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Omniscience Protocol
solidox writes "There is a new RFC discussing the Omniscience Protocol.
It proposes that every computer be installed with an OP Client which would allow law enforcement ('Good guys.') and copyright holders (RIAA, MPAA) to remotely destroy the computer of any user who has been involved in copyright infringement ('evil-doer'). The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker. It also must be able to report to the server at any time. 'The OP must be able to communicate through uncooperative firewalls, NATs, and when the computer is disconnected from the Internet.' So if your computer randomly blows up in the next while, you can put the blame on this."
(Call me before they go gold with the omega release, though...)
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
This is the scariest thing I have every read. Basically what is being said is that since you the consumer have abused your freedom (in the implied words of Hatch et.al) you now loose that freedom and will be punished at the will and whim of the Corporate (tm). In the minds (and I use that term loosely) of these people the freedoms that we have enjoyed as a people were never really ours but were theirs to dole out as they saw fit, to their benefit to their profit. The veil has been lifted and we now see the true face of our would be oppressors.
"It's so convenient to have a system where everyone is a criminal" - A. Hitler
"The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker."
This statement reminded me of the "hacker" from the movie The Core, who asked for an unlimited supply of hotpockets and Xena tapes. But I've seen this post before, or is it deja vu? Fact is, any system that can be built, can be bypassed, so I don't know what the hell he's talking about.
Sounds like an april fools joke
It's the first day of April. Ring any bells?
All's true that is mistrusted
The real thing I want to know is how many times are we going to see this posted today?
"TK-421, why aren't you at your post?"
April fools...yeah *yawn*.
----
Spam subject of the moment: Offshore account secrets -nashville disrupt
Now the world will be free from pirates forever! No more swabbin' the deck and leerin' at young lasses at ports of call! Today is a great victory for democracy!
Good luck on that.
I wonder if putting tinfoil around my computer would circumvent this?
Why did the author write this RFC? Is he sucking up to the feds/RIAA?
"to remotely destroy the computer of any user who has been involved in copyright infringement"
I think they actually meant:
"to remotely destroy the user of any computer who has been involved in copyright infringement"
You think they'd at least try when they're making an april fools post.
You're going to have to try harder than that, Slashdot.
Your computer is broadcasting your OP address TO THE WORLD!
Well not much to worry about.
1. In a free market force everyone (100% of all people) to use a protocol. Um I will make and OS that doesn't use it.
2. Make a protocol where only the good guys can do damage. Um I am a bad guy working for the good guys, now what.
3. Undetectable and Unremovable if someone can install it, it can be removed. Its is only magnetic bits.
4. Goes threw any firewall. Ummm it is still bits I can still block any that I don't expect.
5. When the computer is disconnected from the internet? Huh.
6. This is posted on April First (aka April Fools day)
If you have done 6 impossible things this morning why not round it off with breakfast a Millyways the restaurant at the end of the universe.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
Something smells and for once its not me. Here are some articles by the person that is supposed to have written this.
Of all time even.
Is that this has been around for three years, and anyone with a Dell, Gateway, or Compaq PC will already have it installed
Hmmm, I have 5 mod pts, its time to metamod, and on top of that I have to meta-metamod? When do I get to read slashdot?
The only news on
Will this be based on RFC 3514? The RIAA could easily scan for systems with the 'evil bit' set to reduce the risk of accidentally hitting an innocent system.
http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc3514.html
wait until the script kiddies get a hold of it... it might be fun.
I think I'll just come back tomorrow.
This is it?
This is the most imaginative idea someone could come up with for an April fools joke?
You are kidding, right?
--- I do not moderate.
Maybe its just me, but this sounds like a pile of crap. Aside from the fact that its just a ridiculous concept...name something that can be installed that even a skilled "hacker" can't edit, work around, or completely remove.
"Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the life-long attempt to acquire it." -Albert Einstein
Couple this with the evil bit, and what will happen?
is it me or is the lameness of /. just grows by leaps and bounds.
fuck you mr. moderator
OMFG!!! it's time for me to delete the old MP3/w4r3z/pr0n on the HD!!!
:D
:)
Wait, April Fool's? *phew* I got scared there, now I can take care of some business to kick off the day
Now I trust that the federales won't REALLY go after me today, cause that would be evil
Join the TWIT army now!
The emails claiming to add 3 inches to my wang are more believable then /.'s april fools jokes.
... I created DesTozzer last year. I'll have to blow up the "Good Guys" for infringing my ViralWarz.
"As a writer / novelist you might want to spellcheck your sig.
So I doubt this RFC would gain adoption without those things.
The only way I see this happening is law enforcement forcing ISPs to check for this protocol on connected computers before allowing internet access. Those that refuse, don't have internet access. I wonder what that would do to internet retailers such as amazon.com when their sales drop through the floor because people refuse to install this garbage. It wouldn't take long to bury this "OP".
I know a Company that would call this interoperability :) Boom, there goes one again, because of a virus that puts something copyrighted in your computer.
Everyone knows computer geeks don't approve of silliness.
Now, where's my rubber chicken?
Just another April fools jo.... (connection reset by peer)
"All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
it's already 10am and i'm already sick of the april fools jokes...
it has to be believable for it to work, maybe next year everyone will try harder.
Runnin' On Empty
Come on guys...as believable as some of this stuff is, why don't you just post "Government hax0red by aliens, George Bush really from Mars!"...geesh...
This is horrible. They will never get away with this. How can they even think that this will pass through congress. I'm going to write a stern letter.
Somehow its just not as funny this way.
But you could easily combine the two RFCs, causing any machine detecting abuse to simply silently set the evil bit - that way the user is announcing their wrongdoing to the world without realising, and valuable PC resources don't need to be rebuilt. We all read the article on recycling our components, yes?
"I Know You Are But What Am I?"
...I mean, won't we all have Fritz chips soon, anyway?
...the funniest thing about this is that there are quite a few posts above from people that **actually** seem to have been taken in by this.
This 1984, only 20 years later, but much more real, and much more sinister. In terms of protection of civil liberties, the world is heading south so far, it won't be long before it emerges back from north.
And there are other issues too. What if this falls into the hands of the "Bad Guys" they seek to destroy. What if it malicious crackers exploit a hole in the security and hold millions of PC users to hostage?
And what about the *BOOOOOOOM* *SPLASH*
Moderate this comment
Negative: Offtopic Flamebait Troll Redundant
Positive: Insightful Interesting Informative Funny
Nothing to see here
This to fool /.'s lameness filter.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
LOL
BREAK OUT THE TINFOIL HATS AND THE BRAINRAY DESCRAMBLERS!!!! THEY ARE COMING AFTER US NOW!!!
Seriously, does this scare the piss out of anyone else besides me? I can't trust the government to figure out what my CORRECT FREAKIN' ADDRESS is after I send it to the IRS FOUR FREAKIN' TIMES. And now they want to blow up my PC if they think I'm a criminal?
"Git the kids in the bunker maw! The revenoors 'r comin'!"
Love your country always, but respect your government only when it deserves it. -- Mark Twain
... it needs to be more believable & official - some techno-babble on how the protocol works and how it disables the computer - rather then just "there's this really big & bad thingie out there". Perhaps version 1.1 of this April-1st scare will be slightly improved:)
- To err is human; but to really screw up, you need a computer
Ha, what a farce.
The requested comments shall be quite impassioned in nature, I'm sure.
Sauer
Quick suggestion: don't believe anything you read on April 1st.
I just downloaded it off Kazaa *Lite*!
"The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker"
May take a while to invent this. Forever ?
I'm sorry, but does anyone else think Slashdot April Fools jokes have just been lame the last two years.
Everyone take a clue: if your joke isn't believable, subtle, or even remotely funny, don't submit it.
This stuff is just plain stupid.
"The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker. "
If you believe that is doable I have some oceanfront property in Colorado I'd love to sell you...
Integrate Keynote and LaTeX
So not believing *anything* I see or hear for another 13 hours.
Mix the failings of Usenet with the shortcomings of the World Wide Web and the result is slashdot.
It's called Windows with DRM.
I have a BS in BS.
This is as good as April 1 gets?
I expect higher quality April Fools jokes from the /. crowd... oh well, day ain't over yet.
You can solve the constant connection requirement by using CPIP to connect to the Internet.
You know, I had an odd feeling that the evil bit I heard so much about last year might in some way not be used for the good of the public.
Quit posting these april fools jokes otherwise RIAA and MPAA might read this and actually implement it.
GAAH! MY PRINTER IS ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
I'm pretty sure this one ain't an april fools thing. I mean this is what they'd do. Next thing you know, SCO will be using these things.
Communicate when disconnected from the Internet ? Does it send data to them via Pigeons or something ? April fools is a definate. Even if it DID exist, blocking the ports would not be very hard using a sniffer... :]
Rgds, rec-
Boy, the response to this certainly changes my impression of the Slashdot Readership.
I circulated this email in the office where I work. Some people got pretty pissed when the found out it was a hoax... "It has come to my attention that a particularly nasty email virus, going by the name of Flair Loop, has recently been released into the wild. The virus, which has been traced back to a college campus in Avignon, appears as an email with an attachment marked "Funky" - when opened, the attachment executes a small program which writes batches of pseudo-random data onto pre-determined sectors of your hard drive. The program will then remain inactive until 4:00pm on April 15th, when it will attempt to access the data it has previously written to your hard drive. The data is arranged in such a way that the drive repeatedly has to access data on physically remote areas of each disk in quick succession, which will damage the drive heads irreparably. The drive sectors have been allocated such that the noise made by the drive as it attempts to access each sector will vary in pitch and play "Word Up" by Cameo over and over until it breaks. According to my sources, the virus is particularly hard to detect while dormant, though in some cases a glitch in the program has been known to randomly display strings of text using characteristically French accent marks such as circonflexes or sedillas while typing documents in Word or Notepad. Can you all please create a new document in Word or Notepad, type some random text and let me know immediately if you spot any French letters. This will help me determine if we have already been infected. Thanks."
Mod this thing thing up! Isn't the whole point of the April 1 stories is to give us a chance to laugh at the guy who doesn't realize it's a joke. His post should be +5, Funny.
Wow according to this we can blame somebody other than microsoft yay!!
Happy April 1st everybody
this sig intentionally left blank
Way too obvious for April 1...
... ...
23: Do not read slashdot on April 1st., even if you are bored as hell.
This
Yeah, you know me!
Honorary Member of Jackie Chan's Kung Fu Process Servers
It will never work because everyone will think it sucks.Thats how things work in the tech sector.If it sucks it dies.
Crisis is the rule, not the exception.
Take a fucking hint. Slashdot hasn't had any good April Fool's jokes for years. They're all shit, none of them are funny. Give it a fucking break, try and actually have some respect for the people that are providing you banner hits every day.
that was a decent april fools joke, should fool the nontechnical for a little while, hey someone should send it to CNN to see if it'll make TV announcement lol... however, you're gonna have to do better to fool the technies and gurus.
may the source be with you
I hope nothing serious will happen and be reported on /. today, or everybody will find it very funny...
Now, I am going to drink another hundredth of coffee cups. ---
my question excatly guess i will chalk it up to a an april fools prank
I understand that in England, tricks can only be played in the morning.
April Fools History
/. should add to the mod system for april fools day. -1 gullable.
Evolution or ID?
That version mostly only scrambled harddrives though. In the end I uninstalled it. I believe the early development name of the alpha version was 'Windows 95'.
-WolfWithoutAClause
"Gravity is only a theory, not a fact!"I understand this is april 1st, but could you please not give any ideas to the RIAA et al.?
Thank you
I'll do it for cheesy poofs.
Jeeze, April 1 would be a good day for you to actually post a important story like, a YRO about the collusion to take down goatse.
In Soviet Russia, *BSD is dying!
He's probably popping open the champagne right now, since this is what he was lobbying for some time ago.. Too bad for him its just a joke.
But anyhow, even if this were true- could you imagine the fireworks when the 'destructo' bit is piggybacked onto an email worm? That would be the best thing that could ever happen to the linux movement- since people would be running from windows like rats from a sinking ship.
....move along....nothing to see here....
To /.'s editors: IT ISN'T FUNNY ANY MORE, GIVE IT A REST
the email address.
sob@harvard.edu?
Yeah...
has been doing this for years.
Setting his threshold to 5, Sparky eliminated most of the trolls on /.
Sun has delivered the first viable Microsoft Windows alternative.
Great!
Let's go for it, just as soon as the levels of trustworthiness and responsibility become equal to the level of power.
"Provided by the management for your protection."
The funny or not funny thing is that the RIAA and other groups HAVE been pressuring the US gov to legislate such features.
I think a senator even supported this idea.
Boo! Bad joke - it totally rips off the "evil bit" from last year.
Come up with something new, RFC!
--Stephen
if we didn't have legislators who've proposed allowing law enforcement to hack into people's computers "just 'cos" and that it would be ok to destroy them.
It'll be funny, and I'll laugh when things reach a point where this would be absurd
Hey this is no joke.
Check out your SETI@Home client.
Its actually running an algorithm on your data instead of some telescope packet.
Bastards!
I've solved the first two by reducing them to the third case.
how about fooling people on a random day that ISNT april fools day. now THATS funny!
That is all.
All you guys complaining that /. should try harder on their April Fools' jokes are missing the point. The funny part isn't the posting - it's laughing at the folks who still didn't get it. By that logic, the more obvious you make the joke, the better :)
Read my keyboard review.
Have we learned nothing?
Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
It's only 11 AM Eastern time. That means we have 13 hours left of this stupid ass shit. I just may have to kick my ./ addiction for the day. Must resist... no click link... stop insanity...
+1 Insightful, -1 Troll. What can I say, I'm an Insightful Troll.
given whats going on nowadays, I'm not sure this is an april fools joke!
How much time to people spend coming up with these dull April Fool's submissions?
All I did was a "net send" to a coworker saying she performed an illegal operation and the police were on their way...
"Weapons should be hardy rather than decorative" - Miyamoto Musashi
I think that goes for OS's too
It proposes that every computer be installed with an OP Client which would allow law enforcement ('Good guys.') and copyright holders (RIAA, MPAA) to remotely destroy the computer of any user who has been involved in copyright infringement ('evil-doer').
For those of you new to slashdot, April 1st is normally a "non-stuff that matters" day around here. Today is all about nerds playing jokes on the uninformed.
My favorite joke was the Parrot Prank which involved everyone's favourite publisher O'Reilly. That one even took me in for about a day. Anyone else have a favourite?
Ruby on Rails Screencast
While they make a good case about how impossible it is to determine legal jurisdiction and determine the existance and nature of legal violations, the technical issues that they raise with this RFC would mostly be solved by pervasive DRM. Eventually, every PC, every NAT/router box, etc will have embedded DRM, and you won't be able to stop the deployment and invisibility of something like OP with DRM (with keys controlled by all the wrong people) in your way.
11*43+456^2
I hate this fucking day. Every damn year we have to sit through this BS. It's not funny. It's not clever. It's not original. Please just give us the damn news!
Bryan
Is it just me or are there a LOT of april fools on /. this year?? I'm sure there hasn't been this many in previous years. Is the internet developing a better sense of humour?
.
These are the lamest april fools stories I have ever seen.
Obviously its an April Fools joke, but it sounds a lot like what Sen Hatch proposed last year.
..I'd nuke my XP Pro installation and slap the copy of Lindows 4.5 I downloaded from their site (for free!) on my box.
Cruising the internet on my TI-99/4A @ a whopping 300 baud!
... that as absurd as the requirements of this RFC are, they would have to actually be implemented for DRM to be non-hackable.
until it gets posted 8 more times.
The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker.
So what? You're describing Longhorn. It's been posted about 4 million times on Slashdot. Big deal, by then Linux will rule the desktop. And as long as Microsoft has their greedy little incompetent fingers in there, my mamma could hack it using only her Palm Pilot and Froogle.
I'm not worried.
I'm not normally an irrational zealous dickhead, but I figure "When in Rome..."
Isn't one phony-1st april-joke-post on slashdot enough for one day?
How would a computer be able to contact anyone (if the connection to the internet is broken), if it wasn't - a rather costly - hardware implemented? And why, then, couldn't you just disable that?
Besides, even if it were true, it's impossible to implement. even his first step would fail: who has ever heard of something that worked on ALL computers, regardless of configuration, type or OS?
And who would want such a thing? Certainly not government working agencies. And not even ordinary consumers. And FORCE it? By whome? Since when can the RIAA make the law for souvereign states? (ok, one begins to doubt sometimes, but still).
And then: being completely invisble and undetectable by any hacker? Big chance! The security record of the RIAA and any other commercial instances do not speak well in this respect.
Conclusion: the article is an aprils' fool, or just plain hoghwash.
--- "To pee or not to pee, that is the question." ---
(swims up from the deep)
(examines garish bait)
(swims away)
Modded -1, too extreme to be convincing.
-Styopa
Ok, we know there are terrorists who want to destroy America/the West. We've invested billions trying to slow them down and beat them to the punch. Now somebody wants to install an auto-destruct on every computer so that if (when) an exploit is discovered, someone could take down the entire electronic infrastructure of the country and parts of the rest of the world without even putting in the work to write an email virus?
BAD IDEA
Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
This is something that we will never see come to fruition. It is simply another scare tactic by the powers that be (RIAA, Republicans, etc.) to keep people from abusing copyrights. They know they can't possibly prosecute everyone so they prosecute a few people and try to make a big deal out of it in the media to scare people. Blowing up your Pc is meant to scare those who aren't technically savvy enough to realize that there are too many variables out there that make this impracticle. Hackers would disable this thing the day it came out and I would place money on that.
This is so absurd, it does not even have the slightest chance of ever happening. It also would take a skilled cracker less then 5 minutes to circumvent, the trojan they want preinstalled on all PCs.
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
Then I start reading further down, and find - oh my - it will destroy your computer. And I thought - ah, April First - just like Fresh-Meat's ROT-13 front-page.
Then I thought to myself, my god - this is actually the same as the "trusted computing initiative". Trusted computing wouldn't break your system, per se, but would prevent it from playing with other trusted computers Then I thought to myself, it's supposed to be funny, laugh. Then I modded myself down for rambling on about all of my thought process to the first post I could find that noticed that the joke actually touches a nerve.
Thank god I'm getting a new shipment of irradiated aliuminum foil, straight from Reynolds.
Kinetic stupidity has a new brand leader: Allen Zadr.
for those that can't find their orthopedic hats,
That the initials for the author (at the bottom of the document) are S.O.B.?
Of course, only S.O.B.s would try to write this protocol, but...
Striking fear in the authors of godawful fanfiction, I am here, appearing in darkness, Tuxedo Jack!
I wonder if the creator if the Internet has something to do with this?
True or April Fools, the e-mail address is fitting...
"It also must be able to report to the server at any time"
Oh yes, you must be talking of that kind of protocols that can report data to a distant server, even without any network connection.
____
nico
Nico-Live
This defines whats in the mind of a virus creator. every virus wants to be able to install itself everywhere(computer,pda etc) without being stopped by the user and then destroy the client computer. Also whos going to pay for this virus communicating with the server ?
I am very interested in how this virus would communicate if it was physically disconnected from the internet.any ideas?
If anyone that actually knew about data storage/networking/programming all at once to at least some degree read this they (I) could tell you. This is a wish, it is impossible to do "all of the above" how is a computer supposed to know (using only a hidden software program) who is physically sitting at a computer? yes if it had a fingerprinter on every key and mouse button, but u can't do that with a software program alone, u need the special keyboard and mouse. This is nothing but a dream layed out by a moron.
Bad, naughty, evil, RIAA!
Now if my computer explodes, I plan to sue you for not only hacking, but vandalism and terrorism.
Had you not done this, I would have just assumed that exploding computers were due to freak environmental conditions!
... until you get sued for violating the DMCA. ;)
Last year's only memorable April Fool joke is now a Protocol.
And we complain about hollywood having no imagination.
Obama's legacy: (N)othing (S)ecure (A)nywhere and (T)error (S)imulation (A)dministration
It's worse than opening a beef steakhouse in India or a kiddie store in the pedophile ward of a maximum security prison. It can open up a can of worms that you don't want; mainly for lawyers. I can already see this system being abused. Hackers being able to exploit it and take down computers of ppl or corporations that they don't like. Hell, I can only imagine the backlash from those false positive victims. What's next? Watch p0rn and you're not the only thing to fizzle and blow? What about those "trade secrets" that turned out to be otherwise (DeCSS issue)? Or gay issues? Will the government institute computer self-destruct orders for those looking for certain information that IT not us deems "not right"?
And this will be hard to do in Canada or in some other nations; the judge in Canada effectively ruled that sharing (not selling) personal copies of copyright music files is perfectly legal.
What happened to "Innocent until proven guilty in a court of law"? More and more, it looks as though moths have gotten into our Constitution and started eating it up.
... but this must be the biggest flamebait, ever.
please let me uber-moderate!
the computer is online
i am not at it
what a waste of ressources
This must be a April Fools joke.
The RFC also says "The attitude of some of the copyright holders may be that it's OK fora few honest people to have their computers or networks executed as long as the machines and networks of the dishonest are killed. Butit is not likely that any measurable error rate would be acceptable
to the public. "
Free Web based FTP
-Shadow
This is probably a stupid April fool's gag, and I don't know why I bother responding, but ... ... if it weren't, and something like this does get put into practise, imagine the fun to be had by sniffing the internet for such programs running on remote machines and hacking them - and subsequently blowing up random computers on the 'net!
-- Manik Surtani
look it up
"a group of similar independent companies who join together to control prices and limit competition"
Do they control prices?
Do they limit competition?
Of course they do! Then it's a Cartel!
Obama's legacy: (N)othing (S)ecure (A)nywhere and (T)error (S)imulation (A)dministration
Damaging property with no due process and being guilty until proven innocent (if they even give you the chance). Let's just face it, with this administration corporations can get away with murder.
There is a long tradition of April 1st RFCs - see Wikipedia's entry.
I thought this one was quite funny - note, by the way, that it doesn't propose that every computer be installed with an OP client, it just proposes the requirements for a protocol enabling that. The requirements are impossible. That's kind of the point, I thought. I suppose you'd have to RTFA to get that though... :-)
Will this be implemented over avain carrier? The pigeon would fly over your house and poop on your computer.
In the USA, we like stuff watered down, like beer, television, and freedom.
Will this protocol also use the "Evil Bit"?
I hate sigs.
Low moderated posts actually get deleted before the archiving process? PLEASE show some proof of this. If it is true, I have 0 respect for slashdot. If it is false, well no surprises, you are an AC after all.
For a full updated list of sites pulling april fools jokes see here
Some highlites:
livejournal.com - on userinfo pages, "Friend"/"Friend Of" -> "Stalking"/"Stalked By"
www.gpf-comics.com - Comic mirrored.
smh.com.au - Yum-cha trolleys with "L" plates
www.clutchfans.com - Patrick Ewing returning to NBA
www.freeciv.org - Freeciv ANSI client
www.rav4world.com - Closed? Should have announced that TOMORROW!
www.retrocrush.com - Nude pics of Jaclyn Smith
westcoaster.net - Roller coaster site turned into teen girl site
www.meowpawjects.com - Sock people forced webmaster to take website down.
miceage.com - Disney merges with Walmart
www.badgerbadgerbadger.com - Badgers replaces with zombies
skepdic.com - Skeptic's Dictionary closing
fool.com - Buffett buys Krispy Cream
launch.com - Britney Spears & Jason Alexander To Renew Wedding Vows
MetaFilter.com - Turned in to a Wiki for the day
www.ddrkc.com - owner sold site to a user that is unpopular
brownpau.com - March for Web Standards
www.beyondunreal.com - ut2k4 production suspended
globetechnology.com - Microsoft Solitaire
www.modernwiccan.com - Randomized Color Scheme
bbs.fuckedcompany.com - Site shutting down
www.diary-x.com - looks like diaryland!
theprp.com - Music site to "Previously Ridden Ponies"
mpx200.org - Pocket PC with 2Gb system memory/Smart Drunk Pocket PC application
www.macosxhints.com - triple G5 Powermacs
www.slyfx.com - AOL buys slyfx
palminfocenter.com - Palms for toddlers.
www.carniola.org - fake news story
eikenes.alvestrand.no - Considering porn spam to be in a separate dialect to everything else
defunctgames.com - Pimps At Sea fox xbox
Belive in Technology and AMAZE yourself. -- RIP ZDTV/TechTV
is EMail: sob@harvard.edu The article also cites the History of English Law 680-683 (1938).
Some dumb Utah senator proposed this kind of 'law' enforcement last year and this was also covered here
Here's the BBC blurb
Everything can be hacked! HACK THE PLANET!!!! besides http://www.networksorcery.com/enp/rfc3700.htm wtf is a RFC 3751
Radios could benefit by being set to turn off if they are receiving (perhaps from overseas or off-planet) propaganda that is inimical to the government.
TV's could explode (or the penguin on top of it could - achieving more or less the same effect) at the barest hint of a nipple (female, naturally).
Refrigerators could collapse or turn into ovens when illicit substances are placed in them (but they'd have to be set to check (RFID?) for the presence of a valid prescription).
Yes, this is just what is needed.
Format C:
echo "pwned"
(this is all the time I'd like to 'invest' in claims like these)
I already run the beta of the OC... Windows XP.
>So if your computer randomly blows up in the next while, you can put the blame on this. Thank god its April Fools: I can see it now: Microsoft jumps on the bandwagon - Its not our software/OS - it was the OP client! Some script kiddie in Timbucktoo decides to release a VB hack that infects everyones computer that tricks the OP client to blow up at the same time. It maybe April Fools, but Im going to start wearing my bullet proof vest and welding mask...
Such a lame joke. I mean it might be an intresting, good april fools... IF IT WERE ANYWHERE REMOTELY NEAR POSSIBLE.
I have an idea, if the users machine is diconnected from the internet, we'll turn the machine into a cell phone (somehow)...and oh yea, we forgot about what happens if there is no cell serivece.
This is just lame...why cant we just link to thinkgeek, at least their stuff is amusing.
snowulf.com
if it's built into the OS.
Slashdot Eds Link Anonymous Posts With Logged Posts
They Are Vermin Feeding On Each Other's Feces.
I Hate \.
Your victim must be running Windows
1) Take a screen shot of his desktop ("Print Screen").
2) Paste into Paint
3) Save it in the Windows directory
4) Minimize all his apps
5) Set the screen shot as his wallpaper.
6) "Recycle" his icons so as to make for a clean desktop and an unobstructed view of the screen shot (wallpaper)
7) Drag the task bar down so it is in 'pop up mode'
8) Let the hilarity ensue!
Here's another good one.
Launch "Word". Go into "Tools" then "Auto Correct". Set it up so that whenever he types his name, the word "Asshole" comes up. Other possibilities include company names, names of cow-orkers, the possibilities are endless!
Enjoy!
It sounds like it's from A.F. Ools.
Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
This is a very funny april fools joke, but i think some people have been fool inot thinking it is real. it is easy to believe thos story because there is so much truth built into it. The fact that a senator actually did express the wish to be able to destroy someone computer at will, the fact that the operating system of choice for most people is a closed source one with rumor that if microsoft found out you were pirating it, they could disable it.
The scary part isn't the actual story, if it was true then the constituion would kick in and prevent users from being punished/convicted without due process and override this law. What is scary is that society and those controling it have presented a situation were this story is actually believable. I think it is a sad time for america when this is believable to the point some cannot tell if it is a joke. On the other hand,if it isn't a joke it is just that much worse.
...a lot funnier if you make them actually convincing enough to fool some people. Otherwise they're just pointless crap.
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
I could see the government trying to pull this off. A joke true, here. But someone in the 'ment might actually want to try this out. And with the resources of the 'ment, could it really happen?
Scary.
"That's impossible! Even for a computer!"
Omniscience (the protocol)
Omnipotence (OR1-OR5)
Omnibenevolence (FR1, 2, 5-9)
The existence of evil ("bad buy", "evil-doer")
Therefore, the RFC has defined g-d, and does not exist.
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, it doesn't go away." - Philip K. Dick
Man o man glad i'm a dual citizen because if this stuff starts happening no way in hell I will be staying in the US lol.
But seriously...
How about project LOCKSMITH. Its a requirement that all door locks can be opened with a special master key, owned only by law enforcement, the riaa and governemnt registerd maid services.
How come the most outrageous afronts to personal liberty always sound plausable when applied to the world of computers?
Try some subtlety, people might have fallen for this.
coz if it is, it isn't funny.
Seriously.
"When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail." - Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)
This protocol is RFC 3514 compliant.
This post expresses my opinion, not that of my employer. And yes, IAAL.
Just built up a new computer. The power supply worked once, then turned into a doorstop on the second cold boot. I think the company who made it was a little too agressive in their implementation of the OP spec. 8-)
And there will be many. Too bad it won't be as true as the "Evil Bit" in AMD processors
SOB@harvard.edu
Perfect!
Next step will be to put a wi-fi implant in the brain of every baby born after 2010 so if in the futur they turn into criminal, sexual predator or even worst; democrate suporter! The homeland security departement will be able to destroy their brain remotely!
Actually, all they need to do is send out a "security update" -- which they are allowed to install on your computer without notice from you -- wich accidently-on-purpose destroys it. They can't be held liable -- after all, didn't you read the license agreement which says there's no warrenty? It was a bug, which they are not liable for...
And btw, Palladium is all they need to force the issue, because Palladium prevents you from installing the kind of software that would counteract that -- because it might cause problems with copyright. This includes Linux, afaik -- you honestly can't expect me to ask Microsoft to sign every kernel build I make?
Unless these "features" can be turned off, for the record, I will use this machine until it rusts before I buy something which will not let me run Linux.
Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
...can I get it to run on Linux?
*happy 4/1*
Be careful! Bears shouldn't consume large furry dogs.
Look at all the stories on SD today - do you think ANY of them are real?
Dude wants to name his kid some alph-numeric name, CD's that send subliminal messages, RFC's for Oren's pipe dream, etc ?!?
Looks like the April Fools gag really got some people scared, eh?
Me, I will use common sense
AC
Not like I think this would actually happen do to it's unrealistic needs, but, don't forget, for every new security measure there is eventually something to get around it.
The sad thing is that I know a few senators who are actually trying to work on this...
No more pr0n for me....
the future is but past forgotten
What fun is it reading April fools jokes when they are so blatantly obvious before getting to the second sentence? Come on guys, where is the believability? Leave the obvious bull-shit to George Lucas, please?
Didn't anyone realize the author's email address was sob@harvard.com. I smell a joke.
Get real. I'm no hacker but for every $5 million spent in developing this pipe dream tack 30 minutes on to the time it will take the hacker community to undo it. Or worse yet this is the making for the best back door ever. Well greedy bastards can dream can't they?
the first bios that is universally applicable to ALL sort of computers.
In fact, not to long ago I flashed my bios: it was a pain in the ass to actually get the right one. While there are few brandname-bioses left, to actually get it working... Bios differs from motherboard to motherboard, let alone it could work on IBM boxes, Macs, etc.
And besides: how long would it take before ppl would find out, and how long before that vendor could close its business? There is no way to universally implement and force this legally; in fact, in some countries it would be downright illegal.
--- "To pee or not to pee, that is the question." ---
"The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker."
That's a crock of shit. Even that quote makes the software a bigger target that it already is. Even if it's impossible to find out if you have it or not, to disable it, who's to say that a Hacker or a Social Engineer couldn't get their hands on it before hand? With it, they wouldn't have to disable it because they would have enough information about it as if they actually wrote it.
"So if your computer randomly blows up in the next while, you can put the blame on this."
I guess that'll take away some of the Microsoft Windows critics, eh?
"Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
Windows Longhorn will feature this capability... that's why they're taking their time in perfecting it before release. Now is the time to start converting your friends and family to Linux to avoid this digital form of tyranny.
yes it is
"There are 11 kinds of people: those who know binary, those who don't, and those who could not care less!"
Can anyone say George Orwell. You might as well call it "The Big Brother Protocol". Before anyone asks, I do know what day it is.
Don't laugh to hard y'all. "Trusted computing" isn't that far off.
But hey, I'm set. I've got more than a dozen 486's, which, deployed serially, will last me decades - as long as I replace the little clock batteries.
-- Stephen.
I swear, they'll never get this into my machine. I have over 3 GB of W4REZ and they'll never take it away from #@F@3f23T32]gp} [NO CARRIER]
Wh47 d1d j00 541, 31337 15n't t3h r0xor5 ne m0r3???
Let us be honest here, even if this RFC seems to have the BS_FLAG enabled, it is a real theat due to the fact that many of the actions of these organisations lact due process.
Sincerely,
Nathan
I understand six languages. They are English, L33t, Hex, Binary, ASCII Code, and Dumbass.
! |_||\||)3+ 5!)( |_4|\|9|_|4935. +|-|3% 4.3 3|\|9|_!5|-|, |_33+, |-|3)(0., _!|\|4.%, 45(!! (0|)3, 4|\||) |)|_||\/|_455.
4920756E6465727374616E6420736978206C616E67756167 65732E20546865792061726520456E676C6973682C204C3333 742C204865782C2042696E6172792C20415343494920436F64 652C20616E642044746D626173732E
1001001001000000111010101101110
1100100011001010111001001110011
1110100011000010110111001100100
100000011100110110100101111000
100000011011000110000101101110
1100111011101010110000101100111
1100101011100110010111000100000
1010100011010000110010101111001
100000011000010111001001100101
100000010001010110111001100111
11011000110100101110011011010000010
110000100000010011000011001100110011
11101000010110000100000010010000110
10101111000001011000010000001000010
11010010110111001100001011100100111
100100101100001000000100000101010011
10000110100100101001001001000000100
1101101111011001000110010100101100
1000000110000101101110011001000010
1000100011101000110110101100010
1100001011100110111001100101110
! |_||\||)3+ 5!)( |_4|\|9|_|4935. +|-|3% 4.3 3|\|9|_!5|-|, |_33+, |-|3)(0., _!|\|4.%, 45(!! (0|)3, 4|\||) |)|_||\/|_455.
In God we trust, all others require data.
Does this interoperate properly with the evil bit?
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
Of course this is an April Fool's joke.
Why?
1) His email adress is SOB
2) It's dated April 1st
3) It's absurd and impossible
4) Harvard, come on... Everyone knows that's a school for idiots who couldn't get into CalTech. They couldn't cook something like this up.
5) Restatement of Torts (1934) does not allow (even in its most obtuse interpretation) this type of punitive measure.
6) HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS SOB@HARVARD!