Slashdot Mirror
Linus Retiring from Kernel Dev
looflirpa writes "Here is a post from Linus Torvalds. Seems like he has had enough linux for now, and is searching for a new
leader for the linux kernel development. Certainly a shame, but everybody knew that this
had to happen, sooner or later" This also is your chance to voice who should
take the reins from the kernel's originator.
smoke a spliff, you ingrates.
first post
This is the first April Fools story I've seen so far that was actually funny.
I should've stayed offline today.
this is getting old and so are you
blog
Maybe not? Shoulda seen it coming.
why, cowboyneal. duh.
this is just getting old...
Recursive: Adj. See Recursive.
5v(k Mi |)1cK0!!
My vote goes to richard stallman.
However if he chooses not to lead, Alan Cox is a very good leader as well.
I propose we have a vote, or even a contest where coders must prove their abilities somehow, then we have a vote from the remaining 5.
If you use Linux, please help development of Autopac
I hear that he is pretty good at kernel maintenance.
testing out my trending skills
is that the word shit appeared in the post. Linus doesn't talk shit.
Hot Damn! It's the Soggy Bottom Boys!
"Slashdot retiring April Fool's Jokes"
Alas, it was not meant to be.
I am into the copy and paste.
Fellow hackers,
For some time I have felt unappreciated by some members of the Linux
community. Far too many of you like to whine and cry, saying "My patches
aren't being accepted by Linus, but they are by Alan or Michael!"
It seems that some of you are too stupid to follow the simple
instructions that I have made clear on more than one occasion.
This, combined with the fact that today is my last day at Transmeta,
has prompted me to consider rediscovering that balance I had in my life
before you all took my hobby and made it into a mass movement. I have
not decided who should take over maintenance of the kernel myself, for I
believe that this decision should be made in a quasi-democratic
fashion. While democracy has not worked well with this group of people
before, I am willing to give it one last chance.
However, I do have some opinions on who should succeed me as leader
of kernel development. I will provide my opinions below as I am
entitled to do so. Below is an alphabetical list of my nominations.
I include a brief explanation of why I nominated them and any concerns
I may have. You all should do the same for your nominations.
Alan Cox: Alan has done a spectacular job of maintaining the 2.2 branch
ever since I embarked on the development branch. He would have been an
automatic choice for this job, except for his childish refusal to
travel to the US, where all the real kernel hackers hang out.
Marcello has proven to me, however, that you do not need to live
in a technology-rich country such as the US to be a leader of
kernel development.
Matt Dillon: Whenever someone moans about the 2.4 VM fiasco,
I think to myself, "I wish Matt hadn't left the Linux kernel
development for FreeBSD!" I believe that if Matt were to be chosen
as leader, we would have had a sane and working VM on par with
FreeBSD's months ago. While he has little leadership experience, he
is a member of FreeBSD-core, a position which certainly demands
respect.
Eric S. Raymond: Being leader of kernel development involves
fielding a significant amount of media attention. ESR has shown
on many occasions that he can talk shit and still sound just as
convincing as anyone on this list, all the time being completely
oblivious to any contrasting viewpoints. While his
kernel-configuration-adventure-game contribution to Linux just
screams out "worthless bloat", I must admit to having enjoyed
many a lonely night playing the game. If he could lay a similar
interface over gdb, I'm sure that more kernel hackers would
actually debug their work before submitting it.
Richard M. Stallman: RMS has an exceptional track record in the
open-source field, being largely responsible for my favorite text
editor, compiler, and debugger. No other open-source hacker has
come as close as he has to replicating the integration available
with Microsoft Visual C++ 6 years ago. I fully endorse him as a
candidate, assuming he's willing to drop his puerile "GNU/Linux"
ego stroking.
Theo de Raadt: Theo is an exceptional candidate. Not only is he a
more than adequate hacker; he attracts exactly the type of people
to OpenBSD that he wants, and will jettison those who are not up to
the task. While purging out all the less-than-adequate hackers
in the Linux project will inevitably attract negative publicity
from Slashdot and other "community" sites where these feeble hackers
hang out, it will no doubt strengthen Linux in the future. Just
look at what Theo's strong leadership has done for OpenBSD! He
turned around the worthless "research project" that was NetBSD and
made it an enterprise-class firewall system. I can only imagine
the effect his Midas touch could have on the Linux kernel.
You have until the end of April 1, 23:59 Pacific Time to submit your
nominations to the list. The most nominated person will become the leader
of kernel development. I will examine the list of nominations and,
assuming that the winner wants the job, I will hand full control over to
them. I know that this is short notice, but knowing how obsessively most
of you check your inboxes, I figure you should have more than adequate
time to submit your recommendations. The decision will be final and no
discussion will be considered after it has been made, so choose
carefully.
Thank you.
Linus
-
friends, it's april 1st.
Is this real or what..
;-)
perl -e 'printf("%x!\n",49153)'
This is my kind of April Fool's joke.
At first you laugh.
Then you crap your pants.
--------
Bleah! Heh heh heh... BLEAH BLEAH!!! Ha ha ha ha...
Put some names together, make it binding, and let the CowboyNeal lovers flood it to death!
Viva la CowboyNeal!
sig--we don't need no goddamn sig
Enough already. We got it. It's April 1. Haha. Very funny. Now, stop it!
Slagborr
I am suprised that anyone at all makes any serious announcements today, among all the joking. April 1st _SHOULD_ be the most unproductive day out of the calendar year, and that includes christmas. At least on christmas you unwrap presents and make plans for returning them, but April 1, things should be all about the joking. Let me have my one day of the year, but no, some people just like to see serious news fall through the reality filter. I cant imagine why anyone would announce anything serious on Apr 1. Boo!
The occasional April Fool's joke is funny, when it's mixed in with real content. But none of the ones posted so far today are funny enough to even stand out from the rest of the lameness.
Wake me up when it's April 2.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
This also is your chance to voice who should take the reigns from the kernel's originator.
Taco's mom.
--saint
And in recent news, Bill Gates has left Microsoft concentrate his efforts on OpenBSD. Bill Gates is generously donating his full-time efforts to this project and no extra charge. The reason cited is that he was "sick of all the evil in the closed-source world, and he wanted to stop being viewed as Satan's right-hand-man." Ironically, the mascott of BSD is a devil... April Fools! Hahahahohohoheeheehee. I crack myself up... oh wait, no one else is laughing... [Slashdot crew finally gets it and stops posting april fools "jokes"] Please, refrain from violently sodomizing the dead horse.
get them all on weakest link and let them have a go at each other....
"Why did you vote for RMS?"
"He smells bad."
thanks for shopping....Oh look, a big shiny thing!
Sent from your iPad.
I saw it and said, "WHAT!?!?!?" good post man. I have a feeling Linus will stop hacking the kernel after he's dead.
"And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Savior of the World"
1 John 4:14
Who better to lead linux development than the creator of GNU? GNU/Linux should be lead by richard stallman.
If you use Linux, please help development of Autopac
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and this post is partially redundent, but what ever happened to the art of performing ONE GOOD April Fools day joke that actually has a chance of fooling someone with an IQ over 60?
Having so many April Fool's Day joke references on Slashdot, even if some of them would be good on their own, totaly cancels out the effectiveness of ALL OF THEM, making them just seem completely STUPID. The true joy of a good April's Fool Day joke isn't the perceived 'chortle-cleverness' of an obvious joke, but the reaction of those fooled into believing it. The Slashdot editors have robbed us of seeing any of this type of reaction post by stupidly linking to every semi-geek April Fool's Day joke on the web.
Next year how about one good April Fool's Day joke that is Slashdot specific and that might be somewhat ridiculous but also is somewhat in the realm of possibility, followed by a 'Quickie' post containing the good geeky April Fool's Day jokes from around the web on April 2nd?
Well kiddie, you spend a good deal of your time developing a popular site to the point that some big company wants to come along and buy it out, and at the same time keep you onboard for development, and then when April 1st rolls around, you can do whatever the hell you want with it. UNTIL THEN KEEP YOUR YAPPER SHUT FOOL - thank you and have a nice day.
CmdrTaco...he has been so busy working today, that you know he has the dedication required for the job. Seriously though, at least try to keep the number of articles at the regular level.
I'll take over for Linus. I don't have any experience nor do I have the knowledge to take on such a task, but hey, that's never stopped a fortune 500 CEO from getting ahead, right?
"I'm just here to regulate funkiness."
Oh dude, Linus seems to be really angry in that mail :) too bad it's only an april-geck ... imagine these discussions if it were for real. woa.
Life sucks.
tomorrow we find out that some of those oh so obviously fake stories were true
what the odds right
"there is a marmot in the bucket ? I'll go fix that." (don't ask)
I am now looking for volunteers to put me out of my miserery.
/.ed needs to have a new meaning.
Perhaps being
Lord, bless my users that they may stop being such fucking idiots!!
...CmdrTaco gets the absolute shit beaten out of him by disgruntled readers. He should of listened to his audience when they complained of the uselessness of the fourth April Fools article, but Taco preceeded to post an addition twenty-three articles.
Good quote, too many chars. Seriously, the slashdot 120 char limit sucks!
Bill Gates has been murdered..
/ 4/ gates.murder.01/index.html
:D
:D
http://www.cnn-news.com@64.39.46.200/2002/LAW/1
In yet other news...
Unreal Tournament 2 has been releasd
Via chipsets work and Highpoint RAID controllers are great products
Next
----- Whats wrong with this picture? http://www.revoh.org:1234/whatswrong
Asked whether the success of Linux might affect his $42B in Microsoft stock, Mr. Gates replied, "I only play one way - that's to win. I hope Melinda stashed a few million in a Swiss bank account for herself and the kids."
I could have sworn that Linus was not just retiring, but also changing direction. I guess the editors didn't see it that way. :(
* 2002-04-01 18:39:37 Linus Announces Devotion To GNU/HURD (articles,linux) (rejected)
Why bother.
From Theo de Raadt's nomination...
"While purging out all the less-than-adequate hackers in the Linux project will inevitably attract negative publicity from Slashdot and other 'community' sites where these feeble hackers hang out..."
Tee-hee!
I don't see what you people are complaining about..
All the articles posted today are right on par quality-wise with the articles posted every other day!
I just wasted your mod points! HA!
C'mon - You can never have too many polls.
There's a gorilla from Manilla whose a fella that stinks of vanilla and has salmonella.
Wil Wheaton!!
Isn't it after midnight somewhere yet?
This was posted this morning on linux today. It's a joke. Stupid April fools.
Linus didnt claim to be dropping linux kernel development as a prerequesite to his new job working for microsoft.
Here is a post from Linus Torvalds. Seems like he has had enough linux for now
And here is a post from a Slashdot reader. Seems like he has had enough jokes for today.
Linus hasn't done a damn thing in years anyway. The real person behind the kernel is actually Linux Thorvald. That's why something like the VM fiasco happened. Linus wouldn't have done something stupid like that, but Linux Thorvald does a hundred things dumber than that before he eats breakfast. And, rumor has it that he's also dating Natalee Portam on the side.
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
...Alex Chiu and his Eternal Life Magnetic Rings
my blog
1. qt-console (I fell for this one
2. Apple for x86
3. Even google has one
4. ask slashdot is full of them!
Ebay's homepage was farged up
Someone should compile a list.
101010b 2Ah 52o
Oh great, dont you just love the TimeZones on here.. I get to read April Fools jokes on the 2nd of April.. Just love it:D
----- Whats wrong with this picture? http://www.revoh.org:1234/whatswrong
If this isn't a cruel April Fools joke, I don't know what is :)
:)
Lets just assume (ass, you and me) this isn't a joke, and this is for real, it seems like Linus is acting a bit like a child himself. I mean he is whining and bitching about politics, and how we have the "nerve" to turn his hobby into a revolution... well SOOOOORRY
But I mean.. he mentions Slashdot specifically, and no other places, and says how all the real cool hackers hang out there and live in the US.
This was a fairly well thought out joke, but I mean, there is a few obvious tricks in it. Nice try Linus (or whoever it is)
I do wonder who would win though... my vote would be for Alan.
I have no signature
it wasn't April Fool's Day =(
asinus sum et eo superbio
in omnibus veritas
That guy has developed some kick-ass kernels.
Nope, no sig
I just saw an article on CNET that said a mass email went out today to all Microsoft employees and MCSEs indicating that they *will* vote for Bill Gates, or their jobs/certs will be disposed of. That's a lot of votes; I think he'll win.
I'd like to see a story about a certain Commander Taco retiring from posting stories on April first. Couldn't all these be placed a quickies posted near the end of the day?
----
Jedimom.com, Ever been in a Turkish Prison?
StrategyTalk.com, PC Game Forums
For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.
I'll propouse the same person Jirat has propoused.
Just like what he have answered here
-=-=-=-=
I know life isn't fair, but why can't it ever be un-fair in MY favor!?
Come on! If there was a real story out here today no one would believe it!
Being a long-time beta-tester of the "tar cf /dev/null" backup system on Linux, I have decided to hand over my duties. Anybody interested in taking over this task, please respond.
just how gullable are we supposed to be, Taco?
Ok this is obviously another Aprils Fool...
/. !
But I think I see a pattern here...
All the stories are April Fools, but I bet there will be one story that looks like an April Fool but is really true...
Like if someone had posted that Microsofts new mantra is to be security, security, security...
Boy did I think that was really an early April Fool...come on if Bill had delayed saying it till today it would have made a great april fool for
it didn't make the "first post".
It would have been most fact filled thing on slashdot all today.
Mod this guy to 50!
-- Knowing too much can get you killed, but knowing who knows too much can make you rich.
My subscription check is in the mail.
Karma: 0xdeadbeef(mostly as a result of being newly allocated)
I don't quite understand why everyone is so upset with all of the fake story postings. Is slashdot the only website in the world that is supposed to be "News for Nerds"? Get over yourselves and look elsewhere if you actually care about any real news today. I'm sure some people enjoy at least one or two of the stories posted. Stop bitching already.
Attention: This isn't funny at all! This isn't tounge in cheek humor, this is no humor at all. These April Fools "jokes" are pathetic attempts at nerdish humor. Let me take this opportunity to point out that Rob Malda's humor skills are giving his spelling and grammar skills a run for the money!
this sig limit is too small to put anything good h
About the second time today, that I forgot it was April fools. My eyes got about THIS big!
At least, if I were him I'd feel insulted. The other "candidates" may have their respective qualifications in operating system work, but for various reasons there is no way that they could be taken seriously.
The fact that Alan Cox has been put in the same list as the rest of these people makes it seem as though he has been marked as someone who will never take a leading role in linux.
Tarsnap: Online backups for the truly paranoid
Oh wait, for a second, I had forgotten what day it was. In that case, I hope Cowboyneal takes over as head honcho.
:-)
Its either him, or Steve Ballmer. Give it up for me!!!!!!!
But in a real situation of this, I'd like to see Alan Cox at the helm. Anyone who wear sunglasses as much as I do, has to be on the level.
--Nuintari
slashdot : where an opinion can be wrong.
Hasn't been an interesting story on slash in months. A few bad jokes won't spoil anything.
Just another data point in my 'abandon slashdot' list.
That's it, goddammit, I'm switching to FreeBSD. Linux and Linus are just too damned disorganized.
Carousel is a lie!
Great. You have Slashdoted the guy who made Slashdot possible in the first place.
This is a bit like everyone on earth praying at the same time and causing a Praydot DDoS attack on God.
Ascii artist &
Please (o, please!) hand the April 1 Fooling to the trolls. Malda should contract the foolin' out next year to the /. trolls of his choice - that would be funny and cool. Unlike this year.
-- @rjamestaylor on Ello
He would be perfect! Linux would be renamed to MICKEY! (My Intent is to Crush Kernel Enjoyment. Yes!) Plus, the desktop would play Cinderella Two 'Back in the Habit', 24-7!
Finally our onion gets some real competition (from slashdot).
This was kinda cute. An hour later, this one came.
Here is another one from Linus: Upcoming rewrite of kernel
I guess this has not appeared yet on /. because nobody would believe it. Or maybe it really is is a joke?
Is a bit accurate, methinks. I think he surpassed us there :-)
Mon, 01 Apr 2002 00:00:00 -0700 (PDT)
we here are veri ecksited at these exiting change. we support this changes holehartedly. plz send more news such as this since we r makin our minds more faster than firends here, much thank 2 u. give us ur ur hands.
Sincerely yours,
sataprnamayanapanayama buchanga
sat@hotmail.com
I suggest that Yassar Arafat take over guiding the kernel.
And may April 1 be known from now on as your Birthday!!
Serves you right for being so attached towards April 1st.
Rapid Nirvana
Then I won't need to spend $60 on codeweavers to run anything on it anymore. Does anything still run without Windows emulation?
well this doesnt look like good news. ah well, I'll just rummage around in my drawers to find a present for Linus' ears.
Malike Bamiyi wanted my assistance.
John Romero!
We know he can lead developers to put out quality software in record time. If he can do with Linux what he with Dakitana, Redmond would cower in fear!
-------------------------------------------
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
-- Dr. Seuss
Am I even bothering to hit the refresh button in the vain hope that there will actually be some news on here today? I know there must be some in here somewhere, but today I can't be bothered clicking on source links and reading far enough to try to ascertain what is real and what is 4/1 trash. I'm outta here until tomorrow.
Laws affecting technology will always be bad until enough techies become lawyers.
Why do people still try to pull thi sh*t on April 1st??? its just a waste of time...
/. not cute phony stories. If we wanted cute stories we would be reading cosmo.
INFO, INFO, INFO that is what we need/expect from
Lets get over this sh*t and get back to normal, can we?
Orallo
/*
That explains the feeling of discomfort in my lower back
*/
Avarst there, ye pasty landlubbers!
Malike Bamiyi wanted my assistance.
Enough already. Please. It wasn't funny the first 30 times.
Easy does it!
This comment has been submitted already, 276865 hours , 59 minutes ago. No need to try again.
I found it annoying all day that he keep posting stupid hoax. But now, reading all post of anoyed user, I happened to imagine Taco at his desk with all of his friend yelling: "C'mon man, post just one more of those! C'mon! It will be so funny, those Slashdotters will run crazy!"
I'd rather be sailing...
Alison
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." - Albert Einstein
Not too mention that this story did not originate within the /. crew, but rather from Linus himself.
Lame. Real Lame. At least in previous years, the Joke story was somewhat unpredictable... Come on guys, you used to be much more clever!
Brian
--
Killer Linux Web Hosting Solutions, by geeks, for geeks...
--
The message was dated
Linus Torvalds (torvalds@transmeta.com)
Mon, 01 Apr 2002 00:00:00 -0700 (PDT)
the story posted here:
Posted by CmdrTaco on Monday April 01, @04:19PM
That's like 13-16 hours late, depending on your time zone. C'mon, Taco, you're slipping!
Finally!
Linux is moving to proper development tools and will be including the latest in software technology
features
-- &&
I reckon the solution would be to make a beowulf cluster of cloned Alan Coxs to make up for the shortage in manpower.
Malike Bamiyi wanted my assistance.
1 bogus story is enough. /. has sunk to abject self indulgence.
e) CowboyNeal
CowboyNeal is pretty much slashdot. Not a day goes by where he isnt a poll option. This man is more things than we could ever imagine. He is compared to every thing from 'The Who' to what kind of caffinee drink would make the best beowolf cluster. While his posts scream " I have no idea how to use a spell checker or read a story", I feel he will lead the rest of the team in these quality control issues. A vote for CowboyNeal is a vote against MS.
-Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
-This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls.
-If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
One-hundred-and-fourty-sixth post! beat that!
"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is...never try. Heh!" -Homer
for allowing Linus to smoke weed and waste his time looking at Natalie Portman fan sites when he should have been working on maintaining the 2.2 branch..
Also the US gov declares war on Finland...
Rapid Nirvana
You couldn't fool your Mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!
Homer S.
nVidia/AMD merger
Wil Wheaton on Enterprise
Linus giving up on Linux Kernel Dev
Now given the quality of April Fool Jokes in the past I rather doubt (at least am hoping not) that they are spamming us with April Fools Jokes. It would be more befiting the sick and depraved mind of CmdrTaco to spam us with jokes and have one of them be real...then let us figure out which one is the real one.
(I'm betting on the Enterprise one myself...it would fit in with Paramount's track record)
-- Wiccan Army, 13th Airborne Division "We will not fly silently into the night"
It's a DoS attack. Rather than a good rootshell exploit, he's instead decided to do the equivilent of SYN flooding.
I thought they all sucked.
how long is this 1st of april?
If its actually true i nominate myself
You know, most other news organizations do a little bit of April fools. Then they get back to business of reporting the news. Just because its April fool's doesn't mean the world stops. I'd still like to see the news. Please stop posting every damn link to an April fool's story already! The whole point is to get taken by the one that seems too good to be true, not have to weed through 30 lame assed April Fool's stories.
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
http://www.hebus.com/img.php?cat=info&dir=micro
Now this is one BSOD I would LOVE to get
----- Whats wrong with this picture? http://www.revoh.org:1234/whatswrong
a Beowulf cluster of April Fools posts!
This post is much more funny than the first one!
-=-=-=-=
I know life isn't fair, but why can't it ever be un-fair in MY favor!?
Ok. That's it. No more Linux for me.
--- Sueños del Sur - a webcomic about four young siblings
Seriously - I got very little done today - and laughed quite a bit :)
And to all those who bitched all day long - if you can't say something nice - go post AC - hehehehe....
FreeBSD: Nothing runs like a daemon with a pitch fork.
Is figuring out which story is real, not which is the joke.
Last POST!
http://www.hebus.com/img.php?cat=info&dir=micro
oops
----- Whats wrong with this picture? http://www.revoh.org:1234/whatswrong
Nothing happened today.
sulli
RTFJ.
Trollbots, mod up into MeGaTRoll!
-more than meets the eye!
I know I'm going to get hammered for this, but the greatest April Fools joke has got to be that people are actually paying the /. editors to put up this lame, uninspired, humor. If Taco and the rest want my hard earned cash, they need to at least find a way to not make April Fools day so boring.
We all appreciate the work that Linus has done, and in accepting this torch that has been passed to me, I promise to work faithfully to improve upon the code-mangle by adding in thousands of new compiler warnings atop the many hundreds that exist already.
In keeping with this promise, I also plan to add the following features to the kernel in the next few weeks:
And that is just the beginning...
Unfortunately, I will not be able to sustain sufficient development momentum if the sources are kept open, so I hereby revoke the GNU license. Sorry.
Copies of Dastix can be downloaded from here as soon as I can slop together a distro.
Thank you for your support.
After all...the richest man in the world could help the open source movement more than anyone!
There is more information available about Matt and his work here.
Now, go vote! And don't pick Pat Buchanan by mistake.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Hi.
I have experience in VisualBasic. I truly believe that once this kernel is ported over to Visual Basic, Aunt Tilly won't need autoconf anymore. What do you guys think? Who should I speak to?
testing out my trending skills
this is a good one. the headers are forged.
Bill Gates! Bill Gates!
He should take it over!!!
Microsoft should do it!
w00terz!
-- Goto Blasto.Net for GOOD, FREE E-Mail, with many names to choose! Really! GO!
http://www.cs.helsinki.fi/linux/linux-kernel/2002- 13/0132.html
seeing as he is gonna re-write in vb i think i should help with a good few years of VB5 experience, just waitin on VB .net now :D ... seriously, come on, i want some real news, this is mean to all us gullible ppl :*(
btw if we do go into pay per page will april fools day count?
{TheT3chfreak}
This is so sad...thank god there's a new, robust, inexpensive alternative to Linux:WheatoniX!
Please; no more! Make...it... STOP! (Banging head on Desk)
As an unintended consequence the free KFC Chicken would improve the nutrition of geeks everywhere. And for those of you who point out that he's dead with no soul left, I say: 1) Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer have no souls either, but M$ still puts out code and 2) since when was having a life a criterion to be a geek anyway?
Ohh...that's *Colonel* Sanders?...well that's different. Never mind.
I name Yello Biafra.
He'll resist corporate rule forever.
Finally, "The March is Over"
you are the fool if you try to april fool after midday. Perhaps this aint so in America?
...and i bet cowboy neil will win;)
The Truth: There is no string:)
I know it's easter, and the Queen Mother died, and the Pope is facing serious health issues, but come on... Linus stepping down is as horrific as the pope having a sex change and becoming the new Queen Mother! We can't let this happen!
Maybe Bill Gates can take it over....
http://www.invisik.com
look at this one.
--- Sueños del Sur - a webcomic about four young siblings
I'll pull out the ol' shovel and dig him out...
It wasn't even Linus' April Fools joke. This comes from a later post to LKML:
Message: 50
Date: Mon, 1 Apr 2002 00:19:44 -0800
From: William Lee Irwin III
To: Linus Torvalds
Cc: Kernel Mailing List
Subject: Re: Linux needs new leadership.
Organization: The Domain of Holomorphy
On Mon, Apr 01, 2002 at 12:00:00AM -0700, Linus Torvalds wrote:
[BS about Linux needing new leadership snipped]
No he didn't.
>From the forged headers:
Received: from pkdt.proxel.ru ([194.190.195.189]:21594 "HELO pkdt.proxel.ru")
by vger.kernel.org with SMTP id ;
Mon, 1 Apr 2002 03:07:05 -0500
Cheers,
Bill
I can just see RMS now, jumping up and down, flailing his arms, "No no no no! I am part of the Free Software movement, not..."
Linus had said that he's moving back to the 1.0 branch and letting CowboyNeal take over the main development branch. Bill Gates is taking up the 2.2 branch and is adding some -bg patches to add those all important crashes that our operating system is lacking compared to Windows. And Alan Cox is buying out AOL/Time Warner and canning the LOTR sequels and Harry Potter 2 because they didn't make enough money.
My favorite still has to be the reports that surfaced after the Gulf War that the US seeded Iraq with a bunch of virus loaded printers that caused the air defense system to shutdown on the appointed day.
The beauty of this was that the mainstream press picked it up, and reported it as fact...
Genius - The best work to come out of Infoworld...
CmdrTaco gets a sense of humor. No, this time it's for real !
Could we have some useful news today? Hell, it isn't even April 1st here. Why must the internet become useless for me on April 2nd?
Cheers Koz
You know, this is getting re-goddamned-diculous. Couldn't.. everyone.. come up with a, schedule for mock releases?
I mean, everyone expects this drek today. But, what if you released things, say, on 7 August? Or 20 November? Hmm?
I used to be someone else. Now I'm someone better.
Real life is underrated.
Some may wonder how trolls can be revitalized in a mere day. Unlike normal human beings, trolls - once motivated - stick to their objectives of being loathsome firestarters. What better way to motivate them than to bore them out of their wits with no troll-worthy posts!
Ofodie, fun forever!
...and that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Everyone post here. Whomever is modded up to 5 and down to -5 the most times takes over. Pretty simple, and democratic.
I say keep on posting 'em. I get a kick out of all the reactionary comments from the lame posts.
A +5 first post! How great is that?
--
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
Not only is he leaving but in this post he states that kernel 3.0 will be rewritten in Visual Basic! The email is as follows (for those too lazy to click the link):
Linus Torvalds (torvalds@transmeta.com)
Mon, 1 Apr 2002 15:35:02 -0500
Hi folks,
I have been dealing with maintaining Linux in a mixture of C and Assembler for over twelve years now. While it has been a lot of fun, every day dealing with these essentially dead languages has become harder and harder for me, and other programers seem to agree.
Thus, starting with Linux 3.0 (to be released hopefully by next summer), the kernel will be completely rewritten in the easy-to-use Visual Basic language. This will eliminate all issues involving buffer overruns, as well as streamlining porting of Windows programs to Linux, since Microsoft (who will now assume ownership of Linux) assure me that Windows is written entirely in VB as well.
Microsoft has also stated that they intend to incorporate Windows features, such as the RRS (Rapid Random Shutdown) in Windows 95, into Linux 3.0.
Linus
Comment removed based on user account deletion
first post
I am some sort of god. Not THE God, but some sort of god.
...and that's the way the cookie crumbles.
I just wanted to see if this got modded up.
Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.
- W. Wriston, former Citibank CEO
- Grits: $1.05
- Pants: $17.50
- Natalie Portman RealDoll: $6,765.00
- Giving Everyone 'Moderator' Status on Slashdot?
Priceless!**>>BELCH
Comment removed based on user account deletion
It could be worse. You could be an editor posting this stuff. The empty styrofoam coffee cups crushed underfoot mixed to the crunch of the drained beer cans. All the while the /. editors' mantra whines on... "I'm funny, I know funny...". Eyeing a roach and wondering why the intern is bogarting the last joint and thinking of joining the desperate in the staffroom sucking the last gas vapors from the whipping creme dispenser.
heuristic algorithm seeks stochastic relationship
where are the movie postings when you need them?
Let's get drunk and delete production data!
If this wasn't an April Fool's day joke, and was for real, I'd say it should be run by a committee, not any single Individual. Perhaps 3 people. My choices would be:
Richard Stallman -- need someone to keep you true to your ideals
Eric Raymond -- need someone to keep it real, focus on selling business' on it
Alan Cox -- need someone with a proven record
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
But let's face it, I'm more interested in scoring with 19 year old coeds than kernel hacking.
A witty saying proves you are wittier than the next guy.
Look, I know its April Fools, but that's no excuse to fill /. with useless stories that have no useful information. Sorry if I sound like -- take your pick -- the grinch, scrooge, ahab, whatever. Enough is enough. None of these things are even that funny anyways.
There's actually real news going on out there.
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
This sure made me luaghe for a while!
Sunny
BSD is about to die! They only have 7000 users! ;-)
News for Geeks in Austin, TX
I think Alan Cox would be the best person to head the kernel development. But of course, my opinion has no effect :p
I just had Linus on the phone and he said he didn't even post the thing... lame joke whoevers it was
"The majority is always sane, Louis." -- Nessus
http://slashdot.jp
You had me goin for a minute there.... don't do that! Gawd I hate April 1st. :D
Codifex Maximus ~ In search of... a shorter sig.
Rumor has it that Paramount is claiming ownership to WheatoniX because of some obscure clause in a contract you signed over 10 years ago, and plan on closing the source after it becomes successful and popular.
Barring that, I hope you didn't use any GNU tools with it, because then we'd all be forced by the Stallmanists to call it GNU/WheatoniX, which isn't exactly easy to pronounce, and adds too many syllables for most people.
"Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
Heard Bill wanted to be Chief of Linux since it was going to be the leader of the 21st century and windows was going the way of CPM.
Gizmos Gagets For Ninjas
So many of you complain about how stupid and obious the April fools day jokes on slashdot are. But do you remember your first April fools day with Slashdot? I do. I belived at least 3 posts. I know pretty stupid of me, but ill bet they got some slashdot first timers today.
What signature defines me as a person?
Someone should hack into slashdot and remove Apr. 1 from the computer, so we don't have to endure this next year.
My Weblog
Linus Torvalds has recently announced that he will begin producing, directing, and starring in his own series of adult movies. The first feature, said to be titled "I was a one balled bastard," will be filmed in Torvald's native Finland. Looking to streamline the masturbation process for his viewers, Torvalds is reportedly eliminating all evidence or suggestion of a plot from the film. In it Torvalds will repeatedly have sex with as many women as he can one after another until he either passes out or his genitals catch fire. Well known as the creator of the Linux Kernel, one of Torvalds' lesser known feats is being the first man to successfully drive a six inch nail into a block of wood with his penis without the use of viagra. This superhuman feat was accomplished before Torvalds married his lovely wife Tove. Whether or not the man with the carbon-steel cock can still drive it home now that he is getting regular shaggings from that hottie wife of his (as proven by their two children) is yet to be seen. His current lack of sexual frustration may inhibit his ability to maintain the die-cast erection that made history. Other future titles yet to be produced include "Return of the one balled bastard: LeRoy's revenge!" and "The one balled bastard in a turkish prison."
Not to be outdone by the dashing duke of open source, both Bill Gates and Steve Jobs will also be doing porn of their own. Gate's production company, Mine-mine-mine films, will begin principal photography in May on the film titled "Lolita II: the corruption of Mary Jane." Gates will play the title role of Mary Jane, a 13 year old girl who surrenders her virtue to lecherous old man Tanner who lives down the lane, to be played by William Shatner. Jobs' production company, fuck different inc., will produce an art house film in which Jobs, while tripping on a 12 person dose of LSD, is repeatedly sodomized by a train of burly men dressed as nuns while reciting the pledge of allegiance in Norwegian.
Muslim community leaders warn of backlash from tomorrow morning's terrorist attack.
http://marc.theaimsgroup.com/?l=linux-kernel&m=101 770381312800&w=2
The beauty of this was that the mainstream press picked it up, and reported it as fact...
:-(
The not-so-beauty of this is that I actually believed in this story until I read your comment
Yeah, that was a good prank. Sigh.
RMS.
Definitely.
*SRU
% telnet vger.kernel.org 25
.
Trying 209.116.70.75...
Connected to vger.kernel.org.
Escape character is '^]'.
220 vger.kernel.org ZMailer Server 2.99.56-pre1 #39 ESMTP+IDENT ready at Mon, 1 Apr 2002 18:38:08 -0500
HELO <your-domain-name>
250 vger.kernel.org Hello <your-domain-name>
MAIL FROM:<torvalds@transmeta.com>
RCPT TO:<linux-kernel@vger.kernel.org>
DATA
From: Linus Torvalds <torvalds@transmeta.com>
To: Linux Kernel Mailing List <linux-kernel@vger.kernel.org>
Subject: Hello everybody!
My name is Linus Torvalds!
QUIT
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever
None of these are even funny. I am sure there are good news stories going unremarked today. How irresponsible is it to devote every posting, all day to a joke that stopped being funny after the first story?
Do a google search before posting.
Very funny - unfortauntely as the USA is half a day behind Australia we didn't get it until 02/04/02
RedFive jedi_knight111@hotmail.com
Man, this has to be the highest-scoring set of comments I've ever seen on Slashdot.
The coolest voice ever.
If only this wasn't an april fools joke, the world could rejoice. Linus is a terrible kernel maintainer, he should learn something about Quality Assurance.. leave stable kernels alone!! :)
Is this a april joke or is this moderated for real ? :)
--- I am known for the ones who want to find me on the net. Is that a privacy risk or a privilege? One might wonder..
I endorse Orville Reddenbacher! Hell, if a dead guy can be elected senator or whatever, then Orville can write some pretty l33+ code.
- Sometimes you're the pidgeon, sometimes you're the statue.
Then, maybe, we would finally get things like real kernel thread support with true POSIX compliance in the Linux kernel ...
-- Julien Pierre http://www.madbrain.com/blog
Linus also disenvowed that he was soley responsible for the creation of the immensley popular goatse.cx website and that he's caried on a secret, torid affair with Melida Gates for the past ten years. When questioned if he had a succesor in mind Linus simply replied "Screw 'em! Let them eat XP, er, cake..."
"All your april fool are belong to us!"
All your funny are belong to a year ago!
Someone set up us the dead horse!
You have no chance to be funny make your time!
Karma: Non-Heinous
personally, i think there's a certain comfort in knowing that linus is still on board with this madness somewhere...
even on this day i can't get modded up more than 2!
i think it should be al gore simply because of his excellent work on the IP stack...
-- This space for lease, low setup fee, inquire within!
How about a new catagory & icon for 4/1 "news"? Wouldn't that be a good thing? Really?
--
If I actually could spell I'd have spelled it right in the first place.
Seriously, the GNU/Hurd kernel is superior in design (it's a microkernel) to Linux. If Linux development slowed, people might work more on the Hurd, and thus hasten its' offical release.
Just close up shop send all the code to /dev/null/ thats what I would do.
taco! then we would all see the truth:
He can't program or use Linux!
What makes a man want to be a mouse? (Python's Flying Circus)
Let me guess...Bill Gates will be taking over for him, and creating the new kernel32.exe. I can't wait for April Fools to be over with..........
if the internet is an insane asylum, slashdot is the violent ward.
I know this is offtopic, but I was still sorta hoping that this retarded Slashdot Blackout thing was an april fool's joke brewing.
I'm determined to reclaim my karma. Now, if I can only find a groundbreaking article and something witty to say....
Am I the only person who hasn't dated Natalee Portam!?
"Yeah...it was the numbers that were irrational, not the murderous cult of vegetarians...." -- Hippasus of Metapontum
Here is a post from Linus
I hope he got rid of that god damn blanket once and for all.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
i hat his sp
I feel that Alan Cox should take over as leader of kernel development. What don't we put this up on a slash poll for a vote.
Although I went to the page and initially believed it, it seemed that it was written in a unusually surly tone. Surely, all that other stuff about AMD and nVidia merging is clearly false, but this does seem a bit more believable. I'll get to the point - IS THIS A JOKE??
that's pretty good timing considering that linus is on vaction right now.
You've got to LOVE the quality of the prank then... 10 years later people still believe it...
My work is done
From the headers of that email:
;
Received: from pkdt.proxel.ru ([194.190.195.189]:21594 "HELO pkdt.proxel.ru")
by vger.kernel.org with SMTP id
Mon, 1 Apr 2002 03:07:05 -0500
EASTER BUNNY FOUND DEAD
and think to myself.. god.. what an bratty asshole.
If it weren't for the developers who saw what he did and and then made it *into* a movement, he wouldn't be at Transmeta (or anywhere else for that matter). And no one would know who he is.
Linus needs (a) scale and (b) grow the hell up.
Hallelujah. I hope this isn't just an April
Fool's Joke. Linus has held back the state
of computing for years now. It's time for
BSD to shine again.
Anyone noticed that the message was sent out on April 1st at 00:00:00?
Kermit (yes the frog, not the protocol)
I think you underestimate just how much I just dont care.
Ok, so this was a huge april fool's gag? WTF? I emailed my choice and everything; I thought this was actually serious!
I loved the bit where he describes RMS as an "Open Source Hacker". Priceless!