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Gates Comdex Keynote Shows Plans, Matrix Spoof
An anonymous reader writes "According to Eweek, Bill Gates' keynote speech at this year's Comdex showed Microsoft's 'focus on security, spam and [the] tablet PC', including a new version of its Internet Security and Acceleration (ISA) Server, an extension of the SmartScreen Technology for spam prevention, and the next version of the Microsoft Windows XP Tablet PC Edition operating system. But the showstopper was a filmed spoof of The Matrix (screencaps available here), with Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively, and including a jab at Linux."
Gates plans to trap humanity in his own MS Matrix. Of course, there will be bugs in the system allowing people like Neo to pop-up and hack in.
OMG linux got pwned.
People who have witty things here blow.
So which one made themself black to be Morpheus?
But I laughed out loud when I saw those pictures. At least those guys know how to enjoy themselves. (Ok, back to the hatred and rumormongering).
Okay, so the 'red/M$' pill looks normal sized, but the 'blue/IBM' pill, looks like an elephant suppository.. gee.. I wonder which one Ballmer really wanted..
---
Don't be so uptight.. it's sopposed to be a joke!
Hmm...still looks better than Revolutions.
anyone have mirrors?
How many times can Bill get on stage, claim that "Microsoft is refocusing its effors into security", and be believable? I mean, they supposedly shifted all these resources into fixing the holes in Windows, and, well, we all know how well THAT went. Now we're supposed to roll over, forget about that, and say, "Oh, okay. He means it this time. I believe him."?
In the spoof, Bill gates accuses IBM of stifling innovation.
Then the glitches would be a feature
Agent Smith would need to be updated ever 2 weeks to avoid the latest expolit which would allow Neo to destroy him
It would have to be rebooted every month to free up the memory leaks
Rus
Cheap UK and US VPS
I didn't know the Borg had a sense of humor.
--"The perfect example of the man of action is the suicide." - William Carlos Williams
Seriously, I was planning to troll this topic or something, but...I've got nothing. It's just too lame. I mean, it's like trying to make fun of a clown by mocking his big floppy shoes or tiny car, stuffed with other clowns. It simply falls flat.
Really. I got nothing. Sorry. Make up your own jokes.
What I wouldn't pay to be Ballmer's stunt double and accidentally pop Bill Gates in the nose!
And props to microsoft having the matrix run off of linux. Guess that makes sense. Can't have the matrix crashing because it feels like it! People's lives would be at stake!
Microsoft: Demonstrating through movie parodies that Linux is a better choice than Windows for system-critical environments
just 3 comments when i clicked on the link and already slashdotted. thats ridiculous.
01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00101110
Now that is just wrong.
Wrong I tell you.
So very, very wrong that I cannot begin to fathom just how craptastically crappy this crap is.
Imagine. Using a popular culture movie to debase your competition and promote your crappy vaporware. Where do I sign up for this crap? I want off your lists. All of them. And your parent company lists too. No, don't try and sell me your product by linking it to a popular movie reference, please. Let it stand on it's own merit. Oh, you say it's all smoke and mirrors and you don't have the features I want? Too bad, no money for you, bye now.
Grrr.
Don't Ask Questions. I don't know the answers and even if I did I wouldn't tell you.
OMG, that is THE most horrible thing I have ever clicked on! DO NOT CLICK IT! IT is a woman in a bathtub shitting on herself, and I'm being conserverative....OMG Blaaahaghhhhhhhh!
"Jeremy, you need to get to an internet cafe and cut and paste some appropriate sentiments about me from the world wide
Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively
Um, I thought Ballmer was the fat one.
I can much more easily picture Morpheus dancing around the Zion cave shouting "DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!" ad naseum, than Neo.
I mean come on!!! A more appropriate spoof would be that those two were the virus version Smith (crikey, I'm writing this now and listening to the Animatrix OST and Red Pill Blue Pill is on!!!)... yeah Longhorn would have to be the Matrix code, constraining humanity and the problem is choice: which MS don't want people to have.
Plus, the Matrix is due for a critical crash, hmm the parrallels are endless...
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
Gates as Morpheus. Can someone please stab my minds eye?
Robert Anton Wilson
As Switch. One of the Nebuchadnezzar crew that got killed really early on the first movie and was promptly forgotten about forever.
The Matrix film series are very popular but deep down very skimpy on plot and the other finer things that make good movies great.
Therefore, The Matrix is actually very much like Microsoft -- a staple in the science category that is very, very popular but overrated.
Linux is more like a wonderful independent film that has great devoted followers, but is not quite mainstream.
So, Mr. Gates, you and your henchmen are really just making fun of yourselves.
Reply if you agree with me, or if you don't, indicate why you think The Matrix is like Linux.
Thanks. I'll enjoy tabulating these results.
Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate. Ex-O'Reilly/MIT employee, now a full-time Google employee.
Remember, while MS/Neo may look like he will defeat the Linux/Matrix, Linux/Matrix will prevail in the end.
It does, and that's kinda sad.
Isn't that dying faster than *BSD?
sulli
RTFJ.
That's why you should carefully examine any link from slashdot for references to www.tubgirl.com or goatse... it's kinda deep in there, but it's definitely in there.
w w.tubgirl. com/&intel_xscale_p%26sa%3Dl%
*snip*
3A//www.google.com/url%3Fq%3Dhttp%3A//w
*snip*
now you know;)
--Shadar
The Matrix spoof, and not about the business plan.
And we get
/pictures/comdex2003billg2.shtml on this server.
Forbidden
You don't have permission to access
Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
For the record, she's commonly known as "Tub Girl". Note also how the lady's genitals are fuzzy-focussed, so that no-one is offended :)
I haven't seen it (yet) but doesn't Neo die in the movie :D
:D
Which is Neo again?
Has Comcast disconnected your Internet account? Same here. You can read about it at http://comcastissue.blogspot.com
Wake me when the web is working.
you fail it, in a distinct and pronounced way.
Neo: What is the Matrix?
Morpheus: Unfortunately no one can be told what the Matrix is.
Neo: Why?
Morpheus: My tablet PC just crashed.
I thought after subscriptions started there'd be legions of eager-beaver subscribers with mirrors ready to go for every article.
But here we are, comments piling up, site completely slashdotted, subscriber-only period long since passed, and not one mirror!
Or is it that the karma-whoring eager-beavers are not the same people who see it in their heart to support Slashdot with money?
Unintentionally so, but still. =)
with Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively, and including a jab at Linux
it all makes sense now!
no wonder trinity dies from logos' (windows logo == windows) crash!
my blog
not bad, but combine the longness with tinyurl and you have a killer.
I am one of many. My idea is not unique, nor do I expect my voice alone to sway you. I speak in a chorus of opinion.
here
and more circuses.
"Talk minus action equals nothing" - Joey Shithead, D.O.A.
"Talk minus action equals
Either the Tablet is so bound up in Bill's ego that he needs to push it this hard or else this is a diversion from the fact that MS has absolutely nothing else to show the world in terms of new product etc.
The good news, IMHO, so long as they keep spending and putting attention into the tablet they're keeping out of stuff that matters.
Engineering is the art of compromise.
Borland did this years ago
Borland Matrix spoof
So much for Microsoft inovation.
For the part where Agent Linux burns Bills eyes out and then he finally can see all the Linux everywhere...
I just saw the shots of the video - man, those pics of Gates & Ballmer in trenchcoats have to be some of the saddest pics I've ever seen. I mean, sad like flames painted on a Geo Metro. What a sorry waste of good material those outfits were...
;)
Now, a Matrix spoof staring Tux as Neo and Linus as Morpheus... now you're talking!
Funny how Gates and Balmer look more like they are sitting around at a pajama party brushing each other's hair than they look like they are practicing their sparring.
Billy: "Like... didn't Johnny look cute at scool today!"
Stevie: "Like... for sure."
Billy: "I got my period today."
lemmee guess, www.tabletpctalk.com is hosted by IIS? regardless, the site is hugely sucking thanks to El Slashdot Effect.
Comdex is no longer relevent. It's interesting to see who doesn't know that.
If they focus on spam the same way they focused on security my spam will drop by.....no, wait, it will increase.
It's interesting that they've positioned Linux as the Matrix (the establishment), and Microsoft as Neo/Morpheus (the underdogs/rebels). I'd have thought the reverse would be a more accurate analogy ...
pictures only
Ah, kids today.
:)
Some of you may not be aware of this, but at one point (20-25 years ago) Microsoft was seen as the little guy, fighting against the big, powerful, market-dominating, innovation-stifling IBM. Remind anyone of a certain penguin?
Microsoft has turned into everything they used to be against (and sometimes worse). Kinda reminds me of what happens to revolutionaries in the political world. Let's just hope Linus' ego can be kept in check
Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
Balmer is "neo". Except in the flick he's called "steve-o" instead of "neo".
Gates plans to trap humanity in his own MS Matrix
;-)
You mean like that?
vid clip at http://www.microsoft.com/billgates/speeches/2003/1 1-16comdex2003.asp
the que is at: 16:05
enjoy.
(or not)
We'll cast Bill gates as Marie Antoinette ("Let them eat WORMS!") and Linus Torvaalds at the head of the unruly mob.
At least that would be a case of art imitating life..."Talk minus action equals nothing" - Joey Shithead, D.O.A.
"Talk minus action equals
"...shouting "DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!" ad naseum"
What is the background of this "walking around stage shouting "DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!..."? I thought it was in reference to a Larry Wall "State of the Onion" speech, but now it's tied loosely to Balmer. So, could someone please inform me?
0x0D 0x0A
Where can we get it?? B-)
Unfortunately, thanks to Slashdot's way of formatting URLs to display the domain name to the stupid right in the post (and yes, I do mean stupid, that's what the status bar is for), I can get caught on these all the time.
;)
For whatever reason, Opera 6 just shows the [domain.com] part in the status bar, not the entire URL like it should.
I'm really surprised that Slashdot works better on IE than it does on Opera, but the irony doesn't escape me
Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
Why don't you compare the number of holes this month in Windows Server 2003 compared to, say, Red Hat 9 or Debian?
It's about time someone in the computer world roughed up Gates a little bit. (http://www.shutterfly.com/my/slide2.jsp?auto=0&i= 67b0de21b35a74a7e4c1&idx=42.) Good to see Balmer has it in him.
But seriously, a story about the "Internet Security and Acceleration (ISA) Server" gets slashdotted immediately? Sounds like these guys are really going to follow through on their performance promises.
Morpheous: You take the BSOD pill, the story ends and you wake up and believe whatever you want to about your lost data.
You take the red pill, and...aw, shit, the red pill just BSOD'd too.
You're screwed either way...which BSOD pill you want?
Have you read the moderator guidelines? Well, have you, PUNK? (and I want a Karma: Gnarly option)
For idiotic propaganda delivered as a Matrix parody, nothing beats The Meatrix. I'd like to see some of these guys start getting sued just so we don't have to put up with this tripe.
-Dave
http://up-root.org/crap/img/comdex2003billg2.shtml
This is going to murder my transfer limit. :[
Wow, he's called "steve-o" ? The marketing / PR folks screwed the pooch a bit there.
Nothing like having one of your two most recognizable corporate officers sharing a name with a guy who's known for stapling his ball sack to his leg.
The other Steve-o
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
Larry Elison as the Oracle!
Or just a bad refresh rate?
badda boom!
There is no spoof
The screencaps are farked. Aw, crap, I mean slashdotted.
Next week, there'll be an article on how the company MS contracted to put this movie together did it with Apple iMovie or somesuch.
"Old man yells at systemd"
Link does not work under Konqueror running on GNU/Linux. PLZ FIX K-THX!
All this time I thought it was that leather trenchcoat making Laurence Fishburne look so cool. I need a mental shower now to clean the image of Bill Gates in a long leather coat.
Courtesy of the Rejected Post Machine
2003-11-17 08:56:08 Comdex 2003 Opens with Bill Gates Talking Security (articles,comdex) (rejected)
Bill Gates delivered a keynote speech on Sunday evening to open COMDEX, as he has done for the last 20 years. Interesting parts of his security-heavy speech include Microsoft's research budget, with Gates saying that this year Microsoft 'will spend $6.8 billion in R&D, that's double what we spent five years ago;' admitting that tools which scan for stack or buffer overruns and other security problems 'are tools that we're not applying in our development process;' that security is 'certainly the largest thing that we're doing;' but waffled on security/patch management with this statement: 'Now, to really provide security, the software has to be kept up to date and the software updates have to be clearly partitioned so that things that are just optional and new features are kept separate from the hopefully increasingly rare updates that relate to security issues that have really thoroughly been checked to make sure they won't cause any regression.' Gates continued on about Trustworthy Computing, security, spam, firewalls, policy controls, XML, 'Seamless Computing' and the long-delayed Longhorn. There was also a parody of the Matrix starring Bill Gates as Morpheus and Steve Ballmer as Neo, with the Matrix represented by Linux-selling IBM consultants and the Real World as Windows-based. You can read the full text of Bill Gates' speech from COMDEX (with demos from three other Microsofties) or view the entire presentation online (56kbps low | 100 kbps med | 300 kbps high) for the next week. A warning though: the speech is over an hour long.
i dont believe it. thats either the funniest or the sadest thing i have ever seen IN MY LIFE...
microsoft trying to be 'counter culture'. thos images will haunt me till the end of my days.
it doesnt even make any sense. he is give then red pill that says "ibm/linux" on it. presumably he takes it and then is awakened.. they cant even parody things correctly.
its like rewriting brazil to make bill gates the protagonist and steve balmer that psycho bitch with the car....
IT DOESNT WORK
i think im going to be sick
(oh and is it just me or does this image makes bill gates almost look like a swastica... no?)
I'll just use my special getting high powers one more time...
Other than that, I know some guys that would rather choke on a blue pill that size than go Windows.
I don't go to such conferences, so excuse the naivete. Have keynote addresses always been simply self-promotion and selling of the speaker's (upcoming) products? What an insipid waste of time! Shouldn't it be some visionary discussion of the industry as a whole?
I got a 403, so that must mean...
/.ed the Matrix! Free everyone!" /.ed Microsoft! Free the code!"
"We've
"We've
"Seems the Matrix was running IIS, so why did they have to go through so much trouble trying to defeat it in the trilogy?"
Emacs: for people who just never know when to
There aren't matrices within matrices. There's just one matrix running windows that keep crashing and rebooting.
Photos.
Linux Kernel Error, Recompile Driver?
Does this company know ANYTHING about Linux, whatsoever?
I didn't get the audio... are those "agents" who are interrogating Balmer/Neo supposed to be CIO suit-wearing customers? The customers are the bad guys?
Confused,
LP
Yeah, right!!!
Let's see one of us create a huge Matrix spoof moovie starring ourselves and show it at some large gathering or post it on the Internet. Warner Brother's and the MPAA's copyright nazis would be on us like stink on a big hot pile of fresh feces!!!
Showing once again that with $40 billion, you can spoof an epic story, but still can't write a secure product.
Shouldn't Steve Balmer be shoving the red pill with the MS logo up his ASS?
If Linux is the Matrix, and Windows is the rebel humans fighting back... would Slashdot be the Merovingian, the supreme trafficker of information hoping to know all that it can and in the mean time falling short of disguising its favoring Linux?
Next week, Warner Brothers Studios will sue MS for 200 million dollars because of copyright infringement. This is mainly due to the fact The Matrix: Revolutions did not generate expected earnings in theaters. The week after that, MS counter-sues WB for stealing idea of "The Matrix" from Microsoft. Trademark Windows characteristics include but are not limited to: * 'glitches' in the system * a 'clippy-like' agent that will not leave the user/hero alone * unreadable source code * many revisions/version Windows/Matrix * 'freed' Zionists/Linux users * main characters that can't act worth sh*t. Two weeks later, Microsoft decides to end the whole thing and buys the damn studio.
Geddit?
Gates plans to trap humanity in his own MS Matrix.
Let's just pray Agent Clippy doesn't learn how to copy himself!
GMD
watch this
...as Agent Smith!
http://www.amazefilms.com/films/gates-trix.html
If anyone finds reasons to doubt the credebility of linux just point them to this and he or she will not ever again take microsoft serious either. Is this Microsofts anti-grid tactic no more coding just sent in the dynamic duo? That leather coat really looks good on ..... no wait it doesn't - their dorks.
I sure hope they don't think that they can defy gravity like their defying the courts ("..you must remember that these rules are no different from the rules of a computer program. Some can be bent, others can be broken."* With lotsa money that is ofcourse!), because that might turn out to be a painful reality check.
* No I couldn't be bothered to look up the real quote.
In the 18 months of using 1 advace server, and 2 win2k clients at home, number of crashes, BSOD etc: 0
.;mozilla folder will not get rid of your bookmarks etc. Try to find where redhat installed mozilla, since a simple find feature it appearently something linux doesn't need. (I might never have found it were Konquer even half as crappy and nautilus). Try to rename that directory, as opposed to deleting it. Find out the while the permissions are sensibly applied, you'll have to resort to flint handaxe technology to change them. Do so. Run the installer. Find out that it disagrees with where redhat thinks the dicectory should go. Fix the permissions for that. Proceed again with the installer, defering to it's judgement. Watch it crap out with a decent reason, or pointer to trouble shooting help. Nice! Then go back to the install instructions, get the archive of the whole enchilada. Extract the archive. Run the installer. Watch it work! YEAH! Monzilla, for one use, is done. Now, go into a shell, bash recomended, type the crap in the install instructions. Woohoo. Now by hand, copy over your bookmarks etc, even though mozilla said it imported all that crap. Now, you can install themes. But watch out! Even though they say they'll work for Mozilla 1.5 the might just cause it to not start at all, without any damn reason or effort to controll failure in anyway whatsoever. So then you'll have to go edit the pref.js file, by hand, ignoring the warning not to do so (ironic), or copy the backup over the now 'broken' version. Oh and point the icons in the window manager to the new start up file.
Uptime before I moved into a new house? 57 days. Before a winter storm knocked out power? 44 days.
Number of kernal panics in the 3 weeks I've had redhat 9: 2.
Lets not even address usability. GNOME is a cow, a dead one, a dead one that has sex with other dead cows and gives birth to baby dead cow zombies, whcih then go to the park and don't kill people because they're too useless.. KDE, is SOO pretty. But installing mozilla, for multiple users on windows? Find the win32 intaller, click on it.
On linux. Find the documentation telling you what to do. Find the installer. Don't believe the how-to when it says deleting your
And remember, as per the install instructions, mozilla recommneds a clean install for each new version, the windows user will have a cumbersome, uninstall, possibly reboot, and reinstall, taking as many as 4 mouse clicks. But the linux user, now wiser, will still have to do about half that crap, assumbing they don't learn to write a script for it, which there is really no damn reason they should have to do since the function of computers is predominantly to automate fucking rote tasks with as little user intervetion as is feasible.
But holy crap. The way linux handles permissions and groups; especially in a window manager. Comming from win2k, it's like a modern day person taking a stroll through a neolithic peoples exhibit.
Called "Stuff I've Seen,' the research technology allows a user, from one place, to search and retrieve information from across applications, the Web and file types. Researchers also are working on contextualized search so that searches for relevant information take place automatically as a user is working on a document or creating an e-mail.
Doesn't this sound like Dashboard?
Ah, the sweet smell of innovation. It smells like... well, like the rotting flesh of last year's fresh project.
Microsoft is to software what Budweiser is to beer.
Of all the things that money can buy, a personality isn't one of them.
The difference between Canada and the USA is that in Canada healthcare is a right and gun ownership is a privilege.
God, that was a funny film.
It is a well known fact that the world hates underdogs, and that top dog will never cloak themselves in those garments when they appear before their mutual master, in this case the marketplace.
If anyone needs a refresher in marketing, it's you.
For Gates and Balmer to be doing this is almost as bad as Bush previously saying that there "oughta be limits to freedom" (in reference to the parody sites making fun of him) - and now saying things to the effect of "isn't free speech great?" to the demonstrating masses in England that are protesting his visit. Not quite grokking his own patronising attitude and only showing that he really is slimy enough to lie in order to get buy without actually fixing the problem or thinking over the protestor's viewpoints.
(You think Saddam's a menace to his own people? How many Iraqis have your orders killed, Bush?)
In the case of Bush, as with the Microsoft heads, sharply beating them about the head with their own intestines wouldn't be good enough for them.
Anyway, my point is that Gates and Balmer are attempting to reverse the status quo by lying about it. It's almost as though they don't understand that people remember what they have previously done. Outside Redmond they have a particularly evil and self-centered reputation - my dealings with them validate this 100%.
Gates, Balmer, Microsoft: YOU are the evil empire, The Borg Collective, the pigopolists, The Matrix, the control and manipulation of your customers solely for your bottom line.
Embrace and extend, invasive product activation, Digital Restrictions Management, deliberate incompatiblities with other manufacturer's software. Don't forget that Microsoft has been tried and convicted of being a monopoly with anti-competitive tactics - AND THIS BEHAVIOUR HAS NOT CHANGED.
With security holes in the default install that are SCARY - a naked default install Windows box on the 'net has an 8 to 16 minute life expectancy before it's scanned, trojaned and root-kitted; an email client that is so broken that it practically emails your credit card number to spammers all by itself (there are *still* preview pane auto-execute-the-friendly-virus problems).
Then you try to sell software well below cost to 2nd/3rd world countries to get them hooked (the 1st one's always free), then whine about "freedom of choice" when Linux is chosen. I find such behavour funny, but I doubt you even see the possiblity of a joke from the top of your glass tower in Redmond.
My definition of "freedom of choice" doesn't include funding your near-terrorism level of neglegence, greed and empathy only for the price of stock in your own tried-and-convicted-criminal slimebag company. Being disrespectful to those who are already wary of you isn't going to win you any more friends.
...are Neo and Morpheus?
Cluelessly yours,
Mal the Elder
Give it a month.. Hehe don't kid yourself I'm sure microsoft just is too lazy to patch stuff now so they "look" more secure then ever =)
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, then you win."
-Gandhi
So what stage are we at now?
There is no source.
Buy a Nintendo DS Lite
Moerphus: I want Windows. Lots of Windows.
Daytona
it was spoofed here and here as well, just not as good. ;)
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur
Oh, yeah. I hate those LINUX Kernel Errors that pop up all the time... Who wrote that into Gnome anyway?
No wonder the original link now doesn't even resolve anymore. Holy crap, they seem to be craving a Raspberry or something. The red pill prehaps.
:)
Take notice of just how clueless they are about what the "general public" perceives them to be.
I'm not just making fun here (well largely), but I'm serious as well. They look like asses and arguably of the goatse kind.
The popping sound of their implosion is going to be so... err, well, popping!!
Despite the common mispronunciation that would result in this spelling, it is in fact "niche".
If you don't want to repeat the past, stop living in it.
Ironically I always thought Windows was the Matrix. Think about it:
A flaw exists in the system that cannot be solved. It grows larger and larger until a reboot is needed or the whole thing crashes. Sounds like Windows to me.
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
I wonder what pill Balmer would take, for christ sakes they made the Linux pill so big. Reminds me of that Futurama episode where fry has to take a massive pill to go underwater. Professer - "Now you'll have to take this pill to not be crushed by the pressure" Fry - "That pills huge! I can't swallow that!' Professer - "Lucky for you its a reposatory"
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it - Sir Winston Churchill
While one of the Architects of NT was also an architech of VMS, the two OS's are completely different. NT was written from scratch.
To say that NT is VMS is like saying "IT" is the same as "Dreamcatcher" because they had the same author.
This will be around for a couple of days.
http://www.tenshu.net/gaterix/index.html
Cheers,
Chris "Ng" Jones
cmsj@tenshu.net
www.tenshu.net
I'll bet you they made this using iMovie.
No, Neo dies in the new Harry Potter book. Hope this helps.
sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
I am a MS Wintel guy through and through... but the Gates as Morpheous Comdex Spoof Video has to be the biggest misunderstanding of percieved image I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing.
m
The Snyposis is as such. Bill is Morpheus, Steve Ballmer is Neo. Neo can take the "Big Blue" pill or the MS little red pill. The Blue pill is supposed to represent the evil machines, and the Red Pill Freedom. Right? That is the Matrix version... but I don't think it is percieved by the general population that IBM is the Evil Machines, or that MS stands for Freed Minds....
While I feel MS offers the best line of products for enabling me to be productive, organized, and there for have more free time.... And I'd even go so far as to say they offer the most "enabling" products as they allow some pretty dumb people to do some pretty neat things, I have never thought of the as being in the Self Expression Business.
IBM isn't in the self expression business but if you look at the world through a pair of Oakley Matrix Shades you will find IBM and Linux more closely match the Neo Analogy than MS does. Linux is all about "Tweaking" you take a program and if you don't like how it works you "tweak it" you change the rules. You can Stare at the code of linux, MS never lets you look at the code. (unless you fill out a lot of paper work and qualify through certain programs). Everytime the Matrix shows a programmer using a realworld tool it is a linux tool... Something MS should have fact checked before creating this little movie... And with out risking spoiling Martix 3 for those who haven't seen it, the secret to freeing your self from the Matrix is to be connected to the "Source"
I wrote several of the MS guys a while back that MS was starting to have a very "Old IBM" like reputation, and that people were starting to think of them in the same ways that people thought of IBM back when Mac had the commercial with the lady smashing the giant talking corporate head... What I left out was that IBM fixed that image. They are no longer in the do more spend less business that MS is currently in. IBM's current commercials actually talk about how you can't squeeze out any more productivity that the new "Holy Grail" is customer integration and improved service. And while I still believe IBM solutions are still for big business not for little guys I really think MS missed the perception people have of them, Linux, and IBM.
I understand the thought of the Marketing Department.... "What is cool right now... The Matrix... And who do we need to get customers to not by... IBM and Open Source.... You know IBM used to be BIG BLUE..." And when the first Matrix came out if it had been a spoof against just IBM it would have been a wonderful Ad. But IBM has changed its perception a lot in the last 3-5 years.
If Steve Jobs had done this Spoof the analogy would still be horribly flawed, but the perception by those in the audience would have been more dead on. Mac certainly isn't about freedom of choice, but they have a lot more freedom of expression going for them. And Matrix was about choice, not expression. Neo was a programmer not an artist.
Brandon N. Wirtz
www.theMix2004.com
www.Griffin-Digital.co
This is a sign of weakness that they do this. I wonder how much money and time they wasted on this but apparently after seeing that fictional Linux kernel error, probably not much.
This guy is way out there
The other Steve-o denies any involvement with Microsoft and announces a lawsuit to protect his business.
---- MISSING MISCELLANEOUS DATA SEGMENT --- [sigdash] trolololol
I think that Linus Torvalds can definitely be the Architect in this spoof
it was Liberated!
The linux pill's huge, but you can chop it up into tiny pieces and just swallow what you want. The Windows pill, however, is a suppository and makes you gain 300 lbs in a few days.
The funniest thing about that whole thing is WIndows has conditioned you to think 57 days is an impressive uptime record.
Fast user switching : new (yeah you can get close to this in Linux but not the same)
Hibernation : new
And NT is not VMS. Both were archetected by Dave Cutler but this does not make them the same, or even close.
Step away from the keyboard and get a life,
do something else in Real Life, away from the digital matrix.
Like: Go backpacking, hike some trails!
Follow a real white rabbit through the forest...
(Ya - I know the irony of typing this in a computer lab... oh well! )
What businesses are migrating to XP?
They already got it... Matrix running on Windows XP ... !!
http://www.matrix-xp.com/index2.php?page=downloads &lang=eng
Take a look at Matrix XP.. its preety funny towards the end...
shame you mangled the punchline's most important word. =/
Sleep is for the weak.
...stop Princess Buttercup's marriage to Prince Ruperdink.
HUMPERDINCK!
You are looking at everything big picture. Great, but the devil is in the details. Saying that microsoft isn't an innovator is like saying that berkley doesn't do Physics. Its the small gradual improvements that make great ideas into great products.
Oh and you forgot about IE. Copied from Mosaic.
Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
This is starting to make so much sense.
By breaching these boundaries and getting rid of these seams...
He still doesn't get security, does he?
-- Hi! I'm the "Good Times" signature virus. Copy me into your Sig!
Maybe they took the red pill and believe whatever they want to.
... MORPHEUS!?
Or is it the blue pill....?
yeah xerox
...that Neo dies
Open Source Java Web Forum with LDAP authentication
no one takes the business plan seriously.
In real life, the name is not Neo...
That's because /.ers already bash MS' business practices in every single other thread about it.
links screwed up even in not htmling them so here is a link to a page they work on.
The last post on this page
Maybe they aren't considering Linux a serious threat yet, but rather maneuvering to gain the appearance of a competitive marketplace. I will bet in another year or so they'll really start to bemoan Linux and how its tearing the market away from them, all the while working carefully to make sure that it is never taken seriously enough to gain dominance. Seems like a fine strategy. Let [submit 3rd world market here] convert to Linux, their poor, rich governments will continue to use what they believe to be the worlds most productive (and aggressively none compatible) OS.
;-)
Even as I write this in Mozilla I spell check it with Word.
Microsoft more then just about anyone needs to get the word out about Linux right now. Will it bite them in the ass? We sure as hell are working on it.
Quack, quack.
Please mod parent back down to normal. He has a highly misleading view of history that has been modded up to +3.
Misleading item #1: "Linux is a clone of Minux, itself a clone of Unix". Completely incorrect, although seemingly-plausible to newbies due to the historical association of these things.
I evaluated Minix back when it was hot stuff, and I rejected it precisely because it was not a clone of Unix. It was a toy version of Unix. If it had been a good clone, I would have used it, no problem.
A few years later, I evaluated Linux. It was not a toy version of either Minix nor Unix, it was a true clone of Unix. So I started using it.
Now, ok, Linux was a true clone of Unix back then, this much is true (although not quite what the poster said), and hence yes, Linux back then was not a new idea.
But so what? The point is that it was a FREELY AVAILABLE, OPEN SOURCE clone of Unix -- which is exactly what millions of us were waiting for. Minix wasn't real Unix...BSD was, but wasn't freely available back then...Linux was a god send.
Misleading item #2: "UNIX: A rough implementation of Multics, written expressly so that Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie could port a game called Space Travel to old, cheap hardware."
No, Unix is not any kind of version of Multics, that is just plain wrong. Sure, it borrowed a few ideas; the Unix authors were involved in authoring Multics, so surely that is no surprise. But "a version of"? No. Wrong. Completely wrong.
As for "Written so that...Space Travel..." could run on some platform? Sure, that's part of the history...so what? The question is, what did they come up with as a result?
The parent post is a cynical, distorted view of history that is grinding an axe to achieve an agenda. Please mod it back down to a normal +1 opinion. It is NOT insightful nor informative.
Professional Wild-Eyed Visionary
...lots of bugs."
I hope that after seeing this the trenchcoat-wearing slashdotters will realize that they look just as stupid as bill gates when they wear a long leather coat.
~~
Are there any leaked videos of this Matrix spoof?
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
I sure hope someone gives Bill that IBM/Linux blue pill as a suppository...
Don't bother downloading the video if you are interested in the Mstrix parody, as MS has decided to flex its DRM muscles and have censored out the parody, citing "proprietary nature".
Someone must have informed Balmer that Neo dies...
and someone must have shown Gates this picture of Morpheus.
Something bad happened with linux. Wait look at this other thing that isn't bad, but I'm acting like it is. It must be, because its against linux.
Sounds like you're pissed at the 2 days before the kernal panic.
Loser.
I need a mind's pencil for my mind's eye!
If you do what you always did, you get what you always got.
Excuse me, two kernal panics in three weeks.
Still SHITTY.
... it's just sad... I mean, Billy G & Ballmer doing Kung Fu... the IBM blue pill innuendo (uh... that's one heck of a joda doll!) those two old chickens posing as cool leather clad avatars... it's trash folks... just trash... like those cheap 256 GB USB pens (whoa so much for just 25$!) that die after two syncs...
Mi domando chi à il mandante di tutte le cazzate che faccio - Altan
Wow... I have to say, this time, I'm really impressed.
I mean... Microsoft must be a very good software company if they can make videos that look like movies.
Oh wait!
Honnestly though... is that the new FUD campaign we were watching out for?
If it is, I think they're hitting (themselves) very hard.
I didn't see any windoze blue screening or ilegal operation errors. . . The effects were probably created using a linux box . . .
or does these guys really suck... I've just seen the images and I really think that if they wanted to do something like this, they could have spend some more money on making it look better, they could at least get the Morpheus glasses from Matrix2Sunglasses to make it look a little better then look at the couches, and is that a copy of Finding Nemo behind Gates?? Why does the code reads M$ products when they should be supposly be removed from the matrix (if they want to be the good guys), WTF do thos burgers back there?? is it related to the quote "A MSCCE is to computer science what a McDonalds food especialist is to fine cousine"??? Can somebody tell me what part of the movie are those two frames where are some agents on the street and then like one passing by a door with a plant in the back ?? When did he got the phone call?? and a repeated complain, what the hell is that KDE box doing there???
Well, if Bill and Steve aren't the coolest, I don't know who is.
quiquid id est, timeo puellas et oscula dantes.
From the Dissociated Press:
(DP)After regaining my composure, I realized their take on the Matrix was all wrong. The horse suppository sized pill was mis-marked, should have been the Windows pill. It should have gone in the other end, after Balmer, timidly pointing to the small Linux pill, finally submits - smiling and whistling a show tune.
- Vin Dozier, Las Vegas
This was just feeding dog food to the dogs - nothing more, nothing less.
Lodragan Draoidh
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. - Mark Twain
another example of what would be a cool idea ruined by the fact that Bill Gates had something to do with it.
And then there was E
It's very likely that you have a hardware problem on your linux machine.
Seriously now. Apart for "production values" is there really any difference between two fat old man pretending to be in a Sci-Fi movie and a little kid pretending to be in a Sci-Fi? The one lesson to be learned, perhaps, is that nerd never disappear, they just grow older.
is a hard pill to swallow. And the blue paint doesn't make it go down any easier. And it sure won't taste any good now. You're just making it harder on yourself.
He was using Apple's Keynote instead of Powerpoint? Crazy.
Support the First Amendment. Read at -1
No, but they're sueing, claiming that the Architect, and therefore The Matrix, contains millions of lines of SCO code. (has SCO ever written any code?)
geez, what a cheese ball spoof. I think the world is better off having never seen that awefule spoof.
What a marketing budget, we can't even send out flyers without a beating from the Accounting Trolls.
To be fair, minix is designed to be a toy version of Unix. It is mainly distributed on a CD in the cover of a textbook about Operating Systems.
Calling it a 'toy' really doesn't denigrate it at all. That's exactly what Andy Tanenbaum wants it to remain.
A Good Intro to NetBS
Oh yeah? Would it interest you to know that my linux machine is also one of the win2k clients. I use those drive swapping mobile racks. Actually I got them so I could painlessly experiment with linux.
I think the parent is confused. But, I'll help him out. If you replace all of his references to Microsoft into Apple, it fits a lot better, I think.
hey!
It has been showing on the internal CCTV within Microsoft for a while. I saw it for the first time a few weeks ago but it reportedly has been around since the middle of the summer.
I had no idea.
A mirror that thumbnails correctly
Also if anyone cares.. a tarball.
- Shrek
- Scary Movie (1 & 3)
- Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Yeah, satirising The Matrix is reeeeeal innovative. Way to go, Microsoft!http://images.tabletpctalk.com/pictures/comdex2003 /billgkey/01280023%20(Small).JPG
I've never before noticed billg's resemblance to the villain of the X-Files.
I think I have the explaination for the "almost"...
Well, I understand that a power off of the PC secures it somewhat,but removing Wake-On-Lan is a Bios option, so a no-no for MSCEs...8p
It takes 40+ muscles to frown, but only four to extend your arm and bitchslap the motherfucker
Note that so far noone seems to have made any serious comment on the presentation. Just a lot of jokes. What MS says is just not taken serious here. Does that matter? Nope.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Now it is "+5 funny". I have no problem with it being "funny". I do have a problem with it being considered "informative", and I tried to explain why.
Those moderators who struck me down by 2 points: I sure hope it was because you thought I was arguing with it being funny...because if you thought I was being unreasonable saying it was not informative, then you're crazy. It was not informative, it was wrong.
Funny, on the other hand, is a horse of a different color.
This is basically a comment for any meta-moderators who are looking at context. My response was not flamebait, it was correcting erroneous statements.
99% of the time slashdot moderation seems to work very well, but once in a while it gets very weird.
(Although maybe I'm philosophically wrong in thinking that something should be factually correct before being moderated as "informative"???)
Professional Wild-Eyed Visionary
Im pretty sure they dont have CG advanced enough to make Bill Gates look like hes doing a physical activity
If the dollar is an "I owe you nothing", then the Euro is a "Who owes you nothing." - Doug Casey
Reminds me of how SCO used James Bond clips for their resellsers meeting.
Anyone also notice the Big Mac joke? God, I hate Microsoft...
And while we're playing at "famous compromises", we can't forget the Microsoft corporate compromises either. Not that I would want to mimic your smug tone nor intrude on your own zealotry.
Remember Matrix XP?
Ummmm Bill you didn't tell me about the oestrogen in the red pill. I've got boobies!!
Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?
Sorry about that, heres the right one Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Excellent! This will give me a chance to try out my latest invention - these pressure pills. opens a bottle and a giant pill falls out Fry: Are you crazy? I cant swallow that! Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, then good news! It's a suppository! I seem to have a detour from my brain to my mouth/keyboard. The message gets fiddled with in transit :p
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it - Sir Winston Churchill
...it occured to me that Bill would only be "taking a jab" at Linux if he saw it as a competitor. Which it bloody well should be.
Hmmm - I'm seeing "Windows - The Matrix Edition"... ...We'll have all the information presented to the users in vertically scrolling columns of blurry letters - and let them reply using only a querty keyboard.
www.sjbaker.org
Where did the grandparent ever say the phrase "a version of"? You quoted it, but I can't seem to find it anywhere. Perhaps in your haste to defend the good and noble name of UNIX you forgot the facts and whatnot.
Somebody looks like a Nazi. Geessh.. I hope thats not reflecting some sort of philosophy.
The difference is that UNIX and Linux developers generally don't claim to be innovating. Instead, they implement tried-and-true, open standards.
Microsoft claims they are innovating. That's how they are marketing their stuff. That's how they see themselves. And, worse yet, they are reinventing the bad ideas.
It's hard to come up with anything new in operating systems. Just about anything has been tried and suggested before. The only thing that distinguishes different people and projects is how well they know the past and how honest they are about it.
It wouldn't be the first time that something from Microsoft tried to get in there...
But Spyglass licenced their technology from ... badum dum Mosaic.Take a look at the notice from the Help about menu on IE 6:
Based on NCSA Mosaic. NCSA Mosaic(TM); was developed at the National Center for Supercomputing Applications at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
Distributed under a licensing agreement with Spyglass, Inc.
Contains security software licensed from RSA Data Security Inc.
Portions of this software are based in part on the work of the Independent JPEG Group.
Multimedia software components, including Indeo(R); video, Indeo(R) audio, and Web Design Effects are provided by Intel Corp.
Unix version contains software licensed from Mainsoft Corporation. Copyright (c) 1998-1999 Mainsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Mainsoft is a trademark of Mainsoft Corporation.
Warning: This computer program is protected by copyright law and international treaties. Unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this program, or any portion of it, may result in severe civil and criminal penalties, and will be prosecuted to the maximum extent possible under the law.
Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
But the showstopper was a filmed spoof of The Matrix (screencaps available here), with Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively, and including a jab at Linux.
But I totally get Ballmer as Neo - you've seen his matrix training film.
Carthago delenda est!
that the Linux/IBM pill is not a supository
Two pasty, out-of-shape, old white guys mentally masturbating that they are characters in a second-rate cult movie?
Or 400+ slashdot Lusers arguing the "fine points" of the third-rate parody of the second-rate movie?
It boggles the mind!
To put Linux and IBM as the bad side in bill's matrix...
:)
it's just,
its just bad taste is what it is.
It could also be seen however, as a good thing for IBM and Linux. Gates is now resorting to cheep parody's and propaganda - he's desperate!
You are confusing me with someone who cares.
Troll, I feed you!! ...But installing mozilla, for multiple users on windows? Find the win32 intaller, click on it.
Go to mozilla.org, get install RPM, save to file. Find the Home icon on your desktop, go to the mozilla installer RPM and click on it. For all users, install as root (Sound familiar?) BTW, these instruction refer to the gnome desktop.. I don't use KDE all that much.
Try to find where redhat installed mozilla, since a simple find feature it appearently something linux doesn't need.
The find utility is located on the red hat menu, 4th item from the bottom on the main menu, properly named "Search for files..." If you absolutely must know all the files mozilla installs, go to command line and type rpm -ql "app name" (app names is the first part of the file name, so mozilla would do the trick in your case)
If you want to uninstall mozilla (which does leave all your bookmarks in place) just do RedHat->System Settings->Add/Remove applications. Click on "Graphical Internet" applications, and unselect mozilla. Uninstalled. Your plugins will probably not work - as they will be targeted at your old install anyway (conflicts can occur on any platform)
To install an app RPM, just locate the RPM, go into Nautilus file manager and double click on it.
When you encounter a plug-in requirement on a page, mozilla will happilly install it using the handy dandy auto-installer as long as the page properly references the installer (Most do these days)
My uptime is in the hundred day range since I last rebooted redhat. I'd check the system logs (Redhat->System Tools->System Logs) for possible errors you might be encountering. More than likely it is a hardware problem.
Don't go blaming your unfamiliarity as system design faults.. doing low level stuff on windows requires the same type of tweaking (registery editing, dll registry, ini file editing, etc...)
Pan
I said no... but I missed and it came out yes.
did they make that movie on a sgi, linux box or a mac? or did they get a bunch of stock photos and put it together.
MS does a spoof that jabs at *nix and its bad. Meanwhile anti MS shills write anti MS songs, videos, pictures, etc.
Ah hypocrisy
So Windows 95 was more secure than WFW and NT was more secure than DOS7 based Win9x, and they're getting better with the 2003 stuff. Blah blah blah.
The reason it is not secure is because it is governed by a function of the corporate bottom line and the lowest-common-denominator home PC buyers. These are people who aren't really qualified to buy a refrigerator, but some of them just throw money at the problem and others are resigned to "getting by."
The bottom line still true: people who care don't do windows. I gotta admit, until I was in the position of supporting it, it seemed great. Once I became aware of other people's problems I realised how necessary it is to start a user out in a little hole and give them the pieces they need to build a ladder.
What we need is a distro of Linux based on pr0n. pr0niX will be a *very* eye-candy distro, with a few useful apps designed to make the computer look useful, but under the hood is a broadband-wasting porn harvesting machine that works unsupervised, tirelessly, 24/7 to acquire all the porn it can amass, harnessed by your "query of kink." pr0niX runs in two modes: free and subscription based pr0n (pay sites included). If you pay for the support contract, you get premium pr0n. Otherwise, you get the scrapings of stuff harvested off Usenet. The only sysadmin functions are tuning the harvesters and cleaning out the old pr0ns.
Somebody hurry up and tell me that Winders is jest fine fer luekinit nekkid pichers! I forgot porn addicts don't really need Linux....
--- Nothing clever here: move along now...
First of all, Matrix is derivative of tens of thousands of hero-myths, each originally created by someone trying to relate a lesson to others about the nature of the world and their place in it. The assertion that any story you (or anyone else) wrote is similar to the Matrix is therefore completely unsuprising. The Matrix is derivative of just about one quarter of all of the stories ever written. What are the odds that you were so original to avoid being in the same category as the Matrix (and that you're both derivative of the same source)? Given the style of the writing you presented in the parent post (i.e. juvenile): the odds do not look good.
Second, you appear to have read and believed something published by the Zonpower group of charlatans. If you have any independent thought left, read again, but with a skeptical eye this time. The leader of that organization has none of the advanced degrees he claims, can't actually assemble a logical argument to substantiate his highly astonishing assertions, and near as I can tell without meeting him, is a raving lunatic who lost his lease on reality many years before. I had a run-in with several zon-people on alt.philosophy.objectivism a few years back (I'm not an Objectivist, but our philosophies are similar enough that I enjoy a good debate with the Rand crowd). However, I eventually came ro realize that I was in a mental battle with unarmed opponents and the argument lost much of its appeal. *sigh*
The neo-tech writings on neocheating are so hysterically badly written, I'm not even certain the author has a high school diploma. The neo-tech web page is just too funny for words (though I'll bet that you don't find it funny right now, you will later). The thing I like best is the constant barrage of "neo-tech is not mysticism" immediately followed by multiple mystical claims. After some saturation level, I can guess that the weak minded would lose any ability to actually differentiate mysticism (neo-tech) from not (reality)... Looks like this is where you are right now.
Good luck to you, sir.
Regards,
Ross
It is rhetoric, not marketing
Rhetoric has a much older history than you marketroids, and the people working for gates are top notch. Ever notice how the best people in certain fields "break the paradigm" that's what gates ' people are doing here - they are breaking your stupid marketing "rule". There are no rules, just what works.
It works as a spectacle, it works because it confuses the relations, it works because it is funny (even I softened my hatred for them through viewing it, because it means gates has some form of soul). In short, it just works. It is a system of signs and codes that have an effect in different ways on different people you can't have a "rule" about how it will effect everyone, that's just BS.
If we all people followed their marketing 201 to the letter then we'd have shitful boring adverts on TV that use volume increases and swirling images to draw out attention all the time.... hang on.... we already do.
Wake up and smell the rotten cheese of your discipline marketroid.
Sorry if there is a bit of hate here, this isn't a troll, I just got pissed of at the "5 interesting" more like a 2 or a 3. You have a point, but it is far from all encompassing or unassailable.
Marketing as a discipline is very far from psychoanalysis and cultural studies or classical rhetoric and when viewed from this perspective it just looks like a stinking pile of excrement that symbolises (to me anyway) all the cheap value judgements that cause modern societies to fracture.
You aren't going to find a wonder-skin-cream that will repair those fractures in society on late-night TV either, it takes hard work to make a society good. Comments like yours just condone being average and boring and the type of marketroid philosophies that have got us to such a state in the first place.
I think it would've been more fitting if MS had spoofed "Smokey and the Bandit" instead. Ballmer and Gates could have played Big and Little Enos Burdette respectively, making underhanded deals and paying people off.
It could star Darl McBride and Chris Sontag as Sheriff Buford T. Justice and Junior respectively, haphazardly chasing after Linus playing the Bandit, and Samuel J. Palmisano (CEO of IBM) playing the Snowman.
"Proudly Posting Without Reading The Article"
Seriously, are you talking enteprise? Thats the only way your standards make sence. If the new versions are better and viable alternatives exist,then it is not Microsoft's fault, but yours for staying on an admittedly poor platform. You have to keep up with MS' latest or use soemthign different altogether. Its the only way to keep your sanity and productivity.
The site's "shell server" was compromised May 22 after a SourceForge employee logged on to an outside Internet service provider that had already been taken over by the intruder, said Pat McGovern, site director of SourceForge.net. When the staff member logged on to SourceForge remotely, the intruder captured the password.
Well some of that is true, I mean I did trojan ssh but I did it about 5 months ago, so kudos to the admin you sir are awesome..
"What happened was the (ISP) was compromised and had not known it," McGovern said, adding that the site's administrator quickly noticed the intruder and shut systems down. "Basically we had to go through and rebuild the machine, and then we checked the log file of everyone who used the machine."
hrm I guess that could also be considered true, if by true you mean, finding out every box on your network is owned 5 months after the fact and only due to my own boredom that consisted of me ircing it infront of the admin, by the way good job of auditing your network, wait thats just too much sarcasm for one sentence..
After the attack, VA removed the shell service until workers could reinstall the software and data on the server. The shell server allowed SourceForge members to type commands into the system remotely. On Thursday, the company posted an alert that the shell server couldn't be used because of an "unscheduled maintenance event."
It also allowed me to sniff my way onto apache.org and sourceforge webserver and leave all sorts of goodies in the code..
In this case, they only got into a shell server," McGovern said.
Hey, theres no disputing that, I mean.. wait.. Whats this I'm defacing ?
The company also decided to shut down its "compile farm," a collection of computers running different operating systems on which SourceForge developers can test their software.
Why would they shut down other boxes, if only the shell server was hacked ?
Although illicit modifications to the programming projects are a concern, McGovern said the intruder didn't get that far.
oh come now, you're just being silly..
Its ok thought I dont blame you guys, I mean atleast you admited to being schooled, thats more then I can say for akamai, but thats a different story all together.. But never the less, I'd like to thank valinux.. apache.. akamai and ofcourse exodus without their poor security and refusal to make security breaches known to the public I wouldnt be sitting atop a mountain of roots and oodles of proprietary software.. This is the fluffy bunny signing of.. beep..
-fluffy@#blackpanthers on efnet (the scourge of efnet)
This is so tired! Only about a trillion companies in the last fifty years have had their CEOs get together and try and look cool by copying various movies, TV shows and celebrities. They end up looking like idiots but everyone has to clap along, and try not to groan too loudly. Of course, with Gates and Ballmer, there's pretty much no way they could do anything without looking like complete dorks anyway...
It's also pretty stupid to do anything with the Matrix - it's been spoofed, parodied and sent up into oblivion anyway, in everything from Shrek, Scary Movie and Kung Pow to endless crappy TV skits and sitcoms, to the guys who trot their crappy Morpheus costume out every Halloween, to the legions of black clad goth dudes and dudettes who dress like that all the time anyway. Put down the whip, leave the horse alone. It's dead. It's been dead for bloody years!
The crazy thing is that every time this stunt is pulled, the CEOs think they are being stunningly, paradigm-shattering creative. You're not funny. You're not cool. You look stupid. We would rather hammer nails into our genitals than sit through your clip again. Please, just give a neat little speech and go back to the gold course.
the punch line is, obviously, the "bob" reference - and i freely admit that i know jack about win2k. i was informed by a "windows guy" (the sort who wears the ms golf shirt... you know them) that the afformentioned os was "built on vms". as for the "who boosted the gui from who argument" all i can say in defense was that apple got a two hour tour of xerox par, gave xerox a sweet stock deal in return and never made any secret of it's intentions that it was considering building a gui-driven os. ms got several prototype macs with strict nda's so they could build user apps and appeared with windows shortly thereafter.
if there is one company in the history of computing that has been truly innovative it hast to be... at&t. but if there are two, the other one is apple.
moderator note: this post is painfully offtopic.
2 1337 4 u!
Funny how Ballmer looks a lot like Neo of The Meatrix
Care to try again? Maybe you need some glasses?
Longhorn was in the spoof for no reason
I'm all for open source, only Gates is at the laffing at me stage which puts him ahead of GNU/Linux, which is ignoring me....Not totally cause there is some attention...maybe enough to know I tried to tell....
There is a difference between being arrogant and just plain lying. MS lies....where does that leave GNU/Linux
The Matux Has You
Actually, that's more like a "Morpheux" than a "Matux". Whatever. Click and giggle.
that Microsoft is spoofing a 5 year old movie. Hey, they spoof a 5-year-old GUI, why not a movie?
"Sometimes a woman is a kind of religion, she can save your soul & set you free from all your sins" - Bad Examples
They just ... really don't have a clue .... do they.
what a bunch of fucking idiots.
http://www.geocities.com/baddsectorr
Why don't you just say, 'Hah hah, good one, Bill.' It was funny as hell seeing Gates and Ballmer play Morpheus and Neo. I even daresay it was cool, and the jab at Linux is certainly not worse than all the friggin' "MS Matrix" parodies out there.
Gates has just been funny poking fun at Linux, admit it, dammit.
What you guys are showing is an inability to laugh at yourself.
From my POV, looking at what posts are getting high scores, it is the linux community making fun of Microsoft.
Looks like Microsoft is learning to turn the tables on Linux, while the parent post is being modded down to be under most readers radar.
Interesting. Keep up the good work Linux...
When I were a lad, we 'ad to log out o't' system 20 minutes before we logged in, work in a plutonium encased room, 500 metres down a mineshaft in a vacuum week in, week out, remove all t'data we were trying to print and then when we come 'ome, our sysadmin would *clickety* our pr0n collection, fill our 'ouse wi' halon and 'ave t' RIAA visit us at 2am.
And you tell that t' kids o' today, and they won't believe you.
The only thing you can accurately describe as "Scotch" is a sticky tape made by 3M. And it's
Yep. The origional Fluffy Bunny rant. You can still find mirrors of the origional defaced page (complete with cute graphics and the above rant). The rant itself shows up in Slashdot archives and Google Groups often enough.
It is just me, or does Bill G in leather jacket look vaguely like someone from the history books?
;)
The picture: is here
If only he had a small mustache and wore jackboots
Hell, I bet he *is* wearing jackboots.
The number of bovines that had to die for that production (both in the hides that Gates and Balmer wore as well as the uncountable Longhorn burgers) is hard to fathom.
At least they didn't have Steve Balmer playing Trinity.
"Morpheus! Morpheus! Morpheus! Morpheus! Morpheus!"
Note: For those who don't get the above attempt at humour, peep this: http://www.ntk.net/media/developers.mpg
"Yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay."
This is the dumbest parody I've seen. Gee, I'm an uberhacker like Neo, cus I know VB.NET. Actually I'm ashamed I know VB. Is this the worse casting since Gigli? Can I give Bill Gates a -1 Troll/Flamebait? Maybe next year Gates and Balmer can play the crew of the USS Enterprise while Linus is the Borg. I'd love to see a counter parody starring some of the open source crowd.
Incidently, I think we all know Bill Gates is some combination of Agent Smith, Kaiser Zozeg, and Darth Vader.
What do you mean my sig is repetitive? What do you mean my sig is repetitive? What do you mean....
From the company that brought you 'Dance Monkey Boy Revolution' and 'Pie in the Face Gates' comes a new story about an evil empire's battle with something FREE. Watch as Billgatseo and Morphbalmermonkeus take on Linux the only way they know how: by continuing to produce inferior, bug ridden software and making fun of Open Source Software. The Blowchowski brothers direct this action packed film, which features groundbreaking special effects such as the amazing "Virus Time". The New York Times raved that the Monopolatrix is "brilliant...the love scenes between Gates and Ballmer are so hot, you'll wet your pants." Ebert claims he has "never seen a movie so touching...I can see that the struggle against this Lunix thing is a real one...I had tears in my eyes." The Monopolatrix will open in theaters nationwide Thanksgiving Day. Those hoping to view the movie can purchase Licenses online for $399 per seat, and 6.0 licensing options are also available.
Developers Developers Developers Developers
Developers Developers Developers Developers
I've got one word for you!
Developers Developers Developers Developers
GET YOUR WEAPONS READY! --DR.LIGHT
Unlikely meaning you have no fucking clue at all because you have no idea what you are talking about. Stop wasting our time asshole.
Betas and RC. Why would anyone care to crack betas and RC which are run by like 1000 people in non-critical systems.
Fuck Them
Why would they name it ISA? Everyone knows ISA was obsoleted by PCI. ISA is slow.
Furry cows moo and decompress.
Scenario One: Blue Screen of Apocalypse
Scene one:
Scene two: Scene three:Scenario Two: Plague of Totality
"Where do you want to go tomorrow?"
All data is speech. All speech is Free.
"Bill, your not the one."
"But with our new trusted computing initiative, we're sure to defeat Zion."
"Cut it out, Bill. You're killing our sales with your trust obsession."
"Yea, Steve? At least I don't see penguins everywhere."
"Missster Gates. We've been studying you for some time."
"I know my rights! I wanna see a lawyer! Oh, fuck! I knew that it was a bad idea to drop out of Harvard Law!"
"It seems that you have many aliases, including BillyBoyGates, BillBorg and TheNerdKing. However, this latest infringement is unacceptable."
"No! Stallman! Don't do it!"
"We'd like you to call your software GNU/Windows."
[Freaky invasive scene followed by Gates sitting upright in bed.]
I don't get it.
Microsoft represents the ragtag rebel alliance trying to save the majority sheeples from the all-powerful IBM-Linux Matrix?
Never mind remedial security courses for Microsoft programmers. Their ad-men need remedial courses in film interpretation and allegory.
Or someone needs to take their copies of 1984 away. I'm pretty sure that an ad campaign on freeing people from the Linux monopoly is a bit too unsubtle for, well, for anyone.
Aside: I'm still ambivalent about the Matrix. You would be too, if you had taught introductory philosophy courses at Carnegie Mellon. Three-quarters of the geeks in my course had signed up for philosophy because they thought it was just like the Matrix.
I don't mind if I never hear another Descartes/Wachowski comparison again. Especially if I never hear that Descartes would be better with more explosions and slo-mo bullets.
Phiwum's law: anyone that names an obvious law after himself and then puts it in his own sig is just pathetic.
You can't blame Windows for an ATI driver getting stuck in an infinite loop.
Like the grandparent said, if your Linux video driver got stuck in a loop you'd be hosed. At least Windows detects it and recovers gracefully.
The Linux driver model is so old that it's not funny. Linux is 1960s design blended with today's half-baked code written by script kiddies.
Sorry, the RPM didn't work. Why? Redhat said it needed other packages which I didn't have, and it didn't feel like gathering. I thought that was insignificant, as it wasn't part of the instructions Mozilla recommended. Randomly, I did try that in the Gnome enviroment, but nautilus was giving me an aneurism so when I found out how to switch over to KDE I did. (I'll probably go back and try gnome again, once I think I've got the hang of KDE, and have it all gussied up.)
I know about mozilla's install happieness. It installed walnut 1.5 (which I suspect is supposed to appear as walnut/15 in the pref.js file but there are other better themes). It said everything is fine. I apply the theme, it says it's a go on restart. Fine. Close, restart, and does it open? Nope. Does it provide any error message in a dialogue or try again with the default theme, all reasonable behaviors? Nope. It does seem to spam a couple different logs with error messages though. Mozilla's lack of recovery certainly is a defficency owned by mozilla, but the lack of a dialogue? I think that can safely be put to, at least partly, to linux and the graphical enviroments as well as mozilla.
After I wrote it, I did finally find KFind, which *looks* like it might theoretically work. But ever the pepsi challange type I started it on finding every directory containg the text mozilla. As of yet still no results. Obviously this is taking some time. In fact it was taking so long I rebooted the advance server (P3 850 with a mess of ram and a scsi raid array) and sent it a similar request. Find all files AND folders containing "winnt" Not only did it find results, it finished, and I'm a little surprised by this, first. Kfind, on the other hand, is finished as I write *this* sentance, and found 0 results. I, myself, can find no less than 5 directories containing that text off the top of my head. I have a sneaky suspicious that some of Kfind's failure is due to it using that horrid find command in some fashiion, freaking permissions (using run-as to find a file? Fine, Since I just found out how to do that in linux. Again, doesn't seem to be as easy as holding a key and launching an application....I've tried to find run as and run as root in the help)
Oh my God. Ok, I found one, shockingly ass-backwards, way to do it. Man it takes me back to norton commander. Ok, if I run konsole as a 'super user' I can use midnight commander (HAHAHA) to find a file ala emacs style commands, and it's even reasonably fast, if a little overly verbose. Wow, that's about as modern as alchemy, better than a fint hand ax, so perhaps I should be happy to have this much. Now I'm all nostalgic, maybe I'll go play Bandit Kings of Ancient China in sparkeling EGA graphics again.
As for the kernal panics, those, and I obviously don't know exactly how, seemed to be associate with the packages I installed. I pared it down to something well short of including a kitchen sink, and aside from the considerable slowness of gnome (KDE is so much prettier anyway) it's been moderately well behaved. Perhaps one of the updates I got via redhat's update fixed the problem as well, particularly since one of those was a new kernal. Appearently the closest I'm going to get to "run-as" as windows does it, is alt-F2, and then dragging the icon from the menu into the dialogue, which isn't horrible, but not what it could be either. Especially, considering how much Linux seems to depend on running stuff in that fashion. Finding files in Konqueror in that fasion isn't the trip to the oral surgeon it was,
While windows might benefit from the occasional massaging. It doesn't demand it to anywhere approximating the degree graphical linux seems to. Sure I've done my share of registry editing, uninstalling miss-auto-installed HP usb and multi-fucntion drivers, malware acquired by people who went where they probably shouldn't have. (Certainly, the ease with which the malware is installed is a great reason to bash microsoft.) And when it does demand mass
Most people here seem to hate that spoof, and it seems just because it's MicroSoft making fun out of Linux.
I really hate MicroSoft, and I really love Linux. But I have to admit that this spoof has style. I mean, it's normal for MicroSoft to bash Linux, but this time they're doing it with style, and I find it very funny.
It's not good to take everything serious, and while I really hate MS, billg and Monkeyboy this spoof really is funny, IMHO. It's childish to say it's bad just because it's MS bashing Linux. If it were Linus and Alan Cox doing that very same video, bashing MicroSoft, everyone would praise it as the best piece of humor in IT ever...
"Missster Gates. We've been studying you for some time."
"I know my rights! I wanna see a lawyer! Oh, fuck! I knew that it was a bad idea to drop out of Harvard Law!"
"It seems that you have many aliases, including BillyBoyGates, BillBorg and TheNerdKing. However, this latest infringement is unacceptable."
"No! Stallman! Don't do it!"
"We'd like you to call your software GNU/Windows."
Continuing on the Matrix theme, how about "Everything that has a begining, has an end." Sounds good for the new microsoft slogan.
So I guess you are spread wide open and ready for cock?
WTF are you smokeing. THE PROBLEM WENT AWAY IN LINUX. there is no problem with linuc, linux worked, its WINDOWS that had the driver error and BSOD.
And a BSOD is not "recovering gracefully". recovering gracefully would be unloading the current display drivers and loading default ones that are going to work 100% (or at least 99%) of the time. Thats how it should work, and i belive under linux such a thing would happen but i'm not 100% sure.
Get a clue dude.
They're so totally out of it. Who wants to look at a larger than life Ballmer anyway? He already is larger than life! And neither of them are known for being nice guys. They're assholes. Trying to win sympathy with this shit? They could have spoofed the third movie, not this old monster. They could have done so many things.
Rich they might be - until someone comes after them - but with it, they are not. Totally. For sure.
This is spoiler ...
... :)
don't read if you havent see Matrix Revolution !!!!
Will the end of Gates 'Neo' will be the same as Neo in matrix revolutions ? Will he surrender and asking peace treatment to Linux ? and will Gates 'die' in peace like Neo in Matrix ?
If like that, then Linux rock
./me --G--
Comment #7497718
Remember if operating systems were airlines"? How about a new list: "If operating systems were Matrix films":
MS Windows. Everybody's clothes are bright blue and yellow because the rebellion's marketing department decided that black leather was just not the family image they are trying to project. Trinity never falls in love with Neo [Gates] because of his glasses and haircut and leaves in disgust after the first film -- but Neo doesn't notice or care. The rebels win when they do this really vicious embrace-and-extend trick and take over the agents. In the end, nobody can tell the difference between the Old Matrix and Matrix XP, except that the world goes blue for a few minutes once a day and everything suddenly seems terribly expensive.
OS X. Everybody wears perfectly designed flower power clothes and smiles in a warm, friendly way. The only exception is Trinity, who wanders around talking about her homework and seems, well, stoned. Neo [Jobs] and the crew jack out a small but unbelievably well trained elite that kicks everybody's ass. Still, they never manage to make significant inroads and when the rebellion almost dies due to lack of interest, the machines actually have to help them out. In the end, everybody just goes to the Merovingian's really cool parties, forgets the war and has great sex for the whole third film.
Linux. Everybody wears black leather, all obviously hand made by people with widely different tastes. Neo [Linus] never really seems to give a damn about the war, but all around him, agents tend to explode and people jack out in droves just the same. His lines are actually funny. Trinity really is the best hand-to-hand fighter, but you never get to see her in action, so teenagers show little interest in the series until the third film. There is no final battle because at some point the machine empire just falls apart, as there is nobody left to supply them with power.
FreeBSD. Everybody has really cool black leather trimmed with red. The rebels are a very small, tight-knit group who are invulnerable, but nobody can agree who Neo is and Trinity never shows up, either. Every time somebody wins a fight against the machines, a different rebel gives them the spoils back and adds some of the rebel's own technology as a free gift. In the end, the rebels hold their own with ease, but the machines' power keeps growing unchecked. The last scene is an agent saying: "The rebels? I thought they were dead."
OS/360. The rebels wear the same suits as the machines, just cleaner, and call each other by their last names. Nobody can tell who Neo is, though Trinity is probably the one in the skirt. They don't sleep, ever, they don't smile, ever, and they don't so much fight as just silently march over their enemies. Each rebel can do really weird stuff like make virtual copies of any other character that fight for him, and the machines are finally defeated by the endless resources the rebels throw at them. Unfortunately, nobody really understands what happened because the rebel's terminology is so strange, and the film bombs.
Maybe I just overread it (well, I didn't even read all the comments here since there are simply too much) but is that matrix spoof downloadable as a video file somewhere? I never liked Microsoft very much (though I must say that I admire Billy-boy for what he achieved) but, hey, this thing seems to be pretty cool! :)
Remember the dancing and shouting Steve Ballmer?
Well, anyways, would be nice if you could send me the link (if there's any) by eMail (sschack@ki.tng.de) 'cause I don't know if I'll manage to check back here during the next couple of days... thanks in advance.
I just found the missing scene!!!
...call yourselves a bunch of geeks? It's been hours since the story broke on the front page of /. and still we don't have a torrent link to the movie of the Microsoft matrix spoof? You should all hang your heads in shame. :oP
I am NaN
You think that's -Developers! Developers! Developers!- you're breathing?
You mean it hasn't leaked?
If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
There is nothing more pathetic than seeing middle aged men trying to look cool! In the pictures, you can almost see them fidgeting to get out of those clothes and back into suits.
"And I for one welcome our new insect overlords."
You're going to need a hell of a lot of red pills to combat all the infections.
"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
What you could do is e.g. post a URL that discusses the VMS vs NT differences, rather than continuing to make flat assertions based on your (anonymous) authority...That's what m_pll did (thanks m_pll!), and isn't this interesting, the Win NT magazine article highlights the zillion ways that NT is based on VMS. Some highlights:
- "[the VMS] kernel and Executive subsystems are clear predecessors to NT's"
- "In developing NT, these designers rewrote VMS in C, cleaning up, tuning, tweaking, and adding some new functionality and capabilities as they went...
Nevertheless, the migration of VMS internals to NT was so thorough that within a few weeks of NT's release, Digital engineers noticed the striking similarities."
- "Those similarities could fill a book. In fact, you can read sections of VAX/VMS Internals and Data Structures (Digital Press) as an accurate description of NT internals simply by translating VMS terms to NT terms."
- "NT's processes are virtually the same as VMS's processes."
- "Microsoft added lightweight user-mode threads support to NT 4.0 in 1996, which it copied from the VMS implementation of threads."
- "NT's I/O Manager is closely based on VMS's I/O Manager. Both OS's I/O Manager support a layered-driver model throughout the device driver stacks for different device types and implements asynchronous packet-based I/O commands, and its device drivers dynamically load and unload."
- "As you can see by comparing Figure 2 and Figure 3, page 117, the Executive subsystems exhibit the most significant resemblance between VMS and NT. But many minor similarities exist in which it is clear that Microsoft derived NT's capabilities from VMS."
- "...Therefore, VMS's security implementation is the predecessor to NT's. Microsoft even included systems tools similar to VMS's in NT, including the Performance Monitor, which is based on MONITOR, the extensible VMS performance monitor. VMS included a utility called BACKUP long before Microsoft developed NT's backup utility."
- "...Rather than suing, Digital cut a deal with Microsoft. In the summer of 1995, Digital announced Affinity for OpenVMS, a program that required Microsoft to help train Digital NT technicians, help promote NT and Open-VMS as two pieces of a three-tiered client/server networking solution, and promise to maintain NT support for the Alpha processor. Microsoft also paid Digital between 65 million and 100 million dollars."
So, before I was just asking, not making an assertion. But NOW I will make the assertion: NT is clearly derived from VMS, based on the above facts.
And for this I get slammed by a bunch of anonymous cowards and anonymous supposed NT developers? Give me a break.
All I did before was ask for facts rather than assertions. What I got were some angry but empty words. Rather telling.
Professional Wild-Eyed Visionary
And how exactly would this be a spoof?
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
Who would be the Sally Field character?
It's a tyranny of the majority. Like it or not, Slashdot has a strong pro-Linux, anti-Microsoft (and when the conversation drifts to politics, liberal) bias. Frequently, minority posters get moderated down as "Troll" or "Offtopic" simply because they hold an opposing opinion and the Slashdot Majority want them silenced. Likewise, MS-bashing posts are "Insightful" or "Interesting". Not always, but often enough to be very noticeable. The Slashdot point system primarily rewards popular opinions rather than insight, and the minority posters have seen this repeatly. Hence anonymous posts. It's too bad, because I'm sure some thoughtful pro-Microsoft contributors have been turned off from continuously reading MS-bashing, and have simply walked away or don't read and contribute very often. I know I don't bother anymore. Anonymously yours, A minority poster
Make it a Grape-Flavored Suppository and you would sum up their presentation on Longhorn! Talk about tasting great until the reality sets in.
How the heck is the agent using Linux? If anything Microsoft represents the "system." I guess the guys over in their marketing dept. weren't smart enough to decipher the message of the movie....
Thanks. Now I have an urge to eat onion cake.
There really is such a thing as onion cake. It sounds terrible, but is really quite good.
Specifically, the problem Linus and others had with MINIX was that it didn't support protected memory, virtual memory and pre-emptive multi-tasking. That was a deliberate decision, because MINIX ran on a lot of hardware that simply wasn't capable of protected virtual memory and pre-emptible processes--for example, my 68000-based Atari ST.
That's why some people claim MINIX wasn't a "real UNIX", and it's a stupid claim. There were plenty of real UNIXes back in the day that didn't have protected virtual memory. There was even one hardware platform I forget that used two 68000s in parallel so that they could get around the fact that page faults caused loss of state.
It's also amusing that Linus was also scathing about MINIX's microkernel based design--and now we see more and more stuff leaving the once-monolithic Linux kernel and moving into loadable modules.
I've got to admit that there's really nothing terribly innovative about Linux, in a technical sense. It's the licensing that's the worthy innovation.
GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
"PUNT TO LONGHORN!!"
In Linux, xfree would probably crash leaving you at the command line, or you could ctrl-alt-backspace and stop x intentially. You start x up again, and there you are: not totally hosed. Of course that point is academic, because I have never had Linux lock up that way.
You can't blame Windows for an ATI driver getting stuck in an infinite loop.
But you can blame Linux apparantly for an imaginary "driver error".