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SETI Finally Finds Something

QuatumCrypto writes "SETI@home is a distributed processing client from UC Berkeley that installs on the volunteers' home computers and harnesses their processing power in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence. So far nothing noteworthy has comeout of this massive project... that is until today! One of the volunteers was able to track down his wife's stolen laptop using the IP address that SETI@home client reports back to the server. After getting back the laptop his wife said, 'I always knew that a geek would make a great husband.'"

416 comments

  1. Welcome by suso · · Score: 5, Funny

    SETI@home is a distributed processing client from UC Berkeley that installs on the vounteers' home computers and harnesses their processing power in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence.

    Those of you that are visiting Slashdot for the first time and didn't know that, you might want to stick around (and scroll down) because we're going to explain what a Beowulf Cluster is next.

    1. Re:Welcome by Dr.+Eggman · · Score: 5, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, Beowulf Cluster explains you!

      --
      Demented But Determined.
    2. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      Beowulf is a design for high-performance parallel computing clusters on inexpensive personal computer hardware. Originally developed by Thomas L. Sterling and Donald Becker at NASA, Beowulf systems are now deployed worldwide, chiefly in support of scientific computing.

      A Beowulf cluster is a group of usually identical PC computers running a Free and Open Source Software (FOSS) Unix-like operating system, such as Linux or BSD. They are networked into a small TCP/IP LAN, and have libraries and programs installed which allow processing to be shared among them.

      There is no particular piece of software that defines a cluster as a Beowulf. Commonly used parallel processing libraries include MPI (Message Passing Interface) and PVM (Parallel Virtual Machine). Both of these permit the programmer to divide a task among a group of networked computers, and recollect the results of processing. It is a common misconception that any software will run faster on a Beowulf. The software must be re-written to take advantage of the cluster, and specifically have multiple non-dependent parallel computations involved in its execution.

      The name comes from the main character in the Old English epic Beowulf.

    3. Re:Welcome by Dachannien · · Score: 4, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, Beowulf Cluster explains you!

      And Netcraft confirms it!

    4. Re:Welcome by gardyloo · · Score: 3, Funny

      I, for one, welcome our virginal slashdot, Beowulf-ignorant readers!

    5. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      But it's dying.

    6. Re:Welcome by franksands · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      Wow...someone did explained it. I'm impressed.

    7. Re:Welcome by Peter+Cooper · · Score: 1

      It wouldn't surprise me. Whenever a story comes up about Ruby (which has been mentioned about two trillion times on Slashdot) someone always whines about Slashdot assuming everyone knows what Ruby is and that they don't know.

    8. Re:Welcome by ChunderDownunder · · Score: 5, Funny

      There I was thinking Beowulf was from Dark Ages Scandinavia.

      Never mind, perhaps I'm new here.

    9. Re:Welcome by JoshWurzel · · Score: 1

      No need to be snarky. I see lots of posts every other story wishing that the submitter had included a little summary identifying/explaining the subject of the article. You and I know what SETI is, but not everyone does.

      On the other hand, I'm not sure the same purpose wouldn't be served by a link to SETI's wikipedia webpage.

    10. Re:Welcome by hobo+sapiens · · Score: 5, Funny

      1) explain what a beowulf cluster is
      2) make soviet russia joke
      3) make netcraft reference
      4) ?????
      5) profit!!!



      One too many? You decide!

      --
      blah blah blah
    11. Re:Welcome by SamuelDr · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Thank you!

    12. Re:Welcome by garcia · · Score: 2, Funny

      But the real question is whether or not SETI@Home can find CowboyNeal's BSD box that's serving pages about Stephen King's death.

    13. Re:Welcome by GeffDE · · Score: 4, Insightful

      No, someone copied the Wikipedia entry without citing...

      But then, that's typical slashdot...

      --
      It has been a nervous year, with people beginning to feel like Christian Scientists with appendicitis.
    14. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      In Soviet Russia, Beowulf Cluster explains you! so let's see, that makes the tally... umm...

      funny Soviet Russia jokes: 4 (plus yours = 5) - should hit 6 by 2008-Q2
      unfunny Soviet Russia jokes: 9,744,803,408 - should hit 10 billion by March

      Tell us, how does feel to have made one of the lucky funny ones?

      ...and to everyone else, except the other four lucky folks... you see, in Soviet Russia, Soviet Russia tells e to the twenty-third funny jokes about you.
    15. Re:Welcome by sconeu · · Score: 1, Redundant

      In Korea, only old people use SETI@Home on Beowulf Clusters

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
    16. Re:Welcome by zcsteele · · Score: 1, Redundant

      In Soviet Russia, SETI@Home only uses Beowulf Clusters of old Koreans! ...how many other permutations you guys come up with?

      --
      ...brand new, all over again.
    17. Re:Welcome by Mercano · · Score: 4, Funny

      But does it run Linux?

      --
      #include <signature.h>
    18. Re:Welcome by bobscealy · · Score: 5, Funny

      I, for one, welcome our beowulf explaining overlords.

    19. Re:Welcome by Hooya · · Score: 4, Funny

      now imagine a beowulf cluster of virgins. wait, that's slashdot! ;)

    20. Re:Welcome by Nasheer · · Score: 5, Funny

      All your clusters are belong to us!

      --
      - Please, ignore everything written above.
    21. Re:Welcome by 1u3hr · · Score: 0, Offtopic
      on the vounteers' home computers

      Those of you that are visiting Slashdot for the first time... can see how the editors disdain the fascist idea of "spelling correctly". Spellcheck is for wimps.

    22. Re:Welcome by McFadden · · Score: 5, Funny

      1) explain what a beowulf cluster is
      2) make soviet russia joke
      3) make netcraft reference
      You forgot to mention that this story is clearly a fake, since it makes the outrageous accusation that at some point in time a woman not only found a geek attractive, but also married him.
    23. Re:Welcome by Crazyscottie · · Score: 3, Funny

      I, for one, welcome our SETI-enabled, laptop-stealing, Russian Beowulf Cluster overlords.

      --
      Just because it can't be explained doesn't mean it isn't true. Science fits into reality... not the other way around.
    24. Re:Welcome by xdc · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Where are my mod points when I need them? ;)

    25. Re:Welcome by kd5ujz · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Check the entry again, he did not write it :P

      --
      -William
      God is everything science has yet to explain.
    26. Re:Welcome by Mr.+Bad+Example · · Score: 4, Funny

      > There I was thinking Beowulf was from Dark Ages Scandinavia.

      Hwæt?

    27. Re:Welcome by StrahdVZ · · Score: 3, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, extraterrestrials search for you!

    28. Re:Welcome by neuro.slug · · Score: 2, Informative

      11! = 39916800, that's how many.

    29. Re:Welcome by BOFHelsinki · · Score: 0

      These are networked into a small TCP/IP LAN

      Isn't that often Myrinet or InfiniBand instead, for latency and overhead issues?

    30. Re:Welcome by Frogbert · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      How do you know the wikipedia entry wasn't copied directly from that comment?

    31. Re:Welcome by rahmza · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't understand all these jokes, you insensitive clod!

    32. Re:Welcome by laejoh · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      You mean we don't have to expect a dupe?

    33. Re:Welcome by necro2607 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      You must be new here.

    34. Re:Welcome by iminplaya · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      You read virgins, and you think mod points?? You are an old timer.

      --
      What?
    35. Re:Welcome by dgatwood · · Score: 1, Informative

      Netcraft confirms Wikipedia is dying. :-D

      --

      Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

    36. Re:Welcome by DeadChobi · · Score: 4, Funny

      What's a woman? Is there an ISO standard I can look up somewhere that will tell me what a woman is? I do not understand this concept of attraction. Could somebody please explain it to me?

      --
      SRSLY.
    37. Re:Welcome by charlieman · · Score: 5, Funny

      I for one welcome our new clueless overlords!

    38. Re:Welcome by Rufty · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      4) Natalie Portman + hot grits

      --
      Red to red, black to black. Switch it on, but stand well back.
    39. Re:Welcome by CCFreak2K · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      It's also either:

      A) A dupe.
      B) Going to be a dupe.

      --
      "Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master."
    40. Re:Welcome by NOLFXceptMe · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Typical Slashdot,eh?...no wonder the above gets Score 5 and the one above it 4 :P

    41. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      boinc.bakerlab.org/rosetta/

      www.nanohive-1.org/atHome/

      worldcommunitygrid.org/

    42. Re:Welcome by mrchaotica · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Only old overlords are clueless in Korea!

      --

      "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

    43. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      OMG. I spilled hot grits all over my pants!

    44. Re:Welcome by andrewa · · Score: 1

      Yes, but does it blend? Oh... Wait, that's Digg...

      --
      :(){ :|:& };:
    45. Re:Welcome by gnool · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      I *am* new here you insensitive clod!

    46. Re:Welcome by zCyl · · Score: 4, Funny

      ---Joke--->

          O  <--  You.
        --|--
          |
         / \

      :)

    47. Re:Welcome by Dr.+Jest · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's OK. Here, have a bowl of hot grits. Don't eat it, just put it down your pants.

    48. Re:Welcome by amuzulo · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      A woman is a female human. The term woman (irregular plural: women) usually is used for an adult, with the term girl being the usual term for a female child or adolescent. However, the term woman is also sometimes used to identify a female human, regardless of age, as in phrases such as "Women's rights". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woman

      --
      WikiCreole - a common wiki markup language
    49. Re:Welcome by Arancaytar · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      In Soviet Russia, a Beowulf cluster of Netcrafts imagines you!

      (Triple score!)

    50. Re:Welcome by stupid_is · · Score: 1
      No, but there is a manual

      --
      -- Intelligence is soluble in alcohol
    51. Re:Welcome by troc · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      I was new once and then they stole my naievity

      --
      Troc's dubious podcast and blog: http://www.trocnet.net
    52. Re:Welcome by complete+loony · · Score: 2, Funny

      Oh well, at least it was posted anon. That way there's no karma whoring.

      Still there's still some room for blatantly obvious karma whoring for the people explaining the plagiarism and other follow up meta-comments pointing out the blatant karma whoring. Followed by post that explain how the moderation system works.

      I suppose I should leave some grammatical and spealing errors in this comment to set up someone else for some cheap mod points.

      --
      09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
    53. Re:Welcome by Octopus · · Score: 1

      OMG that's exactly what I learned from watching The Secret!

    54. Re:Welcome by bytesex · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      In Korea, only old people put ??? at number four.

      --
      Religion is what happens when nature strikes and groupthink goes wrong.
    55. Re:Welcome by Elminst · · Score: 0

      There is nothing misspelled in that phrase.
      volunteers' is the possessive form of volunteers
      Otherwise known as plural possessive.
      http://www.meredith.edu/grammar/plural.htm#Possess ive

      The phrase can be rewritten as "home computers belonging to the volunteers"

      Your spelling/grammar nazi badge is hereby revoked.

      --
      No unauthorized use. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
    56. Re:Welcome by 1u3hr · · Score: 1
      There is nothing misspelled in that phrase.

      Duh. I wasn't talking about the apostrophe. The word "volunteers" was rendered "vounteers" -- missing an L. Amusingly, since I posted, it has now been changed, to "voluteers", missing an N.

    57. Re:Welcome by Flodis · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      Misread of the day: "That's OK. Here, have a bowl of hot girls. Don't eat them, just put them in your pants."

    58. Re:Welcome by 1u3hr · · Score: 1
      PS: on rereading, actually, the word is mispelled twice, not corrected at all.

      vounteers' home computers and harnesses their processing power in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence. So far nothing noteworthy has comeout of this massive project... that is until today! One of the voluteers
      Long ago I used to work on a news web site. Single-handed much of the time, I pushed out about 80 articles, several paragraphs long on average, a day. Many were chock-full of errors when I got them. I fixed them. Here they have at least four paid editors, each publishing a half-dozen articles a day at most. I'm amazed how they get away with this.
    59. Re:Welcome by Elminst · · Score: 1

      Doh, my bad.
      Plural possessive is so commonly screwed up, i thought that was what you were referring to.

      I turn in my reading comprehension badge. ;)

      --
      No unauthorized use. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
    60. Re:Welcome by Bearhouse · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Great series - worthy of an FAQ, (OK, nobody would read it) But...where's the sharks & laser one? Operators with mod points are standing by...

    61. Re:Welcome by mindwhip · · Score: 5, Funny

      'Woman' is malware that will take over your hardware and software, reorder your contacts and friends lists, removing any that 'Woman' finds unsuitable then inserts other friends and contacts into your address book that you have no wish to ever deal with. Finally 'woman' takes complete control of your schedule and finances leaving you with no control over your own life.

      'Woman' will also, if left unchecked, upgrade automatically from 'friend 9.2' to 'girlfriend 3.4' and eventually to 'wife 1.0'. If this happens the only way to get rid of 'woman' is via very expensive software... 'divorce 1.0' which will leave you with even less money than when you had 'wife 1.0' problems.

      --
      [The Universe] has gone offline.
    62. Re:Welcome by antoinjapan · · Score: 1, Funny

      In Soviet Russia netcraft denies you are not dying

    63. Re:Welcome by mindwhip · · Score: 1

      No profit for you since you missed out the dig at Microsoft/DRM/SCO/software patents....

      --
      [The Universe] has gone offline.
    64. Re:Welcome by rbanffy · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      I won't try, but I could quickly write a Lisp program that could spit out each one that made sense ;-)

    65. Re:Welcome by digitig · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Not an ISO standard. "Women attracted to male geeks" is fully covered by an RFC: RFC0026.

      --
      Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
    66. Re:Welcome by complete+loony · · Score: 5, Funny

      You appear to be posting a

      ( ) in Soviet Russia
      (x) I for one welcome out new ... overlords
      ( ) imagine a Beowulf cluster
      ( ) Does it run Linux
      ( ) Spam prevention will not work checklist
      (x) You must be new here
      ( ) insensitive clod
      ( ) in Korea only old people
      ( ) Netcraft confirms
      ( ) Stephen King is dead
      ( ) a highly moderated post from the previous duped story
      ( ) gee I've never had that probl%!$*%& [No Carrier]

      post in an attempt to obtain karma. Your attempt will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular post, and it may have other flaws which used to vary from topic to topic.)

      (x) Posts like yours are getting old an tired, and quite frankly we're sick of them
      (x) Your User Id is too high
      ( ) It just isn't funny enough
      (x) Funny mods don't give karma

      Specifically, your post fails to cater to

      ( ) Anything relevant to the story
      (x) Extreme stupidity on the part of moderators
      ( ) Extensive research into the topic

      and the following philosophical objections may also apply:

      ( ) Posts similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever been highly moderated
      ( ) That's a common troll that has never been verified
      (x) You obviously haven't read the article
      (x) You haven't even read the summary
      ( ) Or the headline
      ( ) Killing you that way is not slow and painful enough

      Furthermore, this is what I think about you:

      ( ) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work.
      (x) This is a stupid post, and you're a stupid person for posting it.
      ( ) Nice try, assh0le! I'm going to find out where you live and burn your
      house down!
      --
      09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
    67. Re:Welcome by slashdot.org · · Score: 1, Funny

      all of you must be new here

    68. Re:Welcome by PermanentMarker · · Score: 1

      Just pretend that we had this discussion, and not actualy keep it It will keep us all more happy.

      --
      I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change.
    69. Re:Welcome by EinZweiDrei · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Perfect.

      I declare you undisputed winner of this round of Slashmemes.

      The next round is scheduled for the soonest available 'series of pipes' reference.

      --
      Perhaps life really is full of possibilities.
    70. Re:Welcome by EinZweiDrei · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Oh, shit, I mean 'tubes'.

      Am I... Am I ousted?

      --
      Perhaps life really is full of possibilities.
    71. Re:Welcome by Ingolfke · · Score: 1

      For a minute there I thought that laptop might be following BSD and Gentoo down the path to oblivion.

    72. Re:Welcome by Bastard+of+Subhumani · · Score: 0
      It looks like you're posting to slashdot.

      Would you like help?
      • Get help with trolling
      • Find high karma posts and repeat them
      • Swap all subjects and objects
      .
      --
      Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
    73. Re:Welcome by Bastard+of+Subhumani · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      LISP? Dammit man, if it can't be done 23 different ways in perl it ain't worth doing.
      Oh, and PHP is crap.

      --
      Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
    74. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ruby is an html tag that lets you put ruby characters above or to the right of others in the text flow.

      Or were you thinking of some other ruby?

    75. Re:Welcome by klang · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      one missing:

      I for one welcome our new Beowulf cluster running overlords

    76. Re:Welcome by jimstapleton · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      I thought that things happened backwards in soviet Russia...

      Wouldn't you confirm netcraft? (or rather, BSD's death confirm Netcraft?)

      --
      34486853790
      Connection too slow for X forwarding? Try "ssh -CX user@host"
    77. Re:Welcome by danbert8 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      It pains me to see how many mod points were mercilessly wasted on this pointless article. (pre-emptive strike) In Soviet Russia mod points waste you!

      --
      Yes it's an anecdote! Were you expecting original research in a Slashdot comment?
    78. Re:Welcome by steveo777 · · Score: 0, Offtopic
      11^11= 285,311,670,611

      You forgot this is Slashdot. We can dupe anything.

      --
      This sig isn't original enough, it's time to come up with something witty...
    79. Re:Welcome by charlieman · · Score: 1

      Just wait till the the dolphins with thumbs get here. Oh there's gonna be sharks & lasers...

    80. Re:Welcome by Aqua_boy17 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      how many other permutations you guys come up with?
      About twenty five hectares!
      --
      What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?
    81. Re:Welcome by LarsG · · Score: 1

      Great list. You might consider adding the following:

      ( ) Natalie Portman petrified
      ( ) Hot grits
      ( ) All your base are belong to
      ( ) Obfuscated link to goatse
      ( ) RTFA
      ( ) The link is /.'ed so I'll paste the article
      ( ) Microsoft/patents/DRM/RIAA/MPAA is evil

      --
      If J.K.R wrote Windows: Puteulanus fenestra mortalis!
    82. Re:Welcome by Necronomicode · · Score: 1

      Whatever you do don't tell Chuck Norris he's not on the list :-)

      Or maybe Chuck Norris is so hard he's got the list tattooed on his eyeballs.

    83. Re:Welcome by Res3000 · · Score: 3, Funny

      But... will it run on linux? Or do I need first some wine?

    84. Re:Welcome by FesterDaFelcher · · Score: 1

      Best.... Threadjack.... Evah!

      --
      My user number is prime. Is yours?
    85. Re:Welcome by beady · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'll send you an internet soon detailing our collective response.

    86. Re:Welcome by JensenDied · · Score: 1

      This is /. where we know anything that is done once, is at least repeatable, and double posting isn't that far off

      --

      09:F9:11:02 - 9D:74:E3:5B - D8:41:56:C5 - 63:56:88:C0

    87. Re:Welcome by apostrophesemicolon · · Score: 1

      *sigh* you people..

      Nothing to See Here, Please Move Along!

    88. Re:Welcome by UncleTogie · · Score: 1

      In Soviet Russia, SETI@Home only uses Beowulf Clusters of old Koreans! ...how many other permutations you guys come up with?
      Well, according to Deep Thought, 42.
      --
      Don't tell me to get a life. I'm a gamer; I have LOTS of lives!
    89. Re:Welcome by MagusSlurpy · · Score: 1

      I suppose it's possible that his wife wasn't always a woman. . .

      --
      My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
    90. Re:Welcome by silentounce · · Score: 1

      But how many is that in libraries of congress?

      --
      There are many tongues to talk, and but few heads to think. -Victor Hugo
    91. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How do ye know 'e didn't invent the thing?

    92. Re:Welcome by dgatwood · · Score: 1

      Informative? I was going for funny.... *sigh*

      --

      Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

    93. Re:Welcome by lostboy2 · · Score: 1

      You appear to be posting a...

      Cancel or Allow?
    94. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Maybe it's Slatdosh that's new, and we've all been here forever?

    95. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's OK. Here, have a bowl of hot grits. Don't eat it, just put it down your pants.

      Pants are optional.
    96. Re:Welcome by PriceIke · · Score: 1

      I'll take one.

      --
      It's not a lie. It's the truth with lossy compression.
    97. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Natalie Portman?

    98. Re:Welcome by NeilTheStupidHead · · Score: 1

      Woah, Slashkoan...

      --
      Lose: misplace or fail || Loose: not bound together
    99. Re:Welcome by necro2607 · · Score: 1

      Oh, offtopic? Sorry for trying to add to a joke, or whatever. Jeez.

    100. Re:Welcome by Bloke+down+the+pub · · Score: 1

      I'm sorry for modding you down, but it's not my fault. I'm uatistic.

      --
      It's true I tell you, feller at work's next door neighbour read it in the paper.
    101. Re:Welcome by dunng808 · · Score: 1

      That would be the FreeBSD cluster.

      --

      Gary Dunn
      Open Slate Project

    102. Re:Welcome by shadowbearer · · Score: 1

      (x) Funny mods don't give karma

        Gaining karma on a web forum is worth, well, karma on a web forum.

        Making people laugh is priceless. :)

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
    103. Re:Welcome by kaligraphic · · Score: 1

      Imagine a beowulf cluster of Natalie Portman's pants!

      --
      You are standing in an open server west of a blue house, with a boarded front door. There is an Exchange mailbox here.
    104. Re:Welcome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sometimes I pee in a plant pot!

      It makes me tingly!

    105. Re:Welcome by P.+Niss · · Score: 1
    106. Re:Welcome by shadowbearer · · Score: 1


        Whatever turns you on.

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
    107. Re:Welcome by DiEx-15 · · Score: 1

      I think the mystery of the female species has just been logically explained.

      _____
      "Hey, you people have technology in this rat dropping of a state?" - Muta-Man
      "Yeah! We have this new thing called 'Instant Messaging'. We chisel messages in rocks and then throw them at the person it is for!" - Presidential Candidate Tom Vilsac

    108. Re:Welcome by Andy+Dodd · · Score: 1

      All your mod point are belong to us!

      Well... not anymore...

      --
      retrorocket.o not found, launch anyway?
    109. Re:Welcome by sconeu · · Score: 1

      40 Rods to the Hogshead's worth!

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
    110. Re:Welcome by Dabido · · Score: 1

      'and eventually to 'wife 1.0'. If this happens the only way to get rid of 'woman' is via very expensive software... 'divorce 1.0' which will leave you with even less money than when you had 'wife 1.0' problems.'

      Been there and done that. That's why I've decided if I ever get the urge to get married again, I'm just going to find a woman I hate and buy her a house!

      --
      Sure enough, the cow costume was hanging up next to the superhero outfit and sailors uniform. (S,Spud)
    111. Re:Welcome by ken95357 · · Score: 1

      You forgot something: Beowulf running on BSD is dead as confirmed by NetCrap.

  2. sETi ... by thrillseeker · · Score: 5, Funny

    phone home.

    1. Re:sETi ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      haha, it's almost as if the abbreviation 'ET' from the movie and the 'ET' in seti were somehow related..

      whoo boy.

  3. Does this mean by fredrated · · Score: 5, Funny

    that there is intelligent life on Earth?

    1. Re:Does this mean by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, there is at least one intelligent life form on the planet (me). I can't speak for the 8 billion of you dumbasses, though.

    2. Re:Does this mean by Marcos+Eliziario · · Score: 0

      For sure. This lady's laptop is the first intelligent specimen found around here.

      --
      Your ad could be here!
    3. Re:Does this mean by EvanED · · Score: 5, Funny

      Current estimates are 6.6 billion. Where'd you get 8 from? And who's the dumbass?

    4. Re:Does this mean by VultureMN · · Score: 5, Funny

      Holy crap, he's posting ... FROM THE FUTURE!

    5. Re:Does this mean by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Well, as Bill Watterson observed, "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

      --
      If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
    6. Re:Does this mean by copdk4 · · Score: 2, Interesting

      i dunno, but sure there is an intelligent WIFE..
      totally flattered about her statement on geeks making great husbands :)

    7. Re:Does this mean by eiddam · · Score: 0

      bill watterson always struck me as being a nihilist

    8. Re:Does this mean by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, but it does mean the laptop was abducted by aliens!

    9. Re:Does this mean by KeyboardMonkey · · Score: 1

      No, it means aliens are abducting laptops!

    10. Re:Does this mean by Nasheer · · Score: 1

      Now, if just this statement reached "female websites"...

      --
      - Please, ignore everything written above.
    11. Re:Does this mean by BOFHelsinki · · Score: 0

      I knew it! Aliens among us!

      *dons tinfoil hat*

    12. Re:Does this mean by alexandreracine · · Score: 1

      I can't speak for the 8 billion of you dumbasses, though.
      From where I stand, if dumbasses could fly, this place would be an airport.
      --
      No sig for now.
    13. Re:Does this mean by magarity · · Score: 1

      totally flattered about her statement on geeks making great husbands
       
      Well, how much of a real geek is the husband in question? Does she ever wonder why her laptop is always scorching hot and the battery only lasts an hour or so? There are plenty of clever ways to have a laptop call home in case of theft and running a distributed processing client is not one of them.

    14. Re:Does this mean by JustOK · · Score: 2, Funny

      A future, anyways.

      --
      rewriting history since 2109
    15. Re:Does this mean by Trogre · · Score: 5, Funny

      Perhaps he's including dolphins and mice.

      --
      "Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
    16. Re:Does this mean by owencutajar · · Score: 1

      What makes you think he's only talking about people ?

    17. Re:Does this mean by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So, how's the weather in Boston today?

    18. Re:Does this mean by Vulcann · · Score: 1

      that there is intelligent life on Earth?

      Just the fact that no one has attempted to contact this smoke belching tub of belligerent semi-evolved apes is proof enough that there is intelligent life out there ;-)

    19. Re:Does this mean by Matt+Edd · · Score: 1

      "female websites" - You mean some websites have vaginas? Oh yeah... I've seen them before.

    20. Re:Does this mean by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So long and thanks for all the cheddar cheese Goldfish!

    21. Re:Does this mean by abb3w · · Score: 1

      Where'd you get 8 from?

      Maybe he included all of the voters in Florida, Ohio, and Chicago.

      --
      //Information does not want to be free; it wants to breed.
    22. Re:Does this mean by dgbrownnt · · Score: 0

      I was about to point out that there are a lot more than 1.4 billion mice on the planet, but really, if we're counting transdimensional beings in our census, I would assume we have to account for not counting them in each and every dimension in which they exist. So if, for example, there were 28 billion mice who all exist in 20 dimensions each, we might, therefore, count them as only 1.4 billion mice in our census.

      I have little experience in census counts or transdimensional beings, however.

    23. Re:Does this mean by Valiss · · Score: 1

      John Titor, is that you?!

      --

      -Valiss
    24. Re:Does this mean by Andy+Dodd · · Score: 1

      Don't think that would cut it.

      Add Bergen County, New Jersey and then I'd believe you.

      A New Jersey politician (Brendan Byrne, I believe) once said, "When I die, I want to be buried in Bergen County so I can remain active in politics."

      Hmm, may have been Essex County (which includes Newark) instead, not sure...

      --
      retrorocket.o not found, launch anyway?
  4. The Search by rblancarte · · Score: 1

    So does that mean we have found intelligent life?

    RonB

    --
    It is human nature to take shortcuts in thinking.
    1. Re:The Search by ack154 · · Score: 1

      It seems the opposite actually. Since the guy that stole the laptop was not intelligent enough to turn something like SETI off... he is now minus one stolen laptop.

    2. Re:The Search by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well don't be too hard on him. Seti@Home is some kind of demon; it posessed my computer. After I closed the window, it was still running!

  5. Stop the headline grab-assing please by grumpygrodyguy · · Score: 1, Insightful

    OK no offense, but this is bullshit.

    Stop writing misleading headlines like these just to grap page-views, a lot of us happen to actually care about stuff like SETI and don't appreciate the run-around.

    --
    The government has a defect: it's potentially democratic. Corporations have no defect: they're pure tyrannies. -Chomsky
    1. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Nasarius · · Score: 2, Funny

      Now now, they're just following the pros, who will stoop to the most offensive shit for the sake of cutesy headlines.

      --
      LOAD "SIG",8,1
    2. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by MyLongNickName · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I was about to post a snappy reply, but then I noticed your nick name. With truth in advertising like that, we can't be too surprised with your posts...

      --
      See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
    3. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Shelled · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Since the headline, uncharacteristically, closely mirrors the content of the article I can only surmise your bitterness stems from the line "I always knew that a geek would make a great husband." Cheer up bunky, it could happen to a 'Dotter. Some day. The odds are certainly no worse than finding, say, extraterrestrial life.

    4. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by h4ck7h3p14n37 · · Score: 1

      For the love of God, don't read a newspaper or take a journalism class. Attention grabbing headlines are the norm.

    5. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by ScrewMaster · · Score: 4, Funny

      Stop writing misleading headlines like these just to grap page-views ...

      Ah, I believe you mispelled grep.

      --
      The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
    6. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by joshetc · · Score: 1

      Why is this guy modded down? I personally don't care about extraterrestrial life, obviously some do. Headlines like this are the equivilant of posting that we have a Jessica Alba sex tape in the subject then putting a picture of two tapes fucking and a headshot of Jessica Alba for TFA...

    7. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by NiceRoundNumber · · Score: 1

      it could happen to a 'Dotter. Some day. The odds are certainly no worse than finding, say, extraterrestrial life.

      Hey, maybe we could find the extraterrestrial life and marry it!...

      --
      Diplomacy is the art of letting other people have your way.
    8. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Megajim · · Score: 2, Informative

      After the initial rush-disappointment, I noticed that it must be an official Goofass® headline, given the official Monty-Python-foot icon, which generally denotes time-wasting non-serious ignore-this-if-you're-looking-for-useful-info after-hours filler that is occasionally found on this otherwise quite informative site. Maybe the headline would have been less horrifically offensive if it was in YRO.

    9. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Cheapy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      That was a truthful headline. Something WAS found using SETI@home. If SETI@home had found evidence of intelligent life, the headline would've said so. As if the truth of the headline wasn't enough, the huge foot icon should've been a big indication that it's humorous. Furthermore, you are the exact kind of person who needs this kind of article. Laugh a little bit. Life's short, may as well enjoy it.

      --
      Would you kindly mod me +1 insightful?
    10. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by sxtxixtxcxh · · Score: 0

      well.. i'm not all upset about the headline or anything, however, this is a valid point. As written the headline states that the "Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence Finally Finds Something." What do YOU think that implies?

      --
      for a minute there, i lost myself...
    11. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "am I a bad person?"

      No, you just lack taste & decency.

    12. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That given the much more noticeable "It's funny. Laugh" icon tacked on there, that the search found something that was not Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence.

    13. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by marcello_dl · · Score: 1


      Make contact
      Riding in a spaceship 1984
      Picking up a signal
      Never heard before

      I Wanna be your lover
      I Wanna be your lover
      I Wanna be your lover
      Not just be your friend

      --
      ---- MISSING MISCELLANEOUS DATA SEGMENT --- [sigdash] trolololol
    14. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Chmcginn · · Score: 1

      Here, I was assuming it was the "intelligence" that was left out, and we'd found the ET version of the three stooges.

      --
      Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
    15. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Builder · · Score: 1

      How do I mod you down for having no sense of humour ?

    16. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by LarsG · · Score: 1

      ..and here I was thinking that they dropped "Extra-" and found intelligent life down here.

      --
      If J.K.R wrote Windows: Puteulanus fenestra mortalis!
    17. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by NeuroManson · · Score: 1

      Are you sure he wasn't mispelling "grape"?

      --
      Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
    18. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Tribbin · · Score: 1

      Some of us actually enjoyed being fooled by the title, you sensitive clod!

      --
      If you mod this up, your slashdot background will turn into a beautiful sunset!
    19. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by alexmcmorris · · Score: 1

      Amen!

    20. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by sxtxixtxcxh · · Score: 0

      icons aren't displayed in rss feeds. kthxplzbye

      --
      for a minute there, i lost myself...
    21. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Ungrounded+Lightning · · Score: 1

      "I always knew that a geek would make a great husband." Cheer up bunky, it could happen to a 'Dotter. Some day. The odds are certainly no worse than finding, say, extraterrestrial life.

      Happened to me.

      Pre-slashdot, though. We first met on a netnews group but didn't really hit it off until introduced in person by a friend at a party.

      Still married, too. Despite losing most of the first nest egg in the internet bubble burst.

      --
      Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
    22. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oh, fuck you. This is the funniest thing I read all day. A different headline wouldn't fit the summary. Lighten up, you ass.

    23. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by geekoid · · Score: 1

      The headline was entirely accurate. And it turned out to be funny, so that's fine. It's when it is wrong and doesn't appear anywhere in the article just to grab headlines that they need to stop doing.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    24. Re:Stop the headline grab-assing please by Chmcginn · · Score: 1

      .... Yeah, I don't think I can do anything without the 'S'. Damnit.

      --
      Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
  6. Gah! by StikyPad · · Score: 5, Funny

    I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of voices cheered and were suddenly silenced.

    1. Re:Gah! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Informative

      Oh come on, that's 5-Funny for sure. It's the truth, but definately a 5.

    2. Re:Gah! by davek · · Score: 1, Funny

      MOD PARENT UP

      I'd like to mod slashdot -9 boneheaded for that article title. Jerks.

      --
      6th Street Radio @ddombrowsky
    3. Re:Gah! by BobSutan · · Score: 1, Insightful

      You have no idea how right you are. Whoever let this article's title slip by should be tickled until they puke.

      --
      "On a scale from 1 to 10, people are stupid"
  7. PrisonIQ++++ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    So criminals are intelligent after all, eh?

    1. Re:PrisonIQ++++ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "error: invalid lvalue in increment"

    2. Re:PrisonIQ++++ by SpacePirate20X6 · · Score: 1

      Not this one, apparently.

  8. I'm glad he got his wife's stolen laptop back by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    and the screenplays were intact. Even though all that has not much to do with the SETI project.


    Wait... the laptop came back with 20 "rap songs" which were completely and utterly unintelligible...?

    1. Re:I'm glad he got his wife's stolen laptop back by gardyloo · · Score: 1

      Wait... the laptop came back with 20 "rap songs" which were completely and utterly unintelligible...?

              Ah. A vast improvement over the usual, then.

    2. Re:I'm glad he got his wife's stolen laptop back by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The husband wasn't really a geek. He is really working for the **AA (pick your favorite) and has now seized the laptop as evidence.

  9. solution for everyone else by drDugan · · Score: 4, Interesting

    There is a simple solution for all the MAC and Linux *NIX folks out there.

    Write a small script, I call it "callhome" and a line in your crontab to have it called each hour.

    ~>cat bin/callhome
    #!/bin/bash
    rm -f ~/.locate-laptop
    date > ~/.locate-laptop
    w >> ~/.locate-laptop
    /sbin/ifconfig -a 2>&1 >> ~/.locate-laptop
    /usr/sbin/traceroute -q 1 -nP ICMP 108.169.242.00 2>&1 | head -15 >> ~/.locate-laptop
    scp -q ~/.locate-laptop remote_user@108.169.242.00:~

    ~>grep callhome /etc/crontab
    27 * * * * username /home/username/bin/callhome

    You'll have to set up public key login with no passphrase for the scp
    to work without a password to the remote machine

    1. Re:solution for everyone else by Lorkki · · Score: 1

      You'll have to set up public key login with no passphrase for the scp to work without a password to the remote machine

      Here's hoping that you also keep that remote machine in isolation from the rest of your LAN in case the laptop is actually snatched by a random miscreant.

    2. Re:solution for everyone else by Nasarius · · Score: 1

      You realize that it's trivial to set up a *nix user with no permissions beyond his home directory, right? Or a user with a login shell that's just a logging script.

      --
      LOAD "SIG",8,1
    3. Re:solution for everyone else by rodgster · · Score: 1

      Why not just set the bios password and harddrive password on you laptop (new stuff with the security chip) which would make it of little value to all but 0.00001% of people for anything more than parts?

      And what would stop someone from deleting the disk partitions and installing windows?

      --
      Who will guard the guards?
    4. Re:solution for everyone else by seanadams.com · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Better yet, have it poll a file on your web server which you can use to tell it to activate the built-in camera and send you images of whoever stole your laptop. A command-line utility exists for OSX which can simply dump an image to a file, which you can then simply |mail.

      Hell, activate a keylogger while you're at it, and you'd have no trouble finding out exactly who they are.

    5. Re:solution for everyone else by Perey · · Score: 2, Informative

      It's the difference between protection and recovery. drDugan's callhome (and TFA's use of SETI@home, of course) provides a chance of recovery but reduces protection (they can boot it). Locking down the boot sequence provides pretty solid protection, but your chances of getting it back move closer to nil.

    6. Re:solution for everyone else by joe_bruin · · Score: 1

      scp -q ~/.locate-laptop remote_user@108.169.242.00:~

      Let me get this straight: you have a machine that you're obviously worried about being stolen configured to have passwordless ssh access to your remote machine? May I recommend HTTP instead?

    7. Re:solution for everyone else by laurent420 · · Score: 1

      someone steals your linux laptop. they are either so tech savvy that they know it would be stupid to leave the current OS in tact and format it, or they are computer *nix illiterate, can't figure out this damn linux thing, and install windows over your linux. likely the reason the os was left in tact was that it was a working windows install.

      having said that your script accomplishes little more than the following command would also do if put in your cron.daily wget -O/dev/null http://server/callhome - i would recommend a dyndns domain in case you need to change the server your laptop is calling home to after your laptop has been stolen.

    8. Re:solution for everyone else by Lorkki · · Score: 2, Insightful

      This has precisely what advantage over not letting the thief access any part of your system directly?

    9. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Bios and harddrive passwords will not stop thieves from stealing your computer. They won't know you have set a password until after they have stolen the computer and they certainly won't return it after discovering the problem. Hardware passwords only guarantee that the thieves will turn your laptop into parts. Phoning home gives you some chance of recovering the stolen computer.

    10. Re:solution for everyone else by Nasarius · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Uh...being able to track down your laptop would be the advantage.

      Would it also trigger mindless fear for you if the OP used a CGI script on a web server? The potential security problems there would be slightly greater than the no-input login script.

      --
      LOAD "SIG",8,1
    11. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Uhh. The first thing any idiot thief would do would be install Windows over my GNU/Linux system, not run it happily using a login/pass they don't have until I track her down.

    12. Re:solution for everyone else by Lorkki · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'm thinking more along the lines of a simple and stupid daemon that listens for input and writes it onto the disk. Advantage being that the local end is the only one that has anything to do with the file system, so you have less variables in play.

    13. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Way to overengineer something.

      Just use a web server and query a CGI script or hell, try to query a nonexistent hostname in one of your domains and check named logs. Letting a compromised machine ssh into your server is not so brilliant either. And why traceroute from the stolen machine if you get the IP address anyway?

      Personally, I would probably setup the laptop to ping -c 1 home with a custom payload and passively sniff at home for that particular packet. Otherwise, the HTTP server at home with a CGI script seems most reasonable instead of this wannabe overkill and potential risk.

    14. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What does http://server/callhome do? I pointed my browser to it and I got httpd.apache.com 's site.

      I have never heard of this. I get the Unix stuff for the crond.

    15. Re:solution for everyone else by barfooz · · Score: 1
    16. Re:solution for everyone else by luder · · Score: 1

      Seems mostly useless, considering that the thief would have to be able to login before doing anything relevant with the laptop... I guess most probably he would format the computer and reinstall the os, unless he really wanted to get the data and tried to force his way in (what, 0.1% of the cases?). Even though, I think there is easier ways to get to it than to get past the login prompt...

    17. Re:solution for everyone else by xiang+shui · · Score: 1

      Keep it simple, stupid. If you've got a webserver, setup a cron job so wget queries some specific URL. Or run the dyndns script at boot time. No security risks, no need to write some piece of crazy software.

    18. Re:solution for everyone else by hack++slash · · Score: 1

      What about an internal GPS device? that way when it phones home it tells you exactly where it is.

      --
      To do something right, you often have to roll up your sleeves and get busy.
    19. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      sounds like a good idea, but that got me thinking about this particular instance. It seems that either:
      1) This laptop was not secured (no password to log in), which allowed the thief to use the laptop enough that seti ran enough for enough data to be collected on his/her whereabouts (sure, one ip address is all you need, but i would guess that you need more than one session to convince authorities to act on that data).
      2) This laptop was secure, the owner actually has the seti process active when you're not logged in, and again the thief used the unusable laptop long enough for incriminating data to be collected.

      In case 1... wow, automatic login for a laptop? That must be the same kind of person that stores his company's customer database (SSNs, CC numbers...) on his laptop.

      For case 2, assuming you have some sort of phone-home software installed... I guess you just cross your fingers hoping the thief uses the unusable laptop enough times before clearing the thing off? Further, I imagine the thief would actually have to hook the laptop up via ethernet, unless you configure your laptop to connect to any public wireless access point even though you're not logged in?

    20. Re:solution for everyone else by cas2000 · · Score: 1

      why so complicated? all you need is a cron job that runs "HEAD http://your.server/HERE_I_AM >/dev/null 2>&1", every hour or so.

      alternatively, instead of fetching the non-existing "HERE_I_AM", make it fetch a cgi script which logs everything that's sent to it...then the cron-job can send more details in a POST request if necessary (can't see that anything more than an IP address would be that useful, though).

      then if your laptop gets stolen, grep your apache logs to get the IP address.

    21. Re:solution for everyone else by Assassin+bug · · Score: 1

      Better yet... Enable a guest login on your new Mac and, with the aid of its wireless capabilities and nifty built-in camera, have it send you (running in the background of course) the IP address and snap shots of the user... Probably wouldn't be too difficult.

    22. Re:solution for everyone else by WhatDoIKnow · · Score: 1

      And while you're at it, have it email you any of the thief's credit card numbers it can determine.

      :wq

    23. Re:solution for everyone else by chasingporsches · · Score: 1

      sigh. for the last time.

      MAC = Media Access Control, a.k.a. the hexadecimal string of numbers that identifies a network interface.

      Mac = short for Macintosh.

      i don't go around yelling WINDOWS at you.

    24. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      heh... getting pulled up for cc fraud after that would be interesting..

      prosecutor: so how did you manage to steal Mr X's credit card details, which you then used to buy yourself a new laptop
      you: oh, i had my laptop THAT HE STOLE send me the details.

    25. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're a windows user aren't you?

    26. Re:solution for everyone else by TapeCutter · · Score: 1
      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    27. Re:solution for everyone else by had3z · · Score: 1

      you call THAT simple? :)

    28. Re:solution for everyone else by kernelpanicked · · Score: 1

      You'll have to set up public key login with no passphrase for the scp to work without a password to the remote machine

      And that's where you're semi-good idea goes terribly, terribly wrong. So what you're saying is you now want to give whoever stole your laptop a free pass to go grubbing around in your home network with no password? Brilliant.

      --
      Ubuntu: If at first you don't succeed, blindly slap a sudo in front of it
    29. Re:solution for everyone else by zlogic · · Score: 1

      When someone steals your *NIX laptop, he probably won't be able to launch Firefox ;-)
      Or if he does figure that out then Linux really is easy to use.

    30. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      actually, MAC is Media Access Control

      you are thinking of MAC address.

      -kayditty (slashdot is trying to keep me from posting for some stupid shit like "karma" -- whatever the fuck that even means)

    31. Re:solution for everyone else by crimperman · · Score: 1

      sigh. for the last time


      ah the optimism.
    32. Re:solution for everyone else by Paulrothrock · · Score: 1

      Kinda defeats the point of a laptop, doesn't it?

      --
      I'm in the hole of the broadband donut.
    33. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Kinda defeats the point of a laptop, doesn't it?

      Then lock it to your leg!

    34. Re:solution for everyone else by bigdavex · · Score: 1

      Why not just set the bios password and harddrive password on you laptop (new stuff with the security chip) which would make it of little value to all but 0.00001% of people for anything more than parts?

      That doesn't really do the owner any good, though. The thief probably isn't going to know this until after he steals the computer.
      --
      -Dave
    35. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Except that you can assign specific programs to be executed for a given key. I do this with friends/family to upload files to their web pages without giving them actual usable logins.

    36. Re:solution for everyone else by Prien715 · · Score: 1

      He's talking about his mac. When's the last time you got any laptop built-in camera hardware working on Linux?

      --
      -- Political fascism requires a Fuhrer.
    37. Re:solution for everyone else by shadowbearer · · Score: 1

      Having it transfer information about the laptop's internet connection (IP, DNS, traceroute) to that webserver would be much more useful in locating the thief, and that can be done very quietly, before the login screen comes up with a simple boot script. Images aren't going to be very useful unless they include some recognizable background (or a recognizable face, which isn't very likely unless it's a coworker or neighbor; although having both sets of data would almost ensure a conviction, I'd think (IANAL)).

        Modern laptops with wifi make *not* connecting to the internet a bit harder. I doubt most average laptop thieves have the know-how to disable the onboard wifi from the bios when they boot it up, and even in my small town there are few places I can't find a open wireless connection. I'm on a hilltop in an area with a lot of apartment complexes, and I regularly see over thirty open wans - in a small college town of 10k.

        Just some thoughts...

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
    38. Re:solution for everyone else by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      My friend wrote something like this on his PSP.

  10. In all seriousness though... by user24 · · Score: 4, Informative

    why doesn't someone do a 'phone home' laptop insurance program that provides tracking information just like this? (privacy issues aside (until the first reply to this comment; see below)).

    It could be nicely open sourced, and run via a p2p network to distribute the load for the tracking servers. Obviously a lot of details would have to be worked out to avoid abuse, but it could be as simple as sending an "I'm here" message encrypted with a dedicated private key to the p2p network. The person who wants to track their stolen goods just pops the public key (stored on a CD/usb stick/online, generated on install) into the network and it comes back with the last known location. No?

    1. Re:In all seriousness though... by The+One+and+Only · · Score: 1

      It could be nicely open sourced, and run via a p2p network

      I've seen P2P networks proposed as the solution to everything on Slashdot. Intermittent less-than-1-kilobyte pings carrying a unique user ID are not unmanageable.

      --
      In Repressive Burma, it's not just your connection that dies. slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=314547&cid=20819199
    2. Re:In all seriousness though... by user24 · · Score: 1

      yeah but that's $49.99 (per year!), and if it survives formatting, it probably does that by rootkiting the box to some degree, and "We're sorry, the Computrace LoJack for Laptops self-management site does not support the web browser you are currently using." (firefox 2.0.0.1). icky.

    3. Re:In all seriousness though... by timmarhy · · Score: 1

      i could go you a couple better. 1. make it phone home on every bootup, using a signed ssl cert to authenticate that it is actually your laptop. 2. if your laptop is stolen, be able to report it on a website using a one time password/username given to you at purchase ( a new one is generated everytime you report it stolen) 3. once reported stolen on the laptops next sign in, it enables a gps system on the laptop which can be accessed by you and any other parties you nominate eg. insurance. you should also have the ability to lock the laptop if reported stolen (incase of sensitive data) note: i said this should only be an option, because if you disable the laptop there's a good chance the thief will trash the thing to prevent you tracking him down. 4. ideally this would be all done in an onboard module seperate of the OS, signing in using the phone network. that way they could format the thing and it'd still report as belonging to you. lappy makers should all make this kind of thing standard given how much of peoples lives are stored on laptops. 5. i would love to see this thing epoxied to the case in an ubder hard to reach place so pysical removal would damage the laptop, maybe even use a scheme like an ink bomb, spraying the whole thing with some kind of distrinctive ink that can't be removed and showing it up as stolen in a highly visual way.

      --
      If you mod me down, I will become more powerful than you can imagine....
    4. Re:In all seriousness though... by user24 · · Score: 1

      no, but someone still has to manage it; p2p offers (afaik) the cheapest, most resilient way of doing something like this. If it's not done via p2p and instead involves a central host, who's going to foot the bill for the host, even it is a small bill? Much better to let the users manage the hosting.

    5. Re:In all seriousness though... by AusIV · · Score: 1
      There's a great one already: dyndns.com. It's intended as a means for people with dynamic IP addresses to be able to host websites, but it's a good way to simply register a computer's IP address with a remote server. I have one computer that runs a web-server that actually uses the dyndns address, but every computer I have has it's own dynamic address and updates when the IP changes. If anyone ever steals one of my computers and plugs it into the internet, I can find the IP address and hopefully recover the laptop with the assistance of law enforcement.

      Of course, I'm not to keen on testing this plan, so I also keep locks on my laptops when they're home, or never let them out of my site when I'm out and about, but I think it's a good start.

    6. Re:In all seriousness though... by Woy · · Score: 2, Insightful
      If you dig a bit in that website you'll find your answer:

      Unsupported Browser Detected! We're sorry, the Computrace LoJack for Laptops self-management site does not support the web browser you are currently using. You must use Internet Explorer 5.5 (or later) to access this site.

      Don't expect magic where you can't even see competence.

      --
      "If God created us in his own image we have more than reciprocated." - Voltaire
    7. Re:In all seriousness though... by StikyPad · · Score: 1

      The problem is that such a program would become a victim of its own success. The more people who know of it's existance, the less likely that a thief would connect a laptop to a network (or even allow it to boot up) without first formatting the drive or providing other bootable media.

      A homebrew solution (or hoping that something like seti@home went unnoticed) would be your best bet.

    8. Re:In all seriousness though... by troutinator · · Score: 1

      Some insurance companies do provide this. For instance I have insurance with College Student Insurance and they provide a program called PCPhoneHome (and they provide a Mac version also) which provides a way to help recover your computer in case of theft.

    9. Re:In all seriousness though... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      lol. By 'dig around' you meant 'read the previous and subsequent sentence to the one the OP posted'.

    10. Re:In all seriousness though... by suv4x4 · · Score: 1

      why doesn't someone do a 'phone home' laptop insurance program .... It could be nicely open sourced, and run via a p2p network ... The person who wants to track their stolen goods just pops the public key (stored on a CD/usb stick/online, generated on install) into the network and it comes back with the last known location. No?

      This program has a minor flaw. I format the disk with my live CD and suddenly the whole "tracking" setup goes straight to computer hell.

      It worked in this case since obviously this approach isn't popular AND the thief is dumb. Change just one of these, and you'll have the disk formatted before it had the chance to boot even once.

    11. Re:In all seriousness though... by Chris+Kamel · · Score: 1

      Because the first (barely) intelligent thief who inserts a bootable CD into your laptop and formats it will void your "insurance".

      --
      The following statement is true
      The preceding statement is false
    12. Re:In all seriousness though... by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

      Ideally, this would be a separate piece of hardware, included in every laptop (or maybe other things you don't want to lose?), ideally in such a way that removing it would be prohibitively expensive and easily possible to destroy the laptop if removed. Wire it directly to the GPS and maybe EDGE, and have it silently wake up and broadcast at regular intervals, whether the device is enabled or not, whether the battery is in or not.

      The real trick is preventing this from being abused by people who would like to track your every move. I'll leave that as an exercise to the reader, I don't want to think too hard about whether it's even possible to make it reasonably private. However, I believe some cars already do something like this, and I imagine it's reasonable to hide it in a laptop. At the very least, it would discourage any idiot from just grabbing it and walking off with it -- any idiot can operate a computer, most people off the street won't know how to use a soldering iron, and that's only the first step in actual hardware hacking.

      And unlike software, it's not cheap or easy to just wholesale replace the hardware in a laptop, in case some of it is bugged.

      --
      Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
    13. Re:In all seriousness though... by MMC+Monster · · Score: 1

      Or just install DynDNS on the laptop.

      --
      Help! I'm a slashdot refugee.
    14. Re:In all seriousness though... by j-beda · · Score: 1
      In the "about us" link you find that "LoJack for Laptops" is made by http://www.absolute.com/ and that "Absolute's Computrace software is embedded in the BIOS of computers by global leaders, including Dell, Lenovo, Gateway, HP and Fujitsu, and the Company has reselling partnerships with these OEMs and others, including Apple, Sony and Toshiba."


      A friend of mine recently got a position with Absolute in Vancouver BC, and according to him, one of their biggest uses is in the business world to deactivate/sanitize computer systems rather than recover them. Basically the loss of the equipment for a company is not the biggest worry -- it is the possible compromising of their data. The installed software give some assurance that the stolen laptop has been wiped and that the company's liability for unauthorized access to private data has been minimized.

    15. Re:In all seriousness though... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Boot record and a hidden partition, I imagine. A full wipe of the drive will probably get it, but luckily most thieves are not technically competent.

    16. Re:In all seriousness though... by slashdot.org · · Score: 2, Interesting

      They claim their software will survive a hard drive format, but not sure how... anyone know?

      That's an interesting claim. First of all I would guess they are going with the DOS/Windows definitition of a format. If that's what they are talking about, then yes, it is technically possible because although a format rewrites a partition, it does not change the initial code that gets loaded from the disk, which resides in the MBR (Master Boot Record). The MBR points to the partition that the OS sits on, and you can reformat a partition without touching the MBR. The MBR starts btw on the very first sector on a disk.

      Still, a thief clever enough to format a drive is pretty close to being clever enough to do a "fdisk /mbr" or take out the hard drive entirely of course...

      In any case, it's still hard to believe, because something that loads during the very initial boot time is not something that can just 'phone home'. That is all 16 bit x86 code and will be entirely discarded when Windows loads. So they would have to phone home pre-Windows boot, meaning that now they need drivers for every possible Ethernet adapter, the USB/PCI/Cardbus/whatever bus it's sitting on, a TCP/IP stack etc etc.

      I seriously doubt they can survive a harddrive format (especially when it involves for example a re-install of Windows XP). Their website, although politically correct, does not excude the technical expertise it would take to pull that off. But that's just one opinion...

    17. Re:In all seriousness though... by D'Arque+Bishop · · Score: 1

      They claim their software will survive a hard drive format, but not sure how... anyone know?

      As a previous poster has mentioned, newer laptops by certain manufacturers have a Computrace agent in the BIOS that, once activated, cannot be deactivated/disabled. Once the Computrace software is installed in the machine, it's registered with the BIOS agent. If the hard drive is wiped and the OS reinstalled, the BIOS agent simply silently reinstalls the software. I don't know if it supports Linux (but then, what laptop thief is going to bother with Linux?), but it supports Windows and OS X (not sure how it works there, though).

      Hope this helps...

    18. Re:In all seriousness though... by crimperman · · Score: 1

      why doesn't someone do a 'phone home' laptop insurance program ...


      Isn't that what Genuine Advantage does?

      Oh.. wait, you mean phones your home!
    19. Re:In all seriousness though... by QuantumPion · · Score: 1

      What would be cool is if a motherboard manufacturer would add a bios feature, that works with wake-on-lan, that has a phone-home feature of some sort that is user-configurable. What are the odds that the thief would remove the CMOS battery, in a laptop?

    20. Re:In all seriousness though... by BobPaul · · Score: 1

      They claim their software will survive a hard drive format Can you cite this? I can't find that anywhere on their site...
    21. Re:In all seriousness though... by BobPaul · · Score: 1

      Why P2P?? You're ON slashdot, so you have an ssh server at home, right?

      This is quite simple.
      1) Create a user on your home computer that has a dummy shell, so logged in users can't harm you.
      2) Setup pubkey authorization for said user
      3) On your laptop, put a script in /etc/network/if-up.d/ that connects back to your computer using the key. Options include
        a. ssh -n -R2022:localhost:22 -- allows you to ssh back into the machine when it's online, even if it's behind NAT
        b. echo "$(date) -- $(ifconfig | grep -A1 eth0 | grep inet | cut -d: -f2 | cut -f1 -d\ )" | ssh host 'cat - >> log'
        c. scp a script FROM the server to the local machine and run it
        d. scp a file containing some new information to the server

      c is one of my favorites, as you can change the server script to alter what occurs on your stolen laptop, and you can just have a dummy script sitting there if before your laptop is stolen.

    22. Re:In all seriousness though... by shadowbearer · · Score: 1

      The real trick is preventing this from being abused by people who would like to track your every move. I'll leave that as an exercise to the reader, I don't want to think too hard about whether it's even possible to make it reasonably private.

        A simple icon on the desktop for turning it off and on (password protected with a different password then the user pswd) would be a nice start. After that it's social engineering, if the password protection is strong enough.

        Fixing the social engineering part I'll leave to all the readers ;-)

        The whole discussion about this lacked one thing - some level of assumption of the skill level of the thief (or the unlucky bastard who bought it from one)

        Sigh.

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
    23. Re:In all seriousness though... by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

      A simple icon on the desktop for turning it off and on

      Which defeats the purpose of having it completely separated from the OS. If I turn it off because I don't want them tracking me, how does it automatically get turned back on when it's stolen? If I can do it remotely, how do I trust the company not to?

      --
      Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
  11. Need this capability for stolen ipods by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    There should be some way to install a program on your ipod (or option integrated with iTunes) to track down the ip of your ipod when (that is, if) it syncs with the music store. For devices with wireless point access, perhaps something like dyndns to update reveal the ip of the last wireless gateway it came in contact with...

    On the other hand, I think they now sell small RFID stickers to hide on your laptop/phone/ipod which you can then track nationally...

    1. Re:Need this capability for stolen ipods by Em+Adespoton · · Score: 1

      Actually, this gave me a great idea. Run your own DNS repeater, and log its DNS requests. Nobody but you would have a device configured to use your DNS server, and it is a location vector unlikely to be noticed - more likely to be wiped when someone formats your HD. You get the added benefit of viewing what the person who stole your equipment is doing with it ;)

  12. ouch by GlitchyBits · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sensationalism strikes back ... and it hurts. Anyway, it proves that at least one geek in the entire world (universe ?) had sex that night.

    1. Re:ouch by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 1

      If so, I want my CPU cycles back.

    2. Re:ouch by CortoMaltese · · Score: 2, Funny
      Calm down. Installing SETI@home and having a wife call you a geek don't make you one.

      And if that guy really is a geek, what do you think he was doing the night he got his stolen laptop back? Huh? HUH?!

    3. Re:ouch by BamZyth · · Score: 1

      Maybe he just got the permission to spend the night playing WoW.

  13. I always knew ... by Ralconte · · Score: 1

    Slashdoters worldwide hope that quote gets picked up by the popular press

  14. Agreed - "finally finds something" is harsh by Space+cowboy · · Score: 4, Interesting

    These are some of the greatest questions ever asked - Are we alone ? Is there anyone/anything like us in the rest of the universe ? Would it be possible to communicate with an entirely alien species ?

    Quite apart from the Wow! signal (so I guess they found something after all), there's a world of difference between the Seti@home distributed computer program, and the SETI institute - a collection of individuals who have SETI-capable telescopes . The SETI institute is not at all connected with SETI@home, and it is they who are 'seti', or at least they have the greatest claim, having been 'SETI' for years previously...

    It's not actually hard to make a radio telescope - get a big dish, an LNA (low-noise amplifier for the signal), a microwave receiver, and a PC (windows or linux). Oh, and lots of space for that dish :-) Total cost is ~$2000 if you buy everything. Ebay is your friend regarding getting stuff cheap, though :-) It cost me significantly less than that... So, get searchin!

    Simon.

    --
    Physicists get Hadrons!
    1. Re:Agreed - "finally finds something" is harsh by Patrik_AKA_RedX · · Score: 1

      It's not actually hard to make a radio telescope - get a big dish, an LNA (low-noise amplifier for the signal), a microwave receiver, and a PC (windows or linux). Oh, and lots of space for that dish :-) Total cost is ~$2000 if you buy everything. Ebay is your friend regarding getting stuff cheap, though :-) It cost me significantly less than that... So, get searchin!
      I got really excited about that! But then my gf gave me that oh-no-you-don't look so I guess it's back to stamp collecting I suppose.
  15. From the TFA: by ATAMAH · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "Kimberly's writings were safe, and the thieves didn't appear to have broken into her e-mail or other personal folders."

    How, exactly, do you break into a personal folder? Is double-clicking it called "breaking" in these days? I thought the conventional term was "opening"...

    1. Re:From the TFA: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      um, Windows can encrypt user data. If it was all stored in encrypted directories, than it would be logical unless the attacker can log in he would have trouble getting the data. Considering most criminals couldn't hack a BIOS password, I don't think theres a whole lot to worry about.

    2. Re:From the TFA: by atomic-penguin · · Score: 1

      No, Windows cannot encrypt user data by itself. Simply copy those so-called "encrypted" files to a non-NTFS filesystem, and they are anything but encrypted.

      --
      /^([Ss]ame [Bb]at (time, |channel.)){2}$/
    3. Re:From the TFA: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It depends on the context. If it's "your" computer, double clicking the personal folder is called "opening."
      If it's a computer that's been stolen, then double clicking constitutes "breaking in"

      duh ;-)

    4. Re:From the TFA: by EvanED · · Score: 1

      That's because it decrypts it when you copy because FAT doesn't support encryption, so Windows decrypts it as it copies. It's a feature of NTFS and isn't supported on FAT, but NTFS is a part of Windows and it IS supported there.

      Don't believe me?

      1. Create two new user accounts, user1 and user2. Make user1 an admin, and user2 limited.
      2. Log on as user1. Create a file, c:\user1.txt (assuming C:\ NTFS). Put some known text in it. Encrypt it.
      3. Repeat step 2 with user2 (except save in my documents instead of c:\)
      4. Log on as your normal admin account. Try to open user1.txt and user2.txt. Oh look! You can't!

    5. Re:From the TFA: by AnyoneEB · · Score: 1

      Huh? NTFS encryption is not trivial to break. If a user has a password and uses encryption, then the easiest way to get at the files is probably to guess their password/use a password cracker on the hash.

      --
      Centralization breaks the internet.
    6. Re:From the TFA: by EvanED · · Score: 1

      BTW, the above is XP Pro pre-SP2. (It's a really old laptop I don't really use. Doesn't even have a network connection, which makes it harder to update, and it's just not worth it. In fact, I don't know if there is any third-party software on there since I've reinstalled the OS last.)

      Also, it strikes me that the above isn't a very good test, and the same result could have achieved with just ACLs. If you actually care and for some reason still don't believe me, I'll boot into Linux and see if I can open the files as root with Linux's NTFS drivers.

    7. Re:From the TFA: by atomic-penguin · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'm just going on what Microsoft has documented in the Microsoft Press literature. Filesystem encryption implemented this way is certainly not as foolproof as say something like a PGP encrypted file.

      Here is a perfectly valid example: I copy a Microsoft "encrypted" file from a workstation to a file share which also happens to have NTFS. That file will be encrypted at the workstation, and it will be encrypted on the file server. It will NOT be encrypted over the wire. That may even be okay for some people. But it's certainly not the same thing. The file should be encrypted until I decrypt it. The operating system shouldn't choose that it not be encrypted for a copy or move operation.

      I'm not claiming the encryption is weak or faulty, because I don't know that it is. I feel the way it was implemented is at fault, that's just my opinion.

      --
      /^([Ss]ame [Bb]at (time, |channel.)){2}$/
    8. Re:From the TFA: by necro2607 · · Score: 1

      'How, exactly, do you break into a personal folder? Is double-clicking it called "breaking" in these days?'

      Hey, I wondered the same when I got banned from my high school library when I was browsing the local drive in Netscape by simply entering "file:///" into the address bar... Sorry for being a curious teenage computer geek, I guess...

    9. Re:From the TFA: by hackstraw · · Score: 1

      How, exactly, do you break into a personal folder? Is double-clicking it called "breaking" in these days?

      Well, if the computer had a secure OS like Vista, it probably warned the thief that they were doing something wrong 10-20 times, including double-clicking on a personal folder.

      Just like a EULA, clicking on buttons is a binding contract, so yes, the person did break into a personal folder if they double clicked on it.

    10. Re:From the TFA: by hobbesx · · Score: 1

      Kimberly's writings were safe, and the thieves didn't appear to have broken into her e-mail or other personal folders.

      He's been keeping a very close watch of alt.binaries.girlfriend.

      --
      This rating is Unfair ( ) ( ) Fair (*) Funny
      Sigh... If only. Modding would be so much more fun.
    11. Re:From the TFA: by SuiteSisterMary · · Score: 1

      NTFS Encryption is tied into your Windows NT login. In other words, if you can log into the machine, then you have rights to the files.

      What the encryption is there to prevent is somebody ripping out the hard drive, hooking it up to another computer, and reading it raw, thus bypassing all of the ACLs and what not.

      Here is a perfectly valid example: I copy a Microsoft "encrypted" file from a workstation to a file share which also happens to have NTFS. That file will be encrypted at the workstation, and it will be encrypted on the file server. It will NOT be encrypted over the wire.

      This is what Windows's built-in IPSEC functionality is for.

      --
      Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
  16. That would be NAK Niet No by RobertLTux · · Score: 1

    what kind of nbrainless idiot hooks a laptop to a network connection before checking for LoJack or other checkin utils

    i mean really WHAT WAS THESE MARROONS SMOKING??

    --
    Any person using FTFY or editing my postings agrees to a US$50.00 charge
  17. SETI by edwardpickman · · Score: 1

    Where no thief has gone before.

  18. Good going by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I clicked on my /. bookmark on my Firefox toolbar to glance at the top article before I left my desk. I glanced at the article, closed Firefox, and got up. I did a double take and sat back down and hastily opened Firefox and went to /. again. Thanks guys, now my bum hurts =(

  19. What a crock! by StarvingSE · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maaan! I was reading through that whole summary, excitedly awaiting my chance to welcome our new overlords..... and all they found was a laptop!?!??! What a crock!

    --
    I got nothin'
    1. Re:What a crock! by NiceRoundNumber · · Score: 2, Funny

      I for one welcome our new laptop overlords.

      <ducks>

      --
      Diplomacy is the art of letting other people have your way.
    2. Re:What a crock! by KillerBob · · Score: 1

      Bad news for the aliens if it was an Apple, though... Independance Day is only a few months away :P

      --
      If you believe everything you read, you'd better not read. - Japanese proverb
    3. Re:What a crock! by hackstraw · · Score: 1

      Maaan! I was reading through that whole summary, excitedly awaiting my chance to welcome our new overlords..... and all they found was a laptop!?!??! What a crock!

      I thought I heard somewhere that SETI did also find a satellite that was put into space by humans. From what I remember, it was a big deal because it confirmed that the analysis of the space noise was capable of picking out a real signal.

  20. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Informative

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  21. So seti@home is spyware? by mmell · · Score: 1

    Must remember that next time I'm profiled on AMW . . .

    1. Re:So seti@home is spyware? by 6Yankee · · Score: 1

      So seti@home is spyware?

      And here was me, thinking it's Alienware...

  22. Old News by coreyfro · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Here's what I did for a client. I installed the distributed.net client on all their machines with a different ID per. If one went missing, I just waited until it started posting again.

    One was recovered. I don't know out of how many thefts, but it worked.

    http://stats.distributed.net/participant/psearch.p hp?project_id=5&st=coreyfro

    Some are still posting to this day.

    216264(-1) K6231862@coreyfro.com 13-Feb-2001 08-Feb-2002 361 791
    218871(-1) K3342513@coreyfro.com 31-Jan-2001 20-Jun-2002 506 729
    219222(-1) K4151626@coreyfro.com 29-Jan-2001 18-Jul-2001 171 721
    223856(-2) K5557748@coreyfro.com 08-Feb-2001 02-Jul-2002 510 622
    223908(-2) K2863155@coreyfro.com 29-Jan-2001 21-Oct-2001 266 621
    224051(-2) K3456175@coreyfro.com 20-Jan-2001 31-Dec-2001 346 618
    224360(-2) K4553312@coreyfro.com 22-Jan-2001 10-Jun-2002 505 612
    225611(-3) K6211864@coreyfro.com 27-Mar-2001 09-Aug-2001 136 588
    227645(-5) K8631173@coreyfro.com 17-Aug-2001 30-Jun-2002 318 549

    1. Re:Old News by Software · · Score: 1
      >Some are still posting to this day.

      Hmm, are you in some other universe that is about 5 years behind ours? Last time I checked, it is not 2002 any more.

  23. Question... by KeepQuiet · · Score: 1

    How do you find a computer from its IP address? I would understand MAC address but how do you do it from the IP address?

    1. Re:Question... by amlai · · Score: 1

      IP blocks are assigned to different regions and you can look it up. You can even do it for free using some online locator Tool.

    2. Re:Question... by maxume · · Score: 1

      I think maybe you spoke too soon; the way you are thinking, they found the computer using his Seti@home user name. He looked up the ip address that was communicating using that user name and reported it to the police who then got customer information from the isp and arrested the guy.

      --
      Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
    3. Re:Question... by Firethorn · · Score: 4, Informative

      Simple enough, though it generally requires a warrent.

      All blocks of IP addresses are owned by somebody, mostly ISPs.

      Once you have an IP address, you look up who owns it and you call them. They do their research, looking at things such as DNS records, DHCP assignments, DSLAM logs, etc... They then look up which customer that was, and there you go.

      In a corporate enviroment a simply DNS lookup should give you a computer name, a little more the switchport it's connected to, and a little digging who's logged into it.

      --
      I don't read AC A human right
    4. Re:Question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How would you locate it with a MAC address? Since these are invisible outside of the local subnet they would be useless for finding anything unless you already had a pretty good idea of where it was.

    5. Re:Question... by 8-bitDesigner · · Score: 1

      It's not too difficult, if you think about it. Your IP address (whether dynamic or static) is assigned to you by your ISP. Most IP addresses are dynamic, so they're assigned when you log in, or otherwise connect to the internet. At this point, the ISP has logs of the MAC address of the network interface adaptor that's knocking on its door asking to get online.

      Furthermore, most ISPs have a number of sub-stations to distribute load, and so if you knew which IP address you wanted to track and knew the day and time that the IP addresse was in use, you could simply ask the ISP who would be able to report back to you what kind of computer logged in and from which region they logged in from.

    6. Re:Question... by photomonkey · · Score: 1

      Mod me offtopic/flamebait, but I bet the RIAA/MPAA could tell you exactly how to find a computer based solely on IP address. They probably, for a fee, will even provide rent-a-goons to go fetch.

      --
      Message contains 1 attachment: spam.gif
    7. Re:Question... by gfreeman · · Score: 1

      To get who's logged in, it's a little easier than that if it's a Windows corporate environment and you know a username/password that has domain priviledges.

      Start > Run > \\ipaddress\c$

      Then look in Documents & Settings to see which profile is currently being used.

      --
      Ceci n'est pas un sig.
    8. Re:Question... by Firethorn · · Score: 1

      How do you tell which profile is currently being used if there are two dozen profiles?

      --
      I don't read AC A human right
    9. Re:Question... by gfreeman · · Score: 1

      The one with the most recent NTUSER.DAT

      --
      Ceci n'est pas un sig.
    10. Re:Question... by Firethorn · · Score: 1

      Ah, thankyou. Hadn't thought of that.

      --
      I don't read AC A human right
  24. Nothing noteworthy by whackeroony · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "So far nothing noteworthy has come out of this massive project"

    Dismissed a trend-setting project with just that one line. Of course, it does not matter that SETI@Home showed the power of volunteer computing for the first time, led to new advances in distributed computing, motivated Grid computing and PlanetLab among others and spun off BOINC, an open source project that serves as a base for similar @Home projects.

    But, of course, it no find me any ALIEN!!! Bah,

    1. Re:Nothing noteworthy by Duncan3 · · Score: 1

      Wow, you sure did claim a lot of credit for 40 year old tech in that post.

      At least at distributed.net and Folding@home we never claimed we invented anything ancient.

      --
      - Adam L. Beberg - The Cosm Project - http://www.mithral.com/
  25. This tells us something really important by zakeria · · Score: 0

    aliens don't use GPS (are they dump or what)?

  26. SETI finds... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... unintelligent life on earth.

    1. Re:SETI finds... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not really. If the thief was intelligent then he/she would have wiped it clean before connecting it to the 'net.

  27. What a let down by Joebert · · Score: 4, Funny

    Man, if I ever meet whoever is responsible for that headline, I'm going to burn down your house.
    I haven't felt this let down since I walked in on my dad bangin my mom while wearing a Santa costume on Christmas morning.

    --
    Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
    1. Re:What a let down by ciaran.mchale · · Score: 4, Funny

      I haven't felt this let down since I walked in on my dad bangin my mom while wearing a Santa costume on Christmas morning.
      ELIZA replies: Why were you wearing a Santa costume?
    2. Re:What a let down by Joebert · · Score: 1
      --
      Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
  28. Re:Stop the Princess Lea grab-assing please by noshellswill · · Score: 0, Funny

    Sorry Pal: There's nothing to care about. Night. Always. Out THERE. No Princess Lea and no life, no hope no understanding. No 'people' ---no emotion. Nothing nada nix nyet. No one drop of life. Utter emptiness after 13.7 billion years and nothing to show for it, but a couple weakly bent 4-dim tensor fields and ... us. Better pop that Coors' Lite, pal, cause it's gonna be a long day.

  29. Backups??? by arthurpaliden · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    Only copies of her work was on the laptop. Someone should tell her that is she is not backed up she is fcked up. Oh and off site backups would be best, say a friends house.

    1. Re:Backups??? by 1u3hr · · Score: 1
      TFA is contradictory.

      alarmed that someone could delete the screenplays and novels that his wife, Melinda Kimberly, was writing .... [after it was returned] Kimberly's writings were safe.... "He always backed up all my data
      The first part implies the screenplays on the laptop were the only copies. Then the wife says he "always backed up" her data. So did she have backups or not? Or perhaps just not very recent ones?
    2. Re:Backups??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      RTFA

      It says quite clearly at the end they had backups.

      Side thought... HOLY CRAP! the captcha is bloody hard to read

  30. And you thought by mschuyler · · Score: 1

    Geeks couldn't get laid.

    --
    How about a moderation of -1 pedantic.
    1. Re:And you thought by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah and it only took a miracle.

      We're saved!

    2. Re:And you thought by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Who says he got laid?

      Wife: OMG! You found my laptop! I love you so much!
      Husband: So now will you leave me alone when I'm playing WOW?

      (Since I stole this, I'm posting anonymously)

  31. A good logo for SETI... by Cookie_Monster_Troll · · Score: 3, Funny

    would be Linus sitting in the pumpkin patch. :)

    --
    dum de dum de dum de dum de dum ...
    1. Re:A good logo for SETI... by element-o.p. · · Score: 1

      Am I the only person who thought the parent was referring to a particular open-source developer rather than a cartoon character?

      --
      MCSE? No, sir...I don't do Windows. Yes, I am an idealist. What's your point?
  32. She's in for a shock... by Leuf · · Score: 5, Funny

    I always knew that a geek would make a great husband

    Sure it turned out handy this one freak incident, but wait till there's smoke in the house and he looks back and forth between the plasma screen and the laptop a couple times, finally grabs the laptop and is out the door without so much as a look in her direction.

    Of course, if the laptop started the fire then the choice is much easier

    1. Re:She's in for a shock... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      why then you take the plasma screen of course!

    2. Re:She's in for a shock... by subStance · · Score: 1

      Hey - no one said anything about the laptop being a Dell, okay ?

      --
      Servlet v2.4 container in a single 161KB jar file ? Try Winstone
  33. SETI finds... by Alari · · Score: 1

    SETI finds signs of intelligent life... on Earth!

    --
    I use Windows... like a two dollar wh.. why don't I just go ahead and not finish that sentence.
  34. Re:Stop the Princess Lea grab-assing please by grumpygrodyguy · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Sorry Pal: There's nothing to care about. Night. Always. Out THERE. No Princess Lea and no life, no hope no understanding. No 'people' ---no emotion. Nothing nada nix nyet. No one drop of life. Utter emptiness after 13.7 billion years and nothing to show for it, but a couple weakly bent 4-dim tensor fields and ... us. Better pop that Coors' Lite, pal, cause it's gonna be a long day.

    hahaha, sorry you got modded as flamebait 'cause that's some funny stuff.

    --
    The government has a defect: it's potentially democratic. Corporations have no defect: they're pure tyrannies. -Chomsky
  35. Well.... by EmbeddedJanitor · · Score: 1

    It did help the chick find a reasonably intelligent husband.

    --
    Engineering is the art of compromise.
  36. Re:stupid niggors steal laptops always by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't know why, but reading your comment I couldn't help but picture Ali G reading it with his accent.

  37. Unintelligable RAP by Taimat · · Score: 2, Informative

    "It makes Ludacris look like Pavarotti."

    That's gotta be bad! That line alone was worth reading the article!

    --
    The above comments are not guaranteed to make sense to anyone other than the author...
    1. Re:Unintelligable RAP by An+Onerous+Coward · · Score: 1

      I hope they post the MP3zzzzz. :)

      --

      You want the truthiness? You can't handle the truthiness!

  38. Time to be a spelling nazi by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    s/demon/daemon/

    1. Re:Time to be a spelling nazi by Ziwcam · · Score: 2, Funny

      AC, meet Pun. Pun, meet AC.

  39. I know I'm feeding the trolls, but... by Deitheres · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Yeah, some "stupid niggor" stole it I'm sure.

    Might want to learn to spell before you start insulting others.

    Signed,

    Proud, non "niggor" hating, white guy. Newsflash: white people steal shit too.

    --
    Just like driving a car:
    (D) to go forward
    (R) to go backward

  40. Please - Stop running SETI@HOME - for the Earth! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    If trading in a few light bulbs helps, so too, should reducing the CPU power consumption of the SETI program.

  41. It's a good thing... by Viceroy+Potatohead · · Score: 1

    ...that this wasn't a proper SETI find. The news stations would have had a hard time deciding whether the Anna Nicole Smith stories would need to be shortened. Sleep well, Rupert Murdoch, sleep well.

  42. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  43. SETI@home: the new Hummer by YGingras · · Score: 1, Insightful

    How many gigawatts are wasted on SETI@home? They pretend that computation is free and anything that looks like a funny pattern, they search for it. Most of the patterns don't make sense at all. People crank-up their energy bill just to have their name on some nonsense top-100. Distributed computing is a good thing and giving away your spare cycle is nice but don't think that those cycles are free. If you decide to give your cycles away, please choose a project that does more than just massaging data. SETI is like Hummers, it offers an opportunity to boost your ego by wasting energy.

    1. Re:SETI@home: the new Hummer by mschuyler · · Score: 1

      Given that seti@home runs unattended usually on computers that are on anyway, I suspect the energy and lost productivity wasted on slasdot posts is way higher than the "waste" of seti.

      --
      How about a moderation of -1 pedantic.
    2. Re:SETI@home: the new Hummer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's winter! It's fucking cold. Why not use the electricity on computation, it has the exact same cost as running a heater. You use a watt of electricity and you get a watt of heat. With bonus SETI.

    3. Re:SETI@home: the new Hummer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not if your central heating runs on gas, which is generally cheaper and more efficient than electric heating. Also it is only Winter in the Northern Hemisphere.

    4. Re:SETI@home: the new Hummer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Fun with physics: A processor running at 100% draws more power than a processor running at 0-5%.

  44. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 5, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  45. So the laptop was found, but... by GFree · · Score: 1

    ... does the WIFE run Linux?

  46. Confused by elronxenu · · Score: 0, Troll
    This guy's smart enough to track down his stolen laptop, but not smart enough to backup his wife's precious data?

    1. Re:Confused by PhunkySchtuff · · Score: 2, Interesting
      Four Letters for you, R, T, F and A.

      "I always knew that a geek would make a great husband," she said. "He always backed up all my data, but this topped it all. It became like `Mission: Impossible' for him, looking for hard evidence for the cops to use. ... He's a genius - my hero."

      (emphasis mine)
    2. Re:Confused by 1u3hr · · Score: 1
      Four Letters for you, R, T, F and A.

      Yeah, which doesn't make sense. The first part says how afraid they were the screenplays had been deleted, the second part says "he always made backups". One or the other is bullshit.

    3. Re:Confused by hduff · · Score: 1

      . . . but not smart enough to backup his wife's precious data?

      Please be considerate, since this is a very personal subject. As fellow geeks, we all know he's "backing up" his wife's "precious data" every damn chance he gets.

      [Insert all sophomoric computer/sexual euphemisms here.]

      Wouldn't you if you had the social skliz to have a wife? (Fantasy women do not count in this instance but, hey, enjoy yourself.)

      --
      "I believe in Karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it." : Dogbert
  47. Wife by tr1907 · · Score: 0

    That means a geek had a wife.. Does that mean there is still hope for me.. :P

  48. sEti? by RealGrouchy · · Score: 1

    Unless the laptop was stolen by a diaper-wearing astronaut, I think that what SETI@home found was quite terrestrial.

    - RG>

    --
    Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
  49. Re:That would be NAK Niet No huh by edward2020 · · Score: 1

    Probable pot. Maybe a cig. There are really all kinds of different drugs that can be smoked. May I suggest smoking gold paint (its so much better than just huffing it)(all the kids are doing it).

    --
    Don't worry about the mule, just load the wagon.
  50. Re:Stop the Princess Lea grab-assing please by Viceroy+Potatohead · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    I totally agree --- that was laugh-out-loud funny.

  51. Its obvious! by AnotherUsername · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Ruby is one of the Weapons in Final Fantasy VII! God, what else do I have to explain around here?

    --
    I don't like Linux. This doesn't make me a troll.
    1. Re:Its obvious! by Lane.exe · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      The mechanics of sex, how to talk to women, proper diet and exercise... need I go on?

      --
      IAALS.
  52. The real question is.... by smegged · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Which one of these two has Spice?

    1. Re:The real question is.... by smegged · · Score: 1

      Woops wrong discussion.

  53. For a moment... by shastry · · Score: 1

    I thought they found an empty SLURM bottle floating in deep space.

  54. It's a trap! by Bamafan77 · · Score: 2, Funny

    One of the voluteers was able to track down his wife's stolen laptop using the IP address that SETI@home client reports back to the server.
    It's a trap! The Emporer allowed the IP address to be found. We're flying into a fully armed and operational battlestation! Those defense shields are up! Call off the attack!
  55. It's because we're made out of meat! by Weaselmancer · · Score: 1
    --
    Weaselmancer
    rediculous.
  56. A Clue! by Bob+Cat+-+NYMPHS · · Score: 1

    >But the returned computer contained 20 tracks of rap music with unintelligible lyrics, possibly from the person who stole the computer or bought it on the underground.

    Either a GHETTO NEGRO, or Michael Bolton. The one from 'Office Space', not the one who sucks.

    1. Re:A Clue! by Jyrgen · · Score: 1

      Could those tracks by any chance be discovered by whom they were made? If they're not copyrighted, righteous move would be to distribute them. That could lead to discovery of motive(s) for stealing that particular unit.

  57. Unfortunately... by durin · · Score: 1

    ... no

    --
    Why, yes! I AM new here.
  58. Theif gives self away. by SeaFox · · Score: 1

    'I always knew that a geek would make a great husband.'

    And a lousy thief?

    1. Re:Theif gives self away. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Have you been dropped on your head as a baby?

  59. RTFM by charlieman · · Score: 3, Funny

    man woman

    1. Re:RTFM by clark0r · · Score: 2, Interesting

      but if you're not that way inclined... man touch ;)

    2. Re:RTFM by da5idnetlimit.com · · Score: 2, Funny

      man woe man ?

      That explains it, I guess...

      --
      It takes 40+ muscles to frown, but only four to extend your arm and bitchslap the motherfucker
    3. Re:RTFM by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      Did I do it wrong?  All I got was:
      No manual entry for woman

    4. Re:RTFM by MyOtherUIDis3digits · · Score: 2, Interesting

      man woman

      "Segmentation fault - core dumped"

      What does that mean?

      --
      Ignore anything I said above, I actually agree with everything you believe - mod accordingly.
    5. Re:RTFM by bobbomo · · Score: 1

      Woman. Wo-man. Whoa, man...
      ...She was a thief. You'd better believe. She stole my heart and my cat.

    6. Re:RTFM by da5idnetlimit.com · · Score: 1

      Automated male geek/female slang translator engaged :

      "Segmentation fault - core dumped" => "We're breaking up ! I'm fed up with this load of crap !"

      --
      It takes 40+ muscles to frown, but only four to extend your arm and bitchslap the motherfucker
    7. Re:RTFM by MyOtherUIDis3digits · · Score: 1

      I just figured I got that message because trying to use a logic-based device like a computer to explain a woman is like trying to use a slide rule to tell you the temperature.

      --
      Ignore anything I said above, I actually agree with everything you believe - mod accordingly.
  60. A better solution for everyone else. by chris_sawtell · · Score: 2, Informative

    See the Google cache of "Exactly what the Dr. Ordered"

    http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:Ui0HtwBn6ZAJ:w ww.kyne.com.au/~mark/software/satellite.php+site:w ww.kyne.com.au+mark+satellite&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&i e=UTF-8

    I know the posting is just a oneliner, but it is informative and if everybody used the software it would really increase the recovery rate of stolen Laptops no end. ( Unix based ones anyway )

  61. SETI exists for Linux by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

    SETI@home does provide Linux and OS X binaries, last I checked. Checking again, it seems they've got Windows (probably x32 only), Linux (definitely x86 only), and OSX (universal) binaries for download. Looking deeper, it seems they've finally actually decided to release the source, so you can port it to whatever.

    But I don't think the point of the story is that the guy intentionally setup SETI to call home, but rather that he was panicking over the lost laptop, trying to think of all the possibilities, and happened to remember that SETI tracks IPs. I imagine he'll have a trickier call-home script now that everyone who reads the news knows about SETI.

    Oh, by the way, your script is ridiculously naive, as others have pointed out -- you do NOT want it to require full passwordless ssh; if anything, you want it to use something akin to email -- that is, append only access. Also, if it's intended to be run by an individual user (and not root), then why bother putting it in the global crontab? Especially, why have it be /home/username/bin/callhome instead of ~/bin/callhome? Put it in a per-user crontab, and make the crontab entry be username-agnostic -- it won't take you any more lines of code, really. And do have it try to fetch something over HTTP, as that's allowed pretty much everywhere, whereas SSH isn't.

    I'd probably have it call home every ten minutes or so, using vanilla HTTP or HTTPS. Once I notice it's missing, I'll set a flag on the server, and the client will then delete my SSH and GPG keys (hopefully locking anyone using it out of any of my files there, without actually deleting them), then continue to send more detailed reports, again over some sort of tunnel over HTTP/HTTPS. Optionally, I could also have it attempt to contact the thief, but I think I'd rather try my luck with law enforcement first, as my goal is to get the laptop back, and I'd rather not scare them into destroying it.

    But then, I'm currently down a laptop, looking for a good one, so most of this is moot for me.

    --
    Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
    1. Re:SETI exists for Linux by shadowbearer · · Score: 1

      My ancient 800mhz celeron laptop is slowly dying, so I sympathize ;-)

        I wrote a simple call-home script for that one - for when I used to carry it to work - that basically just gathered system information such as output of ifconfig, recognized DNS servers, a simple traceroute to a known good location (paid for server space) plus odds and ends and dumped it as a text file to aforementioned serverspace.

        Modern laptops with wifi, how hard would it be to have it search for open connections on boot and "check in" with the server thru one of those, before the login screen? I'll be buying a new laptop this summer and modifying the "call home" script is one of priority items on my list (Item #1: remove windows, install kubuntu).

        So I'd be curious about other simple permutations... mine is a simple bash script utilizing ftp, transfers about fifty or sixty kilobytes twice an hour. The ftp password is plaintext in the script, but this is a simple rw to one dir account and any access to it that doesn't match pre-defined IPs is logged and emailed to me, so I can't see a way around that which I wouldn't catch. (Clue me in if you do, I'm still learning this)

        The apartment building I currently live in is not very easy to secure from a physical standpoint without putting a lot of my own money into someone else's property. My tools would not be easy to steal - but a new laptop would... haven't faced the problem yet, but know I will someday ;0

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
  62. Wait a minute... by d474 · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...are we to understand that E.T.'s (who listen to bad rap music) stole this laptop?
    I RTFA, and the police used the IP to locate the laptop, but no one has been arrested. Hmmm...

    MIB: "We'll take over from here."
    Police Man: "But this thug stole a woman's laptop!"

    (MIB puts on dark glasses)

    MIB: "Officer, I'm going to need you to stare into this pen for me for just a second..."

    --
    Authority questions you. Return the favor.
  63. Has the site changed? by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

    From what everyone is telling me, they claim they can survive a hard drive format (yet require no hardware install), and that they don't support Firefox. Their site seems perfectly accessible to me on Firefox, but I can't find any mention of hard drive formatting.

    In any case, the thing that bugs me here is the stupidity of these people. Of the three testimonials, one is not actually about a theft -- just someone who feels so much more secure now that she has LoJack installed (but really couldn't know if it works, seeing as her laptop hasn't been stolen). Another is a guy who stored all of his term papers on his laptop, with no backup, estimating it to be about 4,000 hours of work -- and credits LoJack with his Bachelor's degree.

    I'm sorry, but if you don't know what a backup is, you don't deserve a degree.

    --
    Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
    1. Re:Has the site changed? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You didn't click more did you?

      "All of my term papers were on my computer, and that was about 4,000 hours of work. Within a day of my computer contacting Absolute, my stolen laptop was back in my hands. Not only that, LoJack for Laptops saved me from having to retake a semester of classes! The term papers were still there, and I graduated as scheduled with a Bachelor's degree."

  64. best reply to a first post EVER!!!!! Re:Welcome by zIRtrON · · Score: 1

    dude that's gold....

    suso.org sounds familiar - ssh tutorial ;)

  65. AutoRun? by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

    On Windows, doesn't plugging in an iPod generally involve making it into a removable device? And don't removable devices on Windows generally get AutoRun? Done right, you could even install enough of a rootkit to hide the fact that it is set to autorun.

    It wouldn't be a perfect solution, of course -- but neither is the iTunes approach. Either one becomes irrelevant when I just use Linux to access it as a mass storage device and possibly some open source stuff to access the files.

    And of course, stolen iPods are only a few hundred dollars or so, right? And you have to have all the music on your desktop in iTunes, right? So it's not even close to losing a laptop, for which you may or may not have a backup, but either way is probably going to cost you a couple thousand dollars.

    --
    Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
  66. Still waiting for the Beowulf explination. by Overkill+Nbuta · · Score: 1

    All this talk about Beowulf clusters and i havent seen a discription yet.

    1. Re:Still waiting for the Beowulf explination. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  67. So they finally.. by pakar · · Score: 1

    managed to catch a....

    - Alien with a laptop trying to send a signal to his ship
    - Illegal alien thief with a laptop
    - A stupid thief

    =)

  68. Tsk, noob by SmallFurryCreature · · Score: 3, Funny

    You have her grab the laptop and you grab the plasma screen. Geez. You call yourselve a geek and cannot even figure out this simple puzzel?

    Now if the comment had been "I always knew that a geek would make a great father" then you would have had a point.

    --

    MMO Quests are like orgasms:

    You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.

  69. So... by Briareos · · Score: 1

    ...having your laptop stolen gets you bad rap?

    I KNEW IT! ^_^

    --

    "I'm not anti-anything, I'm anti-everything, it fits better." - Sole

  70. Seti First contact ! by PermanentMarker · · Score: 1

    WOW what an amazingly find, Seti found a PC wow.
    This a big mark in mankinds search in his big question of life.
    No longer we are alone in the universe.
    We dont even have to travel lightyears for this contact.
    As it seams that everywhere we aallready can find Personal Computers.
    I wonder how suddenly they came here, what do they eat (if they eat at all?)
    Do they use oxygen, or is a pure electric life from?.
    Will they be friendly as their invasion continous.
    Or will they make us their slaves in the end.

    Just imagine how long we have searched for this contact to happen..
    Gigagiljons of electric energy have been used by machines using the power grid
    And now it turned out that actualy these machines the so called "PC" are a life form we found.

    Well isnt life amazingly funny

    just for the record it should be mentioned in a next "transgalactic hitch hickers" series.

    --
    I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change.
  71. Right by Per+Abrahamsen · · Score: 1

    Don't try to mess around with us /. readers, none of us have any sense of humor. Just look at what gets moderated Funny here.

  72. SETI is retarded. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    At least by radio. Electromagnetic radiation is far too slow for useful interstellar communication. No intelligent life would bother with it. SETI is totally barking up the wrong tree by analysing random radio astronomy data. They will never find anything by radio, I guarantee it. SETI and SETI@HOME are simply wasting money, resources, energy and time, producing at best some very lacking entertainment.

    I am often irritated by Slashdot's "headline grab-assing" too, but in this case SETI deserves to be ridiculed and the more attention that ridicule draws the better.

    SETI by radio astronomy is completely foolish, think about it.

  73. Geek or Alien? by toetagger1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Ok, which one is more likely:

    SETI finding intelligent life?
    or a GEEK getting married?

    --
    who | grep -i blond | date cd ~; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime; umount; sleep
  74. Slashdot's misleading story titles. by sherriw · · Score: 0, Troll

    I can't be the only one using a live bookmark to view the list of slashdot stories. I'm friggin sick of the the title looking interesting and then the story actually being totally different than the title suggested.

    This is news for nerds. Be precise in your gawd damned titles!! Stop the puns and the witty crap. It's starting to sound like Fox news.:

    "Coming up at 10:00, are apples bad for you? Dum dum dummmm find out on the 10:00 news! ..... Welcome to fox news, are apples bad for you? No! Studies show they really do keep the doctor away! Fool ya!"

    I'm sick of getting fooled into clicking over to /. I'm pretty close to giving up on /. completely. The stories are of such brainless quality lately. What happened to the hardcore science and tech articles we used to get? The truly fascinating stuff? Sheesh. First HowStuffWorks and now this site.

    Stupid. Just Stupid.

    1. Re:Slashdot's misleading story titles. by geekoid · · Score: 1

      "I'm pretty close to giving up on /. "
      OK. Stop reading /. no one cares.

      I like the headlines as long as they're acurate with the story.
      Headlines that have zero relevance in any way to the srticle need to stop.

      Of course, I ahve enough sense to know that if SETI had actually found evidence of an extrasolar signal, slashdot wouldn't be the first reporting source.

      And if slashdot is where you get your information about the world, then stop it.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    2. Re:Slashdot's misleading story titles. by cbacba · · Score: 1

      Gee and I was already to see what new LGM phenomenon (little green men - initial terminology for radio pulsars prior to any understanding of what it might be) was going to be about. That is assuming it wasn't a virus or worm screwing up some poor sap's computer.

      As for Mr Spock and ET, I suspect they are both a single cell fungus - even though Mr Spock is/was far smarter than the late Dr. Spock.

      As for /. - it seems to be an interesting source of information of the obscure type.

  75. And ... by scotbot · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... will no one think of the children?

    Imagine the danger they must be in from these Beowolves!

  76. No, it has to be in the BIOS. by lxt518052 · · Score: 1

    An OS install would most often overwrite the MBR. Your hidden phone-home code would never get a chance to run.

    --
    People who dislike China tend to mention Tiananmen Square a lot, but they always forget the Tank Man is also a Chinese.
  77. Re:Stop the Princess Lea grab-assing please by jthill · · Score: 1

    "Does this mean I don't get the bicycle, Dad?"

    --
    As always, all IMO. Insert "I think" everywhere grammatically possible.
  78. Oblig. Simpsons quote by delinear · · Score: 1

    Dismissed a trend-setting project with just that one line. Of course, it does not matter that SETI@Home showed the power of volunteer computing for the first time, led to new advances in distributed computing, motivated Grid computing and PlanetLab among others and spun off BOINC, an open source project that serves as a base for similar @Home projects.

    "Okay, but what has it done for [us] lately?"

  79. Chuck & the List by norminator · · Score: 2, Funny

    Chuck Norris knows all about the list... he IS the list, and he'll give a roundhouse kick to the face to anyone who repeats the list without permission.

    1. Re:Chuck & the List by Umbrel · · Score: 1
      honest question:

      Where the Chuck Norris jokes came from?

      I don't live in US but I'm used to those jokes by now, however I don't know why the subject is Chuck Norris, did he use to brag and say stupid things or something? was it a speech or a marketing for a movie? I'm just curious about the origin of the jokes.
      --
      Ave Maria
    2. Re:Chuck & the List by KC7JHO · · Score: 1

      google / wiki Chuck Norris ;)

  80. More like... by Dareth · · Score: 1

    1) explain what a beowulf cluster is
    2) make soviet russia joke
    3) make netcraft reference
    4) Accidentally click on huge ass banner ad
    5) Slashdot profits!!!

    --

    I only look human.
    My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
  81. You forgot... by snowwrestler · · Score: 1

    1) explain what a beowulf cluster is
    2) make soviet russia joke
    3) make netcraft reference
    4) ?????
    5) profit!!!

    6) CowboyNeal
    --
    Build a man a fire, he's warm for one night. Set him on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.
  82. SETI == ? by HikingStick · · Score: 2, Funny

    So now SETI also stands for "Search for Egregious Thieving Idiots"

    --
    I use irony whenever I can, but my shirts are still wrinkled...
  83. Wouldn't work by snowwrestler · · Score: 1

    The iPod doesn't actually talk with the music store. It syncs with iTunes, which is what communicates with the Music Store. More specifically it syncs with the iTunes Library, which is separate from the Music Store component. I don't think anything about the iPod is reported to Apple when it's plugged in.

    --
    Build a man a fire, he's warm for one night. Set him on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.
  84. userid's ahem by freaker_TuC · · Score: 1

    Your userid is too high to post things like this, here is some brown soap, go wash your mouth out ;)

    --
    --- I am known for the ones who want to find me on the net. Is that a privacy risk or a privilege? One might wonder..
    1. Re:userid's ahem by Andy+Dodd · · Score: 3, Funny

      So is yours.

      --
      retrorocket.o not found, launch anyway?
    2. Re:userid's ahem by freaker_TuC · · Score: 1

      Yes, my lord, rest my case ;)

      --
      --- I am known for the ones who want to find me on the net. Is that a privacy risk or a privilege? One might wonder..
  85. Yeah, I was disappointed too, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...logic dictated that:

    Statements:

    1) SETI detecting a confirmable extraterrestrial signal is a major news story;
    2) Major news stories will appear on my Gmail RSS feed, because it subscribes to many sources from all over the world, not just the morass of infotainment that is American "news";
    3) This story had not shown up on my Gmail RSS feed before the link to Slashdot.

    Conclusion: TFA probably wasn't referring to an extraterrestrial event.

    Ah well, the in-joke thread was funny.

  86. reply from the general public by tacokill · · Score: 1

    "I know what aliens are. I've seen them in movies. What, in gods name, are you talking about with all that gobbledy-gook? Distributed computing? PlanetLab? Boinc? What the hell are those?"

    That's why it's dismissed.

  87. I suggest by /dev/trash · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    That you cancel your Slashdot account and demand a refund. Oh wait. You get this for free. So um STFU.

  88. Anyone else amazed by the Minneapolis PD? by ToastyKen · · Score: 1

    I'm surprised no one's pointed out how impressive it is that the Minneapolis PD was savvy enough to actually listen to this guy when he sent them IP addresses instead of brush him off.

  89. Why haven't thousands of laptops been recovered by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... by tracking IP addresses requesting Windows Update?

  90. C'mon guys, keep it down! by insanarchist · · Score: 1

    We'd better cool it with the jokes before

  91. Your questions answered by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Are we alone ?
    Yes, even if there are extraterrestrial life forms, since we haven't met any. And you don't put a space before punctuation unless you're barely literate.

    Is there anyone/anything like us in the rest of the universe ?
    No. There isn't even anything "like us" on Earth. If there is intelligent life out there, it will be nothing like us, likely nothing like anything on Earth, and very likely wierder than anything Hollywood can dream up.

    Would it be possible to communicate with an entirely alien species ?
    Yes. I had a Mexican Chihuaua and he understood every word I said.

  92. A good reason to run SETI by pinkstuff · · Score: 1

    Seems like another good reason to install SETI on my girlfriends laptop. What a great idea, 1up for the geeks :).

    p.s. yes I do have a girlfriend before the geek/no girlfriend jokes come out...

  93. you also need the time the IP address was captured by Ungrounded+Lightning · · Score: 1

    Once you have an IP address, you look up who owns it and you call them. They do their research, looking at things such as DNS records, DHCP assignments, DSLAM logs, etc... They then look up which customer that was, and there you go.

    Note that the bad guy may be using a dynamic IP address assigned through DHCP - especially if the new possessor of the laptop is using a dialup ISP, or if somebody just plugs it in at work. If so you also need the time at which the IP address was captured, so the owner of the IP can figure out which of the users who happened to get that IP address was the culprit.

    --
    Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
  94. Not to mention "folding at home" by Ungrounded+Lightning · · Score: 1

    But I guess lifesaving medical research, including drug design, doesn't qualify as "noteworthy". B-(

    --
    Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
  95. Natalie Portman, ? and petrified - naked by MS-06FZ · · Score: 1

    Great list. You might consider adding the following:

    ( ) Natalie Portman petrified What? I thought she was supposed to be naked! She's SUPPOSED to be NAKED!
    --
    ---GEC
    I'm but the humble pupil, seeking to snatch the scratchbuilt pebble from the master's fully articulated hand
  96. Trouble with women? by Duggeek · · Score: 2, Funny

    Here's a little piece I penned recently, hope it lessens your confusion.

    Analogies of women as they apply to OS platforms:

    • The College Freshman
      Clearly insecure, entirely self-absorbed, and oblivious to the world-at-large, this specimen says she will do most anything to please, though when it comes down to it, her inexperience is obvious and you end-up either fighting or breaking it off. The on-again-off-again relationship that ensues is rife with games and torment. Ultimately, you move on to something more mature. (Win9x)

      The Business “Model”
      Brains and beauty, she knows how to get things done. She's professional in all matters, can follow-up on every commitment and is fairly in-touch with the world. On the flip side, she's almost entirely without humor and becomes jaded at the thought of playing any games. She doesn't laugh at your jokes, approaches intimacy like a German Factory Supervisor, and steadily removes all enjoyment from day-to-day life with the same efficiency as when organizing her shoes. (Win2000)

      The Homemaker
      Sweet and approachable, this little cutie aims to please. She's nurturing, kind and anticipates your needs with uncanny consistency. You are lulled into a sense of comfort by the constant attention, unaware that she is fulfilling her own agenda. Unscrupulous elements from her past have corrupted her true intentions, though she would never show it. Sometimes she's gone for hours on end, but always returns saying, “I just had to handle a few things.” She's a bit protective, too. Sometimes she feels more like a Mother than a Significant Other, and sporadically denies you what you want, even when you ask nicely. (WinXP)

      The Hippie Chick
      She's terribly cute, insanely fashionable and always upbeat. It seems she doesn't ever wear the same outfit twice, and can always brighten your day with a song. “Head in the stars and feet on the ground,” is Her Saying, though you eventually believe that it's only half true. Everything is perfect, but a bit too perfect. She never really disagrees with you, but she tends to take your desires too far on occasion. One time, after you said, “You should get some rest,” she ended-up sleeping half the day and dancing all night; keeping you awake. You always wonder if there's something better. (MacOS)

      The College Grad
      A drop-dead gorgeous, head-turning form makes this one outwardly irresistible. If you're brave enough to strike-up a conversation, you will only get the chit-chat at first. After a while, you begin to see that she holds more knowledge that she lets on. Stylish, versatile and attentive to your needs, she seems like Mrs. Right for a long while, and after spending a-bankroll-and-a-half in dating. Her penchant for parties and going-out are merely a facade for her Networking. It seems she's working on her public image night-and-day. When it comes to actually having fun, she claims there's not enough time or that she doesn't know how to play the game. Intimacy is a brief experience in-between making plans or shopping for expensive accessories. She's everything you want, and more than you need. (OS X)

      The Girl Next Door
      Though often outwardly plain, she hides a tremendous beauty within. Her beauty comes right through the rugged good-looks and belies an inner strength, which makes her both reliable and kind. She's not always forthcoming about her problems, but she tends to solve most of them herself. Whatever comes up, she is happy to discuss it and let you in on her past. Ver

    --
    This post © Copyrite Duggeek, all rights reversed.
  97. RC4/5 anyone? by SuperBanana · · Score: 1

    Of course, it does not matter that SETI@Home showed the power of volunteer computing for the first time,

    The RC4/5 challenge predated the SETI stuff by *years*.

  98. Really! I can't believe that none of the lists... by Grog6 · · Score: 1

    mentioned Natalie Portman...or Hot grits...

    Losers...

    --
    Truth isn't Truth - Guliani
  99. Um, IP address? by crashnbur · · Score: 1

    A stolen laptop's IP address wouldn't be the same on a different network. It's MAC address on the other hand, which is attached to the laptop's hardware, shouldn't change.

  100. At least SETI did what it was made for... by garompeta · · Score: 1

    So they found an illegal alien?