Slashdot Mirror
Ellen Feiss Interview
An anonymous reader writes "The Wait is over! Ellen Feiss's interview is up! And she really was on drugs, (well, allergy meds.)" She's, like, going to be traumatized about this forever, like.
← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)
Hell, the server's been slashdotted within minutes of posting! How much more pain can you take?
can type in the article from the 'paper paper', since that will probably be faster than waiting for this server to recover?
four nine eighteen twenty-7 thirty-nine forty-7 fiftyeight sixty-nine seventy-9 eighty-8 one-hundred-and-nine one-twenty
mirrors anyone?
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Seems this interview has already been slashdotted. It was like a server. And then it went beep. beep. beep. And all the webpage was gone. It was a really good server too.
Not a single comment already and the site is /.ed.
That site was, like, kinda totally slashdotted before anyone had posted a reaply, like /penhead
Slashdotted already... *beep beep beep*
Freedom: "I won't!"
the apple of apple's eye: ellen feiss
... well it's a kind of confusing story, but anyway, they wanted me to be in one of their movies, but since they found out how old I was they don't think I can be in one. Supposedly, though, my agent is "floating my image," quote unquote. I don't know what the hell that means.
.... I thought it was the most boring thing. I got shuttled down to New York, and I got VIP seating, and I was like, "Wow, I'm at the Oscars or something," but then I was like, "No, I'm at Macworld." I met Steve Jobs. He called me by my first name -- clever, huh? It was brief.
her pc crashed, she made the switch, and now she's famous. meet the internet's latest it girl.
By Zachary Frechette
Ellen Feiss is a lot like most 15-year-olds, with one notable exception: Some guy in Holland is wearing a T-shirt with her face on it right now. Actually, a lot of people are wearing that shirt with her picture or drinking coffee from a similarly themed mug purchased on one of Ellen's numerous fan sites. After appearing in a "Switch" ad for Apple computer (www.apple.com/switch/ads), Feiss quickly became an Internet celebrity, spawning stories in newspapers from coast to coast and sparking discussion in chat rooms across the world. There was even a look-alike contest held outside Amsterdam, although most of the entrants were men. Some have argued she seems a bit too, um, light-headed in her commercial, but that hasn't stopped Leno and Letterman from trying to book her (actually, it probably helped). As a sophomore in high school, Ellen still isn't quite sure what to make of her 15 minutes, but between meetings with her agent and MTV executives, she took some time to answer questions for Post-.
How did you get involved with the Apple switch campaign in the first place?
It's kind of a funny story. I'm friends with the son of the director, Errol Morris. I'm friends with his son Hamilton. I went with him after school, him and two of my friends. We didn't think we were going to make ads; we were just going to get the free set food. So we go there, and they're like, "We need a couple more people, so I guess the three of you can make ads." So we all made ads, and me and Hamilton's got picked. I had no idea I was going to do it until I got there.
Is the story you told true?
Oh yeah, it's definitely true.
What was the paper about?
It was about Chinatown, and the formation of Chinatowns in America. I lost like three pages of it; it was terrible. It was a really, really good paper.
Did Apple compensate you for the commercial at all?
I'm not actually sure how much I got paid because it was in installments, and the whole contract was dealt with by my parents, so I'm not actually sure. Oh, and I got an iPod. It's like the coolest thing ever.
What was the initial response of your friends and family to the commercial?
They all freaked out. I called my dad while I was at the set because I had to get him to say that he was my guardian and it was OK for me to do it, and he didn't believe me that I was going to do it. So they all freaked out when they found out I got the ad.
Did you get a lot of phone calls after it aired?
Yeah, a lot of old camp friends, actually.
When did you start getting the sense you were becoming a celebrity beyond the commercial itself?
I was on vacation in Arizona this summer, and when I left everything was fine. It was kind of like, "Oh this is cool, I'm in a commercial," but that's it. And so we left. When we get back two weeks later, it's like a bombard, it was so big. I have like 20 messages on the answering machine from different people telling me about this, random people like people who work with my parents and all these other people. I get back and I'm in The New York Times, and I'm in the L.A. Times, and Letterman wants me on his show, Leno wants me on his show. I'm like, "I just got back from vacation!" It's funny because I get back, and the New York Times is like, "Ellen is unreachable for comment because she's supposedly on vacation," and I was like, "How do they even know this?" It was really kind of scary, actually, a little overwhelming at first.
So do you have any interest in doing Leno or Letterman?
I was offered to, but I decided not to because I thought it wouldn't be so much "Who are you, Ellen Feiss?" It would be more like, "Are you a stoner?" blah blah blah. I did get other offers besides that that I'm getting into. MTV wants to talk to me. They're doing a pilot on me. The guy's going to come to my house in two weeks and interview me, and then show it to the CEO of MTV. I got a lot of crazy offers. I thought if I went on Letterman, it would be like I go on Letterman, and then I go on "Regis and Kelly," and then I go on Channel 5 News, and then it would kind of fizzle out pathetically. MTV's a little cooler.
Any idea what the MTV show would be about?
No, he has no idea. He just said he liked the ads and said I was a cute kid.
Do you think this has the potential to jump-start a career in entertainment?
I don't know. I also got a call from the Farrelly Brothers. They were like, "You know we really like your ad," so they wrote down my name or something. I have an agent now. This guy writes me down -- the producer of all the Farrelly brothers movies -- and he's like this kid is whatever whatever, this ad is pretty funny, so he writes my name down and he's trying to get in contact with my agent. Since I didn't have an agent at that point
So have you made a bunch of new friends at school?
No, it isn't that weird. I get a lot of really obvious comments from people like "Did you know that there are mugs with your face on them?" and I'm like, "No I didn't; why don't you tell me about that?" Just comments like that. It's like, "Thanks for telling me about that."
Are you OK with all the Web sites, and people walking around wearing your face on their T-shirts?
Oh, whatever, I think it's kind of funny. These people don't have lives. I don't know, it was kind of bizarre at first. I went to my Web site but I decided not to read any of the comments because I thought it would be too weird. I heard about some of them, though, so I was like, "Weeell, I'm not going to read those."
Did you hear about the look-alike contest in Holland?
I did! I saw the pictures, too. It was really funny.
Did you have a favorite picture?
The toothless old man was hands down the best, but no one actually looked anything like me.
Has Apple tried to contact you since all this happened?
They contacted me to supposedly advise me. They were like, "We don't really want you to take this anywhere," but I decided to get an agent anyway. I went to Macworld in July. It seems like the kind of thing where if you're not in the biz
Do you have a favorite switch ad besides your own?
Probably Hamilton, just because I know him, and I saw him make it. It was so funny. Me and Hamilton have decided that our new nemesis is Jeremiah Cohick. He's our age, and he's trying to steal our limelight! We decided we don't like him. We're out to get him.
Does it bother you at all that some of your fame might be related to your perceived state of sobriety in the commercial?
It doesn't really bother me. I do admit to looking pretty out of it in that commercial -- I think I look horrible. It was after school, but I was the last person to make the commercial, so by the time I made it it was like 10, so I was really tired. The funny thing was, I was on drugs! I was on Benedryl, my allergy medication, so I was really out of it anyway. That's why my eyes were all red, because I have seasonal allergies. But no one believes me.
Do you feel any connection to the Dell dude?
No, none whatsoever. That guy's a doofus. I get a lot of "What if you guys had kids?" And I'm like, "What if we had kids?" Why would you ask that? What a weird question. They'd probably be blond.
Since the server seems to be slashdotted there's not much chance of me educating myself on who she is...
Anyone care to enlighten me?
.: Max Romantschuk
But I just tried to login and my computer went beep beep beep beep and like everything was gone. And I was like, "Duh." And so I had write new HTML but I had to rush so it wasn't as good. And it was a really good website too...
This
It was on the Mac sites first. All the mac people beat you there.
Posted Nov 22 3:20 AM
Keep up or get left behind.
Watch her here: http://www.apple.com/switch/ads/ellenfeiss.html
An anonymous reader writes "The Wait is over! Ellen Feiss's interview is up! And she really was on drugs, (well, allergy meds.)" She's, like, going to be traumatized about this forever, like.
This is Slashdot. Now that the server is down, the wait is just beginning...
Oh wait, it's still (sluggishly) responding. I'll repost it (somewhat) anonymously.
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
...That they weren't real switchers.
I am also amused that they were able to pick people at random from their friends, and say "Tell us a windows PC horror story" and then that somehow equalled a series of TV commercials...
What does that tell you?
Who did what now?
I really think that this is going to be bad for Linux as a whole.
Everybody now is talking about Apple. Sure, It's pretty cool that Macs run Unix, but well, it's not Linux is it?
Geeks are now starting to get Macs, instead of developing for Linux they're playing with all the cool stuff on their mac.
Even Taco has got one! What next, will Linus get one? Will he decide that getting stuff done on his mac is more important than trying to get the next kernel out the door?
Bah. Mac running unix might sound like a good thing, but all we're going to end up with is Apple as the new M$ instead.
I just think it's a really bad thing for the whole Linux community.
-- Hulver's site
For the 234892 of you who will inevitably post 'the server was already slashdotted', the interview was a lot like a standard interview, with questions and answers. Ellen thinks your fascination with her is unhealthy and you should get lives. She doesn't like that she's on your coffee mug. The toothless man in the Feiss look-a-like contest was the funniest. The Dell dude is a doofus. She's friends with the son of Errol Morris and that's how she really got her part. And her ad was filmed at around 10pm and she was on Benadryl, so of course she seems out of it. Also, her really really good paper was about Chinatowns appearing in cities across America. She was asked to appear on Letterman/Leno but declined because she figured her fame would dry up quickly, like going from Leno to Regis to some local public access deal... but she's in talks with MTV and possibly the Farrelly brothers.
That's all from memory and I read it a while ago. Stop complaining about the server being slashdotted or CmdrTaco will come to your house and eat your children.
Like, if you're a brain dead-teen, like, with the linguistic skills of a Klingon, like, and, like, you hit the delete button at the wrong time, like, cause you're thinking about what your girlfriends are gonna wear to school, like, and you write papers on the use of the word like, like, then
maybe you are the typical Mac user, like?
Interesting market demographic....
I'm at work, too...
It *is* hosted on a Mac
It seems others are noticing elen feiss's popularity with the geek crowd.
I was sooo excited to read this, now I'm going through withdrawels... damn /.
Creationists are a lot like zombies. Slow, but powerful and numerous. And they all want to eat our brains.
Here's a Mirror for you!
Sorry, couldn't resist. Can someone post a mirror of the article please? ;)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Friends don't let friends enable ecmascript.
She says "like", like 28 times. I like counted.
The funny thing was, I was on drugs! I was on Benedryl, my allergy medication, so I was really out of it anyway. That's why my eyes were all red, because I have seasonal allergies. But no one believes me.
Mmmhmm.
Look, Ellen, I've done a lot of dope during my day. Bunch. Used to grow it, in fact. And I've taken Benadryl, too.
Not once has Benadryl made people think I'm high. Never. I've taken Benadryl, gone to work, nobody even knew. Weed makes people think I'm high. The bloodshot eyes, the lazy movements, the relaxed jaw and speaking style. Fuck, you're wearing a cotton pullover with a hood. Comfy clothes, man. Comfy clothes are all you care about wearing when you're stoned. Detective Rev. says that you were high as a fucking kite but can't admit it because you'll get in trouble.
Can't blame you, but can't believe you, either.
Because you want a mug with her face on it!
Yeah right! Like, I'm so sure that allergy meds make you totally seem like you just smoked a fat joint. Own up to it already. You were stoned. Besides, confirming you were baked could only IMPROVE your image among your fans :-D .
Move along...nothing to see here.
damnit, now im gonna have to go back to chasing Natalie Portman with a bowl full of grits.
Pay attention now mods, this is an attempt at HUMOR, not a troll, or flamebait, or offtopic. Thank you.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
- I'd Hit It!
- Jailbait
- Jailbait...but I'd hit it!
- She breathed on me and I got so high
- Only if Cowboy Neal hit it first
Vote now, vote often because the results are as dubious as Ellen's sobriety anyway.At least she can laugh about all of the crazy stuff, like dress-up contests. Too many other people would, "like, freak out because that's really, like, wierd."
Ah to be 15, ignorant, naive, on Benadryl, and an instant celebrity.
stop, like, using the word like? It's so, like, so 1980s.
I just find it odd. It's not like she's the only one of her species, is she? If I got filmed for an ad and looked like a fool in it I could understand if people laughed a bit, but this is just excessive. Can't people find something better to do? If I was in her place I think by now I'd be wishing to hide somewhere until people forgot about it.
According to Ellen in the interview:
It's kind of a funny story. I'm friends with the son of the director, Errol Morris. I'm friends with his son Hamilton. I went with him after school, him and two of my friends. We didn't think we were going to make ads; we were just going to get the free set food. So we go there, and they're like, "We need a couple more people, so I guess the three of you can make ads." So we all made ads, and me and Hamilton's got picked. I had no idea I was going to do it until I got there.
According to Ellen at Apple's site:
I'm writing to share a tragic little story.
My Dad has a PC that my sister and I used to use for our homework assignments. One night, I was writing a paper on it, when all of a sudden it went berserk, the screen started flashing, and the whole paper just disappeared. All of it. And it was a good paper! I had to cram and rewrite it really quickly. Needless to say, my rushed paper wasn't nearly as good, and I blame that PC for the grade I got.
I'm happy to report that my sister and I now share an Apple PowerBook. It's a lot nicer to work on than my dad's PC was, it hasn't let me down once, and my grades have all been really good.
Thanks, Apple.
Ellen Feiss
So which was it - an email to Apple, or a hookup with the director's son?
"Oh, whatever, I think it's kind of funny. These people don't have lives..."
What's that sound? Ah yes, the sound of 1000 slashdotters being stabbed through the heart.
Well, at least Natalie Portman still loves you.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
Are you OK with all the Web sites, and people walking around wearing your face on their T-shirts?
Oh, whatever, I think it's kind of funny. These people don't have lives.
That's it, I'm taking this T-shirt off. And you can have my mug back.
I was quite puzzled as well and came to the same conclusion....
I just can't get into the swing of the whole "Ellen Feiss" thing. I've invested WAAAY too much time, money, and effort into the "Natalie Portman/Hot Grits" movement to switch now.
Natalie Portman Forever!!! (*waves pennant feebly*)
BlackBolt
Don't pat yourself on the back yet, the reason it went down so fast was because it's an NT server. Look at the .asp!
I'm sorry but the whole Apple / counter-culture / cult of personality thing is weird, paradoxical, and dysfunctional. Weird because any shitstain of a marketing event brings out the droves in a hive-mind fervor not seen since the Cultural Revolution (1970's China). Paradoxical because it is paid for and driven by self-interested advertising and technology millionaires that present an image that the company is driven by anything but. And dysfunctional because it continues the cycle of keeping people who would otherwise use free technologies spending away, year after year, and now attempts to suck even Grandma and Aunt Bee into the fold. In short (and I say this a bit tounge-in-cheek), it seems the Apple community has no class consciousness.
GetTheJob.com : Nothing but Real Jobs.
What does that tell you?
That everyone hates their PC?
She's, like, going to be traumatized about this forever, like.
Hey! I will *not* have you ridiculing my future wife!
For that matter, the following are also off-limits:
Natalie Portman
Jena Malone
Leelee Sobieski
Amy Smart
I will update this list as I see fit. Thank you for your kindness.
Emacs: for people who just never know when to
Any idea what the MTV show would be about?
No, he has no idea. He just said he liked the ads and said I was a cute kid.
Porn.
(As soon as she reaches the age of consent..)
as slashdotted as it would seem they have specifically restricted the number of possible accesses.
I've always see the slashdot effect as literally bringing a system to its knees, here we're just being turned away at the door.
A bummer...
SIG: HUP
She says she lost 3 pages of her paper. Word autosaves every 10 minutes by default. I know when I was her age, I would sure as hell not be writing a page every 3 minutes. Perhaps she should have used vi or emacs and had the temp file always saved. I haven't tried OS X, but previous Mac OS implementations have had apps crash often enough (I administered 70 of them a few jobs ago).
What's Linux' "switch" campaign going to be? RMS talking about the wonders of Open Source while John Lenin's (sic) "Imagine" plays in the background?
--
"You can lead a yak to water, but you can't teach an old dog to make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke" - Opus Penguin
Brown Daily: Good morning Ellen.
Ellen Feiss: yo mannnn...
BD: How was your time working with Apple?
EF: Do you.. like.. have any crack?
BD: umm..
EF: Apple gave me crack.. it was.. like.. really good crack.
BD: Let's talk about your upbringing.
EF: It was.. like.. gone..
BD: Your upbringing was "gone"?
EF: nooooo.. the crack at Apple.. it was like.. really good crack..
BD: OK, well then let's talk about Apple. Did you meet Steve Jobs?
EF: It was really.. good crack.
[the above story is fictional..]
Trolling is a art,
Cocksmoocher.
The screen going beserk and flashing is typical of some GOOD SHIT MAN!
I quote from the interview:
""We need a couple more people, so I guess the three of you can make ads." So we all made ads, and me and Hamilton's got picked. I had no idea I was going to do it until I got there."
So I get the impression from this that the ad was made up. Didn't the majority of y'all just finish trashing Microsoft for doing that a few weeks ago?
I want a new quote. One that won't spill. One that don't cost too much. Or come in a pill.
Give me that Janie Porche anyday.
word.
I mean, she seems to take this rather well. Were I a 15 year old girl who just wandered onto a set and told a story, and then discovered that there were thousands of rabid slashdotters drooling over me, Natalie Portman, and hot grits... Well maybe that Benadryll might start to come in handy.
I hope she gets an acting career. When everyone forgets this is where she started, it will be fun to burst the bubble of some fan boy. (Sort of like Alanis Morissette and "You Can't Do That On Television")
-- I am become sig, destroyer of posts.
What about the poor slashdotted server? I think there's a whole consulting industry built up now for dealing with slashdot victims.
PA said it best about these stupid people and their stupid commercials.
This is my sig. Its pathetic.
You know when you've become a geek icon when you've become a reference in Fox Trot
I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.
First off, your precious slashdot isn't the only site on earth to link to the Brown University school newspaper for this article, and it's certainly not the first. Even Wired beat you to the punch. Don't be so quick to assume that the 403 you see has anything to do with you.
Secondly, I see by the intellectual level of commentary here that, as usual, you are all a bunch of retards. Between people repurposing quotes from an advertisement made months ago, and people claiming that Ellen is "lying" about whether or not she was using pot at the time of filming, I can't help but wonder WHY THE FUCK YOU ALL AREN'T DOING SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE, like, say, WORKING right now. Oh yeah, I forgot, it's slashdot. Fucking hell. Don't you all have stuffed penguins to fuck or something?
- Eat it.
It's fun to joke about marijuana use, but the joke may be on you if you ever try to get a nice job some day.
I have an on-site interview with a top defense contractor here in the U.S. in two weeks, and it concludes with a comprehensive drug test. If I was a user of marijuana (and I have never tried the stuff), I would most definitely fail the test, even if trying some method of flushing the drugs out of my system.
It may seem cruel to any drug users here, but the bottom line is that no one trusts a druggie. Glazed-over, bloodshot eyes are not the kind of things that the United States government reps want to start into while signing a $5 billion contract for a new anti-missile defense system.
I'm a lucky guy in that I have been able to withstand peer pressure and remain drug-free.
If you celebrate Xmas, befriend me (538
If you're wondering why the Brown Daily Herald (student paper of Brown Univ.) got the scoop on the first Feiss interview, the reason is that someone on its staff was apparently an ex-classmate of hers. She has avoided the media, by her own choice and at Apple's request (they are trying to downplay the pot thing) but she figured that a college newspaper would be sufficiently "under the radar."
(see also the Wired Article...)
Mirror here Oh, and YOU'RE WELCOME (sorry, computer guy joke)
"We didn't think we were going to make ads; we were just going to get the free set food."
Sounds like someone had a hit of the munchies...
"I got shuttled down to New York, and I got VIP seating, and I was like, "Wow, I'm at the Oscars or something," but then I was like, "No, I'm at Macworld.""
:-)
"I also got a call from the Farrelly Brothers. They were like, "You know we really like your ad," so they wrote down my name or something."
"Supposedly, though, my agent is "floating my image," quote unquote. I don't know what the hell that means."
Kids...
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
When Apple asked Ellen "What do you like? FreeBSD?" Ellen though they said "What do you like? Freebasing?" and hired her on the spot.
Trolling is a art,
.. for calling the 'switch' ads typical corporate 'testimonials' from paid users?
>>
Did Apple compensate you for the commercial at all?
I'm not actually sure how much I got paid because it was in installments, and the whole contract was dealt with by my parents, so I'm not actually sure. Oh, and I got an iPod. It's like the coolest thing ever.
>>
I'm sure MSFT wouldn't have to look hard for 'testimonials' for a few bucks and a free xbox, either.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
I know i posted this before - i fink i am gonna post this everytime, ellenFeiss is talked about on /. - shes not purty dammit - trust me - i'm one of those rare geeks. Anyway here goes
Check this out (only for adults) Shes nude here
Please...please dont slashdot the server (:
"Area girl friends with TV director's son, gets part in ad!"
Does this sound like an Onion article?
There are a thousand forms of subversion, but few can equal the convenience and immediacy of a cream pie -Noel Godin
It's one thing to dupe your parents, but if this chick thinks we are going to believe shes not a stoner, she must be on dope. Just check out the photo. http://primeous.homestead.com/files/bondgirl2.jpg
Classic parodies of Ellen Feiss
I'd like to point something out.
The normal adult human male (as shown by psychological studies) finds females to be in their _peak_ of attractiveness from the ages of 14 to 24. This is normal human sexuality for adult males to be attracted to teenage girls - males find teens more attractive than 30somethings.
The condition by the name of "Paedophillia" means being primarily attracted to pre-puberlessant children. This means under 12s; pre-puberlessants. A normal human male of any age is going to be capable of finding a 14 year old girl (and perhaps younger) both physically and mentally attractive.
It was considered in 19th century England that no normal woman could enjoy / want sex, and any one that did was perverted and immoral. Victorian England had great negative associations with sexuality in general. In the paedophile-hysteria of the last decade and half, people in English-speaking countries have falsely come to associate any attraction to under-18s as being 'sick'. If this is so, then just about everybody is sick. Of course, an inidividual's sexuality sits on a spectrum in regards to age just as it does to hetro/homosexuality, but more 40year old guys are going to be able to find this 15 year old Ellen Feiss attractive than ones who are not.
What I think is morally suspect is the righteous spouting from people who don't bother to carefully consider the truthfulness in their view of the world....
And now I've seen the ad, I'm still completely non-plussed!
She's just a student, talking to camera. Admittedly, she's not bad looking. And she may reinforce a few of our stereotypes of Americans*. But really, what's all the fuss about?
(* This isn't ignorant prejudice, BTW - I've just got back from two weeks in California, so I know the stereotypes are true :)
Ceterum censeo subscriptionem esse delendam.
The Ad they are showing with her now is NOT the orginal ad. Does anyone have a copy of it from a couple of months ago to compare? I swear that the pauses and overall "dead" look has been severly edited since it became so famous.
ghuy'. You dishonor me?!? I will drink the blood from your carcass insolent fool.
http://www.kli.org/tlh/newwords.html
Fact: Ellen Feiss is dying
We should all keep in mind this simple truth: Ellen Feiss is dying.
You don't need to be Kreskin to predict Ellen Feiss's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Ellen Feiss faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Ellen Feiss because Ellen Feiss is dying. Things are looking very bad for Ellen Feiss. As many of us are already aware, Ellen Feiss continues to lose brain matter. Open track marks gush a river of blood.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Famed Apple executive Steve Jobs states that there are 7000 "Ellen Feiss" fan sites on the internet. How many fan sites to Yo-Yo Ma there? Let's see. The number of Ellen Feiss versus Yo-Yo Ma posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 Yo-Yo Ma visitors. Hamilton Morris posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of Yo-Yo Ma posts. Therefore there are about 700 stories about Hamilton Morris. A recent article put DJ Qbert at about 80 percent of the scratch music market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 Hamilton Morris follower. This is consistent with the number of DJ Qbert Usenet posts. Due to the troubles of Ellen Feiss, abysmal results on her hair analysis tests and so on, Jentry Poss is nowhere to be found . Now Gautam Godse is also dead,his corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that Ellen Feiss has steadily declined in internet fan sites. Ellen Feiss is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Ellen Feiss is to survive at all it will be among stoners, hobbyists, dabblers, and dilettantes. Ellen Feiss continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Ellen Feiss is dead
Fact: Ellen Feiss is dying
Trolling is a art,
Their P.R. department would've made that page - I wouldn't be surprised one bit if Ellen Feiss doesn't even know it exists.
You can bet they never knew she'd become famous enough for the real story to come out when they put that up though.
Wow - your ignorance grows with every word you type - please continue!
"Dude, you're getting a BOY!"
Karma: Chevy Kavalierma.
Neither. It wouldn't get past the power switch.
"So on one hand, honey is an amazingly sophisticated and efficient food source. On the other hand it's bee backwash."
Cant see the links but I would love to comment!
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.
Sure win2K and XP are more stable, but after tons of install/uninstalls of apps and programs the thing starts to seriously slow down and munge itself. Since 95 I've had windows corrupt it's own dll's atleast 2x a year on all the systems. This isn't even counting production boxes at work that have mysteriously killed IIS dll's.
The thought of having to tech support my Son's computer is beginning to make me throw up. He already has a skill for crashing win2K and XP by pressing down on a half dozen keys for a minute. Toddlers and young children don't know that microsoft didn't design the keyboard as a ladder or piano. All they know is when I push down on all the keys with my palm, the box makes lots of funny noises. I've seen young children bang on mac keyboards without causing it to lock up hard. Sure the ads are stupid, but many people consider themselves computer challenged. If buying a mac means I don't have to re-install windows on my Son's box 5x times a year, I'm there. I rather not waste 4 hours per install, when I could be doing other things more fun.
Never talk about a $50,000+ job on a blog where 75% of members are unemployed. :)
Yeah?? Well fuck you too buddy! I like my drugs and I don't trust your shitty military OK! I've worked for those people and they're money grabbing scum. They don't care about the cost of anything or their salaries, "business trips" cos' it's all payed for by good ol' Joe Taxpayer. They'd sell guns to babies and anthrax to Iraq... hey... they sactually did that one....
You're not lucky cos' you stayed drug free. You're LUCKY if you made your own mind up. So did I.... and I like drugs.... and I trust stoners. They've usually thought about stuff far harder than your average pleb. They have to. It's easier than moving....
because you will never be able to run Mac OS on your x86 box, and Linux/BSD will be the only way to bring UNIXy goodness to those machines. Working on Mac command lines makes people more familiar with tcsh/bash, so people who start Linux from Mac OS X won't NEED as much handholding.
So Benadryl gives you the munchies?
Roving Web-Teleoperated Robot
I find it really, really pathetic that people are obsessing about a person in a commercial. JEsus, fetishizing commercials? For a group of people that are anti-big company, anti-commercial softweare, it's pretty damn hypocritical that a person who shows up in a fucking corporate commercial is being obsessed over. It's a commercial. Ignore it. Get on with your lives. Jesus, talk about commercialism gone rampant. Geeks hate commercialsm from big company X, but eat it up if it's from big company Y. That's like saying "I hate those nasty, big, soul-killing companies like Wal-Mart. But have you seent hat new K-Mart ad? It's so cool!"
Can we please get a slashdot interview with her, so we can ask some questions????
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true." - Homer Simpson
What is it all nerds, geeks, dwarfs, and the like see in her? She's annoying, not hot, and well... wait... she uses a comupter? Makes sense.
If Apple ever has 90% market share -- hell, if Apple ever has 50% market share -- you'll have something to worry about.
Yes, and that thing is the apocalypse.
"And the Lamb clicked on the seventh seal, and it just went beep, beep, beep..."
Don't worry, you just saved another guy's job (by getting yourself fired yourself...)
like, really.
There must be nothing scarier than being stalked by the Mac community ...
Go vaguely scottish
"Dude, your getting a gel!"
Personally I think Momoko Kokikuchi is much cuter!
Right.
Who?
-- Note: If you don't agree with me, don't bother replying. I won't read it.
but what about Janie Porche?
l
http://www.apple.com/switch/ads/janieporche.htm
Funny in a sad way as well.
I'll take the stoner teen, thanks.
How much does slashdot get from Apple ? :)
Did Apple compensate you for the commercial at all? I'm not actually sure how much I got paid because it was in installments, and the whole contract was dealt with by my parents, so I'm not actually sure. Oh, and I got an iPod. It's like the coolest thing ever. Reminds me of billg once in an interview, saying he didn't started up ms for the money, just for the fun of it ...
Yeah, rrrrrrright.
Guys. If you're going to be a lam0, and stalk a switcher, Ellen is a dead end. And, too young for even the high-schoolers among you.
Instead, I recommend Janie Porche. She's literate and smiles. A lot. Much easier to deal with, in the long run. Trust me on this one.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. (Einstein)
that she was high.
I'm friends with the son of the director, Errol Morris. I'm friends with his son Hamilton. I went with him after school, him and two of my friends.
Translation: Errol's son Hamilton, Ellen, and two other friends just scored some chronic and had burned a fatty after school.
We didn't think we were going to make ads; we were just going to get the free set food.
Uh huh.
Free food.
At 10 p.m.
So we go there, and they're like, "We need a couple more people, so I guess the three of you can make ads." So we all made ads, and me and Hamilton's got picked. I had no idea I was going to do it until I got there.
Translation: They were stoned and had no idea anything was happening at the studio except the buffet.
Dude.
Just when you'd seen enough of Natalie Portman and Heidi Wall...
N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
I am rather interested to know what thousands of people are so obsessed by Ellen Feis when all she did was pretty much act like a stupid teenager with a computer. Maybe its just me, but acting like an ignorent teen with a computer who says 'like' and is pretty much completely average overall (according to her performance) is not really something I aspire to. Is there some detail I am missing. I don't watch TV (but have seen the ad online), and this looked like standard 'stupid advertisement' with some decent writing. Honestly, the way people are obsessed by her is disturbing; I, like any geek, look up to certain people, but I have never been obsessed by someone to this degree, and especially just because they emulated dumb teen. Can anyone rationally explain this phenominon(sp)?
"What can a thoughtful man hope for mankind on Earth, given the experience of the past million years? Nothing." -Bokonon
Comment removed based on user account deletion
This interview and the Hamilton Morris video clip put it all together.
You hit the nail on the head, congratulations.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Ellen Feiss
or
Olsen Twins?
Pitchbabe for Dayquil--"and I was going to a commercial, but my head on the cold medications was like, beep, beep, beep so my speech went zoink--it would have been a good commercial."
Just like twenty five beeps on the comments on Slashdot like so far. Should i like count the likes.. yes i should, it's gonna be like fun. But should i leave my beeps and likes out of like the equation like? Three-hundred-six likes.. that's like a lot of likes. And left like all my likes and beeps like out of the like and beep list. This might be like the most beepy and likey Slashdot comments gallery. *BANG*
group and all!! this might be as good as the britney one?
Here's a mirror of the article. Missing a bunch of the graphics as I was only able to catch the page briefly
e rview.html
http://home.attbi.com/~bernhard36/ellen-feiss-int
In Soviet Russia...michael would be rotting in Siberia!
Why I'm a Linux user for life
:)
Who is this Anonymous Coward character, how does he post so much, and why is he always such a whore?
Reminded me of Foxtrot:
Link
"Do you feel any connection to the Dell dude? No, none whatsoever. That guy's a doofus. ... They'd probably be blond."
It's a bit off-topic for an Ellen Feiss thread, couldn't agree more regarding Linux's tendency toward Windows look-alike interfaces. This would apply to both the desktop and the way applications work.
l in es/HIGuidelines-2.html
I understand why Linux developers look to Windows. It's a familiar environment for most users. But I think we don't give users enough credit: provide them a well thought-out, consistent, attractive interface, and they'll do well. Of these three atrributes, consistency is the key.
The cool thing about the Mac interface is that everything works the same. No matter what you're running, you'll know where to find things. Windows behave consistently from app to app. Once you've spent a couple hours on a Mac, it's a BETTER pointy-clicky interface than Windows.
Mac developers design their interfaces with the Macintosh Human Interface guidelines in mind. I wish there were something similar in the Linux world:
http://developer.apple.com/techpubs/mac/HIGuide
Ah, yes: we must maintain our choices. No consistent interface for us. Long live the Revolution.
This is my post. There are many others like it. If you don't like what you read here, go try one of the others.
Pour them down your pants.
You will like it.
ArsTechnica has a discussion with the full article as well as a candid photo of Ellen for those of you who just can't get enough.
-- Mark Lyon http://www.marklyon.org
Put a mailing address in your profile (journal maybe) and ye shall receive the workaround you need. Think Corporate.
Sign the Ellen Feiss is hot petition ;)
, is hot. We also agree that we'd like to boink her all night long.
/. effect begin :)
From the site:
We, the undersigned, agree that Ellen Feiss, of Apple Computer's "Switch" ad campaign (http://www.apple.com/switch/ads/ellenfeiss.html)
324 signatures already, let the
getSexySig();
Who is she and why does everyone want to blow their load in her?
Actually, I just got an email from my boss. Uh oh. He wants me to 'work late'!
Besides being part of the Apple ad campaign why does anyone care? Why is this on Slashdot? How is she different than the other change ad people?
-- No Comment
...when we have Janie Porche to obsess over instead?
Did Apple compensate you for the commercial at all?
I'm not actually sure how much I got paid because it was in installments, and the whole contract was dealt with by my parents, so I'm not actually sure. Oh, and I got an iPod. It's like the coolest thing ever.
Only a geek would shrug aside money for an iPod!
But I guess I've seen stoners fascinated by shiny things though....
I'd hit it.
This is a common request, so I'll reveal the terrifying answer once and for all:
BlackBolt
Only on Slashdot would this not be moderated as either "Funny" or "Troll".
What a bunch of bullshit! You are using the same line of thinking as Hilary Rosen, you know that right?
"If a geek uses Mac OS X, that's like a loss for Linux"
=
"If a kid downloads an album in MP3, that's like a loss for the record company."
Besides, is the goal for Linux to "win", or is the goal for a better and better OS?
Have you ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill ON WEED?!!
Hey, those Linux guys are more interesting than you might think....
grep -ri 'should work'
In a brilliant PR move, Apple has trademarked the word "Like" and is sending cease and desist letters on behalf of their new IP acquisition. The question of prior art has arisen, though the only clear contenders, Moonunit Zappa and "My So Called Life" have yet to respond at the time of this posting. Film at 11.
Zech Harvey, MCSE, MCDBA, CCNA
Do we need to start an Ellen Feiss Switch add campaign to migrate the last few Natalie Portman fans over to being Ellen Feiss fans?
"I kept sending notes and flowers to Natalie but I never got a response. Then one day I got this cease and desist letter and this lawyer said something about a restraining order. That was like totally rude. That was the day I realized Natalie just didn't understand me. That was the day that I found Ellen Feiss on Slashdot. She knew who I was and understood everything about me. She said it like right to me 'these people don't have lives', that was me. We just have so much in common, I don't like that Dell dufus either. "
"My names Bob, I'm a Slashdot geek. I switched"
"Do not be swept up in the momentum of mediocrity." - anon
Do you realize what this means?
/. people actually read the article BEFORE posting.
For ONCE in the history of
Holy shit...
-- El Sacarino tiene gusto de la chocha
People say apple hardware is too expensive. Hogwash. BMW's are not cheap, are they? That doesn't means lots of people don't buy them...
And i don't hear anyone saying that a Beamer sucks because look how much that chevy cavalier costs!!
Only the best for me, Garson
...I'd rather see a "Switch" commercial featuring Morgan Webb. In fact, I'd rather see anything featuring Morgan Webb.
People getting off on this and being excited must be addicted to kiddie pr0n then. Come on people, she's just a kid, she's no Charliez Theron.
Wow, you may think you are a weed and benedryl expert, but have you ever talked to a fifteen year old girl???? Christ, this is how a lot of them really act. She honestly doesn't sound stoned at all. She sounds fifteen.
A common thing that allergies cause is red eyes. A common thing to take for allergies like that is benedryl. *You* may never have been hopped up on benedryl before, but do you honestly think that just because it's never happened to you that it can't happen? Even if it were an excuse, why the fuck would she give it as an excuse if benedryl could never have that kind of effect? Doesn't that sound retarded to you?
And oh my god, a pullover with a hood? When my younger sister was in high school last year, NONE of her friends wore pullovers with hoods. No way! Oh-- well except for the stoners of course. It's not like that is a popular style at all.
What you wrote would be a dorky, whimsical joke... except it's obvious you're not joking and that you think you are so fucking clever and smart because you are sure she's lying.
You're wrong. Get over it. And you're an asshole. Work on it.
This was reported in US News & World Report last summer
It's advertising... Most things you see in advertising aren't real.
Maybe she's like me and has adverse reactions to allergy meds...sometimes I have to take them too, but I don't like to. For the record, I like smoking weed, but Benadryl doesn't make me stoned in a fun way -- or in a functional way. Just ask people who watched me stumble and almost stick my hand under a red-hot stove burner while trying to avoid falling on my face into the stove while on Benadryl...yow!
Speaking of yow, your sig, dude. Thanks for the "Visualization mode OFF!" moment for today.
I'm not a geek, I'm just a clever script.
Please don't post spoilers without indication in the subject line. The interview has not yet been released in zimbabwe, so some of us have not been able to read it yet.
saw it at apple
I don't claim I know more than I know, and if you know you know more than I know, then by all means, let me know.
When in fact the log maybe be as long as ten feet.
You /.'ed Ellen Feiss. Slashdot has brought bad mojo to us all...
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
That's the smartest thing ever said by a temporary celebrity about temporary celebrity.
"The Wait is over! D'oh Ellen Feiss's interview is d'oh up! And she really was d'oh on drugs, (well, d'oh allergy meds.)" She's, d'oh, going to be traumatized about this forever, d'oh.
Hey guys... I need someone who has no life as well as experience making flash movies to make something funny about Ellen and The dell dude. I unfortuantely only fill one fo the requirements, having no life.... Anyway if anyone does undertake this task, post results here.
That's the last straw. Did we really need to know the destination of your oral fluids???
I'm now officially declaring a JIHAD on those spawns of satan, Joke Congratulation Posts.
Jokes? Fine. I've no problem with them. A lot of jokes on slashdot are at least a good attempt at being amusing. But joke congratulation posts? Whether satirical or straight, they just blow goats.
I'm sorry. I'm now going on a one-man crusade to mark all joke congratulation posts, irrespective of their origin, as -1 Overrated. You may call me sad and pathetic, you may call me strange - but I retort that those who post Joke Congratulation Posts are even sadder!
Female Prison Rape in NY
The house and land are kind of cool, but are you REALLY bragging about 70K a year?? That kind of makes me think that the house and land must be WAY out in the boonies.
That's hillarious. Gee, I'm glad I saw your post before it got modded down. Stupid ass moderators.
Only for ripping off the themes with logos and all. There is absolutely nothing stoping linux developers from taking advanted of Apple's years of research into GUI's and their human interface guidlines.
Apple has always been horrible and always will. After nearly 6 years of being obsolite, they finally changed their OS. And it still sucks.
You think they would have come up with more innovative ideas in that time frame. OSX is nothing else but an excuse so Apple can say 'Yes, we are advanced'. I can still do more on a PC. Apple products will always be designed with the 'computer illiterate' in mind, so therefor will never introduce anything of devine innovation.
Apple can die.
> Unfortunately, no one can be told what Hot Grits are. You have to see them for yourself.
/., but i didnt know just how big until i heard the story
lol!
thats fucking funny man but pretty long
i have the attention spam of a bug
i knew that hot grits were big on
ill take the blue grits please and a hot steamin' helpin' of natalie portman
Dude, I'm going to jail!
'She's on drugs.'
No she's not; she's thinking. Go get her a Pepsi.
.........
She's not cazy!
Institutionalized!
It is cowardly, and a betrayal of whatever it means to be a Jew, to act as a white man
-James Baldwin
check the sig
(yeah, i'm promoting it a lot - stupid eds wouldn't take the story - probably hitting too close to home?...)
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
by Apples own admission a few months ago, Linux has nearly double the desktop market share of OS X.
Evidence, please?
I lol'd
I suffer from sever seasonal allergies. I get bloodshot eyes and suffer from allergy induced stupidity. Most allergy medicines remove the burning eyes, but put me to sleep. The effects are so bad that until I got a perscrition for alegra, I stopped taking the meds at all. Hell, I moved to Alaska to get away from my allergies.
I'm willing to cut her some slack and beleive her. This isn't Anna Nicole Smith showing up on the Howard Sternm show stoned.
Boobies never hurt anyone. - Sherry Glaser.
"Dude" yer gettin a "Dude" Whoa!
//Geeks are now starting to get Macs, instead of developing for Linux they're playing with all the cool stuff on their mac. //
You are trying to tell me that I like linux more than a Mac with OSX for the desktop ?? Who are you trying to kid ?
I have run linux since .93 infomagic dist. No, f'in way that it even compares to OSX on the desktop.
I use it for cool routers, great file servers and ftp, nfs, samba ...
But for the desktop ? What are you smoking ?
OSX smokes linux and the applications you can run on a mac smokes everything I have run.
You stick with your crap hardware and KDE. I need to get work done on my desktop.
Open the Applications directory
Open the Utilities directory
Scroll down and find the Terminal application
Drag it to your Doc (at bottom) so it's one click away from then on.
From then on,
Click on the terminal app in the dock.
I don't see what you mean. How is "Ellen Feiss uses FreeBSD!" Russia-fied? It seems like a normal sentence. Unless FreeBSD is using her as some kind of mascot or something...but I haven't heard about that. If that statement truly is Russia-fied, then the original statement from which it was dervied would be "FreeBSD uses Ellen Feiss." I don't see the connection between FreeBSD and Ellen Feiss...even after reading the karma-whoring article text in the comments. Please explain.
most people I know who've done the not-anti-social drugs (i.e. not coke or PCP) simply wouldn't want to work for somebody who makes something that kills other people. Now, why would you want to go and make something that kills other people? You know in the bible, god says, "thou shalt not kill," and you'd be surprised how many anti-drug bible-thumpers out there have no problems working in the defense industry and making things that kill people. Now you might say to yourself, but it's for *defense* it's only if people *attack* me. Well did you know about the shoulder-launched missiles?? They were made and sold to go against the EVIL communists and we gave them to people in Afghanistan to shoot down Soviet planes. And now, they might be used by Al Quaida to shoot down civilian planes. So the problem isn't in the intentions, but in the unintended consequences. So if you're going to do this thing, please do all of us a favor, and think about all of the consequences that could happen with the thing you will be making that can kill people. And ask yourself, where did the people who are telling me about this get their information, and where did that information come from, and question everything. On the other hand, missile defense seems like a silly waste of resources, so congrats on landing a boondoggle. I heard they had to use a gps device on the missile to get the defense mechanism to be able to find it in the tests they used to show the president. My request - please don't use your intelligence to make something that could kill people. Please use it to think about how to create civilization such that people don't want to kill each other and also free of coercion.
Sheesh...
I've been running the same Windows XP install for nearly a year and a half now. Obviously you or your hardware is the thing fucking it up.
Horny geeks. Cute chic. Need I say more? (Yes I'm aware of her age. It's just a commercial.)
As best I could tell (and since I know very little about Apple HW I could very well be wrong), the PowerMacs were the only ones that had additional HD bays as well. That's more important to me than expansion slots.
As it happens I just bought a new PC (as in, the orders are being processed and the parts should be delivered next week). I'll be using precisely one slot - the AGP slot for video. Everything else (USB 2.0, Firewire, SATA, PATA, sound, network (x2), etc.) is on the motherboard. Sure, onboard sound is crap, but I'm not using good enough headphones or speakers for it to matter.
I didn't bother with a DVD-RW or DVD-ROM (I have one that I'll move over), but I at least have the expansion capabilities in the case for putting one in. Unless I bought a PowerMac the same wouldn't be true, at least as best I can tell.
Athlon XP 2100, 512 MB DDR, Nforce2 MB, 80 GB, 48/24/48 CD-RW, and 128 MB GeForce4 4200 for just under $1000. The price/performance compared to an Apple system continues to be staggering. It's why Apple has never succeeded in the general business market or in the home market to any large degree.
As an aside - can Apples use standard AGP cards, or do they have to have a special BIOS on them? If they could then the system I used as a price comparison falls by about $200 since Apple was wanting $350 for a GF4 Ti4200 (and one that's slower than the one I bought above).
Not only is it relatively grammatically correct, it does not *once* include the word "like." Maybe she was not under the influence of that hard narcotic Benadryll at the time, but the inconsistency in communication style is TOO great to ignore!
... there is no spoon
i say it tells you to toke up.
Drop that thang!
GRITS --> PANTS
Don't forget to tie off the ankles!
Hey, why not? He can test kernels under VirtualPC and still have the benefit of using a decent GUI for a change.
-- thinkyhead software and media
has little kid teeth.
Ellen Feiss is plug-n-play.
"acting like an ignorent teen "
"emulated dumb teen"
The facts are, she IS a stupid teenager, she IS an ignorant teen, and she IS a dumb teen.
But now she has an iPod, and if you pretend to be infatuated with her, maybe Apple will send you one too...
... there is no spoon
Please grow up, or at least wait for HER to...
... there is no spoon
Too many of my posts were modded offtopc or flame bait, when in my opinion they werent, so fuck em.
Now that she has spoken, let her have her life back.
Move on to the next foolish thing to get infatuated over.
Hey everyone!! Look here!!! I have an inanimate carbon rod!!!
Your momma so poor she went to McDonalds and put a shake on layaway!
OH SNAP!
Taking clues from the interview and making a few logical jumps leaves me with one conclusion:
;)
Ellen Feiss lives in (or very near) Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Why this conclusion? Well, in the article it's clear she was on the set of the Switchers campaign because she is friends with Hamilton Morris, son of the director Errol Morris. Errol Morris and his family (including his son) live in Cambridge.
As far as the set being in LA... it's possible the location was changed in the article to protect the innocent, but it's also possible that Apple flew Errol, Hamilton, and Ellen to the set.
Another clue is that the article was done by Brown University, which is in Providence... very close to Cambridge so it's likely the person that knew Ellen at the college was from Massachusetts.
So unless anyone can contradict me (in a non-flaming manner thanks), I'll stick with my assesment that Ellen Feiss is in Cambridge!
That makes TWO, count 'em TWO hot geek icons living there, since Natalie Portman has an apartment there for here studies at Harvard (She's a senior this year, right? I hope she decides t stay)
Score 2 for the 'bridge! Go Mass!
-Pzy
http://uploads.newgrounds.com/68000/68643_sw_switc h.swf
This is pretty cute.
TiChick (now supercharged!)
Your logic doesn't work.
Marketshare is not the same thing as installed base, and you interchange the two. Macintoshes currently ship with Mac OS X as the default operating system, so out of the box 100% of these machines are running Mac OS X. So that's 100% of the roughly 3-4% marketshare (it is unclear from these research firms if they count only CPU boxes, or boxed software sales also). Apple estimates that there will be 5 million Mac OS X users by the end of the year (see Apple's Q4 results, and there are roughly 25 million Mac users overall.
The next two things cannot be easily measured. The number of people that do not run Mac OS X and always switch back to Mac OS 9 on their new Macs. Plus, some people switch between the two and spend more time in one or the other. The other difficult to measure item is not only the number of desktop Linux seats, but the number of them that spend a majority of their time in Linux. I would bet that a majority of the Linux desktop seats out there spend a significant amount of time, if not a majority of time booted into Windows.
If I ever met this fucking rich-ass jew whore I'd beat the shit out of her. What a fucking dog.
*cackling*
e eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...*
must.. stop.. laughing..
*choking sounds*
*thud*
Clear!
*Cachunk*
Clear!
*Cachunk*
*beeeeeee
He was like... A really good slashdoter...
That was like.............. A bummer.
Ellen Feiss is a lot like most 15-year-olds
Fifteen? Why God...? WHY!!! I thought I had found my dream girl, but she's just jail bait.
Code softly but carry a big magnet.
Unless my /. math is off, 10-2 is 8, not 7. Also, here's a link to this phrase on a t-shirt from Thinkgeek
Overrated / Underrated : Moderation
Do you think those were Photoshopped on Linux or Windows?
He's trying to make false, negative claims to my one and only HEROINE!
Here's a Real Testimonial in the form of an actual Apple Help Desk call I downloaded from an Apple employee's website. I love Apple, I love my MacQuarium, but perhaps Ellen's answer isn't as clear cut as it seems... The link is also found at media.atari.org
Aleks Oniszczak
VividPicture.com/aleks
Comment removed based on user account deletion
She's a fucking whore. 'nuff said.
(Going to hell for that one...)
You may be going to hell, but you're also going to the Slashdot Top 10 Comments of the Year! ...if they ever get around to putting something like that up. hehehe you killed me with that one man
Huh? Yes, she used the word bombard, but she used it incorrectly. It's a verb, not a noun (unless she was referring to an ancient cannon).
ef:"When we get back two weeks later, it's like a bombard, it was so big."
Read it context, she probably meant to say that it's like being bombarded.
iLotion anyone?
On one of my many random livejournal adventures I stumbled across a classmate of Ellen's, named Lily. The cool thing is that Lily dated Hamilton (the other kid with the commercial, and the one who landed Ellen her ad) for quite some time. Apparently Ellen goes to The Cambridge School of Weston, a rather alternative high school Massachusetts. Here are some of the more relevant Livejournal threads:
Lily finds out about ellenfeiss.net
Lily finds out that her ex-boyfriend Hamilton is gonna be in a commercial
Lily comments on Hamilton's dad doing some stuff for the Oscar's and getting tons of loot. Apparently that family is hella-rich.
Lily just saw Hamilton make an appearance on the Oscars. (betcha didn't know he was already famous _before_ the switch ad)
Yeah yeah, it mostly deals with Hamilton (there's a lot more about him if you keep going through the journal) and not much is all THAT exciting, but I thought it was interesting.
...who watch leno and letterman over mtv? doesn't surprise me a bit. i find it amusing as everyone seems aghast now that they are looking through the timewarp that is tennagers... and to those that say "gee i wasn't like that when i was 15" well, good for you, times change. how long ago was that? and have you grown up since then?
Large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
Varies between states. Age of consent for around the world.
All editorial writers ever do is come down from the hill after the battle is over and shoot the wounded.
Terrifically fun read. She's obviously cooler than the people twice her age (and more) who fetishize her. And do you know what her secret is, you middle-aged cueballs with your Feiss t-shirts and coffee mugs? Have you not read your Nabokov? She doesn't give a fuck. Ha, ha! The ultimate object of worship in our pandering age is the celebrity created out of nothing, who doesn't care, who really can't be bothered, for whom it just happened and for whom just as easily one day it will un-happen, and, meanwhile, whose sheer disinterest turns the covetous world on its ear.
I swear, she is like SO related to "The Dude".
Did you mean your one and only heroin?
Ron Paul 2012
When Apple asked Ellen "What do you like? FreeBSD?" Ellen though they said "What do you like? Free LSD?" and she was like, "Yeah..."
Sorry for that. Just a lighthearted joke, move along.
Ron Paul 2012
she is fucking hot. thanks for the link.
For those who don't feel like cut n pasting (esp with that dang silly /. space in there)
http://developer.apple.com/techpubs/mac/HIGuidelin es/HIGuidelines-2.html
I'm so glad my wife is going to come rescue my drunken geek ass.
Damn straight I'm posting anonymously!!!
Of course they will. Windows people are wankers.
--hongpong.com
I didn't know Benadryl was slang for weed. Someone should tell her that smoking pot is actually bad for her allergies.
Thank you sir, may I have another?
The evolution of this joke, as far as I can tell, goes like this:
Although it may have been a bit subtle, and it is definitely not funny now that I have explained it, my response "What about the other 7?" was not an admission that I lack an understanding of binary, but was an attempt at reaching back into the joke's history to give it a new twist.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
My bad. I must have never heard the 3 types joke.
Overrated / Underrated : Moderation
Two drops of pee just came out!
"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
This guy should check out ebay, that's faster.
Ellen Feiss Poster Wanted
Of course not! I am careful to be always kind to animals. That's a completely bogus analogy.
The one and only (and totally acceptable) True Way to register laughter on slashdot is to rate posts "+1 Funny". Anything else is punishable by immediate karma hits!
HAND,
--
The Slashdot Humour Police
Female Prison Rape in NY
It's classed as a Cannabinoid.
CNS depressants are alcohol, barbiturates, benzodiazapines. THC has a different site of action than the CNS depressants. CNS depressants act on the GABA complex, while THC has a different receptor.
I know that it's a joke, but that line is just so blatantly wrong.
Sorry about that (see followup). I forgot to refresh before posting my reply.
Writers imply. Readers infer.
I was an advanced placement student in high school and an honor student in college. Personally I think the little stoner chick is pretty clever. Not to mention she seems to have a healthy sense of perspective when it comes to some of the weirdness that's gone on.
If she's still talking like that when she's 25 or so, then we can freely criticize. Let her be a kid for now.
Like, does she have, like, another word she like, likes to say?
? ID=269" | grep -ic like
%lynx -dump "http://www.browndailyherald.com/post/stories.asp
28
scott
Mod parent up, please. Funniest comment I've read here in a while!
I despise Ellen Feiss.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock.
like, really
80% of americans can't point to their own country on a map of the world.
thanks, funniest thing I've seen in a week.
Nice Matrix schtick. Are you trying to sell this to the studios? Since slashdot is so popular, its about time they get their own movie. And what better than funny sci-fi? Cowboy Neal must play Yoda and join Neo etc to fight evil.
linkz:
a ni eporche.jpg
o 02 0711182002.jpg
/ 10 /14/stalkingJaniePorche.html
http://homepage.mac.com/janieporche/.Pictures/j
http://www.apple.com/switch/images/switchtop302
http://www.cadenhead.org/workbench/stories/2002
How is the +1 Insightful +1 Informative +1 Funny? The guy didn't even get the original joke. Informative... maybe, since he posted from the article. Insightful? Funny? No.
Come on, moderators. I expect more from you.