Slashdot Mirror
Superhero Smackdown
Paul writes "Fox News is running a story that asks one of the best geek questions of our generation: who win if Superman and Batman fought one another?. The last this topic was big was during the Spider-Man/AOTC rush in May. I distinctly remember a particular essay that compared Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, any Jedi (particularly Yoda), and James Bond." Obviously the author didn't read DK2 ;) And I put my money on Deadpool, if only because his quips are better.
Superman would win. That's why Bruce Wayne keeps some kryptonite to stop him if he goes nuts.
Superman. Superman is The Man of Steel and can do anything he wants. Batman is just a guy in a costume, no special powers, just gadgets with names that start with Bat-. Batman also had his sidekick, Robin to help the illusion that Batman was a real superhero.
Obviously, unless Batman has some kryptonite stashed in his utility belt, he's thoroughly F'd if he messes with the Man of Steel.
/. editors ever read any comic books? Batman is a normal guy. He just has a fancy suit and a lot of gadgets and training. It's no contest.
Have the
Duh.
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Who would win, right, out of Predator und Alien?...
Sad, truly sad.
Obviously the author didn't read DK2 ;)
...he did. I gave up my special world where journalists with integrity resisted blagging other people's ideas when they were pushed for a story within a deadline.
Try NetBSD... safe,straightforward,useful.
Batman wins through guile, then spares Superman's life. Film at eleven.
This desire to see bloodshed between our heroes is obviously human nature, take the popularity of MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch.
So why haven't we seen more things like exhibitional wrestling matches between Paul Allen, Steve Ballmer, and Bill Gates?
Or ESR and RMS?
Have you been stalked by Seth today?
1) This is a repeat story
2) Batman is a human with skills, Superman is called "superhuman" for a reason; Batman couldn't beat him in any possible way, except by lobbing a few tons of Kryptonite his way.
Spur of the moment drunken brawl: Superman, no question.
Planned event: Batman, hands down.
(unless theyre limited to their bare hands)
Always bet on the sneaky pragmatic bastard.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
One question does come to mind, since they both always "fought evil", which one is going to turn to make this possible.
Even more fun would be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. Power Rangers, or Pokemon vs. Dragon Ball Z. Why does everything have to be a boxing match, I want to see an all out brawl!
Ignore the "p2p is theft" trolls, they're just uninformed
Of course. Batman is just a talented schizophrenic drunk millionaire with an adopted boy good at solving riddles. Hell, Superman wouldn't even need to do anything, Batman would probably off himself.
Ahhhh! How could you people forget one of the best - Inspector Gadget!
given sufficient stem-cell research
Superman by a mile... Batman is a highly skilled human, while Superman is a endowed with superhuman strength, speed, intelligence, etc...
Now, Superman vs the Flash, who would win that race?
"TK-421, why aren't you at your post?"
The obvious answer is the MPAA ...
BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS
Batman kicked Supermnan's ass with the help of a biomech suit and some kryptonite. Doesn't matter how he did it, the result was still the same.
I want real world cage matches.
I want to see Henry Rollins and Danzig get it on.
Rollins would be intellectualizing his moves blow by blow. He would enter the ring babbling in low tones about the state of human relationships and work himself up into a screaming rage while inflating his neck like some iguana on steroids.
Danzig would be continually wiping the runny makeup out of his eyes as he started to sweat. Singing about how his mother could bang better heads than Hank.
That would be entertainment.
Puto
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Jon Katz owned the Spider-Man vs. AOTC debate. I'd bet his take on this one would make a good read. Anyone know what became of him?
Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
Geeks really need to
Get a life and stop sucking off
Superhero toys
The stories keep getting MORE AND MORE GAY
Why don't you report the many anti-war protests in the U.S. and the idiocy of the Grifter-In-Chief
Thank you and have a nice day.
Winner: Spongebob Squarepants
Both comics produce far to much money, esp. with debates like these to generate more revenue etc etc... however spiderman is probably #1 has almost no reason to fight, batman has cash, superman is invincible, spiderman is pretty much every day joe
Batman would win, without a doubt. Not only is he sneaky as hell, he prepares for everything. As soon as he heard about Superman, he probably started planning on what to do with him, just in case. And he's got the money to back it up. Superman is cool and all, but he's a farmboy hick at heart. He would just charge straight in, get caught by something that would slow him down and get his jaw broken with Batman's krytonite brass knuckles.
SealBeater
-- Its survival of the fittest...and we got the fucking guns!!!
...but wait...what if there wasn't an empty phone booth availible? Honestly, the best geek discussion I had like this was a showdown between the DeathStar vs the Borg. Of course, the DeathStar would win hands down :)
in trying to keep from bastardizing comics. they want to usher in a new era of bite sized cameos and team-ups? man, it's like a shitty aniversary issue or something. As far as batman v superman goes, I distinctly remember batman taking a swing at superman after robin got killed off. he just about broke his hand. come on, it's a no-contest, although as rich as he is, batman could probably reduce superman to living in a cardboard box under a bridge. I'm glad they were smart enough to can that idea.
predator versus aliens, however is an idea that people are actually looking forward to. I think ever since predator 2, where there was an alien skull on display, people have been dying to watch the two races go at it.
and I just don't know about the freddy v. jason thing. I know it's been being kicked around for 10 years or so, unless someone hatches a good plot for it, there's going to be no point in it. it'd just be a race to see who can find people having sex first and then wax them.
The World's Worst Webcomic!
In the Dark Knight series by Frank Miller, Batman and Superman do have at it. Unfortunately, as it's been years since I read it, I don't remember details. I think Supes "kills" batty, but it turns out Batman has taken some drug to make him seem dead so he can come back in secret and continue the fight against evil in the background.
This series is well worth reading (the first three volumes, at least - I think there have been further followons). In it, superheros have been outlawed. Batman has retired (but illegally comes out of retirement), and Superman is undercover as a US govt. agent - a complete sellout.
Some of the series is pretty contrived, but the first volume in particular is the finest graphic novel I've seen. Gripping and engaging, it really pulls you into Batman's life and the pain that drives him.
No sig? Sigh...
One thing that really bugs me is how superman and buffy never cripple their opponents. The truth is that superman would hit batman, batman would go flying, and as a result of the fist impact as well as the landing, batman would break numerous bones. Hell, superman would probably puncture his lung in one hit. The end.
..Groo vs Aeon Flux.
Far back in the mists of time, or sixteen years ago if you're being less poetic, I was a DM'ing my first set of D&D games. I created the Eruvia continent for the setting, and populated it with various goodies, nasties and a chief baddy - The King.
The King was a stunningly powerful lych, and it soon became clear that if this guy drifted in to the game, the balance of power was ended. Put simply - the King was too strong, and ruined all the games because players went up against him and just instanteneously died.
I'm not deeply into comics, but Superman seems to be that character to me. In Superman they've created a superhero who is just too strong to be beaten.
I fixed my game world by arranging for the King to die courtesy of some unspecified magic tool. The games became interesting again. Similarly, I was encouraged a while ago that Superman was to be killed off, but apparently they've wimped out of that and brought him back to life.
I suppose then my pick would be Superman. But it's not a pick I make with any great enthusiasm. It's an unbalanced character.
Cheers,
Ian
Of course the best fighter would obviously be an Alien spawned from a Predator! Hmmm, wonder if I can copyright this idea...
Q, being in general control of reality, seems a fairly safe bet in silly contests.
/. editors wanted to drag this old debate up? What's next: Enterprise vs. Star Destroyer?
Anyway, was it such a slow day that the
I don't know, but I do know that a average run of the mill star destroyer will kick the Enterprise's ass!
Next up : "Who's better Santa Clause or Jesus ?"
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Vi vs. Emacs
Buy a Nintendo DS Lite
So what's the lesson - brawn beats brains? It certaintly was true on the playground as a kid, but hardly inspiring. I would want Batman to win (as in DK2), just because he's so much more of an engineer.
It's not wasting time, I'm educating myself.
That's a very well written article that links to a number of great AvP resources out there. Of course, it fails to go where this subject has already been delved:
;)
Comic Books.
Aliens versus Predator was originally (IIRC) a short in Dark Horse Presents, that was spun off into its own comic. The first series was great - it was about a group of humans who colonized a Predator 'Hunt' planet unbeknownst to the Predators, so when the Predators seeded the planet with Alien eggs they got more than they bargained for (of course, it's more complex than that). There have been a number of other comics (and books) in the same vein, all of them with their good points and bad points.
But one can't speak of comic crossovers without speaking of Batman v. Predator, Aliens v. Predator v. Terminator, Superman v. Aliens - not to mention the various Marvel and DC comics that are about pitting one superhero against another (X-Men and Batman are just versus of the week). The list is virtually endless. It's a lot cheaper to make a comic than a movie, but I think most of these ideas have real merit.
I really, really hope AvP is made into a movie - it's already had two great and successful video games. Of course, we'd have to wait until it came out on DVD to see it
-lw
Mods: Disagreeing with me != my post Offtopic / Flamebait.
World without hate or war, invaded. Tragic?
An amazing comic about Batman coming out of retirement...
MacGyver vs Walker Texas Ranger!
That would be one hell of a fight! GoooOOOO MacGyveeeeer!
Enig? Det alt for hot det smor!
Batman, living in the U.S. and being white, was no doubt raised Christian. As such, he has the power of God on his side, and who can defeat such power? Let us look back to Moses - a weak being defeating a seemingly more powerful Pharoah. Is this not the same analogy between Batman and Superman? This, of course, is assuming Superman has not yet converted to the faith - in which case Superman would most obviously win, I mean, holy $#!@ he's strong.
Here are the stats . :(
Now, we all know Batman would win. He's got a big ol' kryptonite medallion, that Superman gave him himself, to use in case he was ever controlled by sume supervillain. Along with a speech about how Batman was the only person he would trust with it. I read that comic, but can't find the reference for the life of me
I feel it important to point out that I own seven comics from various eras in DC, mostly early-mid 70s, which have all hashed this out.
In every single case, Batman wins. The only comic I own where Clark Kent beats Bruce Wayne is where Bruce Wayne is under the mind control of Brainiac, and where Clark uses a lesson learned from Bruce earlier in the comic to undo the problems.
DC has always put Bruce's brains over Clark's powers, though always with significant difficulty.
StoneCypher is Full of BS
This is the lamest story I think I've ever seen on Slashdot. Hasn't Mrs. Taco started steering you into the real world yet? For Christ's sake, you're a thirty odd year old "man". Isn't it time to let go of the childish fantasies?
Marvel and DC collaborated on a large-format comic back in the 70's that pitted Superman and Spider-man against each other. Before they realize they are on the same side, they fight to a draw. How is this possible, you ask? FM, of course. Before the battle, Spider-man is exposed to something (don't remember what, maybe red kryptonite?) that makes him as strong and invulnerable as Superman.
During the same time period, DC also published a Superman vs Muhammed Ali comic. Ali won because they were fighting under a red sun (which saps Superman's powers). But of course they team up at the end to fight the bad guys.
No sig? Sigh...
If you want to find out for yourself, try Heroclix.
It's generally considered fact that if Batman had enough time to plan, he could defeat God.
Superman would be trivial. Clark/Superman = strong as an ox, dumb as a stump.
MacGyver always wins! ...provided he can whip up some kryptonite from what happens to be lying around...
This desire to see bloodshed between our heroes is obviously human nature, take the popularity of MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch.
Or of Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. Melee.
I'm just waiting for Super Smash Bros. 3: Nintendo vs Sega, or Nintendo vs Capcom, or (better yet) Nintendo vs Disney. Mario could tear apart Mickey Mouse, but I'm not all too sure Kinopio could beat Pinocchio.
Will I retire or break 10K?
Just an FYI here, Deadpool is no more. He was "killed" off, and the book was cancelled.
To be honest, good riddence, I say. The writing has been horrible every since Joe Kelly left the scene some 20+ issues ago. Deadpool just hasn't been Deadpool with out Kelly at the helm.
Deadpool has now been reborn as Agent-X with a new creative team and they've actually been doing a pretty good job since they started working with the title. The style feels like the old Deadpool even if the character doesn't look the same and it's fun to read.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Do you get the same answer if you assume they're doing the Samba instead of the Funky Chicken?
In our next episode we'll discuss whether balrogs have wings, and if so, whether their wingpits smell as bad as their armpits.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
"Batman vs. Superman" is set to be a movie in '04. It's right here folks!
It's being directed by Wolfgang Petersen.
It's being made by Warner Brothers so it's a mystery why Fox is asking the question and not Warner Brothers. Maybe Fox is asking FOR Warner Brothers and the top moderated scenarios that you folks are giving will be used.
Taco, you in on this?
Yes, lets. Let's notice that Moses would have been a non-white middle-eastern Jew, for example. Perhaps it's not quite the same analogy...?
These hypothetical questions are pretty strange. They aren't real, people! Try this one on for size. Who would win if anti-lock brakes fought redhat 8.0? What if weapons were allowed?
So in other words, if the fight is in a Batman comic, Batman is going to win. If it's in one of Superman's, Superman is going to win. If it's in a combination, there can never be an absolute winner.
I hope that helps.
"If the good lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates." -Willy Wonka
Thats a battle I wanna see. Super/Bat/Aqua-men are done, fork 'em.
And a 3 man tag battle pitting:
Brak/Zorak/Moltar vs the Aqua Teen Hunger Force
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
The Star Wars Universe was considered to be in a civ that was far advanced of the Star Trek in any series. Remember even in SF that replicator crap just isn't going to happen. So the Death star would make short work of any number of cubes.
Batman did kick supermans ass but he was wearing a biomechanical suit and had some kryptonite.
Now, if it was a nude grecko roman wrestling match, If superman didn't just kill him outright, he could
a) light his balls on fire with his heat vision.
b) break every bone in his body and then grind him into a flesh colored paste.
c) fly him into out space and enjoy watching the effects of an absolute vacuum.
d) Imagine the scene in Snatch when the parkie puches out gorgeous george? Not imagine if georges head popped off...
e) superman could scoop up a bunch of rock, melt it into a ball, make a cavity in the ball, knock out batman, put him into the ball, seal the ball and then either throw it into the sun or slam it into the moon...
Needless to say, without his technology, batman would be screwed....
Yes Francis, the world has gone crazy.
Batman thought he was bad
He was a fucking asshole in the first place
He got knocked to the floor
I wupped batman's ass!
I wupped batman's ass!
I wupped batman's ass!
Superman thought he was bad
He was messing with my girlfriend
I caught him in my room kissing her
I took a rubber hose and flogged his rump
I whipped Superman's ass (repeat 4 times)
Wesley Willis Song Generator
"And how can this be? For he is the
Who cares? Isn't this the sort of thing that keeps you awake at night when you're like 12? No wait, I don't want to know.
sic transit gloria mundi
The four superheros mentioned recently have had a resurgence in both the skill of their writers and the depth of their stories. Here are, I think, the great books with these characters. All are still available at your local comic shop:
Superman: For All Seasons (Jeph Loeb)
Batman: Year One (Miller), Dark Knight Returns (Miller), The Killing Joke (Moore), Officer Down (Rucka), Bruce Wayne Fugitive:Murderer (Rucka).
Spider-Man: A Day in the Life (Jenkins), anything by J.Michael Strazinski (from Babylon5. yes, he writes spiderman).
Deadpool: The current Agent X storyline, The Circle Chase or any trade paperback you can find. This guy is harder to find.
Turns out that they SHELVED the idea.. Sorry folks...
They had a lot of problems to put Batman in Justice League of America, because he doesn't have any super powers
The new Batman definitely has much more agility than the average human being; that alone makes him hero material. He can even fly. Add gadgets from Q^HWayne Enterprises, and how isn't Batman a superhero?
Will I retire or break 10K?
When is it? I will be ineterested in live telecast. :-D
Hmmm... Ok.. Chivas on the rocks.
Sooner or later, according to Frank Miller.
Trolling using another account since 2005.
We've got it in the arcade room. I haven't played it, but aside from the classics,
Megaman,etc, it looks like there's a LEGO guy. Anyone know whether that's in Marvel or Capcom?
We're on a mission from God.
Who would win?
George Reeves Superman
Christopher Reeves Superman
Keanu Reeves Superman
Vrs
Adam West Batman
Val Kilmer Batman
Micheal Keaton Batman
Ever read the essay by (I think it was) Larry Niven called (I think it was) "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex". It examines, among other things, the physics of passion and explains why Superman and Lois would never be able to consummate their relationship. Worth a read.
--Jim
Ooops, make that kryptonite. Another of my famous spelling errors.
Eve Fairbanks says I drive a hybrid!LOL
Oh lord, I am sorry I used my modpoints. That is too funny.
Just out of curiousity, what would "Steamboat Willie's" special moves be?
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
...you should never, ever bring up in a geek forum:
Spider-Man versus Wolverine
Superman versus Hulk
Thanos versus everybody
The Joker versus Hostess Fruit Pies
CowboyNeal versus Grodd the Gorilla
"Oh c'mon already. Enough with the assassin meet-and-greet"
"I order steak, you send me shrimp cocktail! I ask for Creed, you send me Lionel Ritchie!"
"I swear, if Weasel took the batteries out of my suit to run his Game-Boy again -- I'm gonna Super-Mario his sorry butt into a body cast!"
"Then I'm gonna teach the mook who invented snow all that stuff I picked up from the Turkish corrections officer"
"Hey, nice digs, Walt! Canadian government spring for this joint? All they ever gave me was a gold watch and incurable acne. Go figure."
"You know, you never realize how sharp fur is until your epidermis is boiled off..."
"Is it in the "mysterious employer credo" that these little rendezvous always have to be in Exotic locales? I mean, just once wouldn't you like to sit down at a Denny's and plan an assassination over a french slam breakfast?"
"Porkchops -- perfect for every occassion"
May I please have my frontal lobotomy if I bring back the ashtrays?
Stallman vs. Torvalds
Okay, technically a Red Sun doesn't sap his powers, it just doesn't replenish them the way a yellow sun does.
My other sig is extremely clever...
They're both good guys, why do we want to kick the crap out of each other? I'd be more interested in watching Megatron and Optimus Prime go at it (fighting, I don't know how the other interpretation would work with Transformers) than Duke and Lady Jane or something.
F-bacher
James Tiberius Kirk: "Spock, the women on your planet are logical. No other planet in the galaxy can make that claim."
And he' name is LOBO !!!!!! ...
Nobody can beat him
and he doesn't even need to be "fighting good"
He just freaking kicks ASSSSS!!!!!
just my 5c worth.
Sanity is a majority vote.
what about Wonder Women or Captain America?
Don't Tread on OpenSource
Superman flys acreoos the room @ 10000 MPH and seperates the "Bat-Head" from the "Bat-Torso"...
The best batman can hope to do is BLEED on him...
Business is Business and Business must grow, Regardless of crummies in tummies you know... -Onceler
Hear! Hear! At least somebody recognises this question as settled. Batman did Superman. He did it by stopping his heart and tricking Superman into thinking he was dead. Batman is wearing the title belt.
Do these reporters just pick subjects out of a hat?
All data is speech. All speech is Free.
Let's compare the two:
Superman: Clean-cut country boy in the big city, small town values, all round good guy, always fight's fair.
Batman: Traumatic child hood, watch his parents get killed, grew up in a corporate world where it is dog eat dog to survive, does what ever is needed to win, thinks out of the box.
Superman see Batman as another super hero good guy, thinks he could use a hug.
Batman on the other hand looks at Superman as competition, and would look for weak spots to exploit for his own personal gain. Of course he would know all about Kryptonite and the means to get it.
Batman would have a natural upper hand on Superman, based on his background.
Wise men speak because they have something to say, Fools because they have to say something!!!!
Superman's real "weaknesses" are his morals. Sure he is all-powerful, but he is also strictly confined within his own rules. Defined purely by his own boundaries he has become a predictable, pliable tool.
Batman's weakness is clearly physical and his boundaries seem to be imposed upon him by nature. However he will do whatever is necessary to break and bend these shortcomings. Can't fly? Get a batwing. No heat-ray eyes? Use lasers. As such Batman's real limit is his ingenuity.
So who would win? Unstoppable but self-restraining force vs. struggling, but limitless potential.
It really seems to be a foregone conclusion.
I am a Karma Library.
Oooooh! That's a toughy. Man, I can't pick a winner from that one no matter how much I think about it. Thanks a lot...
I personally have not read the comics concerned, but had discussions of this with a friend who is an avid comic collector/reader. He said that whenever Batman has battled Superman in the comics, Batman usually comes out on top due to his cleverness and possession of a bit of kyptonite.
Batman is unique that he does not have super powers, but is a razer honed human in terms of his abilities, and has many very cool gadgets for any situation that may arise. He might not be able to fly at will, shoot lasers out of his eyes, move like lightening, or be able to manipulate the physics forces around him, but he's one clever, *determined* bastard. When I think of revenge in the justice sense, Batman is the image that comes to mind. He is a dark, human superhero that fights for very human reasons.
"What can a thoughtful man hope for mankind on Earth, given the experience of the past million years? Nothing." -Bokonon
who win if Superman and Batman fought one another?.
Superman hit Batman head. Batman Ow! Robin cry. Head hurt. What you do now?.
Who would win between George W. Bush and this guy's English teacher?
Build your own website - full service homepage system your m
It's braggin' time. When I was in high school (Okemos, MI) I hung out wih a girl named Jamie. One night her folks were gone and several of us got drunk and high at her house. Her last name was Welling, yep Tom's older sister -> Smallville. Tom was especially silly high.
Like these guys.?
Mike Ditka. Definitely Ditka.
Let's say that Batman and Superman were thrown in a ring to fight, and they were both motivated to win(Robin dies if Batman loses Lois dies if Superman loses). So, the first thing Batman does is take off the kid gloves and goes at Superman with everything he's got. Superman wastes cycles thinking of how to save Lois and Robin without killing Batman. Batman figures this out too, but he does it while he's kicking Superman's ass.
The classic confrontation between Superman and Batman was IMHO when in the Man of Steel miniseries where Battman puts up a force field around himself and tells Superman that if he penetrates the forcefield, a bomb that Batman has planted on some person in the city will detonate. Superman leaves Batman alone. There really was a bomb, and it was planted on Batman. Batman figured Superman could tell if he were lying, so he created the scenario where he wouldn't have to lie, or put someone else at risk, but he could still thwart Superman.
My money's on Martian Manhunter if the battle's underwater.
My other sig is extremely clever...
Because HE IS THE LAW..... Drokk it... There are two more movies in the works, by rebellion studio's. Thankfully the brits are handling it this time, the way Judge Dredd should be :)
Ubuntu- Linux for human beings.
It doesn't matter. they're both DC.
Only REAL comics matter.
P.S. Till Cyclops gets bifocals, Make Mine Marvel.
Ok, seriously now, Batman has Toys, but Superman is Faster, Stronger, and Bulletproof. (If you're taking the kryptonite argument, think of the lead suit) IF Superman really wanted Batman taken out, it would all be over in two seconds. Or less. Much less.
IMHO
If Batman had superman's powers, he wouldn't wear the blue leotard; he'd wear kryptonite proof armour.
Superman needs a belt to keep his underpants up forcryingoutloud. And they're outside his trousers.
I am a Karma Library.
Put this contest on www.pubfight.com and see who really wins. Simple.
Having read bother characters for most of my life, the big question comes up as to what continuity Batman and Superman are we talking about? If we go with the Dark Knight (Basically the start of elsworld type stories) series, then you are talking Batman barely winning with help from Ollie Queen (Green Arrow), Carrie(the new Robin), and the fact that Supes had just prevented Nuclear Armageddon. If you talk Classic continuity, then the edge goes to Supes, since Kryptonite was not kept in the batcave, and that was the ONLY thing that could hurt Supes in any way. I stress only because... In Current Continuity, Supes is not as invunerable as in the past. He is suseptable to magic, and magic enhanced weaponry besides kryptonite. You also are talking about an era where Supes has a tendancy of not always seeing all the possibilities. Any physical battle is easily affected by a participants will, intelligence, and wisdom, and in that area, Batman has the edge. In the end of this battle, it would be too close to call. (FYI, I'm a bigger Batman fan, but you gotta look at this from a neutral point of view). Just some food for thought.
Just realise the reality of the situation..... There is no reality.
Superman vs Batman is so dumb....they are both fighting the fight against evil, yet they go at it? What is their animosity based on? Who is the better do gooder? Really lame. Predator vs Aliens is a MUCH better idea, since the Predator hunts, and they actually show an Alien trophy in Pred 2. If they come out with this I'll definitely go see it.
Batman realizes his weaknesses, and those of his enemies. He then exploits these weaknesses. Superman is the man of steel; he is almost invincible, but he does have a weakness. Batman would find and exploit it. I think that's why I've always enjoyed Batman more; he actually has to use his head.
Why should I argue rationally with someone being irrational? I'll just mock them instead.
Here's a tip for all you virginal geeks out there... this is a pretty fun bar discussion. Good at getting geeky chicks to talk without having to resort to discussion IO speeds vs seek rates of SCSI vs. IDE.
Batman's just a rich crazy guy with gadgets, but he excels at analyzing his enemies and finding their weaknesses. Superman is nearly invincible, but he's easy to bait and has an Achilles heel.
Since Batman isn't rich he doesn't have to worry about the price of Kryptonite on the black market.
Why should I argue rationally with someone being irrational? I'll just mock them instead.
God, I can't believe how many of you geeks manage to horribly mangle the plot of "The Dark Knight Returns". You must write for hollywood. I'm not even a damn fanboy, and I can synopsize the battle more accurrately.
Batman plans ahead and is prepared while big dopey Superman comes blundering in to take B into custody because the powers that be say he's a "bad boy".
Batman gives S a dose of the K, smacks him around with some missles while he's weakened, and generally beats him until he cries like a little girl. They point that out in the story that Batman wants Superman to know that he got his ass kicked, and by whom.
Then, having already thought through the scenario, B knows that even if he wins, that the world has changed, and he can't operate openly anymore. So he has a chemical concotion, that he thought up with his big brain, that puts him in a coma.
Superman thinks he's killed B, and cries again. Batman sculks off to continue to use his big brain to fight evil from the shadows.
Basicly, Batman wins because he's a big smarty-man, but then throws the fight. In the bigger picture, they're both victims of circumstance, and have to comprimise to survive in the world.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
What about Goku? Or Gohan even? I am putting my money on either one of those two.
Somebody fill me in on this...
The contradiction to the Super-Jedi argument would be Superman's apprent inability to save falling Statues of Liberty by manipulation of the Force.
I haven't read any comics in years, and it's been even longer since I read a Superman book (probably back to his "death")... Anyone care to shed some light?
sig.
To keep it ontopic, imagine I ranted about how the news industry is now nothing but another form of entertainment, and how horrible it is that stuff like this is actually competing with real stories like the failure of the Bush Administration to accomplish regime change in Afghanistan.
Batman wins. Hands down. Superman's waaaay to namby-pamby - he'd let Batman get back up after a haymaker because it's not right to hit a man when he's down, blah blah blah. The Dark Knight prefers to bury the hatchet in people's foreheads.
Or he'd get a really good archer to shoot a kryptonite arrow... Oh, wait...
Even with a batbelt full 'o kryptonite, all Superman has to do is plow into Batman at near-light speed. Batman is instantly pulverized, and Superman is momentarily weakened by the kryptonite.
But Superman *wouldn't* do that, that's why he loses.
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
Superman doesn't have to be brave, or subtle, or creative
I agree for the most part. Kind of like the Greek/Roman Gods vs the Norse Gods. The Greek and Roman Gods were fearless because they could hardly be hurt at all, maybe just their egos bruised a bit, but the Norse Gods KNEW it was there destiny to die, and they still did what they did @ Ragnarok.
But, in Superman's defense, he did dig deep for some bravery to overcome his fear of Doomsday when they chunked the second time (although Supes got his clock cleaned). I lent the graphic novels to a friend a few years ago, so you'll have to forgive me if I can't remember the name of them. There were three, I believe. Bad art, but interesting origin of Doomsday. Anyone remember the name of these?
Spread the RC luvin'
> just gadgets with names that start with Bat-
Are you ripping on cool gadgets just because they start with a prefix? You must not use KDE much.
Would one fish beat two fish?
Would red fish beat blue fish?
This looks more like a lame /. poll spinning out of control than an interesting discussion. But while we're at it:
Who would win in a bloodsport deathmatch?
- Comic Book Guy
- Pikachu
- The Brain
- Rosie O'Donnell
- CowboyNeal
It has to be Superman, since Batman could only win using Cryptonite. And Cryptonite, alas, is only available in Bagdad, where not even Bruce "Inspectorman" Wayne has access.
The same goes for "Jesus Christ" too... not that I have ever seen a depiction that shows him as non-white. Also, Jews didn't have names like we do now, so what is the deal with "Jesus Christ?"
To get back on topic:
Alien vs. Predator is the only interesting one. Batman vs. Superman needed a lame plot device (giving kryptonite) to make seem 'plausible.' And I have no interest in Freddy vs. Jason.
Considering its already happened at least once, in the book 'The Dark Knight Returns' a 50ish Batman defeats a 50ish Superman.
Superman is not a good fighter, he just flies in and smashes, relying on his powers to defeat anything in his way.
Batman, who has no real powers except for being really tough has to use his brains and skills that he has learned in his life time. Batman has WayneTech to give him all his little toys such as little green rocks that Superman can't stand.
Forever live the fighters!
This Question appeared in my Forum a few months back. It asked an interesting question about superman.
We all know Superman. The last son of Krypton. We know his strength is derived from the earth's yellow sun. We know that contact with kryptonite (chunks of his former world) and filtering of the yellow sun's rays, making it a red sun, will drain Superman of his powers. THe question arose, what if someone filtered out the Yellow sun, making it a red sun like his home world, AND had Kryptonite? Would Superman die? Would he lose his powers more quickly? Or would a double negative take effect and he remains unharmed and retains his powers?
In Soviet Russia, Trojan exploits YOU!
In Dark Knight, by Frank Miller, Batman kicked Superman's ass big time. Then, in JLA, R'as Al'Ghul (correct sp?) stole batman's profiles of the JLA with the ways of neutralizing each of them, and proceeded to swiftly remove them from the picture (for Batman he stole his parent's bodies, and he went nuts). In short: Batman will beat anyone you care to throw at him (well, he may have some trouble with Lobo, if only because he is more Bugs Bunny like in that he takes a lickin' and keeps a' kickin)
--
Overcaffeinated. Angry geeks.
Yoda...the other green meat.
On a side note, remember "Disloyalty is the Greatest Sin Of All, Little Wooden Boy!" (para-quoted from "The Tick", who would bumble into kicking all their asses)
Did I mention that I agree with the guy that said Drunken Brawl = Superman, Planned event = Batman
While we're wondering about this, can I just step in and ask: how many angels will fit on the head of a pin?
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
Bats wins... no question about it. Even without Miller's Dark Knight Returns. Did anyone read the Tower of Babael storyline from JLA about a year ago? Batman is the one hero that all other hero's fear, even Supes. With good reason too... he has a plan for all contingencies.
It's probably been done before, but imagine Kal-El dropping down on Earth, but in Nazi Germany, not the U.S. Nazis train him to become their supersoldier, their ubermann.
In the U.S., Bruce Wayne is a major contributor the war effort, and does his Batman thing. When he hears of the this "superman" laying waste to many of his finest weapons supplied to the Allied effort, he does a little research and takes on this new menace, personally.
Now THAT would be an interesting Batman/Superman story, hero and antihero, and without Superman's current morality limitations. Nazi Supes would crush Batman without a second thought unless Batman was very, very careful.
Vos teneo officium eram periculosus ut vos recipero is.
"I bet I'll get blamed for this." --Mayor Quimby
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
WORST FILM EVER!
More importantly, I thought one of the editors (Hemos?) said there would be no Flash ads on Slashdot. Here I see one on the page for "Business Time Machine" completely with flashy graphics. I'm really trying to keep from blocking ads because I like reading this site and support them, but Flash ads are like pissing in a user's face. http://ad.doubleclick.net/adi/N815.osdn/B1060982;s z=336x280;ord=103590557103590557
ObSuperhero: Superman would of course beat the crap out of Batman. Why is this even a contest? Superman can fly, has super strength, is faster than a speeding bullet, can blow frost breath and freeze you, can shoot heat rays from his eyes, and he has xray vision among other things. He is for all intents and purposes a SUPER MAN! He is meant to be the most powerful super hero of them all yet people continually wimp him down into a piece of shit and he seems to get his ass kicked by the most unlikely of "super" villains. Give me a break! If you were Superman and you knew your ONE weakness in the entire world was kryptonite, wouldn't you go around and collect it all as your mission in life and throw it into the Sun? Batman is a techno weenie and would be naked without his stupid utility belt and gadgets. He's just a normal guy and not a super hero.
Don't you realize this article is just a advertisement. I was written to refuel interests in Spiderman this time for the home video release. I figured that ./ was anti Hollywood, was I wrong?
Yes, I know you're trying to be funny.
I'm bored. Sue me.
Batman/Bruce Wayne doesn't drink. He's a billionare, and Dick Greyson was not adopted in the comic book until about 3 months ago, and he's in no way a "boy" anymore, being a grown man in his early 20's.
http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?3357354385
"I bet I'll get blamed for this." --Mayor Quimby
Oh and can I lick your balls too?
He's Hella Tough
Mr. T vs Everything
George Reeves: dead
Christoper Reeves: stable condition
Keanu Reeves: good chance if he remembers he is superman.
Vs.
Adam West: good chance if catwoman is not distracting him.
Val Kilmer: no chance unless against Keanu Reeves, might even remember he has a kryptonite ring
Michael Keaton: best chance, will remember he has the ring
Here is a more or less thriving, egalitarian, and brilliant online community generally occupied by no less than perhaps one half of one percent of the finest minds in the world and yet all you guys can talk about is the dorkiest of dork subjects. Sheesh. Batman vs Superman? come on! brutal.
The Superman/Batman thing has been done at least three times in the comics I read as a kid, it's old now.
It's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles / Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Drunken Wedding Reception Brawl Super Special #1 that *I'm* looking forward to...
It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
Umm you forgot Tom Welling from the excellently written Smallville show on the WB.
He's as close to a pure Superman as it gets: http://www.tom-welling.net/media/Gallery/stills2_2 4.jpg.
They stole this story from last weekend's Twinkin' out with Red Mage (a weekly article on Nuklear Power). A fabulous online comic with the most amazing art....
The Right Reverend K. Reid Wightman,
I predict Barney would go medieval on his ass...
Most people agree that Batman is just a very rich guy who would be wiped out by Superman. So we need a really worthy opponent for Superman. How about Bill Gates? He is evil (so unlike with Batman Superman would have motives to wipe him out) and far richer than Batman. And we would be so happy while Superman knocks him :-)
The best part of the comic was when Batman had to face up to the JLA after the attacks and got his ass kicked out of the group. Batman explained he made the files in case the group was taken over mentally like had happened before. Showed that knowledge, planning and a lot of cunning could take down or neutralize any superpower.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. - Anais Nin
CowboyNeal vs. Eric Cartman!
'Nuff said.
You Are Being Lied To.
Do I give a shit what two comic labels are crossing over characters, Selling two editions of the book in varied-ink chromium covers ?
Okay, so Superman and Batman are both DC.. still a psuedo-applicable quote though.
Oh come on people, there's no contest at all. The one person who can kick anyone's ass is Mr. T.
And I quote:
Mr. T: [in answer to a youngster who wanted to know who was tougher, Mr. T or Batman]
Mr. T is tougher. Batman would never go into the 'hood. Mr. T will go into the 'hood.
End of story. There's also the classic "Mr. T vs. Superman" but it's not up anymore. In any event, Mr. T can kick pretty much anyone's ass.
When you have nothing left to burn you must set yourself on fire
Though, I'm obviously partial to Rai,Solar would kick all their asses...easily.
Glenn Danzig- Spent the last 10 years making Satanic music, mastering the art of Jeet Kune Do, denying rumors that he was going to play Wolverine in the X-Men movie, and beating the crap out of concert security guards with baseball bats. When he left the Misfits, they stopped being seriously evil and were instead a lame novelty group.
Rollins- Spent the last 10 years writing poetry, doing color commentary for VH1's various lame-ass top 50 shows, and doing really awful weather jokes on Comedy Central. When he joined Black Flag, they stopped being a good punk rock band and started worrying about their feelings and shit.
Guess who wins?
(oh just so this isn't -5 offtopic, I vote for batman too.)
How could you leave out The Tick?!?!?!? He is a super strong escaped mental patient. He'd absolutly dumb found any half way intelligent super hero and therefore win.
One is a rich dork in real life and his alter ego is the cool superhero.
The other one is a cool superhero naturally, but his alter ego is a dork.
Yeah, tough to see which one the Slashdot crowd would pick.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
Actually, in "The Dark Night" there is a fight between Batman & Superman.
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Batman is back after 10 years of peace. Is is 50 years old.
He makes a come back to shatters the mob. Superman is sent to stop him (political crap).
Batman wins the fight using a very special tool and "dies".
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*** end of spoiler ***
Irrelevant news and morons using moderation to mod down what they disagree on. 2018 resolution: so long.
http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html
About the original question, my bet is on Superman. Batman is an ordinary mortal, Superman is basically invulnerable. Perhaps there is a secret Kryptonite plant in the Batcave. You never know. Maybe Superman should strike before Batman gets to prepare his Kryptonite.
This reminds me of a report that Saddam Hussein has challenged George W. Bush to a duel. This way global power politics could be solved without civilian casualties. You know, those two proud men duelling it out in the desert, with the music of Ennio Morricone playing in the background.
I don't know if either of these "superheroes" has any problems with morality. This would be more like a struggle between Joker and Lex Luthor. Like the guy who says funny things against the guy who prepares secret weapons.
According to an earlier Slashdot news story Saddam actually has the amazing ability of reading his e-mail so i bet he has some other secret geek-powers as well. Perhaps this conflict could be solved by a flame war? What do you think?
It wasn't just the biomech suit, it was the fact that Superman was at ground zero during a thermonuclear explosion. Batman even tested Superman early in the fight to see if Superman had been weakened, and he had. Also the explosion darkened the skys limiting Superman's abilities since his powers are derived from sunlight.
Top 5 reasons why Goku (DragonBall) is better than Superman or any other super hero (IMHO):
(5) Number of times that Goku has been brought back to life after being killed for saving the world or universe: 2
(4) The ability to destroy solar systems with a single kamehameha (if he wanted to)
(3) Kriptonite shmriptonite
(2) Teletransportation
(1) The hair-do!
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? - Calvin
If you correctly recall your Justice League annals from the 70's the chain of command went Zan,Jana and Gleek (the Wonder Twins) or Wendy,Marvin and Wondermut (the Blunder Twins); Aquaman and Wonder Woman or Hawkman and Hawkgirl; Batman and Robin and then after everyone else was tied to traintracks or something Superman would come and save everyone. However, there was always the chance the super villian was either Brainiac or Lex Luthor who were smart enough to use cryptonite against Superman. Then the Superfriends trump card, Green Lantern, would come and save even Superman from death. Therefore I deduce Green Lantern was and is the strongest super hero of all. His ring's powers of creation seems endless in creativity and power and the ring is passed on from lantern to lantern making the character even more invincible and immortal than Superman.
If anyone here was born before 1982 and might have pick up a comic book or two. You would know that Batman Kicks Supermans blank all over the place. Yes its true, in living comic book color. In the orginial comic book searies, Batman beats Superman like a red headed step child.
Throw Ozzy into the ring. It would be very entertaining to see if he manages to stay on his feet while they are playing Paranoid to introduce him.
Jason will have to be asleep during the whole movie.
(+1 Funny) only if I laugh out loud.
I think the original poster has a valid point. And while your point is mostly true, the Celebrity Deathmatch team has gone after 'real' heroes.
Obviously hero is based on perspective, but in the ring has been Ghandi, Moses, Shakespeare, Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Ulysses S. Grant and/or Robert E. Lee (a hero to the south i suppose)
Also, lets look at a quote from Fight Club:
-Malakai
A Dragon Lives in my Garage
The same goes for "Jesus Christ" too... not that I have ever seen a depiction that shows him as non-white. Also, Jews didn't have names like we do now, so what is the deal with "Jesus Christ?"
It's an americanisation of a greek-ified Hebrew name...the original is closer to "yeshwa," simmliar to Joshua.
Alien vs. Predator is the only interesting one.
I like Batman, so I'd go see that one. Heck, I even went to see that one with Mr. Freeze in it. I'd go see Freddy vs. Jason becuase, well, because there isn't a whole lot to do in this town. But you are right...a properly done AvP would rule them all.
Thomas Galvin
Superman would have to win by definition otherwise he would not be a "super" man.... duh!
Havent read all other posts, but i remember a while back that the movie "batman vs superman" or whatever is already confirmed
Open Source Java Web Forum with LDAP authentication
The bad guys. While Superman and Batman were busy duking it out, think how much of their world domination schemes they could put in place. Not to mention, it'd be alot easier to capture the victor after the fight... ;)
How about Elric vs. Kenshin?
And i thought fox news couldn't sink any lowwer... i mean seriously people, this ISNT news!
Freud's sex addiction notwithstanding, the real point I wanted to make is that it's purely ludicrous to attempt to turn every use of otherwise innocent language into a sexual reference - as the individual did to whom I was replying. The word "endowed" is by no means strictly associated with sex or sexual organs and was clearly not used in any such sense in the post that originated this silly thread.
DFL
Never send a human to do a machine's job.
I noticed your .sig, for kanjischool.com. I am in the process of learning kanji, and this looks to be exactly something I want. I don't have any windows boxes, only unix (X11) - was wondering if you'd be willing to trade code for a X11 port?
Drop me an email if you are interested.
Yes, I know this is off-topic. No I don't want to post anonymously. Yes, feel free to waste your mod points.
Dacels Jewelers can't be trusted.
Come on guys, it's so clear.
If Batman has kryptonite, it's either a stalemate or he wins (if he gets close enough).
If Batman does not have kryptonite, he is dead. I don't care what technology he has... superman is invulnerable to everything except kryptonite.
00101010
ALLAH!!!!!
allah allah
allah allah allah
What about Nintendo characters? Is it the fat guy from Ice Hockey or the L-shape from Tetris?
http://snoot.org/toys/wuss/vg/
I too am/was a big fan of the "Merc with a Mouth." I am not really sure what's up with him though. They killed him and then changed my subscription to "Agent X." It seems the lead character may be the same guy, but does anyone know why the change was made?
I believe you're actually referring to "The Dark Knight Returns" by Frank Miller. It's a really interesting view of Batman, and as far as I know is the comic book (er, graphic novel) that influenced the modern portrayals of a dark and brooding Batman (as opposed to the Adam West Batman TV series).
Also see this comment for a link to this book at Amazon, or use this link to check it out at Barnes & Noble.
...one of the best geek questions of our generation: who win if Superman and Batman...
"Our" generation's grammar SUCKS!!!
Emacs: for people who just never know when to
Gwar would outnumber 'mr. skinny' and pummel him with a fantastic light and fire stage show.
Failure is not an option. It comes automatically enabled in every Microsoft product.
In the comics, when DC went through that whole parallel universe's thing, that Superman saw that he eventually turned into a baddie in every other Universe. (Absolute power, corrupts absolutely) Upon seeing this, he entrusts Batman with his secret, and some kryptonite should he ever whack out.
:-)
Maybe I'm way off, but I got a buddy here at work that is a Superman fanatic. Gotta get him to post
Awesome!
The Tick vs. The Incredible Hulk.
The loser: Anyone in the area who happens to own a tall building.
The winner: The local building/road construction unions.
Good judgment comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgment.
Why not throw some anime supers into the mix...
I'd love to see any of these VS any of the western supers
Jubei (Ninja Scroll)
Major Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in a Shell)
Tetsuo (Akira)
D (Vampire Hunter D)
I think Tetsuo could probably toast everyone except Superman....Though I would love to see Jubei or D take out everyone...
"Only one thing, is impossible for god: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet." Mark Twain
Not to be a karma whore, just throwing in my $.02US :-)
what can anyone do against a guy who can do anything?
i mean anything, if superman needs a solution all he has to do is think of one...
Of course he's too "moral" to turn himself ito a neuclear bomb or go back in time to kill batmans parents BEFORE they had him, but if he wanted too, and if he had enough "justification" he could do anything....
Just imagine Bush with superhero powers, how many immoral things would he do with "just reasons"?
thank god superman is smarter.
--Idiots, Every single one of YOU, A flaming mass of conglomerated morons, hey wait a second, isnt that how RAID works?
In a straight up fair fight, Supermans immense strength and speed could trounce Batman.
However, Batman is less concerned with notions of honor. Batman fights to win. Plus, the creativity shown by his gadgets could be a big help. I'd put my money on a draw, Batmans mind and greater willingness to use dirty tricks playing off against Supermans raw power. If he could get hands on Kryptonite, I'd say batman would have a slight edge, though, Superman has learned to deal with enemies who have the stuff over the years, which evens it out again.
So, I say it would be a draw, assuming a battlefield that did not inherently favor or impede either of them. Though in Metropolis, Supermans knowledge of the place would probably carry him to victory, same with Gotham for Batman.
Remember this "news" story next time you see Fox News smearing CNN for being too tabloid.
Carpe Deez
If I remember the correct form of the questionm from my childhood, it goes something like this:
Q: Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Santa Clause, an honest lawyer and a cleaning lady are all in a fight. Who wins ?
A: The cleaning lady, the others are just fictional characters.
echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln80~Psnlbx]16isb572CCB9AE9DB03273snlbxq' |dc
Why are they fighting? It is not in their characters to do so. Don't be so naive, someone else is behind this.
Between Batman, Spiderman, and Superman - Superman is the only one with SUPER POWERS. Granted spider man is strong/flexible/and has an almost useless "spidy sense", but he is no where near as strong as Spiderman and he can't fly, so if his webbing ran out he'd be stuck. Batman doesn't have ANY super powers. He just has really cool toys - like inspector gadget but in black/blue (depending on when you read your comics).
Of course as long as either one had cryptonite they could win - but if they didn't theres just no chance.
Anyway a better fight would be between Rogue and Superman since both are strong/flexible and can fly - the true test would be if rogue could suck up all his power vs. getting her face jabbed in.
God this is so pathetic I can't believe I actually just wrote all this.
Ave Molech Setting
According to Slashdot's archives, he hasn't posted since July 10th, 2002.
That said, I googlized and couldn't begin to find a homepage for him. Nor anything recent he published.
"We're sorry, but the website you're trying to reach has been disconnected."
There is indeed a dark side to Batman's character. Once Blossom chided one of her classmates saying "you can't pay to become a super hero." The response: "Oh yeah? Tell that to Batman!"
I'm still trying to figure out who would win between Superman and Wile E Coyote in a match to the death...
Here's the deal: without superpowers, just being a normal guy who's pushed himself to the very limit of human physical and mental perfection (and acquired more than a few neuroses along the way), Batman routinely does things in the Justice League that the rest of the team, with all their earth-shattering superpowers, can't even begin to comprehend. My favorite example of all this was in one of the JLA comics, where the entire league was battling a group of Martian invaders. There were maybe 7 martians, every single one of them almost an equal for Superman in sheer power. Needless to say, they were mopping up the planet with the JLA. In the final confrontation, the team split up into pairs to try and take the martians down one by one. The only ones who didnt pair up with anyone were Supes and Bats. So Supes manages to take one down all by himself after a long, hard-fought battle. Meanwhile, wonder-woman and Aquaman take one down between the two of them.. Martian Manhunter and GL take down one.. and so on.. Except for Batman. He goes off to the Batlair for a bit.. does some research, and finds out that the Martian's weakness is fire. So.. he grabs a can of lighter fluid, some matches, and sets off to catch himself some aliens. He lures three of them to an abandoned warehouse.. and spritzes some lighter fluid in a circle around him. when the martians get close enough in a radius around him, he tosses a lit match into the lighter fluid, creating a nice little enclosed ring of fire. then he smiles, and gets to work.
:)
Resolution? All the other JLA heroes show up dragging their subdued martians, everybody looking all beat up and bedraggled, and bitching about how there's still three more martians to take care of. Then someone notices Batman's not around. As they look around for him, he shows up, dragging *three* unconscious martians, and not a scratch on him, and a smile from ear to ear.
Score: Superman- One martian (and just barely at that). Batman- Three martians, without even breaking a sweat. Everyone else - maybe half a martian.
My money's on the guy in the bat suit.
"Two things are infinite: the universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the first one." - Albert Einstein
I want to see Cobra vs GI Joe...
Now that would be a fight..
oh wait.
Everybody knows who would win.
As Robin watchest the fight from afar:
;-)
"Holy you-getting-your-ass-kicked batman!"
Granted, I've never been a fan of the whole All-American aspect of superman of Superman. You get the idea that he was the bully getting cheerleader action behind the bleachers while giving Super-wedgies to the geeks in school. But the guy is a fucking alien, so of course he's going to win in a fight against anybody who isn't made of some sort of wierd ass rock
Look at it this way, who wins in all those alien vs. human stories you hear about? The human, or the anal probe?
"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
Cartoon Jackie Chan vs. Cartoon Mr. T: who would win?
Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
The Dark Knight Returns tells you all you need to know: Batman well and truly kicks Superman's ass, with an assist from Green Arrow and all sorts of high-tech gear. Then Wayne appears to drop dead from a heart attack.
The motivation for Batman challenging Superman is a bit more complex, but in a nutshell: the Man of Steel is working for the guvmint, and has been used to to stamp out vigilantism of the sort practiced by Wayne and the Green Arrow--in fact, the latter loses one of his arms after Superman rips it off. (Thus his motivation for helping Batman.) So Superman represents an oppressive, Reagan-era government, and Batman of course is the freedom fighter struggling to reclaim the streets. That oversimplifies it a lot, but it does nicely set up the climactic showdown.
http://dcboards.warnerbros.com/files/Forum119/HTML /000640.html
---
And regarding any SW-ST ... The Empire and the Federation wipe each other out, and John Sheridan sits back and smiles about how well his plan worked. Chalk up another victory for the Army of Light.
OS X:*nix for the real world.
Am I the only one that doesn't want to see these two fight? They both stand for all that is good.
What if they team up and kill Alien+Predator.
What if they team up and kill Stay-puff Marshmallow-man.
Tag-team styles.
There's my 10cents, my 2cents is free.
"Failure of Windows operating systems is extremely rare. If it happens, it is usually due to operating system file c
They did, in The Dark Knight Returns
Batman won, but then had a heart attack.
Summation 2
http://www.grudge-match.com/History/index.html
But we will have to wait until Msoft is done battling anonther superpower - the US government!
This link tells about the battle between an aging Batman, and a superman weakened by a nuclear winter.
In a way, Batman has gone crazy; crazy with doubt and violence.
Anyhow, you can read it for yourself.
Correct Horse Battery Staple: 72 bits of entropy. Enter "Correct H" into google. When it generates the phrase, that's
Why the hell somebody hasn't come up with Kryptonite Kandy i'll never know. Batman will always win because he's evil and buys all his superpowers.
...George Lucas!
That's a good idea, but considering that in the DBZ world, Goku has god-like abilities (i.e. can destroy planets and such) how would this be even remotely fair? It'd be over before it began. TMNT versus Power Rangers might be good for a laugh though. But what would those turtles do when the rangers call their robots? Steal the Terror Drome?
The Post Bros. are possibly the most powerful comic "heroes" ever. Theyve faced and defeated super and bat types.Usually in some artisticly vicious manner.The only entity with more power is probably prof. Ed, and he's busy running multiple reality levels.So hands down Superman and Batman are pretty much just lil no-one weenies in a small universe.The harsh breath of reality! sorry.
*Repent!Quit Your Job!Slack Off!The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!
Wesley Willis claims in one of his songs that he Whooped Batman's ass!!( http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Library/2459/ wesleywillis.htm )
I mean if he can do it, there is no way The-Man- Of-Steel will fall. Wesley Willis is just one Fat Bastard. Hell if he can beat Batman - sure enough I can :)
Sometimes I wish that I could use my moderator points on stories...
Are we talking Batman from Dark Knight Returns or Batman from The Amazing Adventures of Batman and Robin TV series? And are we talking Superman from Superman the Movie or Superman from Superman vs. Doomsday? This is crucial because if we're talking Adam West vs. the Superman that died at the hands of Doomsday....Holy Beasts of Burden, Batman...Mr. West is a dead man. But I think he could kick Christopher Reeve's ass.
Mordor...a magical, mythical land where women are more rare than dragons--but where every man would rather find a dragon
I would have to say "Q" from STNG would kick ass over anyone.
Sherm
Superman can barely move his left foot and he eats through a straw that is attached to his helmet.
How the hell would Christopher Reeve kill Batman?
-nd
Now, before I get modded OT, let me say I know this discussion is about the two guys in tights mixing it up. Nevertheless, I'm amazed there's a /. topic about our boy from Krypton where no one has posted a link to Larry Niven's classic essay on Superman's sex life, Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex. You can find it on varius places on the web, but this is one of the better formatted ones. You will at least snicker, perhaps even LOL.
Er, then again, maybe someone did post the link but they got modded down below all threshold. Oh, well, it's only Karma.
"Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."
Discuss.
Can't we all just get along?
RTFM; please, I beg you.
By which I mean Batman, not Superman. See this kuro5hin article for why.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
is who can beat triangle man! (They might be giants)
Everyone knows that Captain Underpants could kick all of their arses!
One word, Wolverine.
He can kick anyone's ass, and rip a Sentinal to shreds with his claws. His rage and anger is in essense, beautiful.
Plus, he has auto-heal ability:)
Offtopic sure, but two super heroes are really limiting:)
Who cares who would win a fight between Superman and Batman when Wesley Willis whooped both their asses. I would like to see a rematch between Wesley Willis and Birdman, the only one who ever kicked his ass.
That's Bigboo TAY! TAY!
The RIAA verses all of the Pissed fans that are being screwed, Or maybe Sen. Hollings Vs. Sen. Bertilsman
"Who is Lex Luthor?"
That is the enigmatic catchphrase muttered in alleys and on streetcorners as one by one, the greatest villains disappear, exposing the vicious fraud of the Superheroes by depriving them of victims.
Actually, I'm a Dark Knight/Frank Miller fan.
...he'd pull out his BatSuperman Defeater at the last minute. A couple of KAPOWs later, he'd win.
Rub it in, why don't ya?
Forget Batman and Superman, I want to see how the Z fighters(Dragonball Z) would stack up against him. Of course, their powers change over time, so I'd like to know at what points in the timeline they become more powerful than Superman, as well as comparisons to the different Superman incarnations. Now, that would be a study!
http://www.dccomics.com/features/dk2/dk2.html
If only we could pound that into a lot of thick heads down here, eh?
If Wesley Willis can "Whup batman's ass", I'd be amazed if Superman can't.
mike
Now, here is one that Fux News can get its teeth into...
RayGun, and his minions v Klinton and his girlfriends.
RayGun, with an array of button downed, broughmed and windsored knotted Junk Bond experts packing street sweepers, supported by a an amry of testosterone laden Defense plant workers with long range semi automatic military small arms and cop killer bullets.
Klinton, backed by a mess of chinoed, docksidered, Izoded Silcon Valley geeks with advanced high density ray guns and a few GPS smart bombs, backed up by sea of Women and Men of Color, recently out of poverty, with an array of small arms, incluging AKs, Uzis and Pit Bulls.
Let's see that one on Fux News
Superman is a wuss.
The only way James Bond would lose in a battle with any superhero is if he didn't have kryptonite bullets. Why? Because he's the only one who is licensed to kill and doesn't mind doing it. All the others are pansies and only kill "by accident."
The comment has already been made. Let's move it along people. Nothing to see here.
would, of course, be underdog!
feign
v. feigned, feigning, feigns
1. To give a false appearance of: feign sleep.
2. To represent falsely; pretend to: feign authorship of a novel.
3. To imitate so as to deceive: feign another's voice.
4. To fabricate: feigned an excuse.
5. Archaic. To invent or imagine.
When in doubt . . . dictionary.com
Clark Kent was raised in Kansas. They're so religious, they don't even believe in evolution! Batman, OTOH, is a rich heathen!
Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
go to www.superherochat.com
:) heh.
then the ict forum. That's where a good many people go to debate the perennial Superman v. Batman and so on different battles.
Try posting a Supes v. Bats there. I'm sure you will get a good debate....
Dont forget, Bruce also mentioned that he put a large chunk of cash into research to replicate and manufacture kryptonite. It took him years, but eventually he was able to make some. (Giant krypton-gloves, kryptonite arrows for green arrow..)
---- Anyone can act smart, but it takes a smart person to act stupid. ----
*Point of Order: Man's conception of time is dictated by the Earth's rotation on its axis AS WELL AS it's rotation around the axis of the Sun. Since the Earth's rotation is dictated by the gravity of the Sun (and not the other way around) Superman could not possibly reverse the order of time by simply flying around the Earth. There is a loophole in the loophole.
(This post does not contain emoticons or l337.)
That Batman doesn't have real superpowers either.
Don't Superman's powers come from Earth's yellow sun? In that case, would it be possible to diminish Superman's powers with an attack analogous to the attacks against Birdman (before he became an attorney)?
Just a fancy high-tech suit that's not as powerful as Luthor's robots.
But both Batmen have above-average reasoning power.
Will I retire or break 10K?
The "particular essay" linked in the story blurb is, um, *wrong*! The author thinks that the parents of both Batman and James Bond were killed in car accidents. Sorry, you just flunked geek pop culture and the rest of your comments cannot be worth reading.
Batman's parents were murdered in front of him as they left the movie "The Mark of Zorro".
James Bond's parents were killed in a mountain climbing accident in Switzerland (which sounds like a cover story to me, but I don't think Fleming ever did anything with it).
The guys website "Truth and Toleration" should be renamed half-remembered mistaken stuff I'm too lazy to look up".
(Subjectively)
I believe any creation of content depicting childhood fantasies is both a plus to consumers and studio execs.
Considering how shitty lots of movies are, content wise, it doesn't seem like that bad an idea.
Anyway, we all know Superman would kick the shit out of Batman.
Keeping in the context of how the story would evolve, it could be nothing other than our favorite WWF -- oops, WWE -- endings.
Whoever wins will do so because of the unsolicited 3rd party with the folding chair. Lois Lane has an affair with Bruce Wayne, thus crippling Superman mentally, so that he withdraws from the battle to let Batman be victor.
hi, I like pancakes -.-- -.-- --..
And though "fans have been drooling" about an Aliens vs. Predator flick for years, Kenny isn't expecting much.
"You devolve into making it a videogame," he said.
Uh, dude? Don't you even know where your IP's licensed?
And the brethren went away edified.
Really, thinking about it Lex Luthor is kinda the anti-Bruce Wayne. Now a match up between Bruce/Batman and Luthor... If done properly that could be a story to rival Hannibal.
Speaking of, I wonder how Batman vs Hannibal Lector would go.
What if it is just turtles all the way down?
Even though the Dark Knight books are on an alternative timeline, the Tower of Babel storyline uses the current DC universe. In it, Ras a Ghul steals Batman's plans for defeating the Justice League (which he came up with "just in case") and manages to take down the whole crew. In a toe-to-toe slugfest, Batman is the weakest of the regular JLA, but he's the best planner and tactician.
===== Murphy's Law is recursive. =====
Superman has the greatest power of any superhero: he can travel through time. Any encounter is moot, since he can erase all and any adversaries from existence by rubbing them out the day they are born (or their parents, or by tutoring them and leading them away from a life of crime, or whatever). In fact, I don't see why Superman bothers fighting anyone. He doesn't need to raise a fist to overcome any number of foes. This is also why I'm not personally a fan of Superman: it's just not interesting to me since he is, essentially, all powerful. In this case, the answer is simple! Reverse time, erase Batman from existence, and there never is a chance for the scenario you painted to play out. So, either the movie will be 5 minutes long, or I already know I won't enjoy it because of holes in the script! (gawd, that's the most obnoxious thing I've said all morning!)
Wizard magazine runs a monthly column called "Last Man Standing" that basically takes any two superheroes, or group of heroes, and asks this question every month. As I recall they came to the conclusion that Batman would win based on the previously mentioned Kryptonite angle.
...with only handguns, mines and a couple of suicide bombers allowed (no nukes)? It would definitely be a close call. In close combat, Saddam would win with no problems - he's bigger, meaner and probably knows more cheap tricks than George.
It's an americanisation of a greek-ified Hebrew name
Oh, that explains everything then... Americans must have written the King James Bible. Who would've guessed?
As a fictional confrontation, the conflict would have to be addressed within the "physics" of fiction. There are some basic laws that apply to almost all comic books, such as the victory of "good" over "evil", as defined by the expected audience. A recurring theme in Batman is an exploration of moral ambiguities, the hero forced to ask "Have I made these madmen & criminals into what they are? Have I become one of them?", while the lines between good and evil have often been much more clear for Superman. A World War era comic actually shows Superman humiliating a draft dodger in front of his girlfriend(check it out at the Library of Congress). Superman knows right from wrong and rarely stops to debate. One of his strongest appeals is that a noble and simple spirit is invincible in the face of evil. Adding that to what sql*kitten said, look for the dramatic appeal. Where is the compelling story in a good Superman using inhuman powers to defeat a mere human, who was always a troubled soul to begin with. I would look for the opposite, to see a tragic human who relies on his own intuition, intellect and training, rise up and save the world from a near god who fell from the light. I'd pay my seven dollars to see that. And of course, I would be cheering for Batman anyway. I just like his style better. It's a question of aesthetics, not who has more power.
ok, ok, the americanisation of the old-englishified version of a greekified hebrew name. Happy now?
Thomas Galvin
Why would they fight each other? They're all super _heros_ not villains. They'd be looking at each other from across the ring and suddenly fly off in different directions to save the world from something bad.
I have watched all the Alien movies and both Predator movies. In Predator 2, in the trophy case abord the Predators space ship, there are a variety of different skulls, one of which happens to be the skull of Alien. Guess we already know the outcome of that one.
This takes me back to my days of playing Villians and Vigilantes. Those of you who remember this delightful game will know what I mean. In V&V, there were two kinds of ability increases(termed A & B). B was more powerful, but it was an extrodanary power and so could be take away by certain characters. A was weaker but it was the product of vast amounts of training(and so could not be taken away). Batman was the peak of A and superman of B(with flight and invunerability). Strangely enough, however, who would win rarely had anything to do with pure power. The whole point was to be creative(Batman would lay a trap, Superman would hit someone with a Busload of nuns). I don't think we could ever tell who would win, just point out great moments.
Read Dark Knight Returns
Superman gets his butt kicked
Or maybe Howard the Duck!
Nuff said.
--
As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.
Wesley Willis.
He whooped Superman and Batman's Ass.
..because there are so many people that seriously debate things like which comic book superhero would 'win' in a battle... And have been doing so over and over for 60 years... And never get tired of it or think that all the relavent points have already been hashed out.
You gotta parody that for all its worth.
I like the vision of these two in the Dark Knight Returns:
Superman: respects authority without questioning, champion of the state and it's laws, easily manipulated by his ethics, somewhat simple-minded, suckered by authoritarian propaganda. Hard-working middle-class background. Firmly believes in democracy.
Batman: definitely questions authority, champion of individual rights, breaks laws as needed, more interested in justice than doing the right thing. Aristocratic background. Firmly believes that some people are better than others.
These two are really on different sides of the political spectrum. Batman would be a hard core Libritarian or an anarchist, and Supes would likely be a puppet for the GOP.
I've heard of "My Generation" [the Who, circa early 70s] but what exactly is our generation
AFAIK /.ters cover quite a broad age range. There might be people even as old as 30 reading ;-)
-----
For great justice!
The Jesus-vs-Santa Claus battle was never decided. Inquiring minds want to know!
a site that did fantasy matches like this all the time, visitors would vote and they would do a nifty write-up of the match. It was like electricferret.com or something. I think it ended and the creator(s?) went on to make a new site, the "league of fantasy powers" or something. Anyone knoe how good my memory is? How far off on the details am I?
I haven't read all the comments, so someone probabl already mentioned this.
--
Me: http://www.robertdhill.com/
A lot of people have already mentioned Miller's Dark Knight Returns.
No one has mentioned the JLA Tower of Babel series.
In which Ras'Al Ghoul steals Batman's secret plans for taking down all the other members of JLA.
It's quite a interesting read. In my opinion is not quite equal to DKR or Moore's The Killing Joke but definitly worth reading.
The mistakes of a clever man are equal to the mistakes of a thousand fools.
title says it all
I've seen him live many times from Black flag to Rollins band to his spoken word.
Most of my girlfriends are taler than him
..........FULL STOP.
>Superman wins. He's SUPER!
>
>
Wrong. We already *KNOW* Batman can beat Superman. Just ask DC Comics.
DC Comics made an issue years ago where this actually happened. If I remember it correctly, Batman used a piece of kryptonite and weakened Superman, then commenced to beat the living super-doo from him for something he'd done - likely being an incompetent super-fiend. I'm sure most people would guess this, since Superman is just... superman. He's blind to the facts and all about truth, justice, and the "American" way. Batman's all about getting the job done the right way, or simply about just getting it done. He uses his head.
:P The two of them, teamed up with Wolverine would be an incredible asskicking combination.
:P I was really hoping for that during the Marvel/DC crossover. Instead they did Superman vs. Hulk... bah.
On a side note, superman is just too unbelieveable. He's a bygone artifact of another era of America's history, sadly enough.
As far as deadpool is concerned... I'm thinking he and batman would get along well, what little I know of deadpool.
I wonder if Wolverine could beat up Superman, personally. Superman is the Man of Steel, and Wolverine has adamantium (sp?) claws - which can cut through steel. (I'm thinking of the earlier Superman, not the pre-Doomsday Superman that was practically invincible and nothing could touch him - which is why they killed him, to bring him down a bit) Not only that, but Wolvie can heal really quickly. Considering Wolverine has caught a blast from sentinals before, and undergone hell, I think he could do it.
What ever happened to taht crossover universe, anyway? I've not been seeing any comics from it.
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
You can slice the battle a thousand different ways with Batman winning one time and Superman the next. Superman using his many powers or Batman using kryptonite, super armor, or whatever. But it all comes down to one thing, willpower. And when it's a question of willpower Batman wins every time.
Bryan
If superman has super hearing, strength ect... He would also have super smell.
The Spleen (Mistery Men) would bring him to his knees.
I'd have to go with Kenshin on this one.
Even without all the DK references, two things:
1) The new run of JLA had Ra's Al Ghul (Batman bad guy) stealing Batman's plans to take out the whole Justice League and used them successfully. That's Superman AND Green Lantern AND Martian Manhunter AND Wonder Woman AND the Flash AND Aquaman. Top that (pity, as I prefer Green Lantern).
Mind you, "who wins" is traditionally a matter of "who does the writer need to have win". Anybody remember that "Amalgam" fiasco with Lobo and Wolverine? How much of a gyp was that, huh?
2) Do your own DeathMatch.
Get a decently customisable RolePlaying system like Fuzion (honestly, it's the Linux of RPG systems). You can get specs for Batman or Superman from a dozen fan sites (or heck, make your own, there are semi-automated character generators / assistants). Then grab yourself (Careful now) and a friend (or do both sides yourself) and go head-to-head.
One year at A-kon a fan artist drew a Dirty Pair vs. Predator picture. Adam Warren saw it and was apparently considering doing a Dirty Pair comic on it.
Who cares who wins? I gotta love seeing the DP live.
Now that's entertainment....
________________________________________ History Must Not Fall Into The Wrong Hands ___________________________________
I don't have the exact line but in any case it's recycled from many others anyhow:
One thing humans like more than a hero is seeing a hero fall.
You can bet a lot of people would enjoy this. Why do you think all the kids in the school gather round to watch a big fight?
Gohan and/or Goku would kick the crap out of all of them. There power is way beyond even Supermans. Hit Superman with a Kamehameha 4 wave and he would probably disintegrate.
If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people
One is an insane genious who stalks villians dressed as a bat, and his alter ego is a rich brooding dork.
Bruce Wayne is a personna of The Batman.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Think about it... Snoopy is friggin' immortal. How many times has he been shot down by the Red Baron? He never once died in the ensuing plane/doghouse crash. Charles Schulz has been dead for like a year now, but Peanuts (and consequently Snoopy) is still going strong in the papers. He can turn his ears into a little helicopter thing. If all else fails, he can summon Woodstock and his infinite hordes of little yellow bird-friends.
The only reason we've never actually seen Snoopy fight is because nobody's really pissed him off. If that happened, the universe would probably be destroyed or something in the titanic battle afterwards.
Superhero Smackdown, eh? This summer, my website ran Superhero Showdown! which did the same thing and Batman won.
;-)
Wonder if I should sue FOX?
Bruce Wayne..is Batman?!? OMFG!
Spread the RC luvin'
And don't forget the power of the Superman from the movie. He was able to defeat phyics itself. When Lois dies in Superman I, Superman flies around the world, reversing its spin. But instead of only making the sun rise in the West and messing with the tides a bit, this make time go backwards. Do you really think Batman, esp. movie Batman, would have a chance against him? After the first Batman movie, I think Bats even lost his martial arts skills. This one would be no contest.
And finally, what about the Superman from the latest leaked script out of WB. You know the one that makes Kypton be still around and Luthor is super too and WB told the writer to steal all the kung fu and mesianic subtext from the Matrix? That Superman would destroy Batman. At least with Superman being a brawler Batman would be able to turn every haymaker into a Judo throw and wear Supes down to the point where a knee to the groin might mean something. But if Superman ever bothered to learn some martial arts, Batman might as well retire.
and this time, for real. honestly, i don't think there is another in-coninuity tale to tell with the superman of today. perhaps the man of tomorrow will change as a character, but as he is now, he has done everything. EVERYTHING. the monthly series are getting painful just because its the same stuff. anyone else agree with me?
and for the record, frank miller is my god, and his gospel is dark knight returns. batman won. deal with a man beating a god.
smiller-time "I have two rules: I am God, and God is infallable."
What about online comic heros.
I'd vote for Baka Kitty but she's not exactly a hero.
But she'll kick badguy butt anyway.
I don't actually exist.
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Slashdot community, please notice: I am looking for a girlfriend.
Nave H. Weiss
I'm sorry, but Superman would obviously defeat Batman. Superman has superpowers. Batman just has expensive equipment and is a little smarter. But nothing Batman would throw at Superman would make a dealt in the Man of Steel. As for the "Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, any Jedi (particularly Yoda), and James Bond" comparison, I'd place them in this order of whoop-ass, from greatest to least: Yoda; other Jedi; Superman; Spider-Man; Batman; Bond. Of course, we're leaving off a lot of X-Men, the Power Rangers, Thundercats, He-Man, the Hulk, Rambo (or Rocky?!), Chewbacca, Ethan Hunt, Lieutenant Commander Data or Worf, B.A. Buracus and Austin Powers; but that's a much larger discussion!
Brodie: He's an alien, for christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him!
Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have
drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.
-- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
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