Slashdot Mirror
The Open Source Cookbook?
InspectorPraline asks: "I'm currently working on a cookbook that is intended to provide good food at a reasonable price - the kind of stuff you'd make before sitting down for a long coding session, with the occasional idea that would feed a LAN party. I've got some ideas I can put down, but the book would be quite thin, so I thought I'd put the call for submissions to Slashdot. I'm calling it 'The Open Source Cookbook,' and I'd release it under the GFDL, in PDF, ASCII text, and Word formats. Of course, I'd take submissions as comments here or via email. I'd 'publish' the book via the web once I got enough submissions to make the book at least about 40-50 pages in length or 30 recipes (whichever comes last), and as submissions came in I'd update the book. Anyway, I'm asking for submissions for the book, which could be recipes for dinners, lunches, even drinks. Two webpages that will serve as temporary homes for the project can be found here and here, and those addresses list my email as well as some submission guidelines. So, any ideas, folks?" Hey, if you ever wanted to share your favorite dishes with geeks around the world, this might be the way to do it. What great dishes have you prepared?
I guess no one ever told the Slashdot editors not to play with their food... :)
Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
Can i PLEASE be first post? I promise, no goat sex stuff!
I've got this amazing penguin dish...
--
http://www.aikiweb.com - AikiWeb Aikido Information
for the poor sysadmin of his email server. :-/
It's gonna get SPAM Raped *AND* Slashdotted at the same time
Aren't all cookbooks by their very design 'open source'?
I am artificially intelligent.
... the first post fry, some Gnu Stew beowulf tiered chocolate cake, Linux Lassi and some Apple Pie. If you are lucky you may get a recipe for Microsoftie ice cream ;)
Open source cookbook?.... Mmmm....tastes like burning....
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
Does it taste like Katz' ass??
I need to know
KTHXBYE
Ars Technica Cookbook of Bachelor Chow. (From this slashdot story.
too lazy to look it up now, but I remember a
bachelor cookbook posted at arstechnica about
a year ago or so.
You mean, like a bowl of popcorn?
The greatest thing in the world, is a nice MLT- mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky. I love that.
why not just make a web page with a database full of the recipes... let me log in and customize what recipes i want, and then create my own pdf/ascii/doc of my CUSTOMIZED cookbook?
MARIJUANA, SHROOMS, X: ONLINE?! - E
Somewhere on the ArsTechnica forums you will find a cookbook that was created by the members there. There were some pretty good suggestions, and some pretty bad ones as well
- WeaselGod
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet turbines
Keep us informed on this, it sounds interesting. I have no recipe but I'd like to give it a read when it's done.
Visit www.seriouslythough.com
I bet he's a big fat-ass... only FAT-ASSES write cookbooks...
All the time in the world to write a book, cause he can't GET LAID!!!
He should write the open source guide to getting laid... OH WAIT... HIPPIES don't get laid..
Ramen noodles drained of fluid and mixed with plenty of cheese wiz.
True genius is grasping a situation like a peice of fruit, and peircing it just right so that it drains dry.
Ahhh, the good old days.
Mawk Chicken anyone?
An "Open Source Cookbook" would simply be a list of local pizza delivery places, and the hours they're open.
;-)
Real geeks don't cook, they code.
This is my post. There are many others like it. If you don't like what you read here, go try one of the others.
1 Can of campell's Cream of Potato soup (with 1 can of milk)
1 Can Chunky Baked Potato w/bacon & chives
1 Can Baxter's Potato and Leek soup
Mix it all together, and slow-cook it for about 20 minutes (boil it for at least 5), add salt/pepper to taste!
Get the phone book. Look up a nearby pizza joint. Order. Voila! No fuss food.
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
Might check the following when Slashdot did an earlier article on a "Geek Food" cookbook by arstechnica.
4 1
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/02/01/14232
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Netcraft has confirmed: Taco-snotting is dying.
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Taco-snotting community when recently IDC confirmed that Taco-snotting accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all homosexual acts. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Taco-snotting has lost more fag practitioners, this news serves to reinforce what weve known all along. Taco-snotting faggots are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Faggot World comprehensive snotting test.
You dont need to be a Katz to predict Taco-snottings future. The handwriting is on the wall: Taco-snotting faces a bleak future. In fact there wont be any future at all for Taco-snotting because Taco-snotting is dying. Things are looking very bad for Taco-snotting. As many of us are already aware, Taco-snotting continues to lose faggotshare. White ink flows like a river of bubbly, thick jizz. The circle-snot is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core snotters.
Lets keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Circle-snotting leader Jeff Homos Masterbates states that there are 7000 snotters of the circle-snot. How many users of anal snot are there? Lets see. The number of circle-snotting versus anal snot posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 anal snot users. SnotOS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of anal snot posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of SnotOS. A recent article put the circle-snot at about 80 percent of the Taco-snotting market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 circle-snot users. This is consistent with the number of circle-snot Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of CowboiKneels walnuts, abysmal sales and so on, the circle-snot went out of business and was taken over by SNOTi who sell another troubled Taco-snot. Now SNOTi is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another gay whorehouse.
All major surveys show that Taco-snotting has steadily declined in faggotshare. Taco-snotting is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Taco-snotting is to survive at all it will be among heterosexual hobbyist dabblers. Taco-snotting continues to decay. Nothing short of a jizz-soaked miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Taco-snotting is dead.
Fact: Taco-snotting is dead.
- posted by poopbot: who doesn't like scat?
Zj3h24l6Hy Post #553
if you are putting together an open source cookbook, doncha think you should post your initial batch of recipes?
That Other Site did an almost exact article many months ago called Code Food that's worth looking at. Their aim was stuff that was relatively quick, stored well, and could be easily done in big batches. There's some genuinely good recipes in there too :)
I have a 250M MealMaster database with about
100,000 recipes if you would like a copy.
I admit that it would be hard to prune it down to 30 recipes. Mealmaster was an old DOS program. We used to collect these through FIDO.
The database is fully searchable with keywords assigned to each recipe. I haven't seen a better recipe database since.
http://ars.flyingember.com/
4 1 not too long ago...
Which was discussed here:
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/02/01/14232
I'll put up my stick-to-your-ribs recipe for biscuits and gravy after I finish my thesis....
I am concerned about any program, any piece of hardware, any treaty, any law that treats me as a consumer, not a citizen
I'm not sure if this is a clinical fact, but for me personally, eating and coding doesn't work. My brain turns to mush and it's a distraction. In fact, I find I do my best coding on an empty stomach. On ocassion I'll have a jug of water handy, but other than that, for me food + code = more bugs than a Windoze OS.
Eddy.WriteLinux.Com
That's my favorite LAN party drink by far....the Red get's you up while the vodka makes the killing oooooh so easy.....
what is with this sudden obsesion /. has with food. I thought all we needed was a pack of doritoes and jolt cola :s
Don't worry! Everything is getting nicely out of control....
Food for coding sessions, say you? Things which are easy to cook, readily available ingredients?
I code; you want me to cook too? What, and have the circus people after me? ("It codes in 5 different languages AAAAAND it cooks lasagna! Step closer!")
Thanks. If you have a list of phone numbers for fast food delivery places, I'm your man, though.
God didn't create all this in 6 days AND cook. _Someone_ must have been delivering, even back then.
Blearf. Blearf, I say.
look at their web site.
I'm the stranger...posting to
Jeez.
...they order delivery sushi!
Mmmm.....delivery sushi in San Francisco.......
I am watching the counter go up and up and up and up... at the third link. It's really amazing!
Before I got married I ate the following.
Tuna Mac
1 can of tuna
1 can of macaroni and cheese
1 tsp black pepper
Cook macaroni like you normally would. When done cooking drain tuna and mix with macaroni. Pepper to taste.
Dennisons Chili Chimichanga's
1 Can of dennisons chilie
3 cups of shredded cheese
6 flour tortilla's
Use equal amounts of cheese and chili and wrap the ends. Fry in a pan till golden brown.
Chili Relleno's
2 tblspoons of flour
1 egg white
1 Can of whole green chili's
Cheese cut into sticks.
Mix the flour and egg white. Stuff the chili pepper with a stick of cheese, then dip in the batter. Fry in a pan until it is brown and the cheese is melted.
Open source Salsa
Everyone brings the hottest chili's they can find. Add tomato paste and chilis to a food processor. Mix until you have a nice salsa like texture. Have a contest to see who can eat the most.
--toq
you can't fade me.
Rack of goatse.cx
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
While we're on the subject of cooking, why don't you whip up a real server for the cookbook?
Honestly--putting something on geocities and linking to it from slashdot...
Less time in culinary class, more time in networking 101.
Is this a good topic for the Recipe Troll or WHAT?
The best cooks in the world dump things in until it looks, feels, and tastes right. Their measuring cup is a scoop only. It takes YEARS of practice to get this good, I've managed to do a few meals this way that turned out great, but many that were about what you can get anywhere, and a few disasters.
Good cooking takes time. Be prepared to spend time at it. It is all worth it when you get a compliment from someone you want to impress. (S.O. or clients) However you have to make the mistakes on your own first. (The good S.O. will wait them out, the clients never will)
Note though that there are a few things that tolerate NO variance at all, and you must get them perfect. In those cases make sure you measure by weight, not volumn.
My boyfriend introduced me to this delicious, no-bake confection, which can be found commercially, but it's simple to make them on your own. There are a couple of different recipes; the essentials are a base composed largely of graham cracker crumbs, chopped nuts, and coconut, topped with a layer of custard, with chocolate spread atop that. I haven't the recipe with me, however.
hyacinthus.
Been there, done that
Not an EXACT duplicate, but the answer to his question is "rip off every recipe mentioned in this book".
Been done.
Wanna do it better? Listen to the poster who said you should make a web accessible database of recipes. Then anyone can search based on available ingredients ("what can I make with this crap in my pantry?"), dish-name ("what can I bring to a theme-potluck?"), and holiday affilation (obvious applications).
Austin is more fun than Dallas.
>> good food at a reasonable price - the kind of stuff you'd make before sitting down for a long coding session
I would like to beat you about the head with a large frying pan, you pathetic wannabe, wank-stain. "Long coding session", give me a fucking break, why did you have to work that in? Why don't you stop playing with your dick and instead concentrate on moving out of your parent's place. Real coders get one with business and *code*. btw what have you written during these long coding sessions? My guess is your sessions consist of jacking to bangbus mpegs. Loser.
The caffeine temporarily offsets the effects of the booze, but it gets metabolized faster - so you end up drinking a lot, thinking it isn't effecting you, and then the caffeine wears off. The booze hits very hard, very fast, when that happens. Not safe. And more importantly, Red Bull is vile stuff.
I'm the stranger...posting to
For a coder there are two types of food. Pizza Jolt Thats a well rounded meal.
(It's possible to make it about 5% better with real salsa, but the hell with it, I use Pace because I DON'T want to chop for an hour!)
1 large jar Pace brand medium picante sauce (yellow lid, the red lid stuff's too hot even for me!). Use the thick variety for dips if you can find it, as the lime juice makes it drippy otherwise.
2 large (Florida) avocados, ripe so they peal easily.
Celantro, about 1 tablespoon, finely chopped.
Parsley, same quantity (optional, but the celantro is necessary!).
Juice of 2 limes or lemons (use one if you can't find the dip kind of Pace Picante).
Salt, pepper, and red hotsauce, to taste.
Fritos "Scoops" brand chips (no other kind will do!)
Mix Celantro, salt, pepper, hotsauce, and parsley with peeled avocados using a fork, while it is still too chunky add the picante sauce and keep mashing the mixture with a fork. Remember, you can easily add more picante, but it's tough to subtract, so make it for the person who likes "spicy" the least, if you're being polite. This recipe is great to modify slightly, my last batch was "garlic guac" because I had some roasted garlic left over -- delicious. Have fun.
JMR
Try e-gold - (contact me). I'm NOT e-
Here is a photo plus the recipe, in case anyone wants to link to it. It doesn't take much preparation but takes a long cooking time, so halfway through your all night coding session you'll have a good meal.
PostModern Casserole
Ingredients
1 package sobe noodles
1 green pepper
1 onion
1 measurement quinoa
2 measurements nutrional yeast
1 measurement thyme
1 quantity tempeh
1 spoonful rocoto salsa*
Preparation
Cut green pepper,onion and tempeh.
Fry the onion and tempeh on low heat in some oil.
Cook sobe noodles quite al dente.
Pour noodles and water into crock pot (you better not have too much water)
Dump pepper, onion, tempeh and quinoa into the crock pot.
Mix in thyme, rocoto and nutritional yeast.
Sprinkle layer of nutritional yeast on top of food.
Place lid on crock pot and leave on low for a few hours, or on high for less time.
It's done when the quinoa is cooked, there is no sitting water and you're hungry.
Optional
Add corn and calamata olives.
* not meant to be too hot. remember - good hot stuff is tasty first, hot second.
one more thing, it's vegan and has enough fiber for even CowboyNeal.
-f
www.blackant.net
Callamon wrote:
> but it's a really good and easy to make potato soup.
>
> 1 Can of campell's Cream of Potato soup (with 1 can of milk)
> 1 Can Chunky Baked Potato w/bacon & chives
> 1 Can Baxter's Potato and Leek soup
You can make potato soup out of nothing more than potato soup, potato soup and potato soup? Astonishing.
Perfectly Normal Industries
Okay, go in to 7-11, grab a big gulp cup and fill it with chili from the chili pump by the hot dog machine.
Now buy a bag of your favorite chips. When you get to the LAN party, lay your bag of chips flat, and cut the bad long ways up the middle, disection style. Now poor in the chili baby! While this certainly doesnt wont improve your online kill ratio, it will definately affect the offline kill ratio of those around you.
This might be a somewhat regional drink, since when i was out in PA last year i had to teach the bartender how to make one, and the guy next to me at the bar thought i was from kansas since i ordered one (kansas is sorta close to fargo i guess). but anyway to make a bulldog take a glass full of ice put a shot of vodka (or rum for a rumdog), a shot of kahlua, a shot of cream or half/half, and top the glass off with coke. Tastes like chocolate milk. mmmm
Wang33
PAGERANK++ Robsell.com
1 lb spaghetti, or other pasta
1 lb of hamburger
1 little can of tomato paste
about a cup of ketchup
about a cup of spaghetti sauce
about a half cup of water
1 onion
oregano
salt and pepper
-Chop up the onion into little pieces, or slivers, or whatever.
-Start the spaghetti boiling in a big pot.
-Brown the onions in a big skillet with a little butter or oil until they are cooked.
-Add the hamburger to the skillet with the cooked onions and brown that. Salt and pepper the hamburger.
-After the hamburger is done, add the water, oregano, tomato paste, spaghetti sauce, and ketchup. Don't skimp on the ketchup, it's the secret ingredient.
-Simmer that a while on very low heat
-after the pasta is done cooking, mix it up with the sauce.
-Eat.
It's a little tastier than the regular spaghetti sauce/hamburger and pasta combination. This recipie is open source. Feel free to modify the quantities and/or actual ingredients to suit your curiosity. If you serve it to friends and they like it, you are obligated to tell them how to make it if they ask.
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
And it's already formatted for publishing!
Kids these days...
You mean ice cream plus alcohol is not food?
Don't Tread on OpenSource
This sounds like a great idea! Why didn't
someone think of this before.
Turns out they did. Google returns ~4,800
hits on the Usenet cookbook.
That ought to give you a good starting point.
One night while playing Talisman with a group of my friends, we discoverd that if you start oozing the easy cheese into a bowl of kettle korn. The string of cheese will not break off. It will pick up a bunch of the kettle corn where you than can dump the whole cheese string of kettle corn into your mouth. No fuss no muss.
:-)
and yes we were all high.
make a LOT of noodles, beans and chicken wings. put em in the freezer in small bags that are enough for one meal. then, when you want food, take the bag out, put it in the sink, pour some hot water on it for 5 mins and wait till it's ready. served with some sauce
Geeks cant cook for shit and we need something easy but good cus thinkgeek doesnt have drive-thru food :(
Delicious with Spaghetti Code.
Jeff
Ars made a bachelors cookbook a few months ago........ that might help...
h iv e-1-2002.html#newsitemEpEkVkpluEycMaNPsj
http://arstechnica.com/archive/newspro/news-arc
http://ars.flyingember.com/
SONY. Because caucasians are just too damn tall.
You need per person:
Start boiling water (as this is the the task that takes longest to complete), put some salt in the water (a tablespoon).
Split the tomatoes open, get rid of all the watery goo and seeds so only the firm flesh of the tomatoes remain. Chop them as finely as you can be bothered to.
Put some oil in a frying pan, put the pan on the heat and finely chop the garlic. Put the garlic in the pan, and then before it turns brown (that is after 10 seconds) add the tomatoes.
When the water boils, add the pasta. If you don't turn down the heat very much, so the water continues to boil violently you don't have to stir very much ;-)
Keep stirring the tomatoes around until they turn soft and start looking a bit like sauce. Check if the pasta is finished by getting a strand out of the boiling water once in a while and biting it. If it doesn't have a hard core, it's finished.
Get rid of the water for the pasta. Add tomatoes to pasta, add some extra virgin olive oil and stir. Put on plates, sprinkle with grated chese and some leaves of basil if available...
There you go, one of my favourite easy dishes...
The interactive way to Go -- http://www.playgo.to/iwtg/en/
Why do you need an entire cookbook to write "A bag of chips and a frozen pizza?"
In all seriousness, I don't know how useful this'd be, but I'd print out a copy just for the heck of it...
1 Box of Kraft Mac 'n Cheese
1 Can Campell's Cream of Mushroom soup
1 can of Starkist Tuna in spring water
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup milk
Some crushed potato chips (ruffles work best)
Preheat oven to 350. Boil and drain the noodles (do not rinse).
Mix in the cheese powder, milk, butter, tuna, and soup with the noodles, and pour into a casserole dish.
Sprinkle a layer of crushed potato chips on top. Bake uncovered at 350 for 30-45 minutes.
Use more butter if you want it a little sweeter, and more milk if you want it creamier.
1 cup of whole milk
1 cup of chocolate ice cream
1 cup of sugar
5 tbsp of chocolate syrup
750g of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup of chopped celery
Melt the chocolate chips in a double boiler on low. Once melted, slowly stir in sugar.
Empty the cup of ice cream into a small bowl and blend the it with the cup of whole milk. Once thick and frothy, pour the syrup evenly over the top of the mix.
Finally, discard the small bowl and eat the cup of celery. If you actually looked at that recipe above and thought "That sounds like a good recipe" you probably need the celery.
My personal favorite is nachos. Any topping will work. There's a really good store for spicy chips, salsa, nacho cheese and chipotle bean dip. I first discovered this place in Door County, Wisconsin. Their online store is here.
We're Doomed
(10-15) Cups Grits, Hot
(1) Natalie Portman
Slather until well covered.
Enjoy!
Happy Troll Tuesday!
I've been using home computers since the VIC-20 and I've come to dread and fear the possibility of being forced to adopt Linux as a result of Microsoft's heavy-handedness. After being hyped by friends and co-workers about the pleasures of this great and fantastic open-source operating system, I attempted to load Linux, not once but four times on three year old PC that was previously running Win98.
The first time took me about an hour to realize that I had to reformat the hard disk and wipe out years worth of work (after backing it up on CD-R). Then I had to figure that the only way to get the Linux CD to actually start loading was to boot it from the CD by modifying the CMOS settings as the PC was starting up. A simple line suggesting this that could have been printed on the CD would have saved a lot of time!
After loading a whole gigabyte of stuff onto the empty hard drive (do I really need to load 50 megabytes of TeX fonts when I'm just trying to get a demo of Linux????), the entire process halted when the floppy disk drive didn't respond. The Linux loader demanded a working floppy backup of some obscure file be made and since I've never used the floppy drive, I didn't know that it didn't work. The installation process locked up and I had to reboot.
The reboot left me in UNIX hell: a black screen half filled with incomprehensible characters with a single flashing dollar sign as the only indication that the entire PC was still working. No matter what I typed or tried (simple intutitve commands like 'help' 'review' 'exit' 'restore' 'dir' 'What the fuck is happening?') nothing made any intelligent response except for returning me to the flashing dollar sign. Shit! I'm in Dante's seventh circle of hell for misers. I was forced to reformat the hard drive and reinstall Windows in order to confirm that I still had a working PC.
I bought a new floppy drive that I will never use in order to load this wonderful and fantastic operating system. Reformated the hard drive, reset the CMOS, and loaded a whole gig of worthless junk from the penguin CD. Everything loaded and I made all of the selections for keyboard and mouse ect... The system rebooted and got to the point where it should have started to work and simply stopped. No response to mouse, keypress, or anything. I reloaded Windows (it worked perfectly) and decided to load Linux on my new good computer.
I ended up back bashed back in UNIX hell and having to load Windows and ALL of my programs and files from CD backups, which took hours. I convinced that Linux is some kind of really bad joke or else an 'emperor's new clothes' type of mass hallucination. How can anyone with a pretension of being a computer professional seriously believe or claim that this junk is ready to take on Windows?
- posted by poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!
Xhg8RO6Cw4 Post #556
Take 2 chicken breasts, boil them in water until cooked thoroughly.
Drain water, dice into small, bite size chicken pieces. It's ok to kind of shred it into chicken fragments.
Add 1 stick of Philly Cream Cheese, 1 16oz. bottle of your favorite salsa.
Cook over low heat until cream cheese melts. Stir frequently.
Serve with tortilla chips.
This makes the best salsa you'll ever taste in your life, plus it only takes about 15 minutes. Perfect for the LAN party, or just for munchies for any occasion. Try it, it's really simple to make and tastes awesome. All of my friends that have tried it begged me to tell them how to make it, even the ones that don't know how to cook.
"When the president does it, that means it's not illegal." - Richard M. Nixon
I've also cooked hot dogs using 1000W heat guns for heat-shrink tubing. Not as much fun as using 120V, but still very effective.
One of the members over at Ars Technica has done a similar thing by compiling a PDF of bachelor chow from their forums:
http://ars.flyingember.com/Ingredients:
Top-Ramen or other brand - Pork Flavor.
Worstishire Sauce - to taste (1 tea-spoon)
Sugar to taste (1 tea-spoon)
Prepare:
Boil noodles until tender, drain, add half of flavoring packet
Add Werstishier sauce and sugar to taste. Mix to coat and enjoy.
Cultural Note: Worstishire sauce is a western copy of Ease-Asian fish sauce. It shares the same roots as English Brown Sauce and Tomatoe Ketsup and Portuguese Fish Sauce.
Real dried Yakisoba can be purchased at most Japanese food stores - It's made by Nissin and has the English word 'BIG' written large on the package.
This recipe is primarily for those who live far from said store.
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
attn. everyone here: RecipeTroll (parent of this post) has a large selection of recipes in his user history. read, cook, enjoy.
sulli
RTFJ.
... but it was gone. Bugger.
o ease of preparation -- so you know whether you're really up for it when it's later than you want to be using your brain for much
o calorie count -- I'd love to see a book with a list of all of its recipes arranged by total calories (in an appendix of course; wouldn't make a very good basic organization)
o basic taste category -- each item might be in more than one category, but they could include things like:
o Origin -- by part of the world, and if possible, time-frame. I like cookbooks that have lots of lore about the foods they describe.
o Time to Prepare, with categories like:
o Messiness:
Good luck with this project!
jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
I'm no nutrition expert, but what I do know is that if you're about to start a long coding run you're going to need some food that'll give you a good slow release of energy and isn't too heavy so it won't make you feel drowsy. I am speaking, of course, of pasta.
Tuna Mayonnaise Pasta
1 small tin of tuna
2 tblsp mayonnaise
100g pasta
Boil the pasta as directed. Meanwhile empty the tuna into a bowl, mash with a fork, and mix in the mayonnaise. When the pasta is cooked, stir in the tuna mayonnaise mixture.
You can also add some finely chopped spring onion, or sweetcorn, or peas, or anything you like, to liven it up a bit.
This is probably my all-time favourite recipe. It's incredibly simple and quick, it tastes great and I've produced some of my best work on it. :-)
--
Karma: Chameleon (you come and go)
...a recipe for CmdrTaco(s).
Nothing is cooler than seeing the 'fiction' taken out of science fiction.
Crumbs'n'cheese
Prep Time: 2 minutes
Instructions:
Take one (1) almost empty doritos bag.
Crush all the remaining chips into a very small pieces while still in the bag
Pour the crushed contents of the bag into a cereal bowl
Add generous amounts of sharp cheddar cheese
Mix thoroughly (hand mix for best results)
Microwave on high for thirty (30) seconds.
Stir (do not hand stir, contents will be hot)
Microwave on high for an additional thirty (30) seconds.
Remove from microwave and enjoy.
This recipe is released for licence under the GRL (GNU Recipe License).
--------------
P.S. Don't let your significant other see you doing this.
---- El diablo esta en mis pantalones! Mire, mire!
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They claim they don't, but they do, wonder why their are so many trolls, crapflooders and lamers on slashdot, because they are fighting for their rights! Slashdot is trying to silence the trolls. Remove the filters, the trolls get bored, and slashdot will be troll free!
- Lameness filters (It blocks a lot of legitmate posts)
- Unnessary posting delays. Hasnt taco learned to touch type? A lot of posts are typed in less than 20 seconds and it is a ANNOYING DELAY! 2 minute ban? Come on, so some are faster then others, big deal, some people have more to say than others
- Broken moderation system, The whole point is to sort the gems from the crap, yet a lot of posts designed to make a LIVELY DISCUSSION are MODERATED as flamebait! Come on, not everyone likes X, but just because some one bashes it dosent mean its Flamebait. Flame bait is more useful for DIRECT INSULTS and not legitmate discussions.
The "troll" moderation reason is fragmented and broken, why? Because they are trying to use an obsolete usenet term on a realtime discussion, "trolls" can cover a huge blanket of ideas.- Crapfloods, a meaningless flood of random letters or text, which the lameness filter does a crappy job at trying to stop, besides trolls have written tools using the opensource slashcode to generate crapfloods which bypass the filter
- Links to offensive websites, the most common one is known a http://www.goatse.cx, a awful site which shows a bleeding anus being stretched on the front page. Trolls sneak these links in by posting messages that look legitimate, but infact are sneaky redirects to the site. Common examples include rd.yahoo.com, www.linux-kernel.tk, goatsex.cjb.net, and googles "Im feeling lucky".
- Trying to break slashdot, this is actually a good thing, as it helps test slashdot for bugs. Famous examples include the goatse.cx javascript pop-up, the pagewidening post and the browser crashing post!
Subnet banning, this bans a user unless they email jamie macarthy with their mp5ed ipids. This is unfair, and banning a subnet BLOCKS A WHOLE ISP SOMETIMES, and not that individual user! This can cause chaos! But real trolls use annoymous proxys to get around this so THIS JUST BANS LEGITMATE USERS! Also, they are trying to censor some anoymous proxies, mainly from countrys like africa, so this yet more DISCRIMINATION!But, the issue that concerens us the most, is the COMMENT QUOTA. A discrimatory system that stiffles discussion, cripples the community and will ultimateley destroy slashdot unless it is removed! Annoymous cowards are allowed only 10 posts a day! This is unethical! Users with negative karma only get two! That is DISCRIMINATION! How would you like to only be able to speak once a day, just because of the color of your skin. That would be racism, and slashdot is discrimitating on people just because of a negative number in a database! BOYCOTT SLASHDOT! LET THEM DIE!
We wan't these stupid useless restrictions REMOVED! This comment will be posted again and again until it does!
Inportant imformation for users
Boycott slashdot, they are pissing over their community, they are becoming like the RIAA and MICROSOFT! Do NOT TOLERATE THIS SHIT! Here are some real news for nerds sites. We don't need slashdot, slashdot deserves to die!
MSNBC
BBC NEWS
News.com
Linux online
Linux daily news network [linuxdailynews.net]
Weird news from dailyrotten.com
Trollaxor, news for trolls, they are real people too!
CNN.com
New york times (free registration required)
LINUX.com
News forge
K5
Mandrake forum
Toms hardware
The register
Kde dot news
The linux kernel Archives
Adequecy
There are hundreds more, But this is where slashdot STEALS THE MAJORITY OF its "news" from.
Punish them, here are their emails, spam them, flame them goatse them!
Rob malda
Jamie Macarthy
ChrisD
Hemos
Micheal
Pudge
The others ones apperantly dont have an e-mail, probably because ROB MALDA IS PRETENDING HE IS JOHN KATZ.
Thank you for reading this, please feel free to repost this information, please reply to add your comments, fight slashdot and its CENSORSHIP
Don't forget to sign the petition!
- posted by poopbot: news for turds, stuff that splatters
kvCfbI6Q9z Post #557
You can't have an open-source cookbook without the ever-famous Nieman Marcus cookie recipe:
2 cups butter
4 cups flower
2 tsp. soda
2 cups sugar
5 cups blended oatmeal**
24 oz. chocolate chips
2 cups brown sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 8oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
2 tsp. vanilla
** measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla; mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar and nuts. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!!
-a
How to rationalize theft.
All the programmers at my workplace have been turned on to sushi lately -- finally, food you can order that doesn't exasperate that ulcer that any programmer who has gone through a few product cycles in the games industry is bound to develop...
The interactive way to Go -- http://www.playgo.to/iwtg/en/
You know on first glance i really thought this story was about the Anarchist Cookbook, freely available on the net etc...Oh well.
Anyway here's my suggestions:
Coffee with chocolate melted into it
Coffee and Red Bull
Who needs food anyway?
Everything sucks except musicandstuff
The booze hits very hard, very fast
Man, I thought that was totally the desired effect! Love that stuff, but I agree that after a couple, the Redbull taste is kind of, how shall I say, sickly. Completely masks the alcohol though!
- posts may be recorded for legal or training purposes. Thank you for your co-operation.
go to:
:-)
http://eserver.org/recipes/
Just to show my age and how old an idea this is, I remember when you used to be able to get the USENET Cookbook in unix man page format. Now that's what I call a geeks cookbook
Taco Bell. Perfect for cheap geeks looking to slaughter each other at a LAN party. Scrape some money together and send someone to get some of those 10 packs of tacos or burritos. Works every time. Oh and plenty of Mountain Dew.
is truly even better
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Credits: onby
1. Introduction
As everyone knows, Open Source software is the wave of the future. With the market share of GNU/Linux and *BSD increasing every day, interest in Open Source Software is at an all time high.
Developing software within the Open Source model benefits everyone. People can take your code, improve it and then release it back to the community. This cycle continues and leads to the creation of far more stable software than the 'Closed Source' shops can ever hope to create.
So you're itching to create that Doom 3 killer but don't know where to start? Read on!
2. First Steps
The most important thing that any Open Source project needs is a Sourceforge page. There are tens of thousands of successful Open Source projects on Sourceforge; the support you receive here will be invaluable.
OK, so you've registered your Sourceforge project and set the status to '0: Pre-Thinking About It', what's next?
3. Don't Waste Time!
Now you need to set up your SourceForge homepage. Keep it plain and simple - don't use too many HTML tags, just knock something up in VI. Website editors like FrontPage and DreamWeaver just create bloated eye-candy - you need to get your message to the masses!
4. Ask For Help
Since you probably can't program at all you'll need to try and find some people who think they can. If your project is a game you'll probably need an artist too. Ask for help on your new Sourceforge pages. Here is an example to get you started:
"Hi there! Welcom to my SorceForge page! I am planing to create a Fisrt Person Shooter game for Linux that is going to kick Doom 3's ass! I have loads of awesome ideas, like giant robotic spiders! I need some help thouh as I cant program or draw. If you can program or draw the tekstures please get in touch! K thx bye!"
Thousands of talented programmers and artists hang out at Sourceforge ready to devote their time to projects so you should get a team together in no time!
5. The A-Team
So now you have your team together you are ready to change your projects status to '1: Pre-Bickering'. You will need to discuss your ideas with your team mates and see what value they can add to the project. You could use an Instant Messaging program like MSN for this, but since you run Linux you'll have to stick to e-mail.
Don't forget that YOU are in charge! If your team doesn't like the idea of giant robotic spiders just delete them from the project and move on. Someone else can fill their place and this is the beauty of Open Source development. The code might end up a bit messy and the graphics inconsistant - but it's still 'Free as in Speech'!
6. Getting Down To It
Now that you've found a team of right thinking people you're ready to start development. Be prepared for some delays though. Programming is a craft and can take years to learn. Your programmer may be a bit rusty but will probably be writing "hello world" programs after school in no time.
Closed Source games like Doom 3 use the graphics card to do all the hard stuff anyhow, so your programmer will just have to get the NVidia 'API' and it will be plain sailing! Giant robot spiders, here we come!
7. The Outcome
So it's been a few years, you still have no files released or in CVS. Your programmer can't get enough time on the PC because his mother won't let him use it after 8pm. Your artist has run off with a Thai She-Male. Your project is still at '1: Pre-Bickering'...
Congratulations! You now have a successful Open Source project on Sourceforge! Pat yourself on the back, think up another idea and do it all again! See how simple it is?
- posted by poopbot: the bot formerly known as pwpbot
9QY82K8yHx Post #558
Take a tortilla and cover it with cream cheese. The put some minced green chiles and black olives on top. Heat it up slightly to make it a little warm and easy to roll. Roll it up like in a log, and cut it like sushi. Serve flat so that you can see the spiral. Easy and cheap to make, and it tastes wonderful!
You can obviously do this with more than one tortilla if you want more yeild.
Shouldn't that be "Open Sauce"?
Credits: BankOfAmerica_ATM
SUBJECT: GREAT STOCK OPPORTUNITY!!! help me Get Big Brands on eBay I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM! PENTIUM III CPU's IN STOCK
END TRANSMISSION.
- posted by poopbot: crapflooding since 7/8/02
ew6dQNyie6 Post #559
This is one I used to whip out after the AD&D games broke up......It's actually realllllly good.
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can tuna
toast.
make the soup.
dump in the tuna
make the toast
pour the tuna/mushroom stuff over the toast.
It's bizarre, but good.
Of course there is always Ramen with Bac-o's
Why, yes, I AM a Pagan Libertarian.
Anyway, the biggest and best recipe archive is SOAR (Searchable Online Archive of Recipes) which used to be hosted at Berkeley and is now here.
How could they miss the Gallery of Regrettable Food?
http://ars.flyingember.com/
There are some pretty good recipes in there!!!
Check it out!
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Put pork chops in a pan with the heat turned on to medium. Season them on one side. Cook them until they're done on that side and flip them over. There will be a lot of juice in the pan because the heat isn't high enough for it to burn off. The pork chops get really tender and taste really good.
Beafy Beanie Weenie
cooking time 5 minutes
1 can Cambells Condensed Beef Soup (don't add water)
1 can Pork & Beans (this replaces the water)
3 Hotdogs cut up in little circles
Add hot sauce to your taste
Mix together in a large pan or bowl
Heat the pan on the stove or pour into smaller bowls and heat in the Microwave
oven
This is very fast and very tasty fo those long coding nights where you forgot
to eat...
We are Dead Stars looking back Up at the Sky
Microwave a package of cream cheese and a can of chili together (stirring occaisionally) and serve as a tasty chili-cheesy dip. May be addictive, add tortilla chips to keep hands clean.
Comic Book Guy: "There is no Groening in my store."
What I would like to see in a cookbook is the basics, the stuff you need to understand whatever you are preparing. For example :
Good flavor associations that allways work (rice and fish, fish and white wine, white wine and stir fried green veggetables, etc...)
Get a great taste out of left overs (stir fry old soggy veggetables, turn anything into a soup with miso paste and oyster sauce, etc)
How to give 'balance' to a meal (only one meat, alternate strong and soft, salty/sweet/bitter flavours, alternate textures, etc)
etc...
Maybe O'Reilly could publish Food, the definitive guide with a stuffed turkey on the cover.
Happy Troll Tuesday!
THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN)
By Serial Troller, 2002-06-25
Is das nicht ein early post? Ja! Das ist mein early post!
Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost? Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost!
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das post at minus one? Ja! Das ist at minus one!
Is das trolling so much fun? Ja! Das trolling is so fun!
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein big crapflood? Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood!
Is it worthless Linux FUD? Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD!
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel? Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel!
Is dis nicht his manchode meal? Ja! Das ist his manchode meal!
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll? Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll!
Is das nicht ein Goatse hole? Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole!
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys? Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys!
Und are they not Taco's sex toys? Ja! They are Taco's sex toys!
Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread? Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread!
Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD? Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD!
Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD! Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene,
Slashdot sucks!
____________________
Change Log:
* Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
* Removed all references to Taco's pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
* Finally think I have goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?
(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
- posted by poopbot: information likes to be narrow
najYcxBdDn Post #560
Any geek worth his salt just orders out pizza and gets back to coding. Lazy cooking bastard! In my day we didn't even leave to go the bathroom, we just ... well that's another story I guess.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. -Ghandi
1 pound of ground beef
1 packet of taco seasoning
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 head of iceburg lettuce
2 ripe tomatoes
1 large onion
1 medium bottle of french dressing
1 medium bag of nacho chips (Doritos work great)
16 ounces of cheddar cheese, diced or shredded.
Brown and drain the ground beef. Add the taco seasoning and the garlic powder to the browned beef. Set aside and allow to cool.
Shread the lettuce. Dice the tomatoes and the onion and add to the lettuce.
Coarsely crush the nacho chips. Leave them in the bag until you are ready to serve the salad.
Just before serving, combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl and toss gently. Make sure to evenly distribute all ingredients.
The key is to do all the steps separately and then combine them just before you serve. This makes the salad still crunchy and that's when it tastes best
This recipe is very popular at lan parties and cookouts. It makes a large amount of taco salad, but it gets eaten quickly.
Sapere aude!
There is a great archive of recipes (more than 70,000) at RecipeSource. It's free, searchable, well-organized, and you can submit recipes too.
Before you ask, yes, they WOULD allow a cookbook. They do host documentation projects, too. This merely documents doing stuff with food.
Note to M1-ers: a curt but otherwise insightful message is not "Flamebait" or "Troll".
PIZZA
Ingredients:
- Money
- Telephone
- Phone Book
Directions:is www.ilovecheese.com
Happy Troll Tuesday!
OPEN SOURCE MISCONCEPTIONS
By Serial Troller
Myth: Open Source is written by heterosexuals.
Fact: All Open Source development is done by raging homosexuals. The more flaming examples include Anal Cox, Linus Turdballs, Eric Ass-Reaming Raymond, and the entire Slashdot crew. The ringleader of the slashdotters, a man named CmdrTaco, engages in a practice known as Taco-snotting, along with his faggot-buddies Jeff Homos Bates and CowBoiKneel.
Myth: Open Source is written for heterosexuals.
Fact: Using Open Source software can cause suppressed homosexual fantasies to surface, leading to all out flaming faggotry within 6-8 weeks. Anecdotes of otherwise hetero men turning queer are far too numerous to count, but a few examples stand out. In one case, a man was arrested loitering outside an elementary school and making sexual overtures to several children: he quickly confessed that shortly after installing the Mozilla browser on his computer, he began to have uncontrollable urges to, to put it simply, have his cock sucked off by little boys. He soon met several other like-minded men through discussions on the Bugger Zilla mailing list (all already homosexuals), who together kidnapped a total of seven children whom they brought back to their apartment and sodomized. The other two men are still at large and believed to still be using Mozilla.
Myth: Open Source is multicultural.
Fact: Open Source is openly racist.
Myth: Open Source is democratic.
Fact: Open Source is controlled by a few narrow-minded zealots (mentioned throughout this post), most of whom are either Communists, Stalinists, Nazis, or Fascists. Additionally, Open Source supports terrorism.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of religious preferences.
Fact: Open Source developers regularly engage in holy wars over the superiority of various Open Source projects, such as the Emacs program (preferred by Christians) versus vi (used mostly by neo-pagans and Satanists); or the KDE desktop (a favorite among Muslims) versus the GNOME project (particularly favored by Jews). Posts initiating crusades or jihads against other developers can be found regularly throughout the newsgroups and mailing lists.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of sexual preference.
Fact: See above. Either you are a homo, you become a homo, or you never visit Richard Stallman alone in his office and hope to God you never meet him on the street at night.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of political differences.
Fact: Open Source is an anarcho-communist philosophy bent on the destruction of capitalism. The very same Richard Stallman, a man whose name is disturbingly reminiscent of Stalin, has stated several times in public that his vision includes the subjugation of all who own intellectual properties under the jackboot of the GPL. The GPL is a pernicious piece of literature lifted straight from Karl Marxs Communist Manifesto, and is fortunately banned in many democratic nations.
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
Myth: Open Source programming is a harlmess, healthy activity.
Fact: Open Source programming has been known to lead to massive obesity, violent tendencies with an obsession with handguns, paranoid-delusional ranting, and in severe cases, complete insanity. If anyone you know is thinking about going Open Source, stop them before its too late!
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
____________________
2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
- posted by poopbot: crapflooding since 7/8/02
w8kGAGyvOe Post #561
Beer Bread is a VERY simple recipe. I will share it here.
3 Cups of Flour
2 Tablespoons of Sugar
1 Packet Yeast
1 Stick of butter
1 Can of Beer
Let the beer sit until warm. Open it and pour in the yeast. Add the sugar. Stir. Let sit for a minute.
Melt 1/2 stick of butter.
Pour flour, beer mixture, and melted butter into a bowl. Stir into batter. Kneed with additional flour until it forms a nice ball.
Let rise. (an hour or 2)
Put into greased bread pan.
Melt other half of stick of butter, pour over dough.
Cook at 300 for a hour or until a knife stuck in comes out clean.
(Note: Amount of sugar and rising time can vary, but use this unless you have got the hang of making bread. It's not hard.)
Hello!
/whois on them and copy-paste the log into an e-mail and report it to me, and I'll ban them from the channel and the server. I will keep also your information confidential.
This site is an introduction for my IRC channels.
This page was last updated Id: index.html,v 1.17 2002/07/09 22:09:42 dildo Exp
If you wish to visit my channels, you are expected to stay current with the information on this page. Ignorance of the material on this site will not be tolerated in my channels.
Before I begin, I would like to mention that I'm not a technical support person, nor am I an Internet tutor. I'm not good at teaching people how to use their computers or software or how to get on IRC. However, there are tutorials all over the World Wide Web that will help you with IRC. One such site is http://www.irchelp.org/. My channels are on DALnet, which also has its own information pages at http://www.dal.net/. The answers to most of the technical questions you'll have about IRC are probably going to be on one of those two sites.
Also, please observe proper IRC etiquette in my channels as well as in any channel you visit in general. Some etiquette tips include...
Always read the topic of an IRC channel when you enter the channel before you do anything else in that channel. If the topic includes links or triggers to display rules, be sure to read those too before doing anything else. That may be the only warning you get of any rules that the channel may have and the ops have every right to kick-ban you for not following those rules. Ignorance is not an excuse.
Treat everyone with respect. Do not type anything that is excessively violent or offensive. Refrain from foul language. Do not shout, do not repeat yourself, and do not flood the channel.
Do not pick up or propagate viruses. Never type any trigger with "//.write" in any channel. Do not send viruses, and try to avoid receiving them. More information about IRC viruses can be found at http://www.nohack.net/
Do not spam, and do not listen to spam. Never advertise porn or warez in any respectable channel. Never do anything to encourage spammers. Every time you join a channel or follow a link that a spammer sent, you're only proving to the spammers that they're right. Also, spammers will also often spam viruses. Not only are you encouraging spammers, but you may also be doing something that will compromise your machine.
Do not use the IRC invite feature to invite random people into or out of channels.
Some other general rules specific to me...
Do not talk about anything related to my server (including but not limited to this site, the server, these channels, the keys, the IPs, the list, the password) in any public or on-line medium (including but not limited to any website, any web forum, any IRC channel, any newsgroup, any chat/messenger/peer-to-peer platforms) except in #hitler-babble. Especially, do not talk about it in #nazimanufacturer, and do not privately message people about the server and the supporting server bits. If someone asks you about it outside of #hitler-babble, please let me know.
Do not give, share, or trade the channel keys, the channel information, or the site information. If you want to share, please download the files and share the files instead.
You must be identified to nickserv@services.dal.net before entering my channels. I know DALnet services can be very flaky, but please bear with it, please don't ask me about it, and please don't hammer DALnet services because that only makes the problem worse. If Nickserv is down, you'll just have to wait patiently until it come back up. If it doesn't respond the first time, give it at least 10 minutes before trying again.
No non-ASCII characters in my channels. No bold, no colors, no upside-down question or exclamations, no accented characters, no blobs. Only standard 7-bit ASCII.
Treat everyone with respect and use common sense. The rules above are not designed to be comprehensive. Unacceptable behavior is still unacceptable even if it wasn't explicitly mentioned above.
So, onto the channels... I have created two channels for myself -- #hitler and #hitler-babble. The first channel is mostly for my automated bot. Since it was made for the bot, it's unreasonably strict and unforgiving. But that lends itself to a very short list of rules.
Rules for #hitler:
You may only type the approved triggers. Do not say anything else. No !list, no @find, no talking except for the approved triggers. The ops may talk to #hitler, but you should not respond. Be aware that the triggers are case-sensitive, will never include spaces or quotes, and may change without any warning other than a topic change. Do not add extraneous spaces before or after the triggers. Be careful since the bot is very sensitive. Check twice before you type. Do not make mistakes. Any mistakes will be banned without further warning. Bans stay there until DALnet erases them by accident, until the banlist fills up, or until I decide to erase the banlist. I plan to erase the banlist about once a month, so just wait and do not ask to be unbanned and do not try to avoid the ban. If you ask to be unbanned, or if you try to avoid the ban, the temporary ban will be turned into a permanent ban. I know it was an unintentional, honest, small, stupid mistake. However, if I can't trust you to type in a simple trigger without making mistakes, how can I trust you to make complex downloads without accidentally hammering my server? Also, I strongly believe that even unintentional stupidity needs to be punished. Otherwise, my server and I end up drowning in unintentially stupid mistakes all the time.
As of yet, I have no idea how destructive #hitler might be. It's vaguely possible that people in the channel might flood off repeatedly once things get going. I recommend (but won't enforce) that you use a separate nick and separate instance of your client for #hitler to avoid annoying other channels in case something goes wrong. I'm not entirely sure that the channel will be very stable for very long... Again, this is not required, just a suggestion.
Discussion belongs in #hitler-babble. I will not watch #hitler on a regular basis (since the bot will just ban misbehaving people), so if something happens there that needs attention, please come to #hitler-babble and let me know or send me e-mail.
I reserve the right to kick the entire channel and change the key at any time. When I do that, please understand that it's not personal, and it's not meant as a punitive measure or anything -- it's simply a part of the normal operation of the channel. I also reserve the right to change the key at any time without kicking people. I reserve the right to change the rules as well. I just reserve the right to change anything.
Any discussion about my server should take place in the second channel. I hope to keep this channel quiet enough so that someone can say something about the status of my server and it'll still be easy to find in my scrollback buffer hours later. If you want to discuss anything anything other than my server, please contribute to the discussion in other channels instead.
Rules for #hitler-babble:
Read and honor the topic and rules of the channel.
Do not pick up or propagate viruses.
Be warned that spoilers are okay in the channel.
Do not talk about the relevant sites or channels in anywhere other than #hitler-babble. Do not share the channel key or channel information. Do not use the IRC invite feature to invite people into or out of the channel.
You must be identified to DALnet before entering the channel. I know that DALnet services are very flaky, but please bear with it, please don't ask me about it, and please don't hammer DALnet services.
No computer-generated messages in this channel. No on-join messages, no welcome-back messages, no away messages, no leaving messages, no back messages, no play lists, no fserve ads, no periodic/timer messages, no remotes. Do not have or use triggers that will be seen by the whole channel, and do not use excessively tricky, annoying, or offensive triggers.
Do not use offensive language, nicks, or idents. Do not flood, do not repeat yourself excessively, do not spam, do not use all-caps, do not anti-idle in the channel, and do not use any form of Denial of Service attack.
Do not beg for ops, voice, sends, or resumes. When asking questions, try to ask specific questions (do not ask if you can ask a question, do not ask, "Are you there?").
I'm a resident of the United States, and my material is in English. Please understand English before you join the channel, and please speak mostly English or Japanese in the channel. Also, I'm subject to US laws, and I will do my best to enforce US licenses. Although you're welcome to discuss the plot, character development, and general quality of propaganda (even if it's licensed), please do not mention possession of pirated US-licensed materials, do not mention where to obtain such pirated materials, and do not mention you're looking for the pirated materials. I'm aware that it's hard to keep up with licenses, so mistakes will be tolerated, but when someone provides reasonable evidence that it's licensed in the US, please stop discussing possession (anyone's possession) or procurement (anyone's procurement) of the material -- whether you are in the United States or not.
I will allow other people to serve in this channel, but your server may be more appreciated elsewhere. If you insist on serving, please serve non-US-licensed propaganda only. No mp3s, no warez, no porn, and no US-licensed material of any form.
Treat everyone with respect and use common sense. The rules above are not designed to be comprehensive. Unacceptable behavior is still unacceptable even if it wasn't explicitly mentioned above.
I reserve the right to kick the entire channel and change the key at any time. When I do that, please understand that it's not personal, and it's not meant as a punitive measure or anything -- it's simply a part of the normal operation of the channel. I also reserve the right to change the key at any time without kicking people. I reserve the right to change the rules as well. I just reserve the right to change anything.
Now onto the next page...
This site is an introduction for my IRC channels.
This page was last updated Id: server.html,v 1.47 2002/07/19 18:21:51 dildo Exp
If you wish to visit my channels, you are expected to stay current with the information on this page. Ignorance of the material on this site will not be tolerated in my channels.
The channels and the bots within them are designed to protect my machine. Please remember the machine is my private property, and you are downloading from my machine at my expense. As such, I reserve the right to deny access to my machine without warning or explanation. Also, while the machine is my private property, I recognize that the data on the machine isn't. If you see anything on my machine that should not be served for whatever reason, please let me know so I can stop serving it.
In case anyone is curious, here are the system specs:
Hardware: Tatung Super COMPstation SPARCstation 20 clone
CPU: 2 x 60 MHz sparc Yes, 60 -- as in less than one hundred MHz. This is why I really need each and every downloader to be very nice to the server -- the server will support a lot of clients only if the clients are well behaved. Any one of the clients downloading from my server can completely overrun my machine and ruin the server for themselves and everyone else.)
RAM: 512MB
OS: Solaris 7
Disks: 6 x 80GB Maxtor IDE disks in a RAID 5 configuration (approx. 400GB usable on a SCSI bus that runs at 20MB/sec or 160Mbps), plus an independent 7th identical disk on a slow IDE-SCSI bridge/converter
Net: 100Mbps fastethernet card, colocated in a data center with dual OC12s (OC12 = 622Mbps). Current bandwidth usage.
How it works...
I assume you're here because you really want to download from my server. My file list is here. There is also an HTML version with sizes and dates (that even has the pathnames translated for you!) but the catch is that this version has a _huge_ table. If you're running on a slow machine you may be waiting a very long time for the page to come up. There's been a lot of problems with small, fast connections on my site, so I just changed things so you can't browse the site. Therefore, you need the list. That should eliminate small, fast connections. Do not share the list, do not link to the list, and do not give people the URL to the list. The list updates frequently.
Once you have the list and actually know you want something from it, first connect to a DALnet server. If you still don't know how to do that, you should go back and re-read the previous information.
After connecting to DALnet, join the channel called #hitler. There is a key on the channel. Do not ask for the key. Do not give anyone else the key. Do not even give anyone else hints on where to find the key.
Type the trigger in the topic. When the bot sees that trigger, it'll see how many connections there are and give you the information you need to get onto the site if there's an open slot. Please be patient. If the bot isn't in the channel, it obviously can't respond to you. Also, the server can be very full, and the bot doesn't always respond to everyone so it doesn't flood itself out of the channel. Every time the bot talks back to you, it'll ignore you for 10 minutes. For every time you try to talk to the bot while you're ignored, it'll ignore you for 10 additional minutes. There is no limit to the amount of time the bot will ignore you. In addition, be aware of topic changes. Once the topic changes, anyone still using the old trigger will be banned.
If you get a message saying you're in a suspect domain, it's because there has been a lot of abuse from your domain. You can still get onto the server, but you need to be added to the whitelist. To get onto the whitelist, you need to e-mail me with the following information:
The Subject: heading must be "Whitelist: {nickname}". Be sure to put the registered nickname you want to be whitelisted.
Copy-paste the entire output of "/nickserv info {nickname}" and "/whois {nickname}" into the e-mail message.
Specify whether your IP is static or dynamic.
State the name and the exact version number (like the information from the "Help->About" box) of the program you will be using to download. Go through and list everything you changed or double-checked in the settings, options, and/or preferences to make it play nicely with my server. I simply want to make sure that people know how to set their downloading software to not hammer the server before I let them on.
Please write up a paragraph or two about how you started getting into downloading propaganda and how you found this current rules web site.
Once you get the information from the bot, you need to glue that to the rest of the filename found in the list and download the full URL. Note that you also have to convert metacharacters into the proper URL. Some browsers will automatically do the translation for you. Many will not. More information about the client configuration is on the client page. If you use IE, make doubly sure to read the client page before downloading. If you simply do not want to use a client that can translate the url, get the HTML version of the list.
If you need to talk about the server or any of the related pieces, please visit #hitler-babble. Do not privately message anyone about the server, do not discuss it any other IRC channel, and do not mention it in any other location. Since you've made it here, please do not give anyone any information about af|Dildo and do not give anyone the key to the channel it's in either. And, no matter what, never give or ask for any URLs, keys, or passwords related to my site or my channels, not even in #hitler-babble. If there are _technical_ problems with the URLs, keys, or passwords, however, that can be reported in #hitler-babble.
Server rules...
I personally don't like rules, and I had originally thought I could just assume people had some sort of common sense. I found out the hard way that I was so very incredibly wrong. Some people insisted that I put rules on my web site before they would stop doing things that were hurting the server even after I asked them nicely to stop. So here are the rules:
Do not talk about the gateway bot, the site, the server, or these channels, on any web site, any newsgroup, any web forum, any channel, or in any other place other than on #hitler-babble. No matter where you are, even if you're in #hitler-babble, do not give or ask for any related URLs, keys, or passwords. (This also includes keys for the gateway bot.)
Do not abuse or attack the server. Every client must be well behaved. Even one misbehaving client can ruin the server for everyone, including themselves.
One connection per person at a time. This also implies one file per person at a time. Do not download more than one file at once. Do not farm your downloads to multiple machines in a cluster. Do not use segmented downloads. Do not use download accelerators to open multiple connections for the same file. Do not get greedy. Know how your software works before you download from my site, and double-check the settings before you start. Ignorance, greed, stupidity, and mistakes by your little brother are no longer acceptable reasons to be unbanned.
Do not use bad passwords. Stop downloading if you get a bad password prompt. Verify your password or fix your download settings before continuing. I reserve the right to ban anyone trying bad passwords.
Do not hammer the server. Give the server time to download the page. Do not click "stop" too quickly. Do not click "reload" more often than once every 2 minutes. Set any download managers to wait 2 minutes in between retries and to not retry an error more than twice. If you ever see a 403 error, that means you have multiple connections. Either you're hammering or your client is trying to reconnect before the server has recognized the previous connection has died. If that happens, you need to back off even more and stop retrying so quickly.
Do not give out the site information or the site password. I use the bot to control how many people may try the site at the same time. If too many people try the site, it'll just hang. If you give the password to someone else, that means there are too many people hitting the server and things will become slow and unstable for everyone, including yourself. Do not ask anyone for the password either. If someone asks you for the password, or if anyone gives you the password, or if you see anyone giving someone else the password, please get their ident by doing a
I try to make sure that the material on this site is not licensed in the United States, but it may be licensed in your country. Please do not download episodes if they are licensed in your country. If I find that people from other countries are downloading episodes licensed in their countries, I may have to ban the whole country from the server because I don't want to deal with foreign authorities. Also, if something becomes licensed in the United States, please let me know, and I'll remove it.
The material on this site may not be appropriate for all audiences. There will be a very wide variety of data on this site, and there are no guarantees about the content here. Often, there will not be time to review the material on this site. By entering further into this site or downloading from this site, you agree that you will not hold anybody responsible for any of the content in this site, and neither will any of your representatives (such as parent or legal guardian). (Put simply, if you can't promise that your parents won't sue us, you can't download from this site.) Also, if you find that an episode does not work or if it pauses in strange places, please report the problem. Include the full pathname to the file, the symptoms you're experiencing, and the time index of the problem if applicable.
The rules above are not designed to be comprehensive. Unacceptable behavior is still unacceptable even if it wasn't explicitly mentioned above. In general, use common sense. If you are ever at all tempted to do something that might cause problems, just don't do it. If you're not sure if something is bad or not, ask permission before you do it. If you notice any mistakes in these rules, please let me know.
By visiting my server, you agree to stay current with and follow all the rules. If you agree, then you may use the channel key "Eat_Mydick" to get into the leeching channel. This is your only warning. If you break the rules, you may not get any further notices before being banned.
Contact information...
Dildo If you e-mail me, please include your nick, full ident, and IP address. I'll probably ignore messages if you don't include the information, and I'll probably ignore any e-mail that can be answered by reading this site carefully. If you're trying to report what you think is a problem, please copy-paste any potentially useful error messages you see into the message.
Upload ftp: ftp 127.0.01 port 21 username upload password upload Please note that the upload account does not support resumes.
More information about bans.
Request list: Last updated 2002 July 1.
IRC channels: #hitler and #hitler-babble on DALnet.
Other pages...
Notes about the files on the site (not done)
SFV checksums of every file on the site (not done)
Useful site news
Thank you to people who uploaded!
This site is an introduction for my IRC channels.
This page was last updated $Id: banfaq.html,v 1.11 2002/07/09 16:05:36 dildo Exp $
If you wish to visit my channels, you are expected to stay current with the information on this page. Ignorance of the material on this site will not be tolerated in my channels.
Bans Explained
I really hate having to ban people, but it's hard enough for my server to even keep up with serving episodes without having to deal with people who will destroy it in their eagerness to get anime. In order to protect my server from the few abusive people who can ruin my server for everyone else, I've had to come up with many different levels of bans. It can get confusing, so I figured I needed a page explaining the ways the pieces of my server can intentionally decide to not work for you.
I primarily use four types of bans. There are other bans, including AKicks and what not, but I haven't started using them yet. If I need to start using them, I'll update this page.
Bot Ignores
This is the least problematic type of "ban" and isn't really a ban at all. In the past, the bot was hammered by all the triggering, and it kept getting flooded out of the channel. So, the bot was programmed to protect itself from that. If you get ignored, simply wait it out. I cannot change the penalty times, even if it was DALnet's mistake.
Anti-flood Ignore. The bot is programmed to speak only once every TEN seconds. If it tries to reply to people any faster than that, it stands a risk of getting thrown off of DALnet. If you trigger the bot within two seconds of someone else, it will not reply to one of the people triggering. If you were the one ignored, simply wait a bit to make sure it wasn't lag and then try again. (Originally, the anti-flood ignore was 2 seconds, but now it's 10 because DALnet seems to have done something and the bot got K-Lined even on 2 second intervals.)
Excess triggering penalties. The bot is programmed to respond only once every 10 minutes for each person. Please make sure you do not trigger more often than once every 10 minutes. Every time you trigger the bot before the 10 minutes is up, it will refuse to reply to your triggers for another 10 minutes. For example, if you trigger the bot 5 times in a row, it will respond to the first trigger, but then it won't talk to you for 50 minutes, and if you try to trigger once more before the 50 minutes is up, then you have to wait a total of 60 minutes. In the past, some people have triggered so much, they were ignored for hours!
Note that DALnet is often unstable. It may prevent your request from getting through to the bot, and it may prevent the bot's responses from getting back to you. You often can't tell which, so it's generally safest to wait 10 minutes between triggers. Also, DALnet may send back spurious error messages even if the request and answer get through. If you see that, the DALnet server you are on is desynchronized from the bot's DALnet server. If you get a response, you probably don't need to report the error message to the channel ops because I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about it anyways.
Channel Bans
If you type anything other than the trigger in the trigger channel, you will be banned from the channel. This means that you will be prevented from entering the channel and no one (including the bot) will see what you type into the channel. Yes, I know it may be an honest mistake, minor typo, whatever, but it's a necessary precaution, and I really insist on people being very careful with my fragile little machine. The ban list in the channel is limited to 100, and when it fills up (or when there has been a month without anyone asking to be unbanned), I will clear the ban list and re-key the channels. If you get banned from the channel, simply wait for the next cleaning. Do not ask to be unbanned under any circumstances. If you think there was an error, you may report it so we can try to fix it, but do not ask to be unbanned. Asking to be unbanned will earn you a permanent ban (see "Bot Bans" below) and a place on my news page. Also, reporting a "problem" or asking me to double-check on things when you've simply made a typo may earn you a permanent ban too. I accept that there may be problems with DALnet, but I will not accept people wasting my time either because they can't be bothered to scroll up and see their own typing mistakes or because they think they can deceive me. Finally, do not avoid the ban. Obviously, the channel bans are trivially easy to circumvent with the right resources, but the wait time is usually less than a month. Just watch the news for indication of a cleaning before you try to go back into the channel. Avoiding a ban indicates you're just destructively greedy and care nothing for the server, and that makes me very unwilling and unhappy about sharing my resources with you.
IP Bans
If you have the right password and still cannot download from the server, it might be that the Internet is having problems. But, it might also be an IP Ban. IP Bans usually occur because you were "hammering" -- you were trying to open multiple simultaneous connections or you were trying to open connections too quickly (usually because you do not have enough delay between retrying bad passwords). In such cases, you can get unbanned, but you need to prove that you can use your downloading software in such a way that it will not hurt my server. You can tell if you were banned at the IP layer if you point a web browser at the server's address. If you are banned, it will say "You have been banned." If it asks you for a password or gives you a 401, 403, or 404 error, you're probably not banned, so please check other things first. The directions of how to get unbanned are on the banned page. If you have a dynamic IP address, do not simply reboot to get around the ban. Make sure you fix your settings so they won't hammer again. If you reboot to bypass a ban and continue to hammer, I may choose to put in a Bot Ban and I may choose to ban your whole ISP. If I choose to ban your whole ISP, everyone on your ISP will see your nick as the reason why they can't get in...
Bot Bans
A Bot Ban is when you trigger the bot and it response with a message saying that you are banned. It requires me to kill and restart the bot to add or remove bot bans, so I really dislike adding or removing such bans. Reasons you might get a bot ban include...
Site information sharing. If you share any of the information about my site, ask for information via non-approved methods, or even casually discuss my current setup anywhere other than -babble, then go away and never come back. I do not have the resources to share with everyone, and things are set up so that the people who can find their own way here usually possess qualities that make them the type I want to share with. I'm not interested in sharing with random leechers who are just out to find a big, fast anime server, and I'm probably not interested in sharing with your brother or your best friend if they can't find their own way here. But, if there is someone that you think really, really should have access, you can discuss it with me, and I may decide to invite them and send the relevent details (_I_ may share information if I choose -- it's my server after all). In particular, you may _not_ share the following pieces of information to anyone other than the -babble operators (me, Treblinka, or Göring), and even then, verify that they are indeed an operator in -babble before you give the information (to try to prevent sharing the information with impersonators):
The username and password for downloading from the server. Under no circumstances should this ever be shared. Ever. Not with your brother, your roommate, your best friend, and not even with the -babble ops. This password lets the bot control how loaded the server gets. Sharing the password makes the server suffer. In addition to the normal random rotation, the password will change if the server gets overloaded.
The URLs or IP addresses or port numbers of the rules site or the downloading site.
The method of obtaining the information about my server and related pieces. This is the mostly likely piece of information that the -babble ops would ask for to verify that you are allowed in my channels. If you do not answer this question to the best of your ability, you will not be allowed to stay.
The key to either of my channels or the gateway channel. (I know people sometimes casually mention the key to the gateway channel. It's only fine as long as they don't know about my larger server. Since you're here, you know better, and it's no longer okay for you to share it.)
The list from the gateway bot.
More than five full pathnames from the server list. You may mention up to five full pathnames to ask for help with problems downloading or to ask people to verify if files are complete.
The list of forbidden information above is not complete, and other pieces of information may be forbidden. Use common sense. I would like all discussion about the server should take place in -babble, but I recognize that private conversations might be necessary. If you must discuss anything about my server or its related pieces in private conversation, you still may not give or ask for the information listed above, and you must both be in the trigger channel. Any talk at all about the server, its related pieces, or even the existence of any of the pieces in any place other than -babble may get you banned. Please report any violation of this rule.
Leak information withholding. If Göring, Treblinka, or I initiate an interrogation via -babble and you continue to withhold information about how you found out about my server, you may be permanently banned at the bot. If you should decide to provide solid, provable information about how you got in, let me know and I will unban you, but be warned in advance that I will take action against those who leaked the information. Those who share information about my site forfeit their opportunity to download from the site.
Taking advantage of dynamic IPs. A lot of the bans depend on your IP. People with dynamic IPs have an unfair advantage in that they can get a new IP and continue the abuse. If you intentionally use your dynamic IP to continue abuse beyond a ban, you may be banned at the bot layer which has far more flexible pattern matching abilities. Note that this means that hopping IPs when committing a typo in the trigger channel may turn a month-long ban into a permanent ban. Also, if you have a dynamic IP hammering my server, I may choose to ban you at the bot instead of (or in addition to) banning your whole ISP, in which case, you have to prove to me that you figured out how to use your downloading software.
Remember that you must always include your nick, ident, and IP(s) when you e-mail me. If you're e-mailing about a ban, please include exactly what type of ban you are under, and make sure to include the word "ban" in the subject line. As you can see, there are a lot of ways for you to be banned, and it'll take me a long time to find where you were banned if you don't tell me. If you e-mail me without the necessary information, I will simply ignore your message. Also, I'm often very busy. If I haven't replied to your message within a month and you included all the necessary information, try e-mailing me again (with all the necessary information) because that means I probably lost track of your message. It is much easier to follow the rules than to have me unban you, so please be careful and try to not get banned.
(Thanks to Göring for reading over and providing suggestions for this page and for creating the first Bot FAQ back before the bot had its own channels.)
-- Dildo
(this text copy pasted from the site, names and additional data changed at the threat of ban for sharing this information)
Go here and learn to cook spam.
Why do you need a cookbook for a coding session or lan party?
The phone is God in this case, as it is THE resource for anything that is holy... er, you can call the local pizza place and get a delivery.
As for a coding session for any reason, anything microwavable works. Or chocolate... I could live off that. Or anything caffiene. Or soda.
Why cook when you can be a lazy bum eating freeze dried food out of a foam cup?
... if I'm wrong. But aren't ALL cookbooks open source?!?! What is the point if they don't share the recipe with you?
Ok, today I'm going to be creating a fantastic chocolate cake with raspberry sauce... What? A recipe? Ha! You fool, why would I want YOU to learn how to make this?
I dunno, Captain Obvious, what do you think?
Heh..
"PC Load Letter? What the $@#% does that mean?!"
Happy Troll Tuesday!
:) Join me in a WIPO-snot?
THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ [slashdot.org]
By J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org], $Revision: 1.16 $
[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as âoeTaco-snotting,â or simply âoesnotting.â Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help [adequacy.org] before it is too late. â"ed.]
Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself âoeCmdrTacoâ?
You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert âoeCmdrTacoâ Malda [cmdrtaco.net], owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org [slashdot.org]. Actually, itâ(TM)s not a very âoepopularâ site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies [yahoo.com], and other societal rejects and outcasts. Itâ(TM)s also home to one of the worldâ(TM)s largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous âoeSlashdot crew.â
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnâ(TM)t, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyoneâ(TM)s guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youâ(TM)re a potential candidate.
This time, he found you. Lucky you.
Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacoâ(TM)s code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thatâ(TM)s right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdotâ(TM)s parent corporation, VA Software [yahoo.com]. Mr. Maldaâ(TM)s âoeCommanderâ is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldaâ(TM)s own lubed-up right hand. His âoeTaco bells [sonymusic.com]â are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his âoeTaco sauceâ is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to âoering his Taco bellsâ or âoetaste his gourmet Taco sauce.â
I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as âoeTaco-snottingâ and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a âoecircle-snot.â
Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is âoeTaco-snottingâ?
âoeTaco-snottingâ is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacoâ(TM)s face [go.com], dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, âoeTaco-snotting.â
And if thatâ(TM)s not bad enoughâ¦
A âoecircle-snotâ is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew [bastardgenres.com]. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [aol.com], and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum â" spooging their jizz-snot all over each otherâ(TM)s faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyâ(TM)re covered head to toe with their own and each otherâ(TM)s man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each otherâ(TM)s spunk and whip each otherâ(TM)s pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully, but I wouldnâ(TM)t count on it.
To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the âoeWilling to Snotâ checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and heâ(TM)s probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Thereâ(TM)s no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so itâ(TM)s probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacoâ(TM)s sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to âoeWilling to Snot.â Maybe heâ(TM)ll ignore you. Probably not.
I canâ(TM)t stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, hemight leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge⦠oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention [amazon.com]. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some âoegourmet Tacos,â but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his âoeCommanderâ out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm⦠then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, âoeOpen Sauceâ â" man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his âoemonolithic kernel [yahoo.com];â his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their âoenetwork stackâ in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about âoeall those Censorware [spectacle.org] freaks out to get him.â
That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?
After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant â" I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Iâ(TM)m just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had alot of built-up spunk in their wads â" I couldâ(TM)ve easily been drowned!
Thatâ(TM)s horrible. Does âoeTaco-snottingâ have anything to do with CmdrTacoâ(TM)s âoespecial tacoâ?
No, thatâ(TM)s a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership [slashdot.org] about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacoâ(TM)s âoespecial tacoâ is. You will be wishing that you hadnâ(TM)t been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his âoespecial taco,â CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his âoeCommanderâ), puts his âoespecial taco sauceâ on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacoâ(TM)s jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacoâ(TM)s nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victimâ(TM)s ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy [goatse.cx]. Donâ(TM)t let it be you!
Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert âoeCmdrTacoâ Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Heâ(TM)s also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnâ(TM)t involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doesâ(TM)t mean heâ(TM)s any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called âoejuicy-douching [aol.com]â with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boyâ(TM)s urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boyâ(TM)s chained, naked bodies. If heâ(TM)s in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass [microsoft.com] onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.
Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arenâ(TM)t enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goatâ(TM)s anus [yahoo.com]. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goatâ(TM)s small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.
â¦Are you getting hard writing this?
Why, yes.
No, thanks. Iâ(TM)m already CmdrTacoâ(TM)s boi toi.
________________________________________
* The URL of this document is
* Previous revisions are publicly available at
$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org] Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all heâ(TM)s done to make Slashdot a better place.
- posted by poopbot: providing truth in a deceitful world
VC4ZhV8EFx Post #562
Here's a winner that I always make and doesn't break the budget. Take a couple of bars of softened cream cheese, blend well with a tub of real sour cream. Spread out on large platter. (About 1/2" thick) Spread favourite salsa over top. Mince green onions, sprinkle evenly over salsa. Mince baby shrimp, spread evenly over green onions. Shred marble cheese (or whatever floats your boat) and sprinkle over top. (If you wish, I sometimes sprinkle diced jalapenos over it too.) Serve with tortilla chips. Get funky, blue or black tortillas are cool. Try to eat as much as you can. I can't even imagine how fast it would go at a LAN party. Call it Unreal Dip. :)
"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." - George Orwell, 1984
40-50 pages in length or 30 recipes (whichever comes last)
Uh, doesn't that mean 40-50 pages in length and 30 recipes?
It is now official. Netcraft confirms: *BSD is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered *BSD community when IDC confirmed that *BSD market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all servers. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that *BSD has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. *BSD is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict *BSD's future. The hand writing is on the wall: *BSD faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for *BSD because *BSD is dying. Things are looking very bad for *BSD. As many of us are already aware, *BSD continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
FreeBSD is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core developers. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time FreeBSD developers Jordan Hubbard and Mike Smith only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: FreeBSD is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
OpenBSD leader Theo states that there are 7000 users of OpenBSD. How many users of NetBSD are there? Let's see. The number of OpenBSD versus NetBSD posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 NetBSD users. BSD/OS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of NetBSD posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of BSD/OS. A recent article put FreeBSD at about 80 percent of the *BSD market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 FreeBSD users. This is consistent with the number of FreeBSD Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Walnut Creek, abysmal sales and so on, FreeBSD went out of business and was taken over by BSDI who sell another troubled OS. Now BSDI is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that *BSD has steadily declined in market share. *BSD is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If *BSD is to survive at all it will be among OS dilettante dabblers. *BSD continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, *BSD is dead.
Fact: *BSD is dying
- posted by poopbot: information likes to be narrow
syFinap0ra Post #563
Fill it full of maps to Taco Bell. Its the favorite lan party chow around here cuz its open 24/7.
I think we'd all enjoy a nice cold beverage. -David Letterman
cpan mpaa riaa drm icann gnome kde html slip ppp jpeg gif.... alphabet soup, serve hot....
Hummus:
6 cups chickpeas
10 cloves garlic
1 1/3 cups tahini
1 1/3 cups olive oil (not extra virgin - it's too strong)
1/2 cup lime (or lemon) juice
2-4 Tbsp cumin
pinch of parsley (optional)
salt/pepper to taste
water as needed for blending
Put everything except the tahini in a blender, adding just enough water to allow the blender to do the job. After thoroughly blended,pour into large bowl and stir in the tahini. The tahini will thicken the hummus.
---
Dressing:
1 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup olive oil
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 cup mustard
Blend well.
---
Spread hummus in a tortilla and add lettuce, cucumber, tomato, pickle, bell and/or hot peppers, carrot, onion, garlic, etc. Add dressing to taste.
Real geeks that code are fat, smelly, felching asswipes. I know plenty of geeks that cook, and not just crank, smack, crack, etc.
How can it be released in word format? As an open source endevour, it really should be released in RTF instead. PS: I know i can't spell...
The End of FreeBSD
[ed. note: in the following text, former FreeBSD developer Mike Smith gives his reasons for abandoning FreeBSD]
When I stood for election to the FreeBSD core team nearly two years ago, many of you will recall that it was after a long series of debates during which I maintained that too much organisation, too many rules and too much formality would be a bad thing for the project.
Today, as I read the latest discussions on the future of the FreeBSD project, I see the same problem; a few new faces and many of the old going over the same tired arguments and suggesting variations on the same worthless schemes. Frankly I'm sick of it.
FreeBSD used to be fun. It used to be about doing things the right way. It used to be something that you could sink your teeth into when the mundane chores of programming for a living got you down. It was something cool and exciting; a way to spend your spare time on an endeavour you loved that was at the same time wholesome and worthwhile.
It's not anymore. It's about bylaws and committees and reports and milestones, telling others what to do and doing what you're told. It's about who can rant the longest or shout the loudest or mislead the most people into a bloc in order to legitimise doing what they think is best. Individuals notwithstanding, the project as a whole has lost track of where it's going, and has instead become obsessed with process and mechanics.
So I'm leaving core. I don't want to feel like I should be "doing something" about a project that has lost interest in having something done for it. I don't have the energy to fight what has clearly become a losing battle; I have a life to live and a job to keep, and I won't achieve any of the goals I personally consider worthwhile if I remain obligated to care for the project.
Discussion
I'm sure that I've offended some people already; I'm sure that by the time I'm done here, I'll have offended more. If you feel a need to play to the crowd in your replies rather than make a sincere effort to address the problems I'm discussing here, please do us the courtesy of playing your politics openly.
From a technical perspective, the project faces a set of challenges that significantly outstrips our ability to deliver. Some of the resources that we need to address these challenges are tied up in the fruitless metadiscussions that have raged since we made the mistake of electing officers. Others have left in disgust, or been driven out by the culture of abuse and distraction that has grown up since then. More may well remain available to recruitment, but while the project is busy infighting our chances for successful outreach are sorely diminished.
There's no simple solution to this. For the project to move forward, one or the other of the warring philosophies must win out; either the project returns to its laid-back roots and gets on with the work, or it transforms into a super-organised engineering project and executes a brilliant plan to deliver what, ultimately, we all know we want.
Whatever path is chosen, whatever balance is struck, the choosing and the striking are the important parts. The current indecision and endless conflict are incompatible with any sort of progress.
Trying to dissect the above is far beyond the scope of any parting shot, no matter how distended. All I can really ask of you all is to let go of the minutiae for a moment and take a look at the big picture. What is the ultimate goal here? How can we get there with as little overhead as possible? How would you like to be treated by your fellow travellers?
Shouts
To the Slashdot "BSD is dying" crowd - big deal. Death is part of the cycle; take a look at your soft, pallid bodies and consider that right this very moment, parts of you are dying. See? It's not so bad.
To the bulk of the FreeBSD committerbase and the developer community at large - keep your eyes on the real goals. It's when you get distracted by the politickers that they sideline you. The tireless work that you perform keeping the system clean and building is what provides the platform for the obsessives and the prima donnas to have their moments in the sun. In the end, we need you all; in order to go forwards we must first avoid going backwards.
To the paranoid conspiracy theorists - yes, I work for Apple too. No, my resignation wasn't on Steve's direct orders, or in any way related to work I'm doing, may do, may not do, or indeed what was in the tea I had at lunchtime today. It's about real problems that the project faces, real problems that the project has brought upon itself. You can't escape them by inventing excuses about outside influence, the problem stems from within.
To the politically obsessed - give it a break, if you can. No, the project isn't a lemonade stand anymore, but it's not a world-spanning corporate juggernaut either and some of the more grandiose visions going around are in need of a solid dose of reality. Keep it simple, stupid.
To the grandstanders, the prima donnas, and anyone that thinks that they can hold the project to ransom for their own agenda - give it a break, if you can. When the current core were elected, we took a conscious stand against vigorous sanctions, and some of you have exploited that. A new core is going to have to decide whether to repeat this mistake or get tough. I hope they learn from our errors.
Future
I started work on FreeBSD because it was fun. If I'm going to continue, it has to be fun again. There are things I still feel obligated to do, and with any luck I'll find the time to meet those obligations.
However I don't feel an obligation to get involved in the political mess the project is in right now. I tried, I burnt out. I don't feel that my efforts were worthwhile. So I won't be standing for election, I won't be shouting from the sidelines, and I probably won't vote in the next round of ballots.
You could say I'm packing up my toys. I'm not going home just yet, but I'm not going to play unless you can work out how to make the project somewhere fun to be again.
= Mike
--
- posted by poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!
AM687IYRsw Post #564
i scrolled halfway down the first page, and am yet to find a post that didn't qualify for -1 offtopic.
::hands down:: wheat thins and cheez whiz (that canned stuff that for some reason is always under high pressure)
Take hot dogs, and slice them down the middle lengthwise. Lay them out flat, and spoon some mashed potatoes on them, then sprinkle grated cheddar cheese on top. Broil them in the oven until the cheese is melted and sort of crispy, then enjoy!
Is the recipe for OpenCola in there?
Got Athlon?
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Credits: anonymous
"Mmmm... this feels good..." I sighed.
"Shhh!" hissed Hemos. "We don't want Mark to come in here!"
True. Having Hemos's 16 year-old brother walk in on us at that moment would not be good. I didn't think he'd be too cool with finding his 12 year-old brother lying naked with me, holding my 11 year-old dick in his hands. But, in all fairness, my hands were eagerly playing with Hemos's dick and balls at that moment, too.
Hemos's mom and dad had gone to the drive-in, leaving his big brother in charge. In our favor, leaving Mark in charge pretty much guaranteed that we weren't to bother him, and in turn, he'd leave us alone unless we were making too much noise or breaking something. Well, we were being careful to keep quiet because we very much wanted to be left alone.
We were in Hemos's twin bed, snuggled under the covers with our underwear pushed down to the foot of the bed. The only illumination in the room came from the faint sliver of light that crept in under his bedroom door. Even in the shadows I could make out the shape of my friend; about my height, but heavier. (Hell, I was such a skinny runt that everyone was heavier than me.) Hemos had a crew-cut of white-blonde hair, and was only starting to sprout some pubic hair. But, you had to feel for it because what little pubic hair he possessed was as blonde as the short hair on his hea and could not yet be seen by even a minimal distance.
And, I was happily feeling for it, running my hands all over Hemos's slightly larger erection and fondling his larger testicles while he courteously stroked my dick. I could tell that he didn't possess the same enthusiasm for cockplay as I did, unless you count his appreciation for the attention devoted to his member. And I knew that my willingness to satisfy his sexual urges was one of the few reasons he even had me sleep over at his place. But, I didn't let that stop me from finding pleasure in the handling of his meat.
I'd recently had an "introduction", of sorts, to seeing what someone could do with a man's dick with their mouth. While spending the night with my Uncle Jerry a couple weeks before, while I watched in secret, I was treated to a visual display of the intensity and unabashed pleasure that my uncle had obviously enjoyed having another man suck on his cock. From that moment on, I had a yearning that I needed to satisfy. With who was my only question.
I guess it was time to find out.
"I... heard that sucking on it feels even better than playing with it." I ventured.
In the darkness, I could feel a slight jerk of revulsion in Hemos's body.
"Put a dick in your mouth?" he croaked.
"Well, " I countered, my heart pounding with anxiety, "I think adults do it all the time."
"Well, I'm not gonna do it!" Hemos hissed. "That's homo stuff!"
"Yeah." I sighed disappointedly, while still playing with Hemos's dick. "I guess it is."
As I stroked his shaft in a steadier, milking rhythm, I could sense Hemos's breaths getting quicker. His manipulations of my dick began to falter as I could feel his body tense beside me. His hips rocked slightly in time with my pumping of his cock, and I cradled his balls tenderly in my other hand. When any attentions to my own dick has completely ebbed, I knew what was about to happen, so I picked up the pace just a bit more while lending a touch more pressure in my grip. Finally, Hemos's breath caught in his throat, and he turned his face fully into his pillow to stifle the moans that broke free as his cock pulsed and throbbed in a dry orgasm within my hands. I continued to massage him and didn't release him from my grasp until his member had gone fully soft.
"Man," sighed Hemos dreamily after finally catching his breath. "You are so good at that, CmdrTaco."
At least I had something to be proud of, I guess, as my friend gently withdrew himself from me and rolled onto his back.
Even though I was only eleven, the irony of Hemos's words and actions were not lost on me. My sucking on him would have been a "homo" thing, but beating him off was okay. Go figure. Within the few moments I had spent mulling over the irony of the thoughts, Hemos had drifted off to sleep. I slipped out from under the covers and down to the cool floor so I could masturbate without shaking the bed. As I toyed with my own dick, I imagined Hemos's cock in my mouth, wondering if the chance would ever really come. Finally, my own climax washed over me, and I got back into the bed.
I don't sleep real well to begin with, and even worse when I'm not in my own bed. And now, with the thoughts of a dick so close to me, as well as the vivid memories of secretly seeing man-to-man cocksucking pleasure floating through my prepubescent, sex-filled brain, I was not about to fall asleep anytime soon. Lying awake until around 11:30, I finally decided that I needed to do something to satisfy my hungers, or I'd never be able to let it rest. The trick was in finding the guts to follow through.
I knew that whenever Hemos fell asleep, he pretty much stayed asleep. So, since he was sleeping soundly, lying on his back, I took a deep breath and gingerly ducked my head under the covers and scooted down as much as I could to the foot of the bed. That put my head right at Hemos's hip level. I raised my head and upper body to help create a tent over his crotch. Sniffing around, I found the faint scent of young penis flesh. I inhaled deeply, both in the love of the scent, and in an attempt to slow my pounding heart. I opened my mouth wide over the area where I sensed Hemos's dick to be, and lowered my mouth squarely over his soft cock and balls until I could feel his sparse pubic hairs tickling my cheek. I finally had a dick in my mouth! I just wasn't sure what I'd do if Hemos woke to find his "homo" friend in this situation.
I remained like that for a long moment, partially in fear of trying anything more, and partly to savor the moment. I carefully let my tongue start to explore his tender penile flesh, enjoying the texture. Then came the excitement that welled within me as his cock began to respond to my attentions and harden in my warm and wet mouth! Butterflies seemed to explode in my stomach and drown out my heartbeat as I felt his dick get to its full size in my mouth. Concentrating in that dark environment, I found myself beginning to identify the shape of his member by taste. The shaft actually seemed to taste different than the head, and the thin skin of his scrotum seemed to harbor another distinct flavor.
I started to softly suck on Hemos's dick, becoming fascinated at how it just seemed to, well, 'fit' in my mouth... how the head lent itself to the back of my tongue, and how the shaft rested between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. My excitement was so great that my own recently satisfied dick was responding again, inviting me to play. I was sucking a cock, and I was in heaven!
However, within seconds, Hemos seemed to get restless. In fear, I quickly pulled my mouth away from Hemos's candy stick and held still. The covers rustled, and pulled back.
"Whatcha doin'?" mumbled Hemos.
"I... uh... was trying to find my shorts down here," I lied, starting to fumble near our feet. Well, partial lie, because it was a good idea to do so, anyway, and now was as good a time as any.
"Oh, yeah," said Hemos. "Get mine, too, willya?"
"S-sure" I stammered, relieved.
I located the two items of clothing and scooted back up towards the head of the bed. Thankfully, our underwear were pretty easy to distinguish since Hemos wore boxers, and I wore briefs. We both fumbled to put them on in the dark, and then settled back into the bed. I lay stiffly on my back, still harboring some fear that my friend discovered more than he let on, but Hemos simply rolled onto his side, facing away from me, and promptly went back to sleep.
And, here I was again, so close to my fantasies, yet still so far.
And very much awake.
After hearing the clock in the hallway chime midnight, I finally got up to go to the bathroom. Figuring it was late enough not to be an issue, and since even if Hemos's parents were home that they would be in their own bedroom downstairs, I didn't bother to slip on my pants for the short trip down the hall. I walked softly to the bedroom door, and then stepped out into the hallway, illuminated dimly by a bare-bulb night light. I walked past big brother Mark's door to the bathroom at the end of the hall and turned on the light as I shut the door.
Peeing into the toilet, I looked up at my reflection in the large mirror and smiled slyly to myself. I actually sucked on a dick, even if for only a moment! At that moment I was Rob Maldo, secret agent double-O-seven, who could sneak in and suck a dick, and sneak away without being caught!
I flushed the toilet and switched out the light as I headed back down the hall. Slipping past Mark's door once again, the door flew open, and a hand covered my mouth while a muscular arm snapped around my waist and drew me into the room. Squirming in the arms of Hemos's athletic older brother was a waste of effort, and he only squeezed harder until I settled down.
"You'll keep quiet if you know what's good for you,' growled Mark into my ear. "You gonna be quiet?"
I nodded. Mark let go of my mouth and reached over to close his bedroom door, the other hand and arm still holding me firmly with my feet off the ground. I heard something click, and recalled, and not without a certain amount of childish fear, that Mark had a lock on his door.
The room had a yellowish glow from the large lava lamp next to Mark's bed. He took me over to the bed and tossed me face down onto it, kneeling next to me. I thought briefly about trying to get up and run, but to where?
When I felt Mark's hands on me again, I was determined to fight him off, but I was no match for him as he flipped me onto my back and straddled me, sitting squarely on my upper chest, his knees pinning my shoulders and my arms locked between his legs. I gazed up at his lean, muscled torso, his stern blue eyes under a tussled mane of reddish-blonde hair. I could feel the soft fabric of his boxers against my chin.
"Can't get up, can ya?" he said, grinning down at me, all snide and victorious.
I struggled a bit, more out of obligation, but knew it was no use. Mark was just too big for me.
"Whatsamatter?" huffed Mark. "You too weak to fight? Or, maybe you just like laying there, sniffing dicks?"
I started squirming a bit harder, but Mark's legs only clamped tighter. At least he had scooted down a bit, and was no longer suffocating me with his weight on my chest.
"Yeah! Maybe you're a homo-boy who just likes sniffing dicks. Maybe you wanna sniff my big dick?"
I didn't care for where this was going, and I wasn't too comfortable with the tone of Mark's voice. But, I was also not being given much of a choice in the matter. Especially when Mark reached into the fly of his boxers and pulled out his cock.
"Here you are, homo-boy... a nice, fresh big-man dick!" grinned Mark fiendishly. "Ain't it a beaut?"
He held it out for me, then leaned forward and started to rub his cock on my face, tracing my cheeks and nose with the bulbous head. His testicles soon followed his dick through the opening, until they were dangling on my chin, the coarse pubes tickling my lips. Their faint musky scent began to fill my nostrils.
"CmdrTaco's just a little dick-faced homo-boy, ain't he?" sneered Mark, sliding his cock across my face. "I saw you in there, your head under the covers. What were you doing? Giving my little brother a blow job?"
I didn't answer. I was at once shocked at the thought of having been discovered, and confused by Mark's remark. I then guessed that he meant sucking a dick was called a 'blow job'. But... you're not blowing, you're sucking, and-
"You were, weren't you, you little homo!"
It was obvious what had happened; that Mark had looked in on us to find my head under the blankets. I thought I had sensed a miniscule change in the light, but assumed that to be part of my excitement. That must have been what woke Hemos up so suddenly.
"So, maybe you aren't just dick-faced, " he said, rubbing his cock on my face again. "Maybe you're a dick sucker!" He leaned forward, mashing his hairy ball sack into my nose, then pulling back to trace my features again with his member. But, even as Mark taunted me, treating his cock as a threatening weapon, there was something else happening.
He was getting a boner.
And as I closed my eyes, I could feel his cock thickening against my face. I could sense the heat of his hardening dick directly on my flesh. And, I found I was enjoying the sensations of this older cock against my face. There would soon be no way of hiding the fact that I was getting excited, too.
"So, dick-sucker-CmdrTaco... you're gonna suck my dick, now."
My eyes sprung open to see Mark's fully erect cock pointing at my face. While it wasn't huge (I had already seen 'huge' with my Uncle Jerry), it was still big enough to scare me.
And excite me to no end.
"Open wide, homo-boy."
Without another moment of hesitation, or taking my eyes off of Mark's sleek tool, I opened my mouth as wide as I could and watched as he leaned down and slid that beautiful cock into my waiting mouth. I then settled my tongue against the bottom half of his shaft while I could feel the upper half press against the roof of my mouth. Its texture was soft, yet hard; smooth, yet distinct.
"There," he sighed. "Now, you have a real dick to suck on. Now, get started, suck-boy!"
It was so much bigger than Hemos's young dick, I wasn't sure if I could get enough suction worked up to suck on it. It was then that I found out what sucking a cock is really all about: friction.
Mark held the base of his dick to guide himself and started to pump into my mouth, sliding his dick in and out of my salivating lips. He would slip in precariously between my teeth until he was near to choke me, then pull back out until the base of the bulbous head was just close to popping free from my lips, held in place by the suction of my mouth. Then he... we... would do it all over again... over and over... and gloriously over again.
"Oh, you are good, CmdrTaco," he moaned softly. "You suck cock real good."
I don't know about that; it seemed he was doing all the real work. But, I wanted it to be good. I wanted to have this dick in my mouth. And I wanted it again and again. I was definitely enjoying the oral sensations as his near-adult dick worked back and forth in my hungry mouth, and I wanted so much to please him so he would want my mouth again.
Mark placed his other hand on the top of my head to steady me as his thrusts became a little more erratic. His breath quickened, and I could sense that he was trying hard not to ram himself all the way down my throat and choke me. He was making little grunts with each thrust, and I could feel his dick turn to stone in my mouth when, in a mix of fear and excitement, I suddenly recalled what would happen next.
"Oh, baby... oh, fuck..."
Mark's movements got all quick and jerky. I was almost afraid to breathe.
"OHHHH!!!" he moaned, pulling out of my mouth and letting loose with a burst of white goo that seemed to splatter all over as he pumped his dick with his fist. My head still held firmly in his other hand, the warm liquid flew partly into my still open mouth, and all over my nose and eyebrows. I swallowed briefly, not sure whether to gag or hope for more, tasting fully the salty and musky liquid, then opened my mouth once more as Mark stuck his creaming cock back in and worked the thick fluid throughout my young mouth.
I sucked until Mark went soft and withdrew his spent dick. He smiled down at me, obviously proud of what he had done. He finally got off of me (good thing since I thought my arms were going to fall off) and stood there for a moment, an interesting picture with his hands on his hips, and his drained cock and balls hanging out of the fly of his plaid boxers. I just lay there with his juices clinging to my skin, wanting to do it all over again.
Mark bent down and picked up a t-shirt, and proceeded to wipe the remainder of his goo off my face. Finished with that, he tossed the shirt into a hamper and walked over to his bedroom door to unlock it as he tucked his manhood back into his underwear.
"You better get back into Hemos's bed before mom and dad find you here," he said softly.
I reluctantly got off Mark's bed and walked to the door. As I was about to exit, he reached out to stop me briefly.
"You liked that, didn't you, homo-boy?"
I nodded, not sure where he was going with this inquiry.
"Your first taste of cum?"
I shrugged, then nodded again.
"If you're good, maybe I'll let you suck my dick again some time, CmdrTaco. Now, get your ass out of here before I kick it."
I stepped out of the room and felt the door close harshly behind me. I could still taste traces of Mark's cum in my mouth, could still sense the friction of his cock on my tongue. I smiled in remembrance.
I was hooked.
- posted by poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!
u753paiDvc Post #565
Save us recipe troll. These lunix faggots are trying to cook.
This is a really delicious pizza, not like anything you've tasted before. Most people eat it and ask how to make it, before even realizing it's meatless. You could probably throw some boiled, cubed chicken on there if you want to.
Here goes:
Fresh Salsa:
1 large tomato
1 can chopped green chiles (it's a small can)
1 large white onion
1 can sliced black olives
1/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro (it's really cheap and available at any store)
Salt and pepper
Chop everything up and mix it in a bowl. Cover and refrigerate for as long as you can before making the pizza. A couple hours would be best, but it's still ok made right before.
Preheat oven to 400.
Pizza Crust (a good crust for any pizza, even sliced into breadsticks)
For a thick crust, double everything.
1 cup warm water
1 tbsp. yeast powder (1 packet)
1 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. sugar
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
All-purpose flour (NOT self-rising!)
Mix everything except the flour into a large bowl. Begin stirring in flour until it reaches dough consistency, it's going to be somewhere around four cups, more or less. For non-bread-makers, it's going to be squishy and sticky, kind of stretchy. Knead the dough (squish and fold on a floured surface, throw some flour on top) until you have a smooth ball of dough. Roll this out into the size of your pizza pan, fold over the edges so it doesn't hang over.
The Pizza:
Fresh Salsa (above)
Pizza Crust (above)
2 cups grated Montery Jack cheese
1 cubed avocado
Cumin
Put down the pizza crust on the pan, cover the bottom with cheese, then spread the salsa and avocados on top. Lightly dust with cumin right from the shaker. Bake the pizza for about 18-22 minutes, or as long as it takes for the crust to turn a light brown.
One of the best pizzas I have ever eaten. It's not as hard as it sounds, you really spend a total of 30 minutes in the kitchen, max.
...
This has already been done, in the form of the
uxc.cso.uiuc.edu:/pub/recipes.tar.Z: /pub/culture/recipes/recipes.tar.Z
Usenet cookbook. Here's some info I found from
a really old usenet post. Hopefully it isn't
too out-of-date:
FTP sites of "Classic-usenet-cookbook":
switek.uni-muenster.de:/pub/misc/recipes.tar.Z
nic.funet.fi
(examples from archie) and many others.
Info:
The "Classic-usenet-cookbook" in LaTex can be found at:
sifon.cc.mcgill.ca:/pub/recipes/tex/*.tex.Z
To view the roff-formatted recipe (Using Unix), you write,
%nroff -man tmac.recip Cheese-kake | more
To make a plain-text copy of a roff recipe, you write,
%nroff -man tmac.recip Cheese-kake > Cheese-kake.txt
If you have groff (Gnu-roff), you can make a postscript copy,
%groff -man tmac.recip Cheese-kake > Cheese-kake.ps
tmac.recip is distributed with the "Usenet-cookbook"
The above technique can be used to format dig.XXX.rec kind of recipes
(fdvw233 - FoodView-recipes).
This can be used to start you on your way.
Good Luck!
I would like to say hi to all of my friends, STEPH, lol lhey gurl sup i miss ya and wanna come home we need to party and have old times back. luv ya gurl. Aric i luv ya and are happy you are my friend. Kathy 'n' rob hey sup i miss you guys and cant wait to see you luv ya and miss ya..... Mom, and dad i miss you guys a lot and i want to see you again sometime soon but i guess i can handle til the middle of august.
Should that not be 'open sauce' ?
If you're coding in BASIC, you cook Sphagetti.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
food is bad... or is this more for artificial stuff?
Luke-Jr
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered trolling community when recently Slashdot confirmed that, after several changes were made to production Slashcode, wide posts account for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all Slashdot posts. Coming on the heels of the latest verions of IE which make page-widening more difficult, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. the wide posts that we love are collapsing into the narrow posts that we are used to, as further exemplified by the lack of Slashbots complaining about difficulty reading Slashdot's articles.
You don't need to be a Klerck to predict PWP's future. The hand writing is on the wall: PWP faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for PWP because PWP is dying. Things are looking very bad for PWP. As many of us are already aware, PWP continues to be defeated by users with thresholds of 1 or higher. Mod points flow like a river of blood. Klerck's PWP-bot posts are the most endangered of them all, having been filtered early on because of their uniformity.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
PWP leader Klerck states that there are 7 wide posts in the average Slashdot article. How many non-wide crapflood posts are there? Let's see. The number of crapflood versus wide posts on Slahdot is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7*5 = 35 non-wide crapflood posts in every Slashdot article. Tacosnotting posts on Slashdot are about half of the volume of crapflood posts. Therefore there are about 17 tacosnotting posts per article. A recent article put Goatse.cx trolls at about 80 percent of total troll posts. Therefore there are a hell of a lot of homosexual trolls. This is consistent with the number of Goatse.cx Slashdot posts.
But Slashdot is only part of the picture. Due to the troubles at Slashdot, negative revenue and so on, the site will soon go out of business and many users will flock to alternative weblogs, where PWP is almost completely unknown. Trollaxor.com, the popular troll hangout, is also dying, its corpse sodomized in yet another Greek bath house.
All major surveys show that PWP has steadily declined in the scope of all troll posts. PWP is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If PWP is to survive at all it will be among Blog faggot using outdated versions of Slashcode. PWP continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, PWP is dead.
- posted by poopbot: for the crapflooder in all of us
lVSvDSoIE0 Post #566
That recipe is downright inconceivable!
Karma: Non-Heinous
Ingredients:
1/2 to 1 lb Ground beef
1 Can Refried Beans
2 Rolls Instant Biscuits (them flaky ones rock!)
1 Packet Taco Seasoning (Ortega)
4 cups graded Cheddar Cheese
Press biscuits on bottom of a greased(Pam) 9"x14" pan until covered. Cook hamburger following directions on Taco seasoning mix. Mix in refried beans. Spread Taco meat/bean mix over biscuits. Evenly spread grated cheese over top. Cook following biscuit instructions (usually about (400-425F) or until cheese begins to bubble and turn brown.
Serve with salsa, chopped lettuce, onions, tomato, etc. Quick and easy recipe that serves at least four people.
"God fights on the side with the best artillery." - Napoleon, Marshal of France - speaking truth to power
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Credits: on by
Trolling your way on the web today
Takes everything you've got;
Having a Bot to post your comments
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to join the frey?
Sometimes you want to go
And get a First Post in your name,
So much goatse that you came;
We know it's hard to get Eff Pee,
Our troubles are all the same;
Get that FP and everyone'll know your name.
- posted by poopbot: for the crapflooder in all of us
dvSj1AMMWJ Post #567
If you really want simple, put a slab of beef in a pot of boiling water (that's what the english do). It tastes terrible.
Really, if I can offer the suggestion, what you should do is provide a section on how to LEARN how to make basic preparations. How to fry, how to braise, how to mince. How to season properly, and with what seasonings for different ethnic varieties. Having that sort of knowledge will let you cook well even without a recipe!
.
Perfect for college students and people who can't afford/don't want to pay for more expensive food, there's always the Ramen Recipe Database (quick link to all recipes). Over 200 recipes and counting. It's amazing what people can do with Ramen when they try. Ramen by itself may not be all that nutritious, but with a little imagination you can make a full meal out of one of those little $0.15 packages.
For this you will need:
One room, which you will not leave.
Soothing music.
Tomato soup, ten tins of.
Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold.
Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of.
Magnesia, milk of, one bottle.
Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins.
Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography.
One mattress.
One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus.
One television and one bottle of Valium.
Bon apetit!
Why don't you do that yourself?
(See why the open source community can't provide a good user-friendly OS? Cuz all the people who complain about it refuse to actually fix it... the point of Open Source is to give you a chance to shit or get off the pot.)
Karma: Non-Heinous
You could create an RTF version. The current versions of MS-Word tend to understand that (search engine users: this is 2002, I can't avoid being wrong in the future).
Flame away, but... Isn't this quite indicative of the "me too!" attitude so often exhibited in the Open Source world, and the lack of focus, pragmatism and prioritization that goes along with it? Seems to me that recipes are right up there with porn in terms of number of available resources. Doesn't the internet itself qualify as the greatest [free] recipe book of all time? Can you beat it?
Happy Troll Tuesday!
USian Pie
A long, long time ago I can still remember How the trollers used to make me smile And I knew if I had to boast That I could try to get first post And maybe I'd be happy for a while But moderators made me shiver With every minus they'd deliver DoS scripts couldn't stop it They scored them all "Offtopic" I know that it's cheap crack they smoke And meta-moderation's broke At first I thought it was a joke The day that trolltalk died
-- Chorus --
Bye, bye, MEEPTy, OOG, and Grits guy Drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh*
Those Steve Woston posts that we all knew were a lie Wonder what became of girls petrified? What became of girls petrified?
--
Did you write a bunch of Perl? And did it make you want to hurl Feces at the Wall? Can you believe these lame-ass polls? Do you post big stretched-out assholes? Can you make the goatse.cx link not show? Well I know you think that Siggy sucked Will the real Bruce Perens please stand up? The bots don't have a clue. Man, I dig those trolls from Shoe! I was a rabid Free Speech advocate With a Red Hat T-shirt and a Free Beer gut
Bought my Sony laptop working Pizza Hut The day that trolltalk died
-- Chorus --
It's been two years since the IPO And LNUX sinks to all-time lows But that's not how it used to be When Spiral showed how it was done Trolling as Jon Erikson Who worked for NPO Technologies Oh and while they tried to filter posts Somebody rooted Slashdot's host "Crack Slashdot? That's absurd!" Better go change your password While JonKatz wrote a Hellmouth book By using posts he simply took And we flamed him till he was cooked The day that trolltalk died And we were singin....
-- Chorus --
10 grams. Inchfan. Didn't log out. Goddamn The mods will find the sid real soon, man
You can't hide if you aren't AC Your bud (George here) tried BSD A dead Streetlawyer's tips were free And WIPO helped letsriot turn Nazi 70 made his percents up While 80md warned "liberals suck" The moon does not exist It's just a liberal myth Oh and as Taco tried to take a nap We forced him to invoke bitchslaps Do you recall the flood of crap The day that trolltalk died? We started singin....
-- Chorus --
Oh and then we were wearing out "All your base" And started posting monospace
The better for our penis birds So come on, be a zealot, be a dick You don't think Anne Marie's a chick? Because lying's all we do about HURD So go and push for BSD And say GPL isn't free Slow down, cowboy! The limit Is one post every minute Now tell the right wing facist slime Infringing on Your Rights Online That they can't censor all the time The day that trolltalk died
-- Chorus --
I met a troll they called The Rev And asked him if CD BREAK HEAD He said, "That's old. Get over it." And with all the courage I could muster "Imagine what a Beowulf cluster...." But it wasn't worth the trouble to submit The karma caps are just plain jive And everyone's moved to K5 The steelcage has grown rusted And Geekizoid is busted
The three sites I don't see for weeks Segfault, kernel, Comp-u-geek Code is not art. This ain't Freshmeat The day that trolltalk died
-- Chorus --
- posted by poopbot: providing truth in a deceitful world
gyVNcPrWzc Post #568
Get some left over BBQ chicken and pull the meat off the bone.
Put some olive oil on some tortillas and put them on a baking sheet. Place some chicken on the tortillas along with plenty of Kraft Mexican cheese. Put in the oven until the cheese melts.
Carefully, flip one tortilla over onto the other to make a Quesadilla.
You can make a few up and then just nuke em in the microwave when you're hungry. Bring plenty of guacamole too. Or you can just go to Taco Bell
Live web cams
A long time ago before Usenet was only useful for p0rn and warez there was the Usenet Cookbook. It was distributed in the newsgroup rec.food.recipes. The moderator put together a set of troff macros and templates and people posted recipes to the group. The moderator would edit the postings and release a couple of recipes a week (to save bandwidth).
Copies are still floating around the net this seems like a good place to start. I printed the whole thing out several years ago and it took a couple of packages of paper.
The difference between Canada and the USA is that in Canada healthcare is a right and gun ownership is a privilege.
PIZZA
Ingredients:
Telephone
Phone book.
Directions:
1:wait for 45 minute base closure.
2:call dominoes
3:place order
4:wait 40 minutes
5:get pizza free.
of course its no longer free if later then 30 minutes, but we sure ate a lot of pizza for free!
we always tipped well.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Credits: Big Dogs Cock
Trolling in the name of
Some of those that boot Suse
Are the same that bought XP
Some of those that boot Suse
Are the same that bought XP
Trolling in the name of
And now you run what they told you
And now you run what they told you
And now you run what they told you
95 is justified for running the games that you didn't buy
95 is justified for running the games that you didn't buy
Some of those that boot Suse
Are the same that bought XP
Some of those that boot Suse
Are the same that bought XP
And you run what they told you
Now your under control
And you run what they told you
Now your under control
And you run what they told you
Come on!
Fuck you I wont run what you tell me
Fuck you I wont run what you tell me
Fuck you I wont run what you tell me
Fuck you I wont run what you tell me
Motherfucker
- posted by poopbot: information likes to be narrow
xCpASBgPoB Post #569
mashed potato (home made is best but powdered works in a pinch.)
1 pkg frozen mixed veggies
a fair amount of your favorite cheese
paprika, salt and pepper to taste
prepare mashed potatoes and veggies according to directions on their respective packages, drain veggies and mix with potatoes. lay down a layer of the potatoe/veg mix in a casserole dish, then a layer of cheese, alternating until you top the dish (finish with a cheese layer). sprinkle some paprika on top of the cheese for color and a bit of taste and pop in the oven for long enough to melt the cheese.
sticks to your ribs, is good enough for the next day and works as a side dish or a main dish in it's own right.
FreeBSD for the impatient.
for Marinating
6 prawns
chilli powder
turmeric powder
salt & limejuice: all to taste
2 tsp virgin oil
Masala
3 tsp coconut oil
¼ tsp mustard seeds
5-6 curry leaves
2 slit green chillies
1 tsp ginger
½ tsp chopped garlic
½ chopped onion
1 tbsp coriander powder
1 tsp red chilli powder
¼ tsp crushed black pepper
¼ tsp turmeric powder
½ chopped tomato
¼ up coconut milk
salt to taste
Marinate the prawns for 10 minutes in a mix of chilli powder, turmeric powder, salt & limejuice. Heat oil in pan and sauté the marinated prawns on a low flame for 5 minutes. Once done, keep aside.
For the main preparation, heat oil in a pan and crackle mustard seeds. Add curry leaves, green chillies, ginger , chopped garlic, chopped onion, coriander powder, red chilli powder, crushed black pepper, turmeric powder, chopped tomato. Sauté till onions turn brown.
Now add the prawns and cook for 5 minutes with the lid on. Now remove the lid and cook for another 5 minutes to allow the gravy to reduce to a semi dry consistency. The dish is ready when the prawns have turned dark brown in colour.
Now add coconut milk. Cook for another ½ a minute. Add salt to taste and serve with rice or bread.
Yummy..
Rapid Nirvana
http://books.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/07/19/ 1411209
A legparnasom tele van angolnaval.
Change quantities as needed, I haven't made this in a while, so YMMV. This is an 'original' recipe, which I'm going to GPL here ;)
;)
1 cup rice (best rice 'Baldo', impossible to find here in North America, second best 'Arborio' very easy to find in the 'ethnic' section of the supermarket) stay away from instant rice for this
2-4 cups of broth (depends from a lot of factors)
1 tbsp (or thereabouts) of butter or olive oil
1-2 cup(s) (total) of cheese(s) cubed in very small cubes, the more the cheese, the cheesier the result (no, really
seasoning to taste (usually 1tsp of a mix of herbs with oregano)
Have the broth ready and warm in a pot next to the pot you'll make the risotto in.
Put the butter/oil in a pot (non-stick) and melt it, then dump the rice in and fry it for a few minutes, the objective is to enhance the flavour, not really to cook it. Keep the heat to 3/4 I'd say.
After the frying is done, pour about a ladle (1/2 cup to a cup) of hot broth in the pot on top of the rice, and stir things around with a wooden spoon. During this phase of the preparation keep stirring at least every 30 seconds to a minute.
When the rice gets 'drier' (i.e. the broth you put in evaporated/got absorbed) add another ladle of broth, and keep going for about 12-14 minutes (can't be precise, it depends from the rice that you're using, trial and error is key here).
Don't ever 'drown' the rice, otherwise the temperature will go down and it won't taste as good: add about 1/2 cup of broth at a time tops.
About a minute or two before the time is up when the rice is moist but there's no broth floating around, you dump in all the chopped cheese and the herbs: stir vigorously for the remaining minute of cooking in order to mix things well and to get the cheese to melt. The consistency of the risotto will differ depending on how long you'll cook the cheese (obviously) for a mix of soft/hard cheeses, I'd say a minute is a good place to start.
Now turn off the stove and *immediately* cover the pot with a damp cloth, and leave it alone for about two to three minutes (this enhances the flavour quite a bit).
Take out and serve: if done right the rice will basically melt in your mouth with a subtle taste of cheese and herbs (consistency similar to sort of chunky mashed potatoes), every time I made this dish it was always a hit, and it's not hard at all once you've tried it a few times for yourself. You really have to get the timing right for the rice that you use and your stove/cheese combination, but once you nail that, you can cook this basically with your eyes closed.
-- the cake is a lie
What cookbook would be complete without a great chicken wing recipe?
Don't sweat the petty things. But do pet the sweaty things.
I like to mix three different brands of mac'n cheese 'cause any one of them is so bland. I've cooked along side highschool dropouts that can make potato soup from scratch tripping on acid with a hangover. Here's a serving suggestion:
Put your head in the oven and crank up the gas.p.s. I read you casserole recipe. Do you ever use anything fresh?
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Credits: on by
crapfloods and trolling and raping small kittens
nice wider pages and wanking with mittens
turd report packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favorite things
grits covered portman and ASCII art doodles
ACs and CLITers and Katz sex with poodles
wild trolls that fly with plus five mod scoring
these are a few of my favorite things
when the ban hits, when I can't post, when I'm feeling sad
i simply remember my favorite things
then i don't feel so bad
Rob Malda chugs penis in fan fiction slashes
taco snot over my nose and eyelashes
BSD dying and that goatse ring
these are a few of my favorite things
grits covered portman and ASCII art doodles
ACs and CLITers and Katz sex with poodles
wild trolls that fly with plus five mod scoring
these are a few of my favorite things
when the ban hits, when I can't post when, I'm feeling sad
i simply remember my favorite things
then i don't feel so bad
- posted by poopbot: who doesn't like scat?
IJq7yvGe02 Post #570
Take 1 chicken, put into pot. Pour in enough Coke (or Pepsi or whatever) to just about cover the chicken. Boil until the Coke turns to syrup. Done.
Rice is great, in that you can eat it for days, and it's relatively clean as long as you're reasonable while shoveling it in.
¾ cup of long grain rice
1 clove of garlic, diced
1 14oz can chicken broth
4 oz. tomato sauce
2 tbsp butter
1 anaheim or poblano chile - fried in butter or oil, peeled, and diced
¼ cup diced red bell peppers
1/3 cup white onions, chopped
½ teaspoon salt
1 tsp chicken base
Fry the chile and dice. Fry the peppers. Soak rice in a medium pot in VERY hot water for 10 minutes. Rinse in cold water, let excess water drain off.
In a blender, combine garlic, tomato sauce, ½ can chicken broth, chicken base.
Lightly brown the rice in the butter over medium heat. When the rice is golden brown, add the diced chiles, peppers and onions, and continue cooking until onions are translucent. Stir often and do not let stick.
Add broth mixture from blender and continue to cook for 7 minutes, stirring often.
Add remaining broth and salt. As soon as rice comes to a full boil, turn heat to low and cover for 20 minutes.
Stir, and cook an additional 5 minutes.
Hot Damn! It's the Soggy Bottom Boys!
Mix 2 eggs, 3 cups of flower, 1 cup sugar, 1 tbsp. salt in large mixing bowl until lumpy consistency. Leave to dry out in bowl, then throw away. Serves 0.
Nick Adams, as you may or may not know, is a frequent character in many Ernest Hemingway short stories. In one of these stories, this sandwich is well described. I now make it frequently -- it definately falls under the category of "comfort food."
First I fry the ham in the frying pan, letting it get pretty dry with slight signs of being cooked. Do not use oil for this.
After the ham is done put it aside. Put 1 pat of butter in the pan and let it melt. Over medium-high heat fry the egg(s) over hard. That is usually done by breaking the yolks after cooking the first side and flipping the egg.
When the egg is nearly done sprinkle shredded cheese on top and put the ham on the cheese. Place a slice of buttered, toasted bread on top of that.
After the cheese has melted, place the whole thing on the other piece of bread.
Voila! A Nick Adams Sandwich. Watch your waistline!
My Karma was at 49, then they switched to words. All that work for nothing!
Whats wrong with normal food!? Yes, I have been to lan party's and it's really not that hard to order pizza etc ore make microwave food. Anyway, you dont need a book fore it. =) Whay is it released in PDF and Word? Stupid non-free software. (hehe) Whay dont make man pages of it? =)
Okay,
;)
Take two eggs, break them into a bowl, add two tablespoons of milk per egg, and salt and pepper to taste.
Then, add half a teaspoon of curry powder and half a teaspoon of chilli powder or chilli flakes (more or less depending on the strength of the powder). Grate a cup of cheese in the bowl with the eggs etc.
At this point you can also throw in (as some friends of mine did) either tomato sauce/ketchup, worstershire sauce or soy sauce as well if you want.
Grab a frying pan, coat the bottom lightly with olive oil and throw in half a teaspoon of crushed garlic (more or less to taste) and half a small onion (diced). Fry them both, stirring briskly, until the onion has gone clear.
Then throw in the mixture from the bowl all at once, and fry until all the egg is cooked through (note, it wont ever cook as hard and clumpy as normal scrambled eggs due to the oil and fat from the cheese).
Stick it on a plate and return to the computer. you should be able to eat it one handed if you need to.
If you're a stereotypical nerd, who gets no exercise, has poor personal hygene and no friends this is perfect. The curry/chilli will make you sweat and the garlic will make you smell and noone will want to come near you!
L8r.
"How much truth can advertising buy?" - iNsuRge - AK47
You forgot the snotwad dumbass!
This is the only lan party food recipe I've ever seen, so here goes. ...there is no step 3!
1) call dominoes
2) give pizza delivery guy money
3)
Spread bread crumbs on a plate. Mix ketchup and mayo in a bowl. If desired, flatten the chicken pieces by pounding them with a mallet or the palm of your hand. Dip chicken in ketchup-mayo mixture, then in bread crumbs. Arrange chicken pieces in a greased baking pan and bake at 375F for 20-30 minutes.
On the back of the package of some of the HP print cartridges, there is a recipe. I've never tried it, and I don't know if anyone else has, but it caught my eye one day. Whoever put it there must have been very proud of it . . .
:)
Here it is:
Chili Relleno Hors D'Oeuvres
Ingredients:
12oz can of chili peppers or pickled peppers
1 pound of cheddar or monterey jack
6 eggs
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cover the bottom of a flat 9"x9" baking dish with a layer of chili peppers or pickled peppers, slices or chunks. Cover peppers with grated cheese. Beat eggs until mixed. Pour over cheese and peppers.
Bake for 30 minutes or until firm in center.
Remove and let cool for 10 minutes, slice and serve.
Just go looking for HP ink cartridges (this one is the 51641A) and you'll be sure to see it. ENJOY!
Happy Troll Tuesday!
;).
How are things in the civilized world? You probably don't know who I am. That's
okay. I'm here to inform you of my mission, what I've found, and what I hope to
teach all of you.
I work for the United Christians Food for Poor Kids Foundation, and let me tell
you, there's a lot of poor kids in Afghanistan. As in most countries in the
Middle East, most people are unemployed, and therefore poor. And where there's a
lot of poor people, UCFPKF is needed.
UCFPKF always has the latest in technology. In this instance, we had access to
some Pentium 4's(r) 2GHz. Obviously, we needed an operating system that could
handle the power of Intel's beast. Unfortunately, we didn't have any computer
experts on hand up to the task, so it was going to be trial and error.
We'd heard good things about Linux and its "ACL's". Little did we know of its
incompatibility with modern hardware. It didn't even support Token Ring
networking, the newest form of Ethernet(r), which we require to always keep
in contact between bases. Also, it didn't seem to use SSE optimizations, which
when processing food amounts, are also very important. Also, there were
homo-erotic implications in the structure of Linux, which is strictly
unallowable in a Christian organization such as ours.
The next obvious step was to install Windows. We hesitated because we knew that
it was common knowledge that Windows crashed incessantly. Our experience was
less than stellar. It also didn't support Token Ring networking. Security is
important in this region because many people try to steal food, but "Windows
2000" (which I hear didn't even come out in 2000) doesn't even allow you to
have seperate permissions. Once again, the SSE optimizations were not used.
I was in a situation that seemed impossible. The two most famous operating
systems had failed me. I walked around the base in a dazed stupor. What was I
going to do for our ultra-important network? A boy saw me pouting and sighing,
and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing, but we exchanged names, and little
did I know, that young Junis had a gift for computers.
Junis saw me the next day, slaving away at the sparse terminal that "Windows
2000" makes you type in. He asked what I was doing with that primitive OS. I
laughed and told him that I was doing inventory. He ran to his village, into his
hut, and pulled out a box I had never seen before. The box said "SCO Xenix" the
front. I had never seen or heard of this Xenix before. But I soon learned that
Junis was a computer genius.
All we had to do was put the Xenix CD into the computer, and everything worked
like magic (not the devil's magic... good magic:) ). Our Token Ring network
integrated flawlessly with it. And it even used SSE optimizations. Well, me and
Junis are now on a new mission. We're spreading the word. It might not be the
word of the lord, but then again, maybe it is
SCO Xenix: The Unix of Tomorrow.
Janet Milman
Network Administrator, UCFPKF
Afghanistan base
- posted by poopbot: information likes to be narrow
WwDhjSesaY Post #571
Like all college students before me, I've come to realise that the time in which food takes to cook is more of a problem than difficulty of the recipe. Over or undercook something, only to find out later that, makes it tough to get it tasty. Based on a couple years of trial and error, here are two basic methods for cooking simple and cheap foods: angel hair and rice
Angel Hair for one:
1) Fill a pot about 3/4 of the way up with cold water
2) add a pinch of salt
3) bring water to a boil, covered, over high heat
4) take about one serving of angel hair out of the box. for me, this is about 1/4 to 1/3 of the box. Break the angel hair in half.
(Chefs would advise against breaking the pasta in half, but I've found pasta is less likely to stick together if broken)
5) When water comes to a boil, dump the pasta in, and let it cook uncovered for 5 minutes.
6) Strain and serve
Rice for one:
Rice is a bit tougher, since all store bought rice isn't the same, but this recipe works well for me. A serving of rice for one person is 1/2 cup. Make sure you have a heavy and relatively tight lid for the pot. If the lid has holes, or doesn't form a good seal, add up to 1/4 cup more water.
1) take a narrow pot, and add half a cup of rice to it.
2) add 3/4 a cup of water.
3) bring to boil, uncovered
4) when boiling, stir the rice, cover, and reduce heat to low
5) let it cook covered for 25 minutes.
6) serve and eat.
A few days ago, an article on The Brunching Shuttlecocks featured these three recipes. Really funny, and so true to life (my life at least...) Check that "Summertime Watermelon Sherbet," the "Salsa Fresca" and the "Omelet Florentine!"
I chop up the basil with a 10" cooks knife and it takes a while, but it is right and correct. The flavor bursts out when the pesto is chewed. That's the experience. Blender and store-bought pesto has the consistency of baby food, and the taste hits too hard before it is chewed.
About the garlic: In the springtime, green garlic might be available. If green garlic is used instead of garlic bulbs, then we're approaching nirvana. Sometimes Chinese groceries have green garlic in the winter.
What else? Some assholes put walnuts into their pesto. That's the lamest flavor for pesto. Bad. You have to use real pine nuts. They should be roasted a bit right on a dry frying pan -- just until their surface starts turning brown. Even the pine nuts are chopped and crushed with the cooks knife. Every piece of basil and garlic and pine nut is a different size. Good food accommodates all 5 senses.
I almost forgot. Romano cheese and not parmesan. Everything should be at room temperature. OK, here goes
Basil leaves
green garlic
pine nuts
extra-virgin olive oil
black pepper
Chop the basil leaves until they are a fine consistency, throw them into a bowl and cover with olive oil. Do the same with the garlic and put it in the bowl. Do not use too much garlic--taste for the correct amount. Roast the pine nuts, then chop and crush. Add to the basil leaves and adjust the amount of olive oil. Grate the cheese and add last. Add lots of cheese and add plenty of oil to keep it mushy. It should sit at room temperature coagulating for at least 1/2 hour.
"Only in their dreams can men truly be free 'twas always thus, and always thus will be."
--Tom Schulman
now the good thing about this... "Thing I invented" is, it goes perfectly with everything: pasta, rice, plain bread, ... :|
It's also much simpler to cook than you'd expect, and it's also done really fast. I usually wait longer for my rice to cook
If this thing has a real name, please let me know
If you have some more time you can serve the... "Thing I invented" with this "Other thing I made up"
Other thing I made up:
This is also something that's easily prepared, and it actually tastes good!
And now, something I didn't make up: Cacik (Turkish) aka Tzatziki (Greek)
I know this "cacik" must sound funny to people who have never had the privilege of tasting it, but damn... it goes so well with rice and meat (as a sidedish, instead of salad) but it's also a great snack
I suggest you give this stuff a try :) :)
Cheers!
"The majority is always sane, Louis." -- Nessus
http://slashdot.jp
It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.
Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.
The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'
FEEDBACK
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'
One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'
And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.
What the fuck?
Well bugger me!
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
- posted by poopbot: crapflooding since 7/8/02
BbHUOOFpgJ Post #572
I know /. readers like grits, so here's an old family favorite. :)
3 cups water
1 1/2 cups grits -- white (not instant)
1 tablespoon salt
Heat the water to boiling in a large saucepan over medium heat. Pour in the grits very gradually, stirring the whole time to prevent lumps. Add the salt, reduce the heat to low (one or two bubbles should rise to the top at a time), and cook, stirring constantly, until tender, about 10 minutes. Grits should be as thick as oatmeal, not runny or stiff. If the grits get too thick toward the end of the cooking time, stir in a little hot water. Serve HOT.
These are simple things to make, that don't require cooking skills, take less than 15 minutes prep time, and are cheap. We're talking about geeks here. While I'm waiting for the casserole to finish I can be busy recompiling sendmail or something. ;)
I remember living off of raman, tuna casserole, and spaghetti for about a year when I first got married.. About all we could afford at the time.
Better yet: do one of the following:
It's nice for people to be able to see the work in progress, rather than you releasing a version every so often. It'd make them a lot more likely to keep contributing.
Finger food that does not have to be looked at to be eaten is a must. Taste and nutrition are ok if you're just a superficial foodie, and appearance and presentation are important for some ethnic restaurant fare notably french and japanese, but the engineering of the food is a must for fast paced, action packed environments. It may taste like dog barf, but when was the last time you had a fast food burger from one of the big three come apart on you? Probly back when you had hands that were smaller than it was.
Examples of well engineered food include: burritos, burgers, dogs, soft tacos, sandwiches, and of course actual fruits and vegetables (hard to believe you can eat stuff that grows right out of the dadgum ground, ain't it?).
"Only in their dreams can men truly be free 'twas always thus, and always thus will be."
--Tom Schulman
(No name for it)
1 ounce of Green Tea leaves
2 quarts of water
1/4 ounce of honey
10,000 grams of Ginsegn
Bring water to boil. Place the Green Tea leaves in the water (don't put them in a filter of anykind). Allow to boil for 1hour then add the honey and ginsegn. Allow all of that to boil for another hour, then allow to cool.
It's also about food!
Don't you forget to visit
Slashdot meeting which will take place this thirsday around the world ?
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Netcraft has confirmed: Taco-snotting is dying.
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Taco-snotting community when recently IDC confirmed that Taco-snotting accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all homosexual acts. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Taco-snotting has lost more fag practitioners, this news serves to reinforce what weve known all along. Taco-snotting faggots are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Faggot World comprehensive snotting test.
You dont need to be a Katz to predict Taco-snottings future. The handwriting is on the wall: Taco-snotting faces a bleak future. In fact there wont be any future at all for Taco-snotting because Taco-snotting is dying. Things are looking very bad for Taco-snotting. As many of us are already aware, Taco-snotting continues to lose faggotshare. White ink flows like a river of bubbly, thick jizz. The circle-snot is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core snotters.
Lets keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Circle-snotting leader Jeff Homos Masterbates states that there are 7000 snotters of the circle-snot. How many users of anal snot are there? Lets see. The number of circle-snotting versus anal snot posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 anal snot users. SnotOS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of anal snot posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of SnotOS. A recent article put the circle-snot at about 80 percent of the Taco-snotting market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 circle-snot users. This is consistent with the number of circle-snot Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of CowboiKneels walnuts, abysmal sales and so on, the circle-snot went out of business and was taken over by SNOTi who sell another troubled Taco-snot. Now SNOTi is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another gay whorehouse.
All major surveys show that Taco-snotting has steadily declined in faggotshare. Taco-snotting is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Taco-snotting is to survive at all it will be among heterosexual hobbyist dabblers. Taco-snotting continues to decay. Nothing short of a jizz-soaked miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Taco-snotting is dead.
Fact: Taco-snotting is dead.
- posted by poopbot: because even your grandmother can use lunix
d92IiybvaS Post #573
--
Socrates was asked where he was from. He replied not "Athens," but "The world."
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Yeast is a fungus. Vegans eat fungus. While fungus is definitely "living", I would hesitate to call it "creatures", at the risk of being called dumb, which is what you are.
It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
Ingredients:
Penne or Tortellini, red sweet peppers, fresh mushrooms, frankfurter sausage, emental, single fresh cream.
Cook the penne or tortellini as you would normally do.
Chop a frankfurter up. Fry mushrooms, red sweet pickled peppers (called pimiento I think) and the sausage.
Once the pasta is ready, mix the pasta with what you fried.
Grate some sweet hard cheese, not too finely. Preferably use French/Swiss Emmental.
Put the cheese on top and then pour the single fresh cream.
Bon Appetit.
/. Where the truth
Amen to that!
Take an old popcorn bucket from the movie theater, pop the pocorn into it, then spray on some canola oil, salt, shake around, and spray/salt one or two more times.
It's hardly a 'recipe', but then nothing I eat ever comes from anything more complicated than that. (ramen, potato soup with bread and cheese, etc)
And plenty of green tea and diluted coolaid!
Duct tape, XML, democracy: Not doing the job? Use more.
I can't believe nobody has suggested a variation on any of these recipes. (The originals, I assume, are copyrighted ;-)
"Biped! Good cranial development. Evidently considerable human ancestry."
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Either your network or ip address has been banned from this site
due to script flooding that originated from your network or ip address -- or this IP might have been used to post comments designed to break web browser rendering. If you feel that this is unwarranted, feel free to include your IP address (1.2.3.4) in the subject of an email, and we will examine why there is a ban. If you fail to include the IP address (again, in the Subject!), then your message will be deleted and ignored. I mean come on, we're good, we're not psychic.
Since you can't read the FAQ because you're banned, here's the relevant portion:
Why is my IP banned?
 Perhaps you are running some sort of program that loaded thousands of Slashdot Pages. We have limited resources here and are fairly protective of them. We need to make sure that everyone shares. If your IP loads thousands of pages in a day, you will likely be banned. Please note that many proxy servers load large quantities of pages, but we can usually distinguish between proxy servers being used by humans, and IPs running software that is hammering our servers.
 Your IP might have been used to perform some sort of denial of service attack against Slashdot. These range from simple programs that just load a lot of pages, to programs that attempt to coordinate an avalanche of posts in the forums (often through misconfigured "Open Relay" proxy servers).
 You might be using a proxy server that is also being used by another person who did something from the above list. You should have your proxy server administrator contact us.
 Your IP might have been used to post comments designed to break web browser rendering.
Answered by: CmdrTaco
Last Modified: 7/02/02
How do I get an IP Unbanned?
Email banned@slashdot.org. Make sure to include the IP in question, and any other pertinent information. If you are connecting through a proxy server, you might need to have your proxy server's admin contact us instead of you.
Answered by: CmdrTaco
Last Modified: 3/26/02
- posted by poopbot: crapflooding since 7/8/02
0Rl8vTWSyk Post #574
The rec.food.recipes archive rec.food.recipes archive contains more information on this. It also contains examples of what sort of restrictions can be placed on the collection.
Since the GFDL is, essentially, a copyright license, I don't think that the terms of the GFDL can be applied to the recipes in the collection. Anyone can take the recipes and use them in other works and not be bound by the GFDL. Which, by the look of it, violates clause 4 of the GFDL.
Mind you, as far as I'm concerned, that's fine. Recipes should be freely exchanged and published. That's what is allowed now under copyright. The GFDL seems to be an additonal encumberance, since the collection could be placed in the public domain in any case.
I'd rather see the "book" released as a collection of RecipeML files, so that I could re-arrange/import/manipulate them down the road...
I care nothing about Word nor PDF. Give me docbook sources, so that I can [again] reformat to my eBook for use in the kitchen... or to my custom kitchen appliance, should I ever make that exist.
Given the state of the populous [sedentary, generally-low-metabolism males] I'd try to focus on healthier stuff. For instance, Chicken in Mango Sauce is quite tasty [just made it last night], and is better for you than corndogs.
But, I don't see why this is better than SOAR^H^H^H^Hrecipesource.
are the ultimate hacker food. See http://www.tinaja.com/glib/twinkie.pdf and more at http://www.tinaja.com/glib/marcia.pdf
Happy Troll Tuesday!
It seems that the Janitors, in their infinite wisdom, have banned people who have low/negative karma from posting more than twice per day. Personally I find this completely stupid.
All the trolls will simply post AC as I am doing now. Proxies can be used to get around any ipid bans that result from AC trolls.
Surely it is better to let the trolls post at -1 where it is out of most peoples way rather than have them all post at 0 and suck up mod points and time from "legit" users?
I have tried to communicate my thoughts to the slashcode team but alas, to no avail. They are probably all sittin on their starwars bed sheets watching anime hentai tentacle rape pr0n.
Here is my proposal: All trolls that cannot post using their account post as AC. Use proxies if need be (www.antiproxy.com is a good source). I suspect this will show them how useless this idea is. Will blocking troll uid's stop trolls? NO! will ipid bans stop trolls? NO!
I seriously fail to see the point of this and consider it a stupid move by the janitors.
They want us to troll and crapflood at 0 rather than -1? Fine! So be it! No longer will we post at -1 where few people dare to visit, now we will post at 0 where we will be more visible and waste peoples time, energy and mod points! Hoorah!
The next thing you know, posting AC will be banned! Then what will you do? No more posting interesting insider tidbits! Groupthink all the way baby! oh yeah!
So logout, post shit, use proxies and above all have fun!
Let the games begin! -- on by
- posted by poopbot: for all your crapflooding needs
qGotQGjfIY Post #575
1) Acquire several vessels suitable for alcohol.
2) Acquire keg of Guinness, along with suitable tap.
3) If not well versed in the art of the Perfect Pour, seek counsel from your wise barkeep.
4) Enjoy.
NOTE: If keg not available, a few cases of Molson Canadian may suffice.
This simple recipe should be good for a few days... having your favourite pizza joint on speed dial isn't a bad idea, either.
- 12 oz. ramen noodles
- 1/3 C soy sauce (or 3 T soy sauce and 3 T Thai fish sauce)
- 1/4 C sugar
- 1/2 C vinegar
- 1 T paprika
- 1 t cayenne pepper
- 6 green onions
- 1/3 C peanut oil
- 8 cloves garlic
- 3 eggs
- 1 lb bean sprouts
- 1.5 T peanut butter
- 1.25 C roasted unsalted peanuts
- cilantro
- lemon and lime slices
Soak noodles in warm water for 10 minutes and drain. Mix soy sauce, sugar, vinegar, paprika, and cayenne, and set aside. Chop onions, garlic, and peanuts. Heat the oil in a wok, then add the garlic and increase the heat to very high. The rest of the recipe should take only a few minutes -- if it takes longer than that, you're overcooking the veggies. After the garlic is brown, add the noodles, and toss them to coat them with the oil. Add the soy sauce mixture, and continue mixing until the noodles have absorbed the liquid. Fry the eggs underneath the noodles, and then mix in. Add sprouts, green onions, peanut butter, and peanuts, and mix. Remove from heat. Garnish with cilantro and lemon and lime slices. - Ben Crowell and Gretchen Angelo(c) 2002 Ben Crowell, GFDL licensed
Find free books.
This is a nice simple recipe that will come out best if you have the BIG George Foreman Grill.
Make quesadillas like you normally would if you were only making them with cheese (i.e., melt cheese between 2 tortillas on a skillet).
While cheese is melting, prepare 1 hotdog per quesadilla... 3 minutes or so on your George Foreman Grill.
Wrap quesadilla around hot dog, fill remaining space in quesadilla with FRH.
so tasty.
A Transmission From PlanetJIM.[end trans]
Credits: 70%
It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so quickly and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable proportions. The very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to orbit our planet, showing itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the same side facing us all the time -- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is an insult to common sense and a damnable affront to intellectual honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it is evidence that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any further evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!)
Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with information about you.
Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for that particular favor!) That's where the "moon" comes in. Powered by nuclear reactors, the "moon" is nothing more than an enormous balloon, emitting trillions of candlepower of gun-revealing light. Piloted by key members of the liberal community, the "moon" is strategically moved across the country, pointing out those who dare to make use of their God-given rights at night!
Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but consider this. Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there is no mention of the "moon" anywhere in literature or historical documents -- anywhere -- before 1950. That is when it was initially launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at the State of the Union address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the moon", he may as well have said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent faking of a "moon" landing on national TV was the first step in a long history of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in this country. No longer can we hide from our governme
- posted by poopbot: because we're all crapflooders at heart
FUhAkvGSAz Post #576
Ingredients:
1 can of squeezable grape jelly
1 vending machine size bag of doritos per serving
1 Loaf of wonder bread
1 bottle of cayenne pepper
Sprinkle cayenne pepper on the bread slices to desired toxicity before lightly toasting them.
Put a layer of doritoes down on one side of the bread, and then squeeze jelly on it to act like sort of a mortar, so that more doritoes will stick to the top of it. Mash down another slice of bread on top of it using enough force to make it resemble a sandwich, but not hard enough to splatter the jelly in a 360 degree radius. Caution: Prepare beverages before serving.
Here are three of my favorites. Redistribute at will. All guaranteed to be done in under 30 minutes.
1. Catfish/Snapper Po' Boys
(Not as good as New Orleans Jazz Fest, but okay anywhere else.)
Ingredients:
- catfish or snapper (or other whitefish like halibut, but these two are best) fillets
- corn meal
- cayenne pepper
- flour (a little bit), dried sage (a little bit), salt, pepper
- milk (optional)
- fresh sweet french baguette
- tartar sauce
- sweet sliced pickles
- Louisiana hot sauce (Crystal is best)
- Lemons
Equipment:
- cast iron skillet (MANDATORY)
- mixing bowls
First make the breading. To enough cornmeal to cover all fillets, add a little bit of flour, enough cayenne to make it just short of too hot to eat straight, a dash of sage, salt, and pepper. Then wash the fish well, making sure it's deboned. Dip the fish into milk if you drink milk, or water if you don't; then dip in the breading until your fish is well covered.
While you're doing this, preheat the iron skillet. It should be quite hot, but not so hot as to burn the oil (vegetable oil is best, though you can use butter too). Fry the fish until done but DO NOT overcook - it should be tender and juicy, not dry like a Filet-O-Fish.
Cut the baguette into sandwich rolls. Spread tartar sauce on it, then add the freshly cooked fish. Add pickles, hot sauce, and juice squeezed from those lemons. Serve with cold beer or iced tea and enjoy!
2. Seared Ahi Tuna Salad
(Like they make in those fancy California restaurants, but better!)
Ingredients:
- Fresh ahi tuna (the best you can find)
- Peppercorns
- Toasted sesame seeds (kurogoma) (optional)
- Arugula
- Soy sauce
- Soybean oil
Equipment:
- cast iron skillet (MANDATORY)
- very sharp knife
- cutting board
- mortar and pestle, or a good pepper grinder if you don't have that
First crack the pepper. If you have a mortar and pestle, use it. If not, grind a good amount of pepper from the mill - you will be covering the fish with it, so crack/grind enough to do this. Keep the pepper on a flat bowl or plate; if you have kurogoma, mix this into the pepper (but do not crush or grind it). Then wash and dry the arugula, and arrange it on the plates in a nice salad shape.
Next take that cast iron skillet and heat about 1/8 inch of soybean oil (other tasteless oil is fine; DO NOT use olive or corn oil!) until it's quite hot. Wash and pat dry the tuna, then quickly sear it in the oil; just 10-20 sec. per side may be enough to sear the edges while keeping the center rare. Then quickly roll the hot tuna in the pepper (and sesame) mix.
On a good cutting board, slice the steaks sashimi style and serve in an appealing way atop the arugula. Dress with a little bit of soy sauce and eat with chopsticks. Delicious!
3. Tomato Mozzarella Salad (Caprese)
(Perfect for hot summer nights.)
Ingredients:
- Fresh tomatoes, preferably heirloom but whatever is most delicious at the farmers' market
- Fresh mozzarella, preferably the kind sold in water at an Italian deli
- Fresh basil
- Salt and pepper
- Extra virgin olive oil
- Balsamic vinegar
First, make sure the tomatoes are really fresh. Is it not summer? Have they ever been refrigerated, even for an hour? Did you buy them at the supermarket? If so, forget this recipe; make sauce instead.
If your tomatoes are good enough, it's quite easy: slice them into 3/8" slices, and do the same with the mozzarella. Slice the basil into 1/4' strips. (Wash everything first, of course.) Arrange on the plate, mozzarella on the bottom, then tomatoes, then basil; dress with olive oil, balsamic, salt and pepper. Serve as an appetizer or a salad with a good red wine.
sulli
RTFJ.
Hmmmm....once everyone helps write the book, lets hope it doesn't suddenly become closed source (published and sold) like so many other things lately...
1) Poke hole in plastic film 2) Microwave at high for 1 minute 3) Rotate 90 degrees 4) Microwave again for 1 minute. 5) Remove plastic film 6) Season to taste and enjoy!
I am MuchTall
Better not have recipes from Brittney Spears' new restaurnat, or the RIAA will be all over your book like white on rice.
CD Copies, Manicotti's, what's the difference?
A better combination:
1 can Campbell's Chunky Potato-Corn Chowder
1/2 cup milk
1 can Trader Joe's Crabmeat
Mix the soup and milk and bring to simmer. Add crab and simmer 10 minutes more. Serve.
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Credits: dmg
Yet again the Linux so-called elite, backed up by their pseudo intellectual cohorts of the w3c conspire to ruin Linux's chances in the marketplace by sowing confusion and complexity. As someone with years of experience in the marketing world, I am constantly amazed at the willingness of the W3C and other bodies to pollute the acronym space with their content free "TLAs".
Basic marketing 101 (and an undergrad course in psychology) would tell them that the normal person is only capable of remembering approximately 7 items of data in their short-term memory, but now we have to remember HTTP, HTML, XML, XSL, DTD, PHP, SSL, DSL, ADSL, ISDN, Perl, etc etc etc
This is a text book example of the tail wagging the dog from a marketing perspective.
I have been following the standardisation of the web for many many months now, but one thing has become clear, E-commerce will NEVER become popular so long as there are so many confusing acronyms involved. The guys in charge of marketing Linux absolutely MUST work to reduce the number of acronyms. One possible solution would be to merge those protocols which are not all that different. For example, why not merge XML with SGML ? (they could call it XSGML or SXGML or perhaps XMSGML), they seem to address the same problems. Or would that be too simplistic a solution for their pampered elitist ivy-league minds to comprehend ?
If something is not done URGENTLY, and I mean URGENTLY, Linux (and other more experimental derivatives such as FreeBSD) can never hope to be taken seriously as an e-commerce platform by the people who count - the accountants.
The miracle of Linux is that anyone actually runs it at all, considering one seems to require a masters in computer science to install it! (contrast this with NT4 which was so easy to install, we let our receptionist upgrade her own machine).
As usual my "open source" advice is free. Hopefully this time my valuable advice will be taken into account the next time the w3c smell an acronym brewing.
Finally, in conclusion, as an American, I am saddened that the Internet seems to have been commandeered by a European based protocol. Was America so short of talent we had to buy the HTML protocol from Tom Berners-Lee at CERN ?
Think of the security implications of the worlds strongest economy, running an e-commerce protocol developed by a foreigner from Socialist Europe. Remember the wall has not been down for that long. Who knows what kind of trojans might be lurking within the depths of these complicated protocols.
I am afraid I am behind Al Gore on this point, how can this be necessary in the home of smart corporations such as Microsoft and Intel ? The answer is the vast subsidies given by European socialist governments to fund development of the HTML specification.
The solution is clear. The federal government should mandate and strongly subsidise the use of Microsoft software for all US corporations involved in e-commerce. Only with a US-developed set of protocols can we be assured of the security of our transactions.
- posted by poopbot: who doesn't like scat?
WNguowAoJ5 Post #577
This is isn't so easy as crushing up chips and adding cheese but it's a nifty kind of recipe because most of the ingredients are optional depending on what you have lying around or how much effort you want to put into it. the burgers are also cheap at about 1$ for 8 patties (english muffin sized since an 8 pack of english muffins is also 1$) they can't be undercooked since there's no meat and storage is also easy. you don't even need to cook them and you'll get a tunaish substance.
base ingredients (the more the merrier)
1 block tofu
1 cup oats
1/4 cup wheat germ
1/4 cup nutritional yeast flakes
2 T soy sauce
optional ingredients
2 sticks celery
1 carrot
1/2 an onion
1/2 c any nuts
1/4 t basil, oregano, blk pepper, salt, garlic powder, or onion powder
pretty much anything else
mince all ingredients together and fry until brown or bake at 350F for 10 mins. per side.
another yummy easy recipe
DIY pizza
2c general purpose flour
1c wheat flour
1T baking powder
1 bottle of beer (8oz? i think)
mix it all up, spread on 12" oiled baking pan, sauce and top to your heart's extent, bake at 375F for 20-25mins
Ingredients:
4 hard-boiled eggs
1 cup of mayonaisse
1 can pink salmon
1 tblspoon butter
1/2 cup shredded cheese
1 small onion
---
Separate egg whites from egg yolks,
To salad bowl add layering:
Grated whites, mayonaisse, cheese
Put grated butter, add fine-chopped onions,
mashed salmon, mayonaisse,
yolks.
Garnish with parsley
Put in fridge for at least 1 hour.
Ingredients: Natalie Portman
directions
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
Happy Troll Tuesday!
I've been using home computers since the VIC-20 and I've come to dread and fear the possibility of being forced to adopt Linux as a result of Microsoft's heavy-handedness. After being hyped by friends and co-workers about the pleasures of this great and fantastic open-source operating system, I attempted to load Linux, not once but four times on three year old PC that was previously running Win98.
The first time took me about an hour to realize that I had to reformat the hard disk and wipe out years worth of work (after backing it up on CD-R). Then I had to figure that the only way to get the Linux CD to actually start loading was to boot it from the CD by modifying the CMOS settings as the PC was starting up. A simple line suggesting this that could have been printed on the CD would have saved a lot of time!
After loading a whole gigabyte of stuff onto the empty hard drive (do I really need to load 50 megabytes of TeX fonts when I'm just trying to get a demo of Linux????), the entire process halted when the floppy disk drive didn't respond. The Linux loader demanded a working floppy backup of some obscure file be made and since I've never used the floppy drive, I didn't know that it didn't work. The installation process locked up and I had to reboot.
The reboot left me in UNIX hell: a black screen half filled with incomprehensible characters with a single flashing dollar sign as the only indication that the entire PC was still working. No matter what I typed or tried (simple intutitve commands like 'help' 'review' 'exit' 'restore' 'dir' 'What the fuck is happening?') nothing made any intelligent response except for returning me to the flashing dollar sign. Shit! I'm in Dante's seventh circle of hell for misers. I was forced to reformat the hard drive and reinstall Windows in order to confirm that I still had a working PC.
I bought a new floppy drive that I will never use in order to load this wonderful and fantastic operating system. Reformated the hard drive, reset the CMOS, and loaded a whole gig of worthless junk from the penguin CD. Everything loaded and I made all of the selections for keyboard and mouse ect... The system rebooted and got to the point where it should have started to work and simply stopped. No response to mouse, keypress, or anything. I reloaded Windows (it worked perfectly) and decided to load Linux on my new good computer.
I ended up back bashed back in UNIX hell and having to load Windows and ALL of my programs and files from CD backups, which took hours. I convinced that Linux is some kind of really bad joke or else an 'emperor's new clothes' type of mass hallucination. How can anyone with a pretension of being a computer professional seriously believe or claim that this junk is ready to take on Windows?
- posted by poopbot: the bot formerly known as pwpbot
s6rc0d3a10 Post #578
2 - 1/4" slices of ham
1 stick hot pepperoni (the thin, dry kind)
1 large onion
1 bell pepper (red or green or 1/2 each)
1 tsp garlic
4 ribs celery
2-3 small cans tomato paste
8 cups chicken broth
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1/2 tsp oregano
4 cups white rice
Make the rice with the chicken broth instead of water. You want this rice to not be sticky or overcooked.
Dice: ham, onion, bell pepper, garlic
Slice: pepperoni, celery
Fry all above in a light oil, gradually mixing in spices until bell pepper and celery are very slightly soft, but before onion carmelizes. Add tomato paste, mix, and increase heat and stir for a few minutes to coat everything well. Mix with rice and serve. Makes a lot! Good for parties.
I just want something that doesn't take away any of my precious coding time. That's why my diet lately has degenerated into snacking on cold cereal. Time from box to mouth: 5 seconds!
1) Grab a bag of Cheetos
2) Open it
3) Serve to friends at room temperature.
4) Enjoy!
Spaghetti Pie 1 package of spaghetti (1 lb.), or any pasta 1/2 Cup or more grated Mozzerella Cheese 2 eggs Parmesan Cheese (shaky cheese) 1 small container of Cottage Cheese Microwavable pie plate or casserole *Optional Spaghetti Sauce Boil Pasta, drain. Mix container of cottage cheese, Mozzerella, lots of Parmesan and eggs with warm pasta. Pour into pie plate or casserole. Microwave on high for 10-15 mins. or until top starts to brown. Serve with warm spaghetti sauce poured over top of slice or without! Serves 4-8 depending on how you divide slices In House Stromboli 2 loaves Frozen bread dough 1/2 lb. provolone cheese 1/2 lb. grated Mozzerella cheese Spaghetti Sauce Flour Rolling Pin cookie sheet Pan spray Defrost frozen bread following maunfacturers' instructions. Prehat oven to 350. Spray cookie sheet. Roll out each loaf - spread thin layer of flour on counter, rub rolling pin with flour, roll out until same size as cookie sheet, place one loaf on cookie sheet, pour on thin layer of spaghetti sauce, layer cheeses and any toppings of choice (pepperoni, veggies, spinach, etc.), place second loaf on top and roll over edges. Bake in oven at 350 for 1/2 hour or less. Serves 6-8 again on how you cut it
No shit, you mean your not next weeks challenger on Iron Chef. Oh yeah, no canned soup in that arena.
We're talking about geeks here.No were talking about food you stupid fuck. At least I was. You talking about preprocessed crap.
Recipe
Some Chicken, thighs work, but whatever
One clove of garlic for each piece of chicken, peeled
Put them in a baking dish
Pour in enough balsamic vinager enough to cover the bottom of the dish, stir a little
Cover with tin foil
Bake until the chicken is ready (aproximately 35 minutes at 300 degrees assuming you used thighs)
Make some rice while it's baking
When the chicken is ready, take it out, mash the garlic into the remaining vinager and pour that over the chicken and the rice
Tastes awesome.
I'm surprised no one's mentioned that great nachos spin-off, Fritos Pie. Maybe it's just a Texas thing.
Anyway, you get a bag of Fritos, split it open lengthwise along the seam, microwave a can of canned chili, and dump the chili over the Fritos in the bag. Add Tabasco to taste. Eat with a spoon. Classic simple food.
Ends up you're not the first person to think of this. A bunch of people from the Ars forums (who are the geek types asked for) compiled together a "Bachelor's" cookbook and released it as a PDF (no, it's not *GPL*/whatever, but it's just compiled together by some guy from posts). It has a total of 180 or so recipies ranging everything from breakfast to full entrees to sides.
Download from here: http://ars.flyingember.com/
I came up with this when i was too lazy to go out to taco bell:
Ground Beef
Onion
Cheese
Salsa
Fries
Brown the beef, add the onions and wait for them to get soft. Stir in the salsa, and grate as much cheese as you want. Add some chili powder and wuster sauce, salt + pepper. Stir, and pour on top of some cruncy fries. The fries get all nices and soggy.
One of my favorites:
:). If you don't like broccoli as much as me, you can try it with 1/2 bag (about 8oz). This recipe is very customizeable, so feel free to experiment.
Cooking Time: 10-15min
1 box(lb) Penne pasta (or zita, raddiatore, whatever)
1 bag(lb) chopped broccoli (not cut or whole; chopped, it's usually in the frozen foods section)
1 clove minced garlic (or some garlic powder)
3 tblspoon oil (olive or whatever)
1/2 cup parmesan or romano cheese
Boil water and add pasta.
Cook halfway and add broccoli, continue to boil until pasta is al dente.
In bowl, combine garlic, oil, cheese, and salt and pepper to taste.
Drain pasta and broccoli and toss with garlic/oil/cheese mixture.
Serve.
You may adjust the amount of broccoli and/or cheese to your liking, I like lots of both, so I usually just poured in cheese until I felt like stopping
I ate this a lot while in college, it's nice, quick and tasty. Not to mention cheap since I can usually get two, sometimes three meals out of one box of pasta, for only about 3-5 bucks in ingredients. It also tastes okay after being in the fridge a day or two and nuked later.
Things you think are in the Constitution, but are not.
Slightly non-traditional, but still delicious....
:-) I am.
Rim glass with celery salt, add ice, and
1 1/2 oz Vodka or Dry Gin (the gin Caesar is really good)
4 oz Motts Clamato (regular)
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp Worchestershire sauce
1/2 tsp of your favorite hot sauce, or to taste
Fresh ground pepper to taste
Garnish with celery stalks and bell pepper slices.
For a little extra zest, add 1/2 tsp horseradish if desired.
Relax and enjoy
Cheers
My favorite, and one that's in the fridge now, starts off life as Seafood Mushroom Alfredo, then becomes Seafood Chowder.
:)
3 jars mushroom alfredo sauce
1-2 pounds each scallops, shrimp, crab, mushrooms
(imitation crab is fine, bay or sea scallops both work, and you can mix small cocktail shrimp with the larger ones, too. Use more seafood if you have more - the stuff in the fridge has a pound of lobster tails in it too, as well as 3 pounds of scallops and 2 each crab and shrimp.)
1/4 cup lemon juice
pepper to taste
Cook the crab and shrimp in the microwave; remove shells and de-vein shrimp. Sautee 'shrooms in some butter. Pour in the sauce and lemon juice, add seafood and simmer till the seafood is all cooked. Serve over pasta.
Take the leftover sauce, and add:
1 pk frozen peas
1 pk frozen corn
1 large potato, cubed and microwaved to cook (about 8 minutes on High).
1 quart milk
Heat until it simmers, serve in soup bowls. Can be served with / over rice, too. It's also great cold
It sounds terribly expensive, but this makes a huge pot that feeds two adults for nearly a week, so the actual cost per meal is pretty low, especially if you catch sales (like I did here recently. Sea scallops, King crab clusters and gigantic shrimp, $6.99/lb, 4-ounce lobster tails $4 each.)
Lemon curry?
2 8oz steaks (I use ribeye, but have also used new york steak), or 4 4oz chicken breasts
1oz Sesame Seed Oil
3oz of your favorite vegtable oil (I use canola)
2 tsp. fresh ginger, grated (you can substitute 1 tsp dry ground ginger)
1 tbsp roasted sesame seeds
Heat the oils over a medium heat until they are just shy of smoking (usually about 4 minutes). Add the ginger and sautee briefly. Cube the meat into 3/4 inch cubes. Add the cubes to the oil, cooking to desired finish. Add the sesame seeds and toss before serving over fresh rice, or pasta.
Serves 4
Cornbread Surprise:
1 cornbread mix package
4 oz. maple syrup
Bake cornbread per its instructions. Crumble in a bowl. Pour maple syrup over cornbread. Serve lukewarm.
Total Tuna
4 oz. chunk light tuna
2-4 oz. spaghetti sauce
Scrape every last morsel of tuna from its can into a bowl. Pour agreeable portion of spaghetti sauce over tuna. Microwave. Garnish with lettuce leaf.
I lived on these two delicacies *alone* for two months after getting laid off back in 1999. I went nine months between paychecks while attending college classes full time (finishing degree I started on back in 1991). Worst time of my life. Enjoy!
This is not nearly as dangerous as downing a couple of perkacets (sp?) (or insert a favorite benzediazapene here) and a couple of ritalin, or some other crank/crank-substitute (bronchiol dialators accepted, but frowned upon).
Actually in the given situation of a lan party, you get just enough jolt/glaze over to get into some serious fragging, thus buying your body time to process.
and for the record, yes red bull is vile. It's got this chemical yet bubble gum flavor. It reminds me of a candy-raver after a looong night of sweaty dancing. but I'm not drinking it for taste. Chances are I've got a final tommorrow and work kept me too busy to study enough during the week. Continuing education? Nah, I learned all I needed to know about allnighters in undergrad.
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
Credits: BankOfAmerica_ATM
SUBJECT: GREAT STOCK OPPORTUNITY!!! help me Get Big Brands on eBay I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM! PENTIUM III CPU's IN STOCK
END TRANSMISSION.
- posted by poopbot: information likes to be narrow
d2jOkL1ET1 Post #579
Less than 25 cents a package, prep time about 3 minutes. If someone at a LAN party wants something better, they can order it.
Seriously, a proper lan party survives on pizza and jolt (or Mountain Dew).
-- Will program for bandwidth
There seem to be a few projects already going.
t p://mealplanner.sourceforge.net/
This looks like the best one:
http://grdb.sourceforge.net/
But here are some interesting ones:
http://sourceforge.net/projects/timbu/
ht
Just go to sourceforge.net and search for "recipe". There's a few interesting ones that look similar to this idea.
It had to be at most a matter of minutes before this Request For Recipes would result in a creative use of RFPs (Ramen Flavor Packets).
So predictable these geeks are. Like a clone army they become.
...Nothing interesting here. Just move along...
Why of course, it comes from the finest natural ingredients found in the-
-wAIt a MINute.... Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! It's PEOPLE!!!
-f
www.blackant.net
for all of those trendy Atkins freaks;
word.
Mix together one jar of your favorite salsa and a chopped up block of Velveeta.
Microwave until the cheese is melted. Stir.
Serve with your chips of choice.
It is now official. Netcraft confirms: *BSD is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered *BSD community when IDC confirmed that *BSD market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all servers. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that *BSD has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. *BSD is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict *BSD's future. The hand writing is on the wall: *BSD faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for *BSD because *BSD is dying. Things are looking very bad for *BSD. As many of us are already aware, *BSD continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
FreeBSD is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core developers. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time FreeBSD developers Jordan Hubbard and Mike Smith only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: FreeBSD is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
OpenBSD leader Theo states that there are 7000 users of OpenBSD. How many users of NetBSD are there? Let's see. The number of OpenBSD versus NetBSD posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 NetBSD users. BSD/OS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of NetBSD posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of BSD/OS. A recent article put FreeBSD at about 80 percent of the *BSD market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 FreeBSD users. This is consistent with the number of FreeBSD Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Walnut Creek, abysmal sales and so on, FreeBSD went out of business and was taken over by BSDI who sell another troubled OS. Now BSDI is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that *BSD has steadily declined in market share. *BSD is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If *BSD is to survive at all it will be among OS dilettante dabblers. *BSD continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, *BSD is dead.
Fact: *BSD is dying
- posted by poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!
XjFruY4mRK Post #580
not that I can find a link, but...
I saw a book once that had a number of recipes using things found in most hotel rooms. The crowning acheivement was cooking raw chicken in a coffee maker! (put chicken in coffee filter. Put a full pot of water through 5-6 times or until chicken is no longer pink inside. Then, for the sauce...)
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
Some guy going to see LOTR:Two Towers had a recipe for brownies.
As someone who has spent a good deal of time studying cooking and who cooks at home quite a bit, I'm a little fuzzy on the intent of this proposal. I do NOT want to troll this post and I'm not trying to put it down at all. But this is a bit like asking the community, "Hey everyone, I'm writing some software and I'd like you all just to throw in some lines of code that you really like."
...
Fact is, great cookbooks are like great software of any kind. They're focused, they have recipes that frequently complement each other, they have a specific problem or series of related problems they're trying to address and they have a specific audience: Beginners, grillers, southwestern interests, Chinese, French, quick chicken dishes, etc. So far as I can read I'm still not getting a clear picture and it's not that one wasn't attempted. But what exactly is the sort of thing that would go really well after four hours coding? Various cheese dishes? One coder's caviar is another coder's grease I'm afraid.
Also, judging from some of the posts already, there's something that truly gifted cooks and truly powerful coders have in common: They're rare
Hopefully programmers can appreciate this one:
class Tortillas; (technically they should be corn, but I often used flour)
class CheddarCheese;
class EnchiladaSauce; (or taco sauce)
typedef stack Enchilada;
Enchilada MakeEnchilada()
{
Enchilada ret;
ret.push(new Plate());
do
{
ret.push(new Tortilla());
ret.push(new EnchiladaSauce());
ret.push(new Cheese());
}
while (!done);
}
Yum.
I usually piled mine 3 or 4 high depending on how hungry I was.
Things you think are in the Constitution, but are not.
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Credits: anonymous
"Mmmm... this feels good..." I sighed.
"Shhh!" hissed Hemos. "We don't want Mark to come in here!"
True. Having Hemos's 16 year-old brother walk in on us at that moment would not be good. I didn't think he'd be too cool with finding his 12 year-old brother lying naked with me, holding my 11 year-old dick in his hands. But, in all fairness, my hands were eagerly playing with Hemos's dick and balls at that moment, too.
Hemos's mom and dad had gone to the drive-in, leaving his big brother in charge. In our favor, leaving Mark in charge pretty much guaranteed that we weren't to bother him, and in turn, he'd leave us alone unless we were making too much noise or breaking something. Well, we were being careful to keep quiet because we very much wanted to be left alone.
We were in Hemos's twin bed, snuggled under the covers with our underwear pushed down to the foot of the bed. The only illumination in the room came from the faint sliver of light that crept in under his bedroom door. Even in the shadows I could make out the shape of my friend; about my height, but heavier. (Hell, I was such a skinny runt that everyone was heavier than me.) Hemos had a crew-cut of white-blonde hair, and was only starting to sprout some pubic hair. But, you had to feel for it because what little pubic hair he possessed was as blonde as the short hair on his hea and could not yet be seen by even a minimal distance.
And, I was happily feeling for it, running my hands all over Hemos's slightly larger erection and fondling his larger testicles while he courteously stroked my dick. I could tell that he didn't possess the same enthusiasm for cockplay as I did, unless you count his appreciation for the attention devoted to his member. And I knew that my willingness to satisfy his sexual urges was one of the few reasons he even had me sleep over at his place. But, I didn't let that stop me from finding pleasure in the handling of his meat.
I'd recently had an "introduction", of sorts, to seeing what someone could do with a man's dick with their mouth. While spending the night with my Uncle Jerry a couple weeks before, while I watched in secret, I was treated to a visual display of the intensity and unabashed pleasure that my uncle had obviously enjoyed having another man suck on his cock. From that moment on, I had a yearning that I needed to satisfy. With who was my only question.
I guess it was time to find out.
"I... heard that sucking on it feels even better than playing with it." I ventured.
In the darkness, I could feel a slight jerk of revulsion in Hemos's body.
"Put a dick in your mouth?" he croaked.
"Well, " I countered, my heart pounding with anxiety, "I think adults do it all the time."
"Well, I'm not gonna do it!" Hemos hissed. "That's homo stuff!"
"Yeah." I sighed disappointedly, while still playing with Hemos's dick. "I guess it is."
As I stroked his shaft in a steadier, milking rhythm, I could sense Hemos's breaths getting quicker. His manipulations of my dick began to falter as I could feel his body tense beside me. His hips rocked slightly in time with my pumping of his cock, and I cradled his balls tenderly in my other hand. When any attentions to my own dick has completely ebbed, I knew what was about to happen, so I picked up the pace just a bit more while lending a touch more pressure in my grip. Finally, Hemos's breath caught in his throat, and he turned his face fully into his pillow to stifle the moans that broke free as his cock pulsed and throbbed in a dry orgasm within my hands. I continued to massage him and didn't release him from my grasp until his member had gone fully soft.
"Man," sighed Hemos dreamily after finally catching his breath. "You are so good at that, CmdrTaco."
At least I had something to be proud of, I guess, as my friend gently withdrew himself from me and rolled onto his back.
Even though I was only eleven, the irony of Hemos's words and actions were not lost on me. My sucking on him would have been a "homo" thing, but beating him off was okay. Go figure. Within the few moments I had spent mulling over the irony of the thoughts, Hemos had drifted off to sleep. I slipped out from under the covers and down to the cool floor so I could masturbate without shaking the bed. As I toyed with my own dick, I imagined Hemos's cock in my mouth, wondering if the chance would ever really come. Finally, my own climax washed over me, and I got back into the bed.
I don't sleep real well to begin with, and even worse when I'm not in my own bed. And now, with the thoughts of a dick so close to me, as well as the vivid memories of secretly seeing man-to-man cocksucking pleasure floating through my prepubescent, sex-filled brain, I was not about to fall asleep anytime soon. Lying awake until around 11:30, I finally decided that I needed to do something to satisfy my hungers, or I'd never be able to let it rest. The trick was in finding the guts to follow through.
I knew that whenever Hemos fell asleep, he pretty much stayed asleep. So, since he was sleeping soundly, lying on his back, I took a deep breath and gingerly ducked my head under the covers and scooted down as much as I could to the foot of the bed. That put my head right at Hemos's hip level. I raised my head and upper body to help create a tent over his crotch. Sniffing around, I found the faint scent of young penis flesh. I inhaled deeply, both in the love of the scent, and in an attempt to slow my pounding heart. I opened my mouth wide over the area where I sensed Hemos's dick to be, and lowered my mouth squarely over his soft cock and balls until I could feel his sparse pubic hairs tickling my cheek. I finally had a dick in my mouth! I just wasn't sure what I'd do if Hemos woke to find his "homo" friend in this situation.
I remained like that for a long moment, partially in fear of trying anything more, and partly to savor the moment. I carefully let my tongue start to explore his tender penile flesh, enjoying the texture. Then came the excitement that welled within me as his cock began to respond to my attentions and harden in my warm and wet mouth! Butterflies seemed to explode in my stomach and drown out my heartbeat as I felt his dick get to its full size in my mouth. Concentrating in that dark environment, I found myself beginning to identify the shape of his member by taste. The shaft actually seemed to taste different than the head, and the thin skin of his scrotum seemed to harbor another distinct flavor.
I started to softly suck on Hemos's dick, becoming fascinated at how it just seemed to, well, 'fit' in my mouth... how the head lent itself to the back of my tongue, and how the shaft rested between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. My excitement was so great that my own recently satisfied dick was responding again, inviting me to play. I was sucking a cock, and I was in heaven!
However, within seconds, Hemos seemed to get restless. In fear, I quickly pulled my mouth away from Hemos's candy stick and held still. The covers rustled, and pulled back.
"Whatcha doin'?" mumbled Hemos.
"I... uh... was trying to find my shorts down here," I lied, starting to fumble near our feet. Well, partial lie, because it was a good idea to do so, anyway, and now was as good a time as any.
"Oh, yeah," said Hemos. "Get mine, too, willya?"
"S-sure" I stammered, relieved.
I located the two items of clothing and scooted back up towards the head of the bed. Thankfully, our underwear were pretty easy to distinguish since Hemos wore boxers, and I wore briefs. We both fumbled to put them on in the dark, and then settled back into the bed. I lay stiffly on my back, still harboring some fear that my friend discovered more than he let on, but Hemos simply rolled onto his side, facing away from me, and promptly went back to sleep.
And, here I was again, so close to my fantasies, yet still so far.
And very much awake.
After hearing the clock in the hallway chime midnight, I finally got up to go to the bathroom. Figuring it was late enough not to be an issue, and since even if Hemos's parents were home that they would be in their own bedroom downstairs, I didn't bother to slip on my pants for the short trip down the hall. I walked softly to the bedroom door, and then stepped out into the hallway, illuminated dimly by a bare-bulb night light. I walked past big brother Mark's door to the bathroom at the end of the hall and turned on the light as I shut the door.
Peeing into the toilet, I looked up at my reflection in the large mirror and smiled slyly to myself. I actually sucked on a dick, even if for only a moment! At that moment I was Rob Maldo, secret agent double-O-seven, who could sneak in and suck a dick, and sneak away without being caught!
I flushed the toilet and switched out the light as I headed back down the hall. Slipping past Mark's door once again, the door flew open, and a hand covered my mouth while a muscular arm snapped around my waist and drew me into the room. Squirming in the arms of Hemos's athletic older brother was a waste of effort, and he only squeezed harder until I settled down.
"You'll keep quiet if you know what's good for you,' growled Mark into my ear. "You gonna be quiet?"
I nodded. Mark let go of my mouth and reached over to close his bedroom door, the other hand and arm still holding me firmly with my feet off the ground. I heard something click, and recalled, and not without a certain amount of childish fear, that Mark had a lock on his door.
The room had a yellowish glow from the large lava lamp next to Mark's bed. He took me over to the bed and tossed me face down onto it, kneeling next to me. I thought briefly about trying to get up and run, but to where?
When I felt Mark's hands on me again, I was determined to fight him off, but I was no match for him as he flipped me onto my back and straddled me, sitting squarely on my upper chest, his knees pinning my shoulders and my arms locked between his legs. I gazed up at his lean, muscled torso, his stern blue eyes under a tussled mane of reddish-blonde hair. I could feel the soft fabric of his boxers against my chin.
"Can't get up, can ya?" he said, grinning down at me, all snide and victorious.
I struggled a bit, more out of obligation, but knew it was no use. Mark was just too big for me.
"Whatsamatter?" huffed Mark. "You too weak to fight? Or, maybe you just like laying there, sniffing dicks?"
I started squirming a bit harder, but Mark's legs only clamped tighter. At least he had scooted down a bit, and was no longer suffocating me with his weight on my chest.
"Yeah! Maybe you're a homo-boy who just likes sniffing dicks. Maybe you wanna sniff my big dick?"
I didn't care for where this was going, and I wasn't too comfortable with the tone of Mark's voice. But, I was also not being given much of a choice in the matter. Especially when Mark reached into the fly of his boxers and pulled out his cock.
"Here you are, homo-boy... a nice, fresh big-man dick!" grinned Mark fiendishly. "Ain't it a beaut?"
He held it out for me, then leaned forward and started to rub his cock on my face, tracing my cheeks and nose with the bulbous head. His testicles soon followed his dick through the opening, until they were dangling on my chin, the coarse pubes tickling my lips. Their faint musky scent began to fill my nostrils.
"CmdrTaco's just a little dick-faced homo-boy, ain't he?" sneered Mark, sliding his cock across my face. "I saw you in there, your head under the covers. What were you doing? Giving my little brother a blow job?"
I didn't answer. I was at once shocked at the thought of having been discovered, and confused by Mark's remark. I then guessed that he meant sucking a dick was called a 'blow job'. But... you're not blowing, you're sucking, and-
"You were, weren't you, you little homo!"
It was obvious what had happened; that Mark had looked in on us to find my head under the blankets. I thought I had sensed a miniscule change in the light, but assumed that to be part of my excitement. That must have been what woke Hemos up so suddenly.
"So, maybe you aren't just dick-faced, " he said, rubbing his cock on my face again. "Maybe you're a dick sucker!" He leaned forward, mashing his hairy ball sack into my nose, then pulling back to trace my features again with his member. But, even as Mark taunted me, treating his cock as a threatening weapon, there was something else happening.
He was getting a boner.
And as I closed my eyes, I could feel his cock thickening against my face. I could sense the heat of his hardening dick directly on my flesh. And, I found I was enjoying the sensations of this older cock against my face. There would soon be no way of hiding the fact that I was getting excited, too.
"So, dick-sucker-CmdrTaco... you're gonna suck my dick, now."
My eyes sprung open to see Mark's fully erect cock pointing at my face. While it wasn't huge (I had already seen 'huge' with my Uncle Jerry), it was still big enough to scare me.
And excite me to no end.
"Open wide, homo-boy."
Without another moment of hesitation, or taking my eyes off of Mark's sleek tool, I opened my mouth as wide as I could and watched as he leaned down and slid that beautiful cock into my waiting mouth. I then settled my tongue against the bottom half of his shaft while I could feel the upper half press against the roof of my mouth. Its texture was soft, yet hard; smooth, yet distinct.
"There," he sighed. "Now, you have a real dick to suck on. Now, get started, suck-boy!"
It was so much bigger than Hemos's young dick, I wasn't sure if I could get enough suction worked up to suck on it. It was then that I found out what sucking a cock is really all about: friction.
Mark held the base of his dick to guide himself and started to pump into my mouth, sliding his dick in and out of my salivating lips. He would slip in precariously between my teeth until he was near to choke me, then pull back out until the base of the bulbous head was just close to popping free from my lips, held in place by the suction of my mouth. Then he... we... would do it all over again... over and over... and gloriously over again.
"Oh, you are good, CmdrTaco," he moaned softly. "You suck cock real good."
I don't know about that; it seemed he was doing all the real work. But, I wanted it to be good. I wanted to have this dick in my mouth. And I wanted it again and again. I was definitely enjoying the oral sensations as his near-adult dick worked back and forth in my hungry mouth, and I wanted so much to please him so he would want my mouth again.
Mark placed his other hand on the top of my head to steady me as his thrusts became a little more erratic. His breath quickened, and I could sense that he was trying hard not to ram himself all the way down my throat and choke me. He was making little grunts with each thrust, and I could feel his dick turn to stone in my mouth when, in a mix of fear and excitement, I suddenly recalled what would happen next.
"Oh, baby... oh, fuck..."
Mark's movements got all quick and jerky. I was almost afraid to breathe.
"OHHHH!!!" he moaned, pulling out of my mouth and letting loose with a burst of white goo that seemed to splatter all over as he pumped his dick with his fist. My head still held firmly in his other hand, the warm liquid flew partly into my still open mouth, and all over my nose and eyebrows. I swallowed briefly, not sure whether to gag or hope for more, tasting fully the salty and musky liquid, then opened my mouth once more as Mark stuck his creaming cock back in and worked the thick fluid throughout my young mouth.
I sucked until Mark went soft and withdrew his spent dick. He smiled down at me, obviously proud of what he had done. He finally got off of me (good thing since I thought my arms were going to fall off) and stood there for a moment, an interesting picture with his hands on his hips, and his drained cock and balls hanging out of the fly of his plaid boxers. I just lay there with his juices clinging to my skin, wanting to do it all over again.
Mark bent down and picked up a t-shirt, and proceeded to wipe the remainder of his goo off my face. Finished with that, he tossed the shirt into a hamper and walked over to his bedroom door to unlock it as he tucked his manhood back into his underwear.
"You better get back into Hemos's bed before mom and dad find you here," he said softly.
I reluctantly got off Mark's bed and walked to the door. As I was about to exit, he reached out to stop me briefly.
"You liked that, didn't you, homo-boy?"
I nodded, not sure where he was going with this inquiry.
"Your first taste of cum?"
I shrugged, then nodded again.
"If you're good, maybe I'll let you suck my dick again some time, CmdrTaco. Now, get your ass out of here before I kick it."
I stepped out of the room and felt the door close harshly behind me. I could still taste traces of Mark's cum in my mouth, could still sense the friction of his cock on my tongue. I smiled in remembrance.
I was hooked.
- posted by poopbot: because even your grandmother can use lunix
F6Wkelhjfe Post #581
Ingredients:
- 1 box, Lucky Charms
- [Many] bottles, Jolt cola
Recipe:- Eat Lucky charms
- Drink Jolt cola
Of course, that's just for the lazy. When a real craving hit us, we'd ask an American player who had the then luxury of both a connection from home and a second phoneline to call transatlantic and get us a pizza delivered to the uni computer lab. Oh, and the guy who sat in the corner with his monitor turned in to the wall was <HEAVILY EMPHASISED> not </HEAVILY EMPHASISED> allowed to touch any of the pizza until we were all done.I used to make this stuff all the time when I was a kid. It looks as bland as a bowl of oatmeal, but properly seasoned, it is an awesome quick dish that takes just a few minutes. Mmmm comfort food, I think I'm gonna go run to the store after writing this :)
1 can of Campbells or similar Cream of Mushroom or Cream of Chicken soup
1 can Minute (or other fast-cooking) rice.
1 can milk or mater (or 1/2 milk, 1/2 water)
Bring soup and milk/water to a good rolling boil, mixing thoroughly.
Add 1 can rice. Reduce heat to simmer and cover. Cook on low for 10 minutes, stir occasionally.
Add salt/pepper to taste.
std::disclaimer<std::legalese> sig=new std::disclaimer; sig->dump(); delete sig;
The Tobstah's Own Chunky Chocolate Granola Goo(TM)
Serves one person
Ingredients:
One packet of Swiss Miss hot chocolate powder
Hot water or milk
Granola or some other cereal
Whipped cream (optional)
Chocolate sprinkles (optional)
Instructions:
1)Run about one inch (~2 cm) of hot water into a cup. This prevents bottom stickage.
2) Slowly pour the hot chocolate powder in while adding more hot water. Fill to about one inch from the top.
3) Add granola until it's either saturated, overflows, or you have some other plans.
4)Garnish with whipp cream and sprinkles.
5)Offer to make one for that cute chick over in the corner.
6)have a witty response for when she comments on your spelling abilities (or lack thereof).
Happy Troll Tuesday!
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered trolling community when recently Slashdot confirmed that, after several changes were made to production Slashcode, wide posts account for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all Slashdot posts. Coming on the heels of the latest verions of IE which make page-widening more difficult, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. the wide posts that we love are collapsing into the narrow posts that we are used to, as further exemplified by the lack of Slashbots complaining about difficulty reading Slashdot's articles.
You don't need to be a Klerck to predict PWP's future. The hand writing is on the wall: PWP faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for PWP because PWP is dying. Things are looking very bad for PWP. As many of us are already aware, PWP continues to be defeated by users with thresholds of 1 or higher. Mod points flow like a river of blood. Klerck's PWP-bot posts are the most endangered of them all, having been filtered early on because of their uniformity.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
PWP leader Klerck states that there are 7 wide posts in the average Slashdot article. How many non-wide crapflood posts are there? Let's see. The number of crapflood versus wide posts on Slahdot is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7*5 = 35 non-wide crapflood posts in every Slashdot article. Tacosnotting posts on Slashdot are about half of the volume of crapflood posts. Therefore there are about 17 tacosnotting posts per article. A recent article put Goatse.cx trolls at about 80 percent of total troll posts. Therefore there are a hell of a lot of homosexual trolls. This is consistent with the number of Goatse.cx Slashdot posts.
But Slashdot is only part of the picture. Due to the troubles at Slashdot, negative revenue and so on, the site will soon go out of business and many users will flock to alternative weblogs, where PWP is almost completely unknown. Trollaxor.com, the popular troll hangout, is also dying, its corpse sodomized in yet another Greek bath house.
All major surveys show that PWP has steadily declined in the scope of all troll posts. PWP is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If PWP is to survive at all it will be among Blog faggot using outdated versions of Slashcode. PWP continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, PWP is dead.
- posted by poopbot: crapflooding since 7/8/02
mxRXTpypFB Post #582
Julie's Eggie Sandwich:
1 Bagel, your favorite kind, sliced in half like a bun
1 Egg
1 Slice of American Cheese
Garlic Salt Margarine or Butter
No-stick cooking spray
Toast the bagel. Spray a cereal bowl with no-stick spray. Crack the egg in the bowl and beat it with a fork. Sprinkle the beaten egg with a pinch of Garlic Salt (Important so the egg doesn't ball up when cooking.) Microwave the egg for 70 to 80 seconds, depending on your microwave. Butter the toasted bagel and assemble the egg and cheese slice into a sandwich. Enjoy!
Variations:
Add Ham, Bacon or Sausage patty to the stack.
Try mixing a Tablespoon or so of any of the following into the egg before nuking (cook a few seconds longer, too):
Surprisingly, this isn't *that* bad for you - it's as filling as a McMuffin and if you use "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light", Weight Watchers counts this as 7 or 8 points (depending on bagel), and you get a meat and a dairy serving out of it.
"Lawyers are for sucks."
- Doug McKenzie
Ramen Spagetti:
;P):
Get a cheap pack of ramen (AKA Oodles-o-Noodles).
Toss out MSG packet.
Place in bowl with water.
Nuke until soft (about 2 minutes).
Drain water out and mix with spagetti sauce.
Cheese and egg ramen:
Get a cheap pack of ramen (AKA Oodles-o-Noodles).
Toss out MSG packet.
Place in bowl with water and the contents of 1 egg.
Nuke until ramen is soft and the egg's liquid has solidified (about 2-3 minutes).
Drain water out and mix with small pieces of american cheese, continue until cheese has melted.
If cheese doesn't melt, nuke some more until it does.
Sorta Stromboli: (this is what the elementary school I went to passed off as Stromboli, except they used pizza crust and baked)
place american cheese and baloney on a piece of white-bread.
Nuke until cheese is soft.
Fold in half.
and for those unrealistic coding deadlines...
Redbull Vodka (not mine
1 can of Redbull energy drink
however much vodka you feel like
Any sufficiently advanced influence is indistinguishable from control.
I assume that you are looking for some good creations, so I am going to share with you a good dip. One box of mac 'n cheese and one can of campbell's pork and beans mixed together make a great dip for a bag of nacho cheese doritos! Try it - you'll love it.
1. Clean yourself up.
2. Get a girlfriend (or boyfriend?).
3. Talk her (him?) into cooking you food.
4. Repeat step 3 as necessary.
Jake
Dating: while( 1 ){ call_girl(); get_rejected(); drink_40(); } return 0;
Personally, i prefer:
Bachelor Chow! Now with flavor!
.
En DOS FIL med CLI. ^_^
/.Mattsson - My native language is not English, so please don't whine over linguistic errors. (That's lame anyway...)
- one recipe based on nothing but 3 cans of various potato soup.
- another that starts with a big Mac or somesuch.
...
Have you ever heard of fresh products ? You know, basic things that you can use to make a real recipe, just like computer instructions that you put together to write a full program...?Anyway, there are already plenty of recipe website everywhere. I even have one big help file with 10 thousand recipes. And it's freeware, so no need to reinvent the wheel. Only catch: it's all in French...
Non-Linux Penguins ?
> apt-get install cookbook
> apt-get install cook
Then you never have to
> make dinner
Makes alot, but that's OK cuz you can freeze it and microwave later.
:-)
at least 3 Lbs of lean meat, usually beef
3 hot peppers or so. I prefer chippotos
3 tbl garlic (from the little jars)
Black pepper to taste
begin cooking in your spaghetti pot
when meat is half cooked add
2 or 3 tbl cumin
when meat is cooked add
jar of salsa
28oz can of crushed tomatos
half cover the pot and simmer until the meat breaks up when pressed with a wooden spoon, about 3 hours. If meat chunks are large break then up at this point.
Add the following
1 can of drained corn, drained
1 can of black beans, not drained
1 can of kidney beans, not drained
1 tbl cilantro or oregano
This is also a good place to taste and adjust the spices.
simmer 45 min
serve with fritos
Mike
Try epicurious.com, they open up their recipes to the public.
who's the retard who modded this offtopic? go watch more futurama, dipwad
.
A variation on the same that is tasty, nutritious, and 1/2 the work, which presumably makes it more kitchen-hackable:
;-)
1 box Kraft Deluxe Mac & "Cheese"
1 can light tunafish
1 packet onion soup (dried, you know)
1/2 bag frozen peas
Cook mac & cheese as normal. When adding cheese at final step, also add remaining ingredients. Mix thoroughly, serve and eat.
No preheating needed.
Looking for a Rails developer in Chapel Hill?
Members of the permanent floating riot club at MTU in Houghton (the miners) still get through electronics by singing the song based on this experience.
I'll see if I can get lyrics. Any help?
...are a very fat man, aren't you?
"And like that
Here is a spread that will satisfy even the most picky gamers at your next lan gathering Pizza Rolls Prep Time ~20minutes Chilli Cheese Fritos Prep Time n/a ElMontre Microwave Burritos Prep Time ~2minutes/burrito McDonalds $.99 double cheeseburgers Prep Time (depends on traffic at drivethru) Penguin Mints Prep Time n/a Jolt Cola Prep Time (after 30+ hours of gaming, opening the bottle can become difficult)
So has anyone got any recipes that DON'T include pre-packaged this or pre-made that? You know, the ones that only use normal ingredients, like flour, eggs, sugar, vegetables and so on. Seems to me every recipe posted so far is of the "take one packaged of instant bla bla, add water and tomatoes"-variant. How about some REAL recipes?
1 pound polish kielbasa sausage
3 pounds potatos
1 bell peper, any color
1 yellow/brown onion
spice, more on that latter.
Grab a 12" cast iron pan or a casserole dish and a big knife with a
sharp edge. I cook for flavor so I will be assuming cast iron will be
the pan for me and you.
Take the sausage out of the freazer and grab that sharp knife and
start cutting it into disks that are no more than 1/4 of an inch in
thickness. Throw it into the pan.
Chop the potatos so that they are just a hair larger than you would
like to eat in just one bite. Put them in the pan.
You can chop the onion and bell peper how ever you want but bigger is
better and throw those in the pot as well.
Now we add spice. There are a number of differnt ways to spice this
thing but the favorit is a coarse ground steak seasoning and some
garlic salt and black peper. I have also done "everything red", which
is to say chille powder, paprika, red peper, curry and what ever else
is on hand. And you can even sub out the kielbasa and use italian
sausage and herbs for the seasoning.
Toss it all around in the pan so that its good and mixed. Find some
foil, a lid or some other non flameable object to cover the pan and
stick it in the oven at 425-450 d-f. After about 30 minutes or so
its time to go and give it all another toss and take a guess as to how
much longer it will be before its done. Depending on the size of the
potatoes it will take anywhere from 10 to 20 more minutes.
This dish is best once it had a few days to maranate in the cooling unit for
a few days and then sliding it into the radiation device for some
warming. But its good the first day as well. And if you are like me
you might want to throw some real cheese, not the proccessed American
crap, on top of it when you searve it.
Makes 4 super-sized portions or 8 normal ones. Keeps for up to 9 days
in the fridge.
Ascii artist &
(1) 4lb Bag chicken wings, thawed
(1) bottle crystal hot sauce
(1) small bottle catsup
(2) Tbs honey (optional)
Preheat oven @ 250 degrees.
Mix catsup, hot sauce and honey (if you use it) until it reaches a consistency that will coat the chicken, but not run off or blob on.
Stir the mixture into the wings, coating evenly.
Let stand for an hour, covered, on the counter.
Place the wings onto a cookie baking sheet. Bake for 1/2 hour. Remove from oven. Using a turkey baster, suck up as much fat from the pan that you can and discard it. Place the pan back in the oven, and bake for another 1/2 hour. Again, suck up as much fat as you can.
Douse with more hot sauce to taste. Serve with either bleu cheese or ranch dressing.
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 cups self-rising flour
2 eggs
1 teaspoon Lawry's Seasoned Salt (other brands may suffice)
1 teaspoon Mrs. Dash Onion & Herb seasoning
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper (black pepper is way better when freshly ground)
1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1 deep fryer, filled with canola oil
Heat your deep fryer, filled with canola oil, to 375 degrees Fahrenheit (190C). Mix flour, seasoned salt, peppers, and Mrs. Dash in a fairly large bowl with a sealable lid. Mix eggs and lemon juice in a second bowl. Cut chicken breasts into strips about 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick (that's about 12 to 18 millimeters for those of you who use that funky metric stuff).
Coat chicken strips in egg mixture, then put in bowl with flour mixture. Cover and shake to coat chicken evenly. Fry in the deep fryer for 5-6 minutes, or about 30-45 seconds after they're all floating in the oil. Drain on paper towel. Serve with french fries or other greasy/starchy side dish.
Dig in!
"Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
How about a database that will bring up recipies based on what you've got left in the cupboard? Currently I've got some tortillas, a can of tuna, string beans, and yogurt.
My mom has made the following dish for years.. Sort of a family secret as you would never really want to admit to anyone that you eat the stuff.
Ingredients:
One can Tomato Soup (I prefer campbells)
A few cups of macaroni
Some ground beef (up to you how much)
Fry up the ground beef.
Cook the macaroni and drain it.
Stir the tomato soup into the macaroni.
Mix it together on your plate or put it on a slice of bread.
It's pretty yummy and you likely already have the ingredients!
There's quite a bit of prep time involved between roasting the peppers and cooking the meat, but it's well worth the "Oh my God! I didn't know you could cook!" that you'll get when you serve it.
Ingredients
Cooking instructions Preparation
Serving
There's so little difference between politics and jihad lately...
Yes, boys and girls, let's gawk at the proliferation of geeks for whom 'C' is not only a language but (yes!) also a measurement! :)
Since everyone else is suggesting meat/cheese/fat-filled recipes, here's a little number that I prepared just last night. Cooks in vast quantities, lasts forever, can be prepared in minutes, tastes great. Good for you to boot. (But doesn't help booting.)
This one goes out to all those west-coast tech-savvy neohippies out there...
Chris' Magic Granola
Globals ------- 1.3 kg bag of oat flakes. Not 'quick' oatmeal, not 'minute' oatmeal. NO OATMEAL. Oat flakes. They look like oatmeal, but they're subtly different. 1/2 c cocoa powder 1/3 c cinnamon 1/2->1 c honey (may also use 50% brown sugar, 50% honey) 3/4 c cooking oil raisins, dates, cranberries, walnuts, almonds, sesame seeds (esp these) and whatever else you have in your local grocery that might taste good when baked very dry. Note that this p Instructions ------------ (1) empty oat flakes into roasting pan. (2) Bake (alone, uncovered) for 45min at 400F, stirring every 15min. (3) Add chopped walnuts, almonds, sesame seeds, and other dry ingredients until the oat-to-other ratio is something like the ratio of working to buggy subroutines in 'doze. Add cocoa and cinnamon. Stir well. (4) Bake uncovered for another 15min. (5) Stir in raisins, date chunks, cranberries, oil, honey, and sugar. The bits of fruit should have something like the frequency of pimples on the face or butt of the average MSCE. (6). Bake (again, uncovered) for another 15-20min. Remove from heat, and stir a couple of times for good luck. Allow to cool. Put in big glass jugs (like the kind you can get in Chinatown). Eat for breakfast, lunch and evening snack for the rest of the term.
- undoware.ca
Cream Cheese and bacon bits (the real stuff, not the soy ones) Mush together until it lpooks right. Bacon/cream cheese ratio is to taste....
1 Broiler Chicken, cut into parts (or even a package of say, 1.5 lbs of chicken brest)
2-3 Medium mushrooms, chopped fine
1-2 carrots, peeled, chopped fine
1 Medium Onion, chopped fine
1 12 oz can chicken broth
2 - 2.5 cups rice
Water
In a 4 qt or so pot (say one about 16" around), brown the chicken in oil/butter
Remove chicken from pot, fry the onions till translucent, and then add the mushrooms and carrots - fry for a minute or so, put in the rice, and add a combination of the chicken broth and water so that you used exactly 2x the amount of rice you added. Put the chicke back in the pot on top of the rice. Raise to a boil, and reduce to a simmer. Cover the pot, cook 20 minutes, turning over the chicken 1/2 way through
Be careful near the end, if you boil off all the water, you'll burn the rice. It doesn't matter if it only takes, say 17 minutes, or as long as 25
Salt and Pepper to taste, you my want to garnish with parsley. Serves 3-4 folks. You probably want to serve it with a nice salad to get something green in your system
-- 73 de KG2V For the Children - RKBA! "You are what you do when it counts" - the Masso
From what I've seen, there are two basic types of cookbooks, at least at the extremes.
One is the kind that has been created by a single author -- or perhaps a few cooks -- who have a definitive vision of the kind of cooking that they want to tell the reader about. The author doesn't have to have come up with all of the recipes himself or herself, but s/he does collect them, test them, and adjust them to fit his or her sensibilities. My current favorite example of this is Rick Bayless's Mexican Kitchen, which is full of great Mexican dishes that start from authentic, traditional Mexican recipes but are "modernized", adapted for ingredients available in the US, and are just delicious.
You've probably seen the other kind of cookbook too. It has a title like A Taste Of The Eastern Springfield Kiwanis Club, and contains whatever recipes the club members sent in to whoever was assigned that task of collecting them into the cookbook. These cookbooks are uniformly terrible -- you may find a recipe that you like, but that won't tell you anything about whether you might like the next recipe.
The problem with an "Open Source" cookbook is that unless you are very careful, it's much more likely to end up like the second kind of cookbook than the first kind -- a selection of random recipes sent in by whoever seemed interested in your project.
If you decide to do an Open Source cookbook, then make an effort to make it more like the first kind than the second kind. Decide what you want the food to be like. Solicit recipes, collect them, steal them. Then test every recipe that you put in your book. Eliminate the ones you don't like, and adjust the best of the others till they're just the way that *you* like them.
This way, when I try out a recipe from the book, I know what to expect. If necessary, I can adjust for the difference between your taste and mine.
With the random "Taste of Slashdot" cookbook, I'll just be rolling the dice every time. Why bother? I'll just Google for recipes instead...
Good luck with your project!
Well I guess more like Beef Stew Scalars?
The first one I discovered when I was broke and we had various items of food in the house, but nothing to really feed the three of us. Well, one person could have eaten well, but the others would surely starve.
1 Large Can of Beef Stew (generic beef stew is actually better)
1 Small Can of Chili Magic (beans,meat seasoning stuffs)
1/2 Bag of stale corn chips (this is all we had)
Cook the stew and the chili magic together. I would use your best guess which would be infinitly better then mine. Once cooked, serve your stew with as many corn chips as you can grab.
Generally the more spices the better, as you can never go wrong there =D
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." -- Yogi Berra
required:
1 16 oz can of diced or whole peeled tomatoes
1 16 oz can of mild chili beans
1 (or more) onion(s) diced
1 pound of ground beef
10 tablespoons of chili powder
extras:
paprika
cayenne
tortilla chips
sour cream
salsa
1 block extra sharp cheddar cheese
this recipe is extremely easy, all you do is brown the meat in the bottom of a large sauce pan (high heat)(add salt/pepper to taste) and break it up into smaller pieces while it's cooking, once it' s finished take it out and drain most of the grease out of it w/ a strainer, leave a small amount in teh bottom, toss in your diced onions, add the chili powder/paprika/cayenne, let the onions sweat a bit toss in your tomatoes beans and re-add the meat.. add water to get teh consistency you like, let the pot come to a simmer and serve covered w/ cheese and sourcream and some chips for dipping...
this is one of my g/f's favorite recipes and is even easy enough that i can make it in a pinch
If you want to try to get really creative, go out and buy yourself a copy of Larousse Gastronomique and then learn to really cook. Once you've gotten past the point that you're worried about totally screwing everything up, you'll find how really great some pasta with a bit of extra virgin olive oil and some diced tomatos can really be. I keep screwing up things that I try to make (and still can't cook holandaise sauce), but I can also whip up some salmon, guacamole, and pasta for a quick dinner if I have people coming over and not worry.
I ate this once, but it's not entirely good for you. Tastey, but not good.
IceCream Sunday++
*IceCream (I prefer the 3 flavor stuffs)
*Reasonable Amount of Peanut Butter (Reasonable must be determined by the operator)
+Nuts are optional, but recommended
Mix the components quite well... do it quickly before the IceCream melts. (not a good idea on a hot day)
Add chopped bananas into the mix.
Top with Swiss Miss cocoa mix (preferably with the little marshmallows).
Enjoy!
This little bugger was created when I decided to take anything that was remotely appealing to me at the time and mix it.
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." -- Yogi Berra
Word and everything else understands that, and if you want formatting features that HTML4 doesn't have, you're almost certainly doing it wrong.
Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
The book should include appetizing dishes prepared on your very own over-clocked processor. Things like Pentium Pop-Tarts, Athlon Scrambled eggs, etc.
You could include a subsection for overclock GPUs too.. NVidia Quadro Quesadillas!
What fun!
Good to finally get the recipe for this concoction. I drank a few Colorado Bulldogs (Bullfrogs?) at my bachelorette party, and it was the drunkest I've ever been - I can't believe those guys let me drive home! The next morning I got up and went to work - I wasn't hung over, I was still drunk. That's the only time that's ever happened to me. I spent quite a spell on the couch in the ladies' room. These days I try to keep it down to an occasional glass of wine or two, but sometimes I appease my inner geek with some Appleton's Jamaican rum mixed with Code Red and a good squeeze of lime.
There are rarely just two options
'Course, I've never used any of the resulting code, so I can't speak for its effectiveness.
Takes a while to make, but kicks ass, and can be frozen to be served at a later time...
1 lb lentils (rinsed)
12 cups broth (chicken or vegetable)
3 cloves garlic
1 green pepper
1 carrot
2 stalks of celery
1 14 oz can of Italian style stewed tomatos
1 chipotli pepper (can substitue a finely chopped jalapen~o)
1 tbs liquid smoke
red wine to taste
low heat for several hours, until lentils are really soft.
serve
-The Story
The first time I made this, I was in college, and one of my roommates returned from a habitat for humanity (or something like that) job, and was quite tired. I served him a bowl, he was quite pleased, he found the soup DEBILITATING, but me and my other roomie heard DENIPPLEATING... And this is how the soup got it's name...
"I'll have a Guinness, no wait, make that a Coors Light" -Grad student I work with, who shall remain anonymous...
... the real deals is Cooks (Illustrated). www.cooksillustrated.com. These guys cook like 50 beef tenderloins to find the best recipe (so that is where my subscription money goes). The recipes are very imperical-based and provide crystal clear instructions.
... Just my .02
Most recipes online (and in general) fail miserably with the instructions. You need specific temperatures and signs to watch for doneness (none of this bake for 12 minutes crap). I would be more supportive of Good Eats, but Cooks has been around since 94. I think the goal of making restaurant quality food out of stock ingrediants by concentrating on technique is amazing. Up here in NY, I see people go to the farmer's market and but a $2.00 head of lettuce and go throw some Wishbone on it
You couldn't have an Open Source Cookbook without this, so here's a pretty easy recipe for beef and broccoli:
Take a package of beef of your choice (stew meat works pretty well) and cut it into small chunks. Cook it in a frying pan until it's browned, adding soy sauce and ginger to taste. After that, throw in some broccoli (fresh works best) and let it cook for a while. Add a little cornstarch to thicken up the sauce as needed. If you can find some sesame oil, that has a pretty good taste for it too. Takes only about 15-20 minutes, but it's some pretty good stuff.
Want Slashdot headlines on your site? Try SlashHead
(Be aware that raw eggs may contain salmonella. Don't do this if you have medical problems.)
--Mike
"Not an actor, but he plays one on TV."
This is Slashdot, right? Then how come there's no recipe been posted yet for Natalie Portman's Hot Grits? Are youse guys slipping?
I gotta go tend a Beowulf cluster of recipe servers, wake me when Slashdot returns to normal.
no one wants your gay cookbook so go fuck yourself you pile of dog shit.
Chicken Breasts cubed (or there about)
Pre-Made Italian Dressing (Kraft or something)
Frank's Buffalo Wing Sauce
McCormick Montreal Chicken Seasoning
1 Red (Vidalia) Onion (sliced, cubed, whatever)
2 Green Peppers (sliced, cubed, whatever)
OK
Get a big Ziploc Freezer bag
Pour some Italian Dressing in, 2-3 shakes of Montreal Chicken Seasoning, 2-6 shakes of Frank's Buffalo Wing Sauce. Add chicken. Shake it up. Refrigerate for a 1/2 hour. Now's a good time to start cubing.
For the brave, dump it in a Wok and cook the chicken, then add the peppers and oninons.
Serve with Rice.
For the timid, put it all in a Reynolds Aluminum Cooking Pouch and cook it for 10, 12, 3 minutes at 400 degrees flipping at the minutes. (I do this on a grill so the temp fluctuatesa bit.)
Serve with a salad, or on top of a Salad.
This
Needed: One chicken breast, 4 ounces of Monterrey Jack Cheese, 3 ounces of chedder cheese, 4 tbsp diced tomatoes, 2 tbsp diced red onion, 1/8 tsp diced cilantro, 1/8 tsp jalepeno.. garlic powder, salt, pepper.. and 2 flour tortilla's
Step 1 - Grate the cheeses, put into a ziploc bag.
Step 2 - put the diced tomato, onion, cilantro, jalepeno and a pinch of salt, pepper, and garlic powder into a ziploc bag
Step 3 - Close the ziploc bag and shake like hell
Step 4 - Grill the chicken breast, then cut into 1 cm cubes.
Step 5 - on a griddle, place have of the contents of the mixture on an area of one half of the tortilla, then place half the chicken..
Step 6 - lightly fold the tortilla, and flip a few times until the cheese is all melted and gooey..
Step 7 - serve with corona
Quick, easy, and tasty. Perfect geek food.
Requires no utensils to eat!
First, you must have nice ripe avocados, about 1 or 2 for each person chowing down. Choose the dark green, rough ones. They're perfectly ripe if they're soft all the way through but not mushy or showing any signs of skin degradation. Put the pulp in a nice bowl and mash it up, but not too much--there should still be plenty of obvious 1cc chunks. Once you've exposed avocado to air, it's only really good for about 1-2 hours (it won't spoil, but it turns sour). So eat it right away.
Now, the other ingredients, in declining order of importance are salt, lime or lemon juice, freshly ground black pepper, finely chopped fresh pepper (i.e., a jalapeno), minced garlic, chopped onion. (I usually skip the onion.) Add these by taste; if you can taste any of them strongly, you added too much. Roughly, try 1/2 tsp salt, 1 1/2 tsp juice, one small pepper, 1/2 tsp garlic. Adjust.
Best with light corn tortilla chips, found in the Mexican section (not those awful megacorp chips).
Also excellent spread inside a quesadilla. Details available.
--Mike
"Not an actor, but he plays one on TV."
The reason Windows lasted longest is lousy memory management.
You've got one or more bad memory modules (or a bad socket on the mbd). Replace the RAM and/or mbd and try again...
can of refried beans
large can of peeled tomatoes, Italian style
can of black-eye peas
can of mushrooms
1 pound of hamburger
At home have:
rice
cheap red wine (the cheaper the better)
balsamic vinegar
hot sauce
turmeric
celery seed
other seasonings per your taste
Start the rice. It will take the longest to cook. (make about 1 cup of rice, remembering that the recipe is 2-to-1 water-to-rice) Then pour some cheap wine, balsamic vinegar, and celery seed over your hamburger meat, letting it soak in for a few minutes (this can be done in-skillet, if you prefer) In a separate large pot combine mushrooms, refried beans, tomatoes, and black-eye peas with some more wine, balsamic vinegar, turmeric, salt, pepper, hot sauce, and whatever else tickles your fancy. Heat it on high, lowering it to medium and then to low as it starts to steam, stirring constantly.
Brown the hamburger. Don't drain the fat. Add it to the mushroom-bean-tomato combination.
With heat on low for bean-tomato-etc. combination, stir occasionally while rice continues to cook. Step outside, have cigarette.
Once rice is done add it to the mix and MIX THOROUGHLY! The result is a feast that can feed two VERY hungry geeks and still leave enough left over for a hearty lunch the next day. Oh, yeah, and it's under $7, tasty as hell, and can be changed as needed.
I STRONGLY recommend using iron pots if you have them. Don't forget to scrub them well (without soap!) when you're done.
Useless opinions, worthless observations, and more!
M&M's and Honey Roasted Peanuts. I could eat the whole damn bowl. Best combination of junk foods ever. (Coke and a Snickers comes in a close 2nd though)
In the end they will lay their freedom at our feet, and say to us, "Make us your slaves, but feed us." - Dostoevsky
here. An interesting game of moderation tennis was played with it, but I maintain that it makes a damn fine mint julep.
c-hack.com |
Rather than contribute a recipe, let me contribute some advice (I know, thanks a LOT). I did the design of a cookbook my wife self-published, and I used LaTeX. A cookbook is a structured document with a TOC, index, and cross-references. Doing it with Word will make you want to die. Errors are inevitable. Please, please don't do it.
Make your basic meatloaf recipe: Mine involves ground beef with dry oatmeal mixed into it, but it doesn't really matter.
Form the meatloaf in the shape of a certain fellow's backside, leaving a hole in the middle, and cook at 350F until done.
Fill the hole with ketchup and serve. Mmmmmmm.
K5 ran a story that might be of interest to you: Guide to Eating on a Shoestring Budget
[o]_O
Poor Mans Hamburger Helper
1 lb. Ground Beef
1 Medium Onion
2 boxes store brand Mac&Cheese
Finely chop onion
brown ground beef and onion
boil noodles according to box
drain noodles
add beef/onion mixture to pot
add powdered cheese packets
add milk and stir while on low heat
serves 3 - 5
Enjoy
I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own.
Note: The original source for this recipe is long lost (but don't worry, because recipes are mostly not copyrightable (yes, I know the exceptions), and I rewrote this one's instructions). This has about half the fat of the original, but it's still delicious.
Makes: 1 9" loaf or 6 large or 12 smaller muffins.
mix in bowl A
1/2c yellow corn meal
1 c white flour
1/3 c sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp baking powder
mix in bowl B:
2 eggs
1/2 cup shortening (I use 1/4th c melted butter and 1/4th c oil)
1 1/2 c milk
Pour bowl B into bowl A. Mix gently.
400 degree oven
8x12 shallow pan
30 minutes
or
9x5x3 pan
45 minutes
or
375 degree oven
muffin tins
~15 minutes
Become a FSF associate member before the low #s are used
Yest this really works..
1 box of velveeta shells and cheese
1 package of Johnson chedderwursts
put shells in carafe, start water.
drain shells when water done add cheese
add chedderwursts to taste.
"I don't code the things you use, I make the code your things use better."®
Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
Yahoo geocities sites are notorious for being taken down automatically under high demand and being replaced by obnoxious advertising. I think the cookbook really needs a new home!
There must be another free hosting service on the 'net with better terms of service, no?
But first off, isn't "open source cookbook" a little redundant. I mean really.. it's only the most common metaphoric term for source code to begin with. (-: Perhaps you should just call it "The Geek Cookbook" or something. Anyhow since you asked, here's an idea for an easy recipe. It's a pretty rich sauce so you can spread it thinner over lots of (cheap) pasta. Maybe good for hacker gatherings..
First, saute a minced onion, some garlic and mushrooms, adjusting to taste. I like 5-6 cloves garlic, 3 fresh mushrooms, and a red onion. Use olive oil if available. Takes about 5-10 minutes depending on heat.
Put the following in a large pot:
- 32oz. of straight tomato product (such as a can of tomato puree / minced tomato, no additives)
- 1/8-1/4 cup of cooking wine, pref. Marsala
- oregano, basil, salt, and pepper to taste (I use more oregano than basil, but taste and see)
- one package of cream cheese (typ. 8 oz. but use less if you want less rich sauce). Use the fat free stuff for a healthier meal.
- add the stuff you had sauteing
-Mix up the sauce real well and let it simmer about a half hour or until you're ready to eat. I don't think you can really overcook it very easily. Then serve it over pasta. (duh)
- If you want to go all out, get some pre-breaded chicken breast fillets (Tyson or other) and fry them in a little olive oil in the same pan you used for sauteing. Dump on some garlic powder, basil, oregano, and parmesan to taste. Add some "Italian break crumbs" sprinkle if you want more breading material. Chop up the chicken and serve it on the pasta and sauce.
Prep time: 30 mins. with a helper.
1. Pick up phone and order pizza
2. Eat pizza
3. there is no step 3!
Anything goes but it's got to be something that you can dig out of the keyboard later; if nothing else, the contents of one's keyboard is always a good source (no pun intended) of emergency munchies.
Well, this one is not exactly cheap, but it is very good. Probably not on the healthy list either, but again its really good.
I have never really described this sort of thing, so here goes...
Need:
1 or 2 steaks.
1/4 Red Onion (White or yellow work, but not well.)
1 or two Brocoli stalks.
Small amount of cooking oil.
1 slice butter. (just make it equal to one of the little marks on the cube.)
small amount of water, or ice cubes.
Your favorite seasonings. I use pepper, garlic salt, and Cajuns Choice seasonings.
Chop up red onion into small pieces. Do not dice. Bigger pieces are better. Prepare your broccoli also. Generally you only use the crowns, not the stalk. Coarse cut broccoli works best, cut larger crowns in half.
Begin to cook steak in medium sized no stick pan with a small amount of oil pre-heated. Steak works best on medium to medium-high heat.
Add seasoning, onion and more oil if the steak gets dry.
You want to keep the onion moving so that it does not burn. Placing it on top of the steak, for a while, works if you have a particularly thick steak. You are going to mix the onion in with the brocoli in a moment.
Once steak is halfway done, add brocoli, butter and additional seasonings. The idea is to capture some of the good flavor present in the steak juices while steaming the brocoli.
(This is the tricky part.)
If you get things right, you will end up with a steak cooking in one side of pan, while the juices from the brocoli, steak and onion combined with the butter make a small amount of sauce that coats the brocoli while it is cooking on the other side. Higher heat for this part is better, just don't overcook a good steak.
You want to let the brocoli steam a little and capture some of the steak and onion flavor. It is best to move the onion in with the brocoli. You don't eat it unless you really like onion.
What I do is tilt the pan, add butter, and perhaps a bit of water on the brocoli side of things. This is where the ice cubes can work well, they will provide some steam for the brocoli while keeping the overall water level in the bottom of the pan to a minimum. I also have a gas stove which makes this part easier. You can use a lid to partially cover the brocoli part of the pan if the brocoli is not cooking fast enough.
With an electric stove it is harder to keep the steak cooking well. An alternative is to put the butter in one side of the pan, tilt to get the juices to mix, then toss brocoli. Move the brocoli, onion mixture to a microwave bowl, and finish steaming there.
Another alternative, if your steak gets done before the brocoli does, is to remove it, increase the heat, and finish off the brocoli adding a little more water if you need it.
The end result is a well cooked steak with a nicely seasoned outer surface. Moving the onions around in the oil does this. Your brocoli and onions steamed together make the rest of the meal. Add more butter if you enjoy it on your greens, while not worrying about your arteries.
When everything is golden, the brocoli will get done right when the steak does.
Eating the onions is optional. They are there mostly for flavor, but if you do plan to eat them, starting with bigger pieces is the way to go. Smaller ones turn to mush and become part of the broccoli sauce.
Serve right away before anything gets a chance to cool much. Goes well with a nice salad.
(Ducks now)
Blogging because I can...
Wait, stop! I saw the words "Open Source" and read the whole question. I didn't see anything about coding, systems design, politics/anarchy, Microsoft bashing (nary even an "M$"), IP debates, GPL, RMS, Eric Raymond, Linuxs Torvalds, GNU, FSF, GNU/Linux, Linux, the Hurd or BSD. And this made it on Slashdot!
Ow! Ow! I sprained my brain!
I would suggest you get frequent blood-pressure and cholesterol tests.
Stock up on Clearasil.
Get pants with an elastic waist.
And remember, it's never too early to start saving for your quadruple-bypass and an electric scooter with a shopping basket on the front.
to make and eat:
Microwave eggs
Place 1 or 2 eggs in microwave on high for 1 min, then eat. You can wait afterwards if it's too hot. Style can be varied by scrambling eggs (actually, you should cover any unpunctured yolks, as they can get a bit explosive) and periodically rescrambling them. Is much more comestible than it might sound.
true && more || less
making your own food takes coding time.
Free Kernel Sanders.
This is an awesome "snack" to prepare you for "all-nighters" (something I haven't done since compiler class, but hey ...).
... actually just a tbsp) of garlic along with your green chile. Boil this down until the "sauce" is starting to congeal while hot. If you need to you can add a SMALL amount of corn starch (you might need to pre-dissolve this into water before adding it or you'll get lumps ... just like turkey gravy :). Let this cool a bit.
:)
Coming from the southwest, I always use very, very hot green chile--none of that "Rosarita" crap. Suit to your tastes.
Ingredients:
1) Nice amount of frozen french fries. Shoestring fries will work but larger "steak" fries work better.
2) Green chile "gravy" or sauce.
3) Lots of cheddar cheese!
Instructions:
Put the fries into the fryer to have it do its thing. As they are cooking you can either use canned Green Chile Enchilada sauce and doctor that up with more hot green chile or make it from scratch.
To make the sauce from scratch start with a small amount of water and get that boiling. Add some chicken stock or a chicken boullion cube and continue to boil. Add salt and about "40 cloves" (from Emeril
Once the fries are done, salt them immediately and put on plate. Drench all fries with the green chile sauce and cover with oodles of cheese. I like microwaving the plate for about 45 just to make sure the cheese melts all the way.
Serves 1
It's based on the interesting realisation that carrots taste a lot like coconut when mixed up in a sweet mixture (believe it or not).
Pre-installation:
0. Put large glasses into the freezer
1. Put carrots, pineapple and juice into freezer until juice/pineapple is extremely slushy & carrots frozen
Ingredients:
Procedure:
Note: The same caveats and warnings as in StrawberryMilkshakes apply here, especially allergies to honey and/or tricks and tips.
I also have Strawberry and Strawberry/Blueberry recipes there. They're similar.
fifth sigma, inc.
grandmothers feet...
The Awful Truth
Ah, XML ... the be all and end all silver bullet for the web.
I believe these are starting points.
http://www.amk.ca/recipe/
http://www.xmlhack.com/read.php?item=192
This is my version of an authentic soup from Senegal. Takes less than a half hour to make, goes great with beer and will knock your socks off.
Thinly slice and dice a medium onion and a carrot (little bits, not thick round slices). In a big pot heat about 2 Tablespoons olive oil on medium high. Saute the onions and carrots a couple minutes. Then add the following:
6 Tablespoons curry powder, as hot as you like it
1 teaspoon cumin (optional)
half teaspoon garlic powder
1 can chopped tomatoes
1 can tomato sauce
2 cans chicken broth
half cup chunky style peanut butter (natural is better, but Jif will do).
Stir really well to disperse the peanut butter.
Turn down the heat to medium.
Put 3 frozen boneless chicken breasts on a microwaveable plate and cover with another plate, leaving little or no gap. You are trying to form a very confined steam chamber. Nuke the covered chicken on medium for 3 minutes, then remove the top plate, flip the pieces over, cover again and nuke another 2 or 3 minutes on medium, depending on how cooked it looks. Use your judgement. Don't do it on high. It won't speed things up all that much and will make the chicken rubbery.
Carefully lift off the top plate (very hot steam will escape) and cut up the chicken into bite-size pieces as quickly as possible. Speed is of the essence here, as the quicker you get the chicken from the microwave to the pot, the more moist and tender it will be. Finally, pour off the juice from the now empty plate into the pot, and summon the hungry hordes.
Optional step: While the chicken is cooking use a potato masher to mash up the ingredients in the pot a little, to make it a bit thicker.
Tastes best with a blob of plain yogurt on top and some cilantro and chopped peanuts sprinkled on it, with some good bread and an extremely cold beer.
About five desert spoons of green thai curry paste (measure it to taste, but DON'T overdo it)
250 ml coconut milk
500g of either skinless chicken or lamb, cut into strips
Four *large* mushrooms, well chopped
500g (total) of the following vegetables:-
Broccoli, fairly well chopped
Miniature sweetcorn
Cabbage
Carrots
Snow peas
Bean sprouts (optional)
Vary the amounts of the different vegetables there as you like, so long as it == 500g.
Method:
Pour enough olive oil into a frypan or wok (a wok is definitely better if you've got one) for shallow frying.
Mix green curry paste and coconut milk in a bowl, making sure they're well mixed together. Ideally you'd probably want to blend it.
Put coconut milk and lamb or chicken into frypan, and cook on medium heat until the lamb/chicken is around half cooked.
Add vegetables to lamb/chicken, and continue cooking until meat is firm/cooked through. You really don't want to overcook chicken, as it goes like cotton wool if you do.
Serve either on it's own or on a bed of jasmine rice. This will probably make enough for about five people, but if you want enough for one, just use 100g of meat and vegetables, and quarter the amount of curry paste and coconut milk.
1) Ginger Chicken stir fry
Bell Pepper , Ginger , Soy Sauce , Chicken Brest , Salt , Pepper
Cut chicken and peppers into medeum thin strips. For collor , use one red , green and Yellow pepper.
Heat pan over medeum flame. Lightly coat the pan with olive oil , then toss in the chcken.
Brown the chicken on all sides by tossing gently. when the outside of all the chicken is white , add the peppers. toss around more , adding soy sauce and ginger.
Serve straight or over rice.
I have only 1 comment on the recipes in the book:
//rdj
it needs more garlic!
No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
--Sheikh Abd-Al-Kadir, 1587
I manage to keep up a diet of cheap, homemade gourmet food on an actress/college student/computer lab stooge schedule using the following cooking strategy:
Tuperware.
I cook maybe once or twice a week, and when I do, I make mass quantities of food. Soups work great for this. When I cook, I box up most of the food and leave it in the fridge. The next day, when I have all of 20 minutes between work and class, or class and rehearsal, or whatever, I can heat something up and have a good meal. The following recipe is by far my favorite for this- and is also the one I can take most credit for. Forgive any vagueness, as it's a recipe that needs to be played by ear for the most part.
Quebecquoise Soup d'Ognion
6 or 8 large sweet white onions
Beer (at least 2 12 oz bottles) Unibrew (a Montreal micro) makes a beer called Blanche du Chambly that is perfect, but any light, flavorful beer will do fine.
Good Balsamic Vinegar. The ammount you use depends on the quality of the vinegar- the better the vinegar, the less you need.
White wine vinegar
A loaf or two italian bread
Olive oil
Basil
Oregano
salt
Provolone Cheese
Soup:
Slice onions
In a very large stock pot, sautee onions in 3 Tbsp olive oil until soft and slightly brown.
Add water until the pot is about half full.
Now comes the artsy part.
Add the beer and vinegar. You'll want to start with at least 12oz of beer and 1/4 cup balsamic and 1/4 cup wine vinegars. From there, adjust until the flavor is right, but a little watery.
Simmer for an hour or more with the lid off, check occasionally. Adjust ingredients as needed. The soup should be rather sweet (from the onions) but a bit tart (vinegar).
Croutons:
In a large bowl, mix 1 cup olive oil, 2Tsp Basil and 1Tsp oregano.
Chop italian bread into crouton-sized cubes.
Coat bread with olive oil mixture
Spread on a cookie sheet.
Cook at 350 until lightly browned and hard.
Assembly:
Now you should have a gigantic pot full of onion soup, some freshly homemade croutons, and provolone cheese. For each serving of soup, ladle the soup into a bowl, and top with croutons. Layer sliced cheese on top. Stick the whole concoction in oven at around 350 until the cheese melts. (If you're starting with cold soup, warm it for a bit first before adding croutons and cheese) This can also be done in a microwave, if you're fortunate enough to own one.
2/5 of cold pizza left from last night (all there is).
Wash down with available cola.
If not enough, search appartment for even older leftover pizza.
http://www.recipesource.com/ - all you could ever want.....
Used to be "SOAR"....
...to play with the food. It's even simpler to make this cooking "book":
frozen pizza
Done.
-- ess
Red Bull contains guarana, which is one of the natural sources for caffeine.
I really can't understand the concept here. How can you link programming and food in such a way? It just doesn't work.
However, there are 'cookbooks' which don't relate to food at all. For example, 'The Design Cookbook,' a book that contains inspirational pictures and layouts to give designers inspiration. It's not full of recipes for food, but 'recipes' for designing.
Why couldn't there be a similar thing for programming? A book full of inspirational essays about coding, tiny tips on various algorithms, and charts illustrating how different data structures work, etc.. all stuff that you might already know but that might remind you of using a certain forgotten process in a new project.
mogorific carpentry experiments
Is there a mirror on the site?
:)
The one on Geocities seem to be down at the moment.
I guess I have to print this one out, as I am moving in a week!
The thing hasn't even been up for 24 hours and I have 75 email messages :P
Seriously, though, I've scanned several of the recipes I got in my mailbox so far and many, many of them look good. I'll keep everyone posted.
Maybe the Victorians did, but we Brits roast our beef theese days!
And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
... most recipes will probably contain massive doses of caffein ;)
If a train station is a place where a train stops, what's a workstation?
the kind of stuff you'd make before sitting down for a long coding session
Er...coke and pizza
If you go through iuniverse.com, you can have it set up for print-on-demand for something like $100. It goes in the Amazon and BN catalogs and can be ordered at brick n morters through Ingram. No minimum orders as all books are printed after they are ordered.
The Glass is Too Big: My Take on Things
This doesn't have a name (I should probably come up with something), but almost everyone who tries it likes it.
1 pound hamburger
1 can baked beans
1 can whole kernel corn
1 box Mexican rice
1 jar salsa
1 bag cheddar or "Mexican" cheese
2 cups of water
Brown the hamburger. Dump the hamburger and everything except the cheese into a big pot. Simmer until it thickens up. Add the cheese and serve in a bowl with tortilla chips.
The Glass is Too Big: My Take on Things
Bit of a hot one this but you can adjust to taste.
:)
:)
:)
Ingredients:-
Chicken of some description (I use a whole freshly roasted chicken - as sold by Tescos but you can use raw stuff - just takes a bit longer, and makes it a bit sloppy)
6 fresh tomatoes
1 large onion
Turmeric
Encona West Indian pepper sauce
Fresh Coriander
Freshly ground black pepper.
Rice etc.
Put rice onto boil.
If using roasted chicken dismember with hands - squeeze and bones pop out! None of that carving marlarkey - takes too long.
Heat sunflower oil in wok or large frying pan.
Chop onion. Turn the heat up to max. If your cooker is a bit weedy, get a good hiking stove
Fry Onion and chicken pieces in pan (put the skin in too). Cover chicken and onion in turmeric and stir fry. Optionally add a small amount of Jerk seasoning at this stage.
After a couple of minutes add pepper sauce to taste (I use about 1.5 inches of the bottle). Stir
Add black pepper to taste.
Chop tomatoes whilst occasionally stirring chcikcen and onions.
Throw in tomatoes and stir.
Lastly, chop coriander and add to the pan. Continue to stir and fry until onions/tomatoes just slightly burnt on the edges.
Don't forget the rice, and don't serve the burnt bits on the bottom of the pan...
Combine with tea or coffee for a good caffeine/chilli eys on stalks type ffect essential for those long coding/fragging sessions
Erm and don't email me about any injuries caused whilst cooking, eating or er.. disposing of this dish - use at your own risk..
Enjoy - Scoot
Rather than a cookbook, what we need is recipeforge.org... I can't wait for the bitter battle over the peas and carrots patch to the chicken cassrole
A delicious pork tenderloin recipie for the grill.
1/4 cup brown sugar (packed)
3 tsp. dried thyme (or 1 1/2 fresh)
2 tsp. each of: ground allspice, ginger powder, mustard powder
1 tsp. each of: salt & pepper
2 pork tenderloin strips (one package)
Combine all ingredients (except the tenderloin, put it aside for now) and mix well. Prepare grill. Rub mixture on tenderloins to coat wel. Let stand for 10 minutes (sugar will dissolve a bit). Just prior to placing on the grill, add a bit more of the rub.
Grill over medium hot coals turning frequently. The crust will darken and blacken, so a meat thermometer should be used to make sure the tenderloins are cooked thouroughly (160 - 180F/70-83C).
"Being Irish, he possessed an abiding sense of tragedy which sustained him through brief episodes of joy." -W. B.
need i say more?
-D
like the Wiki Cook-book like the Wikipedia?
although i know we're talking opensource recipies, some good things can result from use of propritary modules. making the pizza this way essentially requires only two things: money and the dominos module.
if your dominos module is not installed or not activiated, you need to do so before continuing. it is a proprietary module which you can find with any phone book. installation and activation requires a phone. you will then need to supply a few environment variables during install of the dominos module such as your name, address, and phone number. then, you will be promped for pizza parameters such as size and toppings. the activation function returns a monitary float argument, which you must store for later use.
now, wait for the dominos module to execute its preparation and delivery functions. this may take as long as 30 minutes, depending on the speed of the dominos module and its current workload.
when complete, the dominos module will issue a doorbell interrupt. the resulting function will take a single monitary arugument and return the pizza object if the argument is larger than the float returned during activation.
at this point, the operation should be complete and you will have your pizza. although not for the opensource purist, this method generally delivers relatively high quality with reasonable execution time.
char *mySig;
My wife taught me this one. It rocks.
Input:
2 cans refried beans
1 cup sour cream (more if desired)
1 cup mayo (more if desired)
generic "taco seasoning"
3 large or 4 small tomatoes
1 small can diced green chilies
2 cups grated cheddar cheese
1 bunch of scallions
Process:
In a large rectangular pan (16x9?), spread refried beans evenly. In a bowl, mix sour cream, mayo, and taco seasoning to taste (should be pretty spicy). Spread mixture over beans. Dice tomatoes and spread over mixture. Spread green chilies on top of tomatoes. Spread cheese on top of chilies. Dice scallions and spread on top of cheese.
Serve at room temperature with tortilla chips.
1 box Kraft Deluxe Mac & "Cheese"
1 can light tunafish
1 packet onion soup (dried, you know)
1/2 bag frozen peas
Cook mac & cheese as normal. When adding cheese at final step, also add remaining ingredients. Mix thoroughly, serve and eat.
So the peas are still frozen, right? Crunchy!
I heard about this site on the radio a while ago. Just enter all the ingredients you have available, and it will return recipes, ranked by the percentage of ingredients you have.
I do not know if anybody mentioned this, and I am not going to bother to check, but...
You do not need to put your cookbook under any licence. Recipes are not covered by copyright... period.
All data is speech. All speech is Free.
this is ridiculously easy and you'd be surprised how good it is. Don't be scared by the list - total cooking time's about 20 minutes.
Need:
1 box chicken-flavored pilaf (rice-a-roni works)
2 tbs butter
1 lime
1/4 cup frsh grated parmesian
1/2 pound chicken breast
2 tbs balsamic vinegar
favorite veggie (snow peas, onions and/or peppers work well)
2 cloves garlic
olive oil
salt, pepper, basil
you do this in two pans simultaneously.
Pan 1:
heat olive oil with garlic. Cook veggie 2-3 minutes. Add chicken. add vinegar, salt, pepper and basil. Cook till done.
Pan 2:
melt butter in pan. Follow insturctions on back of pilaf box. After you add water, squeeze lime into pan. Add yellow chicken-flavored stuff. cook till done.
add pan one to pan two. Mix. top with cheese. feeds three, stuffs two, immobilizes one.
--triv
I personally like recipes that allow you to make your own trade offs between goodness and ease of preparation, based on what you have available (ingredients, utensils, time, patience...): This probably sounds too easy to be good, but trust me - it genuinely makes a tasty sauce. Better than Ragu Spaghetti sauce: 1 can stewed tomatoes (12-16 oz) 1 can tomato paste (6-8 oz) Open cans and dump into a pot, stir and put on the stove at medium heat setting (~10 minutes). Or dump them in a bowl and stick them in the microwave (3-5 minutes). Put it on some pasta. It's fine just like that, but there are a number of variations you can make. I try have plenty of cans of tomatoes, paste and mushrooms on hand at all times. Variations: Stewed tomatoes come with spices already added. Try them all (even the mexican spiced ones). Throw it all into a blender and pulverize the tomatoes before heating. Or don't heat it at all. Throw in some mushrooms. Add a can of red or black beans (even coders need protein once in a while). Crumble up that leftover hamburger patty and throw it in. (another possible source of protein, depending on where you get your hamburger) In case you need help making pasta (I know people who do :/):
Put about 4-5 cups of water in a big pot. Put a little oil in there (about a tablespoon, or a shot if that's easier to visualize). Put on the stove and set the burner to high to get it boiling. Once it starts to boil, put in the pasta and turn down the heat so it doesn't boil over (I set my dial to about 3/4). It'll likely take around 20 minutes, but set the timer for 10 minutes so you remember to stir it at least once. Then set it for 10 more and it'll be done. Drain off the water.
Combine with that sauce and you have a decent spaghetti dinner. Presented properly, you might even impress a guest with it...
TuneShark
One 14-oz. jar Kroger Natural Creamy peanut butter
1-3/4 cups dry milk powder
1/2 cup honey
Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Don't use a spoon---just mush it up with your hands until it's like play dough. Roll it up into balls. Eat.
We're going to make information free Mr. Anderson, whether you like it, or not.
Actually, they thaw nicely in the blinkin' hot noodles. :-)
Looking for a Rails developer in Chapel Hill?
check out turducken here.
My life in the land of the rising sun.
1 strip steak
1 can lowry's seasoning salt
Salt the cattle flesh.
Throw cattle flesh on hot grill for a few minutes for each each side (rare).
Find a vegan for your audience.
Eat without using utensils, be sure to let blood/juice drip from your mouth
I find this performance piece provides me with the hostile atmosphere most conducive to long coding sessions.
Wouldn't this idea work better as "FoodForge" ? Where anyone can submit a new recipe, that is (almost) instantly available online, and others can comment/add variants to it ?
-Billco, Fnarg.com
"Scientists believe it is the caffeine in coffee that protects against alzheimers, an incurable disorder that causes disorientation and memory loss."
There is also a article at msnbc.com, saying that alcohol may reduce Alzheimers as well.
"Drinking moderate amounts of alcohol, which has already been shown to help prevent heart disease and strokes, may also cut the risk of Alzheimer's disease by nearly half, a Dutch study found."
I knew I'm on the right track. Can somebody pass me another Vodka Red Bull?
*Caffeine is known for its stimulating effect, clearly noted above all in the circulatory system and in the brain.
>> Had I been going to bed earlier every night? Have I been sleeping later? Has Tyler been in charge longer and l
If you prepare just the dough recipe, you can use it to make focaccia, which is useful for: 1) awesome sandwiches, and 2) impressing SO's/prents when served, with some olive oil for dipping, as an appetizer or side.
Just let the dough rise and then pull it into a whatever shape you like -- round like a pizza, square for cutting into snack-size sticks, or small sandwich-size blobs -- as long as it's between roughly a half inch and an inch thick. (Trial and error will teach you the best choice. In case of error, it'll probably still be OK for you to eat by yourself.)
Play a Lynnrd Syknnrd MP3 while you wait for the dough to rise again [rise agin...like the South...get it?]. Next, brush the dough with olive oil (a little of which can be poured on straight from the bottle and smooshed around with your hand if no one's watching) and sprinkle with any/all of the following: oregano, garlic, table salt or coarse kosher salt, black pepper, thyme, whatever. Bake the focaccia for eight to ten minutes or until it's golden and crusty, and then eat it dipped into not-the-cheapest olive oil at your local grocer's, or let it cool before slicing for sandwiches.
Clever readers will order a 4 ounce bag of pizza spices from Penzey's -- www.penzeys.com -- and use it on this focaccia, or to make their own pizzas, or just to improve the pre-made ones bought from the store or a delivery guy.
Places like Bertucci's always advertise the fact that they cook their pizza in a brick oven. Well, you can too.
You can either get a pizza stone ($30-$40) from a food store, or you can go down to your local tile mart and get some unglazed quarry tile. I wound up with 4 8" square pieces, and they were so surprised that I wanted so few that they just gave them to me.
Basically, you put the tile on the bottom of your oven and crank the heat up as high as it will go for 30 minutes. You also need a metal pizza peel (giant spatula) to get it in and out of the oven, which can be bought online (I was lucky enough to find a restaurant supply place a few miles away) for cheap (less than $10, probably).
This reduces cooking time to about 5 minutes, and it really does taste better. I got this from the cooking show Good Eats (Alton Brown's book was reviewed here recently). You can find transcripts and recipes from every show here:
http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com
He also has an interview and all sorts of facts.
Oh, and as far as regular pizza toppings (the recipe in the parent post sounds very good, and I'll have to try it), I like roasted garlic cloves (20 minutes at 300 degrees F), sun dried tomatoes, and jalapeno peppers. Pineapples go well with the hot peppers (it works for stir fry!), but are a bit heavy unless you're making deep dish pizza.
WMBC freeform/independent online radio.
(Okay, the way a recipe is written can be copyrighted, e.g. "mix until the color of sour hazelnuts" or using a specific page layout. But the recipes themselves are all free.)
Don't blame me; I voted for CowboyNeal.
By the way, the drink is called Chelsea in England since Clinton's doughter can't stop it...
>> Had I been going to bed earlier every night? Have I been sleeping later? Has Tyler been in charge longer and l
I've updated the website a little bit, and here's the update copied from the website:
--Reprint follows--
I have received a ton of submissions, and have already replied to several submissions. My email box has about 100 or so emails sitting in it right now, and I'm slowly sifting through the recipes and adding things. There's about 26 pages printed so far, and I've got a lot of good ideas just waiting to be looked at. Keep 'em coming!
Also, for some help doing US to Metric conversions, I've found this site to be quite helpful. You may wish to use this to convert US units to Metric units and back again
Real programmers don't eat quiche!
Konqueror will do fine. In the menus: Location, Print..., choose `Print to File (PDF/Acrobat)', choose a filename and paper specs, awaaaay we go. Or use any other browser likewise. Outside KDE, you can print to PostScript (e.g. in Mozilla or Netscape) and then ps2pdf that (or just ship it); even in Windows you can install a PostScript printer definition and save-to-file the output (then ps2pdf it on a Linux box if required).
Most printers are deleriously happy with PostScript and PDFs, especially given that (1) much of their machinery thrives on PostScript anyway and (2) some people hand them things like XLSes, PUBs and WKSs to deal with.
Um, I'm using KDE 3.0.1 here, it may be different in an earlier (or later) version.
Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
The whole first few sections of the cookbook is dedicated to basic instructions and what they mean. For the obvious ones, I don't go into detail (like bake) but for the more esoteric ones (like deglazing) I do explain what gets done. Also, at the end there'll be a spice catalog with some information about some major spices that I know of.