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How Do I Make My Netbook More Manly?
basementman writes "I recently purchased a 10 inch white MSI wind. As you can see it's a small computer and it's good for what I use it for. I get a lot of comments from women saying it is 'cute' or 'adorable.' Not the good kind of cute that will get me the attention I want though, the kind of cute that says they think I have a different presence than I actually want to portray. So how can I make my netbook more manly, or at least have some witty line to respond to the their comments?" Hopefully basementman didn't get a netbook with the hopes of it getting him some action, but what cool mods (or witty one-liners) have others used to salvage their dignity from hardware that is "a good size"?
Heavy metal stickers. Lots of them!
Maybe, just maybe, someone calling a small laptop "cute" is not a reflection on your sexual identity or masculinity. And maybe you should take it as a compliment, because that's likely how it's intended!
This is like asking how to make a small, fluffy puppy look intimidating. Anything you do to it will only serve to make it more comical, particularly to the opposite sex. Stop being so insecure and enjoy your freaking laptop! If someone says its cute, just say, "Yeah, it is, thanks!"
Oh, and if you really need a line, next time someone says its cute, respond with, "Yeah, it's a 10-incher, just like my cock." Problem solved!
Add a dongle?
Your dignity has been saved.
Make sure they're flame colored, not the emo black ones nor the metrosexual yellow.
- These characters were randomly selected.
http://www.akihabaranews.com/en/news_pics/15911/MSI_Wind_1.jpg
(Might also be black)
Put one of these classy items on your machine to make it more macho
http://www.bullsballs.com/
Just throw on a Type-R sticker...seems to work for Honda.
"Well, I didn't buy it to compensate for anything else."
"it's not the only 10 inches I have."
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
A netbook will never be manly. Unless it has a fold out blade, scissors, tweezers, awl, saw, a length of fishing string and a couple of waterproof matches in a tiny hidden compartment.
You should put a slogan on it which says something like "pure testosterone".
Liking Unicorns doesn't make me gay, does it?
Deal with your own inner insecurities, they're the root of your problem
Next time you should buy a small-sized Thinkpad. I bought a used x31 (12") for half the price of a netbook. I'm still finding new stuff on it (like a reading light and a microphone), the performance is comparable to a netbook, and you really can not find a manlier laptop on the planet.
It is very bad if my car breaks when I try to brake.
Scooty Puff, Sr: The Doom-Bringer
http://pnwriders.com/image.php?u=1155&dateline=1231816052
"I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
Run Linux on it, not windows.
Not the good kind of cute that will get me the attention I want though, the kind of cute that says they think I have a different presence than I actually want to portray.
Really? Do the women who compliment your netbook immediately ask if you're gay or something? Are you sure it's not all in your head?
Either way, the conversation is started. If they suspect you're gay at least that's disarming, and they'll figure it out eventually.
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
Maybe they are saying it because they look at YOU and think you are gay. Then, in hopes of making a new shopping companion, their eyes wander frantically for something to strike up a conversation about and they see your manly netbook, and they call it cute out of courtesy. Maybe...
Women are coming up to you, in public, and complimenting your laptop and you're pissed because the language they're using is cute and adorable? Were you raised in a barn?
And the 'attention you want' is ANY. Just because you lack the social skills to turn a 'wow that laptop is cute' into a 'hey would you like to have dinner' doesn't mean some Metallica Stickers are going to fix it.
I was with my Dad and his dog and my Girlfriend at a rugby tournament this weekend. Every single woman that walked pass came up and started petting the dog. I told my girlfriend next year she wasn't invited and I was just going to bring the dog.
And some neon light trim for the edges.
Hydrolics, press a button and the laptop starts trying to hump the your desk.
Replace the fan with a smaller diameter one with higher RPM, get the jet engine noise when it kicks in.
Bling, use a solid gold chain to keep it closed.
Don't shave, wear a mussed up t-shirt. And add scorch marks to the plastic exterior.
There isn't anything more manly than a laptop with Gentoo on it (except maybe a Honda Accord with $30,000 dollars worth of modifications)
If you want to seem more manly, respond with, "Its the only computer I could find which was shorter than my dick."
Or you could just get over yourself and stop worrying about looking "manly".
-deane
Why on earth would you want to make your netbook more manly? You've already lured them in - so pounce! Buy them a skinny mocha chino latte, gaze into their eyes and suggest 10 inches is enough for most people.
"big enough to use both hands"
seriously. Any smaller than that and it's too small to touch type on. Of course "big enough to use both hands" won't score any points with the ladies, while it may be big enough it is clear you will be too busy by yourself to put it to any good use.
* Cover it with metal spikes and skulls.
* Tie it to the front grill of a Hummer.
* Convert it into an ammo clip for an Uzi.
* Build a beer helmet around it and wear it on your head
* Program it to make fart noises every time your finger is pulled. With a name like "wind", you could even pretend it came that way from the factory.
* Put an Oakland Raiders logo on it.
* Tie it to the back of a pit bull with a chain collar.
* Put it down your pants for some "natural male enhancement".
* Tie it to your stomach (under your shirt), and tell woman to punch it so they can feel how hard your "abs" are.
* Keep it open and playing a heavy metal video nonstop at full volume. Make sure there are plenty of half naked women being objectified in it.
* Tell the girls you have a small notebook because you have no reason to compensate for anything else.
Really, the possibilities are endless.
...would have been _not_ to buy in white...
Your first mistake was buying a white computer. :D
But I would say, if you want to change how people see this computer, paint it. Come up with some color scheme you like, and change the color of the machine. There's no aspect of your own computer that you cannot change.
Bow-ties are cool.
Command line, black background, green font, vi
It doesn't get less cute.
In a lot of cases, cute is interchangeable with stupid or impractical looking. A netbook that size is going to look impractical (and hence cute or whimsical in size) for a long time to come, until they become commonplace everywhere
So either accept that your MSI is 'cute', or buy a bigger more serious looking netbook (i.e. a larger one that looks to be more practical / less whimsical). I think tiny netbooks are the equivalent of a tiny piano (+pianist) for the uninitiated: They look stupid.
Strap it to the top of one of these: http://www.alienware.com/products/area-51-m9750-notebook.aspx?SysCode=PC-LT-AREA51M9750&SubCode=SKU-DEFAULT
You want a "chick magnet", you get a Porsche or a trendy exotic pet, not a laptop. Sheesh.
It's a good thing. Could be worse. At least they're talking to you.
They could be made aware of the fact that you go by the alias BASEMENTMAN.
...that a person with a small laptop has no need for compensation.
http://michaelsmith.id.au
There is no way to make it manly. Sorry buddy. Just sit home alone and admiring your pretty new unit. You can use that time to practice saying the phrase "It may be tiny but... it also leave you unsatisfied and jealous of bigger flashier versions." all while stifling the on coming tears... poor lil feller... never saw it coming.
Test me and I will chronicle your pain - The Archivist (Diablo 3)
Paint it black.
At least it is not pink.
I am quite suprised to learn that someone who reads, let alone utilizes slashdot would be concerned about their "image". To be quite honest I would only panic if it had substandard software installed.
Replace the bezel with wood!
Walnut is preferred.
I tell you wood is the way to go.
Flat black makes everything look tough. Add duct tape if you need extra man points.
Obviously if you're man enough you don't *need* a laptop that adds to it.
There is no -1 Disagree mod. Slashdot.org/faq defines mod options. USE IT.
Realize that the size of your penis has nothing to do with the size of your Netbook. Really...this is what people worry about?
Unstable Apps: Our Android Apps Don't Suck
One that can last all night long without going limp. And it is better if it makes you laptop look like it grew some big balls. Can't go manlier than that ...
Answer: YOU CAN'T!
Why? Because you have the equivalent of "Baby's first laptop". I'll never understand why grown up geeks think having something thats basically made for a child makes them look cool...
My netbook is much bigger than yours,
My netbook can walk right through the door
With a feeling so pure..
It's got you screaming for more.
With the naked lady silhouette.
We willna be fooled again!
the speed or size but its you use it.
or
Yea its cute...just like you honey (brace yourself for a potential slap xD)
PS: No you cannot make your adorable, cute, and tiny little laptop manly.
This should make for a good masculine symbol..
Especially when you start the laptop ...
Huxley: "An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex." Being "manly" in the sense I get from the summary is something only troglodytes admire. I would find more pressing things to stress over. And no, I don't have a sense of humor, so bugger off.
Place an oversized joystick next to it - a puny netbook makes it look even bigger.
Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
... you can put the same on your White Wind. Go to a copyshop that also has those cut-plotters and get a set of decal lettering cut out in black saying "I'm his new Netbook and help him pick up chicks." That should fix both the 'manly' and 'whitty reply' part in one stroke. And it's quite funny aswell.
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca
Take it to your local Rhino Liner shop, and have them cover it with the same stuff they use for pickup truck bed liners.
While the stuff is still curing, stick a chrome "sitting naked lady" from a mudflap on it.
www.eFax.com are spammers
Thank you.
As to how to have your netbook make you look more like a man.
Not going to happen. The fact that you feel the need to make your netbook more manly means that the problem isn't the netbook.
You have some issues to work out and they have nothing to do with your netbook.
Probably the most superficial solution would be to start working out but even that doesn't address the real issue.
I wish that I could honestly say that I care that your netbook looks too wimpy but frankly nobody should care at all including you.
If you are still a teenager all I can say is you will probably out grow this.
See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
From the Badass Manly Anime Reviewer:
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
I have a vivid mental image of you, a big bulky man with black leather jacket, seated at a fast food outlet table, alone, hunching over the tiny netbook, looking down on the screen intensely, and typing quickly. Is that correct?
PhotoJim is correct: stickers will quickly convey another image of you. Or I'd suggest these words instead: "No, I will NOT fix your computer", or "Stare at me for 5 seconds, and you're DEAD".
Another method is to change your posture slightly. Push the netbook away a bit, tilt your chin up slightly, and made a very slight nasty expression on your face. It's uncomfortable, but people are sensitive to body and face, and seeing you like that may just drive a little shiver down their spines.
Anyway, how I envy you. I use my white 9" Eee (no pink in stock) outdoors almost everyday, and not a single woman (or man) has ever approached me.
Spend some time on Jinx.com or something and find some scary looking hack/phreak stickers ... you'll look hardcore
and remember
the size to goodness ration is inversely proportional when you are talking about geek gadgets.
manliness is not defined by objects, but by attitude and character.
skulls, heavy metal stickers, sports cars, and vulgar one-liners are all expressions of an attitude.
you have to decide what being a 'man' means to you.
from there, confidence is really your best accessory.
Laser etch a wang on the cover the entire length of the notebook. If anyone asks what the hell that is, deadpan "It's a wang computer." That should put an end to those pesky compliments...
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Super glue a brick to it. Bricks are so, so manly. As is super glue.
I just bought an Asus 1000. (Love it! Throw away the Xandros nonsense, though, and install Ubuntu Netbook Reboot.) Newegg didn't offer anything but basic black and white, but when it showed up, I saw that the box clearly had some other colors, and even some graphics on some of them. That would have been nice. Maybe I could get a replacement cover, but I don't want to risk breaking something. You might not be that risk-averse.
The ladies in my office have called it "cute," and my buddies have called the portable DVD player bag I got to carry it a "man purse." So I was thinking much the same thing about trying to "cool" it up. I was tending to think about stickers, but there's no much space on there, and I worry about removing them later.
I was checking out the standard stuff from J!NX and ThinkGeek, but I've also seen a couple of nice Fallout-related things in other places. I'm still deciding. Maybe some buttons for the bag's strap would be cool too.
Acts 17:28, "For in Him we live, and move, and have our being."
Simple, paint or skin it in camo or flat black. Put some fake bullet hole stickers on it too.
Just mount a chainsaw on that sucker.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
I see people hang a pair of plastic testicles from the back of their trucks.
That might man your netbook up a bit.
How about a nice blue glow coming from underneath your keys?
Speed Holes!
I have the HP2133, which is brushed aluminum. I don't get too many of those "awww..." comments. It's mostly, "Hmmm...that's small. What can it do?" When I reply, "Whatever I need it to," the response is usally, "Wow!" So I recommend dipping it in aluminum and then getting the steel wool after it. Good luck! (no liability assumed from damage to your netbook, notebook, or other property resulting from following the above facetious advice) [-:
Here are some stickers to apply:
Flipper
Bambi
Willy (Free Willy)
An Aboriginal
Creech
Gollum
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Tell the women these were your animal forms in past life times. Tell her you're a sexual expert in all fathoms, climes, caves, and skies. Now that you are human, you're entitled to make all sorts of squirmy noises in bed but that she should not be unduly alarmed. If she's not impressed, add more animal signs...
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
even if they don't want to hear it. That's manly isn't it?
1. Buy $3000 alienware laptop.
2. ???
3. Women won't come up to you anymore.
Install Linux. Enough said.
'My other laptop is a 17" Macbook'
How about a USB based set of balls that hang like those stupid ones on trucks? Will that make it manly?
Heck, could make the balls useful by either contracting when it is cold, hanging further when hot, or, as the system is up longer, it pushes artificial hair out to indicate age of time up? Of course, for some ppl, they will want a scratch and sniff on it.
Take it step further; Sell these to dykes. Then they can say that they have a pair to show.
I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
While stipulating that all generalizations are wrong, this one ain't.
I used to drive a supercharged (positive displacement, even) 302 Mustang convertible, with aftermarket exhaust and remote start. I could make it growl from across the parking lot.
Women didn't find that attractive at all. High school boys, on the other hand, thought it was great!
Were I the type of person who sought the companionship of high school boys, I would have been in very good shape.
Cougars, take note.
1) hook a wallet chain to it and keep it in your backpocket.
2) Glue 50 dollar bills all over the outside of it.
3) Tell them its actually a 14 inch laptop (chicks get lied to all the time)
Seriously, women are coming up to you in public, commenting on your hardware & you're complaining?
Dude, I (and i'm sure many a geek/hacker type) have enough trouble complaining why my place looks like a server farm without women running out of the house screaming (the anime doesn't help either).
Consider yourself lucky & focus on using your laptop to create something cool. Otherwise there are many many "hacker" 1995 stickers to make you look "cool".
Personally I'd make it pink and give it a Hello Kitty sticker. Keeps people on their toes ;)
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
Well, your first problem is that you are asking on slashdot ;-P
Table-ized A.I.
...I have a hard and fast rule that says I can't have a screen that measures bigger than either my penis or the thickness of the 'insecure' section of my diary.
You should start by never mentioning that your username is "basementman"
Years ago, I was waiting in the rain at the staff parking lot for the college newspapers to arrive so I could earn my work-study $4.25/hour delivering them around campus. The college president came out, made some snide remark about our dedication, then got in his red corvette. Our editor, a tall Texan woman, muttered "nice car", and as he drove off, yelled "Sorry about your penis!"
Shiny cars were last generation's penis-compensation trip. This generation, they're laptops. Let's face it: we carry them around with us everywhere, we always insist on using our own, we're proud of its power or versatility, and we carry it with us into the bathroom. It's a penis.
Most women with braincells are going to recognize that, and infer every other corollary. Guys with big laptops with more power than they ever use are likely compensating for something else. If a guy can come up with something "cute", maybe he knows he can deliver.
Of course, big, powerful and macho will impress the boys down at the server farm. Come to think of it, the big marketing whole right now is the lack of laptop commercials along the lines of pickup trucks: big burly men, toiling on the server farm. Country music blasts as foreman-looking nerd with glistening muscles and big hands drops a big-ass render project onto his Dell XPS, drops the sucks -- still running -- into his shoulder bag, and walks out the door into the sweet light of sunset.
Easy- Steampunkafy it.
* Put a 10-inch dongle on it
Table-ized A.I.
Having a since of humor about it shows that you're confident enough in your masculinity to take the occasional comment about the cuteness of one of your possessions. This would be my response:
"It's convenient and (stated in a slightly ironic tone) the cuteness offsets what I understand is my sometimes intimidating masculinity."
If you didn't come to party don't bother knocking on my door. Prince '1999'
Hmmmm. That might explain why the father at my old Catholic High School (Marian Central) bought a new Trans Am 455HO. Of course, back then, I just thought that he wanted to have a good time.
I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
Say you used it to save your ship from pirates.
And glue it to the lid. There you go.
You know those plastic nuts you can hang on the back of your truck?
Get a pair for your netbook.
You know what else is cute? The way your anus will look wrapped around my cock.
Yeah, just say that. The 'cute' bullshit is just chick-code for 'I want to be plowed in the bunghole by you, you strong man you.'
First off I bought a Blue Aspire One ;)
:) (though I suppose any colour is doomed to the 'cute' comment on size alone)
Then came some mods... RAM, larger HD, touch screen kit, internal stylus mount, internal bluetooth, adapted external MacBook Air Superdrive. None of which are going to help with the "oh that's manly" factor though.
Best I can suggest is don't buy White or Pink next time
Play me online? Well you know that I'll beat you. If I ever meet you I'll "/sbin/shutdown -h now" you. -Weird Al, kinda.
A giant strap on dong glued right in the middle of the keyboard should do the trick.
This way when it's in your lap it will look like your penis is busting through your pants and all the way through your computer.
Heil Sig! -Rob
Just add a big goatse picture to the cover. I can guarantee that women won't call it adorable anymore after that.
Won't a simple "Hey, so are you" line suffice?
Excellent! I was thinking the same, but couldn't have written it nearly so well.
Infuriate left and right
I lug around a full size engineering laptop with a 19" LCD, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies, etc.
If I were in your position, I'd go the other direction and get something on the big and manly side of the PDA segment, such as a Nokia N810 or something else that runs Linux.
Or you could go all geek and augment your netbook with an external keyboard and external display. For example, you could Borg it out and turn it into a wearable with a Twiddler keyboard and some kind of wearable screen. Unfortunately, that probably means slipping your netbook into a fanny pack, unless you can find some kind of shoulder holster for it.
/ I use an eeePC 901... but it ostensibly belongs to my wife. :P
This may not be a popular comment but it's just a laptop. It doesn't make you any more or less of a man; that part is entirely up to you. If someone mentioning that your laptop is "cute" makes you question your masculinity there are other issues at hand.
... as I sit here typing this on my new Asus 1000HE:
"Yeah, I guess it is kind of cute. It's only ten inches, but it gets the job done."
"An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Col. Jeff Cooper
Nothing can make your laptop look cool and tough and tough and cool like some Duct Tape. Yea my laptop is small but I am so tough that I need to put duct tape on it to keep it together. A cat may be cute, But an ally cat with its fur riped off and its ear chewed up isn't
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
If your that insecure about manhood then you should seek therapy. Objects and devices you have don't your "manhood" so if you need a something to "enhance" your manhood you should take all of those drugs from those spam messages.
Netbook is nice device and like new adopter of any device, you will get a many of strange looks so get used to it until it becomes "mainstream".
People that drive big vehicles or show off fancy things are making up for the lack of their personal security.
If you think 10 inches is cute, wait till you meet Mr. Happy Pants hon-eeeey, OOOOOHHH!!!
**Takes a drag from cigerette**
Authority questions you. Return the favor.
I have three early model Eee PC machines, one in Barbie pink and two in lime green. I got these essentially free because the company that bought them couldn't get anybody to use them. The black models were snatched up immediately, but the pink and green ones stayed in inventory until they were obsolete. None of the corporate executives would be seen with the things.
I don't want to be seen with them either. I'm using them in an embedded application where nobody sees them.
You could always stuff a pair of socks in its underwear. That's what I do to feel manlier. ;)
I walk around with a raging boner most of the day.
Nobody notices my netbook.
Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
Should be easy -- tell them that the smaller form factor allows you more flexibility and fits more comfortably in the basket of your Segway. Also, the specs would be a nightmare with a bloaty OS like Vista (or Windows 7 RC[whatever]), but it's more than sufficient for your Linux install.
That should do it.
(And if you meet a lady where it DOES do it, marry her.)
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/205/504902031_6a2577b848.jpg?v=0
Results not so good... But you won't get those cute comments.
I piss off bigots.
Paint it pink and put MylittlePony stickers on it. When people say its little and cute- say "Yeah, isnt it?". They will slowly tiptoe backward, and probably never speak to you again.
Mission accomplished.
Are you so uncomfortable with your masculinity that you can't accept a compliment? Why don't you just strap a giant dildo on it, maybe that will make it manly enough for you. Jesus all men are horrible.
Try growing a pair.. that's how.
I know a nice sticker company called Lapjacks -
http://www.lapjacks.com/
They manufacture and send pre-fabricated designs or your designs scaled to your specs and gadgets :)
You can modify their designs or upload your own, that is then fabricated and send to you in the mail :)
What kind of dog barks "BOFH! BOFH!"? A rootweiler of course...
She says: "OMG, That notebook is sooo cute! I have never seen one that small"
You say: "Hahaha, yeah. I like my notebooks small. I already have enough I need to carry around. So, you come here often?"
Just don't overthink it, and maybe come up with something a lot more original that "So, you come here often".
Have the cover etched at
www.etchstar.com
with something like this:
http://www.etchstar.com/art/863/Zombie-Medusa
--- NOT cute at ALL.
You grow a pair of balls and learn to self-esteem. If you're so damn afraid your laptop is going to chase women off, chances are you're much better off scaring them away than trying to attract them.
Work on your self-esteem issues first. Then you won't find it necessary to "man up" your laptop because that's just stupid.
obviously this is a tongue-in-cheek question, but...
if you are expecting to get attention from girls based on your laptop, maybe you should try a new approach to getting attention from girls.
Try a tin foil wrapped zucchini... Although in this day and age its a bitch to explain at the airport metal detector.
I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.
Take the Homer Simpson approach - add speed holes with a pickaxe
You are perhaps familiar with the gray crackle finish on real toolboxes?
Or the color of an old army compass that has aged from coppery to antique green?
Race car flames?
Hunting/fishing scenes?
Or just Camo it.
wake up and hold your nose
1) Get the black one (probably too late for that)
2) Cunning reply like; "yes, it is. Would you like to check your email? The two of you have so much in common I'm sure you'd get on like a house on fire"
Not much... although I put Star Wars stickers on mine to try to go for something other than the obvious first thought.
can't sleep slashdot will eat me
facial tattoos
First, put a "Snap-on Tools" sticker on it. Then, smear it with used motor oil, or bearing grease.
Hang a pair of these off of your netbook. I guarantee no woman will ever call your netbook cute again!
Just glue one of these Bad Boys to the lid!
You will not hear 'cute' or 'adorable' ever again! Can she say: "OMGZ!!!111!! I want your netbook, NOW! "???(or more likely, "I'm calling the cops, you pervert!")
You won't have to say anything, just turn it on. ;-)
*Disclaimer*
YMMV with local law enforcement/border-guard/airport security personnel however.
***Link NSFW!!!***
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
The women (who you ostensibly like talking to you), have already made the first move. This is good - they walked past a whole lot of guys without cute laptops to come talk to you.
Be honest, and open a conversation.
"Thanks! I've had for a little while, and it's grown on me. You want to try it out?"
Closing your porn at this point would be wise.
This lets her sit down next to you at the fashionable cafe, and lets you continue the conversation, leading to your getting her number/email/skype/screen name/etc.
If you want a manly netbook, there's only one thing you need to do...
Nail a steak to it! Steak is manly. Nails are manly. A steak nailed to a netbook is manly. It will show your manliness and your love of steak!
You also might want to change your background to something to do with UFC and make it inherently more dangerous to handle, like tape a knife to it.
Stick with these simple tips and you'll have the manliest netbook in no time!
This is my footer. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
The first laptop I had was from the Sharp MM series. It was really a netbook form factor, but much more expensive, rather than less expensive. And I dare say, it looked sexy -- I remember leaving it on a table, looking over at it and seeing a girl stroking it, caressing it... I am not making this up.
The second laptop I had was a Powerbook. The Macbook look hasn't changed much since then -- still shiny aluminum with those sleek curves.
So, maybe you don't want it to look "manly" -- maybe you want it to look sexy and stylish, even feminine. Not because that's what you are, but because it's actually aesthetically appealing, to both sexes -- and because if she does end up being bisexual, all the better!
By the way: While I suspect the above is true, you should take it as humor.
More seriously, "cute" is fine. It's like walking around with a cute puppy. And honestly, what you're wanting to do is like trying to mod that puppy into a rottweiler -- even if you were completely successful, that's going to scare away more women than it attracts.
If they're talking to you at all, that's an opening. You don't even need a witty one-liner -- studies show that the best pick-up line is "Hi." It's quite possible that you have plenty to say about your laptop, and a lot of it in terms they might even understand.
Alright, alright, one possible mod: if the video card doesn't completely suck, put Compiz on it. That should keep the conversation going.
Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
A REAL carbon fiber case might be pricey so how about faux fiber or diamond plate???
MSI netbook is great, i have one with ubuntu 8.10 inside... works great for me. http://www.muncom.com/ http://www.xsuperstore.muncom.com/
The obvious answer is affix Steer Horns to the top. Like the texans do to the front of their otherwise feminine White Cadillac's. Works every time, and no one will make the mistake of sitting on your laptop.
--hook'em Horns
it's not the size that counts -- it's what you do with it.
I have the exact same laptop but it's the 'love edition' with hearts on it. Guess what? Girls find it cute and come tell me about it all the time (which I really enjoy). Guys, however, seem to be somewhat intimidated by my lack of caring about the hearts on my laptop.
Love edition
So my suggestion : don't make the 'problem' go away, make it worse by getting the love edition.
CHROME IT! nyuk nyuk nyuk
Install FreeSWITCH and you'll have the manliest OSS telecom app around! :P
-MC
I recommend that you get this little free utility called ZoomIt and add its shortcut to your startup folder (assuming you're on Windows, and not Linux -- most Linux flavors can configure this with Compiz Fusion). It's not going to make your sub-netbook more manly, but it might just make it more useful.
I installed ZoomIt on my mom's sub-netbook which is even smaller than yours (its screen is 8.4 inches and it has Windows XP Home edition), and it definitely helped. Let's say you want to show someone something on your screen, you just press Ctrl-1 to zoom in (it uses the pointer of your mouse to know where to zoom in) and to come back to normal -- you just release those keys. This zooming effect is really smooth and gets even better if you hook up a mouse with a wheel on it. Also, as an added bonus, the program allows you to draw on the surface of your screen once you're zoomed in, which is useful if you want to call attention to a particular part of the screen.
And of course, it comes in really handy if you have to strain your eyes to read some of the stuff on that small screen. Some of the Internet browsers (like Opera) also have some decent zooming facilities, but it's better I think to get used to one zooming facility that you can use everywhere on any application that you might be working on, and it's definitely one of the most usable ones -- with one of the smallest memory footprints -- I've seen out there.
even though this topic is beyond everyday pitiful and ridiculous standards, it does warm my heart a little to see slashdotters of all sorts getting behind this weak minded, weak willed automaton poisoned by the hollow creeds of our materialistic society.
my advice, vague as it may be - just remember that every human is equal, and you'll have the upper hand in any situation ever (yes even comebacks and conversations).
she was the daughter of a wealthy florentine pogen read em and weep was her adjustable slogan
o/^ I see a netbook and I want to paint it blaaack...
Yup, flat black spray paint and some blue painter's tape to mask off the essential bits. That'll take the cute off it.
Wrap it in barbed wire - ex-fucking-treme, man!
Small is the new Big ....
Krylon generic olive drab guarantees a manly statement. For added effect spray close to the laptop to make those runs look like you don't care what people thin. For even more effect grab hold of it before it's dry to leave smudges and finger prints.
If your that insecure
Parser error, line 1, near "that"
Bow-ties are cool.
Buy a Chuck Norris beard and glue it to your girly computer
"It's not about the size - it's what I do with it that counts"
Cheers, Glen
Get a wolf t-shirt. Cut the wolf out. Tape it to the outside of the laptop so as you sit there with the laptop screen up, the wolf is facing all passers by. It will scare competitors shitless while also attracting the stronger potential mates.
Let the wolf guide you.
He said more manly not less!
IranAir Flight 655 never forget!
You need to use stickers of something EXTREMELY AWESOME, like Brawndo, the Thirst mutilator!
They got electrolytes! And they can make you WIN AT YELLING!
Take the Homer Simpson approach - add speed holes with a pickaxe
This joke gets funnier every time I see it.
Bow-ties are cool.
I have an EEE, and what works really well is to say "I'm compensating for something.'
Long ago I learned the best way to meet women is a) be injured, b) go shopping with a baby, and c) walk around a park with a cute dog.
I'm aged and married now so this tip is useless to me, but since I'm not stingy I figured I'd pass this along. =)
I bought a coffee at my favorite coffee shop near my college about a dozen years ago. As I rounded the bend I saw a kitten stuck in a snowdrift. It was pretty obvious he was recently placed there. Discarded would probably be the better word.
Couldn't abandon him, so I parked the car, grabbed the kitten and set about looking for the owner.
Walk into a college coffee shop with a kitten sometime. Thank me later.
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
Keep your browser open to a "penis reduction" advertisement. This may get you the attention you desire.
...you need something like my HP ZD7000. It weighs 9lbs, has a KEYPAD, gets hot enough to cook toast, and will suck the face off your skull if you get too close to the fans.
Somehow, it doesn't seem manly to tote around a bunch of trash, like netbooks. Alright, if it's NECESSARY to tote the damned thing around, buy a plain black netbook. And, DO NOT buy a freaking hoky-ass backpack, fannypack, purse, or whatever the hell. Plain black briefcases are suitable, nothing else. Get yourself a damned black suit, white shirt, and black shoes. See the ideal models here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEIanr5ueGU And, stop having that old heifer wash and style your hair (get a real haircut, instead), end the pedicure and manicure appointments, sell the stupid assed pink Cadilac, stop talking with a lisp, and, finally, STOP LOOKING AT YOUR DAMNED REFLECTION IN EVERY MIRROR AND WINDOW YOU PASS! If these measures don't stop people getting the impression that you're gay, then bite the bullet, and come out of the damned closet. You fudgepacking fruitcake.
"Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
It fits in my pocket... luckily I already had extra-large pockets... for... uhm... maybe this wasn't such a great pickup line.
Mal-2
How is the Riemann zeta function like Trump rallies? Both have an endless number of trivial zeros.
"This is my cute laptop, motherfucker!" or something to that effect.
Well, some sort of leather anyways. Maybe something distressed?
Crap, don't listen to me. Man shouldn't say 'maybe' about such things. And snakeskin is the best choice anyways. Not ostrich.
Studs would work, too. Get it pierced!
deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.
Literally. Y'know, those big rubber testicles you see hanging from the backs of pickup trucks, typically the kind of truck with camouflage paint, oversize tires, rollbars in the bed, and a gunrack. Buy a set of huge rubber balls and hotglue them to the lip of your laptop so that, when it's open, they hang down. Then put a sticker on the top that says, "This is a normal size laptop, but next to my junk, everything looks smaller."
*** *** You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me... ***
Hang a set of steel scrotum (not unlike those hanging off trucks) off your netbook.
How about you grow up? Who cares if they think it's cute. I'm sure to women that's actually a turn-on. Women operate on a different frequency than men and it's a wonder that you've made it this far in life if you're worrying about you're netbook being straight-looking.
Unfortunately, used notebooks tend to have used-up batteries.
Also, you need to check the resolution of external monitor it can support - my T41 can only do up to 1280x1024, though it can dual-screen that along with its built-in.
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Same problem with a white Eee. I went with XKCD/Don Quixote
http://i39.tinypic.com/z0sh5.jpg
Umm, depending on what you are after, that is a GOOD thing.
Personally, id just want the damned thing to work so i can get my job done, but if you are using it as a 'beacon of virility' then getting those responses is not a bad thing.
Sort of like how a cute dog attracts them from miles away.
---- Booth was a patriot ----
This has been my answer for years, any time someone tries to ridicule my subcompact car:
"You know how some guys get big SUVs or sports cars to compensate for their sexual inadequacy? I'm doing the same thing, just the other way 'round."
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
...put an NRA or a Marine Corps sticker neatly on the lid. I'd recommend Marine Corps, since the anti war people don't want everyone to think they're also anti troops. Also acceptable would be local sherrif's department sticker, if available. Any women who still wants to talk about your netbook's "cuteness" will almost certainly be someone you only want to talk hardware specs with.
May I recommend reading my essay about Digital Penis?
http://ultraorange.net/2008/09/01/boys-and-toys-or-is-my-penis-really-smaller-without-the-newest-digital-gadget/
Sorry pal, but the only way to make your netbook more manly is to join a gym and start working out. Once you can handle a 200lb weight with one hand, nobody will call your netbook 'cute' anymore.
You just need a new purse to put it in that will let people know what kind of man you are.
Just wrap it in a steak. A nice, thick, dripping read manly steak.
If you have trouble keeping the steak from falling off, tie it with bacon.
You just can't get more manly than that without a monster truck.
In my opinion this is what netbooks are, fullstop!, and that means with half of the statements of women I agree. "Adoreable" ... not really for me, but again, I can understand women here. If you want something "manly" then get a IBM/Lenovo X series computer. X300 is of course unbeatable, but go for a used X-something from IBM if you want to save money. Even the older ones are still better than any cute netbook.
But don't complain about the impression netbooks make! Those impressions are for sure correct. Get used to it!
My Other Laptop Is A Kaypro II
By now, you should have decided on a personal masculine role, and all you need to do is think of a response that fits with that role.
Nature Boy: "I picked the laptop that took up the least room in my hiking backpack/tackle box."
Muscle Beach: "This baby will balance on the ledge in front of the squat rack, so I can watch Ultimate Fighter back-episodes while I PUMP IRON, HURRRRF *flex*"
Ueber-nerd: "Really, all I need is a connection to the mainframe. THAT'S where the magic happens."
Family guy: "Yeah, I got one of these for my nephew, and decided I just had to have one too."
Lounge lizard: "Yeah, I guess. You up for drinks after work?"
Boy in Man's Body: *blush* "Well, I kinda like it, too."
Stuffed Shirt: "It runs the office software, which is all I want out of it. Now, unless you're interested in examining my briefs...?"
Working Stiff: "Damnit, it's all I can afford in this economy. At least it'll get me online to post my resume."
Hipster: "Hey, it's lightweight, portable, and if I lose it somewhere, no biggie."
Metrosexual: "Yeah, it totally completes the look I was aiming for. It matches nearly anything in my closet, and besides, who really wants to be seen lugging around some ten pound black mon-strosity?"
Undergrad: "Hey, it fits neatly in between the 40 pounds of books I haul, and it balances nicely on those little arm-desks they have over in Truman hall...you know the ones, right?"
Grad student: "Back in the flat, I flip this baby over and cook my ramen on the PSU."
Liberal arts windbag: "I really think that we've moved past the point in design philosophy that requires 'bigger' to be 'better.' Really, this aesthetic is apparent in all sorts of places these days..."
Arch-conservative heartlander: "You know, the less money I spend on things not made in the good old U. S. of A. the better. Do you know just how much of this thing was manufactured overseas?"
Office drudge: *blank look* "Oh, thanks." *continue typing*
Closet rocker: *can't hear the "cute" remarks, headphones too loud*
Petty man of mystery: *quickly change windows, covering up multiple smaller panes* "Yeah, it's...greeeat! So, how's about the...weather?"
Unrepentant gamer: "This cheesy little biscuit is for work. I've got a REAL rig back home that'll really crunch frames."
Pre-apocalyptic scavenger: "Do you know just how much I saved by losing two inches on this thing? Enough to buy a month's worth of MRE's, for starters."
Reciprocitarian: "Thanks, so are your shoes."
New Luddite: "Bleh, have to carry this accursed thing everywhere, might as well pack light. What do you mean you've been trying to reach me for hours...oh, dang, had my cell turned off again."
Dr. House: "So are your tits. I mean shoes."
Junior Ecologist: "It's way more energy-efficient than the alternatives, especially since I've undervolted it. And it's so quiet! Yeah, just hang on while I finish rebooting..."
Terminally Un-Sober: "No, YOU'RE cute. Yes, you are. Now, you gotta tell me. Honestly. Do you ever let your hair down?"
Spiraling Insecurity Complex: "Cute? Didn't you see my leather jacket, tattoos, and motorcycle on your way in? Cute doesn't cut it, baby." *makes mental note to get eyebrow piercings*
+2 Chick Magnet wielder: "Yeah. I got it so I could carry it while walking my dog, and catch up on e-mail while getting some fresh air. Yeah, it's a [chocolate lab/beagle/chihuahua]. Great with kids."
The Disarmer: "Here, catch!"
http://www.thingiverse.com/thing:296
That a "netbook" was either masculine or feminine, so then was my HP620 juvenile?
Maybe cause my Eee 904HD is black? maybe it's a generational thing.
I killed da wabbit -Elmer Fudd
...on the lid.
"I carry this tiny, tiny computer to compensate for my enormous penis."
If that's a pickup line, we're a match made in heaven.
This post climbed Mt. Washington.
The Truck Nuts
Here's what I would do. I would buy lots of glittery unicorn and rainbow stickers. Then I would draw big Xs through them to show that I hate sissy things like unicorns and rainbows. Maybe even a Hello Kitty sticker with the eyes scratched out and devil horns drawn on it. I use a shiny white Dell Mini 9 and I just added an apple sticker over the logo. That helped a lot.
talkingDigital.org is a pretty good website.
I put a bad ass skin on my laptop that I designed in Photoshop and I got it at skinit.com. I constantly get comments on how sweet it is and I have since added one to my work laptop as well. It protects it from scratches and will also give you that 'manly' look that you so crave! They are like 30 bucks...a steal if you ask me. I used to carry around a scratched up pos.
The next time a woman calls your netbook cute show them your pr0n collection. They'll never again have doubts over your sexual persona. And you may get them interested to try some of the things depicted in your collection (I just hope it isn't all BDSM)
"I love my job, but I hate talking to people like you" (Freddie Mercury)
Adorn it with pirate regalia. Yarr!
Actually, my last employer-issued laptop came with such a sticker, pre-installed by HP. "Designed for", this cute four-pane/color graphic, and "Microsoft Windows XP"
Sounds like he did.
Your ad here. Ask me how!
Get those fucking bull balls that rednecks hang on their pickups, hang them off your netbook.
POKE 36879,8
Do what they did to muscle cars in the 50s and 60s--add fins to the back, a blower to the front, and retrofit a big speaker (for the obligatory loud revving noises when you turn it on).
Then again, if you add a "blower" to the front, who cares if it's "cute?"
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." --Groucho Marx
My daughter (14) recently grew out of her Asus EEE. Her other gadgets provide what she needs and the battery was starting to go. I'm thinking of getting another battery and seeing how I might repurpose it.
There's just one problem.
It's pink.
She chose the pink model. So far I haven't found a solution less intrusive than spray paint. As I obviously can't be seen using it in it's current form, I'm a-thinkin' Rattle-Can Black.
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
Blast some Manowar!
How to make it more manly? Pure and simple: Scratches, scrapes, and hair protruding from every other key on the keyboard.
Well, certainly like to race. I honestly hope that is all it ever was. He really was an awesome priest and individual.
I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
How about "Well, I'll show you my laptop if you show me your [insert anything you want here except penis]". Nothing says "not gay" like good old heterosexual lechery!
Seriously. If you go to any FastSigns or similar quick sign shop, they can print anything you like on a flexible, shrink-wrap plastic they can then wrap around your case, like a second skin. The plastic wrap is can be shrunk around corners (they can even do electric guitars) and many stores have artwork ready to go - wood grain panels, steel, diamond-tread steps, rusted metal - lots of macho stuff. For better security, you can get your name or company logo printed on the material and then applied.
Captain Digital Fighting for truth, justice, and graphic design.
Speed holes are a start. Geek engraving is the way to go.
One of these designs should help
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm89tfprStE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6ABDKPZtNg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZCqNBpEVc0
If none of the above will make it manly, try this;
http://hackedgadgets.com/2009/03/10/steampunk-frankenstein-computer/
The truth shall set you free!
"My penis is the same way."
Conforming to stereotypes is a guaranteed way not to get noticed.
I occasionally borrow my wifes MSI Wind and it does attract female attention. I guess it is the computer equivalent of carrying a small fluffy dog.
If you don't like female attention you can probably get the other sort my slapping an Apple logo on it.
Pedobear
Sticker
. . . is one that helps you remember a prayer to St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes.
Your netbook will look "manly" about the same time as your frilly skirt and stilletors. :)
hawk
wow... there are men this self-conscious about a piece of equipment? A lot of women find the iPod cute, but I don't crack out the sony walkman with the purse, err, sidebag to hold all my cassette tapes in whenever I go anywhere. Computers are just tools. If you carry one around as a status symbol, you might be quite a bit fruitier than you actually imagine yourself to be.
That said, a computer earns more respect based on what's inside the box, versus the outside. You can turn a "cute" machine into an impressive one by modding it to give it unique functionality you can't buy on a stock unit. For example, the Acer Aspire One can be modded to support a built in touch screen. If that doesn't impress anyone, they're probably not bright enough to appreciate the effort involved in such a mod.
Anyway, please don't become yet another Starbucks-based pseudo-author who's only there to look important
8==8 Bones 8==8
"Yea, it's cute, and you should see what I can do with it."
FLR
My other laptop is a Cray? My other computer is your Windows machine?
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
what is the most primitive or obscure OS you could install on it?
but if you really want a GUI, windows 3.1.
OS X is very manly! My gay friends all tell me how manly my MacBook Pro is!
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
..with the OP.
2 years ago I was on a flight watching a movie on my Samsung Q1-ultra. The flight attendant leaned over, look at the UMPC (which was in the general direction of my lap) and said "Wow, that's cute, I've never seen one so small".....
"They make the computer go faster"
If people tell me the same thing, I'd say, "Thank you. But more importantly, it works very well. I highly recommend it." Be sure tell people your reasoning behind your recommendation.
In all seriousness, who the hell cares? You have women talking to you- why should you care if it's cute? Mr Testosterone over there can go hang out with all his manly friends, you've got someone nicer to be with.
Still loves my first-gen Asus. I never undock my laptop anymore. Wife would kill me if I used it as a pickup tool though, so I'll go slink away and do the dishes now honey....
"Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!"
You think she cares about the computer you use?
Frankly, if she DOES, you should ignore her, unless her problem is directly related to the computer. Otherwise she is just a shallow waste of space, justs like you.
Yes, *JUST LIKE YOU*.
The computer you use, and the computer she uses (or does not use) have NOTHING, I'll repeat that, NOTHING, to do with whether you'll fall in love, get married, shag a hell of a lot, hopefully create some nice, well adjusted children, etc, etc,
If you think you iMac Pro laptop is important for this task, (like some f**kwits in some previous posts on slashdot), you are going to be very disappointed, and/or you are going to seriously hurt (possibly several years down the line) the woman you are hoping for).
Do yourself (and her) a favaour and forget about the fact the your iMac is more cool than your PC, and think about what *YOU*, as a *PERSON*, offer *HER*/*HIM* as a potential life partner.
I love nice cars, gadgets, hand made, bespoke, musical instruments - but it IS NOT WORTH A DAMN without someone that is with you *FOR THE RIGHT REASON" and that *IS NOT" because I've "GOTTA CEWLA LAPTOP than he has" and *IS NOT* because I am *WEALTHIER" than hs is, AND SO ON.
Finally, If you are so bright. Why do I need to spell the above out to you? I apoligise for the clumsy grammar.
And for those of you that think I'm clueless about OS and must be an MS zealot and therefore closed-minded, you shoud look to yourself first, I've worked on 7 different home computer systems in the 80s, bespoke 8 bit embedded systems, multi-platorm Unix/VMS systems, Windows, Linux etc, etc and I currently work supplyinf software tools for C++/C/Delphi/VB/Fortran/Java/JavaScript/Lua/Python/Ruby/Perl/Php. Its not as if I am not widely experienced.
"Would you like to pet it?"
"don't be rough with it"
You know what drives me batshit insane? Men who are so ridiculously insecure that any suggestion that they aren't filthy, hair-covered savages breaking trees in half with their teeth sends them into an identity tail spin.
All your concern about the "image" that your laptop presents is an indication that you really are a weak, unmanly wuss. Use conditioner and lotion, pluck the center out of your monobrow (and clean up around the edges if necessary), wear clothes that fit (baggy may be comfortable, but you look like a tool). All of these "feminine" things will draw much more desired female attention than "My laptop is cute??? What do you mean by that???" ever, ever, ever will.
Confidence is manly. Get some.
We just got a 9' eee for work, in black it looks plenty manly, especially when you have to peck type with one finger ;-P
Seriously, have you considered a bumper sticker to the effect of "I keep my BIG IRON in the bedroom."
My Other Computer is a Beowulf Cluster
Wolf Shirt
The MSI Wind is probably the best / most osx compatible netbook out there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g949nqXQrsU
So if you think it makes you too wimpy, or you're trying to hide from girls.. send it my way.
Your biggest problem is NOT your netbook, but the fact that you ask on /. how to look "manly".
"You think 10" is cute, you should check my pants"
... is a completely different game than initiating conversation with a woman.
Any woman can file you into the "friend zone" for any number of reasons. She has a boyfriend, she's gay, she's ten times more career focused than you, she doesn't date stoners, etc. etc. etc. there's plenty of examples.
Just initiating conversation with cute girls is kind of like fishing... just start the conversation and don't worry about where it goes. If you really want her to like you in a more-than-friends way (and assuming that there's nothing horribly pressing in the opposite direction like her sexual orientation or something) try just asking her lots of questions about herself. Also don't be afraid to flirt. In the end, even if this doesn't work, you've got some level of chemistry with someone new, and her girlfriends will see that and might think you're pretty damn attractive because of it.
I find more often than not the two main reasons a girl files a dude into the "friend zone" is because either a) he keeps talking about himself or b) he doesn't show sexual chemistry (aka flirting).
http://www.skinit.com/
In a coffeeshop or anyplace else with public Wifi, it also helps if the sticker is not actually true (no unpatched Windows Millenium boxes...)
Caveat Emptor is not a business model.
This is easy,
1) Put a chainlink on it so that it can be carried like a biker's wallett
2) Put a Harley-Davidson sticker on it, or get it painted with one
3) Get a tattoo.
You could comment on how having a smaller laptop makes it more portable, making you more versatile and able to get your work done more quickly from anywhere. Then think of somewhere to go (like a coffee shop or something) and ask if she'd like to come along. also, don't tell her you play games on it.
No heavy metal stickers....
Just one ARFCOM sticker is all you need.
Nothing say "manly" like an AR-15 boltface!
Apply Hello Kitty stickers and add pink racing stripes. Nothing says "manly" better.
Don't most netbooks get like several hours of battery life? Sounds like an easy problem to solve. Girl says, "How cute!" Guy says, "You should see how long it lasts." Let her interpret.
Stab the guy with the biggest laptop and then open up your graffiti-clad Asus Eee PC, with 2gb ram and 320gb 7200rpm hard drive, and sit down like nothing has happened.
Just splash half a bottle of Drakkar on it and glue a huge dildo onto the back of the screen... Showing your 'package' is always classy in public!
Thank you for making that clearly ironic enough.
Somebody needed to.
Computer memory is just fancy paper, CPUs just fancy pens with fancy erasers; the 'net is just a fancy backyard fence.
If you have women approaching you to admire your laptop they obviously already don't find you repulsive or unapproachable.
That's a damn good start by any measure.
You must also live in a region where having a laptop or a iphone or whatever actually gets you attention, rather being a minimum requirement to not be outright ignored. (hmmm where do you live? what's real estate like there at the momment?)
Most girls do like geeky guys in actual fact. It's an observation of mine that only certain kinds of adolescent females that don't date geeky types, the kind of woman who is at that age rather concerned about her self image and social success (as we all are, infact it's a big measure of self-worth until we grow up a bit). In the real adult world the nice girls will end up with the geeky guys.
After logging in slashdot still does not take you back to the page you were on. It's been that way for 20 years.
... and your worried? You're one third of the way there:
1. Start conversation
2. Small talk
3. Get phone number
I think the issue here is how your looking at the situation. The glass is half full.
Users... the only thing keeping 1st level support from being the bottom feeders.
Just keep it in your man-purse when you're not using it so people won't judge you.
Considered case mods? Nothing gets your man card reissued quicker than customization of your gadget using manly things like power tools and solder.
After logging in slashdot still does not take you back to the page you were on. It's been that way for 20 years.
Clearly none of these nerds have ever talked to a woman.
Allow me to lay it down for you--
First of all, why are you talking to these women that come up to you? Keep your eyes glued to the screen as they approach. Have a console primed and ready on another workspace, and build something that will spit out a ton of text while it compiles.
Make sure your Linear Algebra and Its Applications book is visibly emerging from your man-purse that you keep your little toy computer in. Occasionally page through it furiously as if you are actually looking for something in it. Slap it shut with satisfaction after pretending to read a few sentences.
Theatrically hit RETURN when they are a few steps away and then stare intently at the gcc output as if you have any fucking clue what it says.
When they say 'Excuse me...' raise a pointer finger at them as an indication to wait--you are busy. If they start to walk away then firmly command them to wait. If your build is taking too long, just kill it, they won't know the difference. Just make sure they see all the scrolly text going on your terminal.
Oh, and make sure you're using something badass like amber-on-black, or white-on-black. If your terminal has an anime character as the background then you aren't going to get any play.
At this point they're intimidated by your intellect and technical prowess for sure. When they ask about your netbook, let them know you've tuned it to get 20 hours of battery life, and it runs Crysis on max settings.
The pussy is sure to be wet by now, so make your move. Look her right in the eye, and tell her that you want her to be in your text-only, curses-based address book that you wrote yourself.
Pull a number and then tell her you can fix more than just her computer. Wink, but try not to make it creepy.
At this point you should probably smoke a cigarette, just to make sure she can tell you have edge, even though you're a dork. Make sure to throw around a lot of money in the cafe too--tip excessively and buy food and don't eat it. Girls like money, believe me.
Oh, and leave the shades and Matrix jacket at home. That shit doesn't fly anymore. Good luck!
just tell them you're compensating for an unusually large ___ [fill in the blank]. Some suggested answers include (Hard drive, mortgage, hemorrhoid), but be creative - this could be a great line.
ôó
Hail Xenu?
First thought: that must be a gay man
Second thought: or maybe a bearded lady
Third thought: a gay geeky man with a scrubby beard?
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
I am not going into the usual ad hominem attacks other slashdotters have resorted to regarding insecurities and compensations but why is white not a manly color to you. A lot of geeks these days are toting white Macbooks (if they haven't replaced it yet with the new generation) and I don't see them insecure about the color.
The only reason why I have the black version of the MSI Wind is that white is a tough color to keep clean, especially with my hyperhidrosis, but other than that I do not have problems with it.
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I too have a white MSI Wind. If you're really all that self conscious about your Wind, do like I did and brag about how you voided the warranty by adding another gig of ram (MSI no longer claims this voids the waranty), how you overclocked the atom processor to 1.9Ghz and how you can mod the Wind as a dual boot hackintosh as well (I never got around to that part). Well, at the very least, doing as I mentioned will scare most of the women fawning over your netbook away. Why did you want to do this again?
I hate all sigs, even this one.
Paint it brown, like my Acer Aspire. Chicks dig brown.
Carry it around in your purse.
I look like the poster child for heavy metal and testosterone injections. In order to help soften up my image with women I put cute little dino and bug stickers on my netbook. Got them at a crafts store for $2 a book while I was picking up knitting supplies. I look manly, my netbook doesn't need to.
I am often told by women that their first impression of me is that I am tall dark and intimidating. Anything can do to give them an excuse to think otherwise is fine by me.
Ascii artist &
Pathetic.
As in : anyone who has to wonder how to change his laptop
so girls will think he is more manly is one seriously pathetic
bastard.
Seriously, consider suicide for the betterment of the human race.
Fill the hard drive with porn and spill beer on the keyboard
Do like the guys with the crappy cars do to compensate...paint flames down its sides. Bonus: It'll also look FAST!
Woman: That's a cute little computer!
You: Yeah! My boyfriend seems to think so!
It's Not the Size, It's how you use it...
While I thought that, like a subcompact car, it if anything would indicate that I'm not compensating for anything, there might be a downside to this approach. When I first started sporting around my Eee last year, "omg it's so tiny!" was one of the first comments it got me from a woman.
I never want to hear that phrase from a woman again, especially while she's pointing at something approximately lap height.
I have to admit, I'm not sure how to make a netbook more macho but I did customize my netbook.
My EEE 900HA came with a really glossy finish on the cover which made it a fingerprint magnet. I tried to get around this with a can of spray paint, which surprisingly gives a fairly professional thinkpad-like finish.
I figured while I was at it, I'd decorate it with a painted pearljam-alive figure. It wasn't really my intention, but occasionally I do get a comment about Pearljam which is a bit of a conversation starter.
Pic here:
http://forum.eeeuser.com/viewtopic.php?id=51953
But if you're looking for something manlier still, maybe you can glue a gun to your netbook or something ;)
--
#include <malloc.h>
free(your.mind);
That's what I always do when I want to feel manly.
Now wash your hands.
FUCK YOU STFU FAGGOT
(OK. Who's gonna get this?)
CUR ALLOC 20195.....5804M
I'm telling you, dude, keep it as it is. Carry your ten inch netbook with pride! Women can spot a penis extension right away, but this will tell them that no laptop can contain your confidence.
Also, whatever you're driving now, trade it in for a Mini Cooper or a Smart.
Unless you're putting the netbook in your hand-bag, it's not like you have to worry about your masculinity. I mean, if you're worrying about that, just think how bad carrying a smartphone is!
Make a mount for it inside a Jeep, and then use the Jeep like it should be used. I know two gorgeous young ladies who know that's the coolest thing on the planet, and though it means nothing to them, they have their own existence as proof of my virility.
You probably don't want to destroy it, but put one good long scratch on the cover with a knife, rub some sand on it to add wear and tear (be careful not to get this inside the guts), scrape away the paint at the corners, and rub dirt over part of it. Try to make it look natural, like you didn't just destroy your own laptop trying to look cool.
If they still think it's cute, at least it's not the shiny pretty kind of cute. It should look like you bought it to use it, not to look at it. (Even though you're just doing it for the sake of looking at it.)
Get a bumper sticker? "My dick's larger than my netbook!"
Fully licensed blockchain psychiatrist
Get a Lenovo X200s, women hate it, it's not cute.
"It's not the length, it's not the size, but the fact this has Linux running inside."
"It's no Ferrari but then again, I don't need to compensate for anything."
"I use this tiny screen so I can stair at your [strike]chest[/strike] [u]eyes[/u] while I work."
"Real men know how to use any size equipment"
Paint it matte black & fit shorter springs & bigger wheels.
A couple of *real* bullet holes and some blood should make it manly enough. Will probably keep women away, too. Chuck Norris has one and it makes women feel insecure.
NOBODY ON SLASHDOT HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
That may be true. I think I stopped posting on /. when we were dating. Now we're married and I post again.
What's next, are you gonna tell us your girlfriend is also a Linux geek who can set up an encrypted Debian-based RAID cluster while having sex with you in her very own basement? Riiiight.
No, but I did convert her from Windows to Unbuntu...that's gotta count for something...
"I don't care about the Constitution!" --Bill O'Reilly, November 17, 2009
So there I was showing off compiz to my classmates, and the hot, busty redhead actually said, "Ubuntu? That's linux for newbs." Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure she's a Windows user. Guess it goes to show women pay attention to which *NIX you use.
"I don't care about the Constitution!" --Bill O'Reilly, November 17, 2009
Jusy say that your sex slave uses it to keep track of your cage fight viktories.
If your masculine self-image is threatened by women saying your laptop is cute, you shouldn't be allowed to date.
Does it feel likely to anyone else that this "story" is one of them new-fangled marketing schemes.... The "I bought an MSI and now I have to deal with women chatting me up." doesn't seem just a touch over the top?
So you want it to repel women? Get the USB humping dog and USB powered pole dancer that I've seen at Frys. Superclassy. That should keep 'em at bay.
But seriously, I guess I wouldn't worry about it. Once it gets scuffed up it won't be "cute" any more.
try being more manly yourself and getting over it.
Let me put on my robe and wizard hat.
Now guess which part of a woman's brain is activated when they see a cute baby?
Just take your wildest guess and you'll understand the type of thing that might actually turn a woman on.
geeks have a reputation for being single.
especially when they're running Linux. Who wants to carry a big clunky laptop around to prove they're tough? I think big laptops make you look stupid, like you're using it compensate for something else that's missing, or you just want to play games.
Netbooks are responsible, sleek, intelligent (especially the Linux ones), they're tools for men, while larger (Vista) laptops are toys for boys. I don't know what kind of sorority girl you're trying to attract with a big laptop, but probably not the kind who's looking at your computer. It's intelligent women who look at laptops, and they arn't put off by netbooks.
I came in here hoping to see atleast one post rooting for a steampunk themed netbook. Sadly, I leave in disappointment.
Just write on the cover
'10 INCHES'
An arrow pointing downwards is optional.
http://www.engadget.com/2009/03/25/acers-custom-aspire-one-netbook-heinous-exemplified/
...and a wizard hat. Do not forget the wizard hat.
Buy a CRAY.
What the hell kind of question is this?! And what kind of idiot is worried about it?! If you are worried about girls saying your netbook is 'cute', maybe you should undergo cosmetic surgery, and have a pair of testicles implanted.
Jesus H. Christ! The quality of SlashDot's articles is taking the same route as Michael Richard's popularity.....
Knowing Google's lust for data collection, the Soviet Union is still alive and well inside the psyche of Sergey Brin....
The guy shows up with new tiny burgers. Women go gaga hanging their large breasts out over the cute little burgers.
Get the lid airbrushed with a cool yet not too violent design and mod it as best you can. There are places you can get skins printed if your not into a permanent design but if you ask me no skin will ever fit or look as good as a good airbrush.
The balding white guy that works at BuyMore?
Two girls... one cup.
Make them largelier!. Ow wait, that might not be the point of a netbook.
"It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it!"
Chuck Norris wallpaper :-P
Well, if you're going for really mixed signals, there's always this one too: Darth Kitty
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
Give it up. You're not going to make your netbook more 'manly' (not in the way you mean) no matter what you do. It's like walking a poodle - no matter what spin you put on it, it's still going to be a cute little furball. Since you need a laptop that portrays a more manly presence, I'd suggest you ditch the netbook and get a toughbook.
Zero Cool painted his laptop in military camouflage.
You're quite right.
;)
Besides, it's much more fun going shopping etc. when you can *both* openly ogle at pretty women
Last year a successful businesswoman came up and talked to me because she was curious about my EeePC 701. After looking at it, she decided that it was a "Woman's computer". She shook my hand and welcomed me her gender, since it meant I was enlightened enough to just buy a simple machine to meet my needs, and not feel the need to get the biggest, most powerful toy. It felt weird but I know it was the most sincerest compliment she could pay me. What more could you want?
... the only thing that men fight about which one is tinier.
...buy the pink one.
"It's not the size that matters, it's what you do with it" ;)
Have Tim "The Toolman" Taylor, strap a V8 to it.
Laser etch ur laptop with Super Mario's game maps http://www.flickr.com/photos/46429967@N00/sets/72157612666668835/
Yeah I just put a sticker on mine and hide in a corner. j/k No I really don't pay attention to the looks.
...so I will.
"It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it..."
Double meaning if it's got a bt4 sticker on it.
Obviously needed.
Or strap its lid with barbwire.
I don't know about you, but the fact that women are noticing your netbook and in a positive way means you should do nothing... when women say "cute" they are thinking positively, and that transfers to you. It's like having a puppy... enjoy it.
Hello Kitty.
Obviously you aren't really "manly", you depend on other peoples' opinion to feel validated instead of just being confident and, well, a man.
So my advice to you is grow some balls and be a man. Someone else's opinion shouldn't affect who you are. If it does, well, that's pathetic.
You definitely can't tell her "it's how you use it" because you're using it to ask /. how to be not lame...
Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementia (There is no great genius without a mixture of madness) - Aristotle
I used to have a spray painted anarchy sign on my laptop. I'm not an anarchist but it looked good.
...it's that my hands are so BIG!
I left my first-gen EeePC alone. It's great little machine for checking email, etc when I'm lifting weights, drinking beer, smoking cigars, watching football, and driving my king-cab full size pickup truck through the mud. Wait, wait... I lied. I don't go to the gym, I don't smoke, I don't drink beer, I don't watch football, and I drive a dilapidated Kia Sephia. The the others said, just be confident in yourself and possibly use it as a segway to getting to know those women in question.
Does she have to be "aware" that I'm having sex with her while she's doing this morning routine install ?
From my experience, the point where she sets up DRBD is usually where I get the best chances to sneek on my wife.
If only we had a basement... we could have fantasies...
I was bored with my bland looking macboo so asked my girlfriend to spruce it up, left her for an hour with a few sharpie sand the lappy it now looks amazing!
They fitted George Orwell's coffin with rollers so he could turn over more easily years ago.
- You should have bought the black one
- Surf for pron, keep it in foreground
- Attach spikes and knives on the side
- Play AC/DC mp3s loud
even a 5 year old used one will do the trick :D.
As the island of our knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.
Buy a pink one.
I never thought I would see the day. This is a slashdot thread that is actually packed full of good information on meeting women.
My mind is officially blown.
A slashdotter who didn't build his own computer is like a Jedi who didn't build his own lightsaber.
First for my 15" Powerbook titanium:
http://gallery.xcski.com/v/misc-pics/powerbook/DSCN1562.jpg.html
and now for my 17" MacBookPro
http://gallery.xcski.com/v/misc-pics/powerbook/IMG_1318.JPG.html
The next Cmdr Taco duplicate will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!
Nah, load NextStep 3.2 onto it. (Yes it can be done.)
i put viking horns on mine.
Get some scans of art of Tom of Finland, print them as stickers and stick to them to your laptop. Can't get more manly than that.
Jussi of Finland
Just tell them, "All my equipment is the right size for the job. . . "
It's all about Bondo Putty. Look up forums like the Nerf Modders, and replica prop boards to learn how to give it any goofy shape, and finish it with an automotive grade paint job. ...That or just wrap it in duct tape.
Rent it to someone who wants to talk to women who are making an excuse to talk to them. Step 2: ??? Step 3: PROFIT
A girl is talking to me, what do I do??? Slashdot help me!!!!
Those little burgers from Burger King make girls have orgasms. Or so it seems from the BK commercials.
I recently purchased a 10 inch [white] MSI wind.
Man, you must be a glutton for punishment... Next time get a black one and a good chunk of the problem goes away.
they'll take THAT seriously
Respond confidently with: "Do you like it? Here, feel it."
A manly image is all in the accessories, so attach these: http://www.bullsballs.com/
But not these: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28527841/
However, you might just consider gluing $100 bills on it: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article5537017.ece
"I believe in Karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it." : Dogbert
Is this guy for real?
I wish cute netbooks would have been available back when I was young and hitting on girls. - I had to rely on a puppy. And the puppies grow up to be big and scary dogs...
But as for making the netbook look better? - There's nothing that ugly that a can (or few) of matt black spray paint wouldn't fix...
If all else fails, pull the plug and get out...
The Life is out there...
A chrome plated LCD bezel might be cool, too.
Anything with skulls is more manly.
These are my friends, See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light.
This has been the best troll thread ever!
I saw a pair of these on some guy's pickup's trailer hitch and I immediately thought of him as more manly. I think that this might work for your netbook as well.
(Plus, first remove any Hello Kitty stickers...)
"Not an actor, but he plays one on TV."
Size does matter and in the realm of laptops/netbooks 10 inches is like 5 inches there buddy! Do yourself a favor and expand up to a 17 inch macbook pro! That's more like a real manly 8 or 9 or even 10 incher buddy!
Sell it.
Ok late to the party on this but did the whole of Slashdot just get trolled? Seriously - the way I read the OP it was a beautiful, aposite, perfectly pitched troll. And so many takers!
oh wait, you said manly...just tell them to rub it and see it get bigger.
Immediately put the girl in the driver's seat and demonstrate all the things you can do with the laptop. If you take control of the situation, then you are more powerful than she is. I've heard many men and women say that power is an aphrodisiac to women. She may refuse your offer. Ignore her and save yourself some time. Either way you are in control and not some just friends geek with a cute laptop.
"In other words, women are turned on by power even absent good looks. Men, on the other hand, require looks above all else."
http://www.juliaallison.com/articles/2006/05/amny_05_01_06.htmlGoogle displays confirmation bias, of course.
See zapyourcrap.com for some ideas.
"One empirical experiment is worth a thousand expert opinions." --Bill Nye, the Science Guy
Don't tell me you actually base your hardware choices on the impressions they make with other people. Because I'd probably just throw up in revulsion that such a weak craven creature could exists in my species. Retard.... I don't like your pants, change them now
Let's draw out the more logical question instead:
"How do we replicate this reaction and attention, but with our server racks?"
A woman sees and comments on your computer, she thinks you have money. Women dig money - it's built into their genetic code to get guys that can support them while they raise kids (regardless of whether or not they now want kids).
Money and intelligence, because you're talking about a computer. Women dig intelligence - again, genetic programming.
So when a woman says she likes your computer, she is already 70% sold on the date you are about to ask her out on. Congratulations!
The fact that you would submit this to "Ask Slashdot" is proof positive that you'll never get laid.
If you have to ask, you can't be a man!
"its not the size that counts, its what you do with it."
I hope I had the same "problem". Now unibody MacBooks are becoming more common :P
http://gallery.me.com/juliorecalde
It's not the size of what's in a man's lap, it's what he does with it. 10" is adequate for any woman, trust me.
Zoe Brain - Rocket Scientist
If you are single, why do you discourage women from talking to you? Look at it as an opportunity....think of the laptop as an "ice breaker". If you are married, here are some suggestions Put some stickers on it a.) bullet holes http://www.quadratec.com/products/75076_00.htm Ok, so this is probably not so "cute" but I think it is cool. Might suggest that you are a "bad marksman" or get shot at a lot. b.) Biohazard http://www.sunfyre.com/store/biohazrdstickers.htm Might send the wrong message, so make sure you wear cologne. c.) Spongebob stickers http://www.pricerighthome.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1545 Sponge bob is cool. Nuff said! d.) Laptop "Wrappers" http://laptopwrappers.net/ This is a commercial solution. I liked the "rock surface one. In any case, have fun. hope this helps. Jim
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." - Arthur C. Clarke
Install Python... a really big installation. Don't .zip it. Make sure it's always visible so no one makes the mistake of thinking you don't have a really big Python.
Also if you ever put your netbook on your lap (ala a laptop) make sure to put the power converter under it, so that it tilts at an angle. This will draw more attention to your massive Python.
If anyone asks where you got it, never, under any circumstances, say you got it "from your boyfriend." That doesn't work.
Hmmmm! Maybe I am out of touch, but I never have any doubts about my masculinity (with a 9 inch netbook, no less!). When anyone, including good looking women, comments, I say (honestly) "it makes more sense than lugging around a big bulky laptop" and let it go - people (especially women) seem to sense I am treating them as "people" instead of "objects" and react positively, usually with a very friendly response (though there are always the weirdos that think I am "hitting" on them - those make me want to run, not walk, to the nearest exit).
Hey girl, check it out: "It's my d*ck in a Netbook" (sing it while shaking your head and pointing both index fingers to open netbook in your lap)
Well one would think that with the name "basementman" that he has something to hide. Or there is a whole other agenda with the netbook and the name.. Creepy if you ask me
add Chrome plating and FINS to make you netbook more manly. Or a couple of cigarette/cigar burns on the case?
Sometimes a laptop is just a laptop.
"I faked meeting the baseline standards of human decency, but women weren't all over me, so now I'm bitter."
"She picked somebody else."
"I did friend things, and she treated me like a friend, instead of knowing it was all fraud to get into her pants! What do you mean I can't blame her for my being deceptive?"
"She was really smart, except, she was really dumb, not knowing who'd really be good for her. Well, I guess I meant, 'She was smart -- for a woman.'"
"Women are dumb and don't know what they want. Also, they're automatons. Since you'll never be self-assured, at least don't act like a sycophant. Act like an arsehole. If you're lucky, somebody will mistake that for being strong or sovereign and, quite frankly, that is your only chance."
"When I lost the vagina-american accessory, my manhood wilted off, so I spent a lot of money to advertise that I'm pitiful. Maybe, I'll attract some dumb chick with a Samaritan complex."
"It's scandalous I should have to groom myself, scandalous, I say!, while expecting ten times that from women!"
I'm not quite sure what you mean when you say "secure with each other" (inertia?), but I'd think if they were secure and self-assured, they'd say, Time to move on; I can do better than settle for someone who settles for me.
I find it revealing that your use of "joke" in that sentence works the same way as "slap across the face."
If you can show me an unexpected, insightful twist, I might laugh. If you're just rude, I'll treat you like any other arsehole, and if you expect to smile (and encourage further arseholosity) in reply, I'll treat you like an arse twice. Before trying to avoid you in the future.
I find society's obsession with "seeking a guy who can make you laugh" and such quite tiring; you get a low percentage of people who are actually talented that way, and a large percentage of idiots who read that as a requirement and then are trite or rude and hope people will mistake that for funny. Humour's so overrated it's not even funny.