Slashdot Mirror
Haiku vs Spam
Mark Cantrell was among several people who sent in a story about a company using "Haiku to Stop Spam. Essentially you use a copyrighted Haiku
to tag that a message meets criteria (1 Recipient, Pre-Existing Relationship,
etc) which then makes it a simple matter to filter the mail. I'm sure the spammers in China will laugh wildly as they forge the haiku. I challange comment posters to post only Haiku in this discussion ;)
Poet
Je t'aime Stéphanie
China eh? Funny, I always thought Haiku was a Japanese art. . .
I know more than you drink.
Spam is bad
Must do something to prevent
This is the answer
Things you think are in the Constitution, but are not.
a small unknown app
grows to prominence slowly
overtakes windows
Thank you
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution, to...protect me from the enemy, myself
What next? All my emails have to be in poetry form? Otherwise it will be filtered?
---
Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
Stopping spam, my treat Enlist the help of writers To drop the hammer
I think most people have better things to do than make everyone put poems in the email they send.
I think it would be easier for me to delete my spam manually.
Time flies like arrow
Box flies like box
Fruit flies like bananas.
(gimme a break, it's the only haiku I know. and it wasn't even mine!)
I don't know
how to write
a haiku.
this post is not bright
but at least a creative
request for flaimbait
~dijjnn
To be the first post lamer
on slashdot today
Writing crap about
Spammers laughing at system
Is not a good story
InThane
Haiku to stop spam based on a software filter will always fail
Moderation: Put your hand inside the puppet head!
posting in haiku
will leave much left unmentioned
but those are the rules
sometimes seventeen
syllables ain't enough to
express a complete
Face it, people are stupid, and the internet is the place where they all meet.
Chasing that First Post
No life to speak of, you see
Please mod me down now
a haiku filter,
no collateral damage.
ah, spam free morning.
1. Send millions of spam messages
2. ???3. Have sex with a mare!
Why Use Thing
The Japanese Poet Does Ask
Use PGP
-=[ Who Is John Galt? ]=-
Drop by drop by drop
Sweet rain turns to killing flood
One mail, ten mails, spam.
It's everyone's favorite treat!
Please pass the mustard.
Spam from those bastards, We want to stop it for good, but we never will.
Haiku not Chinese
It is Japanese Art Form
Flowers bathe in Sun
Buzzkill Likes to Inform.
crush technology it is the root of evil it will destroy us www.haikupostcardfoundation.com
- what is the definition of simultanagnosia?! I've been meaning to look it up!
who knew about the spam?
not the writers of this stuff.
this idea really sucks
There's no "I" in Linux.. err..
haiku as a tool
could you have predicted it?
I really doubt it
Pro-copyright news,
like shifting summer breezes,
fans Slashdot fires.
"The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
just what we need now
some more headers in email
what a waste of space
slashdot is so gay
they did away with the trolls
now it is boring
Foil spam with haikus?
I write this post in haiku form,
But see not the point.
The old pond; spammer
jumps in; the sound of water;
please, please, no bubbles.
"she says i'm lousy conversation. as if that's supposed to help."
Zen's sound is nothing
Power out, system silent
No power is Zen
CAN-CON 2019 - Ottawa's only book oriented Science Fiction Convention! October 18-20, Sheraton Hotel, Ottawa, Canada h
i am not poet
but this sounds cool to me now
spammers will have pain
retrorocket.o not found, launch anyway?
Altogether now...
spam spam spam spam spam,
spam spam spam spam spam spam spam,
spam spam spam spam spam.
"Success is based on knowing how far to go in going too far"
I can see it now
Haiku will get an RFC
and then be ignored
-- lk t lv ll th vwls t f wrds. T svs lts f tm t wrt bt ts pn n th ss t rd nd mks m lk lk cmplt dpsht.
"Fasten seatbelts tight
Your seat cushions float gently
Headsets five dollars."
I mod down anyone who uses M$ in their posts. I like to live on the edge.
who cares the topic
this is just a good excuse
to author haiku
Sa-wing that mallet
SPEWS can stop that spammy flood
Always LART that spam!
Come to the University of Mars! Classes starting soon!
A secret header, this haiku is copyright my message legal.
Stop the madness now! Do not send my mail address To anyone, please.
Enlarge your penis
Reregister your domain
Click to unsubscribe
Ha! I got a spam through!
~Idarubicin
This is a spam mail
please erase this from Inbox
Don't need viagra
this is for my friend
always so nice and helpful
no pyramid scheme
i hate christine hall
and her trafficmagnet site
send me endless spam
amazon dot com
stop sending me newsletters
I'm illiterate
.... um, i lost you after "0110100001101001".
Yuck. Mayo is much better.
Best Slashdot Co
Haiku: not chinese; From japan the art from japan the art form came; Baka is your name
Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
...the need for the "haiku rider" being that, evidently, in the mind of whoever came up with this scheme, someone is more likely to believe you if you point at a "poem" and say "that's COPYRIGHTED you hoser" than if you point at six lines of random legalese.
"The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
Spam is very bad, but
using a haiku to sue
unlikely to work
prosecutes through copyright.
How is this useful?
Seriously, though, while this will help separate out legitimate emails from spam (by preventing spammers from stealing the copywritten haiku), it forces you to either also read all of your spam or convince your friends/colleagues/etc. to also sign up for their service.
Also, if the emails are from people you know (which is why they signed up for the service in the first place... we don't want people we don't know sending us unsolicited email using this service), then why not just add their address into your address book, and just filter all email from people not in your book. That would accomplish the same thing as this (though without the possibility of prosecution).
I like the Beyesian spam filter that was mentioned a few days ago much better.
-T
if you need haiku, go here
(For those who don't know: haiku is three lines of five, seven, and five syllables, in that order.)
Five syllable line
Line of seven syllables
Five syllable line
From nmhu.edu:
HAIKU - (high-coo)
The haiku is a three-line, seventeen syllable, unrhymed poem, which uses nature as its primary focus. The Haiku captures a moment in nature or in life and freezes it with disciplined language. Each reader then thaws the message, the picture that has been painted by words, and brings the scene to life.
17 syllable, 3 lines
Line 1 5 syllables
Line 2 7 syllables
Line 3 5 syllables
Come to the University of Mars! Classes starting soon!
retarded idea
sucks more cock than piazza
slashdot sinks lower
My english teacher
Finally vindicated
Haiku has a use
Casca
This will make your thing
Grow one to three inches now!
Just send credit card.
Or if you would like
This pill will swell ladies' boobs!
Click here to opt out.
Original Spam
Lawyers make Yankee E-Mail
We all scream loudly
--- This meme is memory intensive
I'm sure that should have been formatted. Oh, well...nothing is as fun as an ugly haiku!
Stop the madness now!
Do not send my maill address
To anyone, please.
The above may be copied, used, or redistributed freely. However, if you store any part of this intellectual matter on digital media or in digital format, you must agree to destroy, delete, reformat and discard all digital media that contains this material within 24 hours.
So what happens when the spammers start to use Haiku?
Time to switch to another form of poetry?
What next Limericks?
"Do YOU want to see
Iambic Pentameter
Lesbian action?"
counting 5-7-5 on your fingers...
Have I about got it? I suppose there'd be options to have all messages go through to a "suspicious" box, or to do some kind of SpamAssassin tagging for unmarked email, etc.
So, how exactly is this different from homebrew "whitelist only" systems? The only distinguishing mark is that the sender's acceptance of a legal contract involves addition of a copyrighted mark, in this case, a haiku poem in a header.
If I've got my own whitelist system, that returns a message saying "use this string 'Mtzlplck' and the message will go through, but by doing this you agree that you're not a spammer, and if you violate this trust, I'll sue you," then I should have the same protections as if they'd illegially used a copyrighted mark. Right?
Or am I missing something significant?
The
I don't get this post
I use some Bayesian trees
Also, whitelisting
Commander Taco
Sees the new immitator
China, not Japan
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Do you really think some people in China spamming Americans in US to sell goods from overseas? Although some spams are from China, the stuff they sell are all in US.
As a matter of fact, the spammers are from US. These bastards are using poorly configured servers in China.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Max, the 4 eyes.
Spam in my mailbox
abuse acted on complaints
Joyous internet
utter rubbish
If you like haiku,
Go to this cheesy web site.
It's full of this crap.
"In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user. You've got your own newsgroup, alt.total.loser." -Weird Al
Try h t t p
colon slash slash habeas
dot com. More info.
"The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
Stupid spammers
almost as bad as
stupid american company
reminds me of those windows error message haikus here
Oh god, that woman is John Romero!
Damn, you guys are 'tards.
Learn to write proper haiku.
(I could teach my dog.)
- A.P.
"Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
slashdot editors
do not correct spelling or
grammar or much else
Originally submitted without checking the preview. Oh the irony.
light said to time once
can i pass, im late for lunch
time was not impressed
time said to light then
you can pass and kiss my ass
im stopping again
So--Habeas, Inc?
Fuckedcompany has no link.
Deadpool, here I come.
-(())
Haiku is much WORSE than Spam
Please stop the assault
BlackBolt
"We're letting you separate the wheat from the chafe," Mitchell said.
Separate the wheat.
But from the "chafe"? I think not.
Wheat in your jockstrap?
spam creates much hate yet greed keeps the spam flowing the vicious circle
- tristan
Spam will always flow,
from the butts of dumb assholes.
No haiku will work.
Why not just copy right your own email address and sue who you want?
Operator, give me the number for 911!
Old man seeks doctor
"I eat Spam daily", he says.
Angioplasty
Vogon poetry
Stopping spammers easily
Sue their asses now
wishes for new Haiku posts
a clever trolls dream
However such posts
make for technical chatter
an uncertainty
for what spin does a
poetic quantum qubit
return when observed
"They do not preach that their god will rouse them, a little before the Nuts work loose." Kipling, 'The Sons of Martha'
My love of haiku
Was small as a cicada
And then got smaller.
--Mr. Blue
SO YOU'RE GOING TO DIE: The Comic for Dealing with Death
Displaying limited brains
May be quoted thus:
Habeas in fact
means "let us have" and no more
and not "evidence"
They are thinking of
"writ of habeas corpus"
"Let's have the body"
Nitpick mode now off
Let those who frequent this board
Now resume to speak.
"The best argument against democracy is a five minute chat with the average voter."
--Winston Churchill
Not all spam is bad: Get your porn degree while you Lose weight and stop debt!
--Look behind you.
Penny A Message
Charging Fee For Each E-Mail
Like Early CompuServe
Seriously, though, it going to come down to having to start charging "postage" for e-mail to deter freeloading abusers. While CS's old "dime-a-message" may be too draconian, most spammers will give up if they actually have to pay to send messages.
BTW, most of the poems here aren't haiku, since they don't invoke nature imagery. I forget the correct term for the generic "5-7-5" form, however.
Those who complain about affect & effect on
I hate you Haiku,
You are very hard to do,
And five, seven, five?
-- I'd say your post was about 3 monkeys, 18 minutes.
Your penis can grow your domain is taken unsubscribe here opens new window(s) i know, i don't know how to Haiku. but seriously. this is just about as dumb as requiering all your contacts to use a code word in the subject. I can just see myself asking the realestate agent sending me a list of available buildings if he's any good at poetry ......
Why are other peoples sig's always more witty ???
Trust no CEO
Venture capital sees spam
A proven model
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Why not just copy
right your own email address
and sue who you want?
Operator, give me the number for 911!
You spelling nazis
Should hit the "Preview" button
Lest you seem foolish.
spam baked beans and spam
that ain't got much spam in it
but I don't like spam
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?
Im sorry to say But you know that it is true All these posts; crap Haiku at least mine rhymed. Reading these Haiku posts are like judging farts. They all stink, but some are still funny.
viagra, hot teens
and mortgage brokers will know
how to beat this thing
Take license to send
email to people I know?
Now, matters are worse.
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
It seems to me like the only copyright you would violate is the company behind Habeas?
So, lets say the system works and you are able to catch and prosecute the violators for a cash judgement:
1. You report the spam/haiku copyright thing.
2. You report the offense.
3. Habeas sues them and gets $$$ (you don't get a dime)
Its just another lousy business plan.
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian
hot grits in my pants
naked, petrified actress
natalie Portman!
I am so stupid. Had to go Google, word Haiku. Too many results.
Ah ... The original, and still the best!
--
What short sigs we have -
One hundred and twenty chars!
Too short for haiku.
Perhaps this isn't the right way to go at all. The spam problem will effectively go away if people would adopt secure email. That is, if everyone would digitally sign their email and the certification authorities were somehow trusted enough to not hand out false credentials. Then, it becomes a simple case of ignoring all unsigned / unauthenticatated email. Businesses could still spam, but you'd know it was commercial in nature and better yet, who was responsible.
Imagine that? Accountability in email. How novel.
I think a proprietary scheme that relies on court enforcement is just going to be a losing proposition in the long run.
Wired has more details
Their story appeared today
It can be found here.
challenge issued
slowing mindless trolls within
but have too much time
haiku to fight spam
why not use spam assassin
i hear it's very good
mstyne: real name, no gimmicks
read the article
mystery revealed to you
poem placed in header
Who said Freedom was Fair?
shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock-
sucker, motherfucker, tits,
fart, turd and twat. TROLL.
Clad in metal, proud
No mere salt-curing for you
You are not bacon
Its amazing what you find when you do a search this is an entire site devoted to Haiku's about SPAM http://pemtropics.mit.edu/~jcho/spam/
take a beowolf cluster
cowboyneal loves cowboyneal
microsoft evil
A favorite piece
Well written by another
Herein rings quite true:
Negative one, Troll
It is a badge of honor
Worn on my penis.
CEE5210S The signal SIGHUP was received.
I really hate Spam
Smells bad, tastes bad, gives heartburn
How do they make it?
Is this any different than copyrighting my e-mail address?
.COM craze?
Is this any different than copyrighting the expression "Hey Wowbagger, Open Says Me!" and requiring anybody who sends me an email to send that as part of the mail (along with the trademark)?
In short, what is this company's business model? How do they plan on making money on this idea? Or is this just a late entry into the
www.eFax.com are spammers
MAIL!I GOT MAIL! I GOT MAIL!
I GOT MAIL! YaaaaaaaaaaaY!!!! YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaY!!!
Do you got mail?
Poor VA Linux
On the verge of bankruptcy
Bye-bye to Slashdot!
Graham's Plan for Spam
Bayesian Algorithm
To unsubscribe from this mailing list, simply compose a Shakespearean sonnet!
just make a filter that denys ALL email unless the sender is in your address book...
Haiku poems are Japanese, not Chinese; shows what you know, Slashdot.
There is no sig, there is only Zuul.
Toner cartridges
Enlarge your breasts or penis
Click here to remove
CEE5210S The signal SIGHUP was received.
what worries me most:
what when it's the new standard?
must pay to send mail
From the article:
Habeas system
Subverted by big spammers
Who pay to use it
What do you mean they cut the power? How can they cut the power, man? They're animals!
but how about some
frequency based filtering
like that other post
haiku signatures
would be to easy to fake
for this to be good
"ph34r my 1337 n3kk1d ski11z!" - largo of megatokyo
Welcome to Slashdot
Lameness filter encountered
Taco Likes Young Boys
There was a story on Yahoo /.ers jived,
About filtering spam with Haiku.
So in five-seven-five,
All the
But I thought I should try something new!
Good judgment comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgment.
Within 15 minutes over 120 comments, most of them being attemps at Haiku. I guess every technically inclined geek here thinks he/she has some other talents as well.
Well, i sure for one have no talents in this area.
Can we have a top 25 funniest / good / artistic Haiku's in the end ???
Why are other peoples sig's always more witty ???
Stupid formatting. Should have been:
Haiku poems are
Japanese, not Chinese; shows
what you know, Slashdot.
There is no sig, there is only Zuul.
- Have to register with this company which I have every suspicion will be gobbled up by M$ eventually or
- Create a different copyrighted digital watermark and all mailers will have to be able to identify all others watermarks, which will certainly start battles over which marks are better than others or
- A standard watermark becomes "open source" at which point the whole thing becomes almost unenforceable again.
IANAL, but did I miss something here?A ball of methane
Distends my large intestine
I'm going to fart.
A cure for most spam
need not be all that complex:
Firewall Red China
Reply to your spam
telling of Falun Gong ties
and fresh arms shipments
CEE5210S The signal SIGHUP was received.
too soon this story
will have more pointless comments
than any other
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
Much sadness abounds
My Email, he didn't go
Stopped because I used too many syllables in the last line.
Oops.
Jouster
When Line shatter
only you use
this not haiku
but format of text
Effective filters
Steal the light out of my day
Weep, I, for lost pr0n
aitch tee tee pee coln
slash slash slash dot dot org slash
wait and see slash run
one two three four five
once I caught a fish alive...
more syllables please
one three five seven
nought two four six eight ten twelve
some other sequence
one hundred twenty
characters for a dot sig
is not enough space
So much to do, so little bandwidth.
--
Try Mozilla
Like blossoms need bees
We need a moderation -
"Elegant Haiku"
|>
Here be Dragons
Can you imagine
haiku beowulf cluster
it had to be said
This is so stupid
and a complete waste of time.
Yet, we'll all do it.
Increase penis size
Pyramid scam all aboard
Do you buy viagra ?
-Linux is SO fast it does an infinite loop in 5 seconds.
Individuals and Internet service providers can license and use the mark for free, while businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it.
Great, so now my inbox gets filled with spam, but from companies that are paying Habeas to do so. I'll have to add the domains of those who purchase licenses to my filters... wait, isn't that what I'm doing now?
Sure, sue spammers for trademark infringement, copyright violations. Yes, since the RIAA, MPAA, and Microsoft are having so much success stamping out piracy in China, I'm sure this new scheme is going to stop the spammers cold! In fact let me call my broker so I can buy some Habeas stock!
-- If god wanted me to have a sig, he'd have given me a sense of humor.
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
I hate Haiku
Make Money Fast and
Enlarge Your Penis Size and
Consolidate Debt
Hokey statistics and ancient misconceptions are no match for a good thought in your head, kid!
Why not just copyright your email address? To use it, senders have to agree to licensing terms that prohibit spam, spoofing, whatever else you want to prevent.
Spam delenda est.
Omni haiku divisi
sunt in partes tres.
i will not read spam
perhaps send it to Norway
all Vikings love spam
(Bloody Vikings!)
since spam's the topic
see thespamletters.com
they're fucking funny
Haiku is Japanese .
"Challenge," in English,
is spelled with one "A," two "E"s.
Run a spell-checker.
That was cool huh huh.
that frog we killed huh huh.
It won't croak again.
How ya like dat?
Like bodysnatchers,
Spam has crept into our lives
It will win, I think.
The mad scientist,
in the lab toils to create
square pigs for Hormel.
Spam, it does not reap,
neither doth it sow, I think,
it cunningly waits.
When left with the rest,
A wise man chose to call it
Spam: Sow Parts And Meat.
Glist'ning, shiny block,
too horrible to think from
where you came and how.
You must look at Spam
that does not correspond to
the knitting machine.
Spark'ling Spam that zaps
when eaten or dropped from high
drank from the charge pond.
Unlike the Eggy,
Spam not only 'can tongue', it
is canned tongue in steel.
Deep within the heart
of swine there cries out a voice
"Spam, my destiny."
Saw a therapist-
He made me wallow in Spam.
He was The Rapist.
Ran out of dead cows
to loft at the seiged city.
Used Spam, rest all died.
Ship loaded with Spam
runs aground on the dark reef.
Oil slick and fish kill.
Greasy loaf, digest.
Leave me better than you found-
Clog not arteries.
Truncated blue can,
how can you contain such vile
and slimy pig guts?
Who hast made thee, Spam?
Pink, glutinous, porcine parts
there in gelled repose.
Chopped and fried, layered
among other things pig-like,
surely a man's feast.
The Spam maps Pam's amps
hoping to find a way to
avoid the hot pan.
Spam spilled in the street,
greasy and slick from the can,
a twelve car pileup.
Faint whiff of the sea,
Greasy scent of things porcine,
I must open it.
Missles fly, "Nuke War!"
All is still, the earth cools down,
Roaches feast on Spam.
Sliced for sandwich,
formed as loaf, chopped for salad,
my Spam does not judge.
Once thought unclean, now
all pigs strive for a higher
plane of being - Spam.
By T. Goodfellow:
Conjugating Spam
spamo, spamas, spamatus
Boy I hate Latin.
Spam in my stocking
on December 25th
I was bad this year
50% off
an after-Christmas Spam sale
plenty to pick from
If Spam were outlawed
only outlaws would carry
guns made of pig meat
While on a cruise ship
"Spam overboard!" came the yell
No one seemed to care
Ma pig, to her son,
If you don't make something of
yourself, Hormel will.
I like Spam, I do
but I'd never admit it
to someone like you
Locked out of the house
on the doorstep shivering
Spam waits for its master
DaVinci drawing
to British scholars reveals
early Spam concepts
re-inventing Spam
I suggest we use soy beans
vegetarian
Like chicken and egg
does the can shape the Spam, or
does Spam shape the can?
Summer '59,
The rains came early, then dry
A great Spam vintage.
Sooner or later
zero or more cans of Spam
not pleasing itself
only Hormel can
make the manslaughter of pigs
Man's laughter of Spam
Hogs, none the wiser
board the bus to nirvana
destination: Spam
A pallet of Spam
could it be any worse than
Spam on the palette
Secret document
stolen by Chinese agents
Spam powered rockets
Proper etiquette
demands that Spam eaters
conceal agony
Attorneys or Spam
The only difference is
in the packaging
If Spam grew on trees
Newton's law calculations
would have been greasy
In a Spam glacier
a fully preserved mammoth
What a way to go
Tunneling inward
the electron microscope
atomic pig parts
pigs, each year with hope
in vain searching yellow pages
still no Spam heading
the stock broker
stuffing his porkfolio
going long on Spam
Anticipation
Spam in a ketchup bottle
s l o w l y s l i d i n g out.
Boy scout winter camp
Spam unevenly heated
half frozen; half burnt
Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
Properly, 'Haiku'
Concerns weather or seasons
When will people learn?
So they will still sell to build e-mailers? In otherwords... spammers?
--Won't that be grand? Computers and the programs will start thinking and the people will stop. - Dr. Walter Gibbs
Clever filter trick
Getting spammed no more
Read email in peace
Thats way too funny
please mod the parent post up
correct format please
www.slightlycrewed.com - Because aren't we all?
cool hardware review
i want to see the webpage
damn, its slashdotted
thelikesofwhich.com
but it seems to me the business model revolves around launching lawsuits against spammers.
how can a company sue everyone who sends unacceptable e-mail and stay in business? bribi^H^H^H swaying judges isnt cheap. Do they rely on judgements to stay afloat? Just because you win a default judgement against some chinese kid 1000 miles away doesn't mean you get paid.
ok tired south park joke, i lie
1) copyright haiku
2) sue everyone
3) ?
4) profit?
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
American laws
are no good when spam comes from
outside our country
SL33ZE - Artificial Intelligence is No Match For Natural Stupidity -
From Nigeria
Someone owes you millions
too good to be true!
SlashDot article
Hyperlinks call to me but
afraid of GoatSex
Dear hated spammer,
You vandalise my hotmail.
Die with spike up ass!
SlashDot educates,
I thought Haiku Japanese,
Now I know better.
The gift of death metal does not smile on the good looking.
Picking nits Is Most Uncool And besides Haiku that is not
SpamAssassin RULES
Assassin rules filter well
Spam dies quietly
Spam breaks my server
unsolicited etrash
springs forth from the web
Stupid Humans.....
Didn't anyone notice this from the article?
Individuals and Internet service providers can license and use the mark for free, while businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it.
So, if you want to spam, just throw some money at these guys and they'll allow you to use their mark.
Wonderful.
Five-seven-and-five
Aren't nearly enough words
To explain oneself.
The Habeas mark contains a three-line haiku protected by copyright law. Six other lines contain the copyright and trademark notices and other trademark protected information.... If senders fail to meet the criteria, they could be sued for trademark and copyright infringement, Mitchell said.
Basically, they're using copyright law to replace a non-existant spam law. If your header contains their copyrighted haiku, then you're not sending spam and you're allowed through. If you use the haiku header and you're still spam, you're violating their rules and are sued for copyright infringement.
Cute strategy, especially the part where they piggyback on the geek affection for gratuitous haiku, but it's built upon the (frankly) naive idea that their subscribers can get everyone they want to get email from to play along. It basically turns your entire flow of email into an "opt-in" list. It's nice that you can sue spammers with forged headers for copyright infringement, but that's not what's going to happen; what will happen is you'll get a "unknown sender" folder chock-full of spam and a few useful e-mails from people who don't know or don't care how to use the haiku header, and you'll still have to sort through it by hand every day.
The spammers won't need to forge their headers, unless (somehow) this tactic gets adopted by the entire Internet, including Yahoo, Hotmail and AOL. The inconvenience will be great enough that no one will want to play along anyway.
My soul given voice.
I count syllables and lo,
I am a poet.
For reasons unclear, she remained unimpressed.
After I finished my Computer and Systems Logic final exam I wrote a short Haiku (isn't that redundent) on the back
:)
So Now I Am Done
With Nothing To Do
Except To Write A Haiku
(I think I finished with a 4 in that course
I stole this Sig
The are lots of spammers in China,
Who mine e-mail addys to find ya'.
But Taco buys spam
(that comes in a can)
To cram in his gaping mangina.
Haiku!
Gesundheit!
SL33ZE - Artificial Intelligence is No Match For Natural Stupidity -
Do you remember,
that time when we killed that frog,
it won't croak again.
Dumb idea, won't work.
Bayesian analysis
just might.
spam comes from china
haiku heralds from japan
you missed the point
And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
550 spammer
trying to mail my user
fuck you, it's summer
Click-through Haiku
you must comply to
this copyright agreement
I agree || Cancel
Those proven techniques
to enlarge my genitals
no longer arrive.
(I hope)
Diplomas make your wife come!
And reduce your debt.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
Hear the spammer cry Watch him twist and writhe in pain Roasting on a spit
if government won't stop spam
how can you trust your email to a
copyright vigilante
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
I challenge the editors of Slashdot to quit posting crap like this. There is more going on in the world of SPAM prevention than the stupidity of adding Haikus to e-mail messages (great waste of bandwidth).
Maybe it passed by the editor's eyes that Apple has registered the trademark 'Junkyard' and has installed "sophisticated built-in junk mail filtering" into Mac OS X 10.2. Rumor is that Apple will be adding junk mail filtering software in their Mac OS X Server OS. Junkyard is the product name for this technology that is going to be added/tagged on to Mac OS X Server's version of Sendmail. If it is like Rendezvous, it will be open source and available to the Open Source Community.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
spam like summer wind
fluid moving unstoppable
inbox will blossom
blog |
Picked my nose instead
of going to a college.
Now I send out spam.
So am I to understand that this system depends on actual spammers respecting trademarks and copyrights, so that only the "good" mass mailers mark their mail this way? If this thing gets any traction, spammers will begin marking their spew just like Habeas does, and Habeas will go out of business trying to sue East Asia. Yeah. Right.
Edith Keeler Must Die
spam is bad to read
time for it to fall and die
Bayes theory is key
Incidentally here are some rules for haiku, they really should have a nature reference if they are truly haiku, its another form of poetry if there isn't a nature reference.
Degaussing scares the bad magnetism out of the monitor and fills it with good karma.
(My apologies for this not being posted in Haiku form.)
Karma: NaN
1 Recipient,
Pre-Existing Relation-
ship, et cetera
Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
how come when chinese
put up wall mongolians
try to knock it down
Ha! I bet in Perl you could write it in eight.
[PowerPoint] is a tool for capitalist presentation
circumvent poem
you have just violated
the DMCA
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
What is a Haiku?
The post did not specify.
How do I write one?
Haiku perfect when structure is more important than message content
Sleep is for the Weak
What a dumb idea
I don't believe it will work
SpamAssassin does
Sig
Appended to the end of comments you post. 120 chars
that spamassassin
is all too keen on murder
kills spam and non-spam
VKh
"California" firmy CorpNumber=C2461936
Fighting for honest email
Based in Delaware
http://kepler.ss.ca.gov/corpdata/ShowAllList?Quer
haiku! god bless you
seventeen syllables is
nothing to sneeze at
Fall like leaves from the tree that
is the Internet.
Under their weight the
Rock shatters and river halts
Slashdotting like spam?
when it comes to you
push one button to remove
then proceed with life
http://tinyurl.com/3t236
Address Book filters
Are just about as useful.
What am I missing?
ohayo ac
anata wa baka desu
arigatou gozaimasu!
graspee
PS- not sure with "desu" etc if the "u" counts, since it is written but not pronounced. Well, not pronounced in Tokyo anyway...
It is a bankrupt spammer technique.
SPAMMER X copies Haiku. SPAMMER X sends out 1 million copies of Haiku. Spammer has not violated copyright law 1 million times for a commercial purpose. It not only opens spammer up to attorney statutory damages and attorney fees on the copyright violations. This also becomes a way to "access" your in-box, so now the spammer is committing a computer crime to send you spam.
Fight Spammers!
The argument for this laughable attempt is that Spam can't be controlled by making it illegal because spammers won't follow the law knowing that it's too difficult to enforce when they keep moving around and don't identify themselves.
So the proposed solution is "Pay us money to include our poem, and then other people who know our poem will recognise your 'secret handshake' and let your message in the door"
"If anyone not paying trys to use our poem we will use the Law to sue them!"
The only real diference here is that it would be a private company enforcing policy with a profit motive instead of the Gov being expected to do it just becuase it's written.
Honestly I think this sort of thing has a chance of making Spam more expensive to the point of putting some of them out of business. But it's crazy to think that we have to take a virtually free system of communication and turn it into a "Corporate Branded" medium where it's only reliable when you have paid your "Protection" to let the recipient know you are OK.
Spam sucks, and I am all for methods that work to stop it. But further encumbering the mail I want to send with yet another step is not a solution, it's a tax.
I did it because it was the valiant and courageous thing to do. And I was bored.
So business and "bulk e-mail" companies can use the system. Clarify, please, how this actually stops spam if the very organizations it's designed to stop can get in on it.
http://www.headlinehaikus.com/
OK, so it's lunch time:
Unsolicited
Bulk and commercial email
The wasp is silent.
And yes, I over-ran by 2 in my last line due to my enthusiasm for doing it in Japanese. Suggestions for the last line are welcome.
graspee
Haikus are freedom
Applying a copyright
Defeats the purpose
Linux rules the world.
Microsoft is the devil.
There goes my kharma.
My penis is small
Moderate I do
Awful Comments in Haiku
So be sly, Thank you
100% Insightful
using your haiku
my email has become your
derivative work
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
Spam causes me pain
And although I try in vain
The torrent goes on
And when I say spam
I do not mean the tinned ham
But the email ad's
If the spam should stop
Privacy would resume top
Importance again
i hate poetry!
If good things come to those who wait...why work now? Procrastinate!
a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q
[PowerPoint] is a tool for capitalist presentation
Here is what some of the spam I get would look liek in Haiku:
Your penis is small
We help to make it bigger
Your girl is happy
I am your good friend
Here is business proposal
I want all your cash
I think I know you
You come visit my website
You see me naked
crisp October waves
around my heels and rising
dry leaves cover buds
**>>BELCH
Mideast Irony
Women covered high and low
Camels?Yes.Toe?No.
What? Main screen turn on.
All your base are belong to
us, for great justice.
And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
this mail is not spam
it was sent to you because
you requested it
-ShelbyCobra
Living life in the right side of the s-plane
Copyright haikus? So is my door really locked if all have a key?
SPAM annoy the geeks! The only email geeks get! Why don't they like it?
net is full of spam one way to stop the spammer quick swift painless death
I have to change that, because the 'buds' imply Spring, clashing with the clearly-stated October in the first line...
crisp October waves
around my heels and rising
dry leaves cover grass
Mata ne!
**>>BELCH
Ah, but what about
Beowulf clusters of these?
Karma sinks like stone.
I was in Beijing last month, and saw perfect knock-offs of American haikus selling for $0.25 apiece on every street corner. They came in authentic-looking boxes that even had the little foil hologram stickers on them. In most of asia, copyrights are worthless. Especially if they stand in the way of somebody else making a quick profit.
Remember that awful incident in the US midwest several years ago where a lost Japanese guy knocked on somebody's door and was shot and killed by a idiot redneck xenophobe? Well I've taught my firewall and email filter to duplicate that behavior in regard to traffic from ".jp", ".cn", ".kr", and ".tw". Problem solved.
To summarize, here's my haiku:
Can't stop asian spam
Copyright haikus are dumb
Just block their IP's
Slashdot: come for the pedantry, stay for the condescension.
In related news, Microsoft Trustworthy Computing will now require epic poems to be added to all mail headers, to force spammers in China to upgrade from pirated, less innovative, copies of Windows. IBM and Intel claim patent rights and submit this to W3C under Reasonable And NonDiscriminatory licensing terms.
Spent all my mod points
Next story, haiku challenge
Taco is so cruel
"Consider yourself a member of a virtual corporation with Mr. Torvalds as your Chief Executive Officer." - Linux Advocac
My favorite haiku site:
http://www.smalltime.com/haiku/ (I particularly love the "Scrambled Haiku")
This site will give you,
Haiku served up randomly,
It is lots of fun.
________________________________________________
suwain_2
all your bases are
belong to us - hackers/geeks
haiku will stop spam
obligatory poetry:
no false positives
plus many false negatives
equals bad idea
Habeas won't fly, the idea of no false positives (other than spammers willing to "risk" copyright infringement) is a good idea. The bad idea though is the binary classification of "messages that we're fairly certain are not spam" and "messages that are probably spam, but could also be that follow-up from the former Nigerian minister of information that you've been waiting for so that you can help out a trusted friend who needs a contact in the United States for a lucrative monetary transaction" . . . wait, maybe that's a bad example.
shouldn't people use
fark dot com for silly games
like this sort of thing
Hello boys and girls
There are only five days left
'Til Yak Shaving Day!
Hey kids, there's only 5 days left 'til Yak Shaving Day!
I challange comment posters to post only Haiku in this discussion
I "challange" Slashdot editors to post only proper spelling on this web site.
"Wow, you're like some kind of superhero able to ward off happiness and success at every turn."
-- Ryan Stiles
So how about the following twist: It should be made illegal by law to send spam to any email address containing the phrase 'nospam'. As simple as that. People that are annoyed by spam can get a 'nospam' address; people that actually like to receive spam (if there are any) can stick to a regular address. Of course after a while everybody would have addresses like me@nospam.myprovider.com, but who cares (except for the spammers)?
Alternatively, one could make it illegal to send spam to any address not containing the string 'ilikespam'. But while I would personally favor this solution, it would probably be harder to pass.
The only way we will ever stop spam is if ISP's work together to perfect open source spam blocking software and share blacklists.
"Individuals and Internet service providers can license and use the mark for free, while businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it. "
1. Provide filtering service.
2. ??
3. Profit!
Begin to write poetry
Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble
What do you get: PROFIT!
ID-10-T is a way of life
Kaiku, bane of spam?
This tactic is doomed to fail,
A dumb idea
The ninja,
Stalking prey alone,
Broken toe.
Pictures of children
To my family complete
Fourteen emails
the sender has verified permission from each recipient;
More photos to send
to whom shall I send them all?
Grandma has said no
the sender and each recipient share a pre-existing professional relationship;
Grandma accepts now
My photos pass the filter
Grandma runs an isp
each recipient is a friend or family member of the sender and the e-mail is not commercial.
pic of baby Zo
she is holding can of Coke
product endorsement?
managers...why god invented purgatory
challenge of the haiku
cannot stop the slashdot trolls
from posting their crap
F.O. Dobbs
But, if this is advertised as a way to block spam, they are opening themselfs up for a breach of contract claim.
Grasshopper, no spammer can completely hide their tracks. You go after the customer of the spammer -- follow the money.
Fight Spammers!
SKY have just won the rights to screen the World Origami Championships from Tokyo.
Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View.
(sorry, it's a slow day)
spam is annoying
but can this magic haiku
stop the snakehead fish
"Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." -Homer Simpson
See the story here. I'm guessing that their plans fell through.
A goofy idea,
forged out of desperation,
blocking true answer.
This is my troll Shakespearean sonnet.
Boldly here I break the haiku rule.
Karma; excellent; I have to waste upon it.
So let good flames, this writ here fuel.
A haiku's beauty is surely found
In crystallizing; beautiful, an essence.
In reducing an experience to the profound
Surely this ignores Spam's putrescence.
Entropic mass, with nothing there discreet:
Is such that comprises Spam's nature
For whether the missive or the meat,
It surely defies any essence of character.
For be well warned o ye who would haiku,
and look for this poem in my messages to you.
Haikus won't stop spam
no more than ISPs will
stop RIAA
Brian
Like Digital Freedoms? Then donate to EFF before they're gone.
Excerpt from the news article:
-----
Individuals and Internet service providers canlicense and use the mark for free, while
businesses and *bulk*e-mail*companies* will pay to use it.
-----
So they're probably not as innocent as they try to appear.
Only Basho knows
and you and I and the winds
of time...oh! Slashdot! ah! youth!
Haiku being Japanese
Chinese must learn second-hand.
t_t_b
I'm on PJ's "enemies" list! Are you?
Dark room, dead server
One more try. Green joy, It boots.
Later, her soft long hands
I think the fun part about haiku is the first time you get the impression of space at the end, the little jolt of realization when you get it.
Wish I could do it better.
To mail me, remove the 'mailno' from my email addy.
"Yeah. It smells, too..."
I don't really get the haiku.
Why do so many think it is so cool?
English isnt alive,
In 5-7-5.
So instead try it in limerick-fu.
Thank you, Slashdot, for completely pissing off pretty much every reader with any amount of Japanese heritage. The haiku is a Japanese art form, not Chinese. Maybe you should have checked with the folks at Slashdot.jp before posting such a stupid, blatant error.
When I see your face
Emotion floods over me
Wait, I mean lotion.
That night we kissed,
I couldn't get over it
You gave me mono.
I hunger for you
Only you satisfy me
Make me some dinner.
You are like a dream
In the morning, I awake
And I forget you.
Your love was a gift
A fine, cherished present, you
Indian Giver!!!
(I wish I could claim to have written these. One of my old roommates came up with several pages of "Love Haikus".)
It's a neat idea,
Instead of relying on 'SPAM' laws (I believe they are a waste of time), hunt spammers under regular laws (in this idea, copyright law).
It would be interesting if one could come up with a way to post a virtual 'NO JUNK MAIL' sign on one's mail address...
Just a small note to the original poster regarding his witty comment about spammers in China...
Spammers tend to be citizens of western countries for sure. They just exploit mis-configured, open Chinese, Korean, Indian and so on mailservers that allow one to freely relay messages through them. How would a random Chinese kid TRYING TO MAKE MONEY FAST by offering you life with 89% LESS BODY FAT and 48% LARGER PENIS FOR FREE know or care that minority of his target audience can potentially be fooled by marketing these things that match with values so important to most/many spoiled American/Western Europe people but that make no sense to his neighbours? Nope, it comes from inside, we (who have the privilege to live in welfare states, I'm from Finland by the way) shouldn't blame no-one but ourselves for this.
Go check Google with words like "spam chinese relay" and you'll get loads of matches like this which furher explains the problem.
I send you this file
in order to have advice.
See you later, thanks.
* Q
P.S. If you don't get this note, let me know and I'll write you another.
Haiku is about nature
Traditionally
-B
Ash and Hickory, straight-grained and true, make excellent bludgeons, dandy for the cudgeling of vegetarians.
i had the chicken
it tasted like something else
that tastes like chicken
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
Stephen King found dead
in his house today. Tragic
death at fifty-five.
Error: Your comment has too few characters per line
:-(
(so how am i suppossed to post a #$%#$% haiku!?!?)
= Error Haiku =
A Japanese academic, Kanta Matsuura, in the Economics Faculty reports:
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft
error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry, each only 17
syllables, 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in
the third.
Your file so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
Error: Your comment has too few characters per line
--The Web site you seek; Cannot be located but; Countless more exist.
--Chaos reigns within; Reflect, repent, and reboot; Order shall return.
how to post haiku, and get it past the slashdot 'lameness filter'?
too few characters per line? but that's the way it is?
slashdot lameness filter killing three-line haiku - bah!
--ABORTED effort; Close all that you have worked on; You ask far too much.
--Windows NT crashed; I am the Blue Screen of Death; No one hears your screams.
Error: Your comment has too few ch3ar4acters per lineError: quickview comment has too few character42s per line...
--Yesterday it worked; Today it is not working; Windows is like that.
E2rror: Your comment has slashdot few24 characters per line - arrgh!
--First snow, then silence; This thousand dollar screen dies; So beautifully.
Error: Your comment9 has too few characters p5er line3 Error: Your4 comment ha8s too few2 characters per3 l2ine Error: Your comment9 ha3s too few characters per22 lin2e
--With searching comes loss;; And the presence of absence; "My Novel" not found.
Error: Your comment has too few characters per lineError: Your comment has too few characters per lineErr... aaarrrhhh!
--The Tao that is seen; Is not the true Tao-until; You bring fresh toner.
--Stay the patient course; Of little worth is your ire; The network is down.
--A crash reduces; Your expensive computer; To a simple stone.
-- Three things are certain; Death, taxes, and lost data; Guess which has occurred.
--You step in the stream; But the water has moved on; This page is not here.
Error: Your comment has too few characters per line -- @#%@$% slashdot...
--Out of memory; We wish to hold the whole sky; But we never will.
--The document you're seeking; Having been erased; Must now be retyped.
--Serious error; All shortcuts have disappeared; Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
Error: Your co1mment has3 too fred george per lin6eError: Your comment has too few characters per lineEr2ror: Your comment has tooh few characters per lineError: Your comment has too few characte5rs per lineError: Your comment has too few charact6ers per lineErr6r: Your comment has 5tooh few characters per line Error: Your comment has too few ugabuga the slashdot jungle p4er lineError: Your comment has too few characters per lineError: Your comment has too few charactcers per lineError: Your co7mment has too few c4haracters per lineError: Your comment has too few character8s per lineError: Your comment has too few c8haracters per lineError: Your comment has too few characters per lineError: Your comment has too few characters per line --
-- slashdot lameness filter is haiku-hostile.
regards - johnrpenner
the first line has five
the second line has seven
the last line has five
Murphy was an optimist.
processed sow in lard!!!
inbox filled with fake pig parts!!!
my blood boils with wrath!!!!
and a cleansing scream for good measure: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Note: I found it more amusing before the "Lamenes Filter" forced me to remove my all caps from the haiku...damn anti-satire filters. What happened to free speech...let the anti-socials yell, damnit. =)
(No, I didn't write this, but I thought it was worth using here. Original author unknown.)â
== Paul Rickard, Editor of The Microsoft Boycott Campaign ====
I got another for your list:
Do you have one of the shittiest sigs on slashdot?
Hmm..
... and now she is mother superior
At least Limericks works well in other langages than English. Danish is an example.
Of course you can't translate an english limerick to Danish and preserve the rythm, so none of the limericks I know are multi-lingual.
But...
There was a monk from siberia
Who's maners were rather inferior
He had done to a nun
What none should have done
All the danish limericks I know would probably be illegal in several states in the US... so I'll leave them to you imagination... but the have the same rythm.
So Haiku should be possible in other languages.. at least those close to japanese
if i write one more
meaningless poem, they just might
mod me off topic
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
In spring of two thousand two.
I'll forget it soon.
Heh.
Need a Linux consultant in New Orleans?
the quality of
the posts on slashdot started
to get lower
surely they
already knew haiku
it's not chinese
surely they
knew that challange
it is not a word
yet they managed
to screw in front of millions
one more time
ah, please stop me now.
Bad Moderator!
For this story, all haiku
Must be modded up!
Haiku vs spam ? Sounds very interesting. Like watching paint dry.
Are` daijobu ka?
..
Nihongo Haiku desu yo!
nihon arimasu.
Are you feeling well?
this is japanese haiku!
its has japanese.
hows THAT mr. smarty pants
still not traditional though *grumble*
--Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum, non erravi pernicose!
Brisk wind in my face
Chute won't open, holy crap
Pants are filled with poop
We aim but we miss
Slashdot readers try haiku
But make senryu
I'm sure the spammers in China will laugh wildly as they forge the haiku.
;)
That's the point, Taco.
Spammers who forge the haiku
will quickly get sued.
You may have heard it
called 'copyright infringement'
look it up next time.
Genocide Man -- Life is funny. Death is funnier. Mass murder can be hilarious.
penis enlargement
unsolicited email
just how did they know?
This story was picked up by Yahoo, off the Reuters news service.
In paragraph 3, they describe the system as a way to separate the "wheat from the chafe"??? Perhaps they mean chafF.
Am I the only one noticing that as spell checkers become "better and better" errors like this are becoming more common. Some dink runs it through the spell checker and nobody ever bothers to look at the content, as long as it's all spelled right, and with the proper grammar.
"Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." P.J. O'Rourke
Among all the haiku/senryu here, a couple of points from the article were missed.
1. You need to verify that "the e-mail is sent to only one recipient" to use the system. So I can't send a mail to my father and brother with this system's protection? (Ignoring the fact that the next 'promise' is "verified permission from each recipient" - each? It's only going to one person!)
2. "businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it" So it doesn't stop spam, it just helps someone else make money from it by making it more likely to get through to me. Perfect.
Me chinese poet
me play joke on american fool
but I say rike foor
Live web cams
I think what we need
is a stronger solution:
Public beheading.
Submission had rules for all comments submitted. They, I must defy.
Free unix account: freeshell.org
this is probably redundant, but I just finished the article and am too lazy to read the rest of the commentary;
""Commercial e-mailers who meet Habeas' strict definition of non-spam will be billed a penny per sent message for the warranting service, capped at $3,000 per month. The fee may seem steep for small-scale publishers and marketers, but some said it would be worth it to guarantee their product would actually arrive in subscribers' in-boxes."
But sounds like a service for charging for certain spam, and not allowing your competitors.
Walk with Music;
http://www.phenry.org/junkdrawer/haiku/index.html
...
"Since the Internet first extended its reach into the popular consciousness--and, truth be told, for quite a while before that--a plague has spread throughout the Internet community, propagating itself viruslike through the Web and into our e-mail boxes. Like the worst infections, it started out innocuously and became malignant so gradually that most of us have yet to realize how detrimental it truly is.
I refer, of course, to the joke haiku.
Like a hideous genetic mutation in a 1950s-era grade-B science fiction film, these seventeen-syllable poems have been borrowed from classical Japanese culture by well-meaning would-be humorists and distorted so completely from their original intended use that they threaten to permanently warp our capacity for humorous expression, if they are not stopped.
I therefore make this proposal to you, my fellow Internet enthusiasts: that as of right now, we agree to completely eliminate the production and propagation of joke haiku on the Internet. Don't write them, don't forward them to your friends, don't even acknowledge their existence. Only through concerted effort can we stamp out this menace completely.
I think that basically everyone here knows that haiku are a Japanese are, not Chinese. The bit about Chinese spammers forging the haiku have nothing to do with that.
China doesn't respect international copyright laws. That's one of the reasons it got its own region in the DVD region code scheme; piracy is both rampant and completely legal there.
That's why they would be the ones most likely to forge the haiku; it would be legal there.
Yeah, it's probably redundant, but I figured I might be able to use my bonus to bump it a bit higher...
(formated wierdly to evade lameness filter)
(don't do the mods' job -- stupid lameness filter -- Taco get a clue)
as already said, -- right here on this very thread, -- this little haiku:
"sometimes seventeen -- syllables ain't enough to -- express a complete"
'spite challenges, this -- article I've haikuized -- I hope you enjoy:
company fights spam -- with copyright and trademarks to -- by Elinor M.A.
from san fransisco -- by the reuters agency -- let the tale begin:
california corp -- said today it plans to fight -- email spam online
using copyright -- and U.S. trademark law too -- with a new system
in California -- Palo Alto actually -- is Habeas Inc
they have plan to let -- people differentiate -- 'tween email and spam
Habeas, a term -- used in legal procedings -- is latin in fact
unique their plan, for -- without laws forbidding spam -- spammers they can catch!
needed this plan is -- 'cause congress never will pass -- laws that ban all spam
due to the fact that -- spam is quite hard to define -- few laws can ban spam
Habeas system don't -- block spam, but makes it easy -- to take wheat from chaff
a haiku header -- to certify they ain't spam -- people do embed
this three line haiku -- protected by copyright -- and trademark law too
people who use it -- could for infringement be sued -- if they send some spam
anti-spam apps can -- to reduce false positives -- always let marks through
individuals -- can use the mark for free, but -- companies must pay
customers include -- Outblaze email service, and -- M$ WebTV
Tired of 5-7-5?
Make your haiku inches longer!
With new herbal cure.
Send me five dollars.
Add your name to this haiku.
Hit "send" and get rich.
As leaves change color,
E-mail marketers move in.
Bright forests of spam.
the corporate pigs,
they will sell it to spammers,
in the end its lame.
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
Post only Haikus? What a massive waste of time. Who thought of that one?
Random is the New Order.
Blue can of steel
What promise do you hold?
Salt flesh so ripe
Can of metal, slick
Soft center, so cool, moistening
I yearn for your salt
Twist, pull the sharp lid
Jerks and cuts me deeply but
Spam, aah, my poultice
Silent, former pig
One communal awareness
Myriad pink bricks
Clad in metal, proud
No mere salt-curing for you
You are not bacon
And who dares mock Spam?
You? you? you are not worthy
Of one rich pink fleck
Like some spongy rock
A granite, my piece of Spam
In sunlight on my plate
Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan
Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?
In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door
Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?
Ears, snouts and innards
A homogeneous mass
Pass another slice
Old man seeks doctor
"I eat Spam daily", he says.
Angioplasty
Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this "food"
A small pink coffin
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian
Subscribers can see articles in the future? So what? Everyone gets to see them in the future.
Chinese spam me much,
my mail is now useless.
time to smoke a joint.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
The subjunctive is a mood.
Go back to school, pal.
I say "Good idea!" But I have to wonder, though If the standard's free. Any one of us Both for fun and usefullness May write fine haiku. Haiku wo kakemasyou, minna!
"Get rid of your debts"! "University Degree"! Sounds US to me!
"Get rid of your debts"!
"University Degree"!
Sounds US to me!
nice girl likes me not,
sees asshole likes him instead,
for that she is lame.
Insulting posters
You feel superior, but
are less than the wind
(Excuse the English representation of Japanese)
He nari totte
ada to omou na
morobi to yo
bu-u to naritotte
hotoke nari keri
Translation(rough):
When you fart
do not feel embarrassed
when you go *poot*
you become like Budda
I tried every decent and legal way I could think of to resolve the issue w/the business before I rented the chicken suit
You're alive!!! And speaking in haiku! :)
Ten million pounds -
May we use your bank account
For large commission?
oh brave new world, that has such people in it!
Am I too late to
make a Beauwolf Cluster
comment to mod down
Server can't stop the spam
hiku is joke make me laugh hard
what about popups
I can just see the
hiku jumping out at me, damn
got the popups too
Linux is the worst
It can't do what Windows can
Linux hippies smell
Have sex on the beach,
Sand in vagina, not nice,
Sounds alot like spam.
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
Seventeen small stones
the boy flings at the giant
haiku can slay spam?
-Cass Whittington
Special humor game
I hope that you enjoy it
This is my first work
Not a bad idea
Must see it work in real life
Spammers are crafty
Habeas - "you have"
Latin's cold way of asking
"Where is the body?"
I am writing to you from a government agency in Nigeria. You were recommended to me as an excellent businessman. Please to offer your advice on my haiku
5 million bucks
Help
We need your western business knowledge
greedy fools you are
would auction own grandmother
on bloody eBay
in name of jesus
whom your honour so closely
resemble. thank you
All things in moderation; including moderation
haikus should contain
wind blowing, leaves falling
something about nature
spam unnatural
cut cows however you want
you will not find it
find the truth of it
syllables not everything
more to sky than stars
like yoda-isms on big
screen sorry movie?
"You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas"
Sen. Davy Crocket to US Congress, Nov. 1, 1835
I'm Mark Cantrell -- I don't have an account on Slashdot yet (never felt the need to filter or board troll) but I thought I'd mention this:
;) "
"I challange comment posters to post only Haiku in this discussion
That's Commander Taco speaking, not me. The italics should have ended before the I. ^^;
Just a slight typo in the HTML, I'm sure. Unless I was so tired that I added that to my submission at the end without remembering it, but I don't believe I did.
This won't work. The spammers will, of course, begin using your "copyrighted" haiku to send you email. You in turn will try to sue them for copyright infringement, at which point they will claim fair use. They will probably be entitled to fair use of your haiku becuase you are not a professional poet, and their use of the poem would not be detremental to your income. I like the way the state of Washington has dealt with this issue: if you can prove somebody sent you a spam, then you can sue them in small claims court for $500 dollars (for each piece of spam). I get 40-50 spam a day, that could be $20,000-25,000 per day, if I took the time to track them all down. :-)
Copyright haiku
as umbrella repells rain
foils spam spam spam spam.
The herd of wild boars
thundering through the forest
stopped dead by haiku.
Where the yangtze flows
copyright finds no respect
as RIAA well knows.
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. BB
Complicated crap:
No solution to canned meat.
--The Lumber Cartel
Hic iacet Arthurus, rex quondam rexque futurus.
"Let us?" Nay, "You may."
-as is subjunctive second
person singular.
Laevissimus tu!
If you can read this, thank a
Latin instructor.
:wq
This thread is awesome!
When in Haiku, everything
is more fun to read!
all your base are
belong to us, pour hot grits
for great justice
I get spam email
its everywhere. it doesn't
know that it is spam
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
Your message was here?
Perhaps, with a pile of spam,
I deleted it.
Where in the FAQ does it say everything on /. must be serious and important or it can't be posted? Many people have written funny haikus and its been an amusing read, thats all that matters. While your information about OS X 10.2 is imformative and spam related, don't preface it with your bitching and moaning to the editors, cause now your just a troll in my mind.
Moderation Totals: Flamebait=2, Troll=1, Redundant=1, Insightful=6, Overrated=1, Underrated=1, Total=12. (not mine)
Forged Header easy
Spammers do it all the time
What is to stop them?
-Ed
NEW! docbrown.net
Graphic Design, Web Design, Role-Playing Games...all the good stuff
Ed Wedig
Graphic design services
docbrown.net
story dot news dot yahoo dot com very slow the slashdot effect
Surprised that no one
has thus far not yet mentioned
the SPAM-KU archive
~N
I am starting a new sub-fad called "Lowku". Here is an example:
F*ck Spammers
F*ck Spammers
Spammers All Die Die Die!
Table-ized A.I.
To write a haiku
All you need is the correct
Number of syli...
To write a haiku - all you need is the correct - number of syli...
Is it spam or not?
Is the haiku in the text?
Either way, it's spam
Lemon curry?
waiting for data
like turtles sunning themselves
life slips away
Spam drifts like snowfall
Where is the mail from my friends?
Lost in the blizzard.
Your point has been made. Bob has already said that. His was better though.
"The best argument against democracy is a five minute chat with the average voter."
--Winston Churchill
Something like this. To ensure that the mail is from the originating domain how about something like this. Take the message and get the MD5 sum. Then try something like a reverse encryption. Where the encrypting key is private but the decrypting key is public. (Is this possible?)then decode it, match the MD5 sum and you can be sure that the mail itself is genuine. You could include this information in the header, therefore mail clients that do not support it would simply allow it. And those that did could take the public decrypt key from the header and the encrypted md5sum and validate the message contents.
Another idea would be how about just having the mail server itself digitally sign the messages as they are outgoing. The message could be signed using Thawte or Verisign etc. as a Genuine yourisp.com message. At least have msn, hotmail, and yahoo do this. That would get rid of a ton of spam! What gets me is why do I get so much hotmail spam with forged headers to my hotmail account. Isn't it obvious to the hotmail server that other domains can't send hotmail.com mail?
A Haiku is just like an American poem, except they don't rhyme, and they're totally stupid.
That's Bigboo TAY! TAY!
all my hopes are dashed
this fool has displayed my plan
no more sex for me
"Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that, it's called everyone, they meet at the bar."
Nature themed and everything (and with poor grammar since you people seem to care about that)
Y R U A B
B4 I C U I 8
O I 8 A B
I was gonna write another one, computer related, but...well...I didn't. Someone else can feel free to take up the challange. Some symbol characters may be useful, but I've already wasted enough of my life doing this.
I don't try to be right, I just try to make people think
I'll use some haiku against the RIAA and DMCA...
Check out our infosecurity industry blog: http://securitymusings.com/
Haiku will not save you.
Spam is cancer, always changed.
Its heart we must take.
I think with the interesting people, their lives can't possibly be wrapped up into a nice little package.
"If senders fail to meet the criteria, they could be sued for trademark and copyright infringement, Mitchell said."
And if someone supposedly in another country relays off your local elementary school's mail server they can also be sued.
If I put a disclaimer prohibiting spam on my SMTP server, I can also sue spammers.
This is just plain dumb. Just because someone can be sued for something doesn't mean that it will make a shred of difference.
"A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
Senders using the mark are verifying that the e-mail meets one of the following criteria: the e-mail is sent to only one recipient ...
How will the law differentiate between different emails sent to different people, and a message that is changed ever so slightly for each recipient? Then the copies would be in some sense each to one recipient.
You got my email
I promise it isn't spam
it's copyrighted
HAIKU - (high-coo)
uhhh, huh huh, we're gonna learn about getting high? Cool. huh huh huh.
How you gentlemen!!
All your base belong to us.
You know what you doing.
Need a Linux consultant in New Orleans?
I am not quite sure
This will do much good at all.
Please let me explain:
Personal use is free,
But they charge firms to use it.
Not all firms will pay.
Most folks will prefer
To get a thousand spam than
To lose one real mail.
If it's mail from firms
That's more likely to get lost
That is even worse:
Mail folk WANT from firms
Tends to be most important:
Reciepts, upgrades, on..
In the article
They said mail lacking haiku
Should not be destroyed;
Yet having the mail
Brought to your attention is
Yes/No, no degree.
Even if you store
Suspect mail apart from clean
In case real mail's lost,
To check for that loss
You must sort through all the spam
Which defies the point.
Also mentioned was
Countries which don't have these laws
Can spam just the same:
So how long before
They set up remailer bots
That add the haiku?
Even if the mail
Didn't come from China when
It was written first,
The 'criminal' act -
Adding haiku without leave -
will have happened there.
Spam filters should be
Based on what mail to turn down,
Not what to accept.
are you lonely guy
click here for the pheromones
women will go crazy
penis too little
buck up, gullible person
this lotion will help
tired of debt? rejoice!
now all your worries are gone
(we are a non-profit)
psssst! Remember me?
I'm naked hot and horny
click for all nude pics
www.avacal.com -- the home page of pete shaw
Spam stopper based on
copyright, SMTP
ignorance. Yeah, right.
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a skull.
Enlarge your penis!
This is a one-time mailing.
Click here to remove.
A Slashdot haiku:
All your beowulf cluster
are belong to us.
"For every right, an equal responsibility..."
GNU is for hippies
FreeBSD is dying
Score negative 1
The 2nd to last paragraph makes me lose hope of ever getting rid of spam.
businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it.
so this is really just a way for them to get in the loop and make some money off the spammers.
ROTTEN!
Cheap storage VM.
Ninety-nine bottles
of beer on the wall. Ninety-
nine bottles of beer.
Haiku to stop spam?
Oh! But what a dream this is!
Too bad it won't work.
Reading my mail
Checking for signal inside
see NO CARRIER
Waste time on Slashdot
Using extra brain power
To make bad poems
"Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
This filter does well
Until spammers turn critic
Hot Sluts and Fair Use
Rob Carlson
Normally verbose, Posters must distill their thoughts. More topics like this!
unix is sublime
windows is ridiculous
which way will you go?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
you cannot find them spammers are still shooting mail through open relays
include $sig;
1;
First Post not mine
For that AC I am not
Must keep karma high
Wouldn't you enjoy Receiving haikus about Penis enlargement? It's quite depressing That this first slashdot post is In the haiku form.
You spammers suck much.
Haiku will signal your end,
clearing my mailbox.
Blog Prophyts - Right On, Man
problem with having
semantic meaning haiku-
transmittal can fail.
haiku is supposed
to have a season, color
and an animal.
these lines do not have
the proper prerequisites
it is not artful.
so, that just defeats
the reason one writes haiku-
makes it mockery.
int'resting to note,
it says that the mail sender
certifies the mail.
violation for
using the trademark wrongly
is a simple suit.
this will only work
if the spammer is truthful;
not hiding headers.
it's interesting,
that they specifically use
the haiku format.
possibilities
are quite endless. what next?
using sonnet form?
-k
yours,
kbs
Our slashdot haiku
Great poetry they are not
But no trees are gone
English major pomes
Small presses delight "They're good!"
Clearcuts thence result
Fools who think there are
"hidden portions of headers"
are foolish indeed
Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave
Oh yeah, that's real good
We definitely need more
Bad Haiku on Net
There once was a filter for spam, That used Haiku to fix the jam. The spammers fought back, started to attack. Because they did not give a damn.
"The Habeas system ensures that important mail gets through, she said. For example, anti-spam technology has been known to block bulk e-mail that people want, such as domain name expiration notices from Web address registrars, she added.
Individuals and Internet service providers can license and use the mark for free, while businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it."
That's right. They plan to sell their mark to bulk emailers so that they can 'legitimately' spam you. Explain again why this is any good to anyone under any circumstances? Oh, that's right - it's not.
There once was a spammer from Nantucket...
I add here these lines
Because Slashdot wastes my time
Twenty-second delay
Haikus will not work
I'm using spamassassin
High rate of succes
A common mistake among English speakers is that in English, haiku would still be composed of seventeen syllables. It is not.
Here is a very good article on it (featuring my favorite haiku BTW).
It comes down to the semantics of English versus Japanese. Under English there is a much more constrictive syntax, thus the meaning of a phrase can change just by resorting the words (Japanese, OTOH, is more resilient). Why is this important? 17 syllables in English can carry much more meaning than 17 syllables in Japanese.
Most haiku authors agree that the rough mean in English should be 12 in three phrases. Of course that is just a starting point at best. One of Ezra Pound's better known haiku is 18 syllables in two lines. In the end haiku creation is not a rote process.
What is music when you despise all sound?
holy shit you guys
have you lost your mind today?
or are you stupid?
---
If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
I won't get karma
Alhough my haiku stands out
Turd in a punch bowl
"He hated Mexicans, and he was half Mexican. AND he hated irony!"
I do not like Haiku and Spam
I do not like them, Sam I Am
I would not like them in my mail
I would not like them while drinking ale
I do not want to could my lines
I do not want to waste my time
I do not like Haiku and Spam
I do not like them, Sam I Am
We are CRM, IT is not our fault.
Python Announces
Simulated Pork and Meats.
Hark! Biff is barking!
Habeus Haiku
is religious fallacy
To work, ALL must play
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool. -Richard Feynman
I am sending you
this file in order to have
a little advice
Richard M. Stallman
Adamant in insisting
It's "Guh-nu Linux"
Eric S. Raymond
Thinks that Stallman scares people
"open source" not "free"
Finnish-born Linus
Writes a kernel just for fun
Not for politics
So this number is,
once again, the player key:
(trade secret haiku?)
"Eighty-one; and then
one hundred three -- two times; then
two hundred (less three);
two hundred twenty
four; and last (of course not least)
the humble zero."
-- DeCSS haiku
Power to my words!
Spam is no ones' friend.
Clogs my mailbox without fail
Makes mail hard to send
Should I filter all?
Can I trust the subject line?
Questions I must ask.
Cmdr Taco :)
Your challenge is trivial.
Yet welcome to me.
nt=no text
Windows error message haiku winners
Antitrust trial haiku winners
Telemarketer haiku winners
darkness grows outdoors,
your dinner cools, I waste a
moment of your time
-- Dave Demko
I play Nerd-Folk!
Your poor mailbox,
It seemed so large,
Please empty trash.
"PC Load Letter? What the $@#% does that mean?!"
Haiku spam fighter.
Dirty spammers go away.
Fear copyright lawsuit.
CmdrTaco
ignoring his own challenge,
says Mark Cantrell writes:
a story is on
story dot yahoo dot com
'Haiku To Stop Spam'
like the August heat
he gives a challenge to us:
comment in haiku
Like the August rain
we must ask for haiku from
CmdrTaco
home page
Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: "File not found." Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped.
slashdotters pain me.
Like birds understand the rocks,
they understand Haiku.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Get a large penis
while making money at home
and lose weight quickly!
Now that I know about the kigo requirement, a new effort:
Pity the spammer
Summer sun burns his skin red
and ants eat his eyes
These posts leave me cold
Most of them are not Haiku
No seasonal lines
Information wants to be anthropomorphized.
Media Is Cheap Boy Bands Are On Morpheus Don't Waste Your CDs
I am retarded
Im Trollsamabinladen
Meant to post plain text
God damn it to hell
This is what I meant to post
Read on for haiku.
Media Is Cheap
Boy Bands Are On Morpheus
Dont Waste Your CDs
Like a brisk fall breeze
a haiku invigorates
chasing spam away
Will probably be:
millions satisfied,
totally natural pill:
enlarge your penis.
(it even has a "natural" theme... sorta) and
a special offer,
a low interest mortgage.
chance of a lifetime.
RMN
~~~
thankfully the posts
usually long winded
are much shorter now
There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
Just how can this work?
Send _original_ haiku
with fake copyright!
Though perhaps disliked
Joke Haiku have existed
Beyond and Before
So, undoubtedly
Complete Elimination
Is Futile At Best
The Internet will
Survive this too, Other threats
Are Far More dange'rous
translation:
good morning ac
you are stupid
thank you!
One two three four five
Six seven eight nine ten twelve
I skipped eleven
The antidote for misuse of freedom of speech is more freedom of speech.
-- Molly Ivins
*Ahem*
I send you this file
In order to get advice
See you later. Thanks
(Anyone remember this? LoL!)
spam bits cross channels
humans remain unseen us
When you write haiku
Do not forget to include
season expression
A marine biologist from Queensland, Australia has won one o Japans top Haiku awards, the annual Nakaniida Grand Haiku Prize.
According to someone interviewed for the article he "is the first westerner I have come across to make Haiku of substance in the Japanese language"
Source: The Australian
still I can't haiku
Aussie male, no rhythm its true
yes, pathetic me
remember the rules of haiku
this follows now them
All your base be
longs to us they sent us up
the bomb for great justice
Thread on SlashDot
can'd summer ham in box
many bad jokes
News for Geeks in Austin, TX
X-Habeas-SWE-1: winter into spring
X-Habeas-SWE-2: brightly anticipated
X-Habeas-SWE-3: like Habeas SWE (tm)
X-Habeas-SWE-4: Copyright 2002 Habeas (tm)
X-Habeas-SWE-5: Sender Warranted Email (SWE) (tm). The sender of this
X-Habeas-SWE-6: email in exchange for a license for this Habeas
X-Habeas-SWE-7: Warrant Mark warrants that this is a Habeas Compliant
X-Habeas-SWE-8: Message (HCM) and not spam. Please report use of this
X-Habeas-SWE-9: mark in spam to .
Day Enola Gay
Drops the 10 tonne little boy
Hiroshima dies
Does this mean someday
We can expect 'I Love You'
In the Haiku Form.
AFAIK,
RTFM.
It's 5-7-5.
Don't you get annoyed
when these morons use too damn
many acronyms?
OTOH,
IMHO,
IAAM.
Look out honey, 'cause I'm using technology; Ain't got time to make no apology
Disappointed, I
Can't make All Your Base haiku
Would have been funny.
--
"Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." - Homer Simpson [1F10]
I like dancing much It makes me very happy much like Cowboy Neal
Are you secure enough in your masculinity to run 'man touch'?
I am Mark Cantrell
No Slashdot account so far
I will mention this:
The Haiku Challenge
was from CommanderTaco
no "end Italics" (</i>)
Whoever stated that signature sizes should be limited to one hundred and twenty characters can just go ahead and kiss my
All your base are
belong to us, picture
beowulf cluster of these.
Do you or your partner snore? - Visit www.snoring.com.au
If it weren't for SPAM,
We could not feed our army.
-Nikita Kruschev
"Can't you see that everyone is buying station wagons?"
The website you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
~~~~~~~~~ "I must create my own system, or be enslav'd by another man's." William Blake, Jerusalem.
woke without my girl
woke without my girl today
I am all alone.
---
the blues and haiku
so dense, so strict formally
but so different.
Two arts in three lines,
pain and struggle is the one,
one short, like life is.
every haiku
dies, unlike the blues
from repetition
where futile it is
to ecxrete some blues without
saying some things twice.
But try to do that
in beautiful haiku form
it's impossible.
- fr2ty
P.S: the last word
is more of a bold thesis
and should be questioned.
Actually... if you: /bin/laden > /dev/null /bin/laden would still be there with its original contents. /dev/null > /bin/laden, then its contents will be gone, which of course is the desired result.
cat
then
if you cat
Greetings my good friend
I come from Nigeria
To offer business.
Writing a short poem
with seventeen syllables
is very diffi