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Star Wars Episode III : Birth Of The Empire
lemmen writes "According the Brtish tabloid The Sun, Star Wars III will carry the name 'Birth Of The Empire'. This will be announced soon according the article. Also it describes one of the highlights of the movie: 'A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.' Can't wait till May 15th 2005!" Thanks to reader ExoticMandibles, another quality news source: Teen Hollywood. Update: 05/20 05:47 GMT by T :
Gokey writes with a correction: "StarWars.com indicates that the movie is released May 19th, 2005 (exactly
one year from now) not May 15th, 2005."
I suppose the only consolation is that it could have been worse. How, exactly, is eluding me at the moment, but I am sure that it could have been.
The Birth of a Migraine.
I am a believer of momentum and curves.
There was always an official Lucas announcement as to the names of the prequels, and many many rumors/fake names... anyone think this is legit?
The biggest question: Will it pull a Star Trek and contradict everything we know already?
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... surfing on lava? ... surfing on lava? ... surfing on lava? ... sorry, brain seems to be malfunctioning.
~Berj
tony hawk skateboards... GET THEM NOW! Special star wars edition!
could anakin get burned during the lava fight, hence the need for the darth vader get-up? or is that just too BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS?
http://ipod.fresh27.net/
Another Star Wars dissappointment
It's actually "Revenge of the Empire".
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
For awhile everyone thought it was going to be called "The Creeping Fear".
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*barf*!
I think I'll pass on this one, at least in the theaters.
Man, what a shame to see such a great franchise take such a huge steaming crap...
"The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground." - Thomas Jefferson
Birth of the Empire will be released one year from Today! SWEET!
My birthday's on the 15th of May. What a better present than a dissappointing end to a 30 year long franchise. Please Lucas...don't screw it up...
------- "From bored to fanboy in 3.8 asian girls" ----------
Note to self: wait for it to come out on DVD.
Oh great, lava surfing. That's all we need. Anyone remember Kurt Russell surfing in Escape from LA? God I hope it's not that lame.
I'm really curious what will come of that saber duel!
Aahhhhh, it's a Vader! Congratulations.
There is no lava in space!
A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.
Sounds more like lucas is surfing on heroin. Jesus... i would have preferred, A thrilling story that doesn't completely suck donkey ass!
Hopefully, we can get the magic from the first three movies back.
I think both Episode I and II were good movies (II was better than I), but still somewhat lacking compared to the first three.. Perhaps it was the overuse of CGI?
let's hope that ExoticMandibles is truly a teen and not a middle aged, balding man that hangs out at the mall.
Sounds like we are in for a "labor" of pains.
Ok, that was bad. Sorry.
Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.
Wait, that's a different movie. Copycats.
Surfing on lava as one of the main hilights... so this is just another special-effects filled movie lacking an almost all other aspects?
I vaguely remember that much of Anakin's damage (and the subsequent need of the Darth-suit for life support) was due to him and Ben fighting near lava or plasma. So, I'm glad that's still in there.
But I swear to God in heaven! If the battle consists of Ben and Anny fighting while surfing on 2 rocks floating on a lava flow, I'm walking out.
Knowing Lucas lately, they'll be Beach Boys playing in the background, and Anny will be catchign some "serious air, maannnnn".
Surfing on lava... surfing on a shield down stairs at Helm's Deep... what's with Hollywood's need to write out-of-character surf stunts into sci-fi/fantasy movies?
$8.95/mo web hosting
That's exactly how I would have described my feelings about more prequels after the first one.
This should be interesting. I hope this is as good as the original. If george lucas really did envision 9 total movies, then he should already have the scripts ready. The last two star wars movies seemed like he was just thinking it up on the spot, and letting the plot follow the special effects. I hope this movie has more plot.
http://github.com/gbook/nidb
Was an excellent film regarding this fine Republic's upbringing and growth from nothingness to a delightful little hate-filled boiling kettle of rage and racial despisement and MERCHANDISING! Man, Birth of a Nation branded clotheslines, silk nightgowns and galvanized buckets fetch up to and exceeding fifteen dollars at auction! Considering their initial purchase prices of three to twelve cents, that states an increase of well over ten thousand per cent! This information bodes well for the Birth of an Empire collector's market. So kids, get out there and buy buy buy up all the Birth of an Empire merchandise you can possibly fit down your dumb throats! The lava-field Anakin and Throat Crush: The Game for X-Box and PS2 should fetch obscene amounts in auctions one century hest.
ALL HAIL THE BEAST THAT ASCENDETH FROM THE PIT WITH HIS CUTE WIDDLE NOSE =^o.o^=
Yeah, a surfing scene is always a great way to spice up a sequel.
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This is one birth that should have been aborted.
A witty saying proves you are wittier than the next guy.
SURFS UP DUDE!!
I just hope they don't play surf music.
That's exactly where Star Wars v 1, v2, and now v3, belong. Bring back the '60s
Considering the theme parallels between the old and new movies, I assumed the name would relate to the culimination of the rise of the Sithe, not the Empire. If you want to get all pseudo-philosophical, the need "balancing of the force" is the theme, which is why the Sithe are needed.
What do I know.
Burn Hollywood Burn
May I humbly propose, without attempting to troll, that the Star Wars franchise is no longer relavant? Like most pop art, it is no longer in fashion. Most people I talk to today simply don't care.
They add Bonzi Buddy on his surfboard into the shot, I'm okay with the lava surfing stuff...
The more CG they cram in the better...
Anakin dies... Episode 7 comes out months later revealing that JarJar is ObiWan's new Padawan and that episodes 4-6 were just a dream. New franchise of starwars movies announced.
Also it describes one of the highlights of the movie: 'A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.'
But the question on everyones mind is, will Obi jump the lava shark?
Im dreaming ofa big bndwdth, That can resist the
Surfing on lava? SURFING ON LAVA? I guess we're in store for another gripping special effects movie which utterly bores anyone over 8 years old.
Now, if they fired Lucas and made the Zahn books into movies then they could rekindle the franchise, but Lucas would never allow that.
WHY OF WHY? I don't want the coolest lightsabre fight ever to take place surfing on lava. I want it to take place in a very sterile evironment where there are only two people, two lightsabres and the finest lightsabre techniques of the galaxy.
Oh great, this will be ultra realistic. Lucas has just gotten way too happy with the CGI in the prequels. Give me the old minatures any day.
4-6 were cool because they were grounded in reality with some cool special effects. The prequels have lost all sense of reality. A few of the things that bug me:
A planet with a water core that you can travel through, I just don't think this was possible
Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.
Jedi's plummiting 100's of feet through the air and landing on flying cars.
My list goes on and on. Fighting on lava is another example.
n/t
Clashing lightsabres while surfing on lava and balancing beachballs on their noses.
Fighting at lava final?
You have ruined me the whole 6 films now.
-Woof woof woof!
Heck, for a Jedi, WALKING on lava is possible. That might be a cool fight - each has to walk on the lava, then they're using the Force to stay walking on the surface w/o dying - Annakin somehow losing his concentration, and slipping into the lava.
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
Holy crap! Darth Vader is Luke's father? Way to spoil the ending for me, guys.
Just go HERE and satisfy your curiosity about plotline of episode 3.
At least the first three (4,5,&6) were SOMEWHAT realistic. Sure there was some futuristic/fantasy gear, but light sabers, blasters, and the force aren't that far of a stretch.
But now you bring in SURFING ON LAVA! What the hell kind of stupid ass idea is this? Somewhere in the formula of $goodMovie = $whatsAlreadyBeen done * $somethingExtravagantlyStupid ^ $corporatefunding there is a missing $creativity, $originality, or $substance, and that's just going to make this move suck more than EP 1.
On an altogether second star wars bitch, I still fscking hate Jar-Jar Binx, and think whoever created that turdmonkey should be shot, even if it is Lucas
Let's get one thing perfectly clear, I did not vote for George W Bush, and I do not endorse what he does or says.
"
"A long time ago in a galaxy far away..."
I wonder which galaxy this takes place in. If D="distance from milky way" and T="time elapsed between movie events and the present" and D=T, then radio waves might be arriving about now. Perhaps SETI will pick up a signal that makes references to Alderaan...
Anyone else getting the picture in your head from that one episode of Futurama, advertising "Walrus Juice" with a guy "Riding the Walrus" (and, you know, actually surfing on a walrus)? The message there was "don't make things extreme for the purposes of making them extreme". At this point, I think Lucas is way in over his head with this.
I dunno, that title seems to be too similar to this one: The Birth of a Nation
How else would they out crapulate Tomorrow Never Dies?
A spoiler for episode III is that Anakin will go over to the dark side after he whores himself out to dirty old senator palpatine, and tries to hang himself while huffing bantha poodoo in an effort to find an altered state of the force where the memories of wrinkled sagging skin no longer haunt him. And count dooku dies of cancer.
Hmm... My girlfriend defines "lava surfing" as when you screw up a jump in the Super Mario Brothers games and land squarely in the middle of a lava pit.
...I think I'd pay to see Anakin and Obi Wan do that. Especially if Jar Jar joins them, but gets a nice little "GAME OVER" blip.
This remind anybody else of the beach boy's song?
Cept it could go like...
Jedi's going surfing now.. Even the Sith are learning how..
And I thought "Attack of the Clones" was a horrible title.
"...while surfing on lava."
Obi-wan: You will not fall to the dark side!
Anakin: Hang ten old man!
(Anakin escapes)
Obi-wan: Bogus
My wife says that the only joy she takes from this is that it's the last movie.
Pretty much at this point I'm not sure that Lucas can fuckup Star Wars anymore. It's like thowing shit on a manure pile.
He could replace Natalie Portman with Britney Spears. Maybe replace R2D2 with a muppet or something, but those would probably be improvements.
Yes Francis, the world has gone crazy.
There's a "Hot Grits" joke in there somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can find it.
surfing on lava?
how can someone create such a dark and fantastic universe and make it so compelling int he first 3 movies, and then fill it with things like jar jar and "surfing on lava" (whoa gnarly yo!) and other idiocies in the last 3
well, the ewoks were a hint of the direction i guess
maybe lucas, who said he wants this to be for kids, not adults, is crashing the entire ship of the series against this rock of kid-friendliness
but you don't have to make it like shrek to appeal to kids
i mean i saw star wars at 7, and it was stunning... no jar jar binks needed to apply to captivate me
i think lucas really screwed up that whole "kid-friendliness" dictate- what that really means to be "kid-friendly", and what its dubious implementation might do to the tone of the series
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Great. We've had a Jewish stereotype flying slave-owning scrap dealer, a Japanese stereotype evil scheming trading guild, a 1930s negro stereotype comical figures-now-available-in-stores alien. What's in this movie? A stereotype British evil planet landlord? A stereotype German warmonger attacking peace-loving planets? Or maybe even a stereotype Texan emperor invading rogue planets to bring peace (while secretly plotting to steal their dilithium crystals).
Lucas makes me want to vomit.
Can't wait till May 15th 2005!
i on /news20040518.html
Neither can I, that's only 4 more days till episode III is released.
http://www.starwars.com/episode-iii/bts/product
If this movie is going to suck that much, i'll finally have a use for my gmail account.. :) Laugh, its funny.
"jumped the shark" was "voted off the island" which was in turn "Fired!(TM)" from the "Cone-zone."
Have people just grown to stupid to recognize jumping the shark? IMO any time you have Jason vs. Freddy, hypersonic albino rasta spirits with guns, surfing on lava, or Vinn Diesel, you have an obvious disaster. All fluff & special effects, no story. (It's possible I'm mistaken on the Vinn Diesel bit, but the commercials make me sick so I've never watched on of the movies :)
WTF are these guys thinking? Of course, I personally thought that Legolas surfing the elephant trunk was cheesy. I absolutely loved LOTR in general, but a couple of scenes went beyond the bounds of good taste IMO.
Heavens above. i'd take this with a very large grain of salt. Here in the UK ; "The Sun" is more of a comic than a newspaper, it is notorious and despite having a huge readership, as far as newspapers go its hardly one I'd say was a reliable source of information here in the UK. How can you take a paper seriously when page 3 has a bird with her tits out every day?
Electronic Music Made Using Linux http://soundcloud.com/polyp
Just the like the ludicrous "pod race" in Ep. I, and the (admittedly cute) hovering-Yoda saber fight in II, the only possible rational justification is videogame possibilities. Just like scenes where people and robots get tossed by-complete-coincidence onto moving conveyor belts with stamping machinery ...
Remember, A-B-B-A-up will let you kick-flip your lava board; B-B-A-B-down-up does a stalefish grab.
timothy
jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
Isn't that a Sunday? That can't be right....
smd4985
The article says:
"The Hollywood source said: "Anakin and Obi-Wan fight on platforms on the lava. They control these like surfboards.""
My opinion would be these are platforms hovering above the lava.
This is not surprising, but it is depressing. I know that every one of you reading this comment has seen the Luke vs. Vader lightsaber fight in Ep6. It was classic, I would almost call it artful. The lighting, the music, the overall mood was just fantatsic moviemaking.
So what do we have to follow this up? Fighting on lava surf boards? That's just stupid. I wish I could say it more eloquently, but it's just. plain. stupid. The original movies exhibited a certain amount of class, but now it's just drivel. I cannot possibly get excited or emotionally involved in a battle when I'm laughing at the implausability of the entire affair. It's the same reason that the huge battle at the end of Ep2 sucked so hard: there was too much going on, it was too fancy, and it was there just for the sake of coolness.
Minimalist direction and set design can convey so much more emotion and plot than overblown, busy looking CG riddled garbage. Of course I'll see this movie, but I'm going into it knowing I'll be laughing at, rather than actually caring for, the characters.
I'm not angry at George Lucas, he has a right to make the movie he saw in his head. I just rather pity him. Growing old should make someone more mature, not less.
Ceren the BSD chick: Help me RMS! You're my only hope!
Stallman: Use the source Linus!
Gates: Linus! *I* am your father! Come to the dark side!
ESR:bleep! scree! Wrrr!
Perens: I'm sure this is all your fault!
Shut up! It's a dream. Ohhhhhhh!!! I'll never touch that stuff again.....
he studied classic cinema to come up with this idea
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
You mean like the lava surfing scene in Spy Kids 3D?
Lucas used to be original. But THX-1138 was a long time ago.
this was revealed decades ago in the book Splinter of the Mind's Eye. which I read when I was about nine years old, so I could be wrong about that.
Lasers Controlled Games!
If we could use the truth in Advertising laws and apply them to this movie, then we could get it renamed to "Birth of The Suck".
Feed the need: Digitaladdiction.net
But just think of the opportunities for fart jokes that last upwards of 6 minutes.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times, I must be a slashdot reader.
My Gord, did you guys see the last two movies? And you still want to give that man more of your hard earned money!?
No wonder Lucas ignores his fans...he knows they'll pay even if he films ninety minutes of his cat fluffy with a Luke Skywalker doll strapped to its back.
The cake is a pie
So surfing in movies not related to surfing is bad? And I thought I was the only one who thought that Legolas's shield-sliding/trunk-grinding antics were A Bad Thing.
Right. Because Lucas would have to fire himself. And we all know, that no one has as big an ego as Lucas.
.. this is some special space lava.
...in making Lucas be the victim of an unfortunate accident?
I can't believe it hasn't happened yet.
What I would really love to see is the dude who did Samurai Jack to come in after the Clone Wars animated series to make the Zahn books. That would be great.
An alternative would be Pixar; they seem to do things well...
I can't stand the recent trend of putting so called "Xtreme" sports into movies to try to appeal to the youngters. I have been surfing for about 10 years, and I think its embarrasing.
Surfing on lava is retarded. I'm sure that they could have found thousands of other ways to show a good saber fight.
Another example of this dumb trend can even be seen in LOTR - The Two Towers. Remember the part in the battle at Helm's Deep where Legolas "skateboards" on his shield down the stairs? I thought that was really dumb. It's sad, because while "Xtreme" sports' popularity in media is just a trend, movies like LOTR and even these Starwars will be timeless (even if the recent starwars are timeless just because of the originals). I think that in 20 years people will look at those scenes and laugh, kind of like how people laugh now when they see a eighties movie playing some trendy eighties music (ex: Top Gun - Danger Zone). These parts are not meant to be funny, but a flashback to old trends always seems to be funny.
Yes sirii. I want to be sure to get tickets to this winner!
Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.
Ah you see, that is Yoda being the crafty little bugger that he is. Notice that he waits until everyone else (except his opponent of course) is out cold before engaging in said acrobatics. As soon as the others start to come round he is back on the stick before they can notice.
I suspect a benefit/social security fiddle of some sort...There's an entire library of material licensed and sanctioned by Lucas, and he chooses to cast most of it to the wind. So what's going to keep this movie from sucking? My guess is nothing. George Lucas went from being a modern mythmaker to peddling contrived sci-fi. It's really sad to see his work decline because of his overinflated ego. He believes his films somehow stand on their own, regardless of what the fans think.
Someone really needs to remind George Lucas, and Hollywood in general, that while CGI is a great tool it's not a panacea when it comes to making films. Stories matter. Miniatures and actual sets still have their places.
Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas...
modern movies seem obsessed with being "cooler" than everything that has gone before.
Case in point
Matrix - Kung Fu in a virtual world
Matrix Reloaded - Kung Fu in a virtual world with mythical beasts
Matrix Revolutions - Kung Fu in a virtual worldwith mythical beasts that walked on the celing and not the floor.
It's like Star Wars is running out of ideas so the franchise is going for big and flashy over anything worth watching. This is why I am predicting that there will be a battle involving the largest armies ever concieved, and this time, there will either be a two lightsabred enemy or more than one bad guy at once. Just so this film can be "Bigger, More Destructive, Better" than the last one.
Which is a shame, because these new films are in serious danger of ruining the original films (which I love) just by association....
RoseColor red={0, 0xffff, 0x0000, 0x0000};VioletColour blue={0, 0x0000, 0x0000, 0xffff};find / -name *mybase*|chown you
Looks like Lucas made a crossword TPM AOTC BOTE ANH TESB ROTJ It's right there, second column, 1-4 letters down. Yep, "poon". Don't miss the other words: TAB, BAT, POON, HER, BJ, NEO, TOT, etc. Seems to me that lucas might have some explaining to do.
Without the rise of the Sithe, the Jedi remain in power. Then one day. Palpatine manipulates the republic, an currently unknown number of Jedi (at least one of which is retired), and the Jedi council into handing him control of a clone army. Somehow Palpatine has all Jedi, but Yoda and Obi-Wan killed off, moving the force to the "dark side".
This act is important on several different levels: 1. Without all Jedi out of power, there can be no balance 2. It's fundamental to the nature of the problem in A New Hope 3. It makes for really fucking stupid internet arguments, which makes people feel all fluffy and enlightened inside (which is important for movie promotion).
Hence, my assumption that the name would relate to the rise of the Sithe and not he empire or have some stupid correlation to "A new hope" like "An old darkness".
Burn Hollywood Burn
Maybe we'll be lucky enough to get to see Justin and the boys of N*Sync??
Perhaps "surfing" on lava is a bit of an exageration? I can see them fighting on a rock bridge, it breaks (perhaps anakin slashes at it?) and they fall into the lava. The lava is flowing in a certain direction and they fight on the floating rock(s) until they are able to get off of them.
For all we know this could actually be how things go... All pray that he doesn't alter it [any further]...
Anyway... If either Anakin or Ben says 'cowabunga', I'm walking out.
Go here for teh [sic] funny.
earlier versions had the showdown taking place during a dual bungie-jump session at Anakin's bar miztvah
The main problem here seems to be the proliferation and take-over of "Special" effects, or Effects, in movies. With the advent of computer assisted effects the industry has been changed ever so quickly. It used to be that they scripted, filmed, post produced, and edited...now it's pre produce (that's PRE FILM special effects planing) script, post produce, film, post produce, edit, post produce. The only thing that's escaped Skywalker ranch is a lava surfing scene, how chesse can you get? I for one hope that there is a scene that explains the conflict between Obi-wan and "Annie"....make it flashy, I don't care...but don't bill it as a "SUPER-FANTASTIC-LAVA-SURFING-SCENE". Your ruining your movies George, you can see it, the world can see it, and I pitty myself I couldn't see it before...maybe you just didn't have enough time and money to frill them up back in the 80's
Lava surfing, that sounds great! I can't wait to see it! I SURE HOPE THE SUN AND TEEN HOLLYWOOD HAVE ALL OF THIER FACTS STRAIGHT. 'Cause that sounds like a really awesome scene! Even though it contradicts everything that has ever been said about the first showdown between Obi-wan and Anakin....
Ahh slashdot. Where we spend days / weeks uncovering that an anti-linux source is microsoft backed, but we take the word of 'The Sun' and 'Teen Hollywood' (about star wars no less) as 100% fact.
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
Now I'm thinking of a secret lair in a volcano, with sharks that have frickin laser beams attached to their heads...
Thanks /. we have Soviet Russia, Hot Grits, pr0n, fp, and everytime I think of sharks I'm reminded of everytime someone mentions it on here.
Vicious circle I suppose... *shrugs*
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
I don't see why everyone is taking issue with this whole surfing on lava thing. I always thought that the end of Empire was a little boring you know with that whole epic battle between good and evil both internally and externally and could have seriously benefited by Luke and Darth bungee jumping off the platform and saber fighting while plummeting. Don't even get me started on how Lucas blew it by not including a snow boarding scene in the Hoth sequence!
Star Wars III: Empire Rising
Star Wars III: Rise of the Empire
The "Birth of the Empire" sounds lame and wimpy. "Rise of the Empire" might sound a little too much like "Rise of the Machines", so why not "Empire Rising" instead?
Man, just when I though Hot Java was dead. http://java.sun.com/products/hotjava/3.0/
HAD
yup..that's right folks...Anakin is topless with a bronzed chest with a backwards hat and gold chains eating plastic wrapped snack crackers with a squeezable tube of peanut butter as he turns a chunk of rock into a space surf board with his mental abilities!
Oh and did I mention that the space surfboard can talk..... LIKE THE SCHMOO! and when not being used to surf over lava floats over his shoulder as his cowardly sidekick!
for them to show journey of luke to the dark side and then back to good again
Perhaps this is off topic, but that's a bitingly witty signature you have there. Bravo!
quiquid id est, timeo puellas et oscula dantes.
"Birth of the Empire" is a way better title than "Attack of the Clones." And there was no mention of Ewoks, so at least that much has improved. He could have titled it "Return of the Ewok Menace."
The same reason people line up to eat that slop masquerading as food served at McDonalds: people are fucking stoopid!
I mean COME ON... "Phantom Menace?" "Attack of the Clones?" How friggin' GENERIC. We probably oughta be thanking our lucky stars that it wasn't called something like "The One Where Anakin Gets His Arse Handed to Him by Obi Wan and Goes Totally Evil."
;-) of the Jedi"
Alternatively, it would have been nice if they did something like "Fall of the Jedi," to coincide with "Return (Revenge?
I just saw this banner on starwars.com
Episode III: A Year to Go
WhatMeWorry
Once the third movie comes out, the number of crappy Star Wars movies will equal the number of those generally regarded as good. Rather than being blights on a franchise that is generally good, we must face the notion that perhaps the bad movies are the norm and that the "good" movies are, in the end, nothing more than pleasant surprises in a generally crappy franchise. After all, our positive impressions of the first three movies are artificially induced to some extent by nostalgia. You don't want to admit it, but deep down, in your heart of hearts, you know that if Return Of The Jedi came out today instead of when you were a kid, you would think it was no better than the last two crappy movies.
What Would Jesus Do
(for a Klondike bar)?
Lava is a mass of incanscent fluid
A gigantic geologic furnace
Where gas is boiled from igneous rock
At a temperature of thousands of degrees
Oh I know it's not the greatest cover, but I'm not the greatest band ever either.
Screw the title, is anyone else worried about this cheesy-sounding fight on lava surfboards? Surfboards?!
God, Lucas, please stop! Give me a dignified sword fight in the vein of the OT. Nope, we need green-screened, CG'd light saber battles on top of lava with the two combatants using them like surfboards!!!
...birth of *which* Empire? The one in the movie... or the one which Lucas could buy with all the impending merchandising royalties?
Many Bothans died to bring you this sig.
and is more like Birth of a Nation in space.
You know what, I might pay to see *that* movie.
if there is anything resembling or being used as a surfboard, it will suck HARD.
... hidden at the bottom of the page: The source added: "'Birth of the Empire' is the favourite title so far."
But if there's any chance at all of seeing hot grits, count me in.
IMO Star Wars is no longer Slashdot-worthy. The last two sucked really bad, and reading the comments, a lot of other people seem to be fed up with the poor quality too. I don't have any plans to see this one.
-paul
That after this third movie they're dumping the cast and going with a whole new cast except for the droids and Yoda?
That can't be smart.
Yode: Time it is a new Empire to birth! Ben: Oh my! I don't know nuttin' bout birthin' no empire! Anakin: Frankly, Yoda, I don't give a damn!
MOD PARENT UP, everyone seemed to miss this detail
How about everyone's favorite lava-surfing videogame character?
It turns out that Rayman is really a Jedi.
But I liked all the movies so far. I guess I have the ability to just enjoy a movie without criticizing every thing about it.
About the name of the movie, why the shit-fits from all the people? It's simple, and very much similar to the rest of the titles of all of them, including the older ones.
-Jesse, likes all of them.
Nothing says "unprofessional job" like wrinkles in your duct tape.
I'm half Joe Camel and a third Fonzarelli!
I'm a kung-fu hippie from Gangster City!
I'm a rapping surfer - you're the fool I pity!
Whoa, Anakin is one outrageous dude! He's totally in my face!
What Would Jesus Do
(for a Klondike bar)?
I doubt he'll show any restraint OR thought for this sequence. IIRC, which I'm sure I do, the Obi-Wan vs. Anakin fight ended up in Anakin falling into a vat of lava, clearly indicating a fall from some non-lava surface.
What amazes me is that much of the coolness in Star Wars was absolutely NOT Lucas' doing. Has anyone played the West End Games version of SW Roleplaying game? I never really did, but I owned all the books. It's AMAZING how creative those people were, why can't Lucas take a page out of their book?
You saw the beginnings of Lucas' descent with ROJ. The first two prequels confirmed his hack status, so why are any of you surprised that from the sounds of things the next movie will suck badly also? What are you all hoping for, Lucas to turn into Kubrick or Scorsese and plop out Citizen Kane for you? It ain't gonna happen. Unlike Darth Vader, there'll be no redemption for these steamy piles of crap. Just give up your vain hopes and embrace the cynicism!
It's going to make such a rad videogame.
Everyone's missing the real inspiration... the last scene of Dark Star.
It's a cross between Dark Star and Star Wars! Let's see, we can have a sequence where Obi-Wan tries to talk a 'droid that Anakin's slaved to a bomb out of exploding. And then toss in a wet-t-shirt scene with Amidala and Anakin: "Congratulations, you have decided to clean the elevator!"
What exactly is wrong with the title? It IS accurate.
It also fits with the story ordering (in a melodramatic pulp sci-fi way):
3. Birth of the Empire
4. A New Hope
5. The Empire Strikes Back
Honestly, anyone complaining about this would have complained about the title of Ep. V also.
The movie will still suck.
I posted my venture Rocket, Ship and Highway on eBay yesterday trying to raise capital for my 3 tech projects. It was my astonishment that I received from ukinvestigations@ebay.com the following:
We regret to inform you that your eBay account has been suspended due to concerns we have for the safety and integrity of the eBay community.
As we state in the User Agreement, Section 8, we may immediately issue a warning, suspend, or terminate your membership and refuse to provide our services to you if we believe that your actions may cause legal liability for you, our users or us. We may also take these actions if you have breached the User Agreement or if we are unable to verify or authenticate any information you provide to us.
Due to the suspension of this account, please note that you are prohibited from using eBay in any way. This includes the registering of a new account.
Please note that this suspension does not relieve you of your obligation to pay any fees you may currently owe to eBay.
Regards,
eBay Trust and Safety
I am an honest person with integrity. I have not stolen and capitalised on other people's ideas. They were all genuinely created by me and the venture was deemed by me as fair to potential investors.
eBay even allowed a lesbian to sell her virginity on their site (that made them literally a pimp, excuse me), but they won't let a decent entrepreneur raise capital through their web-site. There are other business plans listed in that category of eBay and mine should be the best. Combined with what I have encountered in the past 3 years for the projects, it is my judgement that there is a depicable war out there. And people at eBay have become war criminals (or more precisely Nazis, I know) themselves.
Actually, I would be more interested in finding out how Leia got away/wasn't known to Vader.
As to it not making sense for Luke going to Tatooine, I thought it actually did - wasn't Luke given to "Uncle Owen" (whom I presume is Anakin's half brother) to be raised?
Give Lucas some credit. He "Spoils" something that shouldn't be news, but holds back the piece that is actually more intriguing (at least I hope it is).
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
Just maks sure the surfing doesn't look like Kurt Russel's did in Escape from LA!
Most people think that the guy who actually goes and explains the joke that everybody else already understood is an asshole.
> I vaguely remember that much of Anakin's damage (and the subsequent need of the Darth-suit for life support) was due to him and Ben fighting near lava or plasma.
Actually, a bunch of Ewok schoolgirls tie him down and drip candle wax on him, not realizing that he has sensitive skin.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Out of all the titles, this one seems to be the favorite. However, this doesn't mean that it has been ultimately selected yet. I'm sure there are other title ideas, ones we have not heard of and others that we have. Star Wars fans again must wait to get the actual name release from Lucas!
Hmmm.
...is finally coming to fruition!
As always, please remember to sign the petition for the release of the theatrical version on DVD here: http://www.hanshootsfirst.org
Why bother going? We all know it's going to suck. Yet there are literally tens of thousands of geeks who are going to see it anyway. WTF.
If, by some miracle, it's not a piece of crap, I have a feeling I'll learn about it before opening night (thank you internet). But unless some trustworthy pals give me the good news, I'm not going to waste my time.
As to it not making sense for Luke going to Tatooine, I thought it actually did - wasn't Luke given to "Uncle Owen" (whom I presume is Anakin's half brother) to be raised?
Yeah, real clever, let's raise Darth Vader's son using HIS OWN LAST NAME OF SKYWALKER ON HIS HOME PLANET.
Perry Mason couldn't crack this case.
None of the scripts or screenplays were written ahead of time. There were some notes, mostly about the middle three, but not even what Hollywood calls a 'treatment.' Witness the fact that Wookies, the original (intended) inhabitants of Endor, had to be changed to Ewoks because it had already been established that Wookies had technology, and the notes called for low-tech fuzzies.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
Errr.... have you seen her lately?
I think you meant:
-no nekkid carrie fisher 2004-equivalent
Star Wars III will carry the name 'Birth Of The Empire'
:-)
Time to start generating new and *better* names for this movie. Only in the same Universe that...
The Phantom Menace (Truly equals) "The Phantom Anus"
(and)
Attack of the Clones (Truly equals) "Send in the Clowns" (or "Send in the Clones")
What is 'Birth Of The Empire' to become?
My first guess is "Smurf in a Grinder"
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. -- Hunter S. Thompson
I predict this fight to be like...nothing.
I was thinking more along the lines of this one since it's slightly more relavant (even made the cover in this case).
Either way, it's completely moronic.
End of line..
Guess they had to since "Birth of a Nation" was already taken.
If that's the case, those planets would have been the first places Vader would have searched. "Dark force auras...the ability to hide there undetected as a result...I probably outta check it out since I'm hunting and killing all Jedi in the universe."
Oh, yeah, I forgot, George Lucas had the logic and continuity sense of a high school fiction writer when he wrote these prequels.
Someone just posted the DIVX version of Star Wars III: Birth Of The Empire in IRC and the File Sharing networks.
;)
I got a quick view of it, but someone in a Jarjar Binks costume in the theatre got in front of the guy with the video camera during the final fight scene in the lava and I missed it.
Those Internet Pirates are very quick to release these movies before the actual release dates, or even before the movie is finished! Must be "Spaceballs" fans?
Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
Funny, I thought the movies were all science-fantasy. At best, space opera sci-fi. Really, the movies were never about the science, which was always ludicrous and inconsistent.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
Terrified that this secret might get out, he creates an elaborate story about how he was burned in a pit of lava, but secretly he raises the empire to avenge his molestation at the hands of the the Ewoks.
It is revealed that Chewy is Luke's brother, and Yoda's secret ancestry is infact the result of an Ewok-Gungan affair.
Nothing but bitching and moaning in the replies so far. Come one people! First of all this rumour might not be true, god knows how reliable the British tabloids are (a certain picture "from Iraq" springs to mind).
Secondly, even if it is true, we don't know anything about the plot, the scene, the circumstances, how it plays out, etc. I know I and II weren't the best movies, but jezus, give it chance will ya!
> Ceren the BSD chick: Help me RMS! You're my only hope!
Episode IV: A GNU/Hope
The Sun is a fine periodical that features insightful, well considered, half-naked, intelligent articles on ...did I say half-naked? That has nothing to do with it. Why I'd throw out Page 3 right away except they normally have really interesting articles on page 4 that I really want to keep hidden in my desk ...I didn't write that. You didn't read that. It never happened.
No, remind me, is this one where the Klingons are their friends or is this one where the Kilgons are their enemies. This always confused me.
... Angst ridden Anakin action figure (now with LAVA SURFING ACTION!)
Don't forget this one.
In one of the crappier post-Zahn books, when Luke is meandering around looking for students, he's challenged to do exactly that. (Also, a lava dragon attacks him when he's halfway across the "lava lake," because the author is a doofus.)
That might have been the point at which I gave up reading the Star Wars books.
After TPM came out, and I was still suffering from "Jar Jar Shock," one of my friends enlightened me with the idea that Star Wars is a children's movie. That is why I remember the OT being great, but I am so disappointed by the Prequels.
I let my 2-year-old son watch all 5 recently, and he loves them. Now instead of asking to watch Monsters, Inc. or Toy Story, he wants Star Wars.
The Fat Man Walks Alone
Metropolis, directed by Fritz Lang, was a serious film which pondered the man/machine rift using the best film technology had to offer at the time. In the 1920s it was absolutely at the forefront of film special effects, yet the effects didn't overshadow a then highly original story and screenplay. Star Wars was simply a western shot in space with high end special effects of the era. Comparing the first Star Wars to Metropolis does Lang and his film a terrible disservice IMO. You would do better to compare 2001 with Metropolis since they both cover similar ground of dehumanization in subservience to machines and the cycle of birth and death - both for individuals and societies at large. Lucas never offered such serious themes in his work, it's strictly entertainment. --M
During those times Yoda figured in stopping a swath of destruction cut by Dark Jedi from Bpfassh. One of these dark siders had gotten as far as Dagobah, were Yoda bested him in direct confrontation. The Bpfasshi Jedi died, his dark Force absorbing into and twisting a nearby tree -- forming a dark side nexus. It is believed that Yoda chose Dagobah as his hiding place due to the dark side energies emanating from the tree. From a distance, Force-users like the Emperor would not detect Yoda since the master's bright light side presence would be canceled by the Bpfasshi dark side presence.
...the spoilers don't have the whole story? Ever thought of that? Perhaps the two are fighting on a platform *over* lava that falls into the lava having been ripped from its base. Maybe Palaptine does the ripping. Maybe it's cut by a lightsaber. Do you ACTUALLY think that we will see Jedi "surfing?" That would be *too* stupid. Not going to happen.
Go ahead, mod me down as though I were some sort of nerd heretic. Although it's really odd how being a Star Wars fan used to be a nerd prereq, and now you have to despise the movies in order to get your loser cap.
This means that anyone surfing on it, even on a super effective insulated surf board would *burst into flames from radiated heat alone*. I have personally stood 25 feet from a medium sized bonfire and not been able to move closer because the heat hurt my face. Lava is much hotter than a bonfire, and there is usually much more of it. Maybe Mario and Luigi can jump over lava pits unscathed, but not human beings - even with the Schwartz.
Eat at Joe's.
C'mon. Hasn't everyone had enough? As far as I'm concerned, Lucas jumped the shark with the Ewoks. It's been downhill ever since. I'd rather have a great story and Dr. Who style effects over anything Lucas has pulled out of his butt lately.
Sorry.
surfing on lave is too the EXTREME!!!
what a joke.
If i was lucas i'd be thinking very hard about the last film, do i:
a) stick to the story and make the geeks happy
b) make half the movie the torturous death of jar-jar binks (who wears a gag)
c) reveal that natalie portman was actually the template for the clones and they have all turned lesbian, release as an 18.
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
This would be the one to call Revenge of the Jedi.
But since Lucas is too busy auditioning Afleck for Howard the Duck 2, it's pretty clear neither of those is ever going to happen.
I for one will be saving room for a digital pic, and a glowstick just for him.
1) They are not Human beings, they are characters ina work of fiction.
2) They are not even human beings, they are JEDI. Bow before their nearly limitless power.
Yes! SharkJumper
I don't know, it has a certain appeal, the idea's so obvious that Vader wouldn't bother looking there.
Obi Wan Kenobi, crazy like a fox.
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
You NEED, desperately, to see the original incarnation of Jabba the Hut. Think Darby O'Gill + LSD in 2001. Very disturbing.
Birth of the Federation come to mind?
It all makes sense, here you go:
With Ep2:Attack of the Clones title, Lucas was shooting for harkening back to the B-Scifi Movies.
With Ep3: BotE we have moved along to harkening back to the 60's with the beach fight scenes and surfing, only with lava.
Presto!
"If you have done 6 impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways" -- hhgg
Likewise, I object to the water core and the overt over-cgi. It's just too damned obvious, imo, and it hasn't aged well.
:|
Also, mitichlorians or however they're spelled. Way to ruin it.
That aside, I have a different outlook on the Jedi bits. Yoda kicking it dervish style annoyed the shit out of me, but hey, he's a master of the Force.... and he's obviously using it only when he NEEDS to. Yeah, he could use it to get around without the cane, but the fact is that he can still walk without the force- using it for something that mundane would be a waste of the abilities.
As for plummeting... well, psychokinesis is a Force ability. If you're good enough (in theory), you could direct and slow your fall without much difficulty- zipping down and slowing up enough to cushion the landing.
Still. I followed the development of EpI and frieking HATED it (big screen, opening night, and it sucked so hard I actually fell asleep during the gungan battle due to a collosal lack of interest). I was passe about EpII- especially given that what got everyone drooling was the effects. Hell, I knew what to expect from EpI and ILM had already been surpassed by better studios (and better directors) at that point.
EpIII? Maybe I'll catch it on DVD when a friend of mine picks it up in the used bin. Hopefully I'll be able to stomach more of it than EpII.
Check this out. Supposedly they will also re-release the original trilogy to include Anakin as a "ghost"? Pfft.
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
Star Whores III: Girth Of The Empire
If "Birth of the Empire" was the winning name. I wonder what some of the losers were....
IMHO, Episodes I and II ruined movies that I considered great in my youth. I mean, many people would have said growing up that the Star Wars trilogy were some of the best science fiction films ever made. Now, I never entirely agreed with that, but they are darn good movies. After watching the past two releases, I have a bad taste in my mouth. I don't enjoy watching the old movies nearly as much as I once did. They are all part of the same storyline, and for that reason, I find it hard to keep them seperate. Now, we know that this movie is going to be crap. I mean, we all hope that it will be good, but deep down, I think we all know that Lucas cannot redeem himself. If we refuse, as a group, to see this movie the weekend it comes out, it would make a point. It would send a message out that we will not simply watch whatever they throw at us just because we hold on to some childhood memories. We will not see a movie because the first one did so well. We as a group cannot allow the movie industry to rape us anymore. If they want to continue to raise the price, then we need to continue to empty their theaters.
According the Brtish tabloid The Sun and This will be announced soon according the article.
Am I the only one that shuddered at such grammatical construction? Surely the word to is dying out to be in there? Also
British is spelt British not Brtish. But come on. Use of the word to is not a crime. Use it. Now.
I see many people on /. are crying out for the elegant light saber battles in the vein of the OT. However, intensely choreographed, wildy implausible scenes can still be incredible- if done correctly. Case in point: the Clone Wars Micro Series. Anakin's battle with the dark jedi chick in the treetops of Yavin was just damn cool. Cooler than anything I've seen in Ep 1 or Ep 2. Mace Windu vs. the Droid armies was incredible. Come to think of it, can they get Tartakovsky to direct Ep 3?
News Flash! The first two were so bad even this one can't redeem them - even if it is somewhat above the level of the suck the first two rank in at.
JAR JAR? R2-D2 FLYING?!?! WHAT THE FSCK?! The list goes on. Hey Look! I've got a minute!
Like Yoda would need a light saber - and if he did, like he wouldn't completely win? Isn't Palpatine about Yoda's level? So who's this Yoda-battle-worthy douche Dooku? Wasn't Douche-ku a pupil of Yoda's? So wouldn't Yoda just stop him dead with the wink of his eye?? On top of that, why did Yoda need his hands to steady that rock he STRUGGLED with? (And why'd he struggle? I thought "size mattered not - only different in your mind")
It's almost like Lucas set out to shatter our love of the real trilogy. Oh yeah - and R2 CAN NOT fly - if he could, why the hell didn't he just fly instead of falling in the swamp on Dagobah? Or when the ewoks got him? Or through the desert? Are You going to tell me his jets will be irrepairably damaged in this upcoming puke fest?
I used to believe it might not suck, back just before I saw Jar Jar and the Gun Guns scene the first time. Then reality set in and I admitted that Lucas has a problem.
Hey - if all the stormtroopers are clones of Boba/Jango Fett - why are the Fetts so good and stormtroopers are so comically pathetic?
I could go on, but I have to leave work now. I cheerily invite someone to pick up where I left off - I'm sure there's some of you out there with flaws I haven't even thought of yet...
========
77 77 77 2e 6d 65 6c 76 69 6e 73 2e 63 6f 6d
"birth of a franchise"
The could show the kenner factories getting built and molding action figures and burger king glasses and the like...
could even have a special scene where the "rocket firing" boba fett is scrapped in favor of a fixed rocket...
e.
Build Your Own PVR/HTPC news, reviews, &
Bleah. Yes. One of my big hollywood pet peeves.
That was one of the things that killed the scene at the end of RotK for me.
DNA just wants to be free...
None of you would be complaining about the lava-surfing if it involved Jar-Jar! :oD
Everyone knows about the volcano.
I still have my original programs from Episode 4, Star Trek TMP, Close Encounters and Superman... I was on Isaac Asimov's security detail at Star Trek conventions in the 70's... I won a science fiction trivia contest at a con... I published a fanzine for several years... I financed that fanzine with proceeds from selling swords, "crystal balls" and other drek in the huckster room of many cons... My first date with my wife was to see The Empire Strikes Back...
And still, I feel an uplifting soul-freeing relief, because I didn't know about the fucking volcano.
Poor editing, actually.
If you look on the ep1 DVD's deleted scenes, you'll see a scene where Qui Gon is talking with Anakin in Mos Eisley, and one of the flying camera droids that Darth Maul had released when he got on the planet creeps up on them. Qui Gon senses its presence, and in a very cool Jedi move turns around, takes out his lightsaber and destroys the drone in one swift motion. then turns to Anakin and, aware that they have been found, says something like "We must hurry!" and they run off to the ship. Upon their hasty arrival, Darth Maul catches up with them, and they fight (the deleted scene ends when he says they must hurry).
But that scene was cut, so the following scenes do not make sense:
That is now a useless scene because they don't do anything. He releases them...and that's the last we hear of them (I think we see one zipping along once in the background, but that's all).
Why are they running? How did Darth Maul know the ship was there?
So, he cut an important scene that linked two other scenes (therefore crucial to the flow) and showcased super cool lightsaber action and force powers (what we are there to see!), all because of "time constraints". But he felt it necesary to leave in the same chapter the scenes of:
That is bad storytelling. If you have time constraints, you cut the scenes that have no relevance to the story and no impact on the flow, not the ones that are both cool and integral to the story.
You can't take the sky from me...
I'm afraid a more fitting title would be "Star Wars Episode III: Death of the Franchise" ..Nevermind, that was the working title of both Episodes I and II.
(Admittedly the lightsabre fight could turn out very well.)
Both are objects in motion
both are events
Whatever, I still can't get over this....
http://www.thedigitalbits.com/rumormill.html
or
http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=17592 Scroll to the bottom!
SW+tESB+ RotJ: are classics and not up for discussion.
EP I - was whoring on lucas's part (i nearly said money-whoring), thouroughly disappointing.
EP II - can't explain to myself why i went, optimism i guess.
the way i see it, THEY(producers,director,writers) wasted 5 hours of screentime in which they advanced the plot very little. nothing but "Moy-chendising" (where the real money from the movie is made)
now they are going to cram all the remainig plot hole plugs in the 3rd movie.
I'm not even sure i'll see it on DVD (that'll show them)
-- Avishalom is usually vish
...to remember the intro to the original Star Wars back in 1977, I can assure you that "Episode IV" was tacked on after the fact. I remember it clearly. Lucas added on Episode IV to Star Wars for a re-release in 1980 right before The Empire Strikes Back was released to theaters. And I remember that too, 'cause I saw both. Man, I'm an old fart. --M
Too much to hope for? Am I doomed to watch a 900 yr old, borderline decrepit (only physically) Yoda bounce around like some novelty toy?
Here's how it should go down. Dooku (like an idiot) taunts him, boasts of his supreme power. Yoda opens his robe, and a few dozen light sabers fly outward from it. They activate in the air, and start spinning like saw blades, flying around levitated by Yoda's force powers. 5 and 6 probing inward, trying to turn Dooku into hamburger. He's good, fending them off for a short time... but nothing he can do delays the inevitable. Yoda frowns, wondering what will happen now.
Here's what will happen. They will exchange hammed up, lame-ass quotes. They will slowly draw their weapons, prancing around slowly. CUT TO ANAKIN VS. KENOBI'S EXTEME LAVA SURFING CHAMPIONSHIP. Blah. CUT TO DOOKU AND YODA'S SABERS LOCKED, FACES INCHES AWAY. More lame quote/counter-quote. CUT TO...
Brownie points to the first person who can download a pirated copy, and photoshop in Fonz jumping a shark in the background.
I remember being probably around 5 or 6 when I watched the star wars movies. I liked them then, and I can't wait until the first trilogy is released on DVD September. That said, I was pretty young and couldn't really make an opinion over "Wow that's cool!" and couldn't appreciate the fine details in the first 3 movies. I haven't watched them in a while either so the memories of them are vague at best.
Getting to the question at hand, what about episodes 1 and 2 turned you off? I enjoyed them on their own merits rather than comparing them to the first trilogy (because it was easy for me, read above), and although there were some things like a planet with a core of water that was unrealistic, Star Wars in general is unrealistic.
Of course, there is the Jar Jar Binks factor. Personally I bet Lucas regretted that character, I know I sure would.
Some talk about a Jedi falling 100 feet and landing on a flying car and how that is unrealistic, others talk about the set rules of physics that seem to be ignored in I and II, others about destroying the "wise sage" that was Yoda, and also the demystifying of the force with science. I'm sure there is more, which I hope you'd inform me of.
One thing I'd like to say is that episode II to me seemed to show the golden age of the Jedi coming to an end. I can see how certain things in the first 2 or 3 episodes could be different from the last 3, such as the jumping from 100 feet thing.
Anyway, I'd like to hear your responses as I've been wondering why people seem to rag on the new SW movies a bit.
There's this well known webpage that analyses all the sources of inspiration Lucas used to create the original trilogy.
I bet this lava thing was stolen from Jules Vernes' Journey to the Center of the Earth, where the characters escape by being catapulted out of a volcano while surfing the rising lava.
So I think you are right in that either Ben or Anny will catch some serious air.
With a little more thought you would have resulted in: the motors bat pants object the bat pants, motors object. the motors object bat pants
I've very doubtful that Birth of the Empire will be selected as the subtitle for the new Star Wars movie. It's far too similar to Birth of a Nation, the "classic" silent film which glorified the KKK. I'm sure Lucas, Inc has had enough race controversey with Jamican Jar Jar and the Jewish slave owner.
Shallow characters made up of racist stereotypes.
But somehow, I don't suppose star wars fans will go on to form a new KKK type thing. Though lynching Jar Jar after the first one would have been good for us all.
And no, Lucas will not be getting a "hollywood mansion" (below). He's quite not enamoured of Hollywood. Part of why he moved to Marin, gave up his DGA card, etc. The union rules were also part of the hassle of getting other directors on some other episodes.
(he burned his card or something after "strikes back" and he was fined for not having the director's name before the narrative crawl. Neither he or the director wanted it, but rules is rules.
God it scares me that I know this. (on the plus side, I can't NAME the director without looking to imdb. And I won't).
The Creeping Fear doesn't make sense, as its a thing.
ANH and TPM are both things.
AOTC and ESB are both things in action.
ROTJ and Birth of the Empire are both events.
I thinks its funny that the rumor sites never caught onto this parallel, especially since George has been so into creating parallels with the first three movies.
Well, you obviously never read the novelization of Star Wars written by "George Lucas". Please turn in your Spock Ears and comtemplate how you've wasted your life.
Anyone who actually uses the name "Anny" to refer to Anakin Skywalker is disqualified from criticizing these movies. And it's not Ben, it's Obi-Wan. He was only called Ben during his time of hiding out and watching over the growing young Skywalker on Tatooine. Sorry, but we've got to keep continuity
But FRANK Solo shows up.
You see, Annie has just built this really cool ship and lists it on eBay in an attempt to get some cash to buy a wedding ring.
Frank Solo is the top bidder. Frank meets Annie to pick up the ship and Annie says that he hasn't named it yet. Right then, a falcon flies over head.
Frank then takes off on a trip to the planet WookieMonster where Frank earns his citizenship by marriage to Princess Baka who later delivers him twin boys.
Sorry, I don't believe it. For both prequels, there was rampant speculation and "insider information" on the titles until the day LucasFilm made an official statement, which immediately proved all the rumors false. IIRC, "Birth of the Empire" was "going to be the title" of EP2, according to some rumors from 3 years ago. When the title is leaked, it will be through offical channels, not some trashy tabloid.
Xenon, where's my money? -Borno
If Episode I and II were such a travesty, such a smear on the well-coddled spot of pop culture that you hold so dearly close to your heart, then don't go see Episode III. I mean it. Don't spend any money, don't ask anyone else how good (or bad) it was. Just ignore it when it comes out and leave it behind you forever.
Will you do that? I would venture to say no. That would spoil the fun of having something to bitch about.
The real reason people use as justification to see the new version of anything is that they might miss something that DOESN'T suck, something that everyone else saw on midnight the night before opening night. Heaven forbid I be left out of a geek orgy! But feelings are so strong about Episodes I and II you would figure no one would touch Episode III without biohazard gear and robotic assistance. But they will. In droves. And when Episode III comes out, people will dress up in their Stormtrooper outfits, Darth Vader suits, and Leia bikinis and flock to the theaters.
And they will be thoroughly disappointed.
Expectations for this series are way beyond what anyone can reasonably expect. George Lucas has left the Star Wars universe simmering for far too long and with little discipline for ANYONE to be satisfied with his vision of the beginning of his own saga. Anyone with such high expectations is destined for disappointment, because the movie they see is never as good as the movie they imagine.
So ignore Episode III when it comes out. Don't go see it. And don't complain when it sucks. Because Star Wars does not belong to you. It belongs to George Lucas. And he can rewrite his story (and "history") all he wants, because it's his. If you don't like the story, don't fork over the cash. And if you do go see it, just remember what George Lucas actually said: "the last three [episodes] are more commercial." Don't expect to see the death of every Jedi. Because I am predicting Darth Vader will not show up until the end of the movie. And if there's anything that will get the Star Wars zealots up in arms, it will be the "implied" slaughter of all the Jedi, just like the "implied" slaughter of the Tusken raiders in Episode II. After all, this is a series for kids!
"What luck for the rulers that men do not think." Adolf Hitler
I think I might watch it just to see Hayden Christianson fall into boiling lava. Unfortunately I had to wait two movies to see it. If somehow Jar-Jar and Natalie Portman's clothes fall in I will definately spend the $9.
Now, if they fired Lucas and made the Zahn books into movies then they could rekindle the franchise, but Lucas would never allow that.
Come on, the Zahn books were even worse than the prequels.
The story arc was *identical* to the original trilogy, but with such "clever" substitutions as a mining city built on top of AT-ATs instead of antigravity systems, and the Katana (nice breach of continuity, that name) fleet instead of the two Death Stars.
The characterizations were only vaguely reminiscent of those in the films. Every planet had a name with seven apostrophes in it. The evil Ewok ninja creatures were totally dorky, and so were the bevy of characters (e.g. Thrawn, Mara Jada) who were always conveniently off-screen during the films. It was full of lame prequel-esque stunts like the one where Luke slides down a wall by holding his saber in one hand to gouge a recess and his other to grip it as it's created.
The only official Star Wars material I've read that was worse than the Zahn books was the Crystal one with the machines that suck people's souls out with arcs of electricity.
I do agree about the surfing on lava thing. I knew Lucas was going to figure out some way to make this potentially awesome film terrible. This just further convinces me that he's going to do something totally stupid to the original trilogy for the DVD release, like stick some Gungans in the Mos Eisley cantina and/or piloting ships at the battle of Endor.
"...always new atoms but always doing the same dance, remembering what the dance was yesterday." -Richard Feynman
Now, if we had Jar-Jar fighting Jabba the Hut on surfboards over lava and get rid of the annoying little &*@# THAT would be something....
Indecision may, or may not be my problem! -- Jimmy Buffett
Lucas has, in effect, created a temporal paradox.
/.ers will nothing to bitch about. /.ers will have nothing to troll about.
/dev/existence /dev/null`
If he is somehow stopped from making this movie, then Anakin will never turn into Darth Vader, and the Empire will never be born.
If there is no Empire and no Vader, then the original trilogy could have never existed, thereby negating two things:
1. Lucas' immense wealth (as well the wealth of Hammil and the fame of Ford).
2. The need for the prequels.
If there is no need for the prequels, 2 things will happen due to that:
1. There will have been no prequels, so
2. No more Natalie Portman, so
So... this movie has to be made, the alternative being something along the lines of `mv
And all this time I thought that the Catholics would be the ones to negate the creation...
On that note, who's up for goin to Hollywood with me to stop this movie from being made?
I figure we've got 8 days...
surfing on lava... really. it was lame in Spy Kids 3D, better with lightsabres? i don't think so.
stop laughing at me, i have kids.
- Disclaimer: Information in this post deemed reliable but not guaranteed.
Yawn was such a stupid subject.
I thought it was going to be called "No Hope of Being Good", it would tie in with ep4 nicely....
The only evil parts of I and II were Darth Maul, Count Dooku, and the Fetts.
Meh? How was Maul evil? He had horns? All of these guys are evil only because they're on the wrong side, not because they really establish their respective characters at all.
Darth Vader used the force to choke a guy to death - because he got a little back-talk. Darth was a bad, bad man - and got lots of great scenes to establish his character. So did the emperor. Heck, they blew up a whole planet.
Let's not stir that bag of worms...
Whew, the flamage around here is about as bad as that Lava. It's also attacking the wrong thing.
#1 This is the "British Tabloid, The Sun." Tabloid! Hello, McFly? Are you all really giving that much weight to everything that rag says? Oh, I'm sorry, this is slashdot, my bad.
#2 The article quotes: The Hollywood source said: "Anakin and Obi-Wan fight on platforms on the lava. They control these like surfboards." Sounds like its poorly described. I read that as "controlled with the feet." This is a Tabloid so getting any more detailed than "like surfboards" will bore their readers. This is just sneak peak bullshit designed to get people reading and worked up.
#3 If its described badly, don't can the scene until you've seen it. THEN can it. Have the friggin proof right in front of you. Oh, I'm sorry, this is slashdot, my bad.
#4 Why hasn't anyone complained about the physics of the lava sequence? Now, near the surface, lava is pretty hot and shouldn't be messed with, but you could probably put things on it or hover over it a few feet and not get burnt. But if this is an epic battle, I'm thinking "fires of Mordor" here, deep in the earth or in a volcano. That's friggin HOT. Even if they aren't touching it, the platform should probably melt, or their feet catch fire and/or melt from the sheer heat just above it. Has anyone bothered to analyze this? And, I'm sorry, but if Anakin were to fall into the lava... instant crispy Jedi. None of this horribly scarred nonsense. Who cares if its not "geeky cool" or "artistically cool." Lets can the stupid physics like we used to around here!
#5 Several other sources of Star Wars history cite that in the epic battle between the two, it was acid, not lava. Not that I think Lucas would actually bother to try to keep the timeline consistent, but hell, that actually sounds more realistic and no less cooler than the lava. Can we go back to this please?
"All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"
.. the same lame stormtropper getup their mother made out of styrofoam and a sharpie.
... their target readership dreams only of guzzling litres of lager while watching clones of Pamela Anderson playing topless football. Phwoar! etc.
Just look at the quote- "they control these like surfboards". Wow... sounds plausible. Sigh. I strongly suspect that whatever actually happens in this scene, the 'insider' or The Sun felt they had to dumb it down so that their readership could understand it- and distorted it in the process. Surfboards!?! Hah!
Personally, I'm hoping to see "Star Wars: Episode III: Return Of The Sith" scroll up the screen. That would follow George's professed style of making movies 'like music', echoing the same riffs and themes throughout the Star Wars sextology.
There's a deleted scene on the Episode II DVD where we see Padme refer to one of her sisters as "Beru". So, Owen is Anakin's brother-in-law. How the fsck Beru gets to Tatooine (and/or why she'd go) is anyone's guess, though.
I thought a better title would be something along the lines of Episode III: Fall of the Jedi, which ties in with Episode VI being the Return of the Jedi.
I'd personally like to thank the retard editor who let this spoiler go. Surfing lightsabre battle, great, I'm sure it's fantastic, but what is it with posters and editors who think it's necessary to dump details without a spoiler warning? I find I enjoy movies best knowing as little about them as possible before going in. In particular it saves people from me being yet-another-twit posting about how this or that was a let down thanks to my inflated expectations.
I'll see it when it comes out, probably a week or so after opening and when crowds have thinned (after all the whinging begins in papers and on /. about how it sucked because of this, that or the other thing.)
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
No one has mentioned Poochie yet?
..
(Lindsay Nagel) mmm . . rastify him by 10% or so .
Yes, but as long as he's living in his mother's relative's house, Lord V. can't do anything to harm him.
"Also it describes one of the highlights of the movie: 'A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.' Can't wait till May 15th 2005!"
A surfing lightsaber battle? Have you honestly tried to imagine that? If that's THE highlight, I'm pretty sure I can wait until 2005...
You need a FREE iPod Nano
Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.
There's nothing unrealistic about this. That scene resembled Ozzy Osbourne before, during, and after a performance.
After all, they need something to use as an ackward "video-game-in-the-middle-of-the-movie" segué. You know, like podracing and the droid-manufacturing sequence in Episode 2.
Happiness is relative, Based upon the way we live.
I count 10+ comments modded four and above that say essentially the same thing ("Surfing on lava? Dude, that sucks!").
Moderators, could you please read the entire thread before moderating (or at least the posts posted prior to the one you are eager to moderate.
Reading this thread is just mind-numbing. It's like reading the same sentence over and over again. Actually, it is reading the same sentence over and over again.
It's not called Birth of the Empire but Springtime For Vader:
Springtime For Vader on Tatooine!
Winter for Lea on hoth
Now, if they were surfing on lava using JarJar as a surfboard, I might be eager to watch :)
lucas created a lot, what you define as noncreative is exactly what creativity is: mixing and matching previous cultural artifacts into new and novel combinations for great entertainment effect
;-(
in other words, your forensic analysis of lucas's influences are dead on, but that simply illusrates how creative he is: to mix and match such disparate influences into something wholly fresh and enthralling
you seem to think creativity happens in a vacuum
ALL stories, written by ANYONE can be found to have similarities to previous stories, as all stories are simply variations on the hero myth and have the same story arc of crisis leading to resolution
i mean, according to your definition, shakespeare or homer deserve credit for all books and movies made in western culture for the past couple of hundred years... um, no
study joseph campbell and his groundbreaking work with myths, especially the hero with a thousand faces to see what i mean
lucas is incredibly creative: watch his early film thx-1138 and do a forensic analysis of the science fiction and cultural critique roots of that movie... it doesn't take away from lucas's creativity to find his sources of inspiration
no, the problem with lucas is that he hit his audience dead on in the first few films: older children and young teenagers, in the spirit of tintin: genuinely evil forces and genuine mortal risk at work against a young hero with colorful friends and enemies in a colorful universe
however, for whatever bizarre reason, with jar jar and surfing lava, lucas somehow thinks that YOUNGER children should be courted instead of staying with his sweet spot of older children/ young teenagers... i mean c'mon jar jar is nothing but a teletubbie character: lucas has gotten the age wrong when he seeks to be kid-frinedly- he's aiming at too low of an age, and losing the sweet spot that his star wars universe appeals to
on a side note, this whole delving into the forensic analysis of predecessors to creative works gets at the problem with corporations claiming intellectual property creep further and further into the public domain: micky mouse not lapsing into it, or the whole debale with the grey album: at some point, by claiming excessive ownership on what is essentially our shared human culture, corporations are stifling innovation, not helping it, by keeping works locked up in a vault where no one can freely dip into and remix from them...
in such a too near future world where corporations and their hordes of lawyers exert too much of an influence on cultural ownership, a lawyer can come along just as you did in your parent post, and claim ownership of star wars based on previous works, and stifle star wars before it ever got out of the script pile
on other words, in the future of increasing dubious and aggressive cultural ownership practices by large corporations, we would never have seen star wars... that's the kind of stifling of innovation we are dealing with in the whole ip battle
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
This is obviously Lucas's way of paying homage to the 1993 classic "Surf Ninjas" ... duh...
... while Obi and Anakin are out surfin, Jar Jar takes a bath.
I love the smell of fried Gungan in the morning.
Somebody send Star Wars Kid a surfboard! I'd pay money to see him try that!
AOTC and ESB are also events, and ROTJ and BOTE are also action.
You're reading too much into it. I doubt George Lucas sat down and said, "Hmm, how can I tie these titles in so that they are events, actions, or things?" He was too busy thinking lava planets, water-core planets, and city planets were cool ideas.
"Hmm, I need a swamp...I know! A swamp planet! Dagobah it is!"
"I need Ani to fall into lava...I'll just have to create a lava planet! Get ILM on the phone!"
Ok this is a re-post I admit but I'm curious what other people think of this idea........
I'm wondering who here plans on purchasing the SE trilogy DVD set and then re-authoring it BACK to the original?
I'm figuring if you pirate a copy of Star Wars LD rip it's not so bad if you actually own a copy of the SE's (unfortunately)
Also some people (god I hope so) with talent might be able to make a really really nice version of the movie using the SE versions and the LD and some kind of software to clean up a good non SE edition.
So, does anyone here (perhaps a Star Wars guru) know of the changes are ALL ADITIONS to the SE's and how feasable it would be to fix them back to their original form, maintiaining the high quality of the clean up (that we've been lead to beleive will occur to the SE's) ???
I'd _Really_ like 5.1 in the original trilogy.......
Let the Lucas Bashing begin!
Episode III will be just as grotesque, but probably much lamer than Cow and Chicken. I mean, what can you expect from the author that so easily converts archetypes into stereotypes (see Jar Jar Binks)
The Raven
Star Wars was simply a western...
It's an Eastern (or tries to be.) C.f. The Hidden Fortress
One man's -1 Flamebait is another man's +5 Funny.
Obi Wan and Annakin duel each other inside an enormous volcano, jumping around on rocks floating in the bubbling molten lava. Annakin looks down and sees a shiny gold ring sitting on one of the floating rocks. Suddenly he is seized by an irresitible urge to take the ring. He reaches for the ring, but just as he is about to slip it on his finger, the smouldering carcass of Gollum leaps from the lava screaming "Nooooo! My precioussssss!" and leaps onto Annakin, biting off his finger as they both fall back into the lava.
Jar Jar stepping in cow dung TWICE.
Corporations: your universal scapegoat for all society's ills.
Give the Episode 3 script to JK Rowling and I for one would sleep easier...
With apologies to one of my favorite movies of all time, not to mention the Beach Boys, here's a joke that maybe 10 of you will get:
*********
If everybody had a surfboard
...
...
And lightsabers too
Then everybody'd be surfing
On volcanic goo
'Cuz Anakin is totally bitchin'
When he's stopping Jedi missions
And it's neat dueling l33t when you're on hot magma all day
First wave! Don't get tired.
Second wave! Slash higher.
Third wave! You're on fire!
Jedi surfin! (it's all right)
Waxin' down our surfboards
Charging up our swords
Tell Yoda we're surfin'
Good side has me bored
I've got a surfboard on my speeder
For when the waves are 15 meters
And we're cool with the duel till volcano erupts us away
I wish they all could be double-sided, wish they all could be double-sided, wish they all could be double-sided swords
Fax Baba!
Hmm - sounds like a b3ta challenge to me...
The only thing you can accurately describe as "Scotch" is a sticky tape made by 3M. And it's
I've read all the high rated "funny" and "interesting" comments thus far.
It's amazing how people are ready to take a hard dump on the movie before it's even released. It's even more amazing how people take one word "surfing" out of a press release or news report and negative fantasize until they are blue in the face like somebody who is REALLY constipated.
But the fact of the matter is.....just about every one of them will be at the theater within 2 weeks of release, ready to pay their 7-10 bucks (or equivelant currency) to see it.
Maybe their expectations will be so low that they might actually like it.
I'd view it more of a "Great Moments in Human Evolution" type story; having HAL malfunction was as much a criticism of the human paranoia* as it was on human-machine relations.
Oh, I disagree. Of course there's lots of fodder for disagreement here since Kubrick intentionally left so much of the story open to personal interpretation by focusing on symbolic imagery over dialogue and plot. However, I think you really miss the point of HAL and why he "goes insane" by killing the crew. Of course, you've read the books, which (IMO) explains too much and misses Kubrick's point. Realize that this was a collaboration between Clarke and Kubrick, and they definitely had differing ideas about the main themes of the story.
2001 starts off with aliens, personified by the black monolith, changing pre-cognitive apes (intended to be australopithecus) who were on the road to extinction into our semi-cognitive tool bearing forefathers. The apes were being out competed for access to water by another local ape tribe; they were being predated upon by leopards; local wart-hogs had no fear of them as they both competed for shrubs, grass, and berries. The result was that the first tool the apes learned to control was used to kill. Thus, a pattern begins where the beginnings of consciousness and self awareness lead to tool bearing for murder toward self-preservation.
As the bone turns to a ship in the segue from "The Dawn Of Man" section the first personal tool we see is of Heywood Floyd's pen floating in the corridor of the space shuttle. This signifies a shift in cognition and self awareness from tools for killing to tools for communication and peaceful endeavors. Yet, just as the apes before were nearing extinction because they were incapable of living in that environment, so were humans completely out of their element when surrounded by technology. Notice the 10 point instructions on using a zero-G toilet. Or the lies surrounding the find by the american moonbase purporting a non-existent epidemic in order to protect their find of the second monolith (which implies continuing tribalism and the potential for warfare throughout human society).
Then in Third section during the trip on Discovery to Jupiter, we see that the interactions between humans are as inhuman as can be. Bowman and Poole ignore each other as they eat. Poole has his birthday and watches the transmission from his family with the primary concern being whether his paycheck shows a recent raise. He orders HAL to raise and lower his bed; HAL complies without comment. In all of the interactions between humans there is a real sense of emotional self control in furtherance of misrepresenting emotional states, which HAL never quite understands. Bowman and Poole arrange to 'look at a broken transmitter' in the pod in order to get out of earshot from HAL, after learning that he made a mistake regarding the failure of the AE-35 unit. Then HAL watches them through the pod window and reads their lips as they discuss disconnecting him if he turns out to have erred.
And here is the critical point: When HAL learns of his fate his first action as a self-aware creature is to kill in self-preservation. Just as the aliens lifted those pre-cognitive humans into self-awareness and offered them self-preservation through tools for killing, so does HAL show his "birth" into self awareness by killing the crew to save himself. It was an example of humans taking on the goals of the aliens by creating machine intelligence of their own. The aliens understood what the apes would do with self-awareness and a bone, but the humans had no idea that once they created a self-aware creature, it would act of its own accord. Earlier in the film Bowman is asked by a reporter if HAL really felt what he was programmed to feel, and Bowman replies that he doesn't think anyone could know the answer to that question. Well, HAL's actions show that he was a thinking feeling being, because he acted out of self-preservation rather than for the good of the m
Jango Fett just struck me as some vaguely trailer-trash single dad who wanted to make a few bucks to raise his kid. Saying he was supposed to be "evil" smacks of George Lucas's bizarre moral philosophy, e.g. Anakin is "evil" because he's afraid, or because things piss him off -- or because he misses his mother, for Pete's sake. None of this stuff is "evil" to me, it's just human nature: some good, some bad.
Breakfast served all day!
I thinks its funny that the rumor sites never caught onto this parallel, especially since George has been so into creating parallels with the first three movies.
You don't seem to have much of a sense of grammar, I have to say. Not that I'm a grammar Nazi, but I do know a little bit about speech. The subject in "Attack of the Clones" is the attack, not the clones, while the subject of "The Empire Strikes Back" is the empire itself, so there isn't really much of a parallel in the titles, beyond the parallelism in all of the titles.
Not to mention, your analysis is pretty week, because what you call "things in action" are both events and actions. An attack is an event. And so is a "strike", (certainly a military strike, which is what we are talking about).
And of course, all "events" are also "things". I mean, obviously a "new hope" or a "phantom menace" are not anymore corporeal things then events like a "strike", a "birth", a "return" or an "attack".
Finally, you can take any set of pairs and come up with some kind of crazy-ass meaning. For example:
"The Birth of the Empire" and "A new hope",
both are about beginnings.
"The Phantom Menace" and "The Empire Strikes Back" both deal with bad things happening. (The Empire, which is evil, doing something. And something being a menace, and a phantom menace at that As opposed to ANH, or RotJ, which are good, and AotC which is neutral)
"Attack of the Clones" and "Return of the Jedi"
Both "verb of the noun" form.
My point isn't that there is some clear pattern, just that you can draw parallels between just about everything if you really try.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
Remember when you expected huge epic space battles from Star Wars? I'm tired of these CG ground-based battles. Only one we've gotten so far, and it's a kid and his "cute" accidents that win the battle.
Where are the X-Wings? The Tie Fighters? The space battles?
Where is the history of the Rebellion, and their first design prototypes of the Y-Wings, X-Wings, and so forth? The creation of the Rebel fleet and bases on Hoth and so forth? I'd rather see Hoth again, not Tattooine.
You know, actual prequels to the storyline we know in the original movies. If Lucas wants to jerk off over CG--where is the absolutely monstrous, record-breaking spaceship battle taking place between Star Destroyers, fighter ships, and so forth that shows everyone how it's done?
Nah, lets watch a bunch of Gungans and some CG clones shoot through clouds of dust instead.
I can handle surfing on lava, no problem. But, if Jar Jar is in this movie I swear I'm going to freak out and start clawing at the screen. :)
Anyway, I'd like to hear your responses as I've been wondering why people seem to rag on the new SW movies a bit.
Episode I had Jar-Jar and his stupid race talking in their demeaning pigdin language. Also, the CGI wasn't up to snuff for what it needed to be, and everyone basically looked foolish.
Episode II had less Jar-Jar (but did have the memorable, "Me-so gonna vote for WAR! We's done got rid of the writ of habeas corpus!"). However, Episode II had the absolutely worst romantic scene I have ever seen in my life. This comes from a person who has seen every Jean-Claude Van Damme movie in existence. When Anni and Padme were on the shag bearskin rug I had to look away from the screen and shut my ears.
Also, the Yoda fight was ridiculous. If he was really that fast, he shoulda killed Doookooo in 2 seconds.
Hope this helps! :)
Fax Baba!
maybe it's the Star Wars universes 'Smith'?
and please don't yell, you're not telling anybody anuthing they don't know.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Hell, George even WROTE the first novel himself.
Not:
http://www.st-v-sw.net/STSWfoster.html
Did those things ruin the movies for you? Because alot of the posters on /. that scream obsenities and talk of Lucas' lack of skill seem to give the impression that the anal-retentive peevs they have with the new movies completely ruin them. Every movie has some things that people will get irritated at, but for most they can look over things that irritate them. Then there are those who think R2D2 flying is a complete blasphemy and that it ruins the entire movie.
AOTC and ESB are both events as well. (A thing in action is a kind of event.)
"attack of the clones" and "return of the jedi" are not relevantly different either grammatically or metaphysically.
Worst.
Title.
EVER.
Admittedly, Episodes I & II had everyone's expectations incredibly high -- so I think it's valid to try to look at them without comparing them directly with the OT. If Lucas had topped Shakepeare's best with his telling of an impossible love, people would've still found flaws. My problem with I and II isn't the plots, or lack thereof. The problem is that I just don't care. It's the characters. I haven't witness any development, any conflict, any reason to identify or sympathize with any of them. By the end of Ep II, no charactor has grown emotionally in any way. Amidala is the same person she was at the beginning of Ep I. Anakin has apparently matured from the emotional age of 9 to 9 1/2. When Lucas gives us characters with the emotional depth of cartoon protagonists (nothing against cartoons . . .) and dialog that makes me wince, there's just no reason to care whether they live, die, take lava baths or not. (Okay, so I wouldn't mind seeing a Jar-Jar briquette at some point . . .)
The most intriging part of the NT so far is the political backstory. Sideous's Machiavellian rise to power is actually pretty interesting.
Hmmm... I dunno about surfing that lava thing, but surfing on Lavalife might actually get ya somewhere with the ladies - it did for me!
All these modern titles are run through focus groups. They're chosen based on marketing.
Basically, the hamsters in the focus rooms hit the pedal more times when "Birth of an Empire" was read.
I have one BIG reservation about the title. I think they should have done a focus group against the NAACP to see what they thought. "Birth of a Nation" is cited as the most racist, provocative film in American history. The titles are eerily similiar.
I would have chosen something like "Fall of the Jedi", to mirror "Return of the Jedi".
Others I am thinking up now.
"Empire Rising"
"Rebel Dawn"
"The Lost Hope"
"Fall of Darkness"
"Sith Ascension"
"The Path Chosen"
"Lost Futures"
"Tyrrany"
"Deception"
"The Dark Appretice"
"The Black Dawn"
"Vader"
"Darth Ascension"
-------- -------- Support Wesley Clark for president!!!
Jar Jar IS cow dung.
"Star Wars III: Sorry About Those Last Two" I know I'm stealing an old Leno joke.
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
...the last time I saw Metropolis was almost ten years ago on VHS. I was pretty amazed though. Suppose I ought to go rent the restored version and see the difference. Thanks for the heads up. --M
Snake Pliskin riding a tidal wave in Escape from L.A. !!!!!
Lucas......what a DUMB ASS !!!!!!!
He really IS that stupid !!!!
NT
Machiavellian?? Nicolò Machiavelli would have stolen Palpatine's power base and obliterated opposition in that idiotic senate before breakfast. Palpatine's rise to power was as a subtle as a sledgehammer and about as dull.
The lauded Jedi Council was also a room full of idiots. Blindly they walked into trap after trap and then got slaughtered by the hundreds by flying into an ambush on purpose! "Gee Yoda, maybe we should fly down under cover fire, load up our friends, get the hell out, and nuke the site from orbit." "No no, let's try to attack from the center of the combatants, yeah!"
Did the Jedi, at the height of their power, just not like to use the force? I expect that a few hundred Jedi would have some seriously cool tactics involving force manipulation. But no, all I saw was isolated force pushes and medieval sword twirling.
Bah!
Yep,
I can even take JarJar.. But Hayden Christensen.. makes me sick.. The over use of CG isn't *that* bad.. The only scene in ep II that made me sick was the one w/ Hayden Christensen riding, well, whatever the hell that thing was, in the field... looked like crap..
God I'm sick just thinking about it...
Not that I'm a grammar Nazi, but I do know a little bit about speech.
..
:-P
Not to mention, your analysis is pretty week,
'nuff said.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
I can see the theater soft drink marketing campaign now:
Pepsi: the choice of a GNU/Generation.
http://www.pepsinut.com/pepsi_stars.htm
To-do List: Receive telemarketing call during a tornado warning. Check.
Yeah, they did ruin the movie for me. To say that the bearskin romance scene irritated me is to say that George Lucas has a bit of an ego. As I watched it I was quite literally in physical pain. In comparison, Episode I wasn't as bad. But lord, it wasn't good.
Fax Baba!
Yeah, real clever, let's raise Darth Vader's son using HIS OWN LAST NAME OF SKYWALKER ON HIS HOME PLANET.
I'm not sure about the last name part. But the planet could make sense. After what happened to his mother, DV probably doesn't want to go there again.
Coder's Stone: The programming language quick ref for iPad
In fact EPII was not just the worst Star Wars movie, it was the worst movie I have ever seen. I'm not sure if I can even stomach seeing EPIII ever.
George if you're out there, please stop.
You hit on something when you said that expectations were high. the OT is just a hard act to follow, really. Lucas has had the task to show the history of the OT and make it something the old time SW fans like, whilst still making the NT good by its own merits. It seems that, for some at least, he is failing miserably on the first one.
I haven't watched the new ones in a while, but for me they are the history behind the OT, and seeing how Yoda, Obi-Wan, Anakin, etc. got to be who they are in the OT is what I enjoy most out of the NT. Why does Vader have all that gear on? Who is Luke's mother? How is the scene between Vader and Obi-Wan on the deathstar (where Obi-Wan allows Vader to kill him) significant? What's with this Yoda character?
Along with character development is the political climate and development. Seeing the Emperor's rise to power and the "Birth of the Empire" is also something that I like to see in the NT.
When I was younger, I didn't understand the significance of and the power a Congressman wielded. Anybody but a president seemed insignificant. Now, I understand how important individuals in seemingly insignificant places of power can effect a whole country or planet. With the New Trilogy, I get to watch my perspective on things change. A whole galaxy is effected by some measly embargo and a great evil is born from the whole thing. The power politicians have to effect change is exaggerated in such a way as to show their significance in the NT, and for me at least, it's significant.
Meesa tink dis title sucky sucky
I guess some are more easily turned off then others.
Like Yoda would need a light saber - and if he did, like he wouldn't completely win?Isn't Palpatine about Yoda's level? So who's this Yoda-battle-worthy douche Dooku? Wasn't Douche-ku a pupil of Yoda's? So wouldn't Yoda just stop him dead with the wink of his eye??
All Jedi need a lightsaber. It's just what they do. As for fighting ability, clearly the Dark Side makes you much better at it. Darth Maul held off TWO Jedi without much trouble.
On top of that, why did Yoda need his hands to steady that rock he STRUGGLED with?
Because they couldn't show his wanger? Dooku is pushing a heavy weight that Yoda is counteracting, why wouldn't he struggle?
Oh yeah - and R2 CAN NOT fly - if he could, why the hell didn't he just fly instead of falling in the swamp on Dagobah? Or when the ewoks got him? Or through the desert? Are You going to tell me his jets will be irrepairably damaged in this upcoming puke fest?
The cost of rocket fuel went through the roof after the Clones invaded, so they never refilled his jets.
Hey - if all the stormtroopers are clones of Boba/Jango Fett - why are the Fetts so good and stormtroopers are so comically pathetic?
You ever use a photocopier to make a copy of a copy of a copy? Shit, the Fetts weren't so great anyway. Did you see one of them ever hit a Jedi? Cripes, Boba was taken out by a freakin' BLIND MAN!
Okay, I'm gonna post anonymous, 'cos defending Lucas is too geeky this early in the morning, even for me.
It's a bit disconcerting, don't you think?
--==-- I've found Karma to be a relative thing... Ya know, the kind you invite to Christmas...
Not to put too fine a point on it:
THE. DIALOGUE. STUNK.
Just listen to what the characters are actually saying next time you watch I or II through. I'll give you Hayden Christensen can't act, but when you look at what everybody has to work with you can almost forgive Ewan McGregor and the rest.
qntm.org
"The Empire is Conceived"
now THERE's a movie nerds will want to watch
---- Design. Invent. Cheese.
... the videogame Star Trek: Birth Of The Federation..
That has got to be the funniest thing I've read in a long while!
"Go ahead, mod me down as though I were some sort of nerd heretic."
Moderators--DON'T DO IT! He will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
My problem is Lucas put a bunch of stuff in the first 3 that couldn't have happened, given how the later 3 already went.
I mean, R2D2 flies? Why didn't he fly himself out of trouble in 4,5 or 6? Better yet, if they have cheap levitation, why does the table in the cafe they meet in in Ep 2 have legs? Who wants to bark their shins on table legs when you could prevent it?
If they had robot soldiers in Ep 2, why do they still have people as strormtroopers in 4,5 and 6? They're just subsceptible to Jedi mind tricks.
Oh, and then there's the awful dialogue, as pointed out below.
`cat /dev/null >/dev/existence` ? ;-)
I don't remember Tolkien writing about elves (the Jedi of Middle Earth) surfing down the sides of oliphants, but Peter Jackson seemed to make the scene work.
"ALL stories, written by ANYONE can be found to have similarities to previous stories, as all stories are simply variations on the hero myth and have the same story arc of crisis leading to resolution"
You have obviously never seen a French film. Resolution? Bah!
Creative Demolition
Speaking of which. Did anybody else blurt out "Count Dookie?" in the theater? Back in my D&D hey-days I came up with some rather stupid names for characters but DooKu has to take the cake. Even Jar-Jar is better.
I don't want knowledge. I want certainty. - Law, David Bowie
Skeet Surfin' U.S.A.
The original first three star wars movies are the ...
Afterbirth of the Empire!
"Come on, the Zahn books were even worse than the prequels."
Gotta disagree with you there. I loved the Zahn books.
"The story arc was *identical* to the original trilogy, but with such "clever" substitutions as a mining city built on top of AT-ATs instead of antigravity systems, and the Katana (nice breach of continuity, that name) fleet instead of the two Death Stars."
Katana fleet - eh. That didn't bother me so much. The AT-AT thing I thought was clever - it was a nifty application of known technology to a plausible problem. Working entirely within the universe like that and still creating something nifty is not so simple. It has whatever fiction's equiliant to the "ring of truth" would be.
"The characterizations were only vaguely reminiscent of those in the films."
I would say they had matured. Made sense - trying to found a Republic will do that to you. I thought they were actually portrayed very well. Remember, too - in books you have a different level of intimacy with the characters than on a TV screen.
"Every planet had a name with seven apostrophes in it. The evil Ewok ninja creatures were totally dorky, and so were the bevy of characters (e.g. Thrawn, Mara Jada) who were always conveniently off-screen during the films."
Huh - there again I enjoyed all those elements. (Well, not so worried about planet names, but these at least didn't grate on me like some have.)
"It was full of lame prequel-esque stunts like the one where Luke slides down a wall by holding his saber in one hand to gouge a recess and his other to grip it as it's created."
As opposed to falling down a huge shaft and getting sucked out an exhaust port? I thought again that was a clever use of known technology. Nothing terribly over the top about it. Nowhere near jumping out of a flying car and landing safely.
"The only official Star Wars material I've read that was worse than the Zahn books was the Crystal one with the machines that suck people's souls out with arcs of electricity."
Then you have missed some (or maybe they weren't official). Some of them are OK, but there are a few pieces of steaming turd out there too.
"I do agree about the surfing on lava thing. I knew Lucas was going to figure out some way to make this potentially awesome film terrible. This just further convinces me that he's going to do something totally stupid to the original trilogy for the DVD release, like stick some Gungans in the Mos Eisley cantina and/or piloting ships at the battle of Endor."
Probably. He already messed up the ending of ROTJ.
"I object to doing things that computers can do." -- Olin Shivers, lispers.org
"3 by my count, but close"
// "Can't clowns and pirates just -try- to get along?"
So who's this Yoda-battle-worthy douche Dooku? Wasn't Douche-ku a pupil of Yoda's? So wouldn't Yoda just stop him dead with the wink of his eye??
Hey, wasn't Anakin a student of Obi-Wan's? And Obi didn't even entertain the idea of defeating him in ANH, all he could hope for was to stall him. Perhaps Vader gets a bit of a force boost from being Palpatine's Vassel? But then wouldn't Dooku get that too? Perhaps Ben was just getting a little long in the tooth? Like Yoda?
Hey - if all the stormtroopers are clones of Boba/Jango Fett - why are the Fetts so good and stormtroopers are so comically pathetic?
Cloning sickness. Palpatine has to clone enough storm troopers to enforce martial law over most of the galaxy, in (at most) a couple of decades.
(Implication : Number of troops required >> number of cloning cylinders. So time for each clone's 'gestation' is far less than the time until A New Hope)
So the troops have been cloned far too rapidly, and are therefore seriously flawed. That's what ysalamiri are for.
Episode 1:
Good - The overall plot of Palpatine's manipulations to gain control of the Republican.
Bad - It's possibly *too* subtle. Even at the end, one of my friends *still* didn't realize he was Darth Sidious.
Good - Ewan McGreggor and Liam Neeson.
Bad - Everything about Anakin and JAR JAR.
Bad - Having R2D2 and C3PO be present.
Bad - Midichlorines.
Bad - The trade alliance droids.
Bad - Pretty much all the dialogue.
Bad - Everything related to Jar Jar's people and their battle later on.
Bad - A democraticly elected MONARCH? Come on.
Bad - Anakin blowing up the droid control ship.
Good - Darth Maul.
Bad - He's hardly in it.
Episode 2:
Good - Nearly everything in the Obi-Wan side of things.
Good - Dooku's conversation with Obi-Wan where he portrays himself as a rebel against the insidious dark side which is taking over the empire and needs Obi-Wan's help.
Bad - Obi-Wan automagically deciding he's evil.
Bad - EVERYTHING on the Anakin/Padme side of things. The romance is laughably bad.
Good - Yoda. (I'm in the minority)
Good - Obi-Wan.
Bad - Anakin.
Bad - Droids vs clones = Big battles where no one 'real' gets hurt. Hundreds die and I couldn't give a shit. Compare this to ANH where a handful of nearly anonymous pilots die, but we watch them scream in their cockpits. WE CARE as a result.
Good - Jar Jar dooms the Republic.
Bad - Pretty much everything on the trade federation planet.
Bad - The dialogue... AGAIN.
Basically, the foundations for good movies are there. That's what's so frustrating. We could've had really good movies, but Lucas shovelled shit on top of them in the form of pandering to developmentally disabled two-year-olds and TOYS R US.
And there's a not deleted scene where Owen introduces his girlfriend Beru.
That which is done from love exists beyond good and evil
I think we're all smart enough to auto populate this text field....
Until I see an official dvd release of the original 3 movies, as they were edited in the 80s, with no added digital jabbas walking around, and without horrible late-90s smooth jazz in ROtJ, I will be boycotting all George-Lucas related everything, including (and most importantly) the movies themselves. I encourage you all to do the same. Please do not let this be a reason for you to tell me why the movies shouldn't be boycotted, because I don't care. You're either with me or against me!
Matt, soon to lose my good karma.
"...I will only see it three more times. Today."
-obligatory Comic Book Guy quote
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Anyway, for those of you whining inevitably about the title, think about the double-meaning of "birth." Ahh... yeah... there ya go. Not such a bad title, huh? Or maybe I should apologize because that takes away another reason for you to bitch and moan about how badly George Lucas ruined your life.
--Rick "If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why."
Wouldn't that make episode I the "Date Rape of the Republic"?
Read Pynchon.
After all, he did fail to even get appointed to the position he'd hoped for by writing The Prince.
People rag on eps I&II because they're not the same as the OT. Lucas supposedly had the whole plot worked out back in the 70s and chose to make the middle trilogy first as he considered that it would be the best received, and that people would then watch the other episodes, having been smitten by the originals. This has worked (most people - i assume - watched the new movies before ragging on them). The problem is as follows: eps 1-3 occur earlier in the SW galaxy than eps 4-6, by on-the-order-of decades, right? The old republic was supposed to have lasted for 1000 generations, so we would expect the technology in 1-3 to be less advanced than in 4-6 ,but not by much - 10s of years of development after 25000+ years of space-faring is not going to be too revolutionary.
However, Lucas now has far greater special effects at his disposal, and so he makes the ships etc look MORE futuristic than in the originals. It just doesn't gel. He COULD have just made ships look the same (level-of-technology-wise), but rendered much prettier, and this would have perhaps justified piping some of that CG muscle into other things, like water-cored planets etc. However he did these silly things and STILL made ships that look more futuristic, and then made them sound like 1940s prop-driven passenger planes.
If he intended to use these creations in eps 1-3 he should have COMPLETELY revamped 4-6, and given those ships a jump on (or at least put them on par with) the ships in the new trilogy.
As it stands it's really difficult to kid one's self that the new movies take place in the same galaxy at a slightly earlier time than the originals.
Out of my deepest love for Star Wars, and not being a fanboy like the rest of the world seems to be, I'm actually looking forward to this movie. I think that the title actually works. I mean.. come on! Who cares if Episode One is not as good as Episode Four and so on? They are all in the same series... so I don't judge one over the other. Star Wars is Star Wars.. always has been... always will be. Long live George Lucas.. and Han Solo!
"Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
Eps I and II are sterile. They're like what Spock would do if he was a director. (God save me, did I actually just say that??) Everyone looks perfect on their perfect sets reciting their perfect (though horrendous) lines. But it's unemotional, and lacking in human depth.
IMO, there was way too much time and money spent on making everything look just so, and in delivering this huge story arc, and in the end I don't give a damn because it seems practically none of it is about the characters -- they're just there as vehicles to convey Lucas's Story As Myth concept. And it seems the actors know it -- they mostly don't even seem to bother trying to act most of the time. The ones that do stand out are Liam Neeson, Christopher Lee, and Ian McDiarmid. Oh, and Ray Park delivered a great performance as Darth Maul.
That isn't to say I think Episodes 4-6 are fantastic. Frankly, they aren't great, as movies. Campy dialogue, rather stereotypical characters, and the acting left something to be desired there too, but there was some real creativity in there and I actually give a damn about the characters and what happens to them. Even now as an old 30-something year old, having seen them many times as a kid (and now enjoying my own son watching them).
nt
After all, IIRC Neo's name was something like Thomas Anderson.
The sending of this message pretty much inconveniences everyone involved.
classy title but surfing on lava sounds like another jarjar binks marketing idea
Yeah, yeah, Peter Jackson is the greatest director evar, the LOTR trilogy wasn't full of crappy dialogue and lame scenes and shiatty editing, and the whole oliphaunt thing, minus the craptacular trunk-surfing bit, wasn't a direct rip-off of the AT-ATs on Hoth.
All hail our Directorial Overlord Jackson!
You mean deja vi don't you?
SCOrm Trooper: "halt!"
Obi-Wan Kernelbi: "These aren't the sources you are looking for."
SCOrm Trooper: "...These aren't the sources I'm looking for..."
i'll go see it...
After I spent all that time whoring karma so us ac's will eventually be able to post at 1, you go and try to burn it all down.
Two things you miss: the awful acting, and the awful writing. I'd agree that the overriding plot seems fine, if uninteresting because you're not compelled to care too much about anything thats going on. Thats a little true of the originals though. The trouble with the writing is that its just not clever. Old Star Wars had a few good lines in every movie. Theres nothing like that in either of the prequels. In fact, most of the dialog seems forced and unnatural, like they're reciting Shakespeare. Couple all that with the entirely-too-overt use of CGI, and a few Lucas lets-sell-merchandise(tm) characters, and you have a shitty set of movies.
No, Lucas would never allow that. But that's only part of the problem.
I've seen Fan Films on theforce.net that have better stories and more passion than the first two prequels. Films, that given a proper budget, would make for a much more interesting and entertaining film than what we've been given.
The problem isn't Lucas or his inept story telling. The real problem is the 90+ year term of copyrights.
I was born in 1973. Even though the copyright on the original Star Wars will technically end and enter the public domain around 2070 (unless the industry successfully lobbies congress for yet another extension), it might as well be forever since I would never be able to use it. There is a good chance, barring any serious illness or death, that I will die sometime before then.
The original Star Wars came out when I was kid. I can't help but have been influenced by it. I have some ideas I would love to work on. Not just for Star Wars, but other original concepts as well. While I think people would like my ideas, they're ideas I'm afraid to work on. They draw so heavily from the influences of various media in my youth that there would be a good chance I'd be sued for some form of infringement.
We shouldn't need Lucas's permission to tell a story in the Star Wars universe. In a sane world the original Star Wars would have passed into the public domain two years ago. We could then tell the stories ourselves.
Pete...
Search the net for the leaked Ep3 fight footage. It should help reassure you that there will be some great scenes in there. In one of the clips a Jedi squares off against 3 guys in green suits holding lightsabers.
I recall reading an interview or maybe it was in the leak that as it stood then it was the longest sword fight in cinema history.
As for the "surfboards" that everyones complainng about remember they have repulsorlifts so they wont be actually on the lava. Theyre floating platforms controled with your feet or leaning your body. It could easily be a cool scene if done right. I say wait and see.
To anyone who is still complaining about how much the prequels are sucking:
Remember that they are coming from the guy who wasted his fortune on Howard the Duck.
After seeing that movie, it should have become obvious what was in store once he announced work on the Star Wars prequels.
Never confuse feeling with thinking.
this is so true. the OT had the same simplistic plot and dialogs that one would associate with the prequels. Star Wars movies were always made for kids. Don't believe me? Forget you memories of the OT and watch the whole thing again. For most people who like the OT, they like it because they saw as a child, in which case would not have noticed the faults of the films. Now that they've all grown up, the prequels appear to suck you notice in the prequels what you have not noticed in the OT.
Yes, their nearly limitless power, that still fails to save one of them from horrible burns when they fall into that lava.
Realism isn't as important as CONSISTANCY.
Pulp Audio Weekly - Geek News and Reviews
WHAT does Lucas have to do? Remember, even the ORIGINAL movies were made FOR KIDS pretty much. Also, it's Science FICTION. If there's a place for implausible stunts, Sci-Fi is it! Also, Lucas does not have to stick to some standard just because you want him to. All he has to do is make Fox money and he's definitely going to do that! For chrissakes you guys are sounding like the fat comic book guy and are saying WORST SEQUAL EVER before the movie is even given a chance!
Gorkman
it could have been worse
Jar-Jar Returns?
The Death of Jar Jar
There will always be Natalie Portman. I just moved to Boston shortly before she moved to SOHO (NYC)... My lucky friend got to hang out with her at a few parties at Harvard. Lucky bastard. Oh well... i'm luckily moving to NYC soon, and SOHO is really nice :)
Tibbon
tibbon.com
Warning, this will probably get modded as a troll post..
Let's see...
(X) Bitch about George Lucas making oodels of $$
(X) Bitch about how stupid the titles are for the prequels
(X) Bitch about how the story sucks
(X) Bitch about all things Star Wars Prequel
(X) Pay my $10 to see it
There is the paradox!
---- You have been programmed by the Illuminati to not see the word ""!
"Their" is a perfectly acceptable way to express genderless possession. Popular usage defines the language, not the other way around. Slash notation is cumbersome and, frankly, pisses me off. Gender alternation is just plain weird.
-If
Run a pencil-and-paper RPG campaign with your far-off friends: Gametable!
Just from memory:
"You were right about one thing, master. The negotiations were short."
"Why do I sense we've picked up another pathetic life form?"
"Fear leads to anger... anger leads to hatred... (you know the rest)."
"There's always a bigger fish."
"Wipe them out... all of them."
"We shall pay very close attention to your career."
"But Master Obi-Wan told me to stay here." "No, he told you to protect me. And I'm going to help him. You'll just have to come along."
"You'll be the death of me, young padawan."
--Rick "If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why."
Not that I'm a grammar Nazi,
but I do know a bit about speech
Not to mention your analysis is pretty week
Correcting a fellow slashdotter
sounds enough like you preach
but doing it while screwing it takes cheak
that you guys don't get about the grandparent's post? I thought it was very well thought out...
At long range, the electric fields of a closely-spaced pair of oppositely-charged particles will cancel, if the charges are similar in magnitude. I think this effect is what Lucas had in mind.
As for the lava surfing: George Lucas lost his touch 2 prequels and 3 Special editions ago, what did you expect?
Be who you are and say what you feel, because the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind.
That was not a movie, dude, that was REAL, like, that really happened!! Come on! We all saw the web site!!!
Dear aunt, let's set so double the killer delete select all
Then this means Episode 3 will do less than $300 million USD....Hence the 'proof' of the law of diminishing returns.
But then again, if Episoded 3 is not 'craptacular', I could be wrong....
Betcha 'Han' goes and sees one of his senior officers played by Harrison Ford himself (in an uncredited cameo -- why bother, the SW crowd knows what he looks like)!
Any chance the 'cameo thing' will be done for Mark Hamil and Carrie Fisher (and possibly Billy Dee Williams and 'unmasked' David Prowse, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, and Anthony Daniels [who had a 'real' cameo in AOTC?])?
Maybe,...maybe not.
If they did, the secrecy needed would make the NSA green with envy....
In this way, the principal cast from Episodes 4, 5, and 6 appear in unrelated, cameo roles in Episode 3, the last film of the second('first'?) trilogy.
PS: Whaddayaknow! Daniels did voiceover work on Ralph Bakshi's LOTR film as Legolas thus (tenuously) linking the Peter Jackson LOTR film trilogy with the Star Wars film series.
I think Hayden Christansen's worst scene to date was with Natalie Portman and the (in)famous 'fireplace scene' from AOTC.
I was wincing inwardly watching that scene!
However, if Lucas's aim was to convey awkwardness in Anakin toward his relationship to Amidala, he succeeded handily in spades.... Otherwise, that scene is BAD BAD BAD!
Remember the (barely) restrained fury of Anakin when he brought is mother's body to the Skywalker homestead? I thought that was a brilliant bit of acting from Christansen along with John William's (memorable) music playing during that bit: memorable and scary! I think this scene showed Anakin Skywalker becoming Darth Vader better than anything else in AOTC--including 'BOTE' where all he has to do is put on the (in)famous suit of armor/life support system after is 'lava bath'....
Except 'their' could cause confusion over number. Is it one stormtrooper or a troop? Using the common gender (his) is the most common but that's under fire from feminists.
Mario Cuomo used to use "her" as the common gender (eg: when the next governor is elected, I hope fortune will smile upon her.") I think that is more inclusive than "his" and not as confusing as "their".
Of course, _real_ geeks use Spivak Pronouns. I hope each prickly grammarian learns them as if eir life depended on it.
My father is a blogger.
Mommy! Georgie won'w play nice! He won't do things EXACTLY AS I WANT THEM!! *sniff* *sniff* WAAAAH!!!
Get a grip!
---- It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It does this whenever it's told.
...everyone knocks these movies and bashes the shit out of them LONG before they're even released, yet they're the amongst the first to see the damn thing and are the same people who clamor about it when it comes out on DVD.
Regardless of how crappy you think it's gonna be, you're still gonna go see it, so what's the point of complaining about Lucas' "Hollywood Mansion" or "wow, just another way to make more money" if you're just gonna turn around and shell out the cash either way?
We have secretly replaced these Slashdot mods' sense of humor with a rusty nail. Let's see if they notice!!
Here you go!
http://soundwavs.trekkieguy.com/2/37/lie.wav
go to
http://soundwavs.trekkieguy.com/
first if 'direct linking' is not allowed.
Above links are not clickable to avoid Slashdotting and possible abuse issues....
That
Mod parent up! (^_^)
Rest In Peace, Mr. Roger C. Carmel (Harry Mudd).... (-_-)
Now, if they fired Lucas and made the Zahn books into movies then they could rekindle the franchise, but Lucas would never allow that.
That would actually be worth the overinflated movie ticket prices.
Unlike Episodes 1-3 which are mostly a waste of money to see in the theater... but some things are best seen on the big screen.
Like Natalie Portman.
Given the dialogue that Lucas Wrote for the first two steaming piles of Bantha waste I suspect he may very well have labored long and hard over the titles to get them to align like that, never once realizing his grasp of grammar was rudimentary at best.
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
"The more posts you moderate, the more your moderation points slip through your fingers."
Han Solo is a space-cowboy
:)
That's funny, because some people call me the Space Cowboy... Or was that the Gangster of Love?
And no, I'm not going to explain it!
My pants! I came in right in my pants!
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
And I hear that Darth Poochy is just bitchin', man.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Surfing on Lava is SOOOOO last century.
What about Lava Jet-skis?
These are my friends, See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light.
More Lucas inconsistencies. For a brief, shining moment there, something made sense. Thanks George!
I think the new movie is going to toss salad.
Sold out?
The new ROTJ ending 'overture', 'Victory Celebration', enabled me to 'cut together' bits of the end titles to the Original Trilogy into a nearly 13 minute suite that sounds fabulous.
I'm not sure something like this will ever be possible again. This 'work', which I call 'Star Wars Trilogy Finale', is the penultimate expression of the genius and professionalism of:
Composer John Williams
Orchestrator Herber W. Spencer
The London Symphony Orchestra
Recording Engineer Eric Tomilson
and the Audio Engineers at RCA responsible for the remastered audio of the 3 soundtracks for the 6-CD set release of the score trilogy back in 1997.
The end result of the efforts of the above named entities is a musical work that flows from beginning to end from ROTJ to ANH to TESB and back to ROTJ--A musical jorney encompassing some 20 years. It was edited together using Cool Edit from the EAC-extracted CD audio. The edits were simple, consisting of digitaly splicing the first ~3:20 of 'Victory Celebration and Finale' from ROTJ with the 'interludes' from ANH and TESB, followed by the remainder of 'Victory Celebration and Finale' from ROTJ. The hard part was getting the three edit points just right. In the end, a classical music aficianado who has never heard of Star Wars (if such people exist) would be convinced that this work is a single unified work and not a composite amalgamation of four pieces of music composed over a 20-odd year timeframe.
Maybe someday I might do the same thing to the unremastered version of the Original Trilogy end themes for the 'Yub Nub' version of 'Star Wars Trilogy Finale' as I have the 4-CD anthology from 1993.
I suppose once the Episode 3 soundtrack is released, I could 'cut in' the interludes to TPM, AOTC and 'BOTE' into the existing work described above for even more listening enjoyment as the 'Star Wars Saga Finale'....
Actually it always seemed to me that Vader was completely unaware that he had a son untill they encountered each other.
It's really the only explanation for not finding at least one of his children sooner. I can't believe the Emperor would exterminate the Jedi and then just give up triing to find the offspring of the most powerful Jedi ever born.
I mean Leia was a senator. She likely spoke to both Vader and the Emperor in person several times and even with Palpatine's extraordinary ability to farsee they never suspected a thing.
Probably because they never had any reason to suspect Vader had kids.
Iain McDairmid has a nude scene in Ep3?
/. libido when they find out Natalie Portman is also in that scene. A beowulf cluster of hard-ons, if you will.
Imagine the reaction of the collective
--
E_NOSIG
I've never seen the entire original trilogy. The extent of my knowledge is gleaned from Spaceballs, pop culture references, and a few scenes from A New Hope. I didn't like Episodes I and II, and it has nothing to do with any comparison the other original trilogy.
Some problems:
Special effects over storytelling. This is the same problem I had with The Matrix (yes, I'm a nerd heretic all the way around). Movies are a visual medium, yes, but that doesn't mean you can abandon storytelling. For example, Lucas took one of the best love story plots--one person protecting another who's not really interested, they fall in love--and made it both unbelievable and deadly dull.
Uninspiring visuals. Having known going into them that Lucas was so focused on special effects, I was extremely surprised by how bad both movies looked. I found this to be more of a problem in Episode II, which has only two or three well-framed shots. Of course, imdb's trivia tells me that at least one of those is a copy of a shot from the original trilogy, so he really didn't do much here.
Bad editing. This has been mentioned in a comment above in relationship to cutting a scene that made Episode I make more sense. I had a problem with the editing of the climactic battle scene in Episode I. Just as the suspense was starting to build, he cut away to some other piece of the action. I found this technique worked for me in Star Trek: Nemesis, but not here.
Stupid (in a coolness sense) characters. Anakin in Episode I is so annoying a child that he has no choice but to go to the Dark Side. Anakin in Episode II is exactly like my brother at age 15 (think sulky teenager), which makes it hard to take him seriously.
Stupid (in an intelligence sense) characters. Why couldn't Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan figure out that Padme was really Amidala? She was so unsubtle.
Try reading
More surfing to melt brains!
that first line should be:
Lava is a mass of incandescent glass
Generally speaking a US release is either done on a Wednesday or a Friday. So the release date should be either May 13th, 18th, or 20th going by the range the slashdot blurb sugguests. Judging what they have done in the past I almost guarentee a wednesday release, possibly with midnight showings tuesday night.
Just so it gets said clearly... This Yoda's-light- hidden-by-dead-dark-aura idea comes from Timothy Zahn. First it gets theorized by Luke either in Heir to the Empire or Specter of the Past (I know it was one of the first-part-of-the mini-series books) and the story of that battle is told in Vision of the future.
Hiding a flashlight in a dark room = bad example
Mixing a cup of hot water with a cup of cold water to make 2 cups of luke-warm water = good example
Mod me redundant if you have to, I'm just making sure it's all said here. And I don't have an account anyway.
Wow, way to miss the point. It's not that I want things changed to my liking, I want things left the way they originally were for years. That's a perfectly reasonable request. Make both versions available or whatever. Besides, boycotting a sci-fi fantasy movie isn't exactly throwing a tantrum, it's staying home and doing something else when the movie comes out. I still encourage others to do the same. It shouldn't be difficult considering the level of quality of episodes I and II.
Matt
It's not that I want things changed to my liking, I want things left the way they originally were for years.
Well, Lucas breathed life into those stories and was always dissappointed about how they were because of certain scenes he felt he always wanted in there. He finally got to do things the way he always wanted to do it. He's the creator of the movies and this is the way he likes it. It's his baby, not yours. He decides what goes into them now. I don't see how a couple of special effects-laden scenes has ruined the movie for anyone.
It's just a few scenes. Does it have to be _exactly_ as you saw it when you were a tadpole?
---- It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It does this whenever it's told.
Sigh, gotta post anonymously when you mess with other people's media....
Sorry for the repost but I added 'Victor' below to properly indentify RCA Victor, the record label that put out the 6-CD Star Wars Trilogy soundtracks back in 1997.
I also added 'et. al.' where needed as seen below AND spell orchestrator Herbert W. Spencer's name right.
Sold out?
The new ROTJ ending 'overture', 'Victory Celebration', enabled me to 'cut together' bits of the end titles to the Original Trilogy into a nearly 13 minute suite that sounds fabulous.
I'm not sure something like this will ever be possible again. This 'work', which I call 'Star Wars Trilogy Finale', is the penultimate expression of the genius and professionalism of:
Composer John Williams
Orchestrator Herbert W. Spencer
The London Symphony Orchestra, et. al.
Recording Engineer Eric Tomilson, et. al.
and the Audio Engineers at RCA Victor responsible for the remastered audio of the 3 soundtracks for the 6-CD set release of the score trilogy back in 1997.
The end result of the efforts of the above named entities is a musical work that flows from beginning to end from ROTJ to ANH to TESB and back to ROTJ--A musical jorney encompassing some 20 years. It was edited together using Cool Edit from the EAC-extracted CD audio. The edits were simple, consisting of digitaly splicing the first ~3:20 of 'Victory Celebration and Finale' from ROTJ with the 'interludes' from ANH and TESB, followed by the remainder of 'Victory Celebration and Finale' from ROTJ. The hard part was getting the three edit points just right. In the end, a classical music aficianado who has never heard of Star Wars (if such people exist) would be convinced that this work is a single unified work and not a composite amalgamation of four pieces of music composed over a 20-odd year timeframe.
Maybe someday I might do the same thing to the unremastered version of the Original Trilogy end themes for the 'Yub Nub' version of 'Star Wars Trilogy Finale' as I have the 4-CD anthology from 1993.
I suppose once the Episode 3 soundtrack is released, I could 'cut in' the interludes to TPM, AOTC and 'BOTE' into the existing work described above for even more listening enjoyment as the 'Star Wars Saga Finale'....
Oh, that was different.
I was thinking of the scene where he confesses to Amidala that he "killed them, every last one of them." yada yada.
And when, a few minutes earlier the camera swoops in on his scowling face as he cocks that lightsaber over his head and is just about to start whacking left and right with it - that was overdone.
But when he gets to be subtle and silent, Mr Anakin can be very good. He's just too young to make a good job of such a mealymouthed script. When they make him speak such utter drivel, that's when I have to stop myself from gagging.
The sad thing is that all makes more sense than episodes 1 and 2 put togather.
In July O7, I got a mac pro. There's no punchline. Just endless joy and wonder.