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Star Wars II: Return of the Name
Mutant was among the onslaught of readers who submitted that the final name has been chosen for Star Wars Episode II. It is... Attack of the Clones. Let the sarcasm commence. I'll pass judgement after I see it.
Nah - unless they trade sabres during the fight, you'll know if it's the "good clone" or the "bad clone" by the color of the sabre -- red = "evil" anything else = "good".
;P
Or by the goatee - everyone knows the evil version always has a goatee
They changed it from "Revenge of the Jedi" because as Lucas's wife pointed out, JEDI'S DONT GET REVENGE!
"Not my manner of thinking but the manner of thinking of others has been the source of my unhappiness." - M
I second the emotion. I laughed so hard I almost shit myself. Unlike Lucas, I'd have had to use plain old bog paper.
StaticEngine, you da man!
>One thing I will admit is that I never caught on to how stupid and obvious the name Darth (in)Vader was
Ha, now imagine being in Germany, where the name Vader is suspiciously close to the word "Vater",
which incidentally means... Father.
Agreed, and certainly Ep. I didn't do it for me as much as I hoped.
On The Other Hand, X-Men pretty much did. You can ask my friends who were there with me - I spent practically the whole movie curled up in my chair, mouthing 'Rock On' at ever cool bit of niftiness they didn't screw up too badly. It was sooo much better than it could have been in almost all of the ways that mattered. It was great, and I have hopes for the new Spider Man movie coming out sometime before Duke Nukem Forever. And Ep. I could have done that. I liked it a fair bit, enjoyed it even, and got a kick out of the action stuff. It's nice to see that Jedi were really impressive. Palpitine rocked, although I doubt I would have appreciated it as much if I didn't know he was Emperor Palpitine. And so on.
But it could have been better. Lets hope he gets back the guy who directed Empire to direct Clone Attack.
Circa 1977:
Circa 1999:
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
George's number two at Lucasfilm and favoured second unit director is Roger Christian. The genius who brought us 'Battlefield Earth'.
I think the best comment about this issue was from Mark Hamill, when he was on "Politcially Incorrect".
He was asked, just before TPM came out, "Why after all these years, is Star Wars such a huge movie? It had lousy acting, story line isn't great..."
His reply was, "It's a fairy tale in space. You have an evil wizard, good wizard, magic, naive farm boy, pirates, monsters, the princess in distress..." You wrap it up in some amazing sfx and you've got a great and fun movie.
Vip
Who said he ever could write a decent script? In an introduction to one of the recent SW books (which had the shooting script for one of the original movies -- I forget which), Lucas mentions that another writer gave him a lot of help with the dialogue.
send all spam to theotherwhitemeat@ropine.com
I like enjoying myself too, through means of pleasuring myself.
WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
I saw Ep. IV in the theaters when I was seven. Don't remember much about the experience except the trash compactor scene and the final mission. Still, I do remember my Dad's take:
"I'm sitting in the theater and the film opens with this lame title sequence rolling off into space. The title fades to black and suddenly a spaceship comes in from the top of the screen. I'm thinking, 'OK, I've seen this before.' Five seconds later, a second ship slowly emerges . . . and keeps emerging, and keeps emerging until finally the whole screen is filled and the whole theater is shaking from the sound of it.
"I'm thinking, "OK, I haven't seen that before.'"
Frankly, that's all I wanted from Ep. I. It didn't have to be Shakespearean drama, but you at least expected a quantum leap in special effects/action similar to what James Cameron pulled off with Terminator II. IIRC, the first scene in Ep. I is a ship flying toward some donut-shaped space station with a lot of weak dialogue about treaties, embargoes and whatnot. Right then and there, you knew it was going to be lame. Jar Jar or no Jar Jar.
You know, since I feel asleep watching TPM, I never noticed that. I'm surprised people weren't protesting it as kiddie porn.
You're right about picking the worst child actor in the world. Although, with the lines they gave him, I'm not sure how well Sir Lawrence Olivier would have done.
"It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times." Bill Hicks
see subject. why bother putting content here, it'll just get modded down anyway.
I've been watching the fifth season of B5 and it's total crap.
:)
Wasn't most of the fifth season filler? JMS had to speed up the main story arc and end it by the end of the fourth season (thinking they wouldn't be renewed). It's been a while since I've seen B5, but the first and last seasons were weaker than the rest, IMHO. When it was good, it was very good indeed
deus does not exist but if he does
I know I'd like to see them as 7,8, and 9. They were my childhood; I read them long before I ever saw any of the movies.
The real unitron has Slashdot ID 5733, and needs to change his sig.
reminds me of an old Azimov short story... 'trapped! trapped! on a world full of giant aunts!'
I don't agree. Alien was a better suspense move than Aliens was. Aliens was a better action move than Alien was. Same universe, but a bit like comparing Apples to Oranges. I'd call them equal in that regard.
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Jed Babbin
Ewoks do not bother any of my non-geek friends. Why do all geeks hate them with a passion, then?
Ewoks aren't hated because they are cute, they are hated because they are cute teddy bears who took out a legion of Star Wars. That was bullshit, and what you seem to have been missing.
WHY? A lot of people here seem to think that "if it's dark, it's good" or even "if it's not dark, it sucks". Again, WHY?
Nobody has ever said that. If the Ewoks were just peacefull forest dwellers, nobody would have cared.
Think about it.
I just LOVE vladinator's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read vladinator's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out vladinator's site, you don't know what you're missing!
HEY! Pokemon rocks man... Gotta catch 'em all man...
I thought they were cybermen.
So, do you think Spielberg will throw in time travel in the last movie just so he can use some of the original cast and make the plots even more stupid than they already are...oh wait, that's Rick Berman...
Aw bugger! Sorry to hear that.
A book, written for children, in which the child leads are all killed off -- and that's presented as a "happy ending"? Stuff Christianity, that's un-Christian!
I agree completely. But additions by the author can have an unpleasant effect on the audience, who may have been expecting something different. With "Star Wars" (bringing us belatedly back on topic), it looks like many fans-from-childhood were disappointed that the new film appealed to current children, not to thirtysomething original audience members. The examples I suggested take other paths:
-
Earthsea - a "mature" sequel to a kids' trilogy;
-
Narnia - a pretty shocking ending to a series intended for kids;
-
Middle-Earth - progressively more "complex" add-ons to a kids' book
The thing is, if you enjoyed the "originals" as kids' stuff, you don't necessarily want the add-ons to be more complex. Do we really want to see "dark", "edgy", "adult" themes in kiddie-lit sequels? I doubt it. I want my kids to be able to enjoy the same simple pleasures as me. Including films and books that are aimed at kids, not aging nerds like us.know why? This is why http://www.blueharvest.net/images/prequel/episode2 /natalie.jpg
---
How can the 4th post be redundent?
The ultimate network admin tool needs HELP!
This probably has something to do with the grand and varied explications people had for it. Let me ask a question:
Would you have enjoyed Episode I more if you didn't read the articles, watch the endless news reports/ads, avoided the commercials and stayed away from person/website that contained speculation about Episode I content?
In short if you ignored the hype about Episode One. Would you have found it to be a better movie? (I admit it would impossible to ignore all the hype for the average human considering the ad campaign)
I would NOT put Joss Whedon on that list. I think he does a great job at being The Man and putting together a good show... but his dialogue is weak. Well, it's GOOD, actually... but I was noticing the other day that all the characters in his shows sound the same. The actors/acresses give some life and variation, of course, but imagine reading all the lines in a typical episode... everyone sounds the same. The same wisecracks, the same modes of speech...
YMMV, but man, I just can't put JW in the same league as KS and QT. The latter 2 have a serious gift for dialogue.
Was The Odyssey deep? Of course not. It was half blood and gore and half hot, sexy sea nymphs. Was Beowulf deep? Of course not, it was a super-human hero killing evil critters left and right.
There are, in Western culture at least, certain common images and settings that we have come to expect. They're an unwritten cultural and artistic language. "White" is the good guy, "Black" is the bad guy. Good guys have blond hair, bad guys have deep voices. The good guy doesn't kill the bad guy when he's down. Forests are places of mysticism. In American culture, the freedom-loving underdog rebels are always the good guys over the evil imperial military hegemony. (See also: American Revolution. Why do you think all Imperial officers have British accents?)
Star Wars very deliberately and openly plays into every single one of those. It is the "classic" and "quintessential" epic good vs. evil saga, because it pulls in every one of the things that we have come to expect in good vs. evil sagas over the past 2500 years. All good classics have things that you can anchor yourself on and use as a springboard into the plot. If Luke wasn't a goody two-shoes, no one would have liked him. If Han wasn't a "lovable rogue" but was really a nasty guy through and through, everyone would have hated him and Leah hooking up.
We're expecting too much from a saga that was intended not to break new plot ground, but to be a damn fun watch. And it was, because we like seeing the underdog good guys win by being good guys and the evil controlling imperial bad guys go down because they're the bad guys. Accept Star Wars for what it is: A hot damn fun adventure story in the style of classic adventure stories throughout the ages.
Do that, and you can even live with the Ewoks and Jar Jar. (I happen to like the Ewoks, they're cute!)
--GrouchoMarx
Card-carrying member of the EFF, FSF, and ACLU. Are you?
Attack of the Munchies!
There is no level of flamage to adequately expess my my dislike of Kevin Smith as a director even when I like his work. Or rather, what is good in his work snuck past his obsessive deathgrip. Granted his lines are sometimes good, but I definately think he lost a lot of prime material for having a god complex about his scripts.
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shakes the clone...
"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." (Leia to Tarkin. How many times has the plucky revolutionary said something similar to the dictator in numerous other settings?)
Matt Groenig (simpsons and futurama) said that the secret of great sci-fi is that it isn't really about the future or the past (or another dimension, etc.). It's about the present.
Putting modern day situations into a sci-fi setting is what good sci-fi story telling is all about. For example watch Star Trek 6 The Undiscovered Country (arguably the the third best trek movie, although it does get very cheesy at the end) and see how many references to the cold war you can spot (the film tried to mirror recent events with the soviet union in the early 90's). The film starts with the explosion of the Klingon energy production moon of Praxis, this represents the chernobly disaster, and this is just the first of many references in the film.
Space opera isn't necessarily kid fare. It needs to be done as if it is a _masterpiece_. Yes, everything is overblown and exaggerated- that's the point. But it can't be the slightest bit tongue-in-cheek- and the merchandising machine increasingly makes it tough to do that.
"Defeats the big evil villain who turns out to be his father, and, dying, reforms and looks upon his son with his own eyes" is an opera.
"Wins the big race" is an Elvis movie (and a video game).
Lucas has the _chance_ at great space opera, still. To show the corruption of Anakin is potentially great space opera. But there is definitely a risk that he'll completely blow it- too many computerized extras, too many merchandising tie-ins affecting the scanty plot of the movies, which won't stand much of that treatment. Space opera plot is _cheesey_. Hijack a bit of it for use as a video game or something, and you risk losing all of it by losing the thread and not being able to pick it up again.
At least it ought to wind up an absolutely great issue of 'Cinefex' ;)
A couple of years ago, before the Northpark #1 in Dallas closed down (and was subsequently torn down -- f**k you Mr. Nasher!), they used to dig up old 70mm 6-track prints of 80s movies and show them at midnight shows. The last one I saw was a pretty nice print of "Aliens". After years of watching 35mm-only, it was a breath of fresh air to see just how good movies used to look and sound (today's digital sound formats are so heavily compressed, they actually sound worse than 6-track SR!). I pine for the days of 70mm.
Now we have to put up with people telling us that digital video projection will be better. It could be; it has the potential to be ... but so far every demo I've seen just sucks ass. DLP is only 1280x1024. Every time I see it, my first reaction is, "hey, that looks like TV!" No joke. If they could somehow throw 4000x3000 video up on the screen with the full contrast and color range of film, I'd say go for it. But nobody seems interested in actually doing it right anymore. Hell, Lucas "filmed" Episode II with a freakin' HDTV camera! Ugh.
Free Hans!
Unfortunately, in writing the response, it became more of a general rant, so I moved it into the general comments...
While I agree with the sentiment that the title Attack of the Clones works as a 50's SF serial genre, it is still somewhat cheesy.
Having read a fair sampling of the remarks here, I can see an interesting theory materializing: George Lucas's writing abilities did not mature while the audience did. I was in High School when the first film came out and in College when the second and third ones came out. Perhaps there is some validity to this argument. But, based on what I saw in stores after both Return and Phantom, Lucas misjudged his market - an awful lot of unsold Ewok and Jar-Jar toys wound up in bargain bins.
My major problem with the films has been the decreasing story quality level. The original film featured cardboard cutouts for characters, but had a pretty good story. Empire built on the first film, had some character development and a good story. There was character development in Return and the underlying story was good, but the choices in pacing and what elements of the story were focussed on was so messed up that they obscured matters (not to mention the #$@*& Ewoks!). Return also saw the marketing gone amuck that we now have to endure with every major motion picture these days. If nothing else, Lucas has much to answer for in this respect. Phantom Menace had some of the same handicaps that the original film had (trying to introduce a set of totally new characters), but suffered from a much weaker story (and Jar-Jar).
As for the remarks to the effect that "all of us will see the film" - count me out. I went, grudgingly, to a matinee a couple of months after the last one came out and felt that I had wasted a couple of hours and some hard-earned money (a feeling that came back to me when I saw Pearl Harbor earlier this summer). I did not really want to go, as I had been so distressed by the lack of quality in Return (which I have never seen again), that I did not trust Lucas to deliver a quality product. I will not be at the theaters for episode 2. I'm also not in any hurry to have a copy of Episode 1 (or Return, for that matter) on DVD. I have Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back on LaserDisk and would consider buying both on DVD should they ever come out, but have no interest in any other Star Wars titles, thank you.
An interesting analogy can be seen in Lucas' other series of films - the Indiana Jones films. Again, we have a set of cut-out characters in a genre that is full of them. The first and third films worked, but the second (Temple of Doom, for those who don't remember it), is horrible. A bad story can sink a film. Poor characterization can be overcome by a good story. Raiders had a good story, Last Crusade had a good one, Star Wars and Empire had good stories, too. Temple of Doom, Return, and Phantom Menace all had lousy stories. I'm betting that Attack of the Clones won't have a good story, either.
Empire was a kid movie too, my friend. Just because a guy gets his hands cut off doesn't mean the movie is not for children. Many "child movies" do attempt to explore great themes. Look at recent Disney films: Beauty and the Beast (tired cliche that beauty is only skin deep, but still questioned by adults) and The Lion King (the struggles in trying to pass down your values).
In contrast, Star Wars had a lot of stuff blowing up. Lucas goes into how they're "myth-based" and feature deeper stories, but the truth is the more vague he and his writers were about the "force", the better. When they started going into detail (midi-chlorians (sp) anyone?) it became even more laughable.
Face it, people always love what they grew up with as kids. That's why marketers love the 12-18 market: these people will not only buy they're goods then, but continue to buy their goods for years beyond to "reminisce". Meanwhile, Lucas is sitting quietly, as always, laughing all the way to the bank.
Attack of the killer tomato's
Aliens attack
ATTACK OF PUPPET PEOPLE
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
Attack of the Clones
Dam, this title makes the movie sound like a 1950's horrer flick. >:)=
just hope that the graphics are a lot better the the 50's flicks
>:)=
my 2 cents plus 2 more
No, remember, this is a Fox production:
When Clones Attack.
Is Lucas *trying* to turn his legacy into a cheese-fest? What is he smoking? What part of his brain could possibly be running at the moment he said, "How about 'Attack of the Clones'? Yeah, that sounds great!"? I think the man has lost it. I think this is one of the signs of the apocalypse: "and the angel broke the seventh seal, and the epic myths of the last generation were turned into the b-movies of the next."
I know, it's possible it's a fake title, but remember, everybody said that about... "The Phantom Menace" [queue Theremin] and then, there it was, larger than life, onscreen at theaters nationwide.
The first prequel was a good movie. Not nearly as good as any of the originals, but still a very good movie. The one thing everyone was counting on for the second was a sharp decline in goofy crap. See: Jar-jar. Also see: 10-year old saving the universe with battle cries like "woohoo!" Now the outlook has dimmed.
I know some are going to be poised on the defense, since everybody's gonna jump all over this, and yeah, I'm ranting a little for fun, but COME ON! He could do sooooo much better! And we deserve better, too! True the title doesn't determine the whole movie, but a simple change could make all the difference: even "The Clones Attack" is better. Or "The Clones Revolt", "The Clone Wars", "Clones On Strike", "Battle Clones", "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper". Basically, any other combination of two to four words of the English language would prove inestimably better than the four Mr. Lucas's two synapses came up with. And yes, "Return of the Jedi" and "The Empire Strikes Back" are successful for their simplicity, but somehow escape the goofy intonations of the two prequel titles. Now I find myself anticipating the third prequel. Perhaps "Anakin Does a Baddy No-no". Hey, that's pretty good...
I just hope that in the future any Star Wars tidbits that come up will not be sitting on the main page. I am attempting to isolate myself from all information about the moive. Episode I was ruined for me - not just because the plot was kind of awkward, or because of Jar-Jar. But because I already knew what was going to happen. I knew (usually specifically) what was going to happen. The previews gave everything away. The biggest shock in the movie could have been the double-bladed lightsaber - but no - that was in the previews several weeks before hand. I want to be able to walk into the movie theater and know absolutely nothing about the movie - no generalities, no specifics.
All we need is a flying phone box and we'd be ready to revive the good doctor:
Doctor Who: Attack of the Clones
To be released in a seriese of real-audio episodes starting in 2002
let's not forget ISHTAR !
Episode II: Insane Clone Posse
-nd
The first Death Star was destroyed by sending a torpedo down an exaust port that triggered a chain reaction that eventually blew up the main reactor.
The second Death Star, if complete, would presumably be without this flaw - at the time of the attack, however, it was incomplete, so the rebels just flew through the infrastructure and blew up the reactor directly.
So only the first Death Star had the flaw - the only problem with the second was that it wasn't finished yet.
Wow, I like your sig.
You're nothing; like me.
Episode II: Sith are from Mars, Jedi are from Venus
I think you're missing the point a bit there by attacking the quality of Starwars as a serious film. I think the general, if you tried to look at the old Starwars movies is a complex, interwoven piece of art, you'll find that there is a bit of a void.
Despite what George might try to have you believe after the movies came out, Starwars ain't a deep and complex film. It's a neat Good VS Evil, shoot them up, cut them down popcorn movie. I think all the comments on the plot and acting are very valid but I don't think the old series really pretend to be either.
The problem with trying to redo this for the 90s and 00s is that the audience expectations have changed. Watching old chessy 70s and 80s movies, you can really have a good laugh at the cheesy lines and crummy plot. What episode I did that really failed was that it recapture the chessy taciness in plot, but really took itself way too seriously. There was no real send-ups of itself - just more of the cheese, without any recognition of its own chessiness. Audiences are must more critical and in many ways, cynical. Episode I was a pretty ordinary movie and given all the hype, it was almost always going to fall well short of expectations.
Basically, yeah, Starwars is chessy. It's tacky but hey, we still love it.
If Jar Jar had been in the first movie, he would have been loved and had figures of him sold on the black market and been incorporated as a real character in fan fiction, while Ewoks would be universally hated and have fanfiction written about 1001 ways to kill them.
Um, you must have forgotten since it was so long ago, but the Ewoks WERE universally hated, and there was plenty of fanfiction about their messy and untimely demise. Hell, my dad had a bumpersticker on his company car that said 'Eat An Ewok'.
That being said, Jar Jar (as well as all the other cutesy kid-appeal characters) are just the product of Lucas trying to find a lock on a target audience, ANY target audience, that will continue to support his tenure with the story that made his name.
-72
-Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.
They were just clones of the original posts....
Have you actually *watched* the first three films without the rosy glasses lately? Star Wars was a B-grade space opera flick (no doubt only justified by the then cutting edge FX and Alec Guiness) and the followups weren't much better. Sir Alec turned his nose up at the films ("that Force rubbage"). They're BAD man. I mean, "Star Wars?" How much cheesier of a title can you get? You only think they're wonderful because, like me, you saw them as a kid. There are NO adult themes or elements in ANY of the films, these are aimed at children, Lucas has said they always were and always will.
Now, I didn't expect much from Phantom Menace, and I actually got more than I expected. I saw kids leaving the theater with wide eyes and full of excitement. No doubt the same way I looked when I saw Star Wars in the theater more than 20 years ago.
Get over it, man. Star Wars is a children's franchise. It was never good to begin with, so why expect it to be the pinnacle of film now?
Derek
...for waiting for the DVD release and not buying VHS. This is his revenge.
When you start directing - let me know how many more awards you get than Lucas... We'll set up a 'Giggles Of Doom Vs George Lucas Awards Count-off' site so we can gasp in wonder as you rocket to the top.
If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush and a tree falls, does Carmen Sangiego find Waldo?
Well, I wasn't even counting the TNG movies, but if you include those, I think the worst ones are Insurrection, Star Trek V, Star Trek I, and then Generations, in that order. If Insurrection hadn't been a Trek movie, I think I would have walked out in the middle. Probably still should have...
Shawn Asmussen
Yeah! That's true. Lucas mentions it in those interviews at the start of the special editions... But then again, if the rebels had of had a legion of Wookies on their side, they would have kicked ass long ago.
The mighty Lucas has faltered! The lord of The Rings smells victory, smiles, and takes the head that belongs him!
Have you actually *watched* the first three films without the rosy glasses lately?
Personally I'd love to, but LUCAS WON'T LET ME! I have to buy the stupid "Special Editions". Damn I wish I had bought them years ago before the painful-to-watch Han and Jabba scene in Episode IV.
I've got a Baaaaaaaaaad feeling about this!
Sure, I meant no disrespect to you, and I agree in substance with your points. My only bone of contention is that while Star Wars 4, 5 and the first half of 6 (pre re-master) are superficial, they don't necessarily become irritating with age. For me, at least, the magic is still there. It's remembered childhood magic, but it doesn't have Jar Jar screwing it up for me, like he'll do for the kiddies who squealed and giggled at him in Phantom Menace.
Incidentally, I didn't mean to imply that modern blockbusters are in any way worthy pieces of film making. Perish the thought. ;)
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
is still hot as HELL.
I'm going to see Episode II for Natalie only. I know I won't be let down in that respect. Then, if the movie doesn't suck, I'll be pleasantly surprised!
Star Wars Two: STAR HARDER
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"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad." - Salvador Dali (1904-1989)
Clever dialog? Are you fucking insane?
What a lame name, obviously Lucas as lost his edge. I once saw this movie called Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Is the third movie going to be called Return of the Clones?
All throughout the movie, I kept asking Lucas, silently, "was that really necessary?
On the whole, Episode I could have been a really fantastic film. Even now, with just a couple of edits, it could still be saved. Cut 1: take Threepio out of the film. He adds absolutely nothing to the advancement of the plot, and it stretches the suspension of disbelief to the breaking point that he was built (or rebuilt) by the dorky little kid that Anakin Skywalker is portrayed as. He's little more than a victim-bot throughout, and his lines are meaningless. Cut 2: most of Jar Jar's scenes could be removed. He could just be digitized out of about half of his scenes, and no one would notice. The actors don't really react to him anyway, since he doesn't exist on the soundstage while they're filming. He could be brought in only where he advances the plot, such as in the scene where he brings Amidala to the Gungans.
There's nothing to be done about the kid. His acting can't be improved by digitizing it, and I suspect any attempt to do so would just make it worse. But taking those two irritating elements out of the story would vastly improve its belivability. The rest of the plot is fair-to-middling, and I really didn't have any problems with it.
One day I feel I'm ahead of the wheel / the next it's rolling over me / I can get back on / I can get back on
But the "revenge" part was dropped because it wasn't very Jedi-like -- they're supposed to be all Zenned out and stuff and not prone to taking revenge, because that's a Dark Side trait. The name wouldn't have made sense.
J
Hrmmm, I find this viewpoint odd, I liked the Ewoks, I thought they were kickass, fuzzy little bears. They beat up stormtroopers and ATATs with rocks and logs, how much more badass can you get? JarJar on the otherhand has a voice that grates on my nerves the same why hearing any other human being completely mangle the english language does. His mannerisms are over exaggerated, his lines are blatantly supposed to be funny but they only come off as stupid. Han Solo and Chewbacca had some great interactions with Leia in the first trilogy, the were funny, they were subtle, they were usually moderately clever. Some of them were of course simply insult hurling, but come on! You gotta give props to 'Scruffy Looking Nerf Herder' as an insult over 'Weeza Gonna Die!!' as a rallying cry. Hell, 'I have a bad feeling about this' is just classic... There were so many more memorable lines from the original trilogy yet about all I remember from TPM is JarJars annoying ass going 'Weeza Gonna Die!' over and over again.
And for the record, I like Pokemon, Ewoks, Smurgfs, the Gummi Bears, and Koalas. I also like Cowboy Bebop, Fist of the North Star, Iguanas, and Spawn.
I think my tastes probably run closer to the average section of slashdot than your projection. I believe we're all pretty eclectic people...
Kintanon
Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
Just exactly what was "the phantom menace" anyhow? Exactly what was the menace and how was it phantasmal? Really... I never felt menaced during the whole movie.
Mod this up
Bring back the old version of slashdot.
Nah... he probably meant Keeler blue Heeler... We Australians like rhyming about there bitches too! :)
Now now, the Ewoks weren't that bad.
They spoke in a language that sounded nothing like English... Actually, when they talked... they just made those little clicking noises. See, Jar Jar should have spoken like the Ewoks, then people wouldn't have been so pissed off by him.
Don't mess with the Ewoks!
I was going to grudgingly go see it because it was Star Wars, but if they're going to call it "Attack of the Clones", I think I'll wait and rent it. If they can't even come up with a title that doesn't suck, I don't think I wanna spend $9 on the rest of the movie.
Star Wars 9: Evil Marketing Droids Fight Back
I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
"Episode II: Get over it nerds, it's just a freakin movie"
o+
Kiss my bass.
Ijst LVEvladinat's e! secay the ash"ton, ; hr Ieane o cth btoff of noldshr tus s hir eneent& #79;h, and he "nc pry" oto!
course, on orget rd vdiatr's mails! reyu will dsco houly ifiultit oecidewat t do e eekds.. hae pizza pry? A s pat?G to thal thalofour frnds? Hae a lepoer ndc boysonhe pone?
shor, i yo h' checed o vlaor's ie, you do'ko t o'e msing!
"The Attack of the Clones" is better then "Clones Attack!" Yeah, we all know The Emperor got his start during the "Clone Wars", but golly, can't they call it "Clone Wars"?
And what are they clones of? Great fighters? People loaded with mitochondria, sorry, midiclorians?
Imagine 40,000 Yodi coming over the hill at you...shudder.
I am for the complete Trantorization of Earth.
Rejected titles for Episode 2:
Lucas hopes the 2nd film will make people forget the recent study alleging that the creator of Star Wars is a pedophile.
Right on! Anybody who knows Dante Hicks & Randall Graves is OK with me.
"Upgrade your grey matter, 'cause one day it may matter." --Deltron Zero
No, no, no. It should be Anni the Jedi Slayer. That fits in with the characters name and is closer to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
(just saying the title brings visions of Sarah Michelle Gellars heaving clevage and firm young... But wait! This movie has Natalie Portman in it! And at some point Leia and Luke will have to be concieved! Oh yea baby, I'm there.)
Star Wars: The Clonus Horror
Search on LimeWire. It's there.
Well, It was probably something like this.
Microsoft Balmer dis'es linux! cool!, accept, next, "attack of the clones", wtf? reject, next...
1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0pqawsedrftgthyjukilo;p'azsxdcf
You could in fact make the first three:
A New Threat
The Republic Strikes Back
Return of the Sith
and have equally pathetic titling for the first three as the second three. Hoorah.
Jedidiah
Craft Beer Programming T-shirts
Socialists? Socialists are the real sheep. "But we have such good intentions!" Good intentions get you immolated, starved to death, and hung on a cross (not necessarily in that order). Selfish intentions are what make the world go round. That's why they still rule mankind. Sure, you can create a utopia for maybe a generation, but after that, some really mean bastard will come along and screw your paradise up, and you will take it right up the ass because you don't have the power to do anything about it. You gave it all to the really mean bastard via inheritance through the nice guy everyone loves when you created your little paradise.
Please pass the Ketchup.
forth ?love if honk then
I've looked closely and the Bishop at the end bleeds red blood when tolchocked. Add to that his reaction to Ripley's impending suicide and the conclusion is pretty clear - he's a human working for the company.
--- Hot Shot City is particularly good.
I just LOVE vladinator's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read vladinator's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out vladinator's site, you don't know what you're missing!
Which is why I am keeping my big, clunky 12" laserdisc player and my black-box "Star Wars Trilogy" CAV laserdisc set. :)
Actually, I didn't mind the Jabba scene so much, but the re-jiggered scene between Greedo and Han completely screws up Han Solo's character arc. Sure, the "heroic" Han Solo we see at the end of ROTJ wouldn't have shot first - but that's the whole damn point! One of the major themes of the original Star Wars trilogy, IMO, is redemption. The most obvious example, of course, is Darth Vader's eventual salvation from the Dark Side, but this theme is echoed in any number of other characters throughout the trilogy who, by becoming part of something greater than themselves, become better people - sometimes in spite of themselves. The fact that Han Solo started out as a disreputable, self-centered never-do-well, and became something better, is what made him interesting.
Milalwi
I just LOVE vladinator's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read vladinator's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out vladinator's site, you don't know what you're missing!
Posts like these make me think that the limit of 5 points for a post is too low.
More on-topic, has anyone heard anything about "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"?
JET Program: see Japan, meet intere
Throw in the Ewoks and he'll get probation...
I think in order to make the first 3 fit better in series with the latter 3, the film names should be the following:
The Jedi
The Empire Strikes
Hope
A New Hope
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
This would definately make titles fit together and avoid silliness like B-grade horror from the 50's 'Attack of the Clones'.
... until I read another friggin' idiot with a stupid "send in the clones" remark. Wait that was me... it's already here... what the... AHHHHHH!!!
Cmdrtaco says he'll pass judgement until after he sees it.
I assure you, taco, that's not all you'll pass after you see it.
Let the lameness commence.
fifth sigma, inc.
yup, I collected Spiderman over 20 years and quit because that clone crap.
I think maybe he saw Revenge of the Nerds the other day on TBS and got a little confused.
That would tend to explain a lot. I had originally wondered how the Empire managed to recruit and train an army of 100% incompetent stormtroopers.
;-)
Then I was told they were all clones. "Who did they clone, Bozo the clown?", I replied.
I guess I wasn't that far off.
There is much cruelty in the universe, John.
Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.
i'm sorta assuming that anikin goes thru a bunch of jedi training before the clone wars and that, unless lucas is a total moron, we'd get some sort of direct or indirect explanation of how the principal chars spent the time. altho i'm not really expecting much from the man who brought us jar-jar.
-dk
Dream with the feathers of angels stuffed beneath your head.
No - there are plenty of clones in the second movie.
all the arguments I hear go along the lines of:
"I saw episode IV-VI when I was a kid, and they were great! and now I went to see episode I, and I was shocked to find that it was made for kids!"
well... have you ever considered the fact that the first three were, too? and that you like them now because you saw them when you were kids?
I saw episode one on the premier night here in Sweden. never in my life have I witnessed such excitement. the one boo! I heard was when we saw that they had translated (!) the magical three paragraphs to Swedish!
then it was all cheers, every time a reference to the old movies were made, or a familiar character was presented.
most of my male friends thought it was great, with the exception of Jar-Jar. and I see the same consensus here. I have yet to find a single gyu that likes him, or even stands to watch him. and I would like to offer another view of that.
me and some of my female friends have discussed this phenomena. we all think he's cute. the one bone we have with him is that he's the only one in all the movies that succeeds not by doing his best, but by being chronically clumsy and equally lucky.
but he is a caricature of a lot of negative male characteristics. and maybe you guys don't like to be reminded of those.
it's the only way we could explain the extreme, one-sided hate we have witnessed. and maybe there is some truth in it...
now, flame all you like... I have mail filters, and I know how to use them.
i dont know what you're talking about the "frank herbert estate atrocities", because if you're referring to dune: house atreides and dune:house harkonnen i think they're great.
So you're the intended audience?! They're your fault, are they?! Bastard!!
Can you come up with a better title for the movie covering part (or all) of the Clone Wars? If so, let's here it.
At the next eco-hypocrisy-meeting, count the private jets used to get to the meeting. Should be interesting to see that
I'll pass water in the aisles after I see it if its anything like the last one...
The title really might be "Send in the Clones"?
Ratguy
Jar Jar and friends
Be nice to everyone, they out number you 6 billion to 1.
Of course this must be a secret message. The film is really about Napster.
Episode I - The phantom menace - RIAA strikes against the rebel planet with droideka lawyers.
Episode II - Attack of the clones - 101 Napster lookalikes are spawned when Napster is killed.
Episode III? - The dark alliance - MPAA and RIAA join forces, the Death Star looks like a baseball compared to their new building, the Law Office.
The name was changed because it was coming out around the same time as Wrath of Kahn. The two titles were too similar and thus we got Return of the Jedi
Bashing Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace because they are "made for children" isn't going to change that image. Consider the Trench Coat Mafia. The Columbine killers and their friends were bullied at school, so they started wearing these black trench coats to look "tough" or "cool". (This is what I remember one of these kids telling in a newspaper interview.) But, predictably, the trench coats didn't help: they just made them look stupid in the eyes of their peers.
It's the same with "geek culture" in general. Thou Shalt Criticize Ewoks And Other "Just For Kids" Crap And Praise "The Matrix" And Other Amazingly Cool Movies. Sorry, but it won't help. Of course, a lot of people will say that they don't care what others think about them, but I don't buy that.
Why does your subculture despise any and all forms of "offensive cuteness", as the Jargon File puts it? There are two main groups of people who actively hate everything that seems childish. Group 1 consists of teenagers - because they want to show that they are no longer children. Group 2 is the "geek" or "hacker" or "Slashdot" crowd - because...?
If you aren't happy with Ewoks or Jar Jar or whatever, why don't you just ignore them? If you don't like ROTJ, don't watch it. I don't understand this hate towards things that are "not dark". Why is happiness so universally reviled here? If you don't accept my explanations, let me know what you think. I'd be happy to hear your own opinions.
Star Wars 2: Electric Boogaloo
begin 644
To merge Douglas Adams AND Star Wars ..
"Oh, what a dull name!"
"Watch the skies, keep watching the skies"
He should fire himself as director. He's got a good eye but is terrible with actors and dialogue. Why not hand over the films to some decent directors? David Fincher directs "The Clone Wars" anyone? Fincher was at one point interested in directing an episode. Even the obscure Irvin Kershner, who did a great job with Empire (easily the best of the films), would be a vast improvment.
I loved RTOJ, I loved the entire original trilogy, and I still do.. It was epic and very involved. It had an excellent story.
:) Jar Jar was a joke .. and a bad mistake..
Episode 1 had excellent potential, there were moments in the movie where it seemed like it was going to work, but all in all it seemed TOO childish. If RTOJ was a kids movie, then Episode 1 could be likened to an episode of Barney
I have a feeling, or is it more of a hope? that they won't repeat this mistake in the new one.. but by the sound of the title, they just might.
The Criterion edition has all (many?) of the cut/edited scenes. Plus directors commentary on why the MPAA said to cut it, and why he thinks it makes the movie worse (in many cases seeming more violent). It is one of the first DVDs I bought.
Star Wars II: Attack of Windows XP. Windows XP is just a clone of the Mandrake/X/KDE GUI after all, isn't it?
%blow
%blow: No such job
^how did the sex change go?
Modifier failed
A long time ago, in a city not that far away, six months of begging my parents finally got me in to see Star Wars. I had never seen a movie like it, and have yet to see another movie that could get me as excited as this one did (save 'Empire Strikes Back'). Lucas offered special effects like no one had seen before, mostly due to time-intesive work on the part of Lucas and Crew. So the plot was a little weak - I didn't catch half of the lines anyway, I was so busy being amazed at the ships and dogfights.
I, too, am disappointed in the title for Epi2, but no more than I was at 'The Phantom Menace', or even 'Revenge of the Jedi' (the title I originally heard). 'Empire Strikes Back' is really pretty stupid, but I certainly didn't care when the film was released. Let's face it, titles for sequels suck, and I'm sure it sucks trying to come up with one. And even if Lucas named the movie 'Anakin contemplates his navel', it would still break records in the box office.
I'm not too worried about disapointment in the new movie. Lucas usually puts on a dazzling show at least. It's cinema, not deeply philisophical sci-fi. In my opinion, good cinema can be a lot more fun. 'Good' sci fi usually leaves me just a little bit unnerved (I like it to!). Star Wars movies are just plain fun. And if it's that bad, I'll just rent 'Star Trek: Insurrection' to put things into perspective.
"The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away" -- "Step Right Up", Tom Waits
Actually, the Jedi Knights were not vengeful, so "Revenge" of the Jedi made no sense.
Actually, the name sounds better, just poor in context.
To eliminate the hope of these people is a crime against humanity.
I guess they need A New Hope.
Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
I thought "attack of the clones" was a documentary about the George Bush Jr. Administration.
Star Wars ANH viewers were not kids or even teens. When I saw it back when I was a kid, most of the people in the theater were adults. Most adults who were at all sci-fi fans saw episode IV? Is it that people posting here are all too young to know this or that they latch onto one small ida and troll for all it's worth? If episode IV was only entertaining and good because people were young at the time it dosnt explain all the adults that thought it was good.
yeah.
Now, I'm going to laugh about this for a long time, thank you George for this wonderful moment of joy.
Good word! I still have yet to understand why everyone thinks Lucas is such a god, the guy positivly sucks as a director, or a writer, or a producer... And you're right, the orignal movies really weren't all that good, but I think even with the low end FX they were better writen then Phantom.
"A coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one."
Sherbet is an ice cream clone.
Star Wars: Han and Chewie Come Back and Put a Stop to All This Nonsense Once and For All.
All the other titles of StarWars Episodes so far have been slightly menacing (except perhaps episove IV)
The Phantom Menace - points to something dark and forbodeing overshadowning the whole affair, but doesn't give anything away.
A New Hope - Something good is going to happen that makes something bad a bit less horrid
The Empire Strikes Back - Things get shit again
Return Of The Jedi - The Jedi comes and makes things better, but thats OK, cause its the last episode and everyone expects that anyway.
Now lets see... Attack of The Clones.... Hmm, they didn't have enough money to hire a big cast cause they spent most of their money on special effects so they're going to use blue screen technology to make this guy appear to be most of the cast and have him try and shoot everone.
Whoever came up with that title should be shot, by an army of almost exaclty the same soldiers. (Unless it actually happens to be the title of the 2nd book written by Lucas, which I doubt).
Politicians will rally around this:
* They can justify their ban on cloning
* They think they can prevent clones from "attacking"
* They can "take back our children" from the evil clutches of Hollywood
* They can remove the scourge of Jar-Jar Bink--- you know, they might be on to something.
Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
When I was a kid, I thought they were saying "The Cologne Wars". I really assumed there was some sort of fracas over fragrances. I am just glad it turned out to be "clones".
-nd
Enough of this "Star Wars was really a child's movie" BS. Star Wars was a very violent movie. It portrayed acts of violence and the results of violence in a much more adult-oriented manner than the bloodless droid destruction fest and impotent darth-boogeymanning that was Episode 1. How, you ask? Let me count the ways
I could go on, but I think I've made my point and and there are at least two whole acts left to the movie.
When I saw the special-ed. versions a couple of years ago I had a great time. That time around I didn't mind the corny parts of the story since the movies had a special place in my heart.
There was extra room in my heart for Episode I.
The reason I and many others were disappointed I think is because EpI is such a lousy movie. There is no excitement, no epic scale, no magic!
Granted, I had huge expectations. But I also had a lot of tolerence for what they, in my mind, where allowed to do in the story. I think they just went too far for most people.
EpI is for kids, the original three are for all ages. That is what has changed, and that is what is bad.
Die dulci fruere. Have a nice day.
I'd pay to see that.
Too bad he's dead.
-Mark
Dovie'andi se tovya sagain.
They are not going to clone Jar-Jar... they are going to clone Darth Maul (just like Luuke in the later books.) Maul is the only one that has proven he can take out the Jedi. Skywalker will not go to the dark side until after his mom dies and he is seriously injured by Obi-Wan in a duel. Oh yeah, and titles are not set in stone... the original screenplay was called "The Adventures of Luke Starkiller" remember?
one out of two doesn't sound that bad anymore
No. It was less 'IN YOUR FACE'. I saw the first triology at 14.
Do you know why almost everybody here hates the Ewoks in ROTJ?
Wrong again, don't assume generallity that fast my friend. I really liked the Ewoks and the Ewoks movies, in fact they are better than the first prequel.
Like most of the Anime amateurs in here, I really enjoy watching the saturday cartoons. Don't project your self interests into other's life.
the average Joe sees all Star Wars movies as children's movies, regardless of whether they have Ewoks or Jar-Jar in them or not.
I'm not interrested in average Joe's opinion We are talking about targetting movies to kids and making money out of this.
The main fact is that "I" hate "IN YOUR FACE" targetting. Old movies NEVER NEVER had this obvious form of stupid marketing. Your happy with it, fine by me. All i have to say is get ready for worst, and worst. Once these corporate wimps find a good money making scheme they exploit it and exploit it until they find a better one. And it's the better one that I'm afraid of.
One last thing, these people are after Average Joe's money. And this is what we are trying to prevent. Cause if they get it all, then it might be the last time we see good movies around here. Seen Planet of The Apes latelly? It sucked? I'm not surprised at all.
A moment of thinking...
As I pointed out previously, even the Jargon File says that "hackers detest and avoid all forms of offensive cuteness". WHY? A lot of people here seem to think that "if it's dark, it's good" or even "if it's not dark, it sucks". Again, WHY?
Think about it.
(I don't think that the question of who's a hacker and who's a geek is relevant here. And, for the record, I do not classify myself as a geek or a hacker.)
PS. I may change my nick to "FlowerBoy" or "BarneyFan" in the future.
Carl G. Jung
--
"With one breath, with one flow, You will know Synchronicity" -La Policia
Gernerations was the only Star Trek that wasn't better the TOMP! Inserection was almost as bad!
produser 1 'i have an idea! lets crash the enterprise into a planet and have it take up 20 minutes!'
produser 2 'yeah then we can have Data say "aw shit!"'
I jsOV vntos siEpi& #97;lly t fa seciher larned tou te otooffofa 2;ol hir t ue s har enancement h,and the "ane arty hs
;haven' checkedout lats st, odn't know wt ou'remssing!
cren't forget torad adiaose 09;is Heyo wl disor wruly dificult st dcidewha ooon the wekend.. hae apzparty? A ashrt o to the malwit all o our rids? Hav a seepovr nd cll bo onh h?
In or,fyo 
Star wars and romancing the old lady Schweet dude !
Now, many people are ranting about how "Attack of the Clones" is a retarded movie title. I'd have to agree. Granted, I'm one of those 'saw it when I was young, fell in love with it, altered reality,' types. My parents, on the other hand, are not.
My parents recently saw Episode I. They were appauled at the horrid commericialization of the franchise and the apparent lack of effort that went into the actual film, the story, and the plot. Granted, Luca always triedmake money, but Star Wars was art when Lucas started making it. He said so himself - his opt-outs about how it's simply a childrens film and such are just that - opt outs. I mean, for crying out loud, Episode I didn't even have new music composed for it to fit the film - it simply had a compiled version done by someone else, so they could slap John William's name on it. They spent all their budget on special effects. Bastards.
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
Don't like it when your friend dis your daddy? :)
Oh so would I! If it had some lesbianism, I'd pay to see it twice!
You die too easily.
Remember finding out about child abuse on Gont, and why wizards from Roke avoided girls, in Ursula Le Guin's Tehanu?
Remember when all the kids got killed, and Aslan turned into Jesus, in C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle?
Remember when Bilbo Baggins turned into an old, evil monster (if only for a moment) in J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings -- and then the "sequel" to that had no hobbits, only elf genealogy and linguistics?
If it's not what you expected -- that is, what you extrapolated from the first movie(s) or book(s) -- you're not going to like it. We build cosy little worlds from the "original" stories, then hate it when the author intrudes.
No, I don't think there's a solution. But the problem isn't unique to George Lucas. Sequels to creative works you unconditionally love will tend to suck.
Especially with speculative / escapist fiction -- part of the appeal of which is (I assume) that the "world" presented is self-contained, and the (usually young) reader can comprehend it in its totality. Unlike the all-too-confusing real world.
Could be worse Revenge of the Jedi Nerds
"Face it, a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
You weren't surprised that the "happy ending" to the last Narnia book involved the child protagonists turning out to be dead?
Agreed, Lewis's day job as Christian Apologist is visibly present (to those with eyes to see) throughout the books. But killing off the child cast at the finish was -- to say the least -- kinda disturbing. And rather in-yer-face for a young fan.
Dontcha think?
Did you see the movie, or just listen to it? The death star had huge chunks missing from it. Sure, it was habitable, and they could fire the laser and blow stuff up, but the thing was unfinished. That's how the rebel fleet was able to fly ships inside of it to get to the reactor - they flew through the part that wasn't completed yet.
Don't argue. Go watch the movie.
Mad max and its sequel, Mad Max: The Road Warrior. The first was a little low-budget rinky-dink effort. The second is the one everybody knows as wicked-cool.
Why does everyone say they hate jar jar? He was the only thing keeping me from walking out of episode one. Long ass racing scenes and double sided lightsabers were causing me to nod-off.
Oh No!!! Red Code II Attack of the Clones
As a matter of fact, geeks are the most indiscriminate bunch of moviegoers (possibly surpassed by junior high kids). As long as it as computer graphics and a futuristic plot, they will see it.
I am still debating whether it is ironic or typical that the smart people are the ones watching the movies the most devoid of acting, consistent logic and lessons to be learned.
Stop the brainwash
I like it because it fully admits its nothing more than a B-movie. Granted a B-movie on an A-movie budget.
What man will be the last victim of mad clone blood lust, thereby winning the $50,000!
This fall, the most controversial reality show to hit the networks, or Fox!
She's too busy marketing her grits to notice any of you drooling fanboys. Maybe if you buy a few boxes of these, she'll pay more attention to you.
I'm sorry, but I really think you're wrong about the original audience. I distinctly remember when it was released in 1977, getting on the cover of Time magazine labelled as a "Fable for the 70's". I think that we get jaded nowadays because we've been Indiana Jonesd and Matrix'ed to death - been there done that. Back then, however, Star Wars was new inasmuch as it showed a science fiction world that was "dirtier" and more used than ever had been shown in films before. It created a world that had never been experienced before - it crossed the age boundary. Now don't get me wrong - I screened it again the other day and am embarrassed by the big hair and poor acting - it's not a "great film", but I think you're wrong in dismissing it as for children only. It was intended, and succeeded, to capture the sense of wonder we had as children, regardless of age.
For the record, I *loathed* the latest. Odd about the wide-eyed kids you saw - in my screening the little kid next to me constantly yawned. When asked by his father "did you like it?", he answered "well, the racing scene was cool." I agreed with him - that's all I got out of it!
DT
Wow. While I agree that GF II was an Excellent movie, I have a hard time saying it was better than the first one.
:-)
Superman II and St:2,3 and 5 I'll concede however were better.
Still, it's few and far between that sequels don't disapoint. Can we agree on that?
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Jed Babbin
When did you stop watching? After the first season?
Technoli
It is perfectly possible to make a movie that appeals to kids WITHOUT making adults naseous, and vice versa. Just as you can leave sex, swearing, and extreme violence out of a movie, it is possible to leave out lame ass cutsy charachters like Jar Jar Binks that offend the intelligence of anyone older than 8.
The first Star Wars movie did this just fine. ROTJ and PM did not.
"Wrath" is an infinitely better word than "Revenge," anyway.
I am hoping that there are very few responses to the this world shaking news.
Well, a look at this comment's # will tell you your hope has proven fruitless, I'm sorry. May this article hit the comment #1000 mark! It may not be worth all of that time, but then what is?
A World in a Grain of Sand / Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Infinity in the Palm of your Hand / And Eternity in an Hour.
I just LOVE vladinator's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read vladinator's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out vladinator's site, you don't know what you're missing!
But seriously, and I know its been said, WHY NOT CLONE WARS
Power Corrupts,Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely, leaving one person(group)in charge is absolutely corrupt.
You forgot Invasion of the Clone Snatchers.
... and my personal favorite, Ben, the hero in Full Throttle!
Don't make then zap you into blood'n'guts filled cotton candy!
Ice Cream has no bones.
filled with cahjones, and all of them so big! Why is it that the guys holding onto the handles are so poor?
Interesting points, but I have to nit pick over a few of them.
Maybe Luke's midichlorian count is way over 20,000. (BTW, saying that makes me feel like a two bit whore. Thanks for raping my childhood memories, George).
And yet, strangely, we believe him. We feel it. Same for all the other cheesy dialogue, which fits the archetypes that you berate above so well that we can suspend our disbelief.
Uh, OK, wait a second. Have you been to see a Hollywood blockbuster recently? George showed us how to make a great films by just shooting scenes over and over and editing our the really bad bits, a tradition that's still going strong today.
Which is where we agree completely. All your points about episodes 4 through 6 are valid, but (apart from the latter parts of RotJ) the sheer verve makes up for the technical flaws. Episode 1 is just a cynical flashy quota piece, the cinematic equivelant of those 8 bit computer demos that were great technical showcases but ultimately uninvolving. In contrast, Episode 4 was Pong - only as good as it needed to be, but made with flair and gusto, and enjoyed as such.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
damn skippy. i loved return of the jedi partially because of the ewoks. but then again, i also collect tele-tubby and pokemon stuff.
give me saturday morning cartoons and a bowl of cocoa-puffs any day.
and the Irishman took the fly in his hands and yelled, "spit it out!"
"Oh no! Now their doing it *clone* style!"
Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
Hasn't that one been rumored for years? What's so bad about that title. Attack of the 50 kay clones. Great.
"Sometimes a woman is a kind of religion, she can save your soul & set you free from all your sins" - Bad Examples
Is Georgie boy going a wee bit nuts again? Anyone remember the Battlestar Galactica episode? Probably not. If you view ANH as it was intended, as a love letter to Akira Korosawa, (Watch the Hidden Fortress.) then you will see the many parallels between the two films, (and Willow too for that matter.)This includes characters and scenes. As to the naming thing, just rememeber that if you go by statements in ANH, (e.g., "General Kenobi, hero of the Clone Wars",) you will see the next two movies are the clone wars period. The second movie is the beginning, the third the end of the wars and the fall of the Jedi. Aside from that, who cares about the title when there are supposed to be scenes of up to 30-40 Jedi fighting? Fnord
Fnord!
"The problem is most of the people bitching, IMO, were children when they saw the movie. They saw with a child's eyes and a child's viewpoint on life. The people complaining have lost the ability to view the series through that childish viewpoint and have attached a sense of reverance towards it that will certainly get me modded down for saying this."
What I would note is that through the rereleases, Lucas did make the movies even more child oriented with the whole Han SoloBlaster deal, a lot of the extra CG etc.
What I am hoping, and doubt that I will ever see,is to be able to find a copy of the older releases of Starwars on dvd, vhs etc. I doubt you can get a copy anymore which isn't a "special edition."
Bring back the old version of slashdot.
This was done by my friend Kevin.
>
> Isn't it rich?
>We're a matched pair.
>Waving our lightsabers
>Around in the air.
>Attack of the clones.
>
>Lucas gone mad
>We've all been had
>After the first one was so
>Incredibly bad.
>Attack of the clones?
>Does he think that we're drones?
>
>Just when I'd stopped
>Trashing Jar-Jar
>Lucas is going
>Even further afar.
>Making a loser again
>With his usual flair
>Expecting big lines...
>They'll probably be there.
>
>Oh, what a farce.
>Our fault, we hear.
>We're supposed to like what he shows
>Year after year.
>And where are the clones?
>("Attack of the Clones"???)
>It's too late, they're here.
>
>Isn't it bad?
>Isn't it dull?
>And the worst part of all is that
>The theater'll be full.
>And so it's the clones...
>"Attack of the Clones"
>Will open next year.
><<<<
>
Do really dense people warp space more than others?
The Jar-Jar Horror Picture Show
Star Wars: Titanic Star Wars: I think I'm a clone again...
Episode II: Not Quite Human
Episode II: More Human Than Human
Star Wars: Temple of Clone
Seriously, what's wrong with the new title? It IS about the Clone Wars. Ya know? Clones. Attacking. Ummm. Yeah....
Destination Void is a little bit more on the "what is life / what is conciousness" kick. They start with human brains, but the ultimate resolution of the novel lies in a machine that is greater than its human creators. A machine that is alive and self-concious.
Perhaps Herbert was implying slavery by the conclusion of the novel (if you haven't read it, check it out - its a quick read) - but he has depicted slavery by other means in his novels. Not just machines. Such as the slavery of addiction to a drug (Dune series). The result of the Butlerian jihad seems in his books only to have made life cheaper and more abused as a tool rather than anything possessed of a certain degree of sanctity. See the Face Dancers of Tleilax and the uncountable Duncan Idaho Ghola "clones".
Mankind's relationships to his tools is one of the centerpieces of sci-fi. The tool out of control and turning on its master is a common play. From Frankenstein to Christine to Blade Runner. The time may soon be on us when our machines give better conversation than many of our fellow man. Hell, I'd argue that time is already here.
So, as P.K. Dick would say, who is the "android" and who is the "human"? Who is the master, who is the slave?
Sometimes my arms bend back.
The third movie will be called "Gettin' it on with Natalie Portman"
JET Program: see Japan, meet intere
It seems that SW2 will take action on IRC
:wq
Actually, according to the timeline at the beginning of the new books, Empire Strikes Back was set 3 years after A New Hope, and Return of the Jedi a year after that. Episode I is set 32 years before ANH, Episode II is 22 years (so Anakin will be 20), and Episode III is 2 years after that, leaving a gap you could stuff a Hutt through.
(Do not sign anything.) -- Fell, Planescape: Torment
Mmm hmm, check. Those Mad Magazine guys were onto something, I tell you. The future of Star Wars is right there for anyone not too blind to see it.
Ok, I have to go buy some more tinfoil and rewrite my pamphlet debunking the Clone Gunman theory. More later, if Lucas' minions don't catch up to me first.
-rpl
OK, so that was supposed to be Lucas, not Spielberg...
Be happy. At least in the same Announcement says that Leonardo DiCaprio won't be Anakin, and in fact won't even be in the movie at all according to the current cast. Phew.
...that they changed it from "Revenge of the Jedi" because the upcoming Star Trek movie had the working title "The Vengeance of Khan" (Trek 2 - one of the even #'s, yay!)... The Trek people changed it to the ever cheesy "Wrath of Khan" and the Star Wars folks decided at the last minute that "Revenge" wasn't a suitable business for a Jedi to be getting mixed up in.
Or at least that's what I read in one of Shatner's "memoir" books... god only knows why I voluntarily READ that trash, one never knows how much is true and how much is 110% "Billshit"...
--=Major
One useless man is called a disgrace; two are called a law firm; and three or more become a Congress. -John Adams, 1776
Well, Jedi was originally "Revenge of the Jedi"... movie posters with that name are now quite valuable. Then somebody realized how retarded that sounded and they changed the name before the big promos began.
Yep, it would seem as if Code red is cloning into Star Wars too...
;)
Good thing I'm a trekkie
...is gonna kick George's sorry ass. "Your time has been and gone my friend" The Matrix films will also give him a wuppin'.
Lucas is trying to cash in on the b-movie sci-fi revival that is sure to follow Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes (which is the only true sci-fi film to come out of Hollywood in many a decade). I mean, at least Attack of the Clones will have good company, name-wise anyway: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Jedi.
It's ridiculous that people can be so wed to a franchise that they lose the power to opt out. So much for the free market. And you complain about people using Microsoft products!
That's a very good point. I had never thought of it that way, but you're right. Han is supposed to be a lying, cheating, stealing, arrogant braggart. But he starts to see the bigger picture, and he learns what is really important.
I can survive the ewoks. But the special edition crap...greedo shooting first, that abysmally horrible jabba scene in ANH, and above all, ROTJ, the new band. Oh my god. Fast forward...every time.
I suppose THAT should have been the real cue that something was dreadfully wrong.
Star Wars Episode II: The attack of the invisible clones who are in your closet, in space! Star Wars Episode II: Another new hope, that doesn't float. Star Wars Episode II: The attack of the cloned Star Wars lunchboxes. Star Wars Episode II: Burt Reynolds strikes back!
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now. -Steven Wright
Lucas is about the worst director to make such big films. No other director in the world could make Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor sound so cheesey.
That, my friend, take some seriously anti-talent.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken - Tyler Durden
And Triplets are inherently good, evil, and ambivalent? Are Quadruplets good, evil, good, and evil then?
I want to see the spreadsheet on this graph.
"Face it, a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
... Natalie Portman had nothing to do with the 'hot grits' troll. It should be:
Natalie Portman stars in "Attack of the Petrified Clones"
No, it was clear he had known him a lot longer than that. They recognized each other when they met up after the Sand People's attack.
Free Hans!
He should have been thinking of the people who'd been waiting almost 20 years for that film, not the 10 year olds the promotional tie-ins were designed for.
Big-budget thrillers like The Phantom Menace are made for kids, teens, and young adults, because those people spend a ridiculous amount of money on films and related products.
Producing a big-budget movie for us fossils who worshipped Star Wars as kids would be incredibly foolish. We can't be relied on to spend our money on pop-culture crap any more. Instead, we piss too much of it away on things like mortgages, SUVs, college funds, and children.
When I saw Phantom Menace, the saddest part was the disappointed reaction of 30-year-olds who expected to leave the theater with the same wide-eyed excitement they had at age 10. It's like going back to your childhood home and lamenting the fact that all the trees in your yard are a lot smaller than they used to be.
Face it -- the torch has been passed. If it's too dumb, you're too old.
Rogers Cadenhead (Web: http://www.cadenhead.org/workbench)
...would I have to buy to prevent George from releasing the film?
big furry Wookies fighting the stormtroopers
Maybe Lucas thought we'd seen enough Wookie culture in the Star Wars Christmas Special
I saw the title, wiped my fevered brow and said, "But Hayden Christensen looks and sounds cool."
Then I heard Nancy Sinatra and thought of Austin Powers. I heard a voice: "I love to see girls of that calibre!"
Then suddenly the Grace Jones video of her version of "Demolition Man" floated through my mind. If you've seen it, ya know what I mean. If ya don't yer just a pup.
The party's over
screw this - I just want to see the cloned anidalas geting it on...
hadmacker & aurel
Obi-Wan: Bring on the clones!!
I jtLOVE vladinr's sie!Epecillt hefah secio,whe I arnet cut bott offan oldsir touseas hair nhet Oh,ad the dncet hoto!
furs, dt etto realadiator's emais! Hee yuwliscoer how l dfil it is todcide whato doo the wekeds.. ae a pzapay fas at?G thl wth l of yorfinds Have sleepr andll oys ntehe?
nhrtf&# 121;ou han' checked ouadnaors i ou nt no ht yuemissin
Think of the merchandise spinoffs!
It's "Killer Klones from Outer Space!"
Venn ist das nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ya! Beigerhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
If you camp out just to get tickets for a fucking movie, you've got bigger problems than a lame title.
...if only to complain. So will I. So will almost everyone else in this forum. But that's OK. I don't think it makes anyone into a hypocrite if he or she wants to spend $7 for some cool CGI eye-candy.
Just repeat to yourself, it's just a movie, I should really just relax.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
Er, this came as a suprise to you? He was sacrificed and came back from the dead to redeem Narnia in the first book. Lewis was not subtle about these things.
_O_
.|< The named which can be named is not the true named
Here's what me and the kob think about all this:
----- Original Message -----
From: Matt Cribben
To: mr@jasongullickson.com
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2001 10:04 AM
Subject: man
did you hear about the next star wars title?
----- Original Message -----
From: Jason J. Gullickson
To: Matt Cribben
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2001 12:36 PM
Subject: Re: man
yeah, what do you think?
----- Original Message -----
From: Matt Cribben
To: Jason J. Gullickson
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2001 1:43 PM
Subject: Re: man
I'm a little torn.
1- it sounds stupid
but
2- it's hindering these dorks from saying "it's the greatest films ever" and acting like idiots, so that's good.
dunno.
----- Original Message -----
From: Jason J. Gullickson
To: Matt Cribben
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2001 1:53 PM
Subject: Re: man
It should be "attack of Jar-Jar"
----- Original Message -----
From: Matt Cribben
To: Jason J. Gullickson
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2001 1:43 PM
Subject: Re: man
or "Episode II: Get over it nerds, it's just a freakin movie"
second society
Lucas been smokin doobies, doobies lead to muncies, munchies lead to cheesy poofs cheesy poofs lead to cheesy titles. Btw have you seen the size of lucas latley. http://64.78.24.207/yota.jpg
According to some interrviews I've seen with Mr. Lucas, the original ROTJ story was that ewoks were supposed to be Wookies (Chewie was not originally intended for Episode III) But Kucas didn't know if there wouild ever be an ep. IV, so he recast Han's sidekick as a wookie. Then, when ROTJ rolled around, he couldn't use wookies anymore so he 'cut them in half' (his words) and created Ewoks.
This Isnt the title your looking for, move along now .. damit i said move along , NEXT clown i mean clone
..it seems Weird Al Yankovic can't make a living out of this episode, since he's already got a clone song!
"I think I'm a clone now.."
Star Wars Episode II : all your Jedi are belong to us hahaha maybe they will make up for it by having a clone army of skimpy dressed natalie portman evil slut clones hmmmmmm candy, candy , CANDY !!
Actually, i think a better song would be:
"I think I'm a clone now" By Wierd Al
I think I'm a clone now
There always seems to be 2 of me just a hanging around.
It goes more aptly, I mean Lucas can't think seriously about his franchise with the names he is giving it right?
Do you Gentoo!?
Line 'em all up, all the Star Wars films, and no matter how much I loved the first three (still can't bring myself to see Episode One), all combined I still think that "American Graffiti" is far and away a much better film.
My name is Carlos Montoya. You share files of my music. Prepare to die.
I have been reading Slashdot for several years. I created an account just to post this. And here is what I have to say:
This is getting silly. Half of the comments here seem to be lamenting the fact that the prequel trilogy appears to be geared towards children. Well, I've got news for you: the same applies to the original trilogy as well. You just don't realize it because you were so young when the movies first came out.
Do you know why almost everybody here hates the Ewoks in ROTJ? Because they make you feel insecure. You're afraid that people will laugh at you for watching a children's movie with talking teddy-bears in it. And they will. You should just shrug it off, but you can't because of your low self-esteem. And, for some reason, you can't realize that the average Joe sees all Star Wars movies as children's movies, regardless of whether they have Ewoks or Jar-Jar in them or not.
The Jargon File has a section called "A Portrait of J. Random Hacker". I'm sure most of you here have read it. The section has a list of "Things Hackers Detest and Avoid", and here is how it begins:
"Offensive cuteness" seems to rank very high on the list, right after Microsoft. Why is this? I believe that the reason is the same as stated above: you fear that being associated with any sort of "cuteness" (such as the Ewoks in ROTJ) will make you look ridiculous and childish in the eyes of others. And a lot of people seem to think that enjoying "dark" movies such as The Empire Strikes Back or The Matrix will somehow help you gain acceptance and credibility.
Sorry to rain on your parade, but it doesn't work that way. Nobody cares if you prefer The Empire Strikes Back to Return of the Jedi, or The Matrix to The Phantom Menace, or Babylon 5 to Star Trek. Again, to the proverbial average Joe, it's just "stupid sci-fi for geeks and nerds". That's what people think.
And here's another explanation: many of you are depressed and therefore can't stand the thought of "offensive cuteness" such as talking teddy bears or Jar Jar. You'd rather wear all black, watch splatter movies and listen to German industrial rock while fantasizing about killing your classmates or coworkers. Sorry about being a bit over the top, but this is how "regular people" see you. They don't see you as intelligent persons who appreciate a good sci-fi movie. Instead, they see you as sad computer geeks.
Somebody here wrote something along the lines of "well, Star Wars sucks, but fortunately we'll still have The Matrix and Lord of the Rings".
Huh? Are sci-fi and fantasy movies all you have? If you get mad because the title of the new Star Wars movie did not live up to your expectations, I think you should seriously re-examine the priorities in your life.
Yes, of course we have to see it but consider these options:
Plan A: Pay for another movie and then sneak into the Episode II theater, thereby depriving Lucas of the money.
Plan B: DO NOT see it on opening weekend! Wait at least a week or 2, thereby depriving Lucas of those all important opening weekend numbers!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Sadly as the special effects get better the acting and already weak plots get worse in SF spectaculars. Oh well atleast there's still the Red Dwarf movie next year...
... Dragon?
Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
Yeah, but what villian would be stupid enough to clone Jar-Jars???
What villain would be stupid enough, after having destroyed an entire enemy invasion force by flying into the ship and blowing up the reactor, to build not one but TWO Death Stars with the same flaw?
Star Wars Episode II: A Darkened Heart.
Would be a good title given the primary story line in this edition (Anakin->Vader), and would be a good-natured poke at El Presidente.
Carl G. Jung
--
"With one breath, with one flow, You will know Synchronicity" -La Policia
(sings)
There should be clones.... send in the clones....
(... and they ate Sir Robin's minstrels, and there was much rejoicing -- yaay)
500,000 Natalie Portmans, all naked and petrified?
I'm not a smorgasbord.
I (somehow) managed not to see Star Wars as a kid. When Phantom Menace was coming out, I rented the original trilogy, and thought it was great. I went to see Phantom Menace, and ten minutes into it I knew it was not on the same level as the other movies. So I don't buy that everyone just thinks it's worse because they saw the originals as kids.
And Luke's starting out as a teenager, when even Anakin at 8 (or is it 10? I forget) is thought by Yoda to be too old to begin.
And Yoda was right, too.
Just look how Anakin turned out; and Luke was a second-rater who wouldn't have lasted 5 seconds against Darth Maul.
We're not allowed to hit rock bottom until Ep3 comes out, unfortunately.
Anyone know where one could get a copy of "Phantom Edit"? I was pleasantly shocked to find out that Amazon has "George Lucas In Love", so why not this too?
On the same note, will someone be ambitious enough to produce an "Edit of the Clones" in advance so we can skip seeing Lucas' take on the story? I think it would save us all a precious 2 hours from our lives...
DO NOT LEAVE IT IS NOT REAL
Wait a minute....
Back in around 1983, Parker Brothers released a cartridge for the Atari VCS based upon the At-At Walker portions of "The Empire Strikes Back". The legendary UK Commodore games author Jeff Minter released a virtual clone of the game called "Attack of the Mutant Camels". There was a later sequel called "Revenge of the Mutant Camels", which was simillar to the title of the third film.
Are the clones Mutant Camels? Has George Lucas ever played "Hover Bover"? Are Jeff Minter and Euan McGregor Related? I think we should be told.
That was sooooooooo friggin funny. Probably the most obscure Simpsons reference EVER, nice work!
We need a support group. Come the advertising blitz, it's going to be damn hard to tough it out.
As a complete aside, there's an insanely slick British sitcom called "Spaced" in which the protagonist is sacked from a comic book store for refusing to sell a Jar Jar doll. Priceless.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Imagine Jar-Jar in the Enterprise...
ID: the nose did not occur naturally, how would we wear glasses otherwise? (apologies to Voltaire)
'Vader' is also suspiciously close to 'wader' which in English means someone who walks in shallow water. The parallels are uncanny.
It also resembles 'Vadem' which makes a line of Windows CE products. Windows == Bad == Darth Vader? Hmm... Now there's one for you to think about.
just a note, i dont know what you're talking about the "frank herbert estate atrocities", because if you're referring to dune: house atreides and dune:house harkonnen i think they're great. just because they weren't written by frank herbert himself doesn't mean they aren't worth reading. in fact i like how they provide a story that leads directly into where the original dune started and i, simply put, will cream when they complete dune 7 and i get to read it and figure out what happens with all the honored matres crap. i guess it's just a matter of opinion =]
The real problem I see is that Lucas waited too long before making his prequels. Compare the robots in TPM to the ones in the second trilogy - the weapons too. Unless he comes up with a plausible reason in Episode 3 ("Me and my Wookie") for the technology to have devolved...
IMO, what hurt Phantom Menace was first, the long gap between the first trilogy and it and second, the fact that it was a prequel. JarJar was annoying, but I'm sure he was SUPPOSED to be. Given those limitations, I think it was a good movie and I'm still looking forward to the next 2.
Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
On the other hand, 30 or 40 years from now, if you view the first six in numerical order, it will probably look like a natural maturing.
Depends on who picks up at 7, I guess.
Aliens vs. Alien
Another "sequel better than original"
I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
I wonder if there's a french guy that's going to replace the original light sabre's with the medical instruments he's suing for because he claims they are so much alike. The french guy would say, "Sir, do you realize you are not using the regular light saber's, but you are using Minrad's special Light Sabre' syringes?" (Said in the form of Folger's coffee commercials)
Ohhh, the further I got through that sentence, the more I thought you were gonna say "movie". I'm SO glad you actually said "games". =o)
People will pass up steak once a week, for crap every day.
So just to be clear about this, you actually regard "Star Wars" as a good name?
Episode I he mentioned that he no longer wants to continue the series after finishing the two remaining prequels. Of course, his mind my have changed by now...
Never underestimate the power of greed!!! [greenbacks]
I can see it now...
Empiror asks his not so bright Sith to "Clone the the dolly" (referring to Natalie whom he secretly desires). Instead of lots Princess to play with, he gets a docking bay full of genetically malformed sheep with big sharp nasty teeth and nasty wool coats.
Enter Obiwan with his double edge light sheers to save the day while Anakin knits a sweater (no wonder the kid turned out bad). Amidst the carnage, sits the Emperor mumbling something about the stupid Sith and mint jelly.
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nshrt, if ou 'cec ked oladina'& #115; sit, udo't now whtyouemising!
> YMMV, but man, I just can't put JW in the same league as
> KS and QT. The latter 2 have a serious gift for dialogue.
Hrmm...I'll try to pay more attention to this--You may be right, but Whedon's dialogue still flows infinitely better than anything that JMS wrote on B5.
One thing I have noticed on both Buffy and Angel is that some of the writers try way too hard to write dialogue like Joss, usually resulting in Willow speaking like a babytalking simpleton or Spike being a little too self-consciously "cool."
"My God...It's full of ads!" -Fry, about the Internet, Futurama
uh huh. Good troll in the first sentence there. I take my hat off to someone who can stereotype 99,999 people based solely on an ID number. I love the binary distinction people like you are trying to make between "kids movies" and "adult movies". You really must sit down and draw me a picture sometime, I'm sure it'd be fascinating. >Many "child movies" do attempt to explore > great themes. Right. Which makes them "child movies" which incororate elements designed to engage adults and children on different levels. You just blew away your own argument. But then its fundamentally a troll: >Face it, people always love what they grew >up with as kids. Classic tactics. If anyone attempts to disagree with you, you can just go "hah hah, look who never grew up and doesn't realise it. I'm the adult who knows exactly what an *adult* movie is." Yawn. Move along please.
Lord Pixel - The cat who walks through walls
A little bigger on the inside than out
Bad feeling on this I have!
No sorry, Episode 3 has already been named, where have you been:
Star Wars Episode III: For Great Justice
A World in a Grain of Sand / Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Infinity in the Palm of your Hand / And Eternity in an Hour.
Have any people who have actually seen Star Wars post here? Chronologically they are going to have to fit in the clone wars which Anakin and Obi Wan both fought in. My guess is that's what the movie's about. In which case, the name would make since.
True, there is a massive contrast between ESB and TPM, but they're also very different movies telling very different kinds of stories.
TPM is essentially prologue. It's setting the stage for what will happen in the rest of the series. The atmosphere (one I think Lucas didn't do that good a job of portraying) is that of an idyllic Republic that's soon to fall apart. It makes no sense for such a movie to be dark, especially considering Anakin's just a kid -- and one has to portray his innocence for his descent into corruption to have any meaning whatsoever.
ESB, on the other hand, is the middle act of the classic trilogy. It's is the moment in the story when all seems lost, before the final victory of the good guys in ROTJ. So, of course it's going to be light on the cutesy-poo.
I like ESB a lot and wouldn't have it any other way. But to have all the movies resemble it wouldn't make any dramatic sense to me. There'd be no story arc of corruption and redemption to speak of. It'd just be corruption all the way around, and if I want to see that, I'll go watch Blade Runner again or something.
Of course, Episode III is the middle act of the whole series, and Lucas has said it will most likely be the darkest of all the movies, with the wholesale slaughter of the Jedi and the triumph of the Empire -- before the upswing of Episode IV. So you'll have that to look forward to, if that's your thing.
I think "Aliens" falls into the category of being better than the original. "Terminator 2" is also pretty good. "Star Trek 2" was also markedly better than the original. You're right, though, there aren't many examples.
- Spryguy
There are three kinds of people in this world: those that can count and those that can't
--Richard
Hmmm, I'm late of course, but...
Episode II: Raiders of The Lost Clone
Episode II: Who Clones Last Clones Best
Episode II: Three Men and a Clone
Episode II: Clones in Toyland
Episode II: Some Clones Like it Hot
Episode II: The Cloned Suspects
Episode II: Clone and Dagger
Episode II: Clone as Clone Can
Episode II: Clone this!
Episode II: Clon-o Trigger
Episode II: Clonebusters
Episode II: Jar-Jar Rastafari
Episode II: May The Clones Not Be With You
Episode II: Clones Galore!
Episode II: A Clone! A Clone! My Kingdom for a Clone!
Episode II: Citizen Clone
A World in a Grain of Sand / Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Infinity in the Palm of your Hand / And Eternity in an Hour.
Don't forget the cut shot to Bob Dole as the emporer, saying 'Down Boy'......
Don't bother, they've got enough janitors.
-- chdz
From the IMDB
The [commentary] is theirs, not mine.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
The good thing with 'The attack of the Clones' is that every clone will have a distinctive number on the shoulder. That way, Lucacs can make big money on Merchandising because kids will need to have the whole collection to play the passage of the movie where Clone 16 and 42 were fighting. Nice move...
</sarcasm>
Other than that, although TFM was somewhat bad, nothing tells me episode II will suck. If Lucas spent even half an hour checking websites about his movie on the net, he'll know what people thought of Jar-Jar and < emphasis>**MIGHT**</emphasis> not do the same mistake again...
I personally hope so and will anyway go see the episode II when it's out.
Just my e.02
One shall speak only if what one has to say is more beautiful than silence
This sort of armchair psychoanalysis may impress some people (like a few moderators), but if you try to use it in any serious context you'll be mocked and ridiculed.
The clone wars? What does CK1 and Coolwater have to do with star wars?
I jutLOVvladintor's sie! spialhe "fash sectn her Ierned to t th btom f f dshrt to s ahai enhncmn! anhe "ance party"pt!
;ou dont no wh youemisng
Ofur, do't fgt to radldiator's ema re ou ildisove ho ldfic 7;lt t io dei wtto doon wekeds...ave pza arty? A fshpar?Go theall th f your rien? Havealeepoerand caloys onth oe?
hor, ifyu hant heutvl ainat'ssie,y
Nah, Mel Brooks was gonna use that for Spaceballs II.
why does anyone care about the title. That is completely superficial and has NO effect on the movie. What? Would you rather have some one-in-a-million title but a shitty movie? Which would you change, the title of Episode 1 or the actual shitty movie? Lets petition for real plots, complex themes and adult character interaction. No that has NOTHING to do with anything sexual, cussing or other crap. It means something that is insightful, thought provoking and lasting. Something that looks like it was a story being told, not 'plot-lets' wrapped around some money making scheme as an afterthought. How about getting some of the good book writers to do the script. They seem (well, before the latest load of crap came out... pre 2000) to have a grasp on how to use the existing universe, its history and the underlying themes already in place to tell a great story. Not being cute and cuddly in order to make small children laugh and subsequently demand their foolish parents buy them the latest assortment of StarWars Action figures, underwear, rain jackets, lunch bags, book bags, caps, pencils and notebooks. (not to mention the later cerial and poptarts with various Star Wars themes thrown on the wrapping.)
It is lame to bash or even look down on other geeks because you think their tastes aren't hardcore enough-- isn't it enough that half the world already looks down on us? Do we need to add to the persecution?
-m
I mean, come on. I got to enjoy ROTJ when it came out precisely because I wasn't some hard-core SW geek. I got to see the 3 originals ONCE each when they came out. I didn't obsess over each and every detail and who said what.
In fact, the only movies I got to see more than once when I was a kid were Raiders Of The Lost Ark and Back To The Future.
So even I got to see the crap that Lucas tried to pull with TPM, it's quite clear that he lost it long ago.
That's only what he said. This was a continuing news item. First Revenge of the Jedi is announced, then Vengeance of Kahn is announce in early '82. Then the Lucas Law-Troopers made the trekkies change their title. Vengeance of Khan (which had several working titles including The Undiscovered Country) gets released as the Wrath of Khan. Lucas then abandons Revenge for Return claiming some nonsense about Jedi Revenge not being appropriate, when in reality we all know that just wanted the Trekkies to know that he was in control.
Remember finding out about child abuse on Gont, and why wizards from Roke avoided girls, in Ursula Le Guin's Tehanu?
First, it's weird that you chose a Le Guin book as your first example. The Wizard of Earthsea wasn't exactly one of my childhood favorites, and besides, Le Guin gets odder with every book.
Remember when all the kids got killed, and Aslan turned into Jesus, in C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle?
Man, if you're only getting the Christian alegory of the Narnia books, you did read them young. Frankly, that was the bigger betrayal by Lewis, in my opinion. I'd always loved the Narnia books, especially everyone's introduction: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. But when I re-read them at 18, Aslan as Christ drips so thickly that it's just sickening. Now I can't read any of them. Pah.
Remember when Bilbo Baggins turned into an old, evil monster (if only for a moment) in J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings -- and then the "sequel" to that had no hobbits, only elf genealogy and linguistics?
This example is getting better. The Hobbit is much more of a kid's book. There's enough there for an adult to enjoy, but there's nothing tricky going on. Part of the evil of the One Ring is that just wanting it taints you, and kindly, good natured burglar that he is, it's the more tragic that Bilbo has been tainted. And face it, the Silmarilion details events leading up to the beginning of the Age that Rings describes the end of. So, first, it's not a "sequel," or even a prequel, really, but more like a history, or a mythic lay, which is how it reads.
If it's not what you expected -- that is, what you extrapolated from the first movie(s) or book(s) -- you're not going to like it. We build cosy little worlds from the "original" stories, then hate it when the author intrudes.
Ultimately, it's the author's right to do or say anything with the world he imagines. As as audience we can comment, criticize, or even extrapolate. But ultimately it's impossible for the author to "intrude." His is the authoritative word, as it were.
Regarding Star Wars, the first trilogy began simply, even shallowly (and the lead was similarly poorly acted - forget Jar Jar, Jake Lloyd sucks balls), but built into a much more complex and satisfying story over the course of the trilogy. Empire used to be my least favorite of the three, but it improves the most with age.
I've been hoping this first trilogy would turn out about the same, and it certainly has started out about the same point. Clones will be where the trilogy stands or falls, in that it can make up for Jar Jar and Lil' Anakin, Wunderkind, or it can leave Episode III with nowhere left to go.
And, I for one would stand by the title. It's a space opera for cryin' out loud. The first one is called The Phantom Menace, you know? Eesh.
IP is just rude.
Is there any torture so subl
I remember when I first heard that Epidose 1 would be called "The Phantom Menace". I thought it was a rather stupid B movie title, and no movie could take itself seriously with such a name. I wasn't very emotional about it though. This was when I still had faith in George Lucas. I waited with confidence that it would be changed to something more dramatic and fitting with Star Wars as everyone knows there were two other names for RotJ before the final name was chosen. Eventually, the release date for TPM arrived around the same time I realized that the title wasn't going to change after all. Now, I find myself in the same situation, minus the confidence in George Lucas. It's now obvious to me that The Attack of the Clones will remain as the official title when Ep 2 is released, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I shall heed the warning that I received when I first heard "The Phantom Menace" and now "Attack of the Clones" and avoid this movie at all cost.
Yeah, but it was all mentioned, in such a way that it had to have been something important, in the original movies, way before any of this human cloning stuff. Just bad timing.
"Now with 'Super Memoir-Writing Action'"
------------------------------
I just LOVE vladinator's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read vladinator's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out vladinator's site, you don't know what you're missing!
Nope, he doesn't do the voice of Ben. Ben is some 60 year old radio guy. He does, however, do the voice of the trucker. Emmett, his name is, if I recall correctly. The guy with the Imperial symbol tattoo.
Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
I'm confused, its not april first, slashdot didn't get compromised did it? I mean this HAS to be a joke? Right? Right?
OHH GOD TELL ME ITS A JOKE!!!
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Just you wait. The war is going to be led by the evil Prince Matchabelli...and you'll be able to purchase "Jar-Jar in a jar" at finer retailers everywhere.
(back on topic) You know, the disadvantage of having clones in a war is that you won't be able to use DNA identify the remains.
Inventor of the LOLbalrog meme.
You can cruise at sea level and still be way over the moderators heads.
That's not a bad idea, though... I think I'll see it drunk.
My obligatory title suggestion: Star Wars: Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Clones* (But Were Afraid To Ask)
You knew it had to covered somewhere. Aside from Anakin and Ben, Boba Fet(sp?) is a veteran of the Clone Wars.
At the next eco-hypocrisy-meeting, count the private jets used to get to the meeting. Should be interesting to see that
I'm sure your wife would have said the same thing had you taken her to a re-showing of Star Wars: A New Hope. The acting was always horrible and hokey, and so was the plot. Get over it!
I have a website. It's about Macs.
I just LOVE vladinator's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read vladinator's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out vladinator's site, you don't know what you're missing!
But uhhh... most of us already knew the basic plot of Episode II, long before Episode I was released. It doesn't make sense. True, it goes along with the other cheesy titles ("A New Hope", "The Empire Strikes Back", etc.), but "The Clone Wars" would have been SO much better...
People will pass up steak once a week, for crap every day.
"Remember when Bilbo Baggins turned into an old, evil monster (if only for a moment) in J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings -- and then the "sequel" to that had no hobbits, only elf genealogy and linguistics? "
Hummm.
Well lets see.
The hobbit was a kids book IMO.
The Lord of the Rings was not, it was far more adult in content, and had none of the cutesey kids stuff the hobbit did have.
The Silmirillian (sp)is what you are thinking of as a sequil? I thought it was a pre-hystory of the elves.
I think you dont know what you are talking about and taking liberties with the facts in your examples.
I'm amazed you can still hear anything after sitting close to the brass section :). We just play as loud as we can to make up for the boredom of counting yet another 250 bars rest...
-- Help Digitise the Public Domain at DP.
Yes. And have the clowns from "Killer Clowns from Outer Space". (They deserve a better movie.) And a theme song by the Dickies. Then we'll have something worth hearing at least.
I'm the urban spaceman babe, but here comes the twist... I don't exist
Fall of the Jedi
Fall of the Republic
Return of the Sith
They all tie in nicely to "Return of the Jedi."
sig fault
Hot damn your behind, I get stuff off the internet a week BEFORE ITS MADE!
Hehe
Well it sure as hell that way at times!
Need help treating your acne? Come here!
Star Wars Episode II: Natalie Portman Copulates With A Badboy
Maybe you should get busy mass-murdering people so you can catch her attention...
I am for the complete Trantorization of Earth.
Who do you think the clones are going to be of? Sheesh I saw this coming when they killed Darth Maul. It's pretty damned obvious.
> Harlan Ellison's was the sole, lonely critical voice to be raised against it, and even in his case his point wasn't so much that it sucked, but just that it wasn't quite as good as everyone else was saying.
I saw it at college age. I was disappointed because it was space opera rather than "hard" scifi of the 2001 variety. But at least it was fun. I've rented it several times, and I'll rent it again someday.
That Pathetic Movie wasn't fun, and I certainly won't be renting it.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Annakin starts to whistle to Jar Jar, and yell phrases like "get in behind ya mungrle!" "steady! steady!" "good boy!", as Jar Jar runs around, hearding the sheep into a spaceship.
Beware all ye who would criticize the genius of Lucas, for is it not written in the revised, updated and George (dubya) Bush approved version of The Constitution of the United States of the Multinational Corporations (now available as an Adobe(R)(TM)(C)All Rights Reserved E-book for $19.99 per view, order today! Operators are standing by!) In article I section 1 that George Lucas is hereby declared the greatest storyteller of all time and all law abiding and Bill Gates fearing citizens are required to pay homage to him by seeing any and all movies with the name Star Wars multiple times and by further paying homage by standing in ridiculously long lines at the local Wal-Mart to purchase dozens of non-biodegradable plastic toys for the betterment of our young(isn't it grand of us to think of the children?).
Yea and those who dare not to venerate the name of Lucas and pay the required homage shall be stricken from the rolls of the nation. They will be outcasts in their own land of birth. Denied bland conversation with their fellow citizens about the masterworks of Lucas, they will wallow in their anguish. They shall be stricken from the lists of people to be protected in time of war and their names will be added to the lists of those who will not recieve the bounty of this great land in the form of Blue Light specials and the occasional Buy one Get one FREE sales at the local Piggly Wiggly. They shall be stricken from the rolls of every good and beneficient policy this great conglomerate bestows upon it's consumers. Moreover their name shall be dupliated in all databases related to taxation and if they ever contest this clause, they are subject to auditing by the BSA, RIAA, MPAA and Rectal-Probers-R-Us.
So let it be written(in tiny print behind an encryption scheme which may not be broken under article two of this constitution, formerly known as the DMCA) so let it be done.
Now if you missed this update to the supreme law of our land, that isn't my fault. I suggest you rush right out to your computer and fully enable all the update packages you can and register any and all software you have. I got this preview of our new constitution as a bonus when I downloaded the latest version of Minsweeper, the official game of the land. Baseball isn't bringing in enough money it seems.
Steven
-- I have marked myself unwilling to moderate-- I don't have other accounts to artificially inflate the karma of
Terminator 2 was way better than the original. Even the sex scene in the sequel was better, and there wasn't a sex scene in the sequel.
I utLOE adinaos st! Espiy te "fs"etion whee leard to ut te bottom off of ol s t se s a harenhcement! h ndte nce par"hto!
;foret t vlir'se
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O os,on' 
In short i you hn'ceced o ldinar's sit,o do't knowhat y'e sn!
Alternate titles you say? Why not try:
Oni the Anonymous Oxymoron strikes again
Just like us?
"I think I'm a clone now, 'cause everywhere I go I'm always hanging around" and other such lyrics from I think I'm a clone now.
--- I used to moderate, then I read the -1 articles and decided having to filter through them was not worth it.
Wow, a topic that would actually warrant a Natalie Portman troll, and I haven't seen one yet. You guys are weird.
I saw them as a kid so I can't say anything, but if you read some of the posts here on /. you'll notice that a lot of the people saw them when they were in their 20's in 1977 (remember, people stood in lines for days to watch the movie repeatedly back then, when you were 8 would your mom let you stand outside in the city for days to watch a movie?). My parents liked the movie when they saw it originally (as adults). There were plenty of 45+ year olds at the theatre both times I saw TPM (I went openning day by myself on vacation, then again with my friends, not because I actually liked the movie).
IANAL, but I play one on
Thanks for teaching me something... I had no idea they used to show movies from 70mm film. That's awesome. I saw a short movie in one of those science theme park type things in France (Futuroscope) that was 70mm and something like 72fps. The detail was amazing, and the motion was fantastic. Dumb film, though. :)
Karma: Chameleon (Mostly affected by the 1980s)
It should have been Disco Wars -Have you ever noticed what Han Solo was wearing?
if common sense was common, wouldn't everyone have it?
I'm afraid that this ship is FULLY OPERATIONAL!
Now if "Wheel Of Time" was made into a 20 movie series...DAMN!
-Mark
Dovie'andi se tovya sagain.
True, but you can't really argue that those books are on the same level, cause they're not even close. I was tremendously disappointed after I read Dune:House Atreides, but when I went back and read it again, not expecting a work like the original, I enjoyed it much more. I would say the same thing about Star Wars: Episode I.
I just LOE vladinatorsite Eeially te fh"secin,wh& #101;e Ilane tocuthe botomoff f anld ir o use asaaienhaceme ;! Oh ndhe"dance arty" poos
Of couse do' forge to ed laiaor mal! Heyo ill discov ow tuy difficu stdeide wat odoon tweekns.. haiza party? Afsh ? G the al withll ou friend? He aseepove ndcall boys th hon?
Ishor, iyo avnt checkedoutvladintor's site,udo' knw ha yu're missn
Hell, when you get right down to it, "Star Wars" is pretty damn corny itself. *shrug*
People will pass up steak once a week, for crap every day.
I'd like to see Star Wars: The Erotic Adventures of Jar-Jar
-NeoTomba
Ijust LOVE vladatr's st Espcialy th "fash" secionwhee rnt 11; cut ebotom o of an odshir to se as a har anemt! O ad ac art"pot!
f core, n frgtored vaiaor's emals! ere wl di hwruif
 2;ict it is o deidewhatoo onthe weekens.ave a pzapr A fasparty o tallwt a o yurfriends a a slepov and cll bo o thpoe
Inhrifyou 2;havn'teckdou 16; adno st, you don' nw wt you're misig!
...as long as it still has Natalie Portman in it! :-)
-Derek
My parody from the MacAddict Forums:
*Scene From Star Wars 2: Attack Of The Clones*
[scene: Anakin and the Queen are sitting in a building that looks like a modern warehouse]
Anakin: Look! A clone! They are attacking!
[a cardboard standup of Anakin is lowered to the floor using rope]
Standup: RAR!!!!!
Anakin: I will.... (line?)
Offstage: I will kill him!
Anakin: I will kill him!
[Anakin takes out a plastic lightsaber (purchased at Amazon.com) and pokes a hole in the standup]
Standup: Gah! You have... uh.... KILLED ME!!!!!!!
[a stagehand runs in front of the camera and lights the standup on fire]
Anakin: Ha ha! Look at him burn!
Queen: All this killing is a real turn-on, Anakin!
Anakin: It is?
[they conceive Leia]
Elmo knows where you live!
Whoops! I have no idea what I was smoking when I posted that.
Help save the critically endangered Blue Iguana
Cojones? Cojones? We doan need no steeking cojones!
Oh, wait. Nevermind.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Acting: You're forgetting Christopher Lee.
Do you maybe mean Peter Cushing? Christopher Lee wasn't in Star Wars, he was too busy in 1977 making quality films like "Dracula and Son" and "Meatcleaver Massacre". Although I notice with some interest that he is in SW episode 2 as the ludicrously named "Darth Tyranus".
Anyway, my wife dragged me along to see Phantom Menace despite my complete disinterest (how's that for a reversal of the usual Slashdot story?), and frankly, Christopher Lee or no Christopher Lee, if she wants to see episode 2 she's going by herself. Life's too short to watch two more hours of this kind of excrement.
Let's see, Anakin gets accepted into a Jedi school on another planet, and then Amidala gathers up all her costume changes and her fur-upholstered knickknacks and droids, and ... oh forget it.
there are always bigger fish.
(back on topic) You know, the disadvantage of having clones in a war is that you won't be able to use DNA identify the remains.
Ahem, just out of curiosity: why would you want or need to?
A World in a Grain of Sand / Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Infinity in the Palm of your Hand / And Eternity in an Hour.
Well, I first thought the title was too similar to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." I suppose we could suggest "Attack of the Killer Tacos."
Except if we follow Lucas' logic, Episode II has nothing to do with "The Republic Strikes Back". It'll be about putting the main characters in a really crappy situation. EII follows the continued decay of the Republic, it's not "striking" anything. Oh yeah, and the Sith returned in Episode I.
Yes, a planetary queen and her court would continue to drag a ne'er-do-well slacker with them through the galaxy.
Although, his ability to defy the laws of physics when moving, seeming like a cartoon character rather than something with mass and momentum, certainly requires further scientific study...
I am for the complete Trantorization of Earth.
Perhaps in 2 or three you will be introduced to some team of Force Wielding writers who have a knack for producing childish and simplistic plots and stories simply to rake in money instead of telling a story.
This time, every thing to do with the second movie is denigrated. Rumors are treated with rolling of eyes. News is ridiculed. This movie is going to suck, we say...and then the movie will come out and...
________________
Private Essayist
> Do people who enjoyed George Lucas' original trilogy (well, minus the last half of RotJ) really care about the George Lucas' current focus on ten-year-olds?
Perhaps I overestimate the mental prowess of ten-year-olds, but don't you think TPM was targeted more at the six-year-old crowd?
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
"True; it was changed to prevent confusion with Star Trek II: The Revenge of Khan, "
What really would have been funny if they changed the name to "Return of Khan" thus adding to the confusion. Hilarity ensues! Zany, madcap hijinx!
-J5K
The libertarian solution to the failures of capitalism is to apply more capitalism til the failures are fixed.
When Good Fantasy Turns Bad
So... gasp! Your assumed script may very well be....... WRONG! Imagine that.
Kill him off? How about Episode 1 Special Edition where all scenes are remastered not to include any trace of Jar Jar.
Or, how about: Episode II: Star Whores starring Natalie Portman... Disclaimer: I'm not implying she's a whore, but I'd pay to see a movie where she is one.
WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
Well, at least that explains why they can never hit what they're aiming at.
"Where shall the word be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence." -T.S. Eliot
Or "Clones Gone Wild".
Does nobody else think that Star Wars: Clone Wars just sounds redundant? I mean, the title Star Wars wasn't exactly brilliant to begin with.
Thank goodness they didn't give us "Space Swords" or the "Star Empire" a decade ago. It could have been worse!
'The Empire Strikes Back' dark and epic??? Geez, take it at face value and see what kind of a title THAT really is.. 'Attack of the Clones' isn't all that bad, if you come to think of it..
>I hate Lisp. Legions of emacs and Sawfish users would beg to differ, I'm sure.
Will George Cloney be doing any parts?
Ok, Ok, I'm going to go quietly now....
I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
Star Wars: Episode 3: Your Childhood Memories are Raped For Two Solid Hours, then the Orchestral Score and Mood Lighting in the Last Thirty Seconds Tricks You into Thinking that this is a Worthy Prequel to Episode 4.
A little unwieldy, I grant you, but it's only a working title.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Being an identical twin (i.e. a clone), I can tell you this, one twin is always inherently evil. BTW, I'm the good twin. ;)
Although I personally feel that Empire is the better film, I also feel that things start to fall apart about half way through. Darth Vader is Luke's father? Come on. "From a certain point of view" is the biggest cop-out in the history of cinema. By the time we get to Jedi, we've got those damn ewoks. The mythology has run out. I'm sure that "Beowulf II" or "Gilgamesh Takes Manhattan" would have similar problems.
When it comes to Episode I, a great many of us had grown up with the Star Wars mythos, and had developed inflated expectations, espeically after 20 years. But really, all it was, and maybe all we should have expected, was a passable good sci-fi flick, complete with cutesey alien ripe for his own Taco Bell cup. In brief defense of Jar-Jar, if you're going to do the FIRST fully CGI main character in a motion picture that's going to be a MAJOR release, it's going to go a hell of a lot easier on you if he's more of a characature than anything else.
And as an example of how ingrained Star Wars really is, how many of you, no matter what movie it is, when you hear the full 20th Century Fox fanfare, expect the first chord of the Star Wars them to immediately follow?
BTW in 1977, I was 9, and I thought that Close Encounters blew Star Wars away.
But masters, remember that I am an ass: though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.
NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!
I mean, let's face it, the only way Star Wars will ever catch up to Flash Gordon is to show actual penetration (and not with lightsabers). This may make parents slightly less willing to drag their kids through Lucas's money-sucking machine (but what the hell do I know, I remember seeing parents with kids at Basic Instinct). Anyway, it would make for some... interesting... action figures.
Help save the critically endangered Blue Iguana
MST3K Presents: Star Wars: The Clonus Horror
Yoda: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to... SUFFERING.
Crow T Robot: No, this movie leads to suffering.
Joel: Now that's not nice. It's accurate, but it's not nice.
Tom Servo: Wouldn't it be "Suffering, hate leads to."? heh heh heh.
Joel: "It ain't easy being green and wrinkled and 850 years old."
Erik
"You," Bite me.
"Each and every one of you." Bite me.
I remember hearing that the movie was suppose to come out this summer. I guess I was wrong seeing how I dont live under a rock or anything. Anyone know when its comming out?
ustLVE ldintor' sie! specallyt "fsh ecto,where lerdto uthe ottom ff anl hio& #101; as ahairenhacment! O, andthe"ancparty"ph otos
Of ors, o' orett readinaor's email!e yilldisove ho truydifficut ti o dcde wa td n t wends.. h aza arty? fsh arty? Go the allita ofyour fries?Hava&# 115;eperandca 08;l boyonte phne
Inotifyo 7;v' chked olaito 4;s ite, u do' now what you're misng
There's a petition. Hopefully it can get Lucas's attention.
End of lesson. You may press the button.
Your right, Episode I was a children's movie, and it was intended to be, I didn't like everhting Lucas did with it, but it served it's purpouse: it got a new generation fired up about Star Wars. Episode II is designed to be an action/adventure movie, and Episode III is high tragedy, Anikin becoming Vader. Star Wars has always been a family series, so it is reasonable for Episode I to have been a kids movie.
That being said this title sucks, and we do care because this movie is supposed to be aimed at a somewhat older crowd (everyone who wants to see the Jedi kicking ass). On the bright side, I was at a Star Wars seminar at GenCon, and they told us we could expect to see Yoda and Mace, along with the rest of the Jedi, truly demonstrating why they are Jedi Masters, i.e. kicking some major ass. So all is not lost, it can still be a good movie even if it has a crappy name, and with luck they'll change the name.
maybe alice cooper will replace jar jar in the next movie?
[yeah, and this monkey should have hit preview. Damn stupid defaults]
uh huh. Good troll in the first sentence there. I take my hat off to someone who can stereotype 99,999 people based solely on an ID number.
I love the binary distinction people like you are trying to make between "kids movies" and "adult movies". You really must sit down and draw me a picture sometime, I'm sure it'd be fascinating.
>Many "child movies" do attempt to explore
> great themes.
Right. Which makes them "child movies" which incororate elements designed to engage adults and children on different levels. You just blew away your own argument.
But then its fundamentally a troll:
>Face it, people always love what they grew
>up with as kids.
Classic tactics. If anyone attempts to disagree with you, you can just go "hah hah, look who never grew up and doesn't realise it. I'm the adult who knows exactly what an *adult* movie is." Yawn.
Move along please.
Lord Pixel - The cat who walks through walls
A little bigger on the inside than out
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What the hell kind of name is that?! This has to be a joke. CowboyNeal, say it isn't so! I can't handle this. I want an explanation.
He might as well have called it "A New Hope 2", starring Christopher Walken as Obi Wan, and featuring the cast of American Pie.
Someone needs to shoot George Lucas before he does anything else...But wait...Maybe he's already dead...MAYBE He REALLY died in the mid eighties, but he was CLONED!!!!Thats it! His clone is now wrecking havoc on the world, tricking them into watching hour upon hour of JarJars and annoying little Anakin Skywalkers!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!Meanwhile, George Lucas writhes in his grave, awaiting the day when he will rise again, to save the world from His evil Clone!!!!! Sounds like a good movie to me.
YUB YUB!
I led a suffocatingly sheltered life, and I didn't see Star Wars until I was ten thanks to my $#@!in' parents. I didn't have rosy glasses. I knew it was cheesy, and I loved it anyway. The components of it may be B-grade, but they're put together so damn well that most adults will
I ran out and saw Episode I in the theatres when it came out, too. Twice. I knew it was cheesy too, but again, I loved it. The story, all four (now five, I guess) parts of it, is still excellent, the dialog is well written and the characters are superbly developed (yeah, except for Jar-Jar, but didn't *your* parents roll their eyes over the inane beeping of R2-D2?).
I will go see Episode II when it comes out, even though I don't really like seeing movies in theatres anymore. I know it will be cheesy. I wish it wasn't so over-hyped, but that's more a result of *our* way of handling famous things than it is of Star Wars--Star Wars kicks ass, and it just happens to be famous because of it, so we treat it like our own media specimen-whore. It doesn't matter; I'm betting pretty hard that I'll love it anyway. It's Star Wars, man.
ST
First time I heard this mentioned I interpreted the title as ``Attack of The Clowns''. Needless to say, I was pretty much stunned by the choice of title. I figured that the episode would feature loads of evil annoying people with colorful splashes of paint in their faces (we all know clowns are evil, right) and decided to see what the Slashdot crowd would make of it. I must say I was a tad disappointed when I discovered that the whole story merely was about some meek clones.
And when you really think about it, you realize that "the Force" is a pretty dumb name too. but who cares? I saw the first three when I was in elementary school. I loved them. Saw TPM in high school, and I thought it wasn't very good. It had lost the seemingly "epic" proportions, a stuggle of good vs. evil to become a movie that has no inherent link to the rest of the series
My server
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In so, if o hven't chekd outvadior' site n ow hat you'ising!
I watched Eps 4, 5 & 6 and loved them. Then I watched Ep 1 too, and liked it a lot. Choke on that. People watch the movies to be entertained. Especially sci-fi. Some movies can be stereotype/non-original. Good always wins. Villains always die. You can take it at face value or start killing the secret agent as soon as you capture him, with a bullet through his head, no matter what he says. The point is, we went there to be entertained, so drop the whole idea about the plot/references. Go back a couple of decades in brain power. Gasp at all the Force stuff. Wow at the big Star Destroyers. Cheer when the Jedis start fighting. You find that most enjoyable. For those who must analyse every line to see what it actually references or how it is a variation of "cliche" lines, stop crowding the cinemas. Personally MY movie experience will be better without you. Anonymous Coward
The theme song for the film will be a remakes of Heart's "A Clone"
'Til now, I always got by on my clone
And now I want to be with you
How do I get you a clone?
A Clone
Ok, I feel better now.
I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
"losing", not "loosing".
But "Episode Two: The Clone Wars" scans quite nicely.
But why not something more general anyway: "Episode Two: Darkness Falls" (followed by Episode Three: Rise of the Empire).
"Attack of the Clones" just scans as a cheesey 50's monster movie, eithe Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, or Attack of the 50-foot woman, or something like that. It's just WRONG...
- Spryguy
There are three kinds of people in this world: those that can count and those that can't
And the last movie would be Episode III: Revenge of the Killer Clones.
Maybe they can cast a hot tomato in Episode III? :)
http://www.starwars.com/episode-ii/news/2001/08/ne ws20010806.html
Also we need to be politically correct. "Clone" is too derogatory. The preferred term is temporally disjointed identical twins. ;P
"And now you shall learn the secret of boot to the head"
Though I no longer have bibliographic information to back it up, when Newsweek featured an article about Episode I he mentioned that he no longer wants to continue the series after finishing the two remaining prequels. Of course, his mind my have changed by now...
I justLOVE lainator' site Especll he "fh" etin,where earnd cu bt& #32;of o ao st o s a h ehancment! Oh, ndt danc partpotos!
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In srifyou aven't ck ut vladiators st,youot know wa o're missing
I just LOVE vladinator's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read vladinator's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out vladinator's site, you don't know what you're missing!
...unless it has bad associations. Every time I head "Attack of the Clones", I think of "Killer Clowns from Outer Space." ;)
Ah well, Star Wars ran its course and is now on a gravy run. I'm looking forward to Lord of the Rings...
All about me
It was damn near impossible to find copies of the original trilogy that were not the "Special Editions" (why are they special? is it cause they ride the little yellow bus to school?) But I got my set piece-meal via presents and ebay. =) But I have the feeling the DVD version will be "Special Edition" only. :'-(
It's marketing fondue. It's evil, cheesy, it burns and yet it sticks to you, all the while reminding you of something that was thought cool in the 70's.
To me, the movies weren't about romance. First and foremost they were action movies...
I guess that when you take the movies as action movies and nothing more, the shallow characterization and the cliched dialog is nothing to complain about. But when lots of other people consider Star Wars a way of life, CaptainCarrot here got a pretty good point.
Bill Gates Has No Penis.
Come on, whatever far, far away galaxy you live in, you'll have to admit there is a massive contrast between "The Empire Strikes Back" and the by the book kiddy movies you're talking about.
Empire is dark! The rebels get their asses kicked repeatedly, Luke gets his hand cut off and discovers Vader is his father and Han gets frozen. SW was cheesy fun. ROTJ was an ewok merchandising exercise. Empire kicked ass.
+++++
The harder you look the less you see. That's what we're up against.
Well that's going to suck then. Please god, someone else take the helm! Unfortunately, corporations can't use the same rules that ships use, like relieving the captain of command when he goes stark raving mad.
I think "Star Wars 7: The Search for Plot" would be a start. To be followed by "Star Wars 8: I Can't Believe It's Not Bantha".
Grab.
> TPM was nothing but a marketing device aimed straight at children.
I misread that as "aimed at straight children".
The question that immediately came to mind was, what kind of children will AotC's marketing be aimed at?
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
And don't even get me started on the sound.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Dialog: It need not be about romance, but it would be nice if you could repeat any of the lines without wincing, or if there weren't so many situations where you knew what a character was going to say before he opened his mouth.
Acting: You're forgetting Christopher Lee. But you're also confusing star power with quality acting. A "star" might be a comptetent actor, but that need not be so if he or she has other appealing qualities. And there are plenty of extremely fine actors who will never be stars, relegated to "character" roles precisely because they're so good at portraying various types. I consider Mark Hamill the worst thing about Star Wars because, with the central role in the series, he had neither acting skill nor (ultimately) star quality. I remember when Hamill was the celebrity guest on the Muppet Show. He had absolutely no talent that could entertain in a variety show setting. They wound up making that the main point of most of the jokes in the episode. Hamill does a lot of voice work now, and that seems to be his niche. Luke Skywalker was more than he could handle.
I cut Lucas no slack for going where the money is. Surely he, if anyone, could afford art for art's sake. The movie was going to be hugely profitable with or without merchandizing. He might as well have made it a good one.
And the brethren went away edified.
nm
Same here. Cologne wars. Alec Guiness was British so I assumed he was talking about Germany...
Check out this article His comments: "a terrible, terrible title" and "nobody tells me anything relating to the Star Wars films." hmmm alnya
And those of us with IQ's over 140 will realize that the one's between 130 and 139 have become the sheep of the corporate empire, and become Socialists! Please, if you have an IQ over 140, join the Socialist part. please. The sheep have been fooled by the corporations for too long.
And the disadvantage of vaporizing people is, there are no remains to identify.
Has ANYONE even thought out what Cloning (as by that Doctor in Italy)
may actually lead to?
Concider- A married couple have a 'cloned' version of the wife as a
daughter! The child is a younger version of the mother, with none of
the father's genetic material.
What may happen? As the girl-child ages she becomes a 'younger'
replica of the wife, who has grown older! Are you following me?
Or - conversely - a married couple have a 'cloned' version of the husband
as a son! The child is a younger version of the father, with none of the mother's
genetic material.
As the boy-child ages he becomes a 'younger' replica of the husband,
who has grown older! The wife looks at her 'aged' husband - then at
the version of him that is youthful!!!!!
THE RESULT - do I really have to tell you?
Regards,
JK
(David Bowman, EVA near HUGE Monolithic Win-PC in orbit around Jupiter) "My God - its full of Malware!"
Hell yeah!
The symphony I'm in right now (Yale's, so it's not a "real" orchestra, but good anyway) did The Planets my freshman year. The director decided to do the whole projector thing. Almost ruined the experience for me. Like, shit, it's an allegory... astrology, not astronomy.
Quite a few people notice the similarity- sort of surprising. My mom heard Mars for the first time and immediately said "Wow, John Williams owes Holst quite a bit." It's not so much the tunes as the textures, and chord structures. A friend once pointed out that the chords in the prelude to the third act of Wagner's Parsifal are used in the Imperial March- which, I think, is still Williams' best work. Unfortunately, this familiarity really is at the expense of Holst- everyone loves The Planets, but I think few would consider it as a true masterpiece because it's so associated with movie music (not necessarily SW) and with hymns, if you're British. I think it's one of the greatest pieces of music of the century- up there with "Rite of Spring", "Elektra", Shostakovich's 7th Symphony and 8th string quartet, and others that I can't think of because it's 1am. God, I'm such a nerd.
Other music that comes to mind is R. Strauss, Bruckner, and especially Stravinsky. Listen to "Rite of Spring" and then listen to any of the Tatooine music in ep. IV. Shostakovich, perhaps. The problem is, when you've played a lot of big romantic and modern symphonic works (and I'm in the bassoon section, so I get the full power of the brass in my ear), every movie soundtrack sounds like an older orchestral piece. Or vice-versa.
Pardon me if I blather. I've been in front of a computer for 16 hours and it's nice to be a different kind of geek for a while.
-Nat
"There are NO adult themes or elements in ANY of the films, these are aimed at children"
Actually, SW:ANH is full of "adult themes." Have you seen "The Hidden Fortress" by Kurosawa? Have you read "The Hero With a Thousand Faces" by Campbell?
ANH is based on Kurosawa's film, and I would never say his movies are childish. Lucas incorporated Campbell's interperative mythology just about everywhere he could.
Granted, were not talking subtlety here. But the themes expoused by ANH and the other films are not subtle... boy against the universe, ultimate good against evil, the fall of the light. These are all themes that go back to ancient cultures.
Follow the money.
So did your Dad run around the house flying his B-wing and making laser noises? Did your Mom slide across the shag carpet exploding the landspeeder just as it hit the coffee table leg?
These movies were and are about merchandising. And you thought it was a reality-bending sci-fi series?
But, when I first saw E3: A New Hope it was called STAR WARS. No episode number, no subtitle, just STAR WARS. The silly names didn't show up until Empire.
You never really know how close to the edge you can go until you fall off.
Star Wars Two : Anakin Skywalker and the Planet of Doom
I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
Actually, ROTJ was directed by Richard Marquand. Kasdan was/is a producer.
Say it ain't so, George!
LOL Thank god someone has a sense of humour about this!
chewie's not in episode III. at least not yet.
for the record, Return of the Jedi is episode VI. Empire is V. and A New Hope is IV.
star wars was originally planned as a nine-movie trilogy of trilogies. the first trilogy is what is currently being released. the second trilogy was released first. and the third trilogy, Lucas has said he's not gonna make anymore.
my old sig used to be funny, but then slashcode ate it and now it's not funny anymore
and Lucas would hemorage even more money.
;->
Not to pick nits or anything but hemorage typically refers to a great loss of something, usually blood but also used to describe loosing money. Lucas will be gorging himself on cash if anything
"Listen: We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different!" - Kurt Vonnegut
Yeah, I saw Episode I twice just to make sure the first time wasn't some kind of nightmare. No luck - the nightmare was real. I had listened to the radio drama which my dad taped for me CONSTANTLY during all those years as I waited in vain for the next movie. And I've had people say to me,"well, its just that you saw the first one's when you were little, so that skews your memory, they're really kids movies anyway" BULL. the beauty of the originals is that they grew with me - what I liked as a kid was different from what I like now - my appreciation of the politics, the romance, etc. George Lucas can do what he bloody pleases, but he left too many hints as to his grand vision to muck it up so badly now.
I found Episode I to be more of a dud than an outright disaster (as has been often opined). I felt a little sick and a lot dissapointed after seeing it, but the fact that the Jedi then were so prevalent seemed a tacit promise to tell what happened to them before Ep V. I suppose the only thing I got from Ep I was a confirmed desire to see Ep II, which is, one assumes, Lucas' purpose.
Funny, I never thought of myself as a Star Wars geek..
--
Pay no attention to the errors in my post. I am the great and powerful Oz.
And come on.. who didn't enjoy The Guyver?
.. well.. ok.. but at least it's better than Rabid Grannies and Redneck Zombies... barely...
Star Wars II: Revenge of the Missing DVD Set
Regardless of hitting preview or not, I still can't understand a word you're saying.
He's probably an ignorant C/C++/Java/Perl
type. They think that their hacked together
language is somehow "better" than everything
else.
They also tend not to understand most Computer
Science topics; no big surprise.
Code hackers, plain and simple.
Clones (We're All) -Alice Cooper I'm a clone I know I'm fine I'm one of more on the way I'm two, doctor Three's on the line He'll take incubation another day I'm all alone, so are we all We're all clones All are one and one are all All are one and one are all Destroy the government We're destroying time No more problems on the way I'm through doctor We don't need your kind We are the ones Ugly ones Stupid boys Wrong ones I'm all alone, so are we all We're all clones All are one and one are all All are one and one are all Six is having problems Adjusting to his clone status Have to put him on a shelf All day long we hear him crying so loud I just wanna be myself I just wanna be myself I just wanna be myself Be myself Be myself I'm a clone I know I'm fine I'm one of more on the way I'm two, doctor Three's on the line He'll take incubation another day I'm all alone, so are we all We're all clones All are one and one are all All are one and one are all I'm all alone, so are we all We're all clones All are one and one are all All are one and one are all I'm all alone, so are we all We're all clones All are one and one are all All are one and one are all
Amazon clones on the moon...
Aliens? Magnetic Rings?! Bah! Who needs that when we have
YHBT!
No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?
If you create a franchise, and let it pretty much sit for 15-20 years, when you come back to it, should it still be considered a kid franchise? Your original audience has grown up, so should the franchise have grown up with them, or should it ignore it's previous fans and try a "fresh start".
I mean, if Episode 1 hadn't depended on the fact it was a Star Wars movie, the power behind the franchise, if they had just called it "Anakin's Adventure 1", would it have really done that well as a kid's movie?
I personally think the vast majority of people on here have no clue what they're saying when it comes to the movies. I don't have a problem falling back into the mindset of a four-year-old (when I first saw ANH in 1977) when I watch the movies. That allows me to remember that these movies are fantasies and are just a story being told by Lucas - and let's me look past the problems other people have. I also keep in mind that there has been only one (1) of the SW movies that can stand on its own - ANH. Lucas took ESB, ROTJ and TPM and made them rely on one another (we all know that TPM wouldn't work at all if we didn't have episodes IV - VI). Now, keeping that in mind, Lucas decides to create a new trilogy. The public complains that there is no real plot, no character development, that it's only crass commercialism and that Jar Jar sucks.
My response is this: maybe people are right - but you can't make that judgement until 2005, once III is out. Why? Because Lucas knows he has three parts to flesh out the story - very unlike the situation he found himself in with ANH, when it could have bombed (Kenner actually thought it would, but that the toys would take off ) - therefore he can take his time with development. Think of episodes I - III as one large, six-seven hour movie. We've only seen Act I, which begs the question: how much do you know about the characters in the first act of anything (unless it's a one-act play)? I don't see much character development in Act I of Hamlet, because Shakespeare knows there's five or so more acts to follow. This isn't to compare Lucas to Shakespeare, or Hamlet to Star Wars, but it is to say that one cannot judge a work until that work is complete.
Why do I think people judge TPM the way they do? Most people are disappointed because Lucas didn't do the story they've created in their own heads.
We all know what happens in these first three episodes. It's like going to see Titanic or Full Metal Jacket - we know the boat sinks, we know the US loses the war. In this case, we've all had 20+ years of coming up with our own ideas of what the backstory is that nothing could compare with what we've collectively created with our friends and schoolmates and, later, correspondents on the net - because we created it. Even Lucas can't live up to what we've dreamed up in those 20+ years.
In the end, ladies and gents, the new movies won't copy or live up to thre mystique of the first ones - ever - because we've lived through the first ones when they were new and wonderful and ours. Maybe for our future kids, maybe even for our current ones, will experience the same awe once all six episodes exist. Maybe not.
All I know is that this hobbit is going to sit down with his popcorn and Coke and enjoy AOTC - like I've enjoyed all the others - by watching it through the eyes of a four-year-old. No cheesy names or jaded geeks are going to change that. And then, in 2005 when I walk out of the theater from Episode III, I'll pass final judgment.
Just a reminder for all the Australian SW fans.
Tonight (Tuesday 7th 2001) is the night that the census is being held. There has been an email circulating regarding the religion entry. If anyone saw Going Home last night there were a couple of good reasons for listing your religion as "Jedi". I heard that if there is enough Jedi converts in the country then it becomes a recognized religion. Can anyone confirm this? The results will be interesting.
May the force be with you.
...you'll wish you were never born.
A story about romance. The tale of two clones on a sexual journey to Minsk. But things get a little "hairy" on the way when they have a strange "encounter" after they find themselves in the form of other clones. Pretty soon, all of the clones find themselves in front of a being of unlimited sexual powers, known only as, "the emperor". Needless to say, things get a little TIEd up from there. The opposers to the sex empire, composed mostly of clones, the abstendi, launch a last ditch effort to destroy the largest swingers club ever: the SexStar. The SexStar is capable of having sex with every living thing a planet all at the same time. Will sex be free for all? Or will the valiant abstendi prevail and sex banned forever? See "Episode II: Attack of the Clones" in theaters everywhere August 69th
Winter 2010: With Glowing Hearts
So, what might they change it do? "Attack of the Clowns"?
Have tyou read Revalations? :-)
Christianity is all about what a great thing it is to be dead (assuming you've sacrificed the right kinds of chickens).
So, I don't think Narnia its into the list of dissapointing extensions which was posted. Like it or not, the ending of the Narnia stories isn't an extension, I'm sure it was planned in right from the start.
BTW, The Screwtape Letters is a better read.
_O_
.|< The named which can be named is not the true named
Alright, Star Wars is a cheesy title, and maybe it's aimed at kids. When I first saw A New Hope, I was maybe six or seven, so for me it was both scary and exciting. Those feelings I got then, are the feelings that come in my mind when I hear "Star Wars". So when I see Star Wars now, I will always be dissapointed, why? Because nothing can compare to my amazment then. I just hope some of my kids will feel the same way as I did, when I first saw it. I had my doze of Star Wars twenty years ago, now it is theres turn to experience this great fantasy we call Star Wars. Nuff said
Star Wars : Clone Ranger
With Jar-Jar as Tonto???
I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
So would it be possible that these Wookies were independent contractors?
-- This and all my posts are in the public domain. I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer, and this is not legal advice.
shock value?
People will pass up steak once a week, for crap every day.
Peter Jackson! Ian McKellen! Christopher Lee! Hugo Weaving! Cate Blanchett! John Rhys-Davies! How could anyone not be waiting for this?
Assuming that Natalie Portman will be neither naked nor petrified, the only trump card that When Clones Attack has is Samuel L. Damn, they should have cast him in LotR, maybe as a badass orc or something. "Does Sauron look like a bitch?"
> Do you troll newsgroups and spout "Worst Episode Ever" alot?
Yes. And the Jedi pay me to do it; I make my living that way.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Hey I thought attack of the killer tomatoes was a very cool film... I wouldn't mess with those fruits :)
Or even us 13 year olds. But it wasn't just the kids who were taken in. Sober, serious, adult critics were almost uniform in their praise. Harlan Ellison's was the sole, lonely critical voice to be raised against it, and even in his case his point wasn't so much that it sucked, but just that it wasn't quite as good as everyone else was saying. I suspect that even Lucas was surprised at the critics' reaction, but he knew good luck when he saw it and ran with it. Can't blame him for that, but I can blame him for pretending to have made something profound.
And the brethren went away edified.
See Superman II and The Godfather, Part II
Both are considered better than the original...
Your reality is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever. - Baron Munchausen
Why? Sure, it would have been nice if he had. I wish he could have made it more of a well thought out series, but when you are spending hundreds of millions of dollars of the studio's money making a movie you had better make a profit if you expect to do it again. If he had made the series for grown-ups all he and the studio could really make the cut of the ticket sales. Even if it set a new world record and passed Titanic in sales, ticket sales alone would not even get close to the profits that the merchandising brings in.
Action Figures, Bed Sheets, Video Games, Pez Dispensers, and the list keeps going. One adult will buy a ticket and maybe the video or DVD when it comes out. $30. One child will have the ticket and video bought for him AND an army of action figures at several dollars a pop, the AT-AT's or Millenium Falcons that cost $50 or more, the posters, the bed sheets...we're easily talking 3 times the sales for the child when compaired to an adult.
Without that extra revenue, studios are reluctant to spend the money up front to make those grand special effects that we so love in our movies. So instead of a "B" movie with "A" special effects we would just have an "B" movie with cheezy effects, which will eventually end up on MST3K. That's not what we want either. It's a trade off. We want visually stunning movies, we have to bow to merchandising. Which means the plot and script has to be simple enough for a kid to follow and enjoy if you want to sell them T-shirts and action figures. *shrug* What can you do?
"Merchandising! Merchandising! Where the REAL money from the movie is made." - Yogert, Spaceballs
i would preffer " attack of helmut " even though it sounds porno
Agreed - I actually meant in real life. It would be nice to be able to live in a world where we didn't have to be analytical...
Just because you consider yourself to be a member of the S.W. cult, doesn't make you more qualified than Lucas to decide on a title. It's a movie - not an open source software project that is named through a democratic process.
Nevrar
"There was always his sister. And didn't Yoda have to be talked into training him? My point was really about how quickly Luke learned what he did (from ESB: "But I've learned so much!"), picking up in days or hours what was supposed to take years. If he was an extrordinary genius it's not remarked on except in a general way, and not by anyone who was actually teaching him."
step back, dude. step, fucking back.
Not to be personal or anything, I'm the same way, but there's a reason you hear the phrase "only you would be interested..."
It's a hard life, this nerdship.
"Worshipfulness". Gotta love it though.
LOL - StarWars II:Attack of the Fifty Foot Clone
Will it be shot in black and white with an orange filter over the "desert" bits?
Lucas! Nooooooooooooo
You spend all this time money and effort making the damm things - for fecks sake man - think of a better title. As the above post says - if its about the clone wars - er.. well hmm what springs to mind?
He directed 'The Empire Strikes Back'(a great film even if you hate Star Wars). He's a far better director than Lucas.
The Shoddy Acting hit an all-time high in TPM, from the opening scene where the Jedi's ship captain can't say her lines, to the trade federation lackey who made me laugh out loud at "they've gone up the ventilation shaft" or whatever he said, to the kid ("Are you an Angel?" is bad dialogue made unbearable by bad performance), even including the CG chars - why was Watto a mafia stereotype? Jar-Jar a Jamaican clown? Why oh why? People say it's a kid's movie, what do you expect? The thing is, it's barely on par with a children's TV show if you remove the special effects. Why would Star Wars, with a budget near infinity, hire some of the worst actors the film world has ever known? It's like Lucas was channeling Ed Wood or something.
What will the final three be called?
That does sound better, but as someone else pointed out, the title would then become:
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
That sounds dumb.
Higher Logics: where programming meets science.
The best thing about that line is that she suddenly acquires a British accent. Who the hell does she think she is, Madonna? :p
This sig is xenon coated, and will glow red when in the presence of aliens
What is this? Is that Jar Jar wearing a red shirt, and joining the away team?!?
Your reality is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever. - Baron Munchausen
... clone jar-jar
Slipping Away...
if the clones will all have Italian accents.
Donate background CPU time to fight cancer.
> How am I supposed to camp out for something with this lame of a title?!
I'll be extremely surprised if this really is the final title. It just doesn't have any "ring" to it. Expect it to morph into something like Attack of the $ADJECTIVE Clones, or maybe substitute some other noun for Attack. Or maybe throw this title out altogether; it is surely just a working title.
BTW, does anyone know what the working titles of the other episodes were?
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
There's nary an original feature in the entire movie.
And the brethren went away edified.
Go here and sign
http://www.petitiononline.com/aotc/petition.html
Star Wars: Clone Wars
yeah, that's a good title. Better than the "real" one at least, but still stupid
Episode II: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Force
To- Remo Williams: The Adventure Continues --- Remo Lives!
Star Wars : Clone Wookies from the Forbidden Zone?
I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
Or you could make the first three: The New Dork Buy More Toys JarJar's Trip to Town it started with the Ewoks. But they were isolated on one planet. It got worse with the insertion of extra stuff into the originals and the accompanying branded toys. JarJar was just too much for me and I won't even bother with the next movie. The next movie will be about clone wars. This is where kids will be encouraged to buy multiples of the same action figure so they can have full squads/platoons/armies. Then finally the last movie will be some utter piece of crap that everyone will have to go see just because it claims to be star wars. I refuse to recognize it as Star Wars (which IS the title of the first movie).
t
That has got to be the funniest Slashdot post EVER.
+4? Guess there are at least 3 * (inverse of percentage of users who get to mod * number of people reading this thread) simpsons diehards out there....
Except that the sources for stem cell research exist already, and we may as well try to get some potentially earthshaking research out of them rather than simply throwing them out.
If a tree falls on an anonymous coward yelling 'first post' in the forest, does anybody hear?
So does that mean that my Empire Strikes Back poster signed by Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, and George Lucas is worthless?
Episode II: You sucked 37 dicks??
Perhaps it should be titled "Oops, George Did it Again."
(To the tune of "Send In The Clowns")
I have a bad feelng about this...
Go back and watch the asteroid scenes in ESB. What was that? I'll tell you: it was every hackneyed car chase scene ever filmed, except this time with space ships. It didn't have to be deep, it just had to be incredibly cool. And it is.
Not to give anything away, but from what I've heard, we get to see Anakin learn the long-distance choke thing, which he spends the last fifteen minutes of the movie practising on Jar Jar...
--
THE GOOD HUMOR MAN CAN ONLY BE PUSHED SO FAR
Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 2F18
Dude! We've almost got the trolls under control! Don't mention Natalie Portman's sexuality!
grep -ri 'should work'
shazbot, my hair is on fire
I just LOVE vladinator's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read vladinator's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out vladinator's site, you don't know what you're missing!
Well, I've seen a pre screening of this movies trailer and all I can say is "Wow." Lucas' intellect is like a single, solitary star, twinkling into a howling universe of unending blackness and despair that is modern America. Bravo, Lucas!
I knew that the inclusion of Colt 45 megastar and part time ladies man Billy Dee Williams in episode 6 portended the inclusion of more adult themes, but who could've expected this?
Lucas is growing up, and America is growing up with him. Or rather I should say his kids, who wrote over 25 lines (90% of the script) to the screenplay to Episode 1, have written this one in it's entirety. Well, for the final judgement, wait for the movie, but as for me, it's obvious that making the same movie over and over since 1975 hasn't dulled Lucas' intellect one bit.
Some of my favorites from Enweirdment:
True, but Star Wars movies ARE '50s B-grade flicks, just with a 21st-century budget. Frankly, I'm relieved that Lucas seems to be reaching for the slam-bang-action feel of an "Attack of the..." movie than some kind political statement of "The Phantom Menace." At least we won't have to put up with tax federations, embargos, etc. That makes it feel less like a Star Wars movie and more like a high school social studies class.
I'm really dreading the day I'm torn between getting the "Special Edition DVD" or no DVD at all. I'm pretty sure you're right though.
You know, one of these days I'm going to have to steal my dad's original VHS trilogy...
i felt deeply menaced.. and violated in the most mentally anguishing way...
just what it looks like. big phallic objects.
How about "Return of the Jar-Jar"?
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Except that, popular perceptions aside, cloning someone isn't like running them through a copier. Identical genetic code does not necessarily create identical organisms. You can only be sure of certain vague traits, such as predisposition to catch/resist certain diseases. But there are no guarantees. It isn't that exact a science, and never will be, although perhaps one day cloning along with other yet-to-be-invented techniques will enable one to produce a Xerox Strike Force.
Well damnit, if murdering entire planetsfull of people, and enslaving an entire galaxy doesn't demand revenge, what does? Has everyone forgotten the outrage at ROTJ with the last-second "redemption" of this mass-murdering thug?
I am for the complete Trantorization of Earth.
I'll pass judgement after I see it.
This will be a first.
Like revenge of the jedi -> return of the jedi
omfg! 'a new hope' 'empire strikes back' and 'revenge of the jedi' are all dark and epic titles....
Lucas has lost it.
I was about to apply for a job at Lucasarts, now I just might be too embarrased!~
Or are the titles getting worse?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Omg, please tell me its a joke!
And now, a moment for America to shake its head and sob softly to itself... What the hell is wrong with the "clone wars"? Are the traditional starships we have grown accustomed to now to be replaced with flying saucers? When will George Lucas learn not to make important decisions when drunk?
-Ignatius Gunnarsson
bah just shoulda named it 'The Clone Wars' sounds exceptional stupid since the announcement of the human cloning came today...that's another story though...
...Millions of sheep named dolly attack tatooine. All is feared lost, until annakin decides to release his keeler blue heeler to save the day.
Send lawyers, guns, and money!
bring in, the clones!
I hope the movie gets good reviews from the critics. Otherwise, it may become known as:
they'll make it all the way to #9...
and maybe beyond
Attack of the clones? Sounds like the Clone Wars mentioned in New Hope, but I think this title can be improved a bit. Sounds too much like a 50's B-grade title - Attack of the
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke
I was hoping for "Jar Jar's fiery death" or something similar. "Attack of the Clones" only makes me fear the creation of an entire army of Jar Jars.
Dancin Santa
Can the clones run Linux?
The book wasn't based on clones, was it?
What kind of a name is that??? Sounds like some republican propoganda film.... or 50's sci fi flick..either way.....
FRIST PROST!
Yaknow, if they just call it "Send in the Clones" they can fire John Williams and use pre-existing music...
-l
but WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?! Attack of the clones? you got to be kidding me. Please god, let this be a fake title, and not the real one, like Blue Harvest. Has George gone of the deep end. Maybe, wait, I've got it... George has been cloned, and this is a way for his kind to get the recognision they deserve. Oh well, atleast we wont have an actor have his face placed on everything episode II related, and give him only 10 min. of screen time. Now it's going to be 1,000,000 actor(would that be an "s" at the end) with their face(once again, is it a multiple roll?) on everything II related.
**rant off, Sarcasim factory default**
Alas, poor clippy, I loath him so.
fp?
Looks like Brunching missed the ball on this one.
(I'm not a karma whore; i'm already at 50.)
P.S. I would have called it Send in the Clones
--
Mod up a post Rob doesn't like and you'll never mod again
this is an Nth post for arsixsixwy, because the fucking story didn't show up on the main page fast enough.
not a frost pist.
oh well.
jbridge21
Not that I'm ragging on the choice of topic here, but I'm genuinely curious: Do adults (>=16 yrs) really care about the Star Wars franchise? I would think that Star Wars as it has become wouldn't be of any more interest than Pokemon here.
Do people who enjoyed George Lucas' original trilogy (well, minus the last half of RotJ) really care about the George Lucas' current focus on ten-year-olds?
Why are you letting these clowns ruin our country?
The clone wars are fought by thousands upon thousands of copies of Jar Jar. *shiver*
StrategyTalk.com, PC Game Forums
I have a feeling this is some kind of cross-promotion with Fox's reality television.
Can what is formed say to that who formed it, "Why have you made me thus?"
Hmm... does this have any relevance to any politcally touchy biomedical ethics debates we've been seeing recently?
And I love how amidala didn't manage to age in ten years.
Further proof that lucas is now a total and complete sell out, and the Grand Admiral of Insulters of Intelligence.
At least we'll have some authoritative info on what, exactly, the Clone Wars were. This one has been bugging me for a long time.
I think there is a world market for maybe five personal web logs.
We are all going to plunk down the money to go and see it. We even know that Jar Jar will be in it, for chrissakes!
Dancin Santa
...that when this marketing-ploy-disguised-as-a-movie is revealed to suck, it will forever be remembered as Episode II: Send In The Clones??
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
[Camera pans into death star and a flight of x-wing fighters led by Britney Spears and Christine Aguilera skillfully evade the converging tie-fighters]
Star Wars Episode II : When Clones Go Bad
but Blue Harvest was already used....
These things have been getting progressively worse it seems. Ewoks, Jar Jar Binks, and now "Attack of the Clones"? Part of me thinks that Lucas has a bet with another Hollywood Millionaire that says "I can put out any crap I want, and I'll outsell any film you put out, as long as I put "Star Wars" in the title.
"Attack of the Clones." That's horrible. If it was anything else, people would never consider watching it while sober.
I've got a better idea. Why don't we have a discussion here on Slashdot where you throw up potential other titles, and hopefully Lucas will change it before the film is released.
Most importantly is that we all have to remember that the new movies will never live up to our ideas of the old movies. Most of us were 10 or under when we first saw and we didn't question the motivations in the movies or their titles. I'm sure that most kids are going to take "Attack of the Clones" in stride and not question it...
In one regard, I wish I could still think like that, and not have the need to think like an adult. The price we pay for growing up, I guess.
Now, after typing about this, I'm really starting to like the name...guess we'll just have to wait till May...
Killer Clones From Outer Space
Try to distance yourself from nostalgia and objectively look at the other titles in the Star Wars series. Are they really that much worse than "Attack of the Clones"? "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi" sound just as much like crappy B-movies; the new title is on par with the rest of the series. Star Wars was always meant to be in the style of Saturday afternoon serials anyway.
Honestly, has Lucas ever had an original idea? I mean Star Wars was "inspired" (AKA stolen) from a Kurasawa movie if I recall.
Lucas is a hack. JMS is God.
Come on, be optimistic, I think it will be out at least a week before it actually hits theatrs.
This Wiki Feeds You TV and Anime - vidwiki.org
How many freaking "Send in the Clones" jokes do I have to read? IT'S BEEN DONE! READ THE THREAD BEFORE YOU POST! Gaaack!
Of course, someone else has probably already posted this sentiment by now...
ok...ok, Lucus has long been known for his disinformation when it comes to SW. so this can't be the real title, it isn't a literaraly good choice, and he seems so into this seeming like a real story. naw "attck of the clones" is just to cheesy for me to belive it is realy real.....I Hope :-(.
I am the Alpha and the Omega-3
Has anyone ever seen a Sci-Fi movie about cloning that did not portray them as evil or used for evil purposes? How much do you want to bet the clones in this movie are absolute evil and are fighting versus a cast of lovable, fluffy, obnoxious absolute good characters. Of course the bet is moot since I for one will not be watching this tripe nor giving Lucas one more cent.
The slashdot article from 1997 reacting to "The Phantom Menace" http://slashdot.org/articles/98/09/27/127231.shtml
Too bad /. wasn't around in 1979 or 1982, we would have flipped over Ep V and Ep VI too.
Can what is formed say to that who formed it, "Why have you made me thus?"
-1 Preemptively Redundant
Lucas is a talentless jackoff who shot his load back in '77 and has desperately been trying to get it back ever since.
Just because someone see's Lucas for what he really is they get modded down. This is exact reason that, today, I unticked the "Willing to moderate" box as I didn't like the company I had to keep.
Well, just remember... you can never go home again...
The high will never be as good as the first time, no matter how much you do...
and it'll never be 1977 again, with your easily impressioned pre-teen brain being permanently changed by every laser blast... feeling pure joy at every slash of a light saber...
It's for your kids. Stop complaining and let them enjoy it.
SEND IN THE MUTHAFUCKIN CLONES!!! BWAGhAHAHAHGgahhahAHahahahAHAhahahAHahahAHahah... Jesus Christ, I am one mutha fuckin genius for thinking of that one.
I said it when everyone whined about how 'childish' "The Phantom Menace" was, and I'll say it again: The target audience for these movies is 10-year-old boys.
The problem here is, everyone (of my generation, anyways) remembers STAR WARS as this wonderful, epic, life-changing movie. It was *the* coolest thing ever. The thing is... at the time we saw it... we were 10 years old.
Over the years we've romanticized it in our minds, and looked back with fond memories of what a wonderful movie it was. At the same time, we've been growing older, more sophisticated (more boring?) and more discriminating in our... cinematic preferences.
So the new STAR WARS movies come out, and we're all expecting some wonderful, deep, meaningful epic saga... but guess what? All we get is cool monsters, lightsabres, blasters, spaceships and a cute little "good guys wear white, bad guys wear black" plot. And you know what? The 10-year-old boys loved it.
Regress to your childhood and you'll enjoy Phantom Menace a lot more (and understand why "Attack of the Clones" is a perfectly acceptable title).
You know once upon a time, I had a childhood which was filled with wonderous dreams about lightsabers, X-wing fighters, and the force. George Lucas has taken what was probably the finest movie series ever made and turned it into a his own recreation. By using us for his feeble experiments with digital creations he is taking a sacred cow and serving it up as hotdogs. Star Wars movies actually meant something. They had what life really lacked, it reached out to a spiritualism that's inherant in people that modern religion is just too outdated to touch. It promoted great values such as wisdom and discipline. First Jar, Jar flippin' Binks and his Sushi insult to the Japanese people, and now his rip off of Steven Soundheim. I figure Star Wars fans have given the equivalent of the GDP of a medium sized country to George Lucas, doesn't he owe us something? Why is he destroying our memories??
Send in the clones, don't bother, I'm not watching.
Lucas will be sued by God with penalties of 10 years in jail, a $5,000,000 fine or both. However a plea bargain may be possible if Lucas agrees to please kill off Jar Jar.
Haven't you heard?
All the world loves a clone!
(You may now throw things in my genreal direction.)
The Phantom Menace
Attack of the Clones
???
A New Hope
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
They're all silly unless you've been conditioned as a child to think they're all amazingly cool. Fortunately, I have. :-)
sig fault
Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.
--
Ten years after the events of The Phantom Menace, not only has the galaxy undergone significant change, but so have our familiar heroes Obi-Wan McDonald, Padmé Amiclownia and Anakin [Bobo] Skywalker as they are thrown together again for the first time since the Clown Federation invasion of Naboo. Anakin has grown into the accomplished Clown apprentice of Obi-Wan, who himself has transitioned from student to Clown Master. The two Clowns are assigned to protect Padmé whose life is threatened by a faction of political separatists. As relationships form and powerful forces collide, these heroes face choices that will impact not only their own fates, but the destiny of the Republic.
--
Mesa be likin the new Star Wars maxi-big-title! Mesa warrior! Mesa got a grand army! Mesa fight the killer clones! Mesa be lovin Georgie! mesa and Georgie bein friends!
What if he's threatening to clone Jar-Jar ?!
Me: I'm going to see Attack of the Clones Average Consumer: Is that scary? I don't really like Wes Craven or John Carpenter. Me: No it's a Star Wars movie. Average Consumer: You mean Return of the Jedi? Me: No... attack of the clones. Average Consumer: Attack of the what??
so who really cares?
suck.
All that begins in anger ends in shame.- Ben Franklin
"The Clone Wars" hell I think that sounds better "When clones Attack" all well
They can call it whatever they want, as long as Jar-Jar's role in this movie is as "expendable crewmember."
My deviantArt site
- It [using chapter titles] harkens back to the sense of pure fun, imagination and excitement that characterized the classic movie serials and pulp space fantasy adventures that inspired the Star Wars saga.
Gag me. Worse than merely being cheesy, it's an evil blend of marketing and cheese.I read StarWars when I was in the sixth grade (after I saw the movie 11 times the summer it came out). I remember the book talking about the Clone Wars in which the Jedi Knights obliterated. But then the fall came when the dark side took control. My memory may have faded abit but weave this within the love story of Anikan and the Queen and it should be great.
Brian L. Simonin Email: brian.simonin@gmail.com Website: https://www.google.com/profiles/brian.simonin
And in further news, Episode III will be named, "I Wipe my Ass With Your Money", and will consist entirely of 15 minutes of Hayden Christensen putting on the Darth Vader outfit, saying "This is heavy," and "Okay, I'm ready to be Evil now."
The original clone. Dolly the sheep.
"as plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee" - Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz. (One man's humorous is another mans flamebait)
"Star Wars" was MY childhood. My middle-school friends and I argued endlessly about "Empire." Vader, Luke's father? No way. Who was this Boba Fett anyway? Why was he masked the entire film. Somethin's gotta be goin' on there.
WE WAITED MORE THAN A DECADE FOR EPISODE 1! I grew up, I became an OLD MAN waiting for that bloody movie. When I heard it was coming, it was like the Return of Gandalf. The World would be OK. I dragged my wife to the theater, promising her it would be great, this would be epic, Strap In and Enjoy the Ride.
Ten minutes in, I wanted to shoot myself. Twenty minutes in, and my wife was openly wondering if this constituted the sort of spousal abuse that would get her more than 50% in the divorce.
To give you a contemporary example, I want you to go to your child and explain that in the next book, which we're all waiting for like it was Christmas, in the next book, Dumbledore turns out to be a child molester.
Watch the look on the face of your little Harry-or-Hermione-wannabe.
THAT's exactly how episode one made me feel.
He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."
By poisiong the debate with such senseless propaganda as "Attack of the Clones" he does injury not only to an honorable public servant with only the public's best interests in mind, but he also places in jeopardy the lives of people needing a cure. To eliminate the hope of these people is a crime against humanity.
For shame Lucas! For shame!
Oh, this is just horrific. First Lucas ruins Star Wars with the 'Greedo Shot' in the Special Edition, then he abuses us with Watto and Jar Jar, and now this crap.
How am I supposed to camp out for something with this lame of a title?!
What's next? "I Was A Teenage Jedi"?
I guess it is time to change to Lord of the Rings...
Am I the only one who was looking for link to an official star wars site, or any other confirmation than random slashdotter submissions?
... that it'll probably suck less than the movie itself.
Read more Herbert - he was one of the most important minds in fiction all last century.
Parenthetically, Herbert followed this 20 years later with a trilogy: The Jesus Incident, The Lazarus Effect, and The Ascension Factor. It's really some of his best work, aside from the Dune books. Sadly, he died before he finished the last one, and his co-author for the series (Bill Ransom) finished it. Bill Ransom's a decent poet, but a lousy novelist, and The Ascension Factor was pretty weak. The first two are great though, and spend more time with the clone issue.
This isn't as much "normalization" as it is "don't take so many drugs when you're designing tables."
see http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=01/08/07/01272 06&cid=35
That sounds like something that Joel and the Bots would watch.
The first headlines of the clone wars are already in the news: Italy announces plans to clone hundreds.
Several iterations later: "US Nukes Italy: 'We did it for the children,' says righteous Bush, sipping a Margarita on day 1194 of his 'Permanent Vacation.'"
This isn't as much "normalization" as it is "don't take so many drugs when you're designing tables."
yrs,
Ephemeriis
"Work is the curse of the drinking classes." -Oscar Wilde
That title sucks. It should be "Star Wars: Episode II - The Clone Wars". Or something like that.
Anakin: Quick, send in the clones
Obi-Wan: Don't bother, they're here
Lucas: Isn't it rich, isn't it queer, Losing my timing so late in my career
SW Fans: There ought to be clones
Lucas and Fox Studios:: Well maybe next year
----- One piece short of Legoland
The script I've been reading.. there are no clones in the second movie. THey don't come about until the 3rd.. I must be missing something...
-Restil
Play with my webcams and lights here
The first Rated R installment of the Star Wars series. Jar Jar is your video host for Spring Break on Tatooine. It's amazing what good Clones will do for the camera!
What's this "Star Worlds" thing everyone keeps talking about?
All Your Clones are Belong to Us.
We've secretly replaced George Lucas with Ed Wood. Let's see if anyone notices.
all the posts - not one mention of Natalie Portman
..that Empire the only really good Star Wars movie was the only one not directed by Lucas.
With this it is official, Lucas does indeed want this series to indeed be a fantastical world of wonder for ages 3-11(tm). I'm sorry, but that is the lamest title I have ever heard for a movie. Even Battlefield Earth, the worst sci-fi movie ever at least had a cool name. Name one sci-fi movie with a title like that that has suceeded. Lucasfilm has officially done it. I can tolerate Jar Jar, I can even put up with that whole Metachlorian bullshit, but when you name a movie Attack of the Clones... I absolutley refuse to watch this movie on the basis of that title, and I suggest you people follow. If this movie was meant for 11 year-olds, let them line Lucas' pockets
_____________________________________
The sun beams down on a brand new day, No more welfare tax to pay, Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light...
I, for one, can't wait to hear John Williams rendition of the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes theme.
Attack.....of the Killer Clo-oh-nes!
Attack.....of the Killer Clo-oh-nes!
They'll poke you, prod you,
Kill you, grill you,
Smash you up for Darth!
Then use what's left,
To paint their hearth!
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
"Night of the Living Clones"
"Clones in Spaaaaaace"
"The Clone Ranger Rides Again"
"Hey Buddy, can you clone me a dime?"
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Anakin looks up to see Queen Amidala and Obi-Wan dressed like clones, holding miniature billboards advertising the clone college and dancing to clone music. "Amidala...?" asks Anakin slowly. "Yes, Anakin?" answers the clone Amidala, starting to hum clone music.
Anakin: That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clone college! [leaves]
Obi-Wan: I don't think any of us expected him to say that.
Why doesn't he just finish off his fan base by throwing a "killer" into the title?
"The Phantom Menace" "The Attack of the Clones" "My Wookie and Me" "A New Hope" "The Empire Strikes Back" "Return of the Jedi"
http://scifi.ign.com/feature/7298.html
/. has an attack of the redundant post
Looks like
The Phantom Menace
The Rise of the Empire
The Fall of the Jedi
Dolly the Jedi Slayer
what do you think IS under those stormtrooper helmets?
it's going to be just as bad as episode I or twice as bad? ;-)
There were probably greater Star Wars fans than I, I never got dressed up or anything. But it came at a time in my childhood where I couldn't help but love it. What was different about Star Wars from so many other artifacts of my youth, is that my appreciation of it, most significantly The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars, grew. How rare it must be for something from ones youth to retain its luster upon further examination. Certainly Buck Rogers, and Battlestar Galactica, while they evoke a certain feeling of nostalgia, don't have the same staying power. Maybe looney toons, MASH, and Robotech have a similar quality, but I doubt anything had the impact Star Wars and its successors had. An amazing feat, truly remarkable, even incredible.
Which makes George Lucas' attempts to destroy and remove and in everyway obliterate all that was good and true so disturbing. Sure they're his creations, and he should be free to destroy them in anyway he sees fit, and even profit from it. But I'm not paying him or anyone anything to be insulted and assaulted by the insipid movies he feels compelled to make. For me the Star Wars saga will always be Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and sometimes Return of the Jedi. Everything else, including the rereleases, is just the evidence of a man trying to recapture the past glory of his greatest triumph. So the torch is passed to other series, perhaps The Matrix, or Lord of the Ring.
--Jimmy has fancy plans; and pants to match.
Would that be the Force vs. OpenForce?
Storm troopers speak English too well to be clones of Jar Jar. You'd think that even if they weren't raised in their own culture, they'd still retain the lisp.
There's another thing I can hate about the movie. I hate Jar Jar and I hate Lisp.
seeequels!! Soylent Green is made out of Seeeeeeequels!!!!
-- Stamp out entropy. ->dryguy@bellsloth.net
...the problem with your line of thought is that the clone wars has been in planning since at least the first movie.
Vermifax
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Personally I see this as being a great title and the plot would go down as follows:
Anakin falls in love with the Space Queen. She disses him because he is desert ratboy. So what if he has Jedi powers that wont satisfy her, she's gonna have a crush on Obi. Anikan gets all pissed off and holds a grudge against Obi and thats why he kills him in the original trilogy. Anakin flips out and steals Amildala's blood and hair and clones her. Mates with the clone or inserts his own DNA and makes the twins.
Sorry to have to spoil the next two films for you.
//----(triple c)-------//
Heh, this is exactly what I felt at the time. Cinemas in my city generally suck, so I've organized a trip for some 15 Star Wars addicts + 5 not-so-addicts to the closest city with multiplex, THX sound etc (3h by car) to fully enjoy something we were expecting to be a movie of the decade.
10 minutes into the movie I was sitting in disbelief, waiting for something to change. Half an hour later I was starting to worry about my safety. Since then, I've only waited for the end. And when it finally came, all my friends were just sitting there, speechless in disgust. Oh my, how stupid I felt.
Fortunately, we discovered that "The Matrix" was about to start on another screen and Neo saved the day (and my skin).
"Man in the Moon and other weird things" - wfmh.org.pl/thorgal/Moon/
The books are, in fact, considered cannon. As such, perhaps after he croaks, we'll see something made from them. Not before however, if we are to believe what Lucas himself reportedly said during the making of Ep I, which was that he was stoping at 6 since he didn't want to do Star Wars for the rest of his life. He decided to make it a story about Vader from the time he was a boy until his death. Shrug They've all sucked ass after the second one, which is the only sequel ever to be as good and better than the first movie.
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Jed Babbin
from the its-not-that-good dept And hamster havoc was a masterpiece?
Its a spoof. Right. Gotta be. Cmdr Taco thinks its April 1.
What if its true ? Crap. Glad I didn't name it.
Bitter and proud of it.
Episode II
10 years after the Trade Federation invasion of Naboo, not only has the galaxy undergone significant change, but so have our familiar heroes Obi-WanKenobi, Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker as the [-cut-off-] thrown together again for the first...
And that's all it shows, but it's continued on this page
And as you may have noticed, Jar Jar was not mentioned...please let him not be in this movie!
And hamster havoc was a masterpiece? hmmm
...how many times I laughed, thinking this was a joke. What the fcuk is this name? What the fcuk have I been waiting for since I WAS TWELVE?!?
:)
Embarrassed? Shit, guys...I'm downright offended. I live in Marin and tonight I'm going for a bit of a drive over to the 'Ranch to tell George to shove this title back up his ass where it came from.
I cannot believe its this bad. I also cannot believe I'm 32 and care this much
---- Please be nice in case my Slashdot karma ~= my real life karma.
Collect them all!
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
The problem is most of the people bitching, IMO, were children when they saw the movie. They saw with a child's eyes and a child's viewpoint on life. The people complaining have lost the ability to view the series through that childish viewpoint and have attached a sense of reverance towards it that will certainly get me modded down for saying this.
I think that the people who retain the ability (or a part of it) to view things as a child are probably the ones who loved ST:TPM as I did and yes, they will even like Jar Jar.
Vermifax
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Everybody loves a clone, so why don't you?
...is that George Lucas isn't fit to direct or be otherwise associated with any Star Wars film. Of the four that have been released, which one would most fans say had the best script, the best directing, the best overall tone, and the best all around story-telling? The Empire Strikes Back. Coincidentally, this is the film that Lucas had the least involvement with.
Who else was disappointed by the last two films, ROTJ and TPM? Hands up, I know you were. Ewoks? Jar Jar? With the three prequels ROTJ just doesn't hold up as the finisher. It took the novels (i.e., Zahn), to to that. Fire Lucas and put some Sci-Fi folks in charge, someone who hasn't tackled Star Wars. I fear George simply doesn't have it.
No statement is true, not even this one.
Isn't there supposed to be a link to a source, so that we can verify this is actually true? I mean, I wouldnt put it past Lucas, but still.. some proof please.
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Sounds like the Fox people have gotten to Lucas:
Star Wars Episode II: When Clones Attack!!!
As if episode one wasn't ample evidence of the Big Guy's increasing inability to write a decent script, this title should leave no doubt.
---If you can't trust a nerd, who can you trust?
Alas, I doubt he has the creative imagination left to think up something so grand, so I guess he's just totally lost his marbles.
Oh well.
> what do you think IS under those stormtrooper helmets?
Daleks!
The title of a movie starring Jim Rome (radio, Fox Sports). OK, clones.... what's your take?
The front-page cnn.com story raises the possibility of real human clones in the near future. I think Lucas is teaming up with these guys for a new reality TV show, based on human clones taking over the galaxy. Of course, only one clone can become the Emperor - the others having been voted off in a battle of intrigue and deceit. This is just another cheap marketing gimmick, like Taco Bell in Demolition Man but bigger. Really, though - if you've ever seen an interview with Lucas, it's clear that the guy is a dolt. I loved them as a kid, but even the original 3 movies now seem simplistic good vs. evil fare.
n filming ROTJ, lucas leaked "Revenge of the Jedi" as the title to throw off merchandise counterfeiters. Whne I heard that the title of Episode I was going to be "Phantom Menace" I blew it off as another ploy because it was, quite possibly, the worst title ever. To my shock it wasn't.
I can only hope that this isnt the final title of this film. Lucas & Co, Please work on these titles (as well as the movies themselves).
P.S. make the movies better too. Youre dissapointing a whole generation of fans.
Star Wars: Dude, Where's My Clone?
Attack of the 60-Foot Centerfold 1995
National Lampoon's Attack of the 5'2" Women 1994
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes 1978
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman 1958
Attack of the Crab Monsters 1957
Attack of the Giant Leeches 1959
Attack of the Mayan Mummy 1963
Attack of the Mushroom People 1963
Attack of the Puppet People 1958
Attack of the Robots 1962
Attack on the Iron Coast 1968
What will Star Wars III be called?!?
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When I first read about the name, I actually groaned. This is would be like "Jurassic Park 4: Attack of the Rapors". However none of the move titles are that good if you think about it, A new hope, Empire Strikes back, Return of the Jedi, would sound just as corny if we heard them for the first time today.
What have you got against Lisp?
___
The ends are ape-chosen, only the means are man's. -- Aldous Huxley
Recap:
3PO: anthropomorphic robot, comical
Chewbacca: unintelligible, cool alien, badass cool character
Jar Jar: unintelligible, annoying as shit
This may seem like a flame--and it probably is, but why the reluctance to post this news bit?
"was among the onslaught of readers who submitted"
I know I submitted it nine hours ago, and it was almost immediately rejected. I figured someone else had already submitted it and that it would be up on the Frontpage almost immediately. Yet, hours go by, and still no news.
If anything would qualify as "news for nerds"--I figure this would. Why the delay?
-Julius X
remove "-whatkindofspamdoyoutakemefor-" from email to send
Epsiode one was nothing but heart break. It promises to get worse. I'm hoping that The Matrix trilogy will be as facinating as the original Star Wars trilogy was. (Although, Swordfish was a bad sign.)
Lucas could try to remake the Star Wars Christmas Special and toss wookies into the fray. :)
stress test http://bubba.kuro5hin.org !!!
Because I sure haven't seen any confirming links..
Reality is indistinguishable from any sufficiently advanced fantasy.
When I heard this title "Gawd, he musta been playing WAY too much Paranoia!". Oh wait! I get it...Star Wars 2, WILL be about Paranoia, with a Dark Jedi Sith Computer, on a nasty space station where everyone has five clones before they die... OK, Timmy, time to take that 60-lb pill...rectally! Seriously...I knew the clone wars were gonna show up, but I expected it in Ep. 3! Now, "Clone Wars" woulda been a better by-line! Ice.
..the future is now. And it sucks.
What if Episode I and II are worse than the originals because Lucas is no longer working on them? What if it is a clone of Lucas?
Yeah, it'll be about the private-owned science labs cloning people, then Dubya Bush sending in his riteous gang of conservatives to stop them. He'll have a red light saber like the one they used to cut off his skin lesions... George Lucas just isn't trying any more... Apparently Jar Jar influenced his decision.
I think they are getting serious about redundant posts. This is the error I get: /. was storing articles for that long. They must have a machine that has the date wrong and has already hit the 1.0e9 seconnd since the epoch.
Easy does it! This comment has been submitted already, 276987 hours , 8 minutes ago. No need to try again.
By my reckoning, this is ~31 years ago. I had no idea
Enigma
See the subject ;)
Reality is indistinguishable from any sufficiently advanced fantasy.
What about : Star Wars : attack of the teenage mutant clone turtles
I'll be happy if Samuel Jackson gets in a light sabre battle with Samuel Jackson. Either that, or if Yoda whoops ass on a Yoda clone. If either of those things happen, I'll be content.
Star Wars(tm) 2 - "We are going to hipe up the media a whole bunch, make a lot of money, and disappoint many fans"
Sorry, that was Terminator 3 ...
until (succeed) try { again(); }
People who assume clones will be considered less than human are assuming turn of the (20th)century attitudes are more prevailant than they currently are. They're predicting our past, not our future. (Don't tell me that those who don't remember the past are doomed to repeat it, that cliche doesn't mean that everything that happened once will happen again.) With possible Trilateral Commision maneuverings aside, the historical trend has always been that generally people don't lose rights, they gain them. (The exceptions are when the rights of one group [and I do mean rights, not privilages] conflict with the rights of another group. You could say that Roe v. Wade made fetuses lose rights, but you could also argue that it allowed women to gain them.)
So if clones are already starting off being considered humans at this early stage of things, they probably won't ever fall into the inhuman category. That short circuits most clone wars scenarios right there. I would guess that most of those stories were written as a response to fears of racial wars (which were not so long ago considered a real threat)and not intended to be true predictions of the future.
Check out the results from this poll over on CNN. Yep, even non geeks think it sucks ass, but about 2/3rds.
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Jed Babbin
as Ridley Scott's "Blade Runner" is the defining "clones" (replicants) film, and it was both film noir and serious, with tech taken for granted. Lucas will have a hard time surpassing it with any space opera or FX tricks. And his film will be measured against it, and likely found very wanting. At the very best, he might get parity, but I don't think he's that good. He does fairy tales set in the far future with whizbang high tech. Even he know's he's not a serious auteur - his films are just so many not-so-cheap cheezy circuses.
I mean, I read the story on CNN today: here
And I thought Lucas was on the cutting edge. He's just talking about today's news. Not to mention my opinon of Slashdot. At least you could reference a more respectable institution, like CNN instead of George Lucas. At least CNN doesn't do reports by Jar Jar.
Heh, I played it smart. I waited for my friends to go first. As a result of their reports, I didn't even bother to see the movie until a couple of months ago ($1.99 rental). I watched it late at night after my wife went to bed.
The next morning, I fast-forwarded to show her the stupidest parts and we shared a laugh.
Weird Al is going to have a ball with this one.
Why is it so hot? Where am I going? What am I doing in this handbasket?
Man you put it exactly, I have been trying to explain this to people ever since Episode 1 came out how Jerry Lewis has no business being in Star Wars. It's bad enought that coporate americuh has destroyed almost every song or show from my childhood. Now it is being done by the origonal creator.
At least we'll have stormtroopers. :P to all those people who said I was full of @#%$ back in the early 90s when I said those troopers were cloned.
"Attack of the Clones" is probably meant to mislead merchandise counterfeiters, as "Revenge of the Jedi" (remember that one?) was before they changed it at the last minute to "Return of the Jedi". This way, all the fake merchandise will be easily recognizable because it'll have the wrong name.
My $.02.
http://www.uberu.com/rumors/starwars_episode_2_nam e.html
so are we to believe that the new Star Wars movie will be subliminally trying to convince us that cloning humans is bad? if so, this is one movie i'm going to avoid! =D
I think, therefore, I'm smarter than our president.
Sounds like a Paranoia module.
I'm sure I'll find myself in the minority (it's OK, I'm used to that: I'm a leftist in Colorado). I thought that, Jar-Jar aside, Episode one was quite good. I saw the original when it came out many many many times in the theater, I was in the target audience for all the toys for Star Wars/Empire/Jedi. In spite of all that, I thought Episode one stood well as a prequel.
this is getting old and so are you
blog
It had to be done by someone...
Natalie Portman stars in "Attack of the Hot Grits"
(Rated R for nudity)
Star Wars: Episode II: The Clone Wars ??!
My bet is that they try to make an entire TdF team of Marco Patanis or mix 'n match with Mario Cippolinis (good sprinters, but tend to drop out too soon.)
Anyway, the Clone Wars will begin with a sereptitious scratching of Lance Armstrong by a mysterious french agent who will then attempt to build a team of TdF riders of their own. After that it's just a matter of time before Italy launches an attack on L'Alpe d'Huez, claiming some old boundary from Roman times and there you have it, Clones, War and a Star cyclists! (Yeah, I'm going though some serious TdF withdrawl here...)
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
You got the wrong half of RotJ. It was the first half with those stupid Ewoks that sucked. The space battle and the lightsaber duel were awesome.
If we left it up to Western European tech, we'd still be watching Dr. Who special effects. Suck my dick you socialists punks. American owns this planet!
Lucas was a devotee of Joseph Campbell, the late comparative mythologist, and he used Campbell's work as a paint-by-number set for generating the plot of the first movie, by his own admission even if not in so many words. (By "first movie" I mean the first one that was actually made, now called Episode 4 but originally called just "Star Wars".) It's filled with motifs we expect to see in great stories, so our minds naturally associate it with being a great story. Aided by the admittedly competent cinematography, we are presented with the semblence or illusion of a good movie. This blinds us to the plot holes, the shallow characterization, the cliched dialog, and the shoddy acting that it typical of the series.
Plot Holes: Try, for example, to reconcile the timeline of ANH with what is now known to be required for even the beginning of Jedi training. Luke can't have had time to learn much on Tattooine, and he only has the time during the trip to Aldaraan for serious instruction. How long does this take? There's nothing in the movie to suggest that more than a day or two passes in transit, possibly less. And Luke's starting out as a teenager, when even Anakin at 8 (or is it 10? I forget) is thought by Yoda to be too old to begin.
Shallow Characterization: All the characters are very close to their archetypes. There are many assumptions we therefore automatically make about them, and Lucas doesn't have to do very much work at all to make them "pass" for deep ones. And he doesn't.
Cliched Dialog:"I can't believe he's gone." (Luke about Obi-Wan. He'd known him, what, a week or less?) "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid." (Han about the Jedi. Substitute the appropriate weaponry and it could have come from a spaghetti western.) "The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." (Leia to Tarkin. How many times has the plucky revolutionary said something similar to the dictator in numerous other settings?) Et cetera.
Shoddy acting: Alec Guinness' opinions on this are well known, but even so he and the other few competent actors deliver even the most hideously bad lines in a credible manner. Unfortunately, they don't have enough screen time to make much of a difference. Seen Mark Hamill in anything lately? There's a reason for that. He was bad enough in ANH, but he really showed he didn't have it in RoJ. When he tries to sound mystical he sounds stoned. For serenity we get vacancy. Instead of firm resolve we get a sort of vague assurance. Man he was bad. Carrie Fisher wasn't much better in the first movie, but at least she improved in the craft after a few years. Harrison Ford might have been good enough, but he failed to rise to the level of genius it would have taken to break Han out of the "rogue with a good heart underneath it all" mold.
If after thinking about it all in these terms I had any doubt about the quality of the story, I simply have to think about TPM. If Lucas ever had it, he's lost it. There just isn't any enthusiasm left any more. He should have been thinking of the people who'd been waiting almost 20 years for that film, not the 10 year olds the promotional tie-ins were designed for.
Or maybe he was, and this was the best he could do. Oh well. It could have been a lot better.
And the brethren went away edified.
Leave it to Lucas to ruin his movie empire in just a few years
Attack of the Clones? How "B" movie is that? eh?
Movies that usually have a title containing "attack of..," "weekend at...," or "bikini.." are usually failr bad movies. I guess Attack of the clones is better then "Weekend Attack of the Bikini Clones," but it's still bad.
Why couldn't it just be called Episode II, The Clone Wars... or something to that degree. Ehh, who am I kiding, I'll still see it... I just hope Jar Jar doesn't get cloned... I'll walk out.
"Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
What I wouldn't give for the ability to have a separate threshold for comments marked as funny...
Tastes Like Chicken
"Star Wars: Episode II: Worst Episode Ever"
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Oh no! Clones! Run for your lives! The clones are attacking! It's clones! Oh my god! What are we going to do about all these clones! Clones! They've been cloned! And they're attacking! Noooo! Make the clones stop! It's the attack of the clones! Help! Help!
How about "The Death Of Jar Jar?" Or maybe "Jar Jar's Slow, Painful, Torturous Demise?" Or en espanol, "La Dia De La Muerta De Jar Jar?" Anything with Jar Jar dying, I'll pay $15 bucks to see. Maybe "Jar Jar Gets Flung Into A Blender and C3P0 Sets It To Puree?"
Blog Prophyts - Right On, Man
Big Bird is a good analogy given number of Jim Henson creations in the third movie. When a Star Wars movie uses burping muppets for comic relief, you know it's all but over.
It's bad enough that Lucas feels the need to put "Episode One" and "Episode Two" in the new titles, like we all suddenly forgot. Ugh.
PS. See you all opening weekend! :)
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
This would be called Episode II: The Emperor Mails It In
Well, if Lucas actually cloned a whole bunch of Jar-Jars that'd really start a war, y'know, fans vs. Lucas. Might^H^H^H^H^HWould be nasty.
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
If I ever got 5 minutes with George Lucas -- I would spend the first minute letting him read this comment and then say -- "George this is how we all feel..." -- But anybody who remembers the Ewoks smashing Stormtroopers in ROTJ had to see this coming....I mean hell even Jar Jar aint so bad when you figure the Ewoks paved the way for him.
(+1 Funny) only if I laugh out loud.
I've got a baaaaad feeling about this.
Can't you see George Lucas is just feeding the press misinformation to protect his precious baby?!
If he came right out now and called it "Attack of the Pod Racers" we'd all know the basic plot long before it's release schedule
:)
Hear me out; I'm not trolling. I think the biggest disappointment with Episode I, and I'm assuming what will happend with Episode II, is the fact that so many people had entered theaters with too many expectations. As an earlier poster mentioned, most of us saw the original movies when we were kids. Being young, we had fewer and different expectations of each movie. Now that we've aged, we've come to expect the new installments in Lucas's saga to be better than the last, and frankly, we've placed very _unreal_ expectations on these films. I am one of the very few people that I've discussed the issue with that actually enjoyed TPM for what it was. I entered the theater with absolutely no expectations whatsoever, and wasn't disappointed in the slightest. Everything (movies, pizza, happy meals, playgrounds, et. al.) was much larger, and much more grandiose when we were kids. Let's all be careful not to apply our current adult perspectives to a series of movies we've allowed to become hallowed and legendary in the youths of our minds.....
...is of course Lord of the Rings. It has such coooooool names : The Fellowship of the Rings, The Two Towers, The Return of the King (guess where Georgie ripped Jedi from...).
Attack of the Clones?! Bwahahahahahahah! Wait, that sounds like such a cool sig....
Mode (3) smart-aleck mode. Press * to return to main menu.
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That would be every drag queen's nightmare.
honestly.
I'm a big retard who forgot to log out of Slashdot on Mike's computer! LOOK AT ME.
Oh yeah, and no more Anakin goin 'YIPPIE'!!!
Orgasmic.
listen george, if you read this or any other posts i hope you know that you are screwing every fan boy over who ever lived to see your big screw ups (jar jar binks, ep2 name) i can not believe the name of your epic starwars is going to receive a name so far below the belt that it hurts everyone in the world who has seen it.. goodness, did u even try to read it out loud and see how it sounds first? did u even run it by some studio execs to see if they cared? oh my G, this man is insane i tell yall! you have pissed me off for the last and final time, screw you and ur f'ing star wars crap!
Contrary to slashdot conventional wisdom, both children and adults enjoyed TPM.
Vermifax
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They actually managed to come with a title dumber than 'The Phantom Menace'
Star Wars: Episode 2: The Secret of Clone Inish
Well, can't say I have seen him in a good movie in quite some time, but he gets mad props for doing the voice of the Joker in BTAS.
No matter how much Ep1 sucked my ass, I'll still go see Ep2. The entire star wars brand has so much damn momentum now, it doesn't matter if the next one was just footage of a bear taking a shit in the woods; it would still break box office records, morons would still buy stupid plastic toys like there was no tomorrow, and Lucas would hemorage even more money.
You'll go see it, I'll go see it, we'll all try to get opening night tickets.
(Note: I read the "scriptment" (which was a generalization and organization of all the ep2 story rumors and leakages) on theforce.net before it was taken down. Sounded like a bunch of crap to me, aside from maybe Yoda getting into a lightsaber duel.)
python -c "x='python -c %sx=%s; print x%%(chr(34),repr(x),chr(34))%s'; print x%(chr(34),repr(x),chr(34))"
> But anybody who remembers the Ewoks smashing Stormtroopers in ROTJ had to see this coming
Yeah, I thought the scene where Leia came out of the Ewok's home wearing her nightgown would have made a much better meme for him to follow up on.
At least we would know where Wookies come from.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Star Wars movies are not movies as many of you morons are reducing them too. A minor bump on the road (menace) does not deter my faith in the series. A title that you geeks don't like does not deter my faith in the series. I just can't compare one of the most influential events of my generation to any other mere movie. I think that Lucas has earned the credit you should give him. Even in Menace, he displayed things that we've never before seen. And remember, he is responsible for us being jaded to the special effects. Wake up and realize. You can't criticize a star wars movie and you can't criticise a star wars title. A Star Wars movie is (before production even) above every other effort Hollywood can even try. That's why the minor thing of a title appeared as a headline here and has gotten more responses than anything here lately (and in very little time). And that's why it'll be here pretty steadily until it comes out in the theater.
Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor
I'll bet my honor this is a joke pulled by some lame hacker. Wait for a few days and it will be pulled off probably. Lucas is not this stupid.
everybody knows that it should be Episode II: The Clone Wars
IBM dominated the PC market. The clones came in and kicked some buttox. IBM was defeated but not destroyed. I'm still not sure how apple fit in the story.
10. Plan 9 From a Galaxy Far, Far Away
9. I Married a Dark Jedi
8. It Came from Tatooine
7. Die, Jedi, Die!
6. Will Success Spoil George Lucas?
5. Evil Sith 2: Army of Clones
4. Urotsukijedi
3. Pod Racer Summer
2. Midichlorians: the Awakening
And the number one rejected title for Star Wars Episode 2...
1. Surf Gungans Must Die
When I first heard the title would be "Attack of the Clones"
Well, let's hope that the new Star Wars doesn't suck as bad as it's name suggests.
healyourchurchwebsite.com - WWJB?
If Chewy isn't in it ... it sucks!
cloning is the stupidest thing to come out of science that i can think of at this moment. cloning + humans = - evolution sheep + jesus's brother = cult :)
Call it "Star Wars: Episode II -- Labor Disputes of the Banta Farmers" and follow star Mandy Patinkin's life as an old, heart diseased union representative.
What makes the names of the old Starwars movies so great? Yes... if you look at them without having had the "Starwars experience" they are definatly packed with cheese. So, isn't the real thing we're all bitching about the fact that the real reason the old movie titles are viewed as being so great by most of us is that the movie made the title big not vice versa? Think about it, how many movies in the US sell tickets because of the title? "Pearl Harbor" "Planet of the Apes" "Lost in Space" have their own amount of cheese, but they have a HUGE story backing them. So I think what most of that big arsed run on sentance is trying to say is that we would all much rather see it named "Episode II:The Clone Wars" because it has a story behind it. Then again, I'm 21 so what the hell do I know. :-) Cheers :-)
Lots of things for children contained violence in any case. Saturday morning cartoons had more violence in them then some movies I wouldn't have been able to watch.
Vermifax
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Enjoy. http://www.sonic.net/~nbs/clones.gif
TPM is essentially prologue. It's setting the stage for what will happen in the rest of the series. The atmosphere (one I think Lucas didn't do that good a job of portraying) is that of an idyllic Republic that's soon to fall apart. It makes no sense for such a movie to be dark,
Except that it is dark. Thousands of people get killed in a war, with the only result being that Darth Sidious/Palpatine/The Emperor gets control of the Republic. The whole movie is, like the Republic, candy-coated on the outside, with a rotten core of hubris and arrogance on the part of the good guys (Qui-Jon and Kenobi) and evil triumphant (Palpatine-Sidious, Anakin starting on the path to becoming Vader).
The problem is that Lucas overestimated his adult audience, expecting that they would pick up on those things. And so a bunch of half-wits scream and yell "it sucks!" because it went over their heads.
But it is important to remember those things that impressed us as children when the original trilogy came out and made us feel like life is wonderful and somwhere outthere there is an adventure waiting for us, that will transform boys into men and dream into reality. That feeling has nothing to do with Lucas though. It's all within you. Jut like the force. I don't think Lucas has ever been a genius of any kind. He exploited mithology motives to create a cartoon. It turned out much better than that and inspired a lot of people, because the symbolism of the movie actually talked more to those who saw the movie than to those who made it. Remeber, what you felt seing those movies was not Lucas's intetintion. He just wanted to make money and a cartoon. It's been proved with his last episode and the title of the one to come. So, if you feel disappointed with his last work, you're right, it sucks. I wish people boycott at least the first 3 days of "Attack of the clowns". that would be soo cool. :)
I'm often shocked how many 'Dune fans' haven't read those three books. Personally, I think they are better. They left a much greater lasting impression on me. Oh, and by the way... The Zerg in Startcraft are a lot more like the monsters in these three books than the Aliens in Alien. The Big Gas bags, the wormy larva things, the hydrolisk (sp?) etc.
Please don't feed the trolls.
It's time for the real scoop. Which of these titles is NOT under consideration?
Episode III: Jedi Kids
Episode III: Darth Takes a Holiday
Episode III: For A Few Clones More
Episode III: A Tatooine Christmas
Episode III: Click Here To Purchase Title
An online petition has formed, maybe we can fix this.. http://www.petitiononline.com/Smith01/petition.htm l
Get over it, man. Star Wars is a children's franchise. It was never good to begin with, so why expect it to be the pinnacle of film now?
Obviously flamebait. But you expect it to be better because Lucas should be better after 20 years of great filmmaking. Don't you think?
----- rL
Really? I could have sworn that when he gets whacked with the wrench, his ear almost comes off and he starts leaking white goo. I thought that was part of the point, how the company was still lying to Ripley. I don't have the movie with me now, so unfortunately, I can't check.
I guess I can't explain the reaction to the suicide unless he's some sort of super-android, who has had an "emotion chip" installed.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
--Scott Adams
Those who are complaining about "Attack of the Clones" should get a grip. 1) That title fits in with the others (it rates about the same on the lame-o-meter as "Empire Strikes Back" or "Revenge/Return of the Jedi") and 2) It's a MOVIE.
Attack of the Jedi Tomatoes!
Why don't they do what they really want to and call it STAR WARS EPISODE II: IN COME THE CLONES. I mean really that is what they were really thinking wasn't it?
"Attack of the Clones" on DVD.... you can find it next to the always popular "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
why in hell I should worry about what the so-called "average Joe" thinks about me? This sounds like facism. from a nerd who likes Matrix and PowerGirls, if it's important