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People with real l337 speak names?
An anonymous reader writes "I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender. My wife isn't too keen on the idea but there's plenty of time left to persuade her. Anyway, it had me wondering whether there are any people out there with real l337 speak given names (or even just a digit in their name). Do you know of any? Other than people saying your dad is a l4m3r, What are the possible pitfalls of having a digit in your name? Is it legal to have a digit in a name? Am I guaranteeing my child becomes a misfit? Am I the misfit?" Ask Jennifer 8. Lee.
Yeah, I'm going to name my first born son fr1st p50t!!11
Jon Blake Cusack 2.0
Thoughts on tech, Software Engineering, and stuff
Imagine having a commonly used pr0n word in your name.
John.
As far as April Fools jokes go, this takes the biscuit.
It's both unfunny and the story makes no sense.
I'm amazing. You aren't. SUCK IT
One problem would be taking standardized tests such as the SATs. There are no numbers in the section where you bubble in your name. Your child could lose the 400 points given for putting your name on the test...
eclecti.cc
I think you'll just wind up irreperably harming your child, as when they get to school and interact with kids, they'll be mercilessly made fun of. hey, if you want to be father to the next dylan kleybold, thats up to you, but do it in an isolated area where you will be the only casualty.
I had my name legally changed to Ry4an 10 years ago. It's worked out fine though most formal records just exclude it.
Why d1dn't 1 th1nk 0f thi5!
i cant seem to find the story anywhere but im sure there is a guy in Europe that called his son after him.
But included v2.0 in it!!.
"The quality of life is inversely proportional to the number of keys on your keyring."
I can't help you on the new name, but to get the name you want make sure withhold the epidural until the little lady complies.
Skipping the episiotomy could be the next step, but let's hope your demands are met in good time.
Eve Fairbanks says I drive a hybrid!LOL
I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender. My wife isn't too keen on the idea but there's plenty of time left to persuade her... considering you haven't even met her yet. Now move out of your parent's basement and stop posting April Fool's jokes.
#!/usr/bin/english
i agree with this post.
all us boys got unusual names. Makes you tough.
Sue.
It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
I know this is OT, but WTF is the topic today anyway?
My name is Roel and it's pronounced like the English word 'rule'.
sig(h)
But,
On the off chance it is not then the best thing to do is to change your own name and see how it goes.
Reserve the stupid name for your second child if you find it so great.
name your child 8347 M3
What doesn't kill you only delays the inevitable
My parents named me sc0. They thought they were so cool with their UnixWare server. I'm in therapy now.
a joke. :(
She isn't "too keen" eh? I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY!
Only m0r0ns use 133t sp34|.
clifgriffin > blog
I am going to name my first child :-) . Because he/she will the happiest child in the world with a name like :-)
EyE 4m 51cK of 4pr11 f00lz 570ri3z. tihs 4r71(13 is TEH SUX!!111!!!
8u7 1n (453 17'5 r34l,
g0 4 17!!!!
OMG!!! r0x0r!!11!!! j00 0wnz!!
The perfect sig is a lot like silence, only louder
...stupid isn't illegal yet.
LilMikey.com... I'll stop doing it when you sto
but you are the weakest link. Goodbye!
My parents also believed in using pop culture fads for children's names.
--Electric Slide McAllister
April = 1
print "Happy April Fools Day"
Else
print "You're friggin stoned.."
Sorry, I only know basic..
= Grow a brain...
Be prepared for inconvenience. I considered changing my name to "Bob 4 Apples" (not very seriously) and realized lots of forms and data entry systems can't accomodate or will trap numbers in a name field. I just pre-slugged thousands of optical scan forms with names. No space for a number so you'd get a blank.
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Why don't you just name your kid "Kick my ass"
After talking with my k3wl LOL friends on AOL Chat, I decided to name my son Bill Gates. I know this is so l33t. donno why some of you slashdot guys ridicule me so.
considering the fact that most l33t speakers stereotypicaly lack reproductive partners
"I'm making perfect sense, you're just not keeping up."
Thanks, editors! You guys are aw3s0m3!
OK, April Foole or not, your child deserves a real name, not a gag name or a spoof or your attempt to make a point or to be cute. You've no clue what will become of your child later in life, what path they will take, who they will work and live with. A name is one of few things you have control over in their life, and a bad/goofy name can really impact a child's psyche and who they become. My own father never outgrew the name Jan (old world version of John) and forever held it against his parents. If you need further reference, look at the flack that the musician Prince put up with when he changed his name to an unprononucable symbol. Do you really want people laughing at your kid behind his/her back the rest of their life?
Name them Robert, Sarah, Bruce, Steve, Karen, Jessica, whatever. Just don't get cute or play games with your kids name. It's too important for you to mess with.
Yeah I know slashdot is for nerds and stuff, but why the hell is this news?
- oh yeah... April 1st.
damn, I need some coffee...
Servers are being pounded right and left by some new worm variant, the only one functioning (of interest) is slashdot.
And what's today got to be? April 1st.
Why oh why. It's not even worth reloading the page.
> Br4d
> J4n37
Dr. Scott!
Rocky!
Wait a minute. Didn't I say that on the other side of the record? I'd better check
My first CS TA in college's first name was 'H' he said that it had caused him a lot of problems. In fact I just searched for him on Google and http://www.cs.pitt.edu/%7Ehcl/me/name.html this page explains it.
Any earlier reference to a number in a name in fiction? Not just the idea that your name could be replaced with a number, but a number in a name.
But serisously f0lks:
There was a US couple who decided to version number their children. I'm suprised that his wife actually agreed to it.
Norman Cook's Ode to Sl
If you're serious, and not just for April Fools, this is for the name of a real human being for their entire lifespan. Don't give them an odd name just because you think it's cool at the moment. Oh, and make it a normal spelling of the name so they won't be correcting everyone and spelling it out a million times over their lifetime.
Like playing the soggy biscuit game, do you? Certainly not a game one wants to lose.
The above post is an editorial, the poster cannot and will not be held responsible for all or in part for it's contents
Anyone retarded enough to name their kid in l3375p34k lacks the genes that would make higher learning a possibility anyhow.
Trolling is a art,
"A woman with an extreme love of vegetarianism is legally changing her name to GoVeg.com. The woman formerly known as Karin Robertson is now named after a vegetarian infor- mation website to encourage carnivores to give up their meat-eating ways and become vegetarians. The 23-year-old GoVeg.com is a Youth Project Specialist for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and says her new name is a great conversation starter. However, she has had a little trouble at airports trying to get security guards to believe her when she shows them her drivers license. She also had her mother worried about what to do if she got married, but GoVeg.com says her parents understand how much animal rights activism means to her. She couldn't imagine changing her name back. "To be named after the number one website for vegetarian information -- what could be better?""
So you can even hae punctuation in your name.
|<L34rLy j00 |)0 |\|07 |_|nD3r574nD @d\/4||\|C3D l337 5p33k 17 1s m[]r3 t|-|3|\| j|_|57 d1g|7s, l0l!!!!!111@
http://mediagoblin.org/
Don't be one of those idiot parents that names their child Moon or Sky... those names sounded pretty cool back in the sixties, but now they look like morons. Same thing here... naming your kid 733t or some other idiot name today will guarantee an ass wooping by some kid named bubba 10 years from now. Spare the kid... please.
Back in 1999 there was a guy at Apple who's name (as posted outside his cube) was Bo3b. I believe the '3' was silent.
to find themselves alone. -La Bruyere wz
-Alex Armstrong wbj
Don't do it. My best friend is scarred for life by the legal name Desuma. Yes, amused backwards. Don't do that to your child! As a parent your primary concern should be to give them the oppotunity to advance and lead a normal and sucessful and happy life. =)
Records show that prisoners in France around the time of the French Revolution were forced to change their names to numbers. One famous person is Jean Valjean or 24601, whose life during this period of French unrest was documented by Victor Hugo in his book "Les Miserables."
People judge you on your name.
I know from personal experience.I have a strange name..Aram, Simple but different. . I've had a few people tell me what they were expecting from name someone "with a turban". Or my last name Com jean which some people think as french "you don't speak french???". I'm just a caucasion with some armenian mixed in.
My name I like, but I'm often pre judged on it. I can't imagine what Dweezle Zappa would go through if his father wasn't so famous.
The Jean Paul Sartre Experience bx
A little Indian boy asked his father, "Dad how did I get my name?"
"Well, son, when your sister was born we looked out of the teepee and saw a running deer, so we named her Running Deer. When your brother was born we looked out of the teepee and saw a soaring eagle, and we named him Soaring Eagle. So why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking?
Ok.. Ok.. Ill play along.. 1337 names are extremely dull and boring.. besides.. you would have to be a 100% Certified NERD to do that.. See, Im a geek.. I am thinking of changing my name to something a little more classy... such as Neo.. Now that is an interesting name.. but calling someone h4xx0r Smith or maybe j4m3s Or something is rather stupid IMHO
Just me
If its a girl call her
D310R3S (delores)
That should get science club bullies excited.
There is a doctor in western CO whose name is 9. She's actually quite a nice person and usually goes by her middle name if I recall (which is something much more generic). A close friend of mine goes to her when she has to have doctor "stuff" done.
-----------------------------------------
Remove the Greed which plagues mankind.
Didn't George from Seinfield want to name his kid Seven?
becomes the first science to state what common sense and the poets have long known -- that the essence of money is in its absolute worthlessness. -Norman O. Brown ebr
Imagine how many "69 Dude"s would be walking around.
If numbers are too much to ask for, how about some punctuation. I would love to add one or three exclamation marks for enthusiasm to my name. People can deadpan John but can they deadpan John!!! I think not.
+10 Karma to the first person to figure out what that is :)
Moderate this comment
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Nothing to see here
First change your name to Br4|) and live with the humiliation of it for a while before inflicting that on your child.
did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." -Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" phj
I have a grandson named Darren Andrew Terrence Anderson - initials D.A.T.A. - after the StarTrek android...
Does killing two genres with multiple names count?
Regards,
BubbaJonBoy
dA|\/||\/|It J4n37 y0U'r3 4 slU7z0r!!!!!!!!!
In 1965, my parents had the foresight to name me in anticipation to the "Dot Com" craze of the 90's where everything was "e" something the other (eMail, eCommerce, eLottery, eBiz, eBay,...)
My name is eRick
on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that. -- Richard Nixon cy
-Gary W Keefe, on business ethics (contributed by Nathan Poznick) tvk
Came to light with its face in its belly; Her second was born With a hump and a horn, And her third was as shapeles as jelly. -- Edward Gorey bqp
All the creatures will die, And all the things will be broken. That's the law of samurai. (Jubai, 1605)
either Br4d or J4n37
How about R0cky, Fr4nk, C01um814 or M4g3n74?
ON DELETE CASCADE
uug
I'm not sure if being perceived as a misfit is really the problem here. Children, particularly at younger ages are a malicious lot, I can't think of a good reason to make your child a bigger target for harassment and ridicule by giving them a "different" name. Similarly cruel names given by parents to their children I have observed were: In one family, the two kids were named "Einstein" and "Atomic" yes these were the first names given by their parents to these unfortunate offspring. Also a number of years back a Swedish (?) couple named their first born a series of random numbers and letters, something to like..his name is "x231ggseiyysxx3456etrydhf264" but pronounced "Albin" People are strange.
and wide as a smart ass. -- Howard Kandel of
Stay away from the number 2. I work for a company with a 2 in the name, and it is just this side of impossible to spell it to people over the phone. The same would go for 4 too.
Mike van Lammeren
It will challenge your head, your brain, and your mind.
Perhaps the lamest April fool's joke ever.
Your wife isn't the one to worry about. Just ask anyone that started life as Moonbeam, Flower, or Song.
To err is human. To arr is pirate.
Actually, when I went to St. John's College, there was an administrator named Sus3an Borden. Apparently, when she was young, she was always in class with two other Susans, and the 3 became a way to distinguish herself. Now she is called "Susan" but then I think it was "Susan-3". I believe it is her legal name. Google for her name and the first entry is in the St. John's College campus directory.
The shit has hit the fan. -- Warren Zevon oz
His wife got to pick their son's first name--Ocean. He didn't like it, so for his pick as the middle name, he chose 2,4,5-Trioxin, which is the "chemical" that brings the dead back to life in the movie Return of the Living dead.
No, really.
we're waiting for [the phone company] to fix that line bdt
If you want your kid to grow up with a pathological hatred for you, then by all means name him "Br4d".
There is this movie where the passenger asks the cab driver [paraphrased]
"what's the name of your daughter"
"Eunice" replies the cab driver
Eunice? --says the passenger
The way I figure it, you will never be president if they name you brandi or britney or any of the other cutessy names. But if your name is Eunice Wilson, you could well grow up to be President Eunice Wilson.
Seriously, if you look there are various studies that have tracked kids with highly unusual names-it is too frequently a big hassle.
errors as we forgive those whose logic circuits are faulty. Load us not into frustration, and deliver us from power surges, For thine is the algorithm, the application and the solution, looping forever and ever. RETURN. (contributed by Nathan Poznick) fq
the grand fallacy. yi
what we have suffered to another hundred or so. -R.W. Dickson (contributed by Chris Johnston) wa
Trolls lurk everywhere. Mod them down.
...who went to high school with these two people, brother and sister. The guy's name was Chip, the girl's name was Cookie.
The dog's name was Chocolate.
I shit thee not.
"People" using "unnecessary" quotes should be "shot".
http://www.rootstrikers.org/
think PC's were the greatest thing since sliced bread... Then someone showed me sliced bread. lfx
In any case we had to file her name with an 'E' so don't waste your time.
It helps if you are rich. Just ask Lady 3Jane Marie France Tessier-Ashpool. It also helps if you are in Freeside; Orbital law is soft on cloning as well.
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender.
If this is an All Fool's Day joke, it's funny.
If not, then please, get a life.
Consider that enigmatic character from William Gibsons "The Sprawl" trilogy.
Of course she was the second clone of the original Jane Tessier-Ashpool, but hey...
I don't have a TV now, but that's ok. The shows in my mind are almost ALWAYS better...
I've always thought "Fuck" was a perfectly good name for either a boy or a girl.
while($today == "04/01") {
showLamePost();
}
inspires self-distrust. He guides their eyes from himself to the spirit that quickens him. He will have no disciple. -Amos Bronson Alcott ds
Translation: I hate my child, and wish to see them get beaten regularly in school.
You don't have another child named Squee, do you?
--- Ban humanity.
My father, who is the recipient of a unusual first name, often says to my grandmother: if you liked so much the friggin' name why didn't you change yours and named me Jimmy.
You should legally change your own name to M0r0n first.
Clearly you do not understand advanced elite speak, it is more than just digits, haha!
of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. -Niels Bohr raj
Seriously, this has to be a joke no one in their right mind would considering doing this to their child. Just think of the beatings this kid will have to endure when they go to school.
There's no shame in being a pariah. -Marge Simpson
my wife and i discussed this 4 years ago and decided that bubble tests would be a real spoiler. she and both my sons already deal with the problem of being second name people, meaning they use just their first initial. my oldest (8) likes that our phone number spells his name and likes to write that on emails he sends, so it might have been cool for him. my second has a name that can be totally spelled in with numbers and symbols, but though he types pretty well at age 3 (still hunt and peck and only rudimentary spelling) he is more into sports and bullying, so we probably made the right decision with him.
Anything you say will be held against you.
coming dad! (@) *shudder*
An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
The search on "Jennifer 8. Lee" brought back an interesting blog comment: If it's simply the number eight, why does it have a period after it?
My grandfather's name is A C (let's call him Jonesmith for privacy). When he married my grandmother (first grandpa died before I was born), I thought his name was "Acee", like the local milk company. But his first name is "A", and his middle name is "C". And his full name is A C Jonesmith, not A. C. Jonesmith.
So the blogger is right -- if her middle name is "8", it should be "Jennifer 8 Lee", no period.
And my grandpa was 1337 before 1337 was invented.
Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
of different places, just write a Unix operating system. -Linus Torvalds lx
a glib tongue, a church membership, a large family, and absolutely no sense of economics. -Henry's Political Pragmatism dw
If you have to give them a weird middle name but seriously its a kid not a psychology experiment.
This is the ultimate in inconsiderate selfishness. The name you give a child is the name that child is going to be stuck with, at least until they're old enough to change it to something sensible. Children are not 'possessions' or baubles that hang around as a display of your status or in this case you 'geekiness'. Consequently the name you give a child is something very serious and deserving of every bit of consideration you can give it and more. With more idiots like this naming their children in the same way they would name a pet or even a car, I would not be surprised to see more lawsuits in the future by offspring pissed off at their parents for the lifetime of humiliation heaped upon them by these inconsiderate jerkwads who don't deserve the title of 'parent'. You don't think it'll happen? There's already cases of young men suing their parents over being circumcised - a very common practice until recently. A child's name is NOT a joke. Grow the hell up!
To put it into perspective. "Prince Michael" might not be old enough to care right now, but once he's a young adult, do you think he's really going to appreciate the amount of consideration is self-obsessed ass-wipe of a father gave his name?
I consider myself a big geek compared to normal people. I think the nicest thing about slashdot is that it reminds me that I am the freakin Fonz compared to you guys. Wow
There are plenty of perfectly good names that won't bring ridicule on your child. Pick one or make one up.
I grew up with a weird name and had kids spit in my face and pick on me and beat me up for it... You're not the one who has to live with the crap you dish out.
The price we pay for immortality... is death. Narnia The Great Fall
I went to college with an &erson and dated Christian Dick.
in others is the true test. -Elbert Hubbard stj
N47413 Pr07m4n, or
B30wu1f K1us73r
Is this the modern day version of a boy named sue?
Yes, I know it's April 1st.
-Harold S. Hubert us
falsehood. -Guy Debourd, "The Society of the Spectacle" ss
Depending on when the kid watches the Matrix, all he's going to ever hear when he comes home is "Mr. Anderson, welcome back... we missed you."
"Why Subscribe?" Good question...
Would someone take a JOKE and actually re-code it...
= Grow a brain...
bb
I know this is a 4/1 joke. But if this were to happen most likely they would just have the issue that I do- two completely legal spellings of their name.
My birth certificate says Brodie.
My social security card says Brody.
Drivers licence says Brodie.
Passport says Brody.
The only time that its taken more than a 30 second explination was when I applied for the US foreign service. I just had to produce basically everything that I had to show that it was used consistently within document branches, and that there was no fraud involved.
So Br4d would probably just bubble in "Brad" when he took his SAT.
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
-- Keith Richards I never turn blue in anyone's bathroom. I think that's the height of bad taste. -- Keith Richards jju
Both of my kids are adopted. Before they came into my life one had the first name "Dorkus" and the other had the middle name "Doggiedog." We changed that really fast!
iq
qu
This guy named his son Jon Blake Cusack 2.0
Max(x) Barry's Syrup has a character named 6.
My name is Shane but pronounced "Shawn" and I live in America. Does anyone else pronounce it the same or heard of anyone? Is this common in Ireland? It's caused confusion throughout my life, mostly in school. In fact, in high school I went by the normal pronunciation of Shane just so I didn't have to deal with it. People I work with who only see my name in print (paperwork etc) call me "Shane" as well and I don't correct them out of habit. It's like I have two names :/
fear. Although we can never rivet our fortune so tight as to make it impregnible, we may by our excessive prudence squeeze out of the life that we are guarding so anxiously all the adventurous quality that makes it worth living. -Randolph Bourne, "Youth and Life" vh
Actually, (and I did double check the dictionary to be certain I'm not making an incorrection) there are two primary definitions of "gender." One is the meaning you provide. The other is "sex," as in the masculine or feminine gender - not a grammatical term. So the use of gender in the original post is correct - although it's one of a number of posts today which suggest such bad ideas that I suspect they're poor April Fool's jokes.
then somehow get her clothes back on her. Finally, so she will allow you to leave her, you've got to annoy her. -- Jean Giraudoux, "Amphitryon 38" ht
9|_3453 637 50/\/\3 94/>3/\/71/\/6 <|_45535 4/\/\> 7#3/>49`/ 83|=0/>3 `/0|_|/> <#1|_> 15 80/>/\/...
"It is our blasphemy which has made us great, and will sustain us, and which the gods secretly admire in us." - Zelazny
and will burn more, given time. -Alex Armstrong kh
wdl
Smell from unhygenic janitorial staff wrecked the tape heads qe
Well, I haven't. I find that whenever a woman becomes friends with me, she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damn nuisance; and whenever I become friends with a woman, I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, Pickering, a confirmed old bachelor and very likely to remain so. -- Henry Higgins, "My Fair Lady" rv
-Raymond Kennington zat
I would never get online on April 1st anymore, it's getting b0r1n6! If this isn't a joke, it's the GH3Y357 thing ever, and I hope your child becomes a maladjusted seial killer that starts with you.
I named him jaNOSPAMcob.
A fictional place where elves, gnomes and economic imperialists create electronic equipment and computers using black magic. It is said that in the capital city of Akihabara, the streets are paved with gold and semiconductor chips grow on low bushes from which they are harvested by the happy natives. vla
keep them in working order. -John Quincy Adams lbx
inr
Am I guaranteeing my child becomes a misfit?
Yes, you are, but it does not depend on naming. Your choice to reproduce is more at fault.
Is this a real world child or one that you are having in the MMORPG that you've been spending too much time playing.
Look at the wall: Real world.
Look at the screen: Imaginary world.
Move out of your parent's basement and try a real girlfriend. Scary, but worth while.
A friend of mine gave his son the middle name "Danger".
The theory was that his son would only have to say "Well, Danger is my middle name" once in his life to make it all worth while.
(Brad, if you are out there, give Mike a call)
It's bad enough we have people out there named "Sunray" and "Moonbeam". Now our children have to contend with this?!
Bobby [to Br4d]: Nice name...g33k.
Br4d: [plotting father's demise]
honnold.org - sometimes-rock band, all the time awesome forum
Figuring out what to do with the other 3K. kz
Some things off the top of my head (So what if this is April 1st):
How names work alphabetically? What if you son/daughter publishes a book. I bet the Library of Congress will have a shit-fit trying to index it by author's name.
How the hell is it supposed to be pronounced? Brad? Brfourd? B-R-Four-D?
Your son/daughter will become a geek like you. You're a geek. You posted on /. on April 1st. Your children being geeks will be enough torture through grade school. Why make it worse?
I waant to be there when your son/daughter enlists in the military and the Drill Instructor goes Ape-Shit on your kid.
:-)
Nice article.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order"
-- The Doctor, "Doctor
Best let your child decide what to use. If you intend to use something odd, American practice will allow it but will continually test data entry systems programmed by dull people. (For greater amusement include some punctuation glyph in the name, preferably one that does not appear in any common computer fonts. There's a nifty reverse arrow that was in ASCII-64 that was removed (changed to underscore) in ASCII-68 that might qualify.)
However, make it a middle name with an initial letter that is alphabetic so if your offspring prefer to conceal this evidence of your oddity they can do so.
The advice won't work everywhere. I read once that the French had a law under the old monarchy requiring use of names in the Bible. During the French Revolution it was repealed, but when people began naming their kids things like "Mort aux Bourbons" it got reinstated. Good thing Louis Phillipe was cool...
Snatch dby
Also, it doesn't take a bad A.P. Rilfools joke to come up with bad names. My friend's late mother taught primary school, and one of her students (whose parents were from another country) had a name pronounced SHI-thee-ad, but unfortunately spelled Shithead. Hand to God.
I know, I'm an evil man for giggling at both a stranger's culture and his misfortune, but there's a dearth of intelligent humor today so the fourth-grade stuff will have to do.
It's so much more attractive / inside the moral kiosk.
That's true for other languages, but you might have consulted a dictionary before attempting (incorrectly and pedantically) to correct the poster regarding English usage. As seen from definitions 2-3, gender is an acceptable term in English to refer to a male/female distinction for humans.
Other languages can do what they like, but simply because English is different from other languages doesn't make it wrong. Many languages use one word for two usages that are split in other languages See below. Sex and gender in this usage are accepted synonyms.
*****************
gender ( P ) Pronunciation Key (jndr) n.
1. Grammar.
2. Sexual identity, especially in relation to society or culture.
3. a) The condition of being female or male; sex.
b) Females or males considered as a group: expressions used by one gender.
Whose cunt could be fitted with coins, Till a guy from Hoboken Went and dropped in a token, And now she rides free on the ferry. acl
-Publilius Syrus, "Maxims" we
tsv
uec
Emily's Sassy Lime kj
Heck, we were doing this back in the 60's and 70's. Not "officially" though, but for example a cute redhead named Jeri used to say her name was spelled Je7ri with the 7 being silent, and we did many of the character replacements with numbers based on similarities as noted by a blind friend of ours (That was 573v3, for those reading who knew our little group of phone phreaks). If you're worried about the longevity of a fad like this then give your kid a "normal" first name but a wildly creative middle name and then it is up to them which way to go with it.
cq
Sincerely,
Dorkus B. Flatulus
Read the EFF's Fair Use FAQ
I worked with a guy once who had legally changed his name from Ryan to Ry4an. He apparently did it in high school to screw with the standardized test forms.
In case you're wondering:
1. The 4 was silent
2. Yes, he was a programmer
3. He didn't seem any stranger than your run of the mill, non-numerically named programmers
4. He did express a bit of regret for all of the hassle it had led to.
Ry4an if you're out there, Hi!
to watch someone else doing it wrongly, without commenting. ft
I did know a family with three girls: KayD, LayC and MinD. Does that count?
Like making love in a canoe -- fucking close to water. ze
If you're geeky enough to use names like that, how the hell are you going to father a child?!?!?
It takes having sex with a real, living, breathing woman, not your hand or blow-up doll.
I'm afraid that leaves most geeks with a childless future.
Real geeks give their kids names that start with /dev/.
Called a hen a most elegant creature. The hen, pleased with that, Laid an egg in his hat -- And thus did the hen reward Beecher. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes kwt
them up when you're drunk. la
Writes to say she believes she's been hexed: "I don't mind my shins Being stuck full of pins, But I fear I am coming unsexed." -- Edward Gorey vu
Perhaps in imitation of Neal Stephenson (whose novel Snow Crash had a character named Da5id), I had a friend in high school who called himself "Da3vid" or "Da3ve". The 3 was silent...
N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
I think this is the first time I've seen someone spell lose (vs. loose) correctly on /.
of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks... -- James Joyce apd
Dogs in heat, rabid, foaming, A beast caged in the heart of the city. The body of his mother lying in the summer ground, He fled the town. Went down south across the border, Left the chaos and disorder Back there, over his shoulder. One morning he awoke in a green hotel, A strange creature groaning beside him. Sweat oozed from its shiny skin. Is everybody in? The ceremony is about to begin. -- Jim Morrison, "Celebration of the Lizard" rk
the bottom, it gets a slight shock and walks away. A rat would probably be killed, though it can fall safely from the eleventh story of a building, a man is broken, a horse splashes. -J. B. S. Haldane, "On Being the Right Size" fzu
weren't for other people -Blore lr
"Hi! I'm 212.90.0.89! Want to come to 127.0.0.1 and h4 | R-0uND?" -or- "Honey, look at that! our kids are so alike! They have the same class C ip address! How sweet!
I fight a continuing problem with name pattern nazis. I go by my second of four names so (with initials) my name would be written "R. Craig T. Altenburg". Way too many forms and computer programs tend to expect only names in the "First Name -- Middle Initial -- Last Name" pattern. I get somewhat upset when others try to mangle my name to fit.
My rule is that others can use my full name without any initials; they can use the form shown above; or they can use simply "Craig Altenburg". I tend to use the latter.
I had given (passing) thought to giving one of my kids "7" as a middle initial. If you say it as part of a full name it does not sound too obnoxious but, it would cause grief with some (in may opinion) brain damaged programs.
When I code programs that require users to enter a name, I prefer asking for "Family Name" and "Given Names". Where either field can contain whatever characters the users wish to enter.
Why settle for just a number. Make the name be some sort of function.
My name is John {Today's juvian (sp) date mod 26 mapped onto the alphabet} Smith.
That would surely reak havoc on contracts (but I guess could always be verified by the date field that's always next to the signature line.)
--Welcome to the Realm of the Hawke--
v Waveren) kc
Schmuck: Australian for "Dude"
Foster's: Australian for "Beer"
Lame: Australian for this topic.
man, these April Fools articles are 14m3!!!
Sigs are for losers::
-Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan rs
OT, but I'm wondering how many people have tried to post stories of Duke Nukem Forever going gold....
without laughing. -- Oscar Wilde fgd
Either way, the kid's emails will never get past the spam filters.
Imagine it: j8Lee@wherever.edu
or worse: Br4d.Cumming@whevever.edu
Seriously, how much of your email has gotten bounced or blackholed over the years because of your name?
[Fuck Beta]
o0t!
xic
I'm getting married soon and I looked up the laws about changing your name in a couple different states, Washington, Oregon, and Ohio, and every single one of the says that it's alright to have a number spelled out, but having a numeral isn't allowed. Granted, things may be different outside of the US.
sig.
therefore X is stupid.' Stupid people are associated with everything." -Larry Wall og
I don't know about your l337 names, but if you want your child to have their self-confidence buoyed by positive energy every time they enter a room, name your kid Yahtzee. No one can say "Yahtzee" without excessive exuberance and enthusiasm.
armadillos. -Jim Hightower, Texas Agricultural Commissioner nph
I wonder what will happen if you, for example, gave your child a first name that would constitute a valid VBA backdoor for lets say Outlook. All kinds of questions pop up then:
:=)
- Would you get sued constantly for spreading a virus when e-mailing to anyone, signing with your name ?
- How will the custom officer look when he enters your name in his console and saw it go totally nuts ?
- Would the photographers that took your photo for the wanted-portrait be arrested themselves for knowingly spreading illegal code ?
- Would you ever become a succesful programmer, writing kernelcode for Linux V6.2.6, even when that meant every comment with your name in it would make the kernel overflow with proprietary M$ bugcode ?
- What will your parents say when your grade report was not only mailed to them but to the rest of the world as well - automatically ?
On the bright side: you'll probably end up a millionaire, because M$ will pay you everything to change your name by the time you turn 18
Slashdot: stuff for news, nerds that matter, matter for news, stuff that nerd
She uses the number "8" in her byline, a clever device she came up with to differentiate herself from the hordes of other Asian girls named "Jennifer Lee". In fact, I believe there was actually another Jennifer Lee at her high school (Stuyvesant, in NYC, if I remember correctly) that wrote for the paper and she wanted to differentiate herself.
Lots of people have made up stories about the origins of "that wacky NY Times writer's middle initial", that her parents gave her the middle intial "8" because it's a lucky number in China or some such thing. These stories were either made up by silly people or things she once told at a party after a few beers just to see if people would actually believe them, and they have propagated over the Internet (because when you are a Circuits writer, you get geek-fans). The 8 is a creation of her own. Why 8 rather than 9 or 10? I believe because she thought it sounded cool, though the number may have some other personal significance.
So these days she may actually tell people her name is Jennifer 8. Lee because that's her byline and it's become associated with her. But it certainly wasn't her given name by her parents, and to the best of my knowledge she has never gone and changed her legal name or anything of that sort.
Oh, and it doesn't matter because the US doesn't allow numbers in names
Was dozing one day in her pew; When the preacher yelled "Sin!" She said, "Count me in As soon as the service is through." gto
55378008 is J4n37.
Br4d is 70011355
;)
Nothing to see here
71ff4ny, H347h3r, C0dy, Dyl4n, D3rm07, J0rd4n, 74yl0r, Br1774ny, W35l3y, Rum0r, 5c0u7, C4551dy, Z03, Cl0, M4x, Hun73r, K3nd4ll, C417l1n, N04h, 545ch4, M0rg4n, Kyr4, 14n, L4ur3n, Q-b3r7, Ph41l
of an oncoming train. vke
You mean like Spears? Or were you thinking more along the lines of Dick Trickle (Nascar driver; AFAIK, that is his real name).
I'm (seriously) considering changing my last name to a footnote. I don't like being associated with my parents, and intend to take my wife's name when I get married, but until then, I need something--a placeholder. So I want to change my last name to a footnote, specifically [1].
Has anyone ever tried this?
(oh, and for those who care, here's what the note points to)
[1] Geez, that brings back bad memories.
sum
How somebody who would name their kid in l33tspeak was able to get sex in the first place.
-R
the show and they're really excited for you? Well, that's what's happening to me right now. -Mira Sorvino bkn
that's all.
B.
There's some other stuff in the same section about "illegal names" in Denmark.
"I'm sorry, Mister Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, there aren't enough spaces for your name in our database!"
"There are a dozen opinions on a matter until you know the truth. Then there is only one." - CS Lewis (paraprhase)
Does that count?
Why limit yourself to Br4d or J4n37? You could go with Fr4nk-N-Fur73r (hoping that he acheives a doctorate some day), M4g3n74, C0lu/\/\b14, R0ky, or even 3dd13. Wait, scratch that, no one wants to be named for a greaser from the freezer.
The truth about Scientology, Xenu, and you: Operation Clambake
education policy, we can turn that around! -New Zealand National Pary candidate's campaign statement (contributed by Chris Johnston) xqh
-James Barrie ce
Like those poor offspring of Mr. Foreman. Ya know, the ex-heavyweight who now sells mini-grills. At least in public all of his kids are named George.
https://app.box.com/WitthoftResume Code: https://github.com/cellocgw
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
qtx
- the apparatus with which we think that we think. zx
Complete Transient Lockout by
"I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period." -- Steven Moore pj
him. It means that you recognize his superiority to yourself. -Joseph Sobran fzp
likes to say, "If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary." The sooner we accept that as a fact of life, the better we will be able to adjust to each other and enjoy togetherness. "Happily incompatible" is a good adjustment. -Billy Graham, "Just As I Am" www
minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -Anonymous kid aged 7 nog
everybody and still nobody likes him. -Jim Samuels en
-Gael Boardman ax
-- Mike O'Dell qm
l 4T3 PU55Y
Dropping in for a cold one. ac
We just hired this new Indian (from India) guy in our office, and his name is pronounced An-Indian. It is spelled nothing like that, but that is how he has told us it is pronounced. So we've got a bunch of cracker (aka white as you can get) 20-something guys walking around the office asking "Where is Anindian? Can you find Anindian for me? I need Anindian to help me out with this..."
Best-name-ever.
- I love animals. I try to eat at least one a day.
For a boy: j^F or ^Omon.
For a girl: ^Gle or ^Vthia or ^Xdy.
Bright Blue Gorilla pb
dictionary.com pulled a REAL April Fool's joke. That took guillible out of their online dictionary for the day!
Cyde Weys Musings - Scrutinizing the inscrutable
makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. -Frost ot
My God, you should have seen us With a figurehead Of a whore in bed And the mast an upright penis The captain of the lugger Was known as a filthy bugger Declared unfit To shovel shit From one ship to another The first mate's name was Cooper, By god he was a trooper He jerked and jerked Until he worked Himself into a stupor The cabin boy was chipper, A dandy little nipper He shoved cracked glass Inside his ass And circumcised the skipper The captain's wife was Charlotte, Born and bred a harlot Her thighs at night Were lily white By morning they were scarlet The captain's youngest daughter Slipped into the water Her plaintive squeals Announced that eels Had found her sexual quarter The ship's dog's name was Rover, They turned the poor beast over And ground and ground That faithful hound From Tenerief to Dover cyx
on the contrary they are twin sisters. -Jean Baptiste Lacordaire, "Letters to Young Men" yll
In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots. -- Ambrose Bierce xbw
Took a midget in all unawares. But he made members weep For he just couldn't keep His nose out of private affairs. nv
The 1337ist name ever!
I have a fetish for traffic cones
war, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year's rounds by teaching "a singularly important principle of medicine." He asked a nurse to fetch him a sample of urine. He then talked at length about Diabetes mellitus. "Diabetes," he said, "is a greek name; but the Romans noticed that the bees like the urine of diabetics, so they added the word mellitus which means sweet as honey. Well, as you know, you may find sugar in the urine of a diabetic ..."
By now the nurse had returned with a sample of urine which the
registrar promptly held up like a trophy. We stared at that straw-colored
fluid as if we had never seen such a thing before. The registrar then
startled us. He dipped a finger boldly into the urine, then licked his
finger with the tip of his tongue. As if tasting wine, he opened and closed
his lips rapidly. Could he perhaps detect a faint taste of sugar? The sample
was passed on to us for an opinion. We all dipped a finger into the fluid,
all of us foolishly licked that finger.
"Now," said the Registrar grinning, "You have learnt the first
principle of diagnosis. I mean the power of observation." We were baffled.
We stood near the sluice room outside the ward, and in the distance, some
anonymous patient was explosively coughing. "You see," the registrar said
continuing triumphantly, "I dipped my MIDDLE finger into the urine, but
licked my INDEX finger -- not like all you chaps.
mx
Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin." -- David Letterman ed
amounts to much more. -Seneca dwm
Twins named Cookie and Candy. Didn't really know them, just heard the names a lot. They were sisters of one of my former bosses.
of fulfilling his destiny. When it becomes incapable of performing this duty it must be transformed. -Alexis Carrel, "Reflections on Life" isd
I told you once!
I told you twice!
You better wise up!
J4n37 W1355!
i'm going to head home tonight and concieve a child with my girlfriend, just so he or she can grow up and beat up your kid for having a dumb name.
I actually know of a couple that met on the internet because their names had numbers in them. tom and tone is common Norwegian names and to is the norwegian word for 2 so they called themselves 2ne and 2m. well 2m searched for any norwegian girls with 2 as a reference for to(yea he is a real neard) and to this day they still live together. Even got married on the 1.2.3 (1.jan.2003) And even though 2m and 2ne is not real names it's a cute story. If I ever get twins i promise to call them the real good Norwegian names Odd and Even(if they are boys that is :-)
-Tom Robbins mpk
I guess the real question is would your child mind people yelling "51u7!" or "455h013!" every time they say their name.
Apple's own Bo3b Johnson. He's been a member of Apple Developer Support since time immemorial, and has managed to get Bo3b on credit cards and (it's rumored) drivers licences since way before many slashdotters were born.
The 3 is silent by the way. And apparently Bo3b is short for Ro3bert.
What you feel when you see a U-Haul with Texas license plates. yzg
Gibson's Mona Lisa Overdrive had a 3Jane. But she was an insane clone.
perhaps not the best precedent
and you aren't in it.
In all the others all she loves is love. -- George Gordon, Lord Byron, "Don Juan" ri
You've got to give your kid a regular name. You'll cripple their chances of being able to succeed just because of their name. Teachers, peers, bosses, etc. will think you are a freak and will single out your child because of the same name. They'll spend their entire life explaining it and hating you for it all the way finally legally changing it. Don't be cruel. Take it from someone who knows... Signed, Bud Weiser.
so she should get to name the kid.
I've been there with the midwives for both my kids' births. It ain't easy for the woman. Neither is pregnancy, for that matter. Adding to her grief by pushing for some god-awful l33t name so you can demonstrate your hackerness just makes it that much less pleasant.
Just something to think about.
goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. -Thomas Jefferson av
Who was fucking a girl on the stair. The bannister broke, But he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air. gv
Sysadmins busy fighting SPAM. fwq
Brady Bunch Lawnmower Massacre kgh
find the ways in which you yourself have altered. -Nelson Mandela, "A Long Walk to Freedom" hee
pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. -Georges Pompidou (contributed by Chris Johnston) wk
Please don't do this to your child. The amount of teasing and being made fun of can not be measured in any existing unit of mesurement. It may be cute on IRC, but please, please, don't actually name someone like this.
Buckethead
eo
I knew that Santa would never lie. ib
-- Salvador Dali wt
Hey, Br4d and 5lu7 are waaay better than Trout Fishing in America which is still better than 7r0u7 f15h1n9 1n 4m3r1c4.
(/local/home/curiosity)-#who -u|grep thecat|cut -c 44-49|xargs kill -9
fpc
Zsa Zsa rnc
think about sex at all... they become lawyers. -Woody Allen pdk
on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off. -Carl Gustav Jung, "Psychological Reflections" fo
(It's a GREAT book, by the way. :) )
Triv
Dew on the telephone lines. dv
himself. When he steps in he sees a leprechaun with the most enormous penis he has ever seen. As he urinates, he cannot avoid spying on the giant member of the tiny man dressed in green. The leprechaun zips up and the man asks him if he is indeed a real leprechaun. The little man says, "Aye, me laddie, I'm a leprechaun, and I can grant you three wishes." "Oh, wow!" comes the reply, "What do I need to do?" "Well, havin' such a large cock makes it a bit awkward with the ladies, the thing not fittin' and all... I'll grant you your three wishes if you wouldn't mind suckin' me dick 'til I come." The man is a bit taken aback, but agrees, realizing that the three wishes will be priceless. After the tiny fellow has come, he starts to walk away. The man exclaims, "Hey, what about my three wishes?" Replies the leprechaun, "How old are you, me boy?" "25." "Aren't you a wee bit old to be believin' in leprechauns?" pn
Gender is the personal expression of sexual identity. Definition 2 hits this directly, though I could see why an etymologyst would list the grammatical definition of gender first. The 3rd definition is more common usage, but it is split in half with 3b supporting the classification schema definition. Note, none of these definitions refer specifically to biology, just identity perception. And as the baby is too young to have a well formed sexual identity perception, it can be said to be biologically male or female, but it cannot be said to be psychologically masculine or feminine.
Sex is verifiable. Gender is a perception.
The ______ Agenda
Back in college my housing director's name was, no lie, "Sus3an". I figured at first that the "3" was just her trying to make a German "s" on a US keyboard but, no, it was in fact a 3.
Don't do it, dude. Your kids will have enough reasons to hate you without giving them stupid names.
All's true that is mistrusted
april fool jokes aside...
if you want to give your child an unusual name, at least give him or her something s/he can abbreviate to something less unusual if s/he turns out to be more conservative than you, otherwise, s/he could have some problems, among other things, with finding a job, people assuming the name has typo or is a joke name (but I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus!).
even some foreigners are starting to modify their names due to embarrassing phonetic correlation in English... like this Vietnamese person I know: real name "Phuoc". (side note: a friend of mine who is a native French speaker took her child to the Toronto zoo once, and she was teaching her to say the animal names in French. The people around her were evidently scandalized to see this mother teach her daughter to point at a seal and to say: "un phoque!")
That being said, I also know a guy named Richard Hertz, who everyone calls Dick. No joke.
I wouldnt be surprised if one day someone starts an agency to research names that have absolutely no bad connotations in any language.
ym
hzp
What are you to lazy to psychologically damage your own children? You just give them a name that causes everyone else to do it for you? Are you MAD! Name your child with a beautiful non-descript conformative name. If they want to be Z4pp4 |\/|()()|\|rov3r later then they can change their name theirself. -Ben.
The actual reference from your link says "You can not use numbers in your name, like 911, in order to intentionally confuse people." From that, I take it that if your intent is not to confuse, you can use numbers in your name. If not, they should revise their wording in that statement.
must wait till that other is ready. -Henry David Thoreau jg
You should never procreate...
Yes, that'd be cool..
:P
One boy Br4d, one girl J4n3t..
Imagine the first day you'll meet all their primary school class, all singing "L3t'5 d0 7h3 71m3 w4rp 4g41n!".. that'd be nice
Poor sods..
-Howard Zinn yg
I've been considering giving my first born a binary middle name... Soemthing that would be strange and different. Middle name so they can just drop it if they don't like it down the road. Would definatly at least be a conversation piece.
"The next generation of interesting software will be made on a Macintosh, not an IBM PC." -Bill Gates
therefore X is stupid.' Stupid people are associated with everything." -Larry Wall gf
... the Japanese have a past of naming their kids with numbers (not "1337534K"). Well, that's what I heard in my Etymology class, yesterday, at least.
So numbers in names isn't exactly without precident.
In other news, Slashdot ate one of my posts, earlier this morning. I'm still trying to figure out if it was an April Fool's joke to have my post up and dissapear or if it's just Cowboy Neal going on the Atkins diet. (I suspect that Slashdot posts have low carbs.)
Anyhow, happy pre-Gregorian calendar/"Pagan" New Year, everyone!
~UP
Eat the Path.
he knows how to stick it in, but not how to stick it out. eoe
\/\/7f?
Obligitory Flying circus reference: "My name is spelled 'Luxury Yacht' but it's pronounced 'Throat-wobbler Mangrove.'
Don Knotts Overdrive mmg
A: He spent the night in a warehouse. do
I'm leaning towards April Fools myself, but I don't see it being out of the realm of society. Literally on the bleeding edge of societle, evolution enough to have enough people talking behind your back sayng how much of a freak you are for naming your kid that. It's like my brother-in-law named his daughter Shao Lin. You know, like Kung Fu? Which I'd normally wouldn't bat an eye at except for the fact that he isn't Asian. His wife isn't Asian. The daughter isn't Asian.
Common, do your kid a favor and name him something other that just what you think is cool.
You need a FREE iPod Nano
-- Princess Diana, to a one-armed war veteran during a visit to a London veterans hospital iut
When I was a child, long long ago, the infant mortality rate was so high that my parents decided not to waste time giving their children names until they had reached their 18th birthday and had shown some chance of surviving.
But since they had to call us something, they decided to call by number of birth order. Since I was the first born, I got called Number One.
Now as my 18th birthday approached, Vietnam began to heat up, and since my draft number was high, my parents decided not take time to name me, just in case I got called up and send overseas and got killed, but they did agree to name me when I got out of the service.
Sure enough, I got called up, and spend the next six years out of country. So I didn't get a name until I was 25.
Thus I went into the Army as Number One. Of course, the Army had to abbreviate it. Do you know how depressing it is for six years to be called No. One, which rapidly got changed to "no one"?
18 Rabbit, Mayan ruler of Copan in Honduras beat you by about 1300 years.
Tom Lehrer, the Harvard Professor of Mathematics and Night Club Singer once claimed to have a friend named Hen3ry. "...the 3 was silent, you see."
This is not the sig line you're looking for... move along.
the other person. -Margaret Anderson vt
In his novel "The Demolished Man", some of the characters (mostly the telepaths) had names that would now be considered internet slang names...Samuel @kins and someone else who last name was Wyg&, just to name a couple. But he was always ahead of his time. Maybe it was it just me, but I saw some of his influence in Stephenson's "Snow Crash". Hiro Protagonist has got to be the best name for a main character ever...!
Introduce me to the little slut when she's legal ok? And keep the asshole away from me:)
-R. Clopton ww
cy
Rifraff.
To err is human. To arr is pirate.
Like VIRGINia WinterBOTTOM, resident of sCUNThorpe UK?
Jennifer 8. Lee? Why not?..........nobody seemed to mind 7 of 9. Wasn't there another famous "7" from another television show?
"There is only a one in six billion chance that you actually exist"
"I am reminded at this point of a fellow I used to know whose name was Henry, only to give you an idea of what a individualist he was, he spelled it H-E-N-3-R-Y. The three was silent, you see."
- Tom Lehrer, from "An Evening (Wasted) with Tom Lehrer, 1959
mr
This is a joke, right?
Don't be surprised when they realize you screwed up their name, change it, and they smack the hell out of you for it.
I can't believe someone would even seriously consider naming their kid based on an internet fad language.
name him D4r1 G4t3s |\/|cBride, and send him HERE
In America names cannot contain numbers, unless its something like Tom Smith IX.
Where I'm from there was this familly which had this convention of naming their child grrlz with gem names.
One of her was named Emeraude (emerald in english) it fits her perfectly, it turns out she is a beauty, trully, the girl is amongst the most beautifull grrl I've ever seen and she's as dumb as a rock. Emeraude isn't that bad if the girl is beautifull, it gives her an exotic touch but her sister was named Topaze (topaz in english, duh!) which is also the brand name of a car, it turns out I've never met her in person but it seems she isn't as beautifull as her sister. All of it combined made her some sort of hippy grrl, her name became a prison instead of a nice attribute. Names pretty much affects how people will be perceive and judged, its dumb but its a fact, they can marginalize someone pretty quickly, watch out. Its not because you are a marginal that your kid will want to be one, kids usually want to be different from their parents, his name might forbid him to and in the end he will hate you for it... if that's what you want...
The later pretty much guarantees the former.
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
the cows are known sluts. -- Johnny Carson eor
I would think it might be a little more acceptable and almost as unique/cool to use a symbol from another alphabet that has mathematical significance. I'm particularly fond of pi (spelled using the actual greek letter, of course). Another possibility would be aleph-naught (the cardinality of integers if I remember correctly). Names with weird letters and subscripts just seem cool somehow. It's also subversive because a lot of older government databases probably don't do greek or hebrew well.
`which fortune`
I can't even believe this is serious.
I agree with your wife whole-heartedly. There is much more to the world than your corner of it. Think about your kid for about 2 seconds, as opposed to how cool it would make YOU (in your own eyes, and a small percentage of the slashdot reading world). I shudder to think about your kid growing up, if you can't think about how this might impact his/her life for the worse. Grow up.
ps. I could give 2 shts about getting an ID to post this under. Anon and proud of the fact that I couldn't care less what my slashdot number might have been.
not hereditary. -Thomas Paine (contributed by Chris Johnston) au
Last Modified: Fri Sep 20 20:00:07 CDT 1996 by H. Chad Lane
:)
you should probably tell him to stop putting a . after the H if he doesn't want people to think it stands for something
I'd stay away from Br4d or Jan37. Anyone who's seen Rocky Horror would know why.
mas
-- Dorothy Parker nu
-Inscription on Columbus' caravels ur
but to go as far as it was possible to go. -Captain Cook, on his voyage to the Pacific in Endeavor oe
-Publius Cornelius Tacitus jq
Sorta OT: Where I grew up, an entire family changed their last name... seems the wife was a real estate agent, and didn't like the way her name looked on the signs. So the husband, wife and kids changed their name from Titmuss to Tyler. No kidding.
I'd have a personalized plate on my car, but "toxic bachelor" won't fit into 7 letters.
it's true. I have an uncommon enough name that when I do a google on my name in quotes, over half the results are actually about me. This has good and bad sides. For one thing, anyone who knows my name can find out a fair bit about me pretty fast. Fortunately nothing bad about me is really on the net, but who knows if it will stay that way.
On the other hand, I have a friend named John Smith who was arrested on pretty serious drug charges but managed to get off without a jail sentence. There are half a dozen articles on the internet that mention his name in this regard, but type John Smith into google and they're nowhere in the first thousand results.
lysergically yours
"My name is Aymie."
"Oh, A-M-Y?"
"No, A-Y-M-I-E."
"Oh. My name is Brian. B-R-I-V-O-L-B-N the number seven the letter Q!"
Yes, Its final. This slashdot april fool's day is once again proving that being computer literate doesn't make you less guillible.
I'd be justifyed in murdering these people... yeah? these aren't the sort that should have children.... april fools joke then?
-You're wasting your time. Alfador only likes me.
Was's 7 the name of a character on "Married...With Children in the later years"? I think George on "Seinfeld" also wanted to name any future offspring "7". I don't think the characters or the writers of the show had computer-hacker speak in mind, tho.
Just name your kid kick-my-ass-please or i-am-faggot. Same thing, except kick-my-ass-please can use is own name on the SAT, Br4d will have an automatic 400 point deduction because there is no '4'.
I am the new Number 2.
Who is Number 1?
You are, Number 6.
I am not a number! I am a free man!
*Laughter*
On this day, New York City hotel detectives burst in and caught then Senator Warren G. Harding in bed with an underage girl. He bought them off with a $20 bribe, and later remarked thankfully, "I thought I wouldn't get out of that under $1000!" Always one to learn from his mistakes, in later years President Harding carried on his affairs in a tiny closet in the White House Cabinet Room while Secret Service men stood lookout. tn
except one thing: Madness. A Man nees a little madness or else... he never dares cut the rope, and be free. -Zorba the Greek (contributed by Randall Joiner) vg
This is your child, not your new toy or pet. Why should she have to go through life branded with a weird name because of your obsessions. How would you like to have been called 'Caboose Williamson' because of your dad's fondness for model trains? What if your mom was really into amateur radio and decided to christen you 'Frequency Modulation Jones'?
This name is a gift you are giving to your child. Try to give her something she might want.
m.m.
- you'll hit a commercial. -Boob Tube Truism gpf
Looks like Sally Atkins had this idea as well...
Domain Name: KINS.COM
Administrative Contact:
T, SA (30093608I) sally@kins.com
Her cunt is so dreadfully bent, The poor wench doth stammer, "I need a sledgehammer To pound a man into my vent." qa
Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys; they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" okv
by the weight of their own sadness. They wait for a chance to set the wrong things right. Only then can they be reunited with the ones they love. Sometimes, a crow shows them the way; because sometimes, love is stronger than death. -"The Crow, City of Angels" fmf
The practice in Roman families came from naming sons in the order of their birth. Japanese samurai families would also adopt a convention of naming children based on the order of their births.
Some common names from Kate Monk's Onomastikon:
1st Son -- Ichiro (mod.-ichi or -kazu suffix)
2nd Son -- Jiro, Chojiro (ji suffix)
3rd Son -- Saburo, Kanzaburo (zo suffix 3rd son)
4th Son -- Shiro, Heishiro
5th Son -- Goro, Daigoro
Note the common elements of each name. Ichi, ji, sabu, shi, go. These correspond to certain (in some cases uncommonly used) pronunciations of 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, respectively. The -ro suffix means "son" and acts as a counting suffix for counting off sons. -Zabu- is just an inflected pronunciation of -sabu-. Many of these names also have homonyms where different kanji characters are used that have different meaning, but these are merely clever plays on the numbered system and were still reserved for children of appropriate birth.
If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
any handicap or the soreness or all the aches and pains, and continue to play for a long, long time. -Gordie Howe ql
It's worked out fine though most formal records just exclude it.
I wonder if unusual, yet legal, names are able to monkeywrench the system. Presumably most database systems go through periodic cleaning and junk some records based upon some heuristic for what a name "is", and if your name doesn't match those, it gets dumped.
Which could be great or could be a pain in the ass when your account gets suspended, passport invalidated or some other thing you'd rather not get junked gets junked.
convict you? kbu
1f y0u n4me h3|~ J4n37 5h3`11 ju57 3nd up 5h0\/\/1n9 h3|~ 8|~3457 0n 7\/.
-- @rjamestaylor on Ello
I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you are dead? Nobody. -J.D. Salinger lc
"I am reminded at this point of a fellow I used to know who's name was Henry, only to give you an idea of what an individualist he was he spelt it Hen3ry. The 3 was silent, you see." - humorist Tom Lehrer, 1960ish
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
-Jeanne Beskrone ngz
I know a girl named Jul3ia. Her name was Julia, but they misprinted it on her student I.D. So she legally got it changed to Jul3ia. She recently came out with a CD, "The 3 is Silent"
hk
This is one of those situations where you should listen to your wife and not burden your child with the costs of going to court to change their name later.
Seriously.
Of course, it is April 1st so (hopefully) you are joking.
Damn you, Chr4is Wang-Iverson! It's all your fault!
A friend of my sister had twins and (no joke) named them Orangello and Lemongello (Orange jello and Lemon jello, get it?). They are of school age now, and their names are practially urban legends, but as far as I've heard havent had any problems because of their names.
Hah... you know I almost wrote a long rant about how stupid this idea was before I realized that today was April 1st. Good one. But I do know someone who named their kid "J-Sin".... I'm not sure which would be worse. I would immagine that "J-Sin" will have a great case for a law suit for the pain and suffering he will have to endure until he turns 18 and has his name changed.
Some guy working for Microsoft is named M3 Sweatt
If you are not 12 years old, you are certainly a misfit.
Doesn't April Fools end at Noon, or is that just a Canadian thing? This post is at 12:30 so I take this to be a legitimate idiot wanting to ruin his kids life forever ;)
You create your own reality - Leave mine to me.
Frank Zappa named his son Dweezil and his daughter Moon Unit - not exactly l3375p34k, but maybe pHr34kp534k
by Chris Johnston) thx
xe
Shirley Temple of Doom lpj
-Crazy Jimmy ly
Yes!
I'm pretty sure that, in New Jersey at least, you can't have profanity or digits in your legal name. Now teaching your kid to spell their name that way would be a completely different story...
we have 3 mr. andersons in my company. matrix jokes aplenty :)
perl -e '$_="\007/4`\cp%2,".chr(127);s/./"\"\\c$&\""/gees
...since your resume doesn't mention it. Or is that because you realize that any potential employer would recognize you for the loon that you are?
No idea what ur talkin' 'bout?
Rocket science is easy. Neurosurgery, now *that's* difficult.
_Snow_Crash_, of course, has DaVid. What an annoying name to read!
My old boss named his son Linux. This was about 5 years ago.
You do realize you are asking slashdotters a question that involves (in most cases) actual cross gender contact. ;->
I hate my sig.
There was a guy from another regional high school who ran Cross Country against our team in Indianapolis whose name was "Peter Wacker." I believe he went to Lawrence North or Lawrence Central HS. I saw him again later writing a column for a college newspaper that a friend showed me.
Incidentally, we also had a Richard Hair on our basketball team at Ben Davis HS.
Also, there are a pair of tombstones down towards Greenwood, IN, for a deceased couple named Earlie and Ada Boner. Yes, both of them. The cemetery is just off the west side of 31-- I can't remember the cross street.
ivl
The ultimate name for a smart kid: Marshall Brain
Oh baby, baby...
hate titty pee colon slash slash
We are expecting a child in october and I am trying to convince my wife to name it "Princess 247" if it's a girl and "Hot_Wheels 180" if it's a boy.
Her most convincing arguments have to do with the standardized testing that is going on in the schools now. Unless I can show her a bubble sheet with numbers for the middle initial or an underscore for the first name they are out of consideration. (I releneted on the colouring of the names as well, since I was going to make the "Hot" red and the "Wheels" a dark rubber grey but there's a chance the boy may be colour blind).
Dose anyone work for the ITBS tests or the CAT tests and can upgrade the bubble sheets for this? It doesn't have to be immediate, Since it is at least 5-7 years away until they will test I think that if I can show they will be there by then I can make her budge. That will show her to make comprimizes that aren't!
--Shemnon
hung, castrated and dipped in acid to prevent you from every possible reproducing.
Give boys Manly names and girls Girly names!
Or are you not a Tom Lehrer fan?
sticktion mgf
our mouths with Teflon. -Hill's Crollary of Alimentation ao
Anyone retarded enough to name their kid in l3375p34k lacks the genes that would make higher learning a possibility anyhow.
And the likely ability to reproduce in the first place, as well.
Comparing it to Windows will be a moot point, since El Dorado is going to have a 40% larger code base than XP.
-Stevie Wonder ayk
Al Gore
No, really! 1337 and old school at the same time!
-Lowell ee
try shithead, but pronounce it sha theed or something like that, that should make sure your kid is as messed up as he would be if you use leet speak.
There are countries that Police the namespace used for their newborns. They don't allow eccentric parents to give their kids eccentric names. But giving your kid a weird name doesn't guarantee they will grow up to be weird.
Frank Zappa gave his kids Moon Unit and Dweezil weird names. Did they grow up to be weird failures because of their names?
I don't know. But I bet there are moments when they wonder, "what was dad thinking?"
I met a guy who changed his name to "1047" and he was called "10" (one-zero) for short. A friend of mine knew him a bit better than I did, and told me that the name on his checks was truly 1047.
Not that this guy is a model for emulation. I think the first time my buddy met this guy he stepped into my friend's shop wearing his pajamas and pushing along a walker....he was fairly elderly at the time....he was also in the VA Hospital (maybe for mental problems???) just out for a stroll.
"Pr337y L4m3 M1lh0u53" :p
From her fanny there grew a plum tree. No one ate the nice fruit, To tell you the truth, Because they knew it came from her tooty-toot-toot. sqp
at the 'downloading' light on your modem will cause the transfer to hang. -Jason Q. gl
or anxiety. -W. H. Auden ice
a drowning person holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you in his panic. -Anais Nin io
c'mon! these are children...who have to live with your stupid-ass geeky ideas for LIFE! you people HAVE to be joking. Why not name her 3r1n and surgically attach vulcan ears at birth. Certainly when she's 17 and can't find a date to the prom she'll understand that her dad was only doing what was best for himself and his own amusement. you people are scary.
(1) Women don't know what they want; they don't like what they have got. (2) Men know very well what they want; having got it, they begin to lose interest. bdo
What a tard! Doesnt this idiot realize that 'l33t sp34k' is for total tools?
His kid would be getting the shit kicked out of him on a daily basis.
Primus, Secundus, Tertius, ... Septimus, Octavia...
Maybe you could put the Roman numbering system to good use and call your child Brivd.
Flourescent (adj): smelling like ground wheat.
Yes, I like the name....
http://www.isolvesystems.com - Technology Marketplace
I'm sure Sally's just going to love the spam she gets from this post.
Good job!
opposite of "Congress." bm
Tom Lehrer mentioned a friend in one of his tracks that was named Henry, spelled Hen3ry. He said that the 3 was silent. He made this legendary statement back in 1958, slightly ahead of his time...
I'm going to name MY first born son "|<1|< /\/\41 633|< 4$$!"
If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
change your own frking name you perv! don't do a disservice to your child. you sound like the hippies who named their kids stuff like 'twinkle bear' and dancing fawn.
I always thought "Sparc" was a cool name.
but it would be best as a middle name.
When the kid decides to become some sort of actor, scientist, or rock star, he could abbreviate his name to V.Sparc or G.Sparc..
somehow naming your kid after a Microcontroller might be interesting... maybe HC11 or something.
555... 1541 (C-64 5.25" drive)...
hell, "one" is a pretty cool name too.
We made the mistake of naming our first born using a conventional name with Russian spelling and a Hungaryian middle name (Aleksandr Bedo) thinking we liked the spelling and were honoring my grandfather. He will now be subject to scrutiny every time he gains the governments attention (applying for drivers license, going through airport security, etc.) My advice, don't be a dumbass, pick a normal name and use crappy spelling where its supposed to be used - variable names and code comments.
Maybe the computer does that automatically to one-letter first names.
I've got more mod points and GMail invi
I've got a black and white cat named Adam 12. Strangely, very few people seem to understand the name. Am I just too old?
Our secretary had called one of our realtors and told them some people were here to see houses. After 20 minutes and he hadn't come in the office, she called him thinking he had caught on, but it turned out he had washed his car. He came in all spruced up, and there she was with a grin and an "April Fool's!"
:D Office still hasn't stopped laughing over it.
So, later that morning I used Administrative Tools in Windows XP to connect to her computer and send a console message that said the following:
Critical error (0xCE50): The temperature of your motherboard has reached critical levels. Disconnect your computer from any universal power supplies (UPS) or RAID arrays. It is possible permanent damage has occured. Contact your system administrator or consult your documentation for more information. Visit www.microsoft.com for information on Windows XP temperature management conditions.
I changed my computer name to "SYSADMIN" and sent the message. I hear an "uh-oh" come from the other room.
She calls me over, I look real confused, utter "I've never seen that before," etc. "Should I shut it down?" she asks. I tell her, "let me look" and walk off toward my computer.
She starts shutting down her applications...until a new message box pops up saying "April Fool's!"
I hear "you BUTTHEAD!" It was great.
I consider April Fool's jokes to be jokes you actually fall for, not this lame crap michael is posting where we're supposed to be laughing at it because it's so stupid. Remember in the past when the point of Slashdot April Fool's Day was to figure out which stories were real and which were fake? Some of those most absurd stories posted turned out to be true. I miss it.
Tom Lehere talked about a guy named Hen3ry.
Hen3ry spelled his name that way because he was such an individualist.
-- -- Warning. Do not stare directly at the sun.
Smoking herbs and flowers, Shooting up my veins, De-dum, De-dum, De-dum Tell you, I've been a-thinkin' I could drive a shiny Lincoln, If I dealt in good cocaine. -- To If I Only Had A Brain from "The Wizard of Oz" uo
"asshole!"
or J4n37
"slut!"
That should be reason enough to pick a different name, now go do.
7 November 2006: The day Americans realized corruption and incompetence weren't addressing 11 September 2001
Two examples:
There's DJ Delorie, of "DJGPP" fame (where the "DJ" is not an abbreviation, there are no periods, it's just, well, "DJ". See www.delorie.com for details.), and there's also a guy (whose original name I can't remember) who legally changed his name to "DO-While Jones" back in the early eighties: http://www.ridgenet.net/~do_while/
I saw a story about 2 boys named winner and loser. Of the 2 loser was a decorated police officer, And Winner was spending a lot of his time in jail. The parents named winner because the husband favourite baseball team won when the baby was born. They named loser because one of the kids said we allready have a winner why not name him loser. They both said growing up it didnt matter that they had strange names.
http://www.wickedtoast.com
It's a CHILD for Christ's sake. Name it a normal name. Save the geek names for a pet or something like that. "Geekness" should only go so far, my friend, and I think the line should be drawn for your child. Would you really do that to a kid?!
I'm shocked at the cultural depravity that would allow the entire thread to miss this one.
Johnny Cash - A Boy Named Sue
I'd quote the lyrics, but you really have to hear this one to get the point. If you haven't already heard it, go look this one up.
And l4m3 April Fool's joke or not, if you name your kid P4u1, he will get his ass kicked once or a thousand times.
I don't know if anyone has posted one of these (so many posts!) but there have been two guys at my university over the last four years named "Loong Kwok" One's in my chinese class this semester.
Error 404 - Sig Not Found
In fact, I thought of changing my legal name to r1c3_bu|2n3rz_suc|< (the < is supposed to be literally written out, NOT to appear as a less-than symbol).
The only thing I haven't figured out yet is where the underscores go when placing my last name first, would it read: _suc|<, r1c3_ b, or would it read suc|<, r1c3 _b_, or what? There ain't no capitals either.
And, no, this is NOT April Fools. This is extremely serious. I am GOING to do this.
And my first child will be named 1337. And my second child will be named h4x0rz. So when I yell "1337 h4x0rz!" they'll come running from their computers.
"Prince Michael" might not be old enough to care right now, but once he's a young adult, do you think he's really going to appreciate the amount of consideration is self-obsessed ass-wipe of a father gave his name?
No more than Prince Rogers Nelson.
Yeah, uh, Frank Zappa beat y'all to this back in the seventies. For those who don't know, the legal names of his four kids are:
Dweezel, Ahmed (two sons), Diva, and Moon Unit (two daughers).
I didn't see a single one of you recommend the name CowboyNeal...
It seems that database designers who don't allow names following the pattern of three initials and a surname have probably never read anything by J.R.R. Tolkien.
A girl that worked in a bar near where I used to live had the name Sei. (pronounced say)
I asked her one time and she told me that it is the number six in the Basque language. Her parents were Basque and since she was the sixth child born they had named her six.
I thought that it was a cool name at the time (she was a doll) but thinking back on it twelve years later she had a pretty poor self image.
She was always involved with the "wrong" guy and was not a happy person, living hand to mouth waiting tables in a bar with no real plans or hopes for the future. The sad thing is that she was pretty, quite smart, and very kind hearted. She could/should have gone far.
I can't say that her name was the cause but the idea that your parents don't care enough to give you a name but just call you number 6 couldn't have helped.
Every wrong attempt discarded is a step forward - T. Edison
You can still give a child an interesting name, and indeed for some individuals, it can be a bonus. I have a very unusual name thanks to my parents (not printed on Slashdot for obvious reasons), and in the context of my own personality, it has suited me well.
The trick: Give them a boring first name and then have your parental fun with the middle name:
i.e. Jason H4rdc0re Richardson
As a young kid, there's no need for Jason to know what's on his birth certificate. But when he gets to be a teenager, he may enjoy being able to introduce himself, in all honesty, as someone whose name is 'H4rdc0re' to any new friends he makes.
But if he turns out to be a more traditional sort, no-one ever has to know him as anything other than Jason H. Richardson, or even just Jason Richardson.
There are all kinds of possibilities.
Annie Aphrodite Smith (a.k.a. Annie A. Smith)
Jerem E4zyrider Morgan (a.k.a. Jerem E. Morgan)
and on and on.
STOP . AMERICA . NOW
Richard Strokirch
Richard Harden
If you stayed after school, once in a while you'd hear them say something like "Dick Stroker, you have a call in the front office...Dick Stroker, a call in the office."
Not as much as other languages, but ...
we have it
3rd person singular pronoun.
He / She.
Bill Lear's daughter?
Bill Lear was the creator of the Learjet (and also happens to be the inventor of the Eight-track. No, really, look it up.) He was a sadistic mofo. He named his daughter Shanda.
Yes, that's right. Her name is Shanda Lear. (Read it out loud. Faster. There you go.)
Now I hope this poster is playing a sick April Fools joke. But if not, then I will hunt you down and take a big fat LART to you. Giving your progeny a goofy name is one thing, but marking them with such a 'leet' name will scar them for life.
(Please, for the love of Cthulhu, may this be a joke.)
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
Thank God, we were all on pins and needles waiting to see which way you would go on this.
I call troll - noone on earth can possibly consider "L33T speak" (however you spell it) to be anything but pathetic and weak.
I suppose if you want to have a script kiddie for a kid, maybe this works. Don't be surprised though when the kid gets to be about 15 and kills you in your sleep.
Here is an Apple Employee named "Bo3B" I guess you pronounce it "Bob", but I couldn't be sure.
Yes! Mod the parent up! He is very right!
Embrace the persona of "DAD". I wish my parents had...
J05H
gigantino.tv - Heavy but weighs nothing.
Here's a news clipping (albiet a blooper):
Cumming woman dies in Buford Dam Road Accident
Kids don't have a hard enough time these days, so why not make sure, as a parent, that life will be as hard as possible on them. Name them "FVCK YOU" or something. Yeah, great plan. Maybe this is an April Fools joke, but quite honestly, it just sounds like you're an idiot who shouldn't reproduce.
the first one was useless. -- Nicolas Chamfort fe
fo
-Mme De Sevigne, 1626-1696 ek
A famous Texan Ima Hogg. No foolin'.
-Texas Guinan tj
too much spam. We'd like to wander aimlessly around your house discussing vivid images of what should be done to spammers, their families and casual acquaintences, and make veiled threats as to the future of your limbs (attached or not), animals and the insertion of farming implements into your orifices. -Chris "Saundo" Saunderson ry
There is a young women in Columbus, Ohio, USA, whose father named her "Trillion" but put 10^12 on her birth certificate.
to die the day we're born. -Gary Mark Gilmore ya
to ourselves. -John Buchan (contributed by Nathan Poznick) nag
too swift, and not perceiving that its period is sufficient. But good memory wherewith nature has endowed us causes everything long past to seem present. -Leonardo Da Vinci oyl
and goes to Monte Carlo to try to recoup at the roulette tables. Won a little, lost a lot, and was down to his last franc. Prayed for help. A voice whispered in his ear: "Le rouge..." Man looked around; nobody there. What the hell -- he puts his last franc on the red, and it won. The voice immediately said, "Encore le rouge..." Played red again, and it won again. The voice said, "Impair..." Played odd, and it won. Voice said, "Quinze..." so he put all the money on 15, and it won. This went on for hours, the voice telling him what to bet, and the man putting all his money on what the voice said, and winning. Finally when the voice spoke, the man protested that he'd won millions of dollars and wanted to quit. The voice was inexorable: "Douze..." The man put the money on 12, and 11 came up -- he had lost everything -- the voice murmured "Merde!!" vp
Anyone retarded enough to name their kid in l3375p34k lacks the genes that would make higher learning a possibility anyhow.
I disagree. They will probably raise the kids w/o social skills, very introverted, etc. but it won't take away possibility of higher learning. A lot of introverted/shy kids are actually well educated since they compensate their lack of social life with learning.
The purpose of life is to find the purpose of life.
1. L337 speak was never cool then, and it still isn't now. We make fun of you behind your back and to your face all the time. 2. You really want to paint a giant target for abuse on your child so you can be cute? My, what a thoughtful, careing person you must be. Have you considered getting a vasectomy?
ability to give that attention to a subject which keeps it steadily in the mind, till we have surveyed it accurately on all sides. -Theodor Reik vkk
three for society. -Henry David Thoreau jn
see the magic therein, and sometimes I just want to pry open the atoms and know why they spin. -Glen Sutton cn
i sorta think childhood is hard enough without having a weird name (which i do - and it sucks) - but having said that, encourage your child to choose their own nick-name, something that means something special to him/her rather than just to you. that way it reflects their creativity rather than yours. otherwise, whether you intended to or not you just end up making a joke out of your kid. i still resent my parents for naming me what they did. an no, i'm not sharing my name.
i7'5 @570UnDiNg;
7Im3 iz Fl337iNg;
m@dN355 7@K35 i75 70lL.
Bu7 lI573N Cl053lY...
N07 fOr V3Ry much L0Ng3r.
i'V3 G07 70 k33P c0n7r0l.
"Win treats sysadmins better than users. Mac treats users better than sysadmins. Linux treats everyone like sysadmins."
uf
Alcoholocaust am
the careless contortionist who accidentally swallowed his pride? sd
something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age. -Ralph Waldo Emerson nni
Whose body was covered with hair. It was really quite fun To probe with one's gun, For her quimmy might be anywhere. sdi
Admit it, you aren't looking for the non-porn person. You, like me just get pissed when you are searching for a pornstar with Google's image search and the screen gets cluttered with non-nude women. It's harder to find a Pronstar that only uses one name which is why it may be more lucrative in the future for pornstars to use two or even three part names ( Sara Jane Hamilton vs Missy, or Lovette ). They are usually swampped by real people with that first name in the first few pages of Google search results. Pronstars that use a fake first and last name are much easier to find. You get at least 3 times more relevant hits usually.
sb
====---====
Together, we will drive the rats from the tundra.
-Albert Einstein xs
-Robert A. Heinlein (contributed by Nathan Poznick) tm
sex and gender are not verifyable.
I knew a person with DNA of XXY (that's right TWO X and ONE Y)
even had both types of parts
make Linux, not Microsoft. sin(beast) = -0.809016994374947424102293417182819
consciencious stupidity. -Martin Luther King, Jr. zi
to work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by loving. -St. Francis De Sales jbs
interested in the basic nature of humor. "What kind of a sick perverted disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make jokes about setting fire to a goat?" ...
-- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"
fb
furniture! -Sherlock Holmes igu
should conceal it as well as she can. -Jane Austen cga
(to the tune of Copacabana) Her name was Lola, she was a bimbo, with yellow streamers in her hair, She wore see-through underwear, she'd go to discos, and do the go-go, And while she tried to be star, Tony jacked off on the bar, And when the dance was done, his hand was full of come, His favorite drink is cream in coffee, Won't you order one? At the Copa, Copa-ulation ...
Her name was Lola, she was a show-girl,
But that was thirty years ago, when she still could slurp and blow,
Now she's a sado, but not for Tony, still in her chains and leather gown,
She ties Rico to the ground, and fucks that boy half-blind,
But Rico, he don't mind, there are whips and a lot of beatings,
But a real good time ...
yn
amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's grandmother. -- Len Cool, "American Pie" hhf
that says it all. if dweezil can make it this far, your kids will be fine.
You didn't happen to go to UCLA starting the fall of 99, did you?
Hollow words will burn and hollow men will burn.
the San Franciscan who backed off the bus because he thought someone would grab his seat? lz
why use just numbers? Besides you know they are gonna need counciling anyway after that
make Linux, not Microsoft. sin(beast) = -0.809016994374947424102293417182819
Truth be told, I worked with someone named Ozark! (and when I asked him about the "bang", he said that it was actually on his birth cert). So, while it's not necessarily 1337, it is a name with extended characters. You'd think with kids named Starflower or River in the hippie days that Li5a and B4r7 shouldn't be too far behind.
Last note: I've started considering how a name will be abbreviated for emails - my friend "slitt@somedomain..." didn't appreciate his parents lack of foresight on that issue.
-- In Soviet Russia, radio listens to YOU!
Naming your child something "cute" or a "joke" or "l33t" is simple narcissism. It shows you are more interested in pleasing yourself than in considering your child's future experience. The fact that you asked the question shows you have SOME concern for your child, but that you asked it here shows you are hoping for people to validate what you want to do. If you think it would be cool to have a l33t name, change your own.
I have a weird name and I grew up HATING it. And as an adult woman I'm still not that psyched to have a masculine name. My parents gave me this name to please themselves, not me.
Barclay
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh mb
I know a guy whose last name is "Vanden Hoven", with a space. His department of electronics account (FirstnameLastname) at university would never work, so he'd always have to use his partner's.
Personally I have an uppercase in the middle of my last name, MacLeod, and that often gets filtered to lowercase, especially if an entry form is ALL CAPS and there's no real way to represent it.
Our Fa1her, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
J33bus, may all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
4m3n
Aych tea tea pea colon slash slash slash dot dot org slash
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest. afa
There's a place in Yellow Springs, Ohio, called Ha Ha's Whole Wheat Pizza which used to answer the phone "Hello Ha Ha"...
- "History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of men" -- Blue Oyster Cult, 'Godzilla'
them to the nearest laundromat to learn about quantum mechanics. They might get lucky, but they're more likely to return as members of a new church. -Vernon Schryver (contributed by Nathan Poznick) mm
desires, a self consciousness was born. I desired to know to know myself in terms of the new standards set by these books. -Peter Abrahams bda
"This must be our final adieu, For the vicar is slicker, And thicker, and quicker, And two inches longer than you." yc
ATM cell has no roaming feature turned on, notebooks can't connect zal
exhausted all other alternatives. -Abba Eban xz
vpo
"I'd drag my dick a mile over broken glass just to masturbate in her shadow!" od
How does this "bubble in" thing work?
Surely any place where you enter your name would be a free-format text field rather than a series of 26 answer multiple-choice questions.
(...and yes I have never seen an SAT).
George Costanza on Seinfeld was an early adopter, wanting to name his child "7". Unfortunately their friends stole it and George was upset.
Yeah, it's all about me. Apparently, I'm the only "Mick Michalski" on earth. Big supprise.
"That's so plausible, I can't believe it!" - Leela
Ditto
want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will. -Clint Eastwood (contributed by Chris Johnston) dty
know why I'll do it again. -Bart Simpson (contributed by Chris Johnston) ki
I'd have to say this is one of the most retarded things I've ever come across on the Internet.
My lack of God, it's Trotsky!
to worry. do
I once played golf with an older Asian gentleman who introduced himself as "Harry Wang". I'm not kidding.
--If 50,000 people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
I told my brother he had to name one of his kids monkey, then I'll be a monkey's uncle.
Linux: The world's best text-adventure game.
Name your kid 'whatever whatever without prejudice' and make sure to put it on the birth cert...
... but then again if you dont feel like fighting legal battles the rest of your life.........
that way he wont be a person (from greek for actor) but a natural freeman (big distinction in legal terms) =P... avoid those pesky taxes and government control down the line...
than in any truth that is taught in life. -Schiller fl
ca
no other talent. tlz
Was renowned for her fine paroxysm. While the man detumesced She still spent on with zest, Her rapture sheer anachronism. gx
it is merely a form of emotional masturbation. It is the rarest thing to find a player who has not had his character affected for the worse by the practice of his profession. Nobody can make a habit of self-exhibition, nobody can exploit his personality for the sake of exercising a kind of hypnotic power over others, and remain untouched by the process. -Aldous Huxley xa
A fellow Rhode Island native, Love 22, had his name legally changed a number of decades ago. He has a web site at http://www.love22.com/, although I haven't visited it lately.
...
Love 22 is a colorful character and challenged the courts numerous times, going back to changing his name from Lawrence Wagner to Love 22 to printing his own series of 22 dollar bills. Put into perspective, he did this in RI during a time of freedom and change. In our hometown there was shopping center, Garden City, that had a large unused parking lot away from any stores. In their infinite wisdom, the city decided it would be a good thing to allow teenagers to congregate there in their cars. Needless to say, it turned into a large open air drug bazaar. Not that I ever went there myself looking for dope (all varieties, from panama red to "thai sticks" to acid to PCP to you name it). And not that I knew half of the people there. Urban legend, folks.
Anyway, Larry changed his name to Love 22 and lived in a red white and blue school bus and dressed like Uncle Sam. He also printed up those 22 dollar bills. Occassionaly the Providence Journal would run an article about how some judge in Maine or a foreign country accepted a 22 dollar bill for a fine. Love 22 also hung out regulary at the quadrangle at URI on Fridays at 12:00 for what was called High Noon. We would all light up in public. I mean everyone else would, urban legend, remember. Again, this was the late 70's at URI and everyone thought dope would become legalized, since we all knew everyone smoked it. How naieve we were.
Eventually Love 22 moved to Key West and became the official greeter. He still prints and sells 22 dollar bills. He doesn't rmeember me, since I was just one of a number of regulars who used to hang with him and get him stoned (u duh, no wonder he doesn't remember me!), but my memories of Love 22 are nothing but full of fondness. I do love him and consider him a old friend.
So yes, you can have any name you want as long as it isn't offensive. And yes, it's been done before - long before. Just like HTML in the 90's being touted in the press as the newest neatest thing until the old school mainframe-weaned folk looked at it and said "Sheit, it ain't new. It's SGML for cripes sake!" Hey, pass that bone this way
Ed F
My user name was a mistake. Input wasn't restricted, my bad.
There is always Da5id (da-five-id) from SnowCrash.
Saturday and is going to do on Monday. -Thomas Ybarra gbc
It may sound neat, but think of what the kid will have to go through in his/her childhood. It'd be really tough on them to have a name spelled in "1337," and would probably end up causing undue emotional trauma.
I saw on the news a few weeks ago where some guy named his son something like John Smith 2.0 instead of John Smith, Jr.
-American Indian Proverb kii
-- Thomas Jefferson dbn
-- In Soviet Russia, radio listens to YOU!
I went to school with a Jeni4 Jones. See here. I don't think it was her given name. But rumor was that it was legally changed.
ntl
If you want to provide you child with the lifelong burden of explaining his/her name to every bureaucrat encountered in his lifetime then do it.
You'd really have to do it for your own ego/reasons, because that type of name is no benefit to a child, it will merely be a lifelong handicap.
If you want to give your child some type of disadvantage that he won't even understand the implications of, then it's perfect.
If you want to burden a child like this, for your amusement, it's stupid.
It's reciprocity man. us
The Vast Void of Empty Nothingness fnh
My name is really 666. In you write it in Swedish it is sex-sex-sex.
Its a bit annoying when someone asks your name.
Just tell people to call you... Betty.
The only reason we have the rights we have is that people just like us died to gain those rights. -- Cheerio Boy
truth or the only truth. -Charles A. Dana dmk
same differece...
subject. (contributed by Chris Johnston) pgw
I work with a woman named Nine. She said her mother got tired of thinking up names after the eigth kid.
"1337" speak is not about being different, geeky, or cool; it's just dumb. It's not even it's own language, which might acutally be cool, but simply a butchered version of the English language. Anyone who uses "1337" speak isn't being creative, cool, or even funny. They're just being a moron. Go back to English 101, jackass, because apparently you didn't go to college, or even elementery school for that matter. Grow up.
He is one of my employees at Onion Networks and is an insanely talented developer. His web site is at http://ry4an.org/unblog/
Hopefully he'll get on this thread and respond with his experiences.
Holy Christ, that was funny. You have my admiration. Nicely done.
... there's no way he'll get is ass kicked in school.
Seriously, are you retarded?
If you name your kid with l337-speak, you're a fucktard for damaging them for live. Grow up and face reality
you're going to make your kid a noob right out of the box, i mean uterus.
You are the misfit. And, with kids named "Brad" and "Janet", your family problems will be astronomical.
--
make install -not war
We do business with a man named Dick Flicker. His name is broadcasted over the PA at least once a month. "Jacob. Dick Flicker on line one. Jacob. Line one." An older man apparently so I can see how that happened.
people like this should not be allowed to have kids...
FreeBSD Addicts
Link is from Zelda, Neo is from the Matrix. Although people will say "Neil?" and I reply "No, Neo N E O" after that their names are seldom forgotten, which was what I was going for.
How about Mann, or Name (Nah-Mee)?...
I'm sure if you include numbers in the name that they'll be doomed to a life of people messing stuff up for them. Everytime they fill out an application for anyting, it'll likely get incorrectly edited, or prompt questions anyhow. and I'm sure somewhere lies a form validator that'll reject numbers in the name field.
I like the idea, but don't think it'd be worth the hassle later in life.
"The Most Fun Possible on 4 wheels" is at SunBuggy in Las Vegas
20-some years ago I met a man called III, pronounced "three", in San Francisco. Later I read he'd been unsuccessful in a court case in which he tried to establish that that was his name. The reason he lost was that the Social Security Administration claimed that their database could only handle names of the form: Forename Initial Surname, all of which had to be alphabetic.
III was a computer scientist and knew that this was a shoddy excuse for crap software, but he did not succeed in persuading the court.
a bowl of Wheaties. -- Richard Pryor fa
I actually knew a guy whose name was Steve Seven. I asked him how he got his name. Apparently he grew up on an orphanage. They kept things straight by giving the kids that didn't have last names a number. As far as I know, he was never formally adopted, so his last name was never changed. He was Stephen #7, or Steve Seven.
I suggested he change his name to Oliver O. Seven. He'd heard that one before....
*** *** You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me... ***
I think before a child gets a SSN he/she should be allowed to choose their own name. Afterall, your name says nothing about you except who your parents and ancestors were. The name you give your child is really irrelevent to them.
I know a guy named SK8. He didn't 'legally' change his name to that like 'Prince' or 'Sting' but everyone calls him SK8, even his mom. I think the 'l337' stuff is a bit extreme, unless you really want your child to get beat up a lot in public school.
svm
bbg
die. (contributed by Frank v Waveren) iv
cause children. lq
....You're really married?
Speaking of people named Moron, go to Switchboard and do a search on different words for last name.
LOTS of freaks in this world, and hundreds of people named Moron.
No kiddin'. Check it out. Hours of fun.
RS
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
> I laugh every time I hear the name Dick Trickle, how messed up were that guys parents.
Why do you think his parents were messed up? He's an adult, and it's reasonable to assume his full first name is Richard, so why does he allow himself to be called Dick Trickle when Rick Trickle or Rich Trickle would be more innocuous? By this time, it's his own damn fault if he doesn't like it.
Virg
People who want to name their first-born child, Br4d or J4n37, watch too much Rocky Horror, hang out on chat lines and shoudn't have children. I bet your wife leaves you.
At least make it something appropriate like 14/\/\3
I talk about stuff.
At Apple a few years back there was a guy
named Bo3b with a silent 3 in it. Thus Bob.
No I'm not kidding.
If you want to subject your child to years of ridicule, embarassment and humiliation by other kids - not only for your kid's name but for having a parent who was such a dumbass giving them that name.
Kids can be extremely cruel and heartless...
they will think that you're a dumbass (or worse) and they will let your kids know it.
Your wife has a whole Hell of a lot more common sense than you do.
Your kid will never forgive you and your wife better not let you talk her in to it.
This had better be some pretty demented and twisted April Fool's Day joke.
-- Two in the pink, one in the sink.
I plan on naming my kid W.O.P.E.R. Thats with ONE P. :p
There is no "Fresno University".
There's CSU Fresno (aka "Fresno State"), and Fresno Pacific.
Either way, "fu.edu" goes to Finlandia University.
There were a few characters on the Peanuts comic that were named just numbers. You only ever saw "6" (little boy, friend of Linus), but his older siblings were 1-5.
"Sometimes the only thing left to say is 'Oops'" -- debbers
I know someone (first hand -- not "heard of someone" blah blah blah) who's name is actually 10^12. On the birth certificate just like that. Trillion.
Laws probably vary by state -- but it *is* apparently illegal for her name to be that in the state she lives in. She's been having trouble getting a driver's license.
Maybe your kid won't be a misfit, but he's going to know his dad was a loser.
My high school physics teacher's Name was Shirly A. Mann, she married into it but she had the nerve to name her daughter Anita
Really. Only it's a Roman numeral, and it's at the end, because the firstborn males in my family going back for a few generations have had the same first, middle, and last names disambiguated only by Jr., III, IV, etc.
Nothing leet about that, in fact it seems rather medieval and I really hope that if/when I have kids my firstborn is a female and I can dodge the issue. Don't want to start looking like we're incubating an English monarchy or something.
It does make for occasional, mildly amusing mistakes when computers don't know how to deal with it, though. For example, I've gone up to ATMs and had them display "Hello, Mr. Iv!", apparently not realizing that the IV is a suffix and not my actual last name. Sometimes it just gets appended so I become something like "Mr. Jonesiv".
"Biped! Good cranial development. Evidently considerable human ancestry."
I sure hope this is just an April Fool's joke.
If so then it's kind of funny, if not and this fellow is serious then this poor child is in for a life of torment and ridicule.
Isn't there some law against eating people named Lee? :(
other is to gain it. -George Bernard Shaw (contributed by Chris Johnston) sk
in public life say they made a mistake. -Ross Perot pa
-Albert Einstein el
I funny webpage about kids names: http://www.misanthropic-bitch.com/briandrye.html
porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps. She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears! The genie tells the woman the he will grant her any three wishes her heart desires. After a bit of thought, she says, "I wish I were young and beautiful!" And POOF! In a cloud of smoke she becomes a young, beautiful, voluptuous woman. After a little more thought, she says, "I would like to be rich for the rest of my life." And POOF! When the smoke clears, there are stacks and stacks of money lying on the porch. The genie then says, "Now, madam, what is your final wish?" "Well," says the woman, "I would like for you to transform my faithful old cat, whom I have loved dearly for fifteen years, into a young handsome prince!" And with another billow of smoke the cat is changed into a tall, handsome, young man, with dark hair, dressed in a dashing uniform. As they gaze at each other in adoration, the prince leans over to the woman and whispers into her ear, "Now, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?" jz
zj
1957 Someone who'll go Her: Finding a place to put Mr. Nice Guy all the way her gum Him: Wondering which word would best describe her breasts to the guys 1967 Someone who's got The first ten minutes Mr. Natural rolling papers and of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" will go all the way 1977 Someone who'll go Testing the batteries Mr. Goodbar all the way in leg warmers and a leather face mask 1987 Someone who's never Examination of the genitalia Mr. Clean gone all the way in under the magnifying glass San Francisco that Grandma used for needle- point before she passed away -- Michael Corcoran, "National Lampoon", October 1987 nt
woman should not marry basketball players -- they dribble before they shoot. kx
man and mouse the same, both end up in pussy. gf
whispers, "I'll tell you who I was thinking of if you tell me who you were thinking of." Like most sex jokes the origins of the pleasant exchange are obscure. But whatever the source, it seldom fails to evoke a certain awful recognition. -- Gore Vidal, "New York Review of Books" qtp
wa
gl
jelly that smells like a fresh fruit salad. fka
I'm pretty sure I remember a contestant on the game show "Lingo" on the Game Show Network (U.S. Version), having a number in their name. I can't recall exactly what it was though; anyone else?
What?
Guinevere, into her chastity belt. Then he summoned his loyal friend and subject Sir Lancelot. "Lancelot, noble knight," said Arthur, "within this sturdy belt is imprisoned the virtue of my wife. The key to this chaste treasure I will entrust to only one man in the world. To you." Humbled before this great honor, Lancelot knelt, received his king's blessing and took charge of the key. Arthur mounted his steed and rode off. Not half a mile from his castle, he heard hoofbeats behind him and turned to see Sir Lancelot riding hard to catch up with him. "What is amiss, my friend?" asked the king. "My lord," gasped Lancelot, "you have given me the wrong key!" js
elephant in the bed with her. Almost in shock, she says, "Did I pick you up in the bar last night?" "Uh-huh," the elephant replies. "Did I bring you home?" "Uh-huh." "Did we, uh, fool around?" "Uh-huh." "Lord, I must have been tight!" "Not any more." bi
> 1.) How names work alphabetically? What if you son/daughter publishes a book. I bet the Library of Congress will have a shit-fit trying to index it by author's name.
/. on April 1st. Your children being geeks will be enough torture through grade school. Why make it worse?
The LoC already handles this quite well. It's their job, y'know?
> 2.) How the hell is it supposed to be pronounced? Brad? Brfourd? B-R-Four-D?
I'd say "Brad", but heck, he could pronounce it "Chuck" if he really wanted to.
> 3.) Your son/daughter will become a geek like you. You're a geek. You posted on
To prepare them for the tribulation of making more money than their former classmates, of course.
> 4.) I waant to be there when your son/daughter enlists in the military and the Drill Instructor goes Ape-Shit on your kid.
If you'd ever been near the military, you'd know that DIs don't use first names. Ever.
Virg
izl
> You just put his name down, every time as Bo3b.... Really, how can they STOP you
Gonna go out on a limb on this one. Perhaps by fining you every time you do it until you decide it's too expensive?
Virg
In Holland we have a extravagant management adviser who called his son after his car (Rolls Royce Ratelband!) and his daughter afther his yell! Tjakkalotte!!! Thats not l337, thats l4m3...
rhj
Lisa: Ralph... get off my back!! ell
gdk
showgirls for an eroded slope 90 minutes from Broadway, I'll be on this corner tomorrow at 11 with my tongue hanging out." -- S. J. Perelman si
I had a bad childhood because no one wanted to play with men because of my name.
... but why can't you simply give your child a name where it will enjoy to be called for luch/dinner/breakfast just because of the beautyfull sound?
... when I moved house again and my new shool mates where "adult".
Everybody hated me, because of my name. I don't know if a l337 name is BAD
Its not fund for a child when its playing on the playground and the father calls it home for dinner and everybody in the neighbourhood associate a klingone battle cry with your name.
I got my first friends after I was 16
angel'o'sphere
Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
I ran CC in indy for BDHS at the same time Pete was running. I always felt awful for him-- he was a pretty good cross country runner, and usually finished high enough that they read his name at the awards ceremonies after the meets. I would always cringe when I saw the announcer hesitate before reading a name-- they never knew what to do. (For the record, I was bad enough that he probably never heard my name announced)
I never really new him-- but I hope that the name change has made his life smoother.
squirrel who run up woman's leg not find nuts. at
Lady 3Jane!
Misleading titles? Inflammatory blurbs? Keep in mind that Slashdot is a tabloid.
-- Karen Gordon brx
Oh boy.
Another stupid April Fool's news item.
April 2nd cannot come soon enough.
Can't we just add a day to February and get rid of April 1?
-Michael
Threshold RPG
C3PO
I have a friend whose parents tried to give him the middle name "Hen3ry", but the state of Oklahoma wouldn't allow it.
___ alwaysBETA.com - Hey, you've got nothing better to do.
Am I the misfit?>/i>
Are you sure you really want to hear the answer to that question...?
Really: Get a grip. Do you really think anyone is going to think it 1337 to have digits in their names when you kid gets old enough trying to date and stuff? Your idea reminds me the most of the Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue" - listen to it one day.
Not for nothing, but I did telemarketing for my university (hitting alumni up for donations) and one of the worst I ever had to call was a Mr. Harry Cock. Everyone within earshot was laughing hysterically as soon as I asked for him.
Needless to say, he hung up on me.
exciting eroticism, "The Windflower," by Laura London. Ms. London is the author of such other philosophical block-busters as "Bad Baron's Daughter," "A Heart Too Proud," "Moonlight Mist," and most thigh-warming of all, "Gypsy Heiress". Well, glasses-steaming scenes are to be found on every page, to an extent which overwhelms Your Humble Narrator, and so, in order to save himself extreme embarrassment, he brings you... the blurb: "Every lady of breeding knows: no one has a good time on a pirate ship. No one, that is, but the pirates. Yet there she was, Merry Wilding -- kidnapped in error, taken from a ship bound from New York to England, spirited away in a barrel and swept aboard the infamous "Black Joke"... There she was, trembling with pleasure in the arms of her achingly handsome, sensationally sensual, golden-haired captor -- Devon." el
against a building, weeping uncontrollably and holding his car keys in his hands. He's moaning something about how "They took my car!" Seeing that the man is well-dressed, the officer suspects that he may have a real case of theft on his hands and attempts to question the man. "What happened to your car?" "My car, it was right on the end of my key, and those bastards stole it! Please officer, get my Porsche back. My God, it was right on the end of my key! Where is it? They stole it and it was right here; right on my key!" "OK, OK, stand up, we'll see what we can do. You'll have to come down to the stat... Mister, your fly's unzipped and you're exposing yourself!" "Oh my God, they stole my girlfriend!" ie
huge burley inmate, and he was pretty nervous. At lights-out, the inmate jumped out of his bunk, and, turning to our hero, said, "We're going to have sex! You want to be the Mommy or the Daddy?" A very terrified hero managed to squeak out, "Uh, well, uh, I guess I'll be the Daddy." "OK," smiled his roommate, "get down here and suck your Momma's dick!" dhb
sv
would send his wife a telegram saying, "Can't come home yet. Still buying." His wife knew that these buying trips usually involved more than business. She tolerated this particular jaunt for a while, but when the third month rolled by and she'd still seen nothing of her husband but the weekly telegrams, she wired him, "Better come home. I'm selling what you're buying." gy
ka
He arrived in Needles, CA late one night and pulled into an Exxon for some gas. When he pulled up to the gas pumps, he noticed that all of the lights were off. Suddenly, he heard a faint sound from outside. He wasn't sure what he'd heard, so he rolled down his window and heard a faint cry, "Help... help... help". He got out of his car, and sure enough there was a guy stooped down in the corner, stark naked with his wrists tied to his ankles. He walked up to the guy and said, "Hey, man, what happened to you?" "These guys pulled me out of my car, took my money, my wallet, my clothes, tied my wrists to my ankles, and then stole my car!!" "Damn!", replied the first man as he unzipped his pants. "This just hasn't been your day, has it?" af
proposal of marriage as he was pretty sensitive about his artificial leg and afraid that no one would have him. In fact, he couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancee about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly. The wedding came and went, and the young couple were at last alone in their honeymoon suite. "Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise," smiled the bride. Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on the stump. "Hmmmmm," she said softly, "that IS a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do!" nwk
This is by far the most ignorant thing I've ever read on Slashdot.
Conrad was drunker than he'd ever seen him before. "What's the trouble, buddy?", he asked, sliding onto the stool next to his friend. "It's a woman, Dick," Conrad replied. "I guessed that much. Tell me about it." "I can't," Conrad said. But after a few more drinks his tongue and resolution both seemed to weaken and, turning to his buddy, he said, "Okay. It's your wife." "My wife!!" "Yeah." "What about her?" Conrad pondered the question heavily, and draped his arm around his pal. "Well, buddy-boy," he said, "I'm afraid she's cheating on us." hvb
and *always* eat what they shoot. wu
various reasons men get out of bed in the middle of the night. According to the report, 2% are motivated by a desire to visit the bathroom, and 3% have an urge to raid the refrigerator. The other 95% get up to go home. ao
ug
talked it over and decided to do a little conjugal swapping. The trade was made the following evening and the newly arranged couples retired to their respective houses. After about an hour of bedroom bliss, one of the wives propped herself up on an elbow, looked at her new partner and said: "Well, I wonder how the boys are getting along?" rvx
-- Louis Jordan pw
egq
rp
ze
Guinevere, into her chastity belt. Then he summoned his loyal friend and subject Sir Lancelot. "Lancelot, noble knight," said Arthur, "within this sturdy belt is imprisoned the virtue of my wife. The key to this chaste treasure I will entrust to only one man in the world. To you." Humbled before this great honor, Lancelot knelt, received his king's blessing and took charge of the key. Arthur mounted his steed and rode off. Not half a mile from his castle, he heard hoofbeats behind him and turned to see Sir Lancelot riding hard to catch up with him. "What is amiss, my friend?" asked the king. "My lord," gasped Lancelot, "you have given me the wrong key!" kl
she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair. The man shouted, "What, no wool? In my country all women have wool down there." The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or fuck?" ow
ok
is not in San Francisco, but in Iowa Falls, Minnesota (pop. 763), a small town in which virtually everyone is gay. In 1976, a group of about 100 gays fleeing persecution in the South settled in the town, and soon won a majority on the town council. Ordinances prohibiting heterosexual acts soon followed. "After all," said mayor Harry Whalen, "If the Supreme Court has refused to strike down laws prohibiting homosexual acts, then our anti-straight laws are equally valid." Rigorous enforcement of those laws has resulted in a community that is now almost 100% gay. Said one long-time resident: "I've lived here 35 years and didn't want to leave, but I didn't want to give up sex either. Then my neighbor Ed came over one night, and said how about I do it with him, and my wife Millie could do it with his wife. Well, I found it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Fact is, I rather like it." cth
than malnutrition. -- Alex Comfort lt
nku
fj
ml
man who beat off in car have hot rod. zcb
check out Optimus Prime!
-- Frank Zappa, "Jewish Princess" gdd
one day, when they saw a dog (also male) sitting on a lawn, licking its cock. (Why do dogs do that? Because they can). Anyway, the first manager nudged the second and said, "Hey, look at that! That really looks like fun -- I wish I could do that!" Whereupon the second manager replied, "Well, I don't know... I tried it once, and the damn dog bit me!" qt
that he has to leave, his wife is expecting him to come home and make love with her. The other man is astonished. "Make love to your wife? You're as old as I am! Nearly eighty years old! What do you mean you have to go home and make love to your wife?" The first man smiles and says, "We have a *great* sex life. We make love every day." "You're kidding!" says his friend. "How do you do it?" "Pumpernickel bread. That's the secret." And he dashes off home. The other man starts to walk home. "Hmmm," he thinks to himself pumpernickel bread. Well, it's worth a try." So he goes into a nearby bakery. Going up to the woman at the counter, he asks for their entire stock of pumpernickel bread. The woman stares at him in astonishment. "You want all the pumpernickel bread we have? Are you sure? Don't you know that it will get hard?" "How come," demands the man, "everybody knows about this but me?" ly
-- Karl Marx hv
elephant in the bed with her. Almost in shock, she says, "Did I pick you up in the bar last night?" "Uh-huh," the elephant replies. "Did I bring you home?" "Uh-huh." "Did we, uh, fool around?" "Uh-huh." "Lord, I must have been tight!" "Not any more." in
You'll get more laughs, and won't scar your child for life. My daughters initials are BMP. My wife doesn't understand why my nickname for our duaghter is Bitmap, but my friends do, and that is all that matters.
jl
then she isn't good enough for you. vu
Joy. But she sidestepped, and they missed. mie
HERSHEY behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of 5th AVENUE and CLARK where he there began to feel her MOUNDS. And that was an ALMOND JOY which definately made his TOOSIE ROLL. He let out a SNICKER as he slipped his BUTTERFINGER up her KIT KAT which of course caused the MILKY WAY. She screamed "OH, HENRY!" as she squeezed his PETER, PAUL and ZAGNUTS and said "you're better then the 3 MUSKETEERS." -- John Volby (Dr. Dirty), "The Candy Bar Poem" oy
ran out. "I have an idea," croaked Al. "Lesh go over to my housh and borrow shum money from my wife." The two of them reeled into Al's living room, snapped on the light, and lo and behold, there was Al's wife making love on the sofa to another man. This state of affairs considerably unnerved Al's friend but didn't seem to affect the husband. "Shay, dear, you have any money for your ever-lovin' hushban'?" he asked. "Yes, yes," she snapped. "Take my purse from the mantle, and for Pete's sake, turn off those lights." Outside they examined the purse, and Al proudly announced, "There's enough here for a pint for you and a pint for me. Pretty good, eh, old buddy?" "But, Al," protested his friend, somewhat sobered by the spectacle he'd just witnessed, "what about that fellow back there with your wife?" "The hell with him," replied Al. "Let him buy his own pint." ol
they were doing. "They're making puppies, son," replied the father. That night, the boy wandered into his parents' room while they were making love. Asked what they were doing, the father replied, "Making you a baby brother." "Gee, Dad," the boy pleaded, "turn her over -- I'd rather have a puppy." ko
-- Shakespeare ve
-- Gore Vidal mcu
py
My school ID number is '1337'
Everyone is born right-handed; only the greatest overcome it
1950's were uttered by June Cleaver. "Gee, Ward, weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night?" da
aj
-- Groucho Marx yn
cute French horn player? What ever happened to him?" "Well," replies her friend, we're still seeing each other, but, I must admit, we've had some problems." "Problems? What's wrong?" "You see," says the second woman, "every time he kisses me, he wants to shove his fist up my ass." eyc
fool man climb tree to get cherries; wise man spread limbs. rat
two great kingdoms. Yet, because the young couple seemed so formal to each other, he posted a spy outside the royal wedding chamber and demanded a full account of the wedding night's progress. "It's hard to tell," said the spy the next morning. "When the prince entered the chamber, I heard the princess say, quite formally, 'I offer you my honor.' Then the prince said, with equal courtliness, 'I honor your offer.' And that's the way it went all night long -- honor, offer, honor, offer. yfz
1957 Someone who'll go Her: Finding a place to put Mr. Nice Guy all the way her gum Him: Wondering which word would best describe her breasts to the guys 1967 Someone who's got The first ten minutes Mr. Natural rolling papers and of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" will go all the way 1977 Someone who'll go Testing the batteries Mr. Goodbar all the way in leg warmers and a leather face mask 1987 Someone who's never Examination of the genitalia Mr. Clean gone all the way in under the magnifying glass San Francisco that Grandma used for needle- point before she passed away -- Michael Corcoran, "National Lampoon", October 1987 jxm
Yes and yes. Think of the children!
...was the name of a guy who went to Evergreen (Colorado) High School (~ '89ish). People who didn't know of him always asked "Jamie who?".
man with head up ass have shitty outlook on life. dre
wg
It worked for Hugo Gernsbeck.
(Ralph one two forsee 41 +)
early 20th century SciFi.
Pronunciation can be a real pit for number names.
obviously pushing 70, tossing off manhattans and cavorting around the dance floor like a 20-year old. Finally curiousity got the best of the cigarette girl. "I beg your pardon, sir," she said, "but I'm amazed to see a gentleman of your age living it up like a youngster. Tell me, are all of your faculties unimpaired?" The old fellow looked up at the girl sadly and shook his head. "Not all, I'm afraid." he said. "Just last evening I went nightclubbing with a girlfriend -- we drank and danced all night and finally rolled into her place about two A.M. We went to bed immediately, and I was asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke around three-thirty and nudged my girl." "Why, George," she said in suprise, "we did that fifteen minutes ago." "So you see," the old boy said sadly, "my memory is beginning to fail me." gh
doorknob warms up when you hold it. xx
You seriously consider the job because it gives you: 1: Lots of unclaimed wedding rings and watches. 2: Lots of gold fillings and bridges. 3: Free blood. 4: A constantly changing array of new friends who aren't at all stuffy about what happens to their genitalia. lyc
rak
pvj
On my twenty first birthday I'm changing my name to "Iam Reel Leet"
only get three fingers in a bowling ball. gf
tbc
She's up to three packs a day. -- Rodney Dangerfield ly
-- Woody Allen xh
however, the laundry always gets wet. All the laundry, that is, except for Laurie's. Laurie never seems to have her laundry out when it rains. So, one day, they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women says to Laurie, "Laurie, how come when it never rains when you have your laundry out?" "Well," replies Laurie, "when I wake up in the morning, I check out my husband Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a great day. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it might rain. I don't know why it works, but he's never been wrong!" "Laurie, what if he has an erection?" asks the other woman. "Honey, on a day like *that*, you don't do the *laundry." jp
UP PERISCOPE!!! (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.) tz
Oh, April. Name fields in databases sometimes accept only letters.
In answer to your questions:
Am I guaranteeing my child becomes a misfit? YES
Am I the misfit? YES
Don't do it. Kids with oddball names have a hard enough time while growing up. Don't add to their misery.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
Sex: Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay. Maturity: Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out. Handwriting: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note. up
man who lay girl on hill, not on level. if
-- Johnny Rotten bk
dp
-- James Thurber jt
pull out of your ass. crd
If thy dick offends thee, whack it off. ff
eda
You seriously consider the job because it gives you: 1: Lots of unclaimed wedding rings and watches. 2: Lots of gold fillings and bridges. 3: Free blood. 4: A constantly changing array of new friends who aren't at all stuffy about what happens to their genitalia. og
ex
porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps. She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears! The genie tells the woman the he will grant her any three wishes her heart desires. After a bit of thought, she says, "I wish I were young and beautiful!" And POOF! In a cloud of smoke she becomes a young, beautiful, voluptuous woman. After a little more thought, she says, "I would like to be rich for the rest of my life." And POOF! When the smoke clears, there are stacks and stacks of money lying on the porch. The genie then says, "Now, madam, what is your final wish?" "Well," says the woman, "I would like for you to transform my faithful old cat, whom I have loved dearly for fifteen years, into a young handsome prince!" And with another billow of smoke the cat is changed into a tall, handsome, young man, with dark hair, dressed in a dashing uniform. As they gaze at each other in adoration, the prince leans over to the woman and whispers into her ear, "Now, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?" xu
-- G.B. Shaw bto
pp
his stomach is obviously setting her standards too high. lu
UP PERISCOPE!!! (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.) va
Only 50 of them? Not bad at all. :)
And the l33t shall inherit the 34r7h.
thm
"What's the matter, buddy?", inquired the bartender. "Well," replied the customer, "while I was in the men's room, I saw someone had scribbled `Wendy gives really fabulous head; absolutely the best blow job in the world!' on the wall." "Ahh, hell," said the bartender. "Don't give it a second thought, we get jerks in here like anywhere else." "I know," snarled the headshaker. "One of them scratched out the phone number!" oc
jia
the executive reminisced at his club bar, "but when I got the bill for the great head session one of them pleasured me with, I must say that it was enough to make a blown man cry." oi
Remember, oral sex CAN cause pregnancy, unless you use an oral contraceptive. See your family planning clinic today! sb
woman who fly upside down in airplane have big crack up. yg
tyj
to be otherwise. -- Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" es
psf
huge burley inmate, and he was pretty nervous. At lights-out, the inmate jumped out of his bunk, and, turning to our hero, said, "We're going to have sex! You want to be the Mommy or the Daddy?" A very terrified hero managed to squeak out, "Uh, well, uh, I guess I'll be the Daddy." "OK," smiled his roommate, "get down here and suck your Momma's dick!" gb
would send his wife a telegram saying, "Can't come home yet. Still buying." His wife knew that these buying trips usually involved more than business. She tolerated this particular jaunt for a while, but when the third month rolled by and she'd still seen nothing of her husband but the weekly telegrams, she wired him, "Better come home. I'm selling what you're buying." ey
gnl
-- Ellyn Mustard daz
epx
bcx
One of the nurses in my rheumatologist's office is named Inna (pronounced "Eena"), which I am told is the Armenian pronunciation for the number 9. (She was the ninth child born to her parents :-)
9/11 Eyewitnesses to Explosive WTC Demolition 1 of 2
-- Joan Rivers nf
visit her grandmother when a wolf jumped out from behind a tree. "Aha!" the wolf said, "Now I've got you, and I'm going to eat you." "Eat, eat, eat," said Little Red Riding Hood angrily, "Damn it, doesn't anybody fuck anymore?" qik
-- Strange de Jim osz
discharge. Without missing a beat, I said... "It's my dick and I can wash it as fast as I want!" yzo
disposing of a plate of oysters on the half shell. One of the young men remarked to his friend, "Did you ever hear that business about raw oysters being good for a man's virility?" "Yes, why?" the friend replied. "Well, take it from me, that's a lot of foolishness. I ate a dozen of them the other night, and only nine worked." ar
When Pee-wee Herman was arrested that evening in Sarasota, Florida, the bill at the XXX South Trail Cinema featured: + Nurse Nancy, starring Sandra Scream + Turn Up the Heat, starring Savannah + Tiger Shark, starring Raven dqu
your girlfriend gets the munchies! ou
can't remember why I felt compelled to look this up, but I did discover there are people in the US with the misfortune to be named Seven Ates
Usage: fortune -P [-f] -a [xsz] Q: file [rKe9] -v6[+] file1
"I've just had a good war." -- Mae West vyp
Aiiighh:
Frigg \Frigg\, Frigga \Frig"ga\n. [Icel. Frigg. See Friday.] (Scand. Myth.) The wife of Odin and mother of the gods; the supreme goddess; the Juno of the Valhalla. Cf. Freya.
Okaaay, but what does it _really_ mean ??!
From snoopy.com:
Q. Who are the dancing girls featured in A Charlie Brown Christmas?
A. The twin sisters named "Three" and "Four," who are most commonly recognized as the bouncy dancing girls in A Charlie Brown Christmas, were characters from the daily PEANUTS in the 60's. They had an Older Brother named "Five."
In the strips' story line, their father names them with numbers in protest of society's ever-growing trend of reducing human lives to statistics. Their last name is actually 95742 - the family's zip code. Most have deduced that this was a bit of Mr. Schulz's social commentary as to 1960's activism. Each of the three characters was seldom seen after the early 70's.
seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves. -- Brendan Behan gn
-- Malcolm Bradbury flr
for diet Coke." -- Malcolm DacDougall fse
the third is routine. After that you just take the girl's clothes off. -- Raymond Chandler vtt
xs
Ok, I know it is April 1 and all, but I actually knew a Bo3B.
He worked for DTS at Apple and when asked, would say, "The 3 is silent".
It was on his offical Apple badge, his business cards, and I believe, I even saw it on his driver's license.
Yours,
Jordan
selection of vibrators, he brought out the two most popular ones. "The basic white plastic one here is twenty dollars," the clerk said. "The flesh-toned rubber models are thirty." "I'm just not sure," the woman said, Then she noticed an eye-catching item on the back shelf. "How much is that plaid one over there? "Uh, well, that's a pretty special one," said the clerk. "I couldn't sell you that one for less than a hundred." "I'll take it." Later that day, the store owner checked in to see how business was going. "Great," the clerk told him. "This morning, I sold four white vibrators and three flesh-toned ones. And, this afternoon, I got a hundred bucks for my Thermos." gmp
there are more important things in life than great sex. qn
ezr
pc
There used to be a Buzz Buzzard in our city's telephone book.
That, and a friend of mine went to school with a vietnamese transfer student. I don't know how his name was spelled, but it was pronounced "dung heap". Apparently he was the first one to inform this kid that his name literally translated to "pile of $hit"...
I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
yf
satisfy his new 18-year-old wife. He visited a gypsy woman with magical powers. After the man downed a foul-tasting potion, the gypsy said, "There. Now the words beep-beep will give you an enormous erection. Repeating the phrase will make it disappear. But remember," she cautioned, "it will work only three times. Make use of them wisely." As the old man left, he decided to test her prediction. "Beep-beep," he said, and sure enough, he got the biggest erection of his life. "Beep-beep", he repeated. It went away. He sped through traffic on his way home. "Beep-beep," honked a taxi. The old man gasped as he instantly got hard. "Beep-beep," honked a truck. His erection wilted. Pulling into his driveway at last, the frantic man rushed inside and found his nubile wife lying on the bed reading a novel. "Have I got a surprise for you," he said, tearing off his clothes. "Beep-beep!" "Hold on a second," his wife said, eyeing his magnificent erection. "What's all this beep-beep shit?" eu
hu
Vol. I -- Etiquette 1. It's not lady-like to straddle a water jet, moan in ecstasy, and then scream at the top of your lungs, "Oh, yes, YES, BABY!" 2. Washing your partner's back is sexy. Washing your panty hose is not. 3. Nude bathing with strangers can be a pleasant experience; don't spoil it for everyone with a thoughtless remark, such as "My God, I've seen bigger wangs on hamsters!" 4. It's O.K. to pass a joint while tubbing. Don't pass anything else. 5. Don't think you're fooling anybody by passing off your vibrator as a toy submarine. hm
reason to limit myself. -- Emo Philips us
Someone in my town named their kid John 2.0. I feel sorry for the kid.
Years ago, I worked with a guy whose last name was Meth. When his wife became pregnant with a girl, I tried my best to convince him that their daughter should be named Crystal, but it didn't take. I don't think he ever got the joke, though.
particularly wild all-night party held in their fashionable apartment. "Dearest, this is rather embarrassing," said the husband, "but was it you I made love to in the library last night?" His wife looked at him reflectively and then asked, "About what time?" wkj
me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw. -- Tallulah Bankhead gkk
shared dinner, and had a marvelous evening. When he left her, he told her that he had really enjoyed their time together, and hoped to see her again, soon. Smiling yes, she gave him her phone number. The next day, he called her up and asked her to go dancing. She agreed. As they talked, he jokingly asked her what her favorite flower was. Realizing his intentions, she told him that he shouldn't bring her flowers -- if he wanted to bring her a gift, well, he should bring her a Swiss Army knife! Surprised, and not a little intrigued, he spent a large part of the afternoon finding a particularly unusual one. Arriving at her apartment he immediately presented her with the knife. She ooohed and ahhhed over it for a minute, and then carefully placed it in a drawer, that the man couldn't help but see was full of Swiss Army knives. Surprised, he asked her why she had collected so many. "Well, I'm young and attractive now", blushed the woman, "but that won't always be true. And boy scouts will do anything for a Swiss Army knife!" aoa
-- Germaine Greer lbp
Ok, when I was a kid I read about legal aliases... and convinced my mom to let me get "Noodles" as a registered alias. I'm really glad we didn't follow through with that. Seriously, this would be something like letting an 8- or 10-year-old pick a tattoo. =P
-=[You cannot consistently judge this statement to be true.]=-
il
woman should not marry basketball players -- they dribble before they shoot. rju
-- Dudley Moore fbq
bno
In high school, I knew a kid named Lief Brown. His nickname was branch.
help overhearing his conversation out the window with a man standing on the train platform. "Thanks for putting me up while I was here, Sam," said the passenger. "Glad to do it," said the other man. "Thanks for the food and the drinks -- everything was wonderful." "It was a pleasure," said the man. "And thank your wife, Sam, she was great," said the passenger, "she was a truly great lay." The man was rather taken aback by this exchange and he later turned to his fellow passenger and said: "Pardon me sir, but did I understand you to say that your friend's wife was a great lay?" "Well," said the other passenger, "I didn't REALLY enjoy it. But Sam is a helluva nice guy." cvm
I know several people who have changed their name due to death of a spouse, divorce, etc. It's not difficult, costly, or illegal.
But it can be a nuisance making the switch. Credit cards, license, etc. Why not let your kids decide their own name when they get older? Maybe he just wants to be B0b.
-- Stephen.
the popularity of this field of study in computer science. ih
yb
eplileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one. ymp
woman who bathe in vinegar have sour puss. wv
ced
xos
some guy tried to change his name to 7 like 30 some odd years back, but the gov't wouldnt let him because none of the computers used in recording names and other important info were coded to take numbers. possibly this has changed, though i highly doubt it. basically, sux0rz j00r b0x0rz, your names gotta be alpha >.
i agree with this post...
"The big question in our lives is how to be at the same time a hedonist and in a hurry" - Alain Ducasse (?)
could go either way. tzu
honestly, i am sorry to say this. but i hope your child hates your for doing that. please, lets stop the absurdities and give your child a normal name (and i dont mean tom or nick, but i mean something that is in some earthly phonetical language)
young man to his father as he prepared to leave home. "Don't try to stop me. I'm on my way." "Who's trying to stop you?" shouted the father. "Take me along!" cq
ogu
promise to make people feel better, but the prostitute doesn't make pretensions that the feelings will last once the client walks out the door. shv
fool man climb tree to get cherries; wise man spread limbs. djt
the pretty young thing decided to put her foot down: "See here," she shouted indignantly. "This is positively the last time I'm going to tell you `no'." "Splendid!" exclaimed her date. "Now we can start making some progress." ky
as to who was the best practical joker. When she announced her marriage, like all good brothers, they immediately found out where the honeymoon would be and repaired there to do their worst, er, best. The brother who was a carpenter went first, and came back out in five minutes. The brother who worked as a plumber went second and was out in about half an hour. Finally, the brother employed as a dentist went inside and came out almost immediately. A few days after the start of their sister's honeymoon the brothers each received a telegram from their sister. It read: I liked the couch falling apart when we sat on it. I was amused when the shower went cold five minutes after it started. But I'm going to kill whoever put the novocaine into the KY jelly... fy
me
(1) You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod. (2) A beer doesn't care when you come. (3) Beer doesn't have a mother. (4) Beer doesn't need much closet space. (5) A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Playboy "just for the articles". (6) Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks. (7) Beer doesn't always want to go to the 'powder room' with everyone else's beer. (8) When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't make you ill. ccj
-- Marilyn Chambers la
the popularity of this field of study in computer science. in
way there, we got a flat tire. We got out of the car and I pumped, she jacked I pumped, she jacked, I pumped, she jacked and then we changed the tire. Eventually we arrived at the party and when we walked in, everyone was jumping for joy. What a sight seeing her hanging nude from the chandelier! Well the party was OK, I guess, we just sat around drinking sherry and eating candy. Everybody else started feeling merry. Those have got to be the three wildest girls I know. nw
-- Mae West ym
man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. jlc
A: sometimes B: always C: never D: none of the above. kbz
-- Woody Allen pe
pu
man who kicked in testicles get left holding bag. lmn
hy
Oh, I can feel your fingers on the keys, baby, I'm getting WARM.... I am getting there, oh yes,. Oh, my. OH YES... OHHHH! ...!!!rrrrrgh!!!!!
Honey, that was *really* terrific, but, next time,
couldn't you please input a little SLOWER?
szs
doctor that his marriage was still in name only. The doctor, after hearing the sad tale, told him that waiting until bedtime to make advances was causing psychological pressure and advised him to take advantage of the next time he felt in the mood. A week later, the doctor happened to meet the man again, and noticed a new spring in his step. "My advice worked, I take it?" he inquired. The young man grinned. "Perfectly. The other night, we were having supper, and as I reached for the salt -- so did she! Our hands touched... It was as if an electric current ran through us. I leaped to my feet, swept the dishes from the table and then and there consummated our marriage! There's just one problem, however. We can't go back to The Four Seasons again..." ldn
eh
one day, when they saw a dog (also male) sitting on a lawn, licking its cock. (Why do dogs do that? Because they can). Anyway, the first manager nudged the second and said, "Hey, look at that! That really looks like fun -- I wish I could do that!" Whereupon the second manager replied, "Well, I don't know... I tried it once, and the damn dog bit me!" ccy
(2) The Nutcracker Swede (3) Santa Goes Round-The-World (4) Not-So-Tiny Tim (5) Ninja Reindeer Killfest '88 (6) Yes, Yes, Oh God Yes, Virginia (7) Crisco Kringle (8) Babes in Boyland (9) Santa's Magic Lap (10) Hot Buttered Elves -- David Letterman's "Top Ten Christmas Movies in Times Square" gah
tj
day early and would be home on Thursday. When he walked into his apartment, however, he found his wife in bed with another man. Furious,he picked up his bag and stormed out. He met his mother-in-law on the street, told her what had happened and announced that he was filing for divorce in the morning. "Give my daughter a chance to explain before you take any action," the older woman pleaded. Reluctantly, he agreed. An hour later his mother-in-law phoned the husband at his club. "I knew my daughter would have an explanation," she said, a note of triumph in her voice. "She didn't receive your telegram!" rqs
Ms. Kat****** Bl****an is the mistress of a well-known banker in Houston, Texas. That's $5000, please, to stop us from revealing both of your names, Mr. L*****, so that your wife Doreen, and your lovely children Diane, Janice and Tom need never know the name of your mistress. You have two days to reach us at: Fortune Blackmail Behind the hot water pipes, Third stall from the end, Greyhound Bus Terminal, Fayette MO. xlv
pj
Not quite the same thing, but equally as stupid: http://www.inthemix.com.au/p/np/viewnews.php?id=14 768
-- Martin Cruz Smith put
want to go home and screw. After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live. -- Erica Jong tlm
proposal of marriage as he was pretty sensitive about his artificial leg and afraid that no one would have him. In fact, he couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancee about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly. The wedding came and went, and the young couple were at last alone in their honeymoon suite. "Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise," smiled the bride. Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on the stump. "Hmmmmm," she said softly, "that IS a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do!" wy
zmn
"Oh, how can you tell?" "Well, last night when she sat on my face, I couldn't hear the stereo." cvt
Its just a label. Why can't it be anything as long as this label is properly applied to the individual... which is a POSITIVE thing unless he/she turns into a criminal.
xk
There is a UK academic called Perri 6 who has written a number of books/articles about robotics and government (not sure if they were on both at the same time) See this article for example.
Apple had someone working for them who went by Bo3b Johnson, although the 3 was silent. He wrote for develop magazine, as I recall. For example, see here and here.
I don't know, but it works for me.
blocks from his house, when he realized that he had left the airplane tickets on his bureau top. He returned and quietly entered the house. His wife, in her skimpiest negligee, was standing at the sink washing the breakfast dishes. She looked so inviting that he tiptoed up behind her, reached out, and squeezed her breast. "Leave only one quart of milk," she said. "Morris won't be here for breakfast tomorrow." nzn
Census Taker". It's about a guy who comes once every ten years. eo
friend asked him how it went. "The first night we did it nine times," Bill said. "The second night, eight times. The third night, seven times. The fourth night, six times. The fifth night, five times. The sixth night, four times, and the last night, nothing!" "Nothing?" his pal asked. "How come?" "Hey, you ever tried putting a marshmallow in a parking meter?" it
in at a local bar for a drink. He gets his beer, turns around to sit down, and finds himself face to face with a ravishing blonde. The two strike up a conversation, and really hit it off. After a couple drinks they leave the bar go back to her pad, to peruse her etchings. Which doesn't take long -- by seven they were happily engaged in intimate scratching. 'Round about midnight the guy rolled over in bed and spotted the clock: "Midnight! Already! I gotta get home! Honey, you have any baby powder?" He jumps out of bed and starts pulling his pants on, trying to find his shoes. "Baby powder?" she asks. But she comes back from the bathroom and hands him the powder. He frantically shakes it all over his hands, kisses her goodbye, and runs out the front door. He gets home, and sure enough, there's his wife, waiting in the doorway. "Okay," she mutters, "let's have it." "Well," he says sheepishly, looking down at his feet. "Okay. I went to a bar after work and met a gorgeous blonde and we really hit it off. We had a few drinks and went back to her place, and well, see..." "Oh yeah?" she says, "let me see your hands... Don't you lie to me! You've been bowling again!" taa
omh
I had a friend who told me he had a friend who changed his name from "Fred" to "Fr7d". The '7' was silent.
various reasons men get out of bed in the middle of the night. According to the report, 2% are motivated by a desire to visit the bathroom, and 3% have an urge to raid the refrigerator. The other 95% get up to go home. dc
gbe
sincere. I have never given a kiss in my life that wasn't sincere. As for intercourse, I'd say three times a day was about right. -- Margaret Sangor lxp
Six months' pay isn't much to keep my wife from sleeping around. A diamond -- pure, sparkling, natural, flawless, forever. The way marriage should be but never quite is. People grow and change and sometimes want to take their clothes off with strangers. So when you invest in a fine piece of diamond jewelry, you're not only making an investment, you're making a statement. You're telling the woman you love that you've just spent a lot of your hard-earned money on her. Now she owes you the kind of loyalty that only precious jewelry can buy. Isn't she worth it? The Honeymoon's Over: from $ 5000 The Seven Year Itch: from $10000 No More Lunchtime Quickies: from $15000 Divorce Would Be More Expensive: from $42000 A diamond is for leverage. BeDears byn
-- Shakespeare nx
USEFUL PHRASES IN ESPERANTO, #3. Kie estas la plej proksima masa^gejo? Where's the nearest massage parlor? Vi dolorigas min. You're hurting me. Mi deziras viziti usonan kuraciston. I want to see an American doctor. Mi deziras a^ceti kontraugraveda^jojn. I would like to buy some contraceptives. ^Cu tiu estis ankau bona por ci? Was it good for you too? wqr
night?" demanded the irate mother. "I could hear the giggling and squealing for a good half hour." "But, Mom," answered her daughter, "if a fellow takes you to the movies you ought to at least kiss him good night." "I thought you went to the Stork Club?" countered the mother. "We did." rnm
virility and regard sex as if it were some form of athletics at which you win cups. It is a woman's spirit and mood which a man has to stimulate in order to make sex interesting. The real lover is the man who can thrill you by just touching your head or smiling into your eyes -- or just by staring into space. -- Marilyn Monroe fk
As Nietsche famously said, "If you stare too long into the Abyss, 1d4 Tanar'ri of random type will attack you."
are unimportant. -- Henry Miller ki
np
pleasure that cannot be related to prostitution. -- Charles Baudelaire nyx
In the country town where I come from there is an electrician called Rod Tickle. ie Rod Tickle Electrical.
I have not lived there for about 10 years but was suprised when my mother sent me a newspaper clipping from the Births & deaths section of the local paper.
The have just had a beatiful baby girl and named her "Tess". I believe it is short for Tessa
Just for those who have already forgotten the first part of the story, there is a 3mth old baby girl called Tess Tickle.
Maybe they werent thinking??
however, the laundry always gets wet. All the laundry, that is, except for Laurie's. Laurie never seems to have her laundry out when it rains. So, one day, they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women says to Laurie, "Laurie, how come when it never rains when you have your laundry out?" "Well," replies Laurie, "when I wake up in the morning, I check out my husband Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a great day. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it might rain. I don't know why it works, but he's never been wrong!" "Laurie, what if he has an erection?" asks the other woman. "Honey, on a day like *that*, you don't do the *laundry." tsy
"Fifty dollars for a cup of coffee, one should be sufficient!", answered the gentleman, rather shortly. "I know", replied the beggar, "but coffee always makes me horny." ruq
One of the lecturers at my university (chem.dept.) actually named his daughter Kira Nerys XXXX-lastname.
Lucky Kira Nerys is a nice name... hopefully his daughter never finds out where it came from?
I tend to forget that the 'z' is pronounced differently in English - in my native language , Danish (which is very much related to German), it can be pronounced either 'tset' (like in German) or (more commonly) 'set'.
That soft-mushy-gaylike pronounciation is something that turned up after seamen having had to many semen (puns are ALWAYS funny at 7 in the morning when you haven't slept for two days).
in Fortran for all you know, at least make sure there's an existing friendship of some sort to fall back on if things don't work out like one or the other of you planned. ya
girl there. "This is a very special frog," he informs her. "His name is Charlie." "What's so special about this frog?" she asks. He's reluctant to tell her, but when pressed, explains that, "This frog can eat pussy." The girl slaps him, knocking him off his chair, and accuses him of telling her a filthy lie. But no, he assures her, it's completely true. And after much discussion, she agrees to come back to his apartment to see the frog in action. She positions herself appropriately, the guy carefully takes out the frog, and says, "Okay, Charlie, do your stuff!" The frog is immobile, despite his owner's exhortations, and the girl starts to snicker. "Okay, Charlie, do your stuff!" "C'mon Charlie, do your stuff!" By now, the girl is laughing openly. "Okay, Charlie," says the guy, moving the frog out of the way, "I'm only going to show you one more time." jxg
ai
woman who cooks carrots and pees in same pot very unsanitary. vnw
-- Groucho Marx it
tfa
I have a friend who worked for the US Census Bureau who found a woman named T9C (pronounced "Tee-nine-cee"). He also ran across a pair of twins, Lemonjello ("Lem-on-gell-o") and Orangejello ("Or-an-gell-o"), as well as a girl named Syphilis ("Sue-phillis").
I've discovered a remarkable proof, but this margin is too small to contain it...
A: sometimes B: always C: never D: none of the above. rez
In high school I know a kid named Jason Twenty-five. I am not kidding. His actual last name was a number. Though I don't know how it was spelled.
HC
HC
the diskette reader. Uncontrollably, she reached down, guiding the sharply pointed diskette into the deep, dark slot. The floppy diskette nearly folded under the repeated thrusts of her hand, until finally she could control it no longer, her right hand instinctively taking an option zero. And then it all came at once, thousands upon thousands of data bits flowing from diskette to disk in a torrent of torrid transfer, as the helpless legs of the 32 strained to remain on the floor. izz
(1) A beer won't make you go to church. (2) A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman. (3) A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit. (4) A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of other beers on the side. (5) A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson". (6) A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on yer fave radio station. (7) A beer understands why The Three Stooges are funny. (8) A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up. (9) A beer doesn't think that a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" is an enormous can of vegetable juice. (10) A beer won't smoke in your car. wl
tkm
A mate of mine goes one better. His name is Patrick, he lives in Luxembourg, so he nabbed the domain TRICK.LU and his e-mail is now.... p[@]trick.lu.
---- scrm
ti
one day, when they saw a dog (also male) sitting on a lawn, licking its cock. (Why do dogs do that? Because they can). Anyway, the first manager nudged the second and said, "Hey, look at that! That really looks like fun -- I wish I could do that!" Whereupon the second manager replied, "Well, I don't know... I tried it once, and the damn dog bit me!" am
but you're dressed. It's great for the girl... you're hitting and rubbing exactly the area that you ought to be... I still like that. -- Grace Slick cq
sheepherder explained, whenever the livestock starts looking good to you, it's time to spend a night in town. eb
oxq
they notice a sapling half-way between them. One tree proclaims, "That is a son of beech!" "No, that is a son of a birch!" insists the other. "A son of a BEECH!" "A son of a BIRCH!" "Son of a beech!" "Son of a birch!" The fighting attracts a woodpecker who informs them that he can tell what kind of tree the sapling is by its taste. First he tastes the beech and the birch. Then he tastes the sapling. "Well now, is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" asks the beech. "You're both wrong!" says the bird. "That's the best piece of ash I've had my pecker in for a long time!" fu
(1) Tacos don't put frilly covers on the toilet seat so the lid won't stay up. (2) Tacos don't use your razor on their legs. (3) Tacos don't say "That's okay, it doesn't have to be good for me." (4) Tacos don't get upset if you eat another taco, "Just for fun." (5) Tacos will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement, or seek custody of anything. (6) Tacos won't ask you about your last lover, or speculate about your next one. (7) A taco will never make a scene because there are other tacos in the refrigerator. (8) It's easy to drop a taco. (9) Tacos don't want to sleep on your chest. jn
Peacock is a pretty dodgy surname,
but what possessed the parents
to call their son Andrew?
Poor kid.
We all called him droopy .
Many moons ago when I was in the Royal Air Force, there was a junior rank of Aircraftsman. This was abbreviated to AC. The female equivalent was ACW.
One unfortunate young girl whose surname was Anker, thus saw her name on orders etc. as ACW Anker. The spacing often left something to be desired.
ISO 639 - Code for the representation of the names of languages
Like it says above!
- Primo
- Secondo
- Terzo
- ...
A few famous people have such first names: Primo Levi, Settimo Severo and sometimes I wonder about Ottavio/Octave...Non-Linux Penguins ?
There was a girl in Austin named "22" who
worked at a 7-11.
Many Greeks also spell their names (and Greek words in general) with English characters. They have to learn both at school> Most road signs in Greece have both english character and greek character variations on them as if they are two different languages.
I can't believe someone who would consider this managed to get a root, let only convince the woman to marry and pro-create with them. What am I doing wrong. The kid would be beaten up everyday of his life; including in the nursing home by the former jock using his zimmer frame.
-- Karma Karma Karma Karma, Karma Chameleon - Boy George
I always wanted to name my first born son Maudib after Paul Atreides chosen name ^__________^
Michael, Listen to your wife on this one. Don't tax your child with a handle. Growing up is hard enough without "tattooing" your child with a keyboard epithet. With regard to naming kids, you might consider that in class, children frequently go by alphabetical order on boardwork. I didn't want mine to be forced to go first but neither did I want them to have to sit and agonize while awaiting their turn, so I gave them names that start with B. Just a thought - FutureExpressionist.
For instance, Vietnam (where my wife's from).
People there have pretty commonly been simply named sequentially (ordinally). She has an uncle here in the US whose name is Tu (which translates as Fourth, which is in fact his position, in age order, amongst his siblings (plus one, since in the south they start numbering the kids at Second for some reason)). Even people who are not named for "their number" are often addressed (among family members) by them -- "Third Sister", "Fifth Aunt", etc.
I dunno for sure, but this practice may be widespread in Oriental countries. I'm guessing this is where Charlie Chan "number-one son" stuff came from.
"A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
There (supposedly) is a guy named 5/8 Smith -- I heard about this years ago. His father wanted him to be different from ALL the other Smiths.
Better look out for p@r1c1d3.
What's a leet speek name?
-
Anyone retarded enough to name their kid in l3375p34k lacks the genes that would make higher learning a possibility anyhow.
True, but what if they adopted and renamed a kid? It'd be sad to see the next Einstein never reach their potential because dumb-ass daddy named them w@nk3r.With a single click, my browser changed that l337 5p33k to some "engleesh phrase".
Pwn3riz3d.
"...a generation of kids has grown up thinking Trance is the shittiest music since country and western." - Paul van Dyk